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#This is why I shouldn't write meta
amethystina · 1 year
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The Devil Judge Meta: The Bus Scene
Hello and welcome to the chaos.
So, ever since I first saw this drama, I've been OBSESSED with the bus scene for how beautifully it establishes a lot of core traits for both Yo Han and Ga On's personalities. It is, quite simply, a masterpiece. And so, since I've got nothing better to do (*cough, cough*) here's a rambling meta where I scream about it, simply because I can and want to.
Disclaimer: This is by no means a COMPLETE meta of this scene. I will only be focusing on the characters and not, say, the cinematography. And even then I won't include every single detail. I mostly want to gush about how wonderfully this scene takes on the challenge of showing two characters' different personalities through their actions and reactions alone. Don't come at me if I don't talk about everything that makes this scene cool. Also, obviously, these observations are just my opinions and I don't expect everyone to agree. I'm just having fun yelling about characters I like.
Second Disclaimer: I was left unsupervised with Photoshop while having a fever. I take no responsibility for the resulting screenshots.
More under the cut!
And brace yourselves — it's hella long.
Let's just jump right into the action! (mainly because the build-up isn't all that interesting)
The moment the situation becomes clear to Ga On — i.e. that the little girl is in terrible danger — this is his immediate reaction:
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Good boy.
I mean, at this point, it's not even a particularly risky decision. The bus is still pretty far away so he should have enough time to grab the girl and run out of there. No biggie. And, clearly, the soldiers aren't going to be doing anything to help her, so it's understandable that Ga On takes it upon himself to do so. SOMEONE has to.
And this is a very good example of Ga On's problem-solving in action. His main priority is saving the victims and his method of choice — run over and grab the girl himself — may be simple, but also very straightforward and effective. It gives an immediate and tangible result. It's a bit impulsive, sure, since he's potentially putting himself in danger, but it also shows his selflessness and sincerity. He doesn't even HESITATE before he starts running since Ga On's problem-solving is very instinctual.
He's a man of action who doesn't waste time on second guesses, doubts, or plans. He sees a situation and intervenes with the method that occurs to him at the time.
So he's a quick thinker, definitely, but he also doesn't have much of a strategy outside of "save the girl." The scope of his solution is narrow, focusing more on rescuing the one in immediate danger rather than defusing the situation. That doesn't mean he's BAD at solving problems — he's actually very clever and reacts and adapts impressively fast — just that he's got a very specific goal in mind and the solution he chooses is usually decided by that goal.
In a tight spot, Ga On's main focus is pretty much always to rescue the victims (or innocents, if you prefer) rather than neutralising or stopping the threat. He is, first and foremost, a protector and saviour.
Which is very noble and heroic. We love that for him.
And Ga On's day would probably have gone a lot better if life hadn't decided to throw a Yo Han-shaped wrench into his reckless but well-meaning plans. Because, WOW, do their respective problem-solving tactics clash.
Case in point:
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This shot (aside from being very pretty) is a SPECTACULAR glimpse into Yo Han's mindset and POV. The focus is on the bus — the threat — but we can also clearly tell that, should Ga On try to rise, he and the girl might end up getting shot. There are innocents in between Yo Han and his target — innocents who might get hurt should Yo Han proceed with his planned actions.
And Yo Han still fires.
Which is why I totally don't blame Ga On for making this face:
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Like, Ga On later criticises Yo Han for being willing to risk the bus driver's life, but let's not forget that Yo Han was also willing to send a bullet flying over Ga On's head without hesitation. Just as Ga On was about to straighten, no less. That's risky as all hell.
And that brings us to Yo Han's problem-solving.
Unlike Ga On, Yo Han focuses on stopping the bus rather than protecting the victims — he even puts them in MORE danger by firing the gun with them in the crossfire. Which may seem even more reckless than Ga On's method at first glance, if it wasn't for this:
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Yo Han is perfectly calm.
Despite the pressure of the situation, he handles it with a cold, almost detached, precision. A precision that probably comes from the fact that he's already assessed how the situation will unfold and how he has to act in order to change its course. As he points out later, the bus would have kept going forward if it hadn't been stopped and, even if Ga On and the girl had managed to run away, there's a potential for countless more victims — soldiers, bystanders, and other employees at the Supreme Court. In neutralising the threat, he saves more lives.
In a sense, this can also be seen as punishing the instigator, as opposed to Ga On's choice of protecting innocents. As Yo Han later admits, he's willing to sacrifice one life to save many — especially when that someone is a bad person.
While Yo Han's actions are undoubtedly ruthless, he also has a wider scope of the situation than Ga On, to the point where they don't even view it the same. To Ga On, the girl getting run over is the problem that needs to be solved. In contrast, to Yo Han, the problem that should be solved is the speeding bus, which, if not stopped, will result in the girl getting run over.
This is why, instead of allowing Ga On and the girl time to run away, Yo Han doesn't lower the gun.
He's there to solve a problem and the speeding bus is the problem, not Ga On or the girl's possible fate. And with such a different core grasp of the situation, it's no wonder their respective solutions clash.
They're trying to solve two completely different problems.
Complete Sidetrack: I've seen some people criticise the realism of this scene because Ga On doesn't try to take the girl and run despite having many chances to do so, but I would argue that the biggest flaw in the realism is the preschool teacher. You're telling me that woman WOULDN'T turn back and try to save that child herself? Has the writer of this show even MET a preschool teacher? That girl is her responsibility! She wouldn't just leave her!
And sure, the woman has other children to take care of, but they're safely across the road already. She can order them to stay put and then run back. I think the only logical reason why she wouldn't is if someone is physically restraining her.
… or if the creators simply wanted a cool scene (that I admit to loving) and didn't really care if they misrepresented this poor woman. Justice for the preschool teacher!
ANYWAY. I DIGRESS.
I LOVE Ga On's face when he realises what just happened and that Yo Han is far from finished.
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Because Yo Han more or less holds Ga On and the little girl hostage. Which says quite a lot about his ruthlessness AND his confidence. Yo Han is clearly convinced that his method is the right one — that his aim is good enough to take the risk — and doesn't even give Ga On the option to protest. He literally holds Ga On at gunpoint and forces him to abandon his solution of grabbing the girl and running in favour of Yo Han's plan of stopping the bus. Basically, if Ga On wants to come out of this alive, he'll have to bend to Yo Han's will.
Foreshadowing much?
Like, short of trying to ROLL out of the line of fire, there's not much Ga On can do if he wants to avoid getting himself or the girl shot. He has NO idea when Yo Han might pull the trigger again or exactly where he is aiming.
And, well, as we see here, Ga On is clearly making the right choice by staying put. YIKES, Yo Han.
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And this highlights another aspect of Yo Han, which is his arrogance.
We've established that stopping the bus will most likely result in saving more lives, but there was nothing wrong with Ga On's initial response to the situation. Ga On and the girl would have been completely fine if Yo Han hadn't shown up when he did — or had simply chosen to wait a couple of seconds longer before firing the first shot.
Except Yo Han is so certain of his own abilities that he completely ignores what everyone else might be trying to do to solve the situation, to the point where he doesn't even care if he RUINS those efforts. He's already convinced his plan is better. So he essentially steps in and wrenches control away from everyone else — including Ga On — and the consequences could have been catastrophic, especially since he doesn't communicate with the others involved.
And if that isn’t Yo Han in a nutshell, I don't know what is.
Yo Han has no faith in anyone's plans but his own and will pursue them with a single-mindedness that's both alarming and kind of impressive.
If you want something done, do it yourself, I guess?
In some ways, Yo Han even CREATED this situation, with Ga On and the girl remaining in the bus's path. He could easily have let them run off first, but didn’t because he's so convinced he's doing what's best.
Then again, I guess we wouldn't have this shot if he had:
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I appreciate your dedication to being a protector, Ga On, but I don't think that's going to make much of a difference.
And this thing, where Yo Han's arrogance and actions are the direct cause for the complications they face, repeats a couple of times in the drama. Sometimes it's because he's stirred up so much shit that people get desperate and, a couple of times, it's because he's underestimated his opponents. And, sometimes, it even seems like it's just out of sheer curiosity, because he wants to see what will happen.
Like how he gets kidnapped and drugged by Sun Ah because he went off the meet her alone in a goddamn shipyard, or how he underestimated what Cha Kyung Hee would do if he pushed her into a corner, and how Sun Ah would never have tried to have Ga On beaten up in the slums if Yo Han hadn't paraded him around like his lovely little househusband, making it blatantly obvious how much he cares about him (which, I will admit, it another favourite scene of mine).
While Yo Han is definitely a good problem solver, he also CAUSES a lot of problems, both for himself and others. The part that I like about that, however — and what sets him apart from a lot of other characters in media — is that he's AWARE of the risks. He's not foolishly making reckless decisions that put him in danger (unlike someone else we know) but simply deems the risks to be worth the endgame. The risks Yo Han takes are calculated and, for better or worse, he's frighteningly good at maths.
But that only makes him seem more ruthless. Since no one else can see his calculations, it can be difficult to follow his logic, even more so since his values and morals are what they are (that's to say: OPTIONAL).
All of that said, while Yo Han is arrogant and very determined to be the one in control, he doesn't do it to show off or brag. He's used to being if not the smartest person in the room, then at least the most efficient one. He, too, is a man of action who will get things done smoothly and efficiently, no matter the cost.
And I do love this moment right here, just after the bus has only narrowly missed Ga On and the girl:
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They could have made him look smug — or even pleased — but they didn't. He remains calm and focused because, again, it's not about the glory. Just like his revenge plan, it's all about the mission — the result. He does what he has to in order to reach his goal, simple as that.
While Yo Han definitely carries a lot of intense emotions (some that he should probably talk to a therapist about) he is also incredibly goal-oriented, to the point where he doesn't let his emotions sway his decisions very often. More often than not, if Yo Han does something, it's because he has a plan — a goal or something he wants to accomplish. And he will pursue that goal without hesitation.
But that also means he doesn't really care about who he has to step over in order to get there — including victims and innocents.
Meanwhile, Ga On:
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Showing care and concern in a situation like this is pretty natural, I'd say, especially for someone as compassionate as Ga On. OF COURSE he would take the time to make sure the little girl is okay!
Ga On is such a good boy <3
And here's another difference between Yo Han and Ga On, since Yo Han makes no such effort. Which I wouldn't necessarily say means that Yo Han doesn't care, but rather that he doesn't bother to ask for verbal confirmation of something he can clearly see with his own eyes. They weren't hit by the bus so they should be fine. Nevermind possible shock or trauma — that’s definitely not Yo Han’s problem.
The difference IS pretty unsettling, anyway, and we get this shot (which I love):
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It's not even particularly long, but the fact that they lock eyes after such a traumatic event and THAT is the face Yo Han makes is… yeah. Say what you will about Ga On and his habit of jumping to conclusions, but I can't really blame him for wondering if Yo Han is a psychopath.
And that's another beauty of this entire scene, since not only does it tell us, the viewers, about these characters, but it also serves as a moment for Ga On to realise what kind of man his new boss actually is. That's to say, someone who doesn't hesitate to shoot despite innocents being in the way, but also chastises the soldiers for not having the guts to do it themselves.
Also, I know I said I wouldn't focus on cinematography, but I just want to point out how beautiful these two shots are:
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With Ga On and the girl — the victims, for all intents and purposes — framed by the soldier and Yo Han, which soon shifts into this:
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With Yo Han moving to COMPLETELY cover them. It's not only gorgeous from a visual and storytelling perspective, but you can also have a field day analysing what that might mean from a character and symbolic perspective.
But that's another meta, I guess.
Back to the wide-eyed deer Ga On.
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For someone as caring as Ga On, Yo Han's behaviour — and lack of compassion — is clearly quite upsetting. For which I honestly can't blame him. A lot of Yo Han's actions up until this point can be explained away as a superior trying to take action and protect his employees, but Yo Han chastising the soldiers for not firing sooner? Yeah, not so much. That is COLD, especially coming from a man who’s in a position of power over practically everyone else at the scene.
Because that's also something to remember: Yo Han doesn't just have power because he forcibly takes command, he also has a lot of authority due to his position.
A position he doesn't hesitate to abuse at points.
And, if we try to view this from Ga On's perspective, that shit is not only upsetting but downright TERRIFYING. Who wants to work for a cold and heartless dictator?
Anyway, back to Ga On being A Good Boy™.
His protective instincts are once again brought back into focus as he rushes to save the bus driver. Like with the girl, he doesn't hesitate, even if he is, once again, putting himself in danger. Saving people is instinctual to him and it doesn't matter who they are — Ga On values lives equally.
… well, until they hurt someone he cares about — then he's Down To Murder.
But that, too, is another meta entirely.
Anyway, Ga On's protectiveness is clearly one of the cornerstones of his character. Not only is he very heroic (though he'd certainly never use that word), but he's also a good caretaker and a very compassionate human being in general.
Meanwhile, Mr. Abyss over here:
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Yo Han makes no effort to help Ga On, neither personally nor by sending soldiers to aid him. And while that only serves to make Yo Han seem even more cold and unconcerned, it also makes complete sense considering what we established earlier. Because sending the soldiers to help would only put them at risk as well, should the bus explode before everyone can make it clear. Again, Yo Han chooses the option that will cause less damage and put fewer people at risk (hilariously), even if that means he's willing to forsake the lives currently in danger.
It's simple arithmetic, just like with the driver.
And, well, since he DOESN'T move, we also get this glorious shot:
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Everyone else ducks down or gets thrown off their feet, meanwhile, Yo Han just raises a hand to shield his face — as if a wholeass bus exploding is just a mild inconvenience to him.
10/10, Very Impressive. Very Extra.
HOWEVER, after this comes a brief but very fascinating moment, when the fire is roaming and Yo Han's gaze (presumably) lands on Ga On.
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During a couple of seconds, Yo Han seems to zone out, just blankly staring. It's the most unfocused he's been during this entire scene and I don't think it's a coincidence that the moment involves fire and Ga On (i.e. Isaac 2.0 – Sugar Baby Edition).
This is a moment that probably won't stand out all that much during a first watch, but holds a lot more meaning once you know Yo Han's backstory. It's an interesting glimpse into something like humanity — and weakness — from Yo Han. And I'm pretty sure it's intentional that most people are too panicked and/or disoriented to notice. While Ga On learns a lot about Yo Han in this scene, this moment — this particular thread, with Yo Han's trauma — is still too early to pull on. It's not until later that Ga On begins to see Yo Han's humanity.
This moment is for US, the viewers, more so than the other characters.
Anyway, in true Yo Han fashion, he's soon back to his regularly scheduled shenanigans.
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He still makes no effort to help Ga On or the bus driver, instead settling for a little tilt of his head that could be disapproval, could be approval, or just acceptance of how the last couple of minutes played out. They were, after all, minutes during which Yo Han made no attempt to wrestle control from Ga On, letting him attempt to save the bus driver without intervention. I wouldn't call it an outright test, but it's definitely a moment during which Yo Han waited and watched rather keenly.
Because, naturally, Yo Han is learning about Ga On, too, just like Ga On is learning about him. They're two very observant people and each action and reaction helps them start outlining the other's personality. Yo Han, in particular, has a good reason for cataloguing Ga On's behaviour and reactions, since it'll help him gauge if Ga On will be a hindrance or an asset to his revenge scheme.
And while I don't think that Yo Han is particularly impressed by what Ga On did — it was impulsive and reckless, and Yo Han clearly doesn't care much for heroics — it DID give results. And Yo Han is all about the results. If nothing else, he learned that Ga On is both stubborn and compassionate.
The latter isn't very useful to Yo Han, but the former certainly is. And I have no doubt that he's filing that information away for later.
And, hilariously, this is the point where Yo Han does ANOTHER very Yo Han thing:
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Despite being the man with the highest authority at the scene — i.e. the one who should arguably step in, take command, and deal with the aftermath — Yo Han simply turns around and leaves. Once the threat has been handled, he sees no point in staying since his purpose was never to protect or help the people involved — it was to solve a problem.
And since the bus has now been stopped, the problem is solved.
The fact that he also made it explode is clearly not his problem.
He doesn't care about the fallout, even when he's the direct cause. This returns time and time again, where Yo Han is fully prepared to stir shit up, but rarely stays long enough to deal with the consequences. Most notably in the last episode, when he dumps the burn crisp of a judicial system in Ga On's lap and tells him to fix what he broke.
Which is HILARIOUS.
But, honestly, also very reasonable. Say what you will about Yo Han (and I do — very often) but he's a man who knows himself, his strengths, and his abilities incredibly well. And he holds no illusions about being a nurturing person. His strength lies in analysing situations, solving problems, and, for lack of a better term, Fuck Shit Up. He's the wrecking ball — the unstoppable force of nature — not one of the helpers who come after to build it all back up again, better and shinier.
That kind of job is definitely better suited for Ga On, who's kind, compassionate, and driven.
So while it is very irresponsible for the man in charge to just leave in a situation like this, it probably makes sense to Yo Han. Why waste time on something he has no interest in and, in some ways, isn't even particularly good at?
(also, it makes him look WAY cooler if he walks away with that fire burning in the background, I guess, which might also be a factor)
Unsurprisingly, it makes less sense to Ga On who, the moment he starts regaining his bearing, looks up and tries to find Yo Han.
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And while I AM tempted to make a joke about always looking for your crush first after a dangerous situation, we all know it’s way too early for that here. No, Ga On looks up partly to see if anyone else has gotten hurt but, also, to look for guidance. It IS Yo Han's responsibility to handle this situation and Ga On is well within his right to expect that of his boss.
Except Yo Han isn't there.
Boss of the Year, this one.
And not only does that convey to Ga On that Yo Han is unpredictable, but also, to some extent, UNRELIABLE. Someone cold and uncaring — someone not to be trusted to uphold his end of the bargain. Someone who causes a lot of damage, but will leave it to others to mend the wounds.
And, clearly, Ga On is VERY disappointed.
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In short, Yo Han doesn't really make a good first OR second impression on Ga On. Though I would argue that Yo Han couldn't care less about that, which probably only makes Ga On MORE frustrated, since he's clearly more of a traditionalist, who believes in being polite, accommodating, and taking responsibility. And while Yo Han has no trouble taking responsibility in certain regards — like admitting that he was willing to kill the bus driver if he had to — it's not in the considerate, altruistic way that Ga On no doubt would prefer to see in a superior.
Yo Han doesn't give a flying fuck about propriety and politeness, and when he's being a good boss or kind to strangers, it's usually performative.
Which, again, is why I don't blame Ga On for wondering just what kind of person Yo Han is. Even just in this one scene, Yo Han doesn't exactly come across as very sympathetic. Cool, efficient, and ruthless as fuck, sure, but definitely not the kind of guy you want to be working with. Which is only made all the more obvious when it's put next to Ga On's somewhat reckless but ultimately well-meaning and selfless acts of compassion.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're each other's opposites, but this scene goes a long way to show the differences in Ga On and Yo Han's personalities, mindsets, and values. And it doesn't necessarily take sides or try to tell you which is better, just that they're different. Both have pros and cons.
Ga On is kind, caring, and will do whatever it takes to protect innocents, but that also makes him reckless and unpredictable.
Yo Han is calm, efficient, and always has a carefully calculated plan, but that also makes him cold and ruthless.
All of this from one single scene.
They learn so much about each other — and we about them — in this one scene that you don't really need much more to understand just how violently these two opposing forces are going clash as the drama progresses. This scene is MARVELLOUS.
Even more so since they don't speak a WORD to each other.
They talk to side characters, but not each other and still, SOMEHOW, this one scene contains so much information — so much TENSION — that you can cut it with a knife. This, even more so than their first meeting, is where the foundation for their relationship is laid and they manage to do it entirely through actions and reactions.
These two will be the death of me, I swear.
In conclusion: FUCK YES I LOVE THIS DRAMA.
You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.
End of meta.
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jegulily-stuff · 9 months
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Not sure how this has become a hot take but Regulus loves his parents.
Not as a 'deep down under the hate he loves them' kinda thing. He loves them before he feels anything negative. Even at the end of his life (+ character arc) he's trying to protect them from getting hurt because of his actions against Voldemort - that's the given reason he keeps it secret.
He's not the child with a load of baggage about his family being *innately evil*. He doesnt think that. If anything he thinks they're the height of rightness and propriety that he needs to live up to. What we think is right, to him is completely immoral and an unforgivable betrayal of his loved ones - that's what he has to struggle with.
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essektheylyss · 3 months
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I am obsessed with how narratively convenient Lark's divinatory abilities are. She's the only one of the protagonists who is both pragmatic and has a working sense of self-preservation, so having some internal impulse that is actually the guiding hand of the cosmos pushing her into doing the REALLY stupid shit is both necessary and really useful.
Like, I am the type of writer who kind of scoffs at the idea that characters are beyond the writer's control and will completely screw over your outline, because on one hand, a sensible outline will follow the characters' personalities and tendencies anyway. Obviously in an ensemble cast you will need to do some wrangling, but in theory your characters are responding to varying degrees of stimuli in order to maneuver them into the places you need them to be for things to all come together in the end.
But more importantly, "curse from god" is the funniest and easiest way to push any character to do things beyond the realm of reason when necessary, and frankly, what the fuck is the point of playing god if you don't embrace that?
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goliig68 · 9 months
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What is your unpopular 19 days opinion that will get you in this situation?
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jfleamont · 10 months
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Lily Evans is a woman in stem
I assume you're referring to this post I made not long ago and YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES
Also, is Potions a male-dominated field? Because it seems that the wizarding world is more progressive when it comes to gender equality.
For example, Quidditch is co-ed and there are some pretty successful female Quidditch players. For Aurors, Tonks and Alice Longbottom were quite accomplished in their field. So perhaps it's the same for Lily's field.
What do you guys think?
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imminent-danger-came · 10 months
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Do you think the Demon Bull Family will enter the plot again? I think a lot of parallels between MK and Red Son have come around this season and it'd be interesting to explore
Oh please share your Red Son and MK related thoughts with me! I'm not quite sure what you're talking about specifically, but of course the DBK - Wukong / Red Son - MK parallel is always fun.
I don't think the Demon Bull Family will ever be shoved out of the plot entirely, at the VERY least we'll get something like how they were integrated in s4, but with Wukong, Macaque, and DBK all being previous members of the brotherhood I hope we get to explore their relationship a bit more!
I hold onto my crumbs, and so I remember Wukong's little "I've honestly missed that guy" from Revenge of the Spider Queen, and maybe deep down I want that to be explored. It seems like we're going to get into why Wukong stayed up on flower fruit mountain for all that time, and part of that might involve why he sealed DBK away/his feelings on that whole situation. And honestly if DBK is involved, then Red Son is involved. Red Son's admiration for his father is very similar to the admiration MK has for Monkey King, so maybe there's something to be explored there!
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frazzledsoul · 5 months
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The thing about season 4 of Gilmore Girls is that I think it mostly rests on the plot arcs of the supporting characters.
Lorelai is dating yet another upper class love interest and is putting the inn together. Jason himself is fine (we all know Lorelai's in no danger of settling down with him) but because he's such a fixture on the show we're treated to those mind-numbingly boring insurance industry plotlines and it's not any more exciting to hear about Lorelai waiting for an oven to be delivered.
Rory is even worse. She has no love interests, no real friends at college except Paris, and her Yale plotlines are mostly Rory being listless and awkward. Yale isn't a compelling environment with its own social context and relationships, like Stars Hollow is and Chilton was. It's just Rory being socially maladjusted and it's boring to watch. It doesn't help that her biggest problem is she's bored and she might have to drop a class at one point. Big whoop.
Almost everyone else in her friend group has more exciting stuff going on and are dealing with actual adult issues.
Paris dumps her age-appropriate boyfriend for a senior citizen and vacillates between wondering if he'll get bored with her or just up and die on her. Lane recruits new band members, comes clean to her mother about her chosen lifestyle, becomes temporarily homeless, and then finds a new home for the band and makes up with her mom. Jess is also homeless and has been wandering the country after things appear to have gone sour with his dad: he fights with Luke, refuses to pacify his mother, drops unwelcome love bombs on Rory, makes peace with Luke, and tries to be vulnerable with Rory only to have her shut him down and force him to start over and orient his life around something else. Dean is stuck in a marriage he never should have initiated and is trying to make ends meet: he and Rory get mired in trying to relive an idyllic relationship they never had while both of them ignore his actual adult responsibilities (before they get to this point, Rory does spend quite a lot of time haranguing him and Lindsay for not living the comparatively privileged college life she is).
The season basically lives and dies on these B-plots until the end of the season, when Luke and Lorelai get together, Jess pops in again and causes drama, Richard and Emily separate, and Dean and Rory choose the absolute worst way to resolve their current sense of ennui. However, it does appear to me with Rory specifically she has no plot while her friends are trying (and sometimes failing) to be adults and have much more pressing concerns which she seems rather...unbothered by a lot of the time, especially Dean and Jess. Her primary concern when Jess comes back is not that he is broke, homeless, and not terribly mentally stable, but how his presence makes her feel. She cries on Dean's shoulder about dropping a class while nagging him about not living the same kind of life she is (all the while making their dynamic all the more problematic). But the thing is ... why should her feelings take precedence in all this, instead of the more compelling characters? They're the only interesting things about the show at this point.
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queerofthedagger · 2 years
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god I've seen so many slightly annoying to downright horrible takes on just so much stuff today, I think I should like. not interact with people for a few days actually
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theidiotabides · 5 months
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help I'm putting more thought into a media property than the people who made it did. again.
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On the "Choose a Side" Discourse
With HBO leaning veryyyy heavily into "pick a side" for their promos, the "no team" people are crawling out of the woodwork. I want to preface this post by saying that I'm not saying people shouldn't have favorite characters who aren't mine, nor that people should just be totally invested in fandom discourse.
I already made a post about the issues with the arguments of the "no team" people, so I'll just summarize my thoughts from that real quick. A majority of their arguments and metas are thinly veiled anti Rhaenyra thoughts. That's still true of this new wave of this group.
Now, one thing I will agree with them on is: GRRM did not write this story to be one of choose a side. However, that is not because the Blacks and the Greens are equally bad or the Targaryens are all evil. No, it's because the Greens were always in the wrong and GRRM makes this abundantly clear to us in F&B.
Let's look at some facts from the Dance. While male primogeniture is tradition, it's not the law; the king's word is law, something ASOIAF has established time and again. The Greens took the throne through underhanded ways. They left Viserys' body to rot for days while they prepared for Aegon's coronation to prevent Rhaenyra from learning and coming to KL. They forced the smallfolk to attend and most didn't cheer for Aegon, with some even calling for Rhaenyra while most were confused and angry.
Aemond drew first blood by killing the unarmed thirteen year old envoy, Lucerys Velaryon. A majority of the realm declared for Rhaenyra; 53 houses supported her, while only 28 supported Aegon. The Greens committed the greatest atrocities of the Dance: Aemond burning the Riverlands and Daeron massacring Tumbleton. They also committed the greater number of atrocities.
The Greens also lost the war. The Blacks weren't just fighting for Rhaenyra, they fought for her heirs as well. This is why they swore to her and Jacaerys; later for Aegon III after the deaths of his older brothers. The Black forces continued to fight after Rhaenyra's murder and took KL. Aegon was murdered by his own men when the Blacks were marching on KL; in other words, the Greens knew they were beat, so they killed Aegon in an attempt to save themselves. Since Aegon left no heirs aside from Jaehaera, Aegon III was crowned and married to Jaehaera. The Blacks won the war.
Aegon the Usurper's bloodline is destroyed with the deaths of Jaehaera and Gaemon Palehair. This is the final affirmation of the Greens being in the wrong. GRRM's books punish usurpers by wiping out their bloodlines; Maegor and Robert Baratheon being the most obvious examples. Aegon and all the Greens have no descendants, their bloodline is dead.
Rhaenyra's bloodline, on the other hand, continues all the way through to the main series. Daenerys Targaryen, the most powerful character in the series, is her descendant, as is Jon Snow (unconfirmed as of now in the books) who is another of the key five. Rhaenyra may have died, but her faction won the war and her bloodline will save the world through her two greatest descendants (alongside the rest of the key five).
The Dance of the Dragons is, ultimately, a story of the damage the patriarchy does and how misogyny is destructive to the world. The Dance caused the death of the dragons and a great loss of power for women in the realm. Queen consorts after Rhaenyra had markedly less power and there was a drop in female leaders of the great houses. The loss of the dragons caused the weakening of magic in the world as a whole.
The Dance isn't about who your favorite war criminal is, nor is it about the evil of the Targaryens. It's about misogyny; something HOTD seems to have forgotten. Even before they started pushing TB vs TG so hard, they still missed the point.
It doesn't matter that Rhaenyra isn't a perfect, or even a good, person. It doesn't matter that Rhaenyra is non-conforming, plays the political game, and exploits her father's favor. Rhaenyra could have been as pious and well-behaved as Naerys and the Greens still would have usurped her. Rhaenyra could have had children with Laenor, and still the Greens would have usurped her. HOTD tries to paint the usurpation as partially being on Rhaenyra and her choices, but nothing Rhaenyra could have done would have been good enough.
The Blacks are the protagonists of the Dance. Are they perfect? No. Are they heroes? No. GRRM loves his gray characters, the Blacks are no exception. If you people want a story with black and white morality and perfect protagonists, go read another book. Just because people aren't perfect and don't operate exclusively in what's right according to our modern standards doesn't mean they aren't the protagonists.
In conclusion: there isn't a TB vs TG discourse in the Dance because the Greens are the antagonists and completely in the wrong. The point of the Dance is that the misogyny of the Greens damaged the realm. Rhaenyra is the rightful queen, there is no actual argument for Aegon or any of his allies.
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Rhaenyra is the rightful queen to Westeros, go cry to George if you don't like it.
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smellslikebot · 2 months
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"how do I keep my art from being scraped for AI from now on?"
if you post images online, there's no 100% guaranteed way to prevent this, and you can probably assume that there's no need to remove/edit existing content. you might contest this as a matter of data privacy and workers' rights, but you might also be looking for smaller, more immediate actions to take.
...so I made this list! I can't vouch for the effectiveness of all of these, but I wanted to compile as many options as possible so you can decide what's best for you.
Discouraging data scraping and "opting out"
robots.txt - This is a file placed in a website's home directory to "ask" web crawlers not to access certain parts of a site. If you have your own website, you can edit this yourself, or you can check which crawlers a site disallows by adding /robots.txt at the end of the URL. This article has instructions for blocking some bots that scrape data for AI.
HTML metadata - DeviantArt (i know) has proposed the "noai" and "noimageai" meta tags for opting images out of machine learning datasets, while Mojeek proposed "noml". To use all three, you'd put the following in your webpages' headers:
<meta name="robots" content="noai, noimageai, noml">
Have I Been Trained? - A tool by Spawning to search for images in the LAION-5B and LAION-400M datasets and opt your images and web domain out of future model training. Spawning claims that Stability AI and Hugging Face have agreed to respect these opt-outs. Try searching for usernames!
Kudurru - A tool by Spawning (currently a Wordpress plugin) in closed beta that purportedly blocks/redirects AI scrapers from your website. I don't know much about how this one works.
ai.txt - Similar to robots.txt. A new type of permissions file for AI training proposed by Spawning.
ArtShield Watermarker - Web-based tool to add Stable Diffusion's "invisible watermark" to images, which may cause an image to be recognized as AI-generated and excluded from data scraping and/or model training. Source available on GitHub. Doesn't seem to have updated/posted on social media since last year.
Image processing... things
these are popular now, but there seems to be some confusion regarding the goal of these tools; these aren't meant to "kill" AI art, and they won't affect existing models. they won't magically guarantee full protection, so you probably shouldn't loudly announce that you're using them to try to bait AI users into responding
Glaze - UChicago's tool to add "adversarial noise" to art to disrupt style mimicry. Devs recommend glazing pictures last. Runs on Windows and Mac (Nvidia GPU required)
WebGlaze - Free browser-based Glaze service for those who can't run Glaze locally. Request an invite by following their instructions.
Mist - Another adversarial noise tool, by Psyker Group. Runs on Windows and Linux (Nvidia GPU required) or on web with a Google Colab Notebook.
Nightshade - UChicago's tool to distort AI's recognition of features and "poison" datasets, with the goal of making it inconvenient to use images scraped without consent. The guide recommends that you do not disclose whether your art is nightshaded. Nightshade chooses a tag that's relevant to your image. You should use this word in the image's caption/alt text when you post the image online. This means the alt text will accurately describe what's in the image-- there is no reason to ever write false/mismatched alt text!!! Runs on Windows and Mac (Nvidia GPU required)
Sanative AI - Web-based "anti-AI watermark"-- maybe comparable to Glaze and Mist. I can't find much about this one except that they won a "Responsible AI Challenge" hosted by Mozilla last year.
Just Add A Regular Watermark - It doesn't take a lot of processing power to add a watermark, so why not? Try adding complexities like warping, changes in color/opacity, and blurring to make it more annoying for an AI (or human) to remove. You could even try testing your watermark against an AI watermark remover. (the privacy policy claims that they don't keep or otherwise use your images, but use your own judgment)
given that energy consumption was the focus of some AI art criticism, I'm not sure if the benefits of these GPU-intensive tools outweigh the cost, and I'd like to know more about that. in any case, I thought that people writing alt text/image descriptions more often would've been a neat side effect of Nightshade being used, so I hope to see more of that in the future, at least!
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comicaurora · 9 months
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Hey red, what's your opinion on some modern writing that's very lamp shady? And do you have any advice on how to avoid "Well that just happened" dialogue?
It's an interesting question!
The thing is, lampshading exists for a reason, but it's not the reason it gets used a lot of the time. Writers might lampshade a narrative choice they're insecure about, while characters lampshade because the things they go through in a typical story are kind of bonkers, and we might expect them to notice. If a character signs on for a simple mercenary expedition and ends up discovering they're the long-lost prince of a kingdom they've never heard of, that's weird and they probably feel weird about it. If an ally is determined to 1v1 their super overpowered nemesis with no help from their friends, those friends might have opinions about how dumb that is.
This is a form of lampshading that doesn't break immersion because it's entirely in-character and doesn't lean on the fourth wall. There's a difference between a character noticing how weird their life is and a character pointing out how cliched a recent experience was. In the latter case, the character is treating their life like a story, and while it IS a story, they shouldn't know that.
There's a spectrum here, with "complete sincerity and taking every turn of the plot at face value" defining the 0-point and "complete self-aware uninvestment" at the far end, but healthy levels of lampshading live somewhere in the middle. Characters at the 0-point accepting everything that happens without question can feel just as weird as characters that won't stop pointing out the TVTropes entry they're currently living. It's about what it makes sense for the character to find disruptive or noteworthy. A hardened badass probably won't see the need to point out how bonkers a recent fight scene was, but a newcomer to the Cool Bombastic Adventure scene might be really excited when they pull off a cool special move and want to point it out.
I think this is why the recent D&D movie worked for a lot of people, because while the main characters all lampshade their lives to varying degrees, the way they do so makes sense for all of them. Edgin is a bard and storyteller so he has a slightly meta perspective on a lot of things, purposefully avoids playing along with certain narrative conventions and sometimes responds to other people's dialogue by critiquing their dialogue instead of just responding normally; Holga doesn't really care to understand how the world works and so keeps pointing out that they should just use magic to solve their problems, which is probably the most popular lampshade in the whole genre; Doric and Simon don't get a ton of time to shine character-wise, but they'll both occasionally poke holes in the pretense of the story they're in. The thing that makes this all work is Xenk, who plays absolutely every moment completely 100% straight and is entirely immersed in the objectively ridiculous setting of D&D. Same goes for most of the villains, except for Forge, who's probably the wackiest and most self-aware character in the entire movie, but in a way that makes him feel callous and disregarding of the people around him, like he's uninvested in the world not because he knows he's a fictional character but because he has too much money and power to care about anything. The ways each character does or does not lampshade their surroundings make sense for who they are as people and reinforce their characterization and place in the world instead of undermining it.
I recently watched a couple episodes of Stargate Atlantis and noticed something similar - the main character and, to a lesser extent, the rest of his associates from Earth have a tendency to make wry observations about his objectively bizarre life and the eccentricities of the people around him, which helps contrast against the extremely serious and businesslike Cool Space Warriors they keep accumulating, which helps make them feel (a) distinct from each other and (b) relatable considering all the weird stuff that happens. And the protagonist switches off the quips as soon as things start looking perilous for his team, so you never get the impression that they aren't invested in the story they're living, and as a result the various quips and lampshades come across more as a habit or a coping mechanism than a disruption to the narrative itself.
So basically I think you can get away with a lot of lampshades as long as the character doesn't feel like they know they're in a story.
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Text
That comma
Or, connections my brain makes when I don't sleep well for over a week because of a cold - read at your own risk :)
"I went to one meeting ten years ago. They were wittering on about the Christmas lights and passed a resolution condemning the improper use of apostrophes on signs in windows." (Mr. Arnold, s2e5)
This line always makes me laugh because I get super twitchy about certain grammar and punctuation errors. But errors happen, and you can usually tell what someone meant vs. what they wrote, so you correct it in your mind based on what you presume they meant and move on because there are bigger things to worry about in the world. Right?
Maybe we shouldn't always be so quick to presume and move on, though. Sometimes, things are supposed to be written a certain way for a reason. That reason is important, so we're taught the right way to write that thing. We all learn how to do it, and it's generally not something we screw up because there are consequences for doing it wrong. Like an address, for example. Addresses tell something or someone where to go. Maybe to a pub called The Resurrectionist - that one's at 66 Goat Gate in Edinburgh, right? It said so on the record that Maggie gave Aziraphale:
The Resurrectionist
66, Goat Gate
Edinburgh
Except - there's this annoying little comma in there that I've been ignoring for months. Right after the 66. Exactly where it shouldn't be - not if you're writing a street address. So I'm going to stop ignoring it and ask a question.
Is this actually a street address? I'm not questioning that the pub is in Edinburgh - that's well-established. It's that middle line - 66, Goat Gate - that I'm not sure of anymore. I'm having trouble making excuses for that comma.
If it isn't a street address, then what is it? I'm not sure, and I don't know if we have all the information to figure it out. My sleep-deprived brain has come up with a couple of crazy questions and ideas though. Starting with - what if the Clue is actually multiple Clues? What if we've just been thinking about the pub, but that second line contains a separate clue or clues about Edinburgh, so that Aziraphale Knows Where [He's] Going? (see what I did there?)
These ideas do require an assumption that we shouldn't just take season 2 at face value, but they aren't tied to any specific theories like time loops, dreams, etc.
This post from onceuponathyme about references to the number 66 in the show and promo posters, and gallup24's comment that the press pass in Newspaperman!Aziraphale's hat also has the number 66 on it got me thinking about whether the "address" and the hat are meant to be connected. The references to the number 66 could be an easter egg - the Book of Revelations is the 66th book of the Bible. But is it an in-show clue, too? Is the 66 on Everyday single telling Aziraphale to wear it on his hat, maybe as a signal to someone? ("The clarinet, it makes beautiful music.")
Moving on to Goat Gate. It could still be the name of a road. I have two other ideas though:
We've already seen goats turned into crows. Gate is an old term that can mean road or street. Goat Gate = Crow Road? (I don't know that I love this, but I'll put it out there anyway.)
There's also the symbolism of goats tied to Hell, Satan, and Crowley in particular - drconstellation has a lovely meta about sheep vs goats, so I'm not going to go any farther into that. But I do want to stay on Crowley, and the second place we see Aziraphale - the cemetery.
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Not quite this, but I can find a gif for just about every other part of the scene except for the line I'm looking for. The one where after a bunch of hilarious noises, he says, "Do I sound like a goat?"
And then, a short while later...
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The ground opens up (a gate to Hell?), and Crowley disappears, pulled down to Hell. And then we get one continuous shot of Aziraphale turning around in that spot that starts in 1827 and ends in present day.
We still don't know exactly why Aziraphale went to the cemetery. Maybe "Goat Gate" is the clue that sent him there?
One final thing I noticed in that episode that feels a little off to me now - Crowley's reaction when Aziraphale calls and asks him if he remembers Mr. Dalrymple. "Oh yeah, not a doctor, a mister! Whatever happened to him?" It's surprisingly normal and relaxed, considering what happened at the end of the night, isn't it?
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vitanithepure · 8 months
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Can we talk about Gale again? And Mystra, one last time? Or at least let me vent? I know it seems like I can't shut up about it, but deal with me this one last time?
It's a long one, an fervent one, and possibly the last one on their relationship because there isn't much to tell for me after this. I just want to lay it to rest on my part, it's too emotionally draining, but I wanted to do this.
Spoilers for them ahead.
It was some time ago I did the talk with Mystra and Gale as an origin character and I needed some time to process this and gather my thoughts. Because I was left reeling with how personal it felt for me and I hated seeing that to bo honest, even though I think whoever did write this scene did it... very well. I feel a lot of thought went into it, so even though it does touch a delicate subject it does it as tastefully as possible.
Okay, let's begin with a real banger.
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Why? This will forever read as "I gave you a solution, explain yourself why you didn't die when I asked you to." for me. What kind of messed up question is that to ask someone?
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But can I say how there is absolutely no wrong anwser to that asinine question? You can roleplay however you wish, but none of them are bad anwsers. Some of them are more heartbreaking then the others, but none are in any way making excuses. There is nothing to excuse and I'm glad whoever wrote this dialogue recognized this.
I chose the "I have someone else to live for" one here, because I felt that Gale, at this point, really found that special someone, be it a friend or lover, to live for. It's gut-wrenching that he needed someone to keep him alive in the first place, but this is what having an abusive ex does to you.
But the other choices here? All of them fair. She absolutely had no right to ask that of him, no matter the crime, that's just a fucked up thing to expect.
Being afraid to die? Valid, this shouldn't be put up to question.
Two last ones? Pure gold. I treat the fourth one as a direct jab at her own teachings, on how all magic needs to be preserved and studied? It's like him saying "Hey, I did what you expected and now your mad?".
The very last one is poetic justice. "I owe you nothing." and if that were me this would be the absolute end of this discussion. Mic drop, I'm out of here.
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And okay, I did take he self-pity route with "I let you down." here becuase this is what I believe is closest to how "canon" Gale feels about this. That's the most heartbreaking thing about it, that he believes he was not worth enough before and is even less now and doesn't deserve love, of any kind.
What are the other options? Well, all in character and each seems like a valid way for Gale to feel. But me, the player, who is fortunate to know some meta knowledge? Oh boy.
"I was a danger to you." No you weren't. She is the goddess of magic, one of the most powerful out here. She is magic. All you could do is make her day worse.
"I disobeyed you." Yeah, you did. And she sentenced you to a slow death for it.
"You were threatened." Eh, not really. But what comes after that statement? "You realised you couldn't control me."? Yes, that is the only thing she felt threatened about - loosing control.
"Our relationship bored you. The orb was just an excuse to end it." I mean... maybe? Not enough is known about it but seeing how all reincarnations of Mystra are fickle lovers at best I would say it's a possibility. Even if it is just his ego speaking here - damn, what a way to end a relationship.
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She has the audacity to tell him "he only thought of himself". Pot calling the kettle much?
Oooh, but I love what we can say here. The amout of vicious call outs here is superb.
We get to call out how much of a control freak she is. Then we can say how out of place was her punishment. Because I feel like it was a fucking equivalent of throwing a child into a dark cellar for breaking your favorite cup, while all they wanted to do was wash it for you. That is how imbalanced this whole thing is and I'm not taking criticism on that.
We also get to straight up ask what was the lesson if she never let him know what he really did and left him without means to make things right?
Then my favorite. Straight up ask her how many lives was she willing to sacrifice to get rid of the problem?
And last but not least - call her out on her lies. That's what she did. Why? I don't know. Was she afraid? Possibly, because the Karsite Weave + Crown of Karsus combo could potentially threaten her. Potentially, because as we saw in one of the Gale endings, she has no problem with just getting rid of a newly ascended god wielding them. That leads me to believe she is not afraid of loosing power as much as just being rivaled with. The indignity she has to suffer, truly.
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Hit a nail on the head here. Who cares about mortals, if they live or die and in how many droves? Competition comes knocking, so all gloves are off. And that is what I believe to be the crux of the matter. Mystra wants to remove the Absolute (because that's the new upstart god breaking the status quo), the orb containing he rival Weave, the Crown which threatens her rule over magic all in one swoop. Oh, and that one guy who tries too hard and refuses to die. No biggie. Who cares, she has a line of followers who would replace her Chosen at any given time.
I'm a salty bitch over the fact we can't keep the Crown of Karsus, but instead of using it - just hide it away again. Stablize Gale's Karsite Weave and keep that thing around, hidden away. Let her sweat over the idea someone else might find it one day and rival her rule.
I know I'm way too emotional about it, but like I said, it's very personal - I been there, done that, and never recovered in full after it. I'll die defending anyone and any pixels who are struggling with their self-worth and trying to get over an emotionally abusive relationships.
"Be the better person, die saving the world and I'll 'forgive' you." Fuck. You.
And a bonus, for those of you who stuck around till the end, because I was totally naming the screens and yelling at my monitor while doing this.
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wetcatspellcaster · 4 days
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Metapost: "The Ascendent"
**this is a meta for my fic, Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth, and NOT a discussion of the BG3 game canon in any way. If you try and make this into a disk-horse, I will BITE you**
(spoilers under the cut for Chapters 1-23 of Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth).
So... remember in the Chapter One endnote when I said I was a Spike/Buffy fan first, and a person second? x
・゚: ✧・゚: ・゚: ✧・゚:・゚✧:・゚・゚✧:・゚
In more seriousness, there was a number of fictional seasonings/ingredients that went into creating what I felt was the villain of a Gothic horror, and what I felt could turn the Ascendent into something that was both 'fixable', and something I enjoyed writing.
Those ingredients were:
Spike and the idea of 'soulless' vampires in the BtVS canon - do I like this conceit of BtVS worldbuilding and how it's used in the show? No. I think it often underlines how bad Whedon is at writing romance. BUT I do think it gives Buffy this free pass for which vampires she can/can't like or adopt, and I needed some of that for my protagonist. I need a 'I can fix him' moment - BtVS has those in fucking SPADES.
Howl's Moving Castle (this one was accidental, I'm still mad at myself but I can't deny it's there) - man conducts magic ritual for power, removing an essential part of himself in the process that needs to be returned
Picture of Dorian Gray (the idea of an exterior staying pristine while something hidden suffers and decays)
Curse of Strahd (the soulless in Barovia, which I mentioned in Chapter 23)
The idea of default moral alignments in D&D. I have a whole chapter arguing against this in my thesis (mostly bc it's often applied to entire races) but I was fascinated by creating a set of circumstances where I feel like a default moral alignment is valid, actually. 7,000 deaths seems like a good set up. I wanted to imagine a being that was trapped within a default moral alignment, and the laws of its very being prevent it from being good no matter what it tries, and it knows that (this kind of creates a feedback loop with the Spike/Buffy stuff)
The parts of the BG3 canon I took and REMADE (I'm stressing this throughout, I was making a horror story and a horror monster your honour):
Astarion conducts the Rite of Profane Ascension with scars on his back, but has to scar Cazador's back personally, suggesting that um... the Rite REALLY SHOULDN'T BE CONDUCTED BY SOMEONE WHO'S GOT THOSE SCARS. Cazador wasn't going to do it that way, is all I'm saying!!
The idea that Ascended!Ending Astarion is a concentrated version of certain traits that have persisted throughout his story - his flirtiness, his understanding of sex as a mechanism and expression of power, his use of a façade as a mask for trauma he refuses to acknowledge.
The lines alluding to dissociation in the brothel foursome, post-Ascension.
The idea that Astarion seduced Tav to survive or protect himself- in my case, because I made the Ascendent empty save for Astarion's survival instinct, the idea that he would gravitate towards Tav as one of his default modes to potentially survive made sense to me - this is why it becomes an obsession.
・゚: ✧・゚: ・゚: ✧・゚:・゚✧:・゚・゚✧:・゚
For me, when writing, the Ascendent is a few things:
An intensification of vampirism in a different, fucked-up direction. Yeah, A!Astarion, you can walk in sunlight and you can eat and drink and don't need blood. But you are still a hungering maw of emptiness that feels like it will never be whole or close and connected to the living - just now in a wildly different, metaphysical/existential direction! Welcome to depression, alienation, and otherness!
A soulless being, that knows it is soulless - that initially was very happy with its life but then as the years passed, increasingly spends its every waking moment knowing there is something innately wrong with it that it can't seem to shake, no matter how much it engages with life and all the pleasures of life. (see the 'every meal without savour' speech)
A magically literal metaphor for Astarion's dissociation in moments of extreme trauma, up to and including the fight with Cazador - essentially, the moments when there is nothing but a performance or an exterior, because the self/soul are suffering and they cant' come to phone right now
Astarion's survival instinct. As I say in Chapter 23 - Mephistopheles thinks it is an empty body, who's performance is trying to deny the reality of it's own existence. Rosalie, who has a bit more understanding of Astarion, sees that the performance is not just a coping mechanism but one of Astarion's main modes of survival. The Ascendent is Astarion's survival instinct/techniques for endurance, without any soul or person behind them to protect. This is how I tried to tie in the flirty, hypersexual persona and wrap it with a bow.
I wanted a monster that was undeniably scary, and monstrous to me (oh? you can't fit in or be happy no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, and you think there's something intrinsically off? how's that autism diagnosis going Emma) but that I also felt sympathy and true sorrow for. I needed to have motivations for him chasing after Tav that I could write meaningfully from and sympathise with.
Not only has Astarion used Tav as a life-raft once before, they've also proven to be the most secure thing he's ever clung to. Of course a rabid survival instinct Astarion would become obsessed, and see them as a potential solution to the problem (this was then intensified by Rosalie also being a walking, overbearing moral compass, and having bound him in a contract in the first week of living, accidentally - a lawful good immoveable objects meets a default moral alignment unstoppable force.)
...Because I also wanted that moral alignment spice!! Wizards of the Coast, default moral alignment is fucked up actually!!! Imagine something trying so desperately to be good - literally being bound in a pact and having been told to be good - but the laws of the universe and its very essence are like "nah mate, we kind of want to destroy and annihilate everything, we're neutral evil personified". That's scary!! that's fucked up!! that's what a birth from 7000 deaths gets you!!!
・゚: ✧・゚: ・゚: ✧・゚:・゚✧:・゚・゚✧
So, now for the actual timeline, for people who aren't interested in my silly musings but mostly just want answers lmfao.
Rosalie makes the decision not to intervene in Cazador's mansion, making it seem like she'll support whatever decision Astarion will make there.
Rite of Profane Ascension happens. Astarion conducts the ritual, rips his own soul from his body, the Ascendent is born with literally zero context. Mephistopheles is fucked in Cania, because a bunch of stuff has just gone wrong.
(oh, by the way, the Ascendent knows Infernal as a default language. Bc it's born from an Infernal rite.)
The Ascendent is now default neutral evil, and feeling some kind of way. Rosalie and him break up. He's supposed to have everything, but the one thing he thought was a done deal - his most stalwart suppporter - just rejected him.
Netherbrain defeat (the Ascendent is not invited. Imagine being an all-powerful, hypersexual survival instinct vampire, and your ex-girlfriend neither wants you for sex, nor your power.)
Rosalie accidentally binds the Ascendent (a soulless devil) in a pact demanding that he never kill anyone, when that's literally what the Ascendent's new existence/new default moral alignment is driving him to do. Then, she fucks off and goes into hiding.
Well. The Ascendent can just get another wizard, to help him learn all of Cazador's secrets to cope [Hemlock is recruited].
The years go by! The Ascendent is doing sooooo well. Everything is great, guys! I'm rich, I'm beautiful, I have lavish parties and lots of sex - why do I feel nothing? I'm a vampire perfected - I have no hunger for blood, I can walk in the sun, I can enjoy all the freedoms of a living, breathing man - why do I feel like I'm starving? Why does everything turn to ashes in my mouth? I have friends - oops, I've sabotaged all those friendships with my innate neutral evil destruction. Why can't I feel anything? What's wrong with me? I'm doing everything right? Why doesn't it feel that way?
Also, I can't kill anything to feel better about it, because my hidden ex-girlfriend bound me in a pact.
In this time, to reflect the gradual degradation of the Ascendent's happiness and it's increasing awareness that it is something Other and innately wrong, the reflection starts going weird. Starts going strange. Starts getting a bit fucked up. Almost as if, when he looks in the mirror and sees a person, *nothing* should be what's there. Imagine being a spawn who couldn't see your reflection, and then a vampire who could see it's reflection, but knows that they're innately empty. Knows there's nothing there. I'd freak out a little bit about it as well tbh, I'd go a bit tooth and claw and elongated jaw about it.
The Ascendent finally admits that's there must be something kinda fucked about it. Life just ain't working out, lads. He starts looking for any and all impossible cures that will help with the malaise in his soul (and that innate essence problem, caused by default moral alignment). These include: more bad decisions, such as a house in Cania bc the Ascendent is hoping he'll feel more at home with devils than he does with mortals. All it does is make him feel more isolated and alone.
But eventually, he settles on two things! - Wish (Hemlock's idea), and Rosalie (the Ascendent's idea). Clearly, we just need Rosalie back! Her leaving is actually what fucked him up in the first place - none of this existential bullshit! She fixed us one, she can fix us again.
But looking for Rosalie hasn't worked out. In order to get a shot at her, the Ascendent goes and bargains for his own soul from Mephistopheles. Mephistopheles, adding a new sheet in excel titled 'what the fuck happens when i give this soulless monster a soul to play with?', agrees and starts tracking his new data.
Obviously, just putting the soul back in yourself will fix you. But the Ascendent, the nothingness living inside Astarion's body, will die. Taking the soul back would erase itself. The Ascendent - who is survival instinct personified - would never do this.
So instead, it starts interviewing and cannibalising the soul. Bc a soul is what it needs, this is the closest it's ever felt to being alive. Bc it's made this all about Rosalie, he thinks he's found his solution. The chase is making him feel alive again. It's true love, lads! not the soul.
Wish auction happens - the Ascendent is beaten to the punch by some unknown (hot) wizard.
This avenue cut off, the Ascendent makes the decision to try and win Rosalie back.
Astarion advises that to make her come back to the Gate, he should murder a bunch of people. Because this comes from the soul, not the soulless devil nothingness, it circumvents the pact.
...The events of Pieces begin!
・゚: ✧・゚: ・゚: ✧・゚:・゚✧:・゚・゚✧
And finally - the Ascendent tries to destroy Jar!Starion for many reasons in Chapter 19:
The Ascendent knows that it dies, if the soul and the body get reunited (or is that constant high alert survival instinct just no longer needed, because the problem is fixed? you decide.)
The Ascendent values Tav above itself. Tav is going to fix them. Astarion believes he could never fix himself.
Dissociation - that soul isn't me. I'm here, looking at my soul. If I get too close, it'll kill me.
Self-hatred - that soul isn't me. That man made a mistake, and I've had to live with the consequences. He doesn't deserve to live, for what he's made me become.
The knowledge that Rosalie/Tav will only ever want that version of him, not the one that's living and breathing, that sees itself as the most wretched, fucked-up version of itself. So... give them no choice. They have to deal with me and love me at my worst.
And if the Rite didn't work - if the version of the Ascendent walking around isn't the best one, and the one people want... what was it all for? Why does the Ascendent feel like this? Why does it have to suffer?
・゚: ✧・゚: ・゚: ✧・゚:・゚✧:・゚・゚✧
....And, that's my little meta post! If anyone has any questions about the timeline or any motivations at any points in the fic, I'm obviously more than happy to explain things via ask/comment, as always!
TLDR: I just wanted to make a Gothic horror. I wanted a dark romance, fucked up obsession vampire/mortal dynamic, but I also wanted a situation that was scary for both Astarion and my Tav. I personally think an Astarion who is so dissociated and separate from reality that he feels that in his bones daily, is scary. It's the lingering impact of the traumas the Rite and those 7,000 souls embodied.
I was literally just trying to make it a horror, for everyone involved.
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Text
Hobie x Isekai!Reader
[Reading Between the Lines]
WEEOO WEEOO Platonic Fic Idea WEEOO WEEOO
Hobie x Reader Isekai fic where the reader (me) is a Spider-man meta-analysis writer and they fall into the ATSV universe.
They meet Hobie and are completely starstruck, unable to speak. Flabbergasted. Uhh okay imma just do the intro "Hi, My name's Hobie, Hobie Brown. I was bitten by a-"
"...WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW YOU GET WHAT I MEAN!! And for the last three years I've been the one and only- *proceeds to do his whole intro for him*."
"What the fuck. Those are my lines. Bruv cut that shit out wth."
Everyone thinks they're weird as fuck, but Gwenpoole (and other Nexus beings) are taught about at The Society at least, so it's not a mystery why they are the way they are.
But they're just SO META
They're basically bouncing and they tell Hobie 'OMG, your like my favorite superhero. I write about you ALL THE TIME- Ignore the OC folder'
Hobies like 'I'm not a hero-'
'I knew you'd say that!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!'
All of a sudden there's this huge Hobie groupie fan in the group that knows everything about them and their trauma 😭😭
The reader sees Gwen and is like '.......I know this isn't my place but I've read through the scene between you and your dad and I have some comments I'd like to make. I can leave out the ones where I wish him death.'
There's even a scene like this one between Miles and Gwen
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Where Hobie is like 'oi this your analysis book lemme see-' only to open to dozens of pages of x-reader fics and Hobie x OC drawings
And reader is like
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'Uh.... I ain't write that. I don't know how that got in there. That's not even my handwriting. I found that notebook actually 😭😭'
Meanwhile Hobies like 'Christ - how much time do you have on your hands 🤨🤔'
'....Is it that bad?'
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'Oh I ain't say it was bad. Could use a some work though. Actually- *takes out Noir's reading glasses (which he stole) from his pocket because he's not gonna stand here and judge a book by its cover*'
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Of course Hobie still reads the x-reader cause he's a cocky bastard.
And then he returns said fics covered in red pen and notes of 'I wouldn't do that-' or 'actually you should add this. This would be better.' or even 'Lemme do it. That other shite you wrote don't make no sense'
BASICALLY HELPING CONSTRUCT FICS ABOUT HIMSELF. Simply because he finds the concept hilarious.
He gets to the smut and he's like "How easy do you lot think I am? Think you can have a pass at me, you must be taking the fucking piss-" just ranting and raving as he STILL READS IT
Sitting there with a cup of tea reading smut of himself and covering it in red pen like it's the mornings crossword 😭😭
The crew eventually realize that the readers power of trope analysis crosses over and it's SO USEFUL
All they need to do is get reader in front of Miguel and reader gives him a heartfelt reading and connection of his trauma that equals the culmination of ten years of therapy
They're like 'i know this is all an act Miguel. I know this is all an act to cover up the crushing feeling of chaos and helplessness that comes from canon. And really, all of this is just a mirror - you wanting to control how things 'should be' because there were so many things you went through that you think shouldn't have. But those moments are apart of you-'
Miguel's likes 'WAIT WOAH STOP TALKING'
They start bringing up Gabriel and Xina and shit from the comics.
Everyone's like 'Who the hell is Gabriel-" meanwhile Miguel is on the floor sobbing going 'mi hermano. mi hermano pequeno 😭😭😭'
And it ends with them all hugging Miguel after this person just read him for filth using the power of Isekai Canon Knowledge
I'm having TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS
In the end Reader and Hobie become best friends because they both stand out so much in other universes and both take nothing entirely serious.
Plus they're both really perceptive and nosey and good at reading people so sometimes they see some subtle shit go down and they look at each other like
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"We minding our business~ 😩🎶🗣️ we ain't gon say shit~ We gon mind our goddamn business 🎤🎸🔈'
Ok ok I'm done I'm done 😭😭😭
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