#WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE TROUBLE WITH THEM

[snail-scholar]

i don't care how funni haha bkub april fools! this event is, whoever did this ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE EVENT I FINALLY GET TO HAVE ONE(1) MIKA CARD NEEDS TO DIE BY MY HANDS

#enstars #snail is enstarsposting again #DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA #HOW HARD IT IS TO DO THE ARROWS #ON SPEED 9 #WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE TROUBLE WITH THEM #ON R E G U L A R NOTES?! #HAVING 2WINK'S BIG ASS FACES GRIEVING MY COMBOS IS HELL #AND I DON'T EVEN GET TO ACTUALLY HEAR THE SONGS AS A CONSOLATION PRIZE?! #IT'S ALL WOOF WOOF NOW #IT GETS OLD AFTER THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OKAY #I JUST WANNA HEAR SILENT OATH PLEASE JUST LET ME HEAR STIPPLING #BUT NO #it's all woof now #i still like mao's 'weeee~su!' #he has 'i love this boy' privilege #but all the other notes need to die #SOME PEOPLE WANT TO DO THE EVENT LINDSAY #i am actually deranged #i just want free mika points that's all i want #just let me have my 100% fever and no one gets hurt.

[dennisboobs]

to be completely honest, I don't want macdennis in this finale at all. i want den's plot to stay his own. i want the gang to understand just how much they rely on dennis, and how the pressure is finally wearing him down. dennis' inability to escape these high expectations from all of them. of the responsibility that he hates so much. this has been a part of his plotlines for years, and now he can't even take a day trip to the beach without the gang calling him for dumb shit. he's expected to be there to help the gang whenever they need him, but will they be there to help him?

#i know everyone was going insane about frank vs russia for the macden shit but like. have y'all seen the seeds planted in that ep. #mac needs dennis to help with his relationship troubles #charlie needs dennis to help find the restaurant buzzer #dee needs dennis to get her phone back #and he just wants to be left alone #thats why he created johnny. he just wants to relax and have time to himself #and you look back at chokes. #he can't rely on anyone. he wants them to *actually* be there for him when he's sick or in danger #and then you look back at dee gives birth... #like its. a constant #the gang doesnt see him as needing their help. he's dennis. #he's got no feelings. he's fine on his own. he pushes them away because he's afraid of showing weakness but he wants them to care #ada speaks #i dont think its a coincidence that i can already tie things to misses the boat #responsibility. responsibility. responsibility. #thrust into the position of caregiver. #sunny sweet 16 #iasip

[adelinamoteru]

the problem with jason’s writing post resurrection is that like. you spend all this time while he was gone building up these batfam characters and their views and morals and way of interacting with each other and their world. and then you bring back this one character who’s been dead for however long, but an insanely long period of however long, and you’ve made it so his worldview has become drastically different than what he was being taught. then you dump the antagonist route completely and start trying to figure out how to bring him back into the fold.

but once again, you’ve spent around 15yrs expanding these characters separately from jason todd. so what do you do? you mold and reform what jason is meant to be post resurrection until he fits into those standards. its what makes sense to do. how can you justify the batfam characters doing an almost complete 180. maybe a 90. on their views purely because of one character? purely because of jason todd when nothing has set ever been able to set that change in motion beforehand? so now jason has to be the one to change. except the change completely contradicts all the beliefs he’s formed in his post resurrection plot-line.

and now jason todd as a character becomes bland. he becomes a victim to bad writing and character assassinations. he’s wishy washy. nobody knows what to do with him so his character and the characters he interacts with only continue to suffer as a result. everybody begins to stop taking him and his stances seriously. all because you’ll never remove him from the sources that led to the origin of jason todd.

a batfam character away from batfam? well now why would the writers ever think to do that!

#jason todd #dcu #red hood #dc #dc meta #it’s aggravating like #you bring back and hes put into this role— into being a foil and bringing stellar contradictions to the norm— and then u realize that would #Be too much of an upset to the world u’ve already built and the status quo u’ve already held #So u toss him in the gutter and keep cutting him up to fit into that norm #And as a result his character suffers his writing sucks and absolutely zero positive changes in his relationships have occured #LET THE LITTLE BIRDY FLY AWAY FROM ITS NEST #already jason has trouble finding writers that like him #and now u want those writers to develop batfam characters in a way where they have to actually acknowledge some of jasons points? #its like telling them to shoot a dog dead #except that dog was robin jason and they actually gladly did it #and also all of this is a part of the reason why fanon reconciliations are handled the way that they are #both the writers and the fandom just dont know how to write development on the side of batfam minus jason #Its never been done before!! Not when it comes to THE rule and THE percieved legacy of jason todd the dead robin #how would they change? how would u write it #THEY DONT KNOW HOW #its literally never been seen before #How do u resist the system ur boxed in 😭😭😭

[deiaiko]

#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

[oathtorn]

// sometimes I think about how many times in bg3 you get conflicts that don't have an objectively "best" outcome. I think about freeing the 7000 vampires, for example. Freeing them is the ethical thing to do, because they are all innocent victims, but it remains true that leaving thousands of vampires loose, even in the underdark, is a bad bad idea. Not only are they traumatized people, but they're predators who have only their instincts to help them survive in an unfamiliar land that isn't exactly bountiful in terms of wildlife. If they don't do well, they'll die or be slaughtered, and if they do they'll ruin entire communities or ecosystems, depending on whether they feed on people or animals.

#i was thinking again of that line minthara says about how the patriars should have the refugees work for them and have them defend the city #and tav is like 'um that's slavery you're describing?' #and she's like 'call it what you want but would you rather have them die of starvation stuck outside the city walls?' #and i mean the player doesn't have much to say in that matter but there is still a complex situation being presented with no easy solution #because bg has been the destination for refugees for a long time already #like it was already in a state of crisis after the descent when many people who could not return to their homes #massively started to arrive to the gate #right when their duke was gone and left the city without a ruler and the military without a leader #now the government is even WORSE and so is the refugee situation since they're now coming from everywhere #it is painfully true that the guild is still the only truly functioning organism in the city #and they're also having trouble with the absolute #like bg objectively doesnt have the space or the means to sustain the refugees #the patriars may #but in the end gold cant feed a family either #but eating the rich does sound like the most sensible option still- #ooc #the only objectively good ending i think is if you could leave the githyanki egg with lae'zel #also i think of the quest zevlor gives for killing kagha #which sounds like a sensible option when he says it but it prompts the grove massacre #but you can explain it to halsin and he understands that they forgot their principles and attacked defenseless refugees #and you merely defended yourself and them #then again if you look in the right places you can see dialogues suggesting that the refugees are indeed damaging the grove #like chopping trees without the druid's consent #so. #yeah i just have a deep appreciation for some aspects of the game's writing #that show there often isn't an objectively best choice #and you are just doing your best with the information you have and what your morals dictate

[arklay]

DIANA x ALBERT WESKER / template.

#mine. #pair: ewskers #oc: diana #click for better quality ♡ #posting this before i start changing more things lmao but yes i went nuts and made my own psd from scratch... don't look at me #changed ages to birth years cause of how much time passes in the story!! and also gives cheeky fc for you hehe runs away #the checkboxes make me scream like he almost had a clean sweep it's so funny. and he could've had one more i'm not even joking. cause their #first kiss was technically both of them... like idk how to explain this but they were already standing close then diana moved even closer #and was tracing his jaw and such and they were just lingering while holding eye contact but he was the one who actually closed the distance #so i mean... yeah. she was just about to and he beat her to it!! but diana made the move to get them into that position in the first place #is what i mean. i just couldn't give him more it was already too hilarious lmao #can't tell if i like the lil icons but i can't doodle so peace and love on planet earth but yes i'm happy with how this came out hehe #clueless levels are cause they are clowns <3 i have a lot of thoughts about all that but yes they both take hints in some aspects but i #think they both have trouble telling if they are genuine or not or if they are misreading the situation or whether something is romantic or #not (unless ofc it's over the top and ridiculous. ahem. excella. cough. explodes her with my mind) but yeah hit him with the tism so he's #learnt how to read people very well as he's gotten older but i think when it comes to actual just genuine like wanting to get to know #someone and not just someone wanting to get in his pants he seconds guesses it a lot. and diana's all stems from being rattled by her past #experiences oughguhh and i mean her not actually having experienced proper feelings for someone until him lmao but she's got trust issues #also there were so many tropes i could use (thank you to bestie elliot for helping me finds names of things) but i had to do i got you a #drawer specifically because that moment has such a special place in my heart!! like i need to finish the wip where i talk about that cause #it makes me so silly i'm not even joking #anyway omg i hope the mentions work because doing this on the legacy editor after copying the html for beta one because the image just #didn't want to work in the beta image for some reason rip

[donnatroyyyy]

Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.

#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father #but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage #years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be #robin Bruce wouldn’t want him #and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him #and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and #and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin #and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’ #and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and #maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’ #or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’ #and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill #rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why #can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’ #and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati #anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’ #now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it #would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen #a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a #weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’ #his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a #‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it #and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication #but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up #for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice #maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back #oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like #that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and #also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’ #then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers

[uefb]

Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing I can escape into writing Scamander brother repartee. (18k words from the current posted point in Head Under One Wing…)

#I love them your honor #newt Scamander #Theseus Scamander #Scamander brothers #autistic newt scamander #the italics are bc AAC basically #because I headcanon newts dad worked with a buddy to come up with an enchanted parchment system when newt was a kiddo #and was having trouble communicating traditionally & in certain social situations #I’m heavily projecting of course bc I just got in trouble when I wouldn’t talk in public or quit being able to speak #and I think I’d have had a lot less stress growing up if my mom had been like ‘it’s not illegal for you to sometimes talk another way’ #but anyway - the context of it for this scene outside me occasionally using fic for therapy is #that newts had a bit of a shutdown due to extreme emotional & physical stress and is having trouble verbally communicating #his elderly father came to visit him & brought him one of those charmed parchments from when he was like 7 #and Newt refused it at first and then gave in — and theseus has rolled w it as if nothing has happened #but this scene is a heart to heart between the two brothers #about tina #but I’ve spoiled enough abt the second half of this story so I’m going to shut the fck up now #damn it I wish I was done with chs #12/13 slash 14/15 #I have so many of the sequels already started but this boring ass fluff chapter is killing me #(not the *excerpt* chapter — the sweet newtina chapter I’m currently stuck on) #ok fluff isn’t boring but it’s also not my strength ok? #I relate to Newt for a reason #anywayyyyyyy #uefb rambles in the tags #my stuff #fic: with its head under one wing

[skitskatdacat63]

you don’t have to post this but i just want you to know i totally relate i rbed an ask game post today and got no asks :/ it sucks even if it’s just a silly little tumblr game

Yeahhhhh :(( I'm glad I'm not alone, anon. This made me feel a bit better, so thank you <3

#I feel pretty lonely in general atm #and it's not fun when you try to make an attempt to get out of your shell and it just. Doesn't do anything. #I already feel weirdly desperate for attention when I reblog those #like it's one of those things that still make me feel weird for some reason #And it doesn't help when you feel like you don't get acknowledged #again im probably being super whiney rn but #i feel like im having trouble attracting interest? is that bad to say? idk :/ #i just wanna talk about anything and i just have trouble finding ways to get people to engage ig #thats not to blame anyone at all. i just dont know how to get that :') #its just a weird thing to kinda feel like youre losing your footing like this #ughhhh sry i sound so insecure #but idk. i wanna talk about art and such. or get peoples opinions or questions. #but I just dont even want to reblog them bcs it makes me feel emptier than not reblogging #and you see other people's blogs and theyre getting a lot of asks and idk what to do in that situation #they deserve those asks and im very glad for them but like. am i doing smth wrong :/ #my constant insecurity is that im being annoying. and unfortunately things like this just make me feel like people are fed up w me ig #SORRY AGAIN. its my blog i can complain ik that. but still. am i being whiney idk #catie.asks.

[villainsidestep]

anyway now that we’re awake again. thoughts on fawn’s Definitely Not unrealistic idea of how family relates to forgiveness

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #the post is asking in a rhetorical way but also if u Do have an answer feel free to give it lmao BUT ANYWAY #our personal thoughts. headcanons if u will. abt our own oc. #fawn who gives unending love and forgiveness to their brothers not bc they’re unaware of the possibility of them holding grudges against #them for it but bc fawn who learned from north that the two ways you can feel abt someone is either good or bad !!!! #when you are good and people are happy w you then that is good !! it means you are worth something !!! #but when you are bad and they are unhappy with you. that is when the trouble begins !! that is when they hit you and hurt you and #let you know that you’re nothing !!! you’re useless and a reject and only usable as a tool !!! #tools can be replaced. it doesn’t have to be You. and river has proven that enough already even before you lost value #v3 fawn who doesn’t expect chen or the ortegas or anyone else to rescue them bc they consider themself no longer usable to them #but their brothers. if they’re alive they’d help them. if they’re alive then fawn will help them back. bc they love them. trust them. #bc they only want to ever be good towards them. they don’t want to be bad or have them be bad back #but. if their brothers are bad to them. if they abandon or replace or kill them. fawn will forgive them. #bc if they don’t have them then what’s the point of having survived losing them the first time?

[tsukasageorge]

Day 18: Character Design/Ref

remember my magical girl oc named kyrie? yeah i have another one

oh my god this gave me so much trouble for literally no reason. i liked this design when i initially sketched it out but drawing it again made me kind of hate it?????? i literally have no idea whats going on in this design and also their face looks wrong but its okay bc its done now

~2hr 15min???

#raey draws #xchallenge #raey oc #'it doesnt have to be good it just has to be done' is probably the best mindset you can have as an artist imo #cause if you're an artist you'll probably never be Good. and i dont mean that in a bad way #your art will always be beautiful and have value no matter what. what i mean is like #you will almost always have higher expectations for yourself than you can realistically achieve no matter what your skill level is #and on one hand that's good bc it pushes you to keep going and keep improving #but it's also really really discouraging because your expectations grow With your art skills and sometimes it feels like you'll never be #An 'Actually Good' Artist #basically what im trying to say is. you have to make bad art. its literally impossible for you to only make good art. #making bad art is whats gonna make you able to make good art #anyways since this gave me so much trouble im going to talk a little about kye as a treat #their real name is kyrie but since they're already besties with a different person named kyrie everyone calls them kye #(everyone actually calls them jorts) #kye does own pants that are not jorts. HOWEVER they are committed to an incredibly stupid bit #and will refuse to wear anything but jorts when in front of other people #kye saturn and kyrie are all best friends (plus mac but its gonna be 5 years before i design him) #kye and kyrie are gym bros and have some deep soulful bond that transcends time or whatever (they have the same name) #kye and saturn are the 'cant stand her fake ass!! 10 mins later: me and the bestie' meme #kye and mac are not really Best Friends outside of their friend group but they kind of understand each other on some deep subconscious leve #cause they had similar childhoods + cause of death #ok thats it bye

[todayisafridaynight]

i was playing about dropping Fifty Drawings onto everyone's dashboard this week but the unfortunate reality is i am in fact being assaulted with images

#snap chats #this is what happens when i go on three hour walks i guess #might abandon some but i will spitball the ones on the forefront of my brain.. #more for my sake so i dont fuckin forget cause I Am Starting To Forget Already dont read if. you dont want spoilers ??? #not y7 spoilers. or i mean i GUESS there'll be y7 spoilers but i mean for my psts. i guess. only i care about that ANYWAY #i wanna draw a comic of aoki getting SOME kind of butterfly memorabilia or something with him and butterflies #i Was having a chortle with myself about Like A Butterfly but i was also like... Yk Butterflies Still Are About Rebirth #lame as hell ik but shut up anyway next one i wanted to do was Troubled Teen Jo getting in a scrap with arakawa #idk if i want this to be AFTER arakawa's become a father or not.. im still chewing on exactly what i want the direction of it to be.. #i have an IDEAAAA just.. nothing concrete yet.. #and then the one i wanted to see if i could do tonight was Beach Day With The Arakawas :) Cause IDK <:) #i really dont know.. for some reason i just got visions of them three at the beach.. maybe its cause of tonbi idk... #though the more i thought about that idea the longer it got and the more i was like 'maybe i can turn this into a fic instead' #a terrible sentence cause generally i never get anything done when i say that but it'd fr be too long to make a comic of #so at least for now maybe ill make a short fic.. just tryna figure if i want a jo or arakawa pov #i always think of jo's pov so i wanna challenge myself with arakawa. i always focus on jo and his pov of 'becoming a father' #but sometimes i also really wanna explore arakawa's pov on jo becoming another parental figure for masato. or smthn like that idk #ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got... #bye bye for now ill be in the kitchen (google docs) if anyone needs me..

[saetoru]

ok if there are any artists out there who do comms can u like help me understand why there are no refunds for upfront payments even if you have not started the work at all ????

#like i am. very much struggling to understand why if someone has paid u and then #before u have even started the work #if they cancel #u cannot return the money to them ??????? #i do not understand and i do not think i will ever understand. not that its happened to me but im very curious why tf thats a common rule #what is the purpose of keeping money for something u have not even done and is perfectly cancel-able #like its one thing when u have already started and are mid project ofc. then i def understand that u have spent time and effort and u shoul #be compensated for that. but if ur rules are 'no refunds whatsoever after payment' like im struggling to understand why if someone pays you #and a day later. like before u have even started the comm. why cant they cancel and have their money back if they decide to ?? #perhaps if u do slots and they took up a slot so now u have to go thru the trouble of reopening that one slot and getting another customer #i would understand like a fee for cancellation and then returning the money after keeping a fraction #but #just no refunds whatsoever after payment ??? for a comm that hasnt even been started ?????? #idk maybe im just not understanding something from the artists perspective or something here and if so someone help me understand #but i literally cannot wrap my head around it and until someone can offer me a valid reason why this rule is set in place i rly honestly #think its a bit insensitive to other peoples money and possible situations that may arise that might make them cancel a comm due to like #an emergency

[revenantghost]

Oh no... When you post a fic and it does well enough that you make it a multichapter but that first part was a fluke ahhhhhhhhhh

#I never get more than two comments or so on my weird-ass fics #So I was SHOCKED to get more #And I have trouble with motivation because by the end of a multi-chapter #No one's reading #BUT I THOUGHT I MIGHT BE GOOD #BUT OH NO IT'S AS BAD AND BORING AS I THOUGHT IT WAS #I see a couple comments in my inbox but I think those are good friends #And I feel bad like they're OBLIGATED to read #I'm afraid to look and read them tbh #And I know you only get less interaction as a fic goes on #Oh no I dared have a bit of confidence in myself and it BACKFIRED #WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF #I have the next chapter already written but... oh boy motivation will be fun #I feel bad I turned it into a bland multichapter instead of leaving it as-is RIP #Well at least it has the most kudos out of everything I've written when it was a one-shot? #That's cool #OKAY I NEEDED TO RAMBLE onto the acceptance stage of grief now ignore me #(I have a lot of bad experience from sharing my work and it's especially hard when I care about it that's all) #Yadda yadda

[xviruserrorx]

I will say one of the funniest parts of this last hospital stay was accidentally frazzling my nurses and doctors on accident

#first i was told to name all my diagnosis so i did and then when they were on poke number 3 for IV access #i suddenly remembered i had epilepsy XD #and so i was like 'oh! i forgot i have epilepsy!' and my nurse gave me the most DONE expression ive ever seen #their was a doctor that was in their that knew me too and she went 'oh yeah you do huh?' and wrote it down XD #then when i was going under for my procedure i had to have multiple different meds before hand as well as precautions in place #and so everyone was running around trying to get these meds and then when they were wheeling me back #we once again forgot about my epilepsy XD and the nurse notice and she was like 'wait you have epilepsy! did you get that med' #and so that happened but then once we got in the operating room they had pushed the anesthesia already but they were bickering back & forth #going 'get her on her back' 'no he likes them being on their sides' 'no thats the other doctor' 'is it?' 'i think it depends' #*walks over and looks at my chart again* *other guy hands me mouth piece to put in* *other guys walks back over* #'do you have trouble breathing on your back' *me with anesthesia already pushed and in my system* 'hwell ow at i an-' #*realizes mouth piece is still in my mouth and removes it so i can talk* 'oh yeah i tend to d-sat at night when i sleep' #*nurses realizing im going under finally* 'get her on her side! get her on her side!' #and then i blacked out XD #i love pre-op so much just because its so hilarious with what happens #virus rambling #anyways sometimes the hospital is fun the staff makes it homey and fun

[aeolids-zenith]

i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless

#space chirrup #idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me #i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted #possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful #(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't) #i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that #but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests #i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy. #but i don't want that with someone i don't know already. #but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general #does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am #bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a #plan i could just do it without medication #but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg #ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night #people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral #like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for #and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it. #though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll