#YEAH BABY IT'S THAT TIME ONCE AGAIN

[hauntedpearl]

s12 destiel from dean's perspective is explanation enough for why dean is sooooo insane after that season. like.

- first he almost kills himself for the greater good or whatever and has to come to terms with like. dying. on purpose. and then he is given the gift of life but before he can be like yay! i can go home! his mom is back from the dead??? and his brother is missing???

- then his mom leaves him bc she wants to figure out who she is and even tho he's like a 38 yo man it fucks w him a lot understandably.

-they get arrested and put in SOLITARY for a while and when they finally get out and meet cas again (at which point dean has once again come to terms with dying for the greater good but also mostly his mom and brother this time), he KILLS THE REAPER THEY MADE THE DEAL WITH AND GETS ALL EMOTIONAL??? after which he proceeds to fuck off bc he is Busy™ tracking lucifer etc.,

- then they get a lead and CAS ALMOST DIES IN FRONT OF HIS EYES and throws an I love you in his goodbye speech for the lolz. which. hahaha. anyway cas lives but turns out his mother — with whom he's trying to connect so badly so he can achieve full Normalcy — was like. lowkey responsible for his almost death. so they're fighting now.

- cas receives a divine voicemail from his close friend and colleague and then they go on that case with Lily sunder and ISHIM BEATS CAS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL HIM and even after they beat him Lily Sunder is like. I'm gonna go do some soul searching and if im in the mood I'll come back and KILL YOU. THREAT. and cas is like 😔 fair. so you know.

- there is also an instance of him losing his memories which is scary. and it's like. being intimately familiar with that experience is. something else. as a memory loss girlie let me tell you 👍🏽😄

- and then!!!!! lucifer's unborn child mind melds with his wifehusband — once more in front of his own two eyes — and "manipulates" him into running away with the pregnant lady instead of staying and Figuring Out A Solution. and when they finally do find cas, they are with them for all of 12 hours before HE DIES. FORREAL THIS TIME. AND LIKE THAT'S IT. NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE!

this is not an exhaustive list bc i don't remember everything but. like you know. he was primed to get worse and worse. all things that happen in s12 are out of his control but they are also things that happen in front of his eyes, and in ways that make him think that perhaps he did have control over them and he did fuck up some way and he *should* have done something to change the course of their lives so he's filled with guiltshame about it. and he decides that the solution to not losing anyone in the foreseeable future is to just. Control Every Possible Aspect Of Their Existence. which is impossible and that's why he gets mad all the time but YOU KNOW. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE'S CRAZY. poor s12 dean man.

#doe is talking again #just thinking thoughts #i MISS S12 BTW #EVERYTHING WAS SOOOO RIGHT #and then </3 #also this is my bias against s13 showing bc i think it's STUPID #thete i said it idc about narrative importance s13 commits the worst crime of all: its boring as shit #and yeah I've only watched it once but i hated having yo watch it and supernatural WAS my favourite show back then even!! #snd an excuse to spend time with my v close friend!!! SO !!! EVEN THAT couldn't make s13 worth the time 😔 #im also not a big fan of first half of s14 while we're at it. #i think it picks up in the second half thk when thsy start doinf family drama #anyway #ANYWAYSSSS #this is not meta or analysis im just thinking about s12 dean my baby #suicide ment

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering

[distressed-bird]

Kalina is the most interesting character to me because of all she has going on…

she is Cassandra’s familiar, she is simultaneously a pet and a friend and a servant and a family to a goddexx that is simultaneously her owner and friend and creator and parent and her god and reason to be—Kalina’s relationship to Cassandra is hard to put a name or label on (since what does being a familiar even mean?) but the bottomline is that this cat loves her deity enough to put everything and everyone on the line for her…

And adding in that she is a child of divorce. So to speak. I am extremely normal and haven’t been driven mad by the detail that baby itty bitty kitty Kalina was at Cassandra’s wedding to Ankarna and is remembered to have been toddling after her as she walked down the aisle…

Kalina will be the death of me /lh

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #kalina #oh my god and the fact Kalina was there at that wedding—there at the period of time where Ankarna was alive and still a known god and not #presumed dead… this makes the Sylvairean Heresy even WORSE of a life event for Kalina and Cassandra… #the existence of baby kalina implies that Cassandra *raised* Kalina… and the fact they were married means that Kalina wouldn’t have been #raised by only Cassandra but *also* Ankarna. #you are Kalina and one of your parents just was killed by your uncle—their domains were too alike—and you can never talk about them again. #you can never speak their name—share in their memory—the only place they exist is quietly in your memories that must go unspoken due to #Oblivata Mori. And there’s nothing you can do about it… #And then the followers and clerics of your remaining parent start trying to kill her—being mislead by the followers of your goddexx’ sister #Cassandra is the only family Kalina has left—and Kalina’s sentience leds me to think she agreed to become a Curse #kalina let herself be unmade and changed to keep Cassandra alive… and even as the shell of herself—a familiar once but now a living plague— #is so deeply loyal and only interested in what is to the benefit of her *everything*… even if they are currently a Walking Corpse. #Kalina dislike Kristen so much because Kristen is just not being a good cleric and is in the precarious spot of being Cassandra’s only #follower… but ultimately won’t harm or attack Kristen—killing herself first—because Kristen is the only one keeping Cassandra uncorrupted. #yeah im crazy about the relationship and history between a cat familiar and her witch goddess and the layers of their relationship

[schmweed]

#David Tennant #Alec Hardy #Ellie Miller #Broadchurch #my gifs #Aww! Look at her TINY but FOND baby smile at his sass #He's growing on her #I love how she just... ACCEPTS him. Yeah she'll express disbelief at his weirdness #but it's always only the first time she comes across it #then she accepts it fully and simply works not just to ignore it #but ACTIVELY completes him. Remember the scene with Finley's last day? #He forgets Finley's name AGAIN in the same conversation? She nearly rolls her eyes but quietly reminds him of the name with no judgment #All he manages for a colleague leaving is well-done or good job #She makes sure to give him sass and go 'He'll be overjoyed' but she doesn't rail or mock him. #In S3 she simply tells him she thinks he should apologize to Brian #but that's it. She doesn't berate him or go on about it later #She tells him to make a cup of tea and holds his gaze and he goes and makes it and that's it. #Even when she goes 'Every time' later she still drops it at once as soon as he has sth else to talk to her about. #How much do you want to bet that she is one of the first ppl Alec Hardy has met who just... ACCEPT him? #Fully and without reservation? Just as he is? Aww those two. <3

[magma-cjay]

"What are you hiding under your foot?"

#my art #risotto nero #jojo #la squadra #oh yeah baby its redraw time #you know that one scene where hes first talking to Doppio? yeah #once again i change his pose and angle bc the original scene feels so awkward for me to draw #but i like this he is so fruity #ive had alot of fun drawing Risotto lately #not gonna lie #his eyes are so fun

[birdcatt]

random doodles of Them, just me trying to get a thought or 2 out

#art tag #pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd #pokemon #oc: emerald (pmd) #oc: bronze (pmd) #oc: leaf (pmd) #tbh. leaf is goin thru it #ive converted leafs vulpix partner into Accidental Child Acquisition #shes trying so hard to get this child away. the child keeps following her. she cant keep bringing this baby into life threatening situation #and then they part with hurtful words. i need to refine this arc tho #its sounds meh to me rn until i can iron it out #or rework the vulpix. again. or just delete it from the story #she also has a Thing about being an off colour leafeon. really was just the straw that broke the camels back #she was so excited to evolve and be more like grovyle but then shes winter coloured instead #yk when youre crying but also self aware enough to know its stupid? yeah thats what she did #emerald is Also goin thru it but in a different way. but her story follows the base game plot since shes the actual hero #she has a LOT of doubts and thoughts tho. why did her sister steal a time gear. if leaf is workin with grovyle then did she herself know hi #did she once work with leaf and maybe grovyle to steal the time gears????? why??????? if dusknoir knows grovyle then does he know her? #why is he acting like he doesnt know her. wait grov n leaf r criminals from the future? was that also her? #so on and so forth ykyk #vulpix #alolan vulpix #manaphy #glaceon #raichu #darkrai #flareon

[rithmeres]

i still cant believe ronan was an irish dancer it’s like finding out your favorite celebrity graduated from your local high school

#my baby sister got 6th at the western regional oireachtas yesterday and qualified for worlds again. if you even care #OH YEAH AND ONE TIME I MADE A COMPETITION DRESS FOR A GIRL NAMED OPAL LYNCH TF #and then i told mstief about it. i keep forgetting that i met her once. i should dig up my notes from that seminar i bet they are fantastic #trc

[aberooski]

Every day I get 🤏 this much closer to getting out of chapter 1 of Chazzerella.

#when I can actually get myself to sit down and write I actually make progress #who knew? #but no yeah we're getting there #I'm not gonna be a liar about it happening this year like I was last year #chazzerella is happening baby #you gotta wait until it's finished though #but once it's done I can finally officially put OUAD 2 back on the table again 👀 #that's my rule I can't start writing OUAD 2 until chazzerella is finished especially because I mean to do chazzerella last year #and that plan completely fell apart because last year was horrible I'm amazed I could vring myself to write anything #much less finish and release a few things #I also started the mario crossover instead of doing chazzerella that's a nother problem #which remeinds me I need to slog my way through the rest of the next chapter of that #I have a plan I'm just having a hard time actually sitting down and doing it you know? jyst very slow going #the next chapter after that is basically already written though #so I mean that's good I guess akkskks #not that anybody gives a shit about that one other than me anyway #which I mean is fine I'm doing that one purely for me anyway but it still kinda blows #doesn't help me with my slow progress either #but I digress #I have to work tomorrow or I guess technically today so I should probably actually sleep? #we'll see #yugioh gx fanfiction #chazzerella #abby's fanfic writer power hour #abby's insomnia thoughts

[kaymarie-bell]

I feel like I physically cannot shut up about how excited I am for the Diasomnia book. I've been here since all we had was that one Malleus promo pic.

When all we had was the name of the dormitories and the villains they were based on.

I was on the official website everyday refreshing the page to see if they had finally released the characters' profiles.

When the first glimpse we got of the relationship between the Dia boys was that one illustration Yana Toboso made for the release of Maleficent 2.

I was one of the people screaming and crying and throwing up because the Diasomnia students' SR Ceremonial Robes cards didn't even exist yet, so I had to choose Idia as my first card 😭

It took a while but we're finally here 🌻

It's been an honor to experience the journey so far with you guys 🫂

#twisted wonderland #so sorry for posting cringe in the main tag I'm sleep deprived and a bit unstable rn #also a bit emotional ngl #I was told to hold some dude's hand tightly and never let go once and I took it personally #*genlty holds the Diasomnia boys in my hands like a bunch of baby chicks* I love you guys so much #this silly little game got me through my final days of highschool and my first years at uni wth #shoutout to the people who got to pre-register and still play twst to this day #new players I love you too y'all make the fandom livelier it's fun to see people reacting to the stories for the first time again 💖 #yeah I might be a bit tipsy rn also shh #kay shouts into the void

[sukugo]

piggy backing off last anon, if you ever lose Hayden fucking mentality, just watch Ten Minutes of Hayden Christensen Crying

you'll (probably) snap right back into "fuck that twink" mode

HFJSDHSJDHSD nono u're so correct......there's nothing that gets me quite like crying pretty boys.........

#f.ask #fuck that twink mode is always on #it's just the twink that changes djfhdsjhfkds #sometimes the switch for a certain twink might go dormant making way for another one. but they're always there. waiting. pulsing. #just a small trigger needed for the button to be pushed and oops the twink is once again getting fucked. #hjdsjkadj or smth u get it #basically i never stop being insane about any of my boys. #there's just one that i go insane over more than the others at a given time. doesn't mean im not insane over the others. #there's just one making me MORE insane #so sorry anon for all that butl like...yeah.. That basically #currently it's vash.... my baby boy... ma boy...he's my new noncon baby #hayden christensen #perhaps i SHOULD go and watch 10 mins of hayden crying vid.....

[padfootastic]

why is it my lot in life to fall in love with characters who are consistently treated like the scum of earth :(((

#sirius black #tony stark #can’t even trust their fans half the time #why do u have to be apologetic about liking them smh #i don’t see caveats like that for others #‘yeah he’s a flawed man but’ #‘ok he has flaws but so does everyone else’ #ugh shut up shut up stop bringing this up everytime #once again i saw a post where my baby is written like shit for no reason #just to prop up a character who must not be named #like !!! #ugh #pen’s whining

[youssefguedira]

i love writing for diabolik bc half of my ideas are like yes he says this out loud in canon but what if he was LYING about it and it's not even unrealistic

#neon has thoughts #look maybe ive made him into more of a compulsive liar than he already is but i do think. whats that post that's like. characters that are #so inauthentic. yeah #what if YOU spent all your time constructing your identity very carefully but then you finally had someone you could tell the truth to #like. would you actually do it or are you so used to lying reflexively it's just instinctive. not full lies but obscuring parts of #the truth. not always because you don't want them to know but because you yourself don't want to look directly at it #it's probably not that deep! but what if it was #sorry i'm overthinking the character again. yeah it's gonna be all day. yeah #new tag. canon compliant if diabolik is lying #most recent Brain Worms still aren't because i messed with the timeline again. should stop doing that maybe but i do what i want #i just think. in diabolik chi sei hes like i was alone on the island nobody Cared Me. i was just there. and like ok maybe once you were old #enough to wander around by yourself but hes literally a baby when they find him. there must've been someone who looked after him #even if only until he could watch out for himself. you kniw

[munamania]

is it really really stupid to give her the gift. i know she’s not worth it and im making myself feel like shit over and over and i need to stop and it doesnt matter how sad or angry i am about it she’s not just gonna dump him and even if she did i wouldn’t like. want to be the second choice (not that i inherently would be. weirdo dream scenario) and it’s just not gonna affect her much to not see me anymore and i have to be okay with that. and im truthfully not rn but i have to be cause that’s the reality. anyway lost my point there

#like. i just cant imagine class being over monday and just being like. ok bye forever ig. or not rlly saying anything #idk guys im sorry i know ive gone on and on and on nonstop for months #it just sucks #even if i think back to monday like. it's classic baby steps of leading me on and i fortunately for once didnt nip at the bit right away #but just the little ways she looked at me and smiled or joked around. kinda flirty. just for her to yk #post the bereal today and hes in it and its like 'wait let me get a shirt on' so just blatantly fucking yk. didnt even have to do my sleuth #work. and like. i know maybe ive overreacted to a lot of it and over thought it and she really didn't intentionally do a lot of it #and wasn't ever confused or anything and i just told myself that to justify being sooooo bonkers over it. idk #so it's like. with all that in mind. no i should not give it to her i should just walk out of class and not talk to her again #but the wounded part of me the 17 yr old in me is desperately asking why it's so easy for someone to get over me #but she was never into me! or at least not enough yk. she has a boyfriend. and that yk. shouldve been enough #but i got so lost in all these little signs and feelings of tension and #i guess. lol look at me abt to say this. doesnt help to dwell (lol!) but who knows if it was mutual some of those times when it just Felt #tense. yk. or if she just has problems and really liked the ego boost #cause boy did i make it fucking easy to enjoy my attention! and i never ever ever shouldve done all that bc she wasnt mutually engaging #at least not till like. october. and only briefly. and i just. ugh #anyway :( whatever. i know the answer is no. i know it's no i know i shouldnt #but as i was saying. the wounded part of me wishes i could make her feel even a fraction of the hurt or even just fucking regret #but not pity. but regret for being an asshole. if i could just say something as my final word or something and still be dignified #but i just dk how that would happen. so. yeah #hopefully this is one of my runner up last posts about her #film girl saga

[bi-moonlight]

.

#nura rambles #idk somehow it's easier to tap on tumblr post button and type in tags then open the journal and write there #my friend met someone and they r already talking serious topics like marriage and stuff and i'm happy for her but it's also a sign that idk #time is ticking and our lives are progressing and changing #and i am once again filled w anxiety and regret?? and thinking that i missed smth and am continually missing smth lacking smth #and also i finally accepted the idea of it being my choice to stay here and that the moving abroad ambition wasn't mine after all and now #that i'm past that i can see another thing that is and was anxiety fuelling and that's this constant not fear but just silent notion that #if my so in the future happens to be not a man there's a huge possibility of us moving abroad cause i'd want my kids to be able to exist #lmao i'd want to be able to marry my partner #but like it's out of my control rn so why am i worrying about smth that might not even happen and making it a huge problem and isolating #myself even in my thoughts uhhhhhh i haven't realised until now that it's been worrying me constantly tbh #and when i tried telling my mom about my anxiety framing it as time passing worrying me because i think our family's life hasn't changed in #the past 5 years at all and it's depressing and that it shocks me that my friends are apparently soon gonna start marrying and their older #siblings did and are having babies now while i'm a nervous mess only now figured i have sad and lost winter months of past few years to it #and my older brother is apparently stuck has been for 5 years #and my parents aren't getting younger and her takeaway was that i'm thinking of marriage and it terrifies me lol #yeah mom u should think of it when u tell me my character is difficult and wonder how anyone will fit me?? #anyways time isn't real and i think i'm a little baby #this week is so long jfc

[dirt-str1der]

This game is complete bullshit

#Yakuza liveblog #ive been chanting no way no fucking way this whole time listening to the locker baby story deluxe #why was it so convoluted and confusing #and why was his constitution so strong as a baby #oh yeah because he was swaddled like mad .. hm ... god this is ........ #i have no words ...................!!!!!!!! #Thats so stupid ... Theres no way ..... #Wise words and corright reaction once again

[g0reoz]

hm! i don’t think staying up until 11 running beyburst manga screenshots through waifu2x was on the itinerary for tonight !!

#*picks up manga!everyone* these bad boys are so fuckin scrungly #i want to hold them up by the nape of their neck like baby animals. is that like a thing anyone else ks #*is experiencing #goddamn who thought putting the enter key by the delete key was a good idea lmao #anyways. yeah hiro morita sure knows how to make some guys that are Shaped #especially losing my shit over manga!gwynn and kensuke and xhaka. and maybe also phi. character designs of all time <3333 #i do think the whole thing they did with the anime adaptation of xhaka was funny though. like. shoot this bitch with the uwu gun !!!! #i guess they did it with everyone to some extent bc the anime’s art style is just Like That. but this was a super noticeable a #*case of it and i think they mentioned Deliberately Toning It The Fuck Down. lmao #idec i think the manga design was kinda cute. give me that meme template but put ‘baby boy. baby.’ on the top AND bottom #they also kinda made shuu less of a :/ >:| type vibe. which once again alright cool whatever BUT. i think we shouldn’t ignore the value of- #-manga!shu either. #idk i’ve had a lot of thoughts abt this for Awhile but never rly posted abt the manga so!! yeah! #*kicking my legs and scrolling through my camera roll but it’s just beyburst manga panels* #.woof. #beyburst