#a beard as in an actual beard or as in slang

[trashy-tries-writing]

Part 1: In which the first encounter of Ravine leaves unpleasant or pleasant memories for some of our CoD characters with John Price / Gaz Kyle Garrick / Simon Ghost Riley

Part 2: John Soap MacTavish / König

Part 3: with Phillip Graves / Alejandro Vargas & Rodolfo Rudy Parra

(Totally didn’t cloud his head because I can’t draw his customized helmet)

Warning: I know nothing about the military and stuff😭

If I wrote smt that the characters wouldn’t say, please correct me because I don’t know any slang from their nationalities either or point out any mistakes I have made. LET ME KNOW please! So I can fix them. 😰 I’m not a great writer, especially because I live under a rock so don’t expect too much. Feel free to bash me in the comments if I use a bad/forbidden word from your country, I swear I didn’t do it on purpose🙏💦

Let me know if Ravine passes as a xMale!Reader or a xMale!OC  :’))

John Price

Price wanted to leave this hellish place as soon as possible

It was uncomfortably hot that he believed his flesh was oozing down his bones. No one knew what caused this overwhelming heat and the man wasn’t exactly ecstatic to find it out either with the scent of burned flesh hitting him hard on the nose.

Gradually the corpses of the enemy trope increased the deeper he went down the concealed facility. Price grimaces under his breath at the torched faces, skin tissues were burned off which showed the flesh underneath that was still bubbling and sizzling. The blackened chunks of flesh sitting on the ground continued to smolder while what leftover blood turns to steam as it spills from the wound.

Following his gut feeling, Price ends up in a corridor splattered with the blood of the victims he was supposed to spill. Including the objective of this mission, although the label wasn’t plastered on an unmoving, lifeless weapon that Price thought it would when Shepard sent him down in this hellhole.

“Bloody hell- Laswell, I… found the objective.”

The name was plastered on the door of the open cell with a human inside, sitting in front of a pile of corpses that looked like civilians. It- They- were motionless beside the immense heat reeking from its body which left more questions than answers for the bearded man.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Gaz believes Ravine to be a heartless machine.

He watched the masked man run past falling soldiers without wavering in his steps. No reaction as his teammates die before his eyes or struggle until their last breaths. Sees him leave the training room after finishing beating up everyone until exhaustion as they lay on the ground groaning. 

Ravine doesn’t care about anything or anyone, and possibly not even himself. He takes orders after orders, sometimes requesting to solo it, as if a team would only drag him through the mud.

Gaz hears the whispers of hatred towards Ravine, how heartless and cold he is. How rude he is with how he answers with one word only. How unnerving it is to be in the room while he just stands there silently, not knowing where he is actually staring at through his helmet he never takes off.

Ravine doesn’t care about anything.

Gaz believed that Ravine was a heartless machine.

He saw Ravine running to the nearest corpse of their fallen brothers and sisters after the mission was done. The tall male scoops them up like broken glass, aloof at getting soiled or that there are special units to collect their bodies coming later. Ravine makes sure to leave no one behind and pile them together next to each other with their possessions as carefully as one could be, before paying his respects.

Gaz heard the heartless Ravine requesting to solo the missions when he deemed it to be too dangerous for the others as the higher ups know Ravine to be capable enough to do it on his own due to being different from any other existing soldiers, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Gaz noticed the soldier rushing back towards the training room with first aids, water, snacks and towels. He peeked inside to discover a relaxed atmosphere with the recruits chatting to each other tiredly, some drinking from their cup and gnawing on the energybar like hungry bears. They were sitting in a line and at the end was the cold Ravine giving them medical care.

The hateful whispers have turned into harmless jabs, whether it be about a new recruit being in trouble for something small as breaking a plate and pushing that soldier towards Ravine as if he was going to play alongside them.

His limited vocabulary was slowly picked up by them. Instead of saying “Yes”, some have started to respond with Ravine’s “Aye”s towards each other. Each time they couldn’t help grin when they see Ravine slouch even more than he already is from their jest.

“Fuck I’m hungry.” He hadn’t intended to say it so loudly, not that anyone was around to hear Gaz anyways. It was late and cold, he couldn’t wait to duck out and make something to eat and throw himself in bed.

But not even an hour later something warm touches his cheek from behind him and he jolts back in surprise from the warmth. He sees Ravine stepping back just as much, before hiding his body behind the corner, his upper part still sticking out with an arm stretched towards him with a bag.

“...Is that for me?”

“Aye.”

He slowly reaches towards the bag, a familiar smell reaching his nose. Gaz couldn’t help but smile when he opened the package with his favorite food and a thermos inside, his stomach growling loudly in urgency to take a bite.

Turning around to thank the man, his words are lost in his throat when the faceless soldier is nowhere to be seen.

Gaz believes that Ravine is a warm person who loves and cares in his own way.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Ghost had been sent off to capture someone from a hideout. It was supposed to be easy but missions always go astray. What else he didn’t account for was the soldier sent by his superior to wipe them all out on the opposite side of the building. This wouldn’t have been a problem if the soldiers knew of each other’s existences.

One of them needed the target alive, the other came for a massacre.

When they crossed paths, shots were fired and when all bullets were gone, knives were raised. While It didn’t matter who died first, it would not end well with either loss. Weren’t it for the chain of commands voice ringing through both of their coms, the machete would have gone through his arm.

Ravine as Ghost came to know, backed away from him and kept that distance throughout the whole operation. Now that he got the go to kill everyone, the lieutenant saw how efficient the other was. No hesitation, no stumbling, no waiting- Ghost let the silent man do what he wanted, out of curiosity what he could do.

The lieutenant started trusting the newcomer more when Ravine jumped behind him without flinching and threw his chained machete at the enemy targeting his back. With a pull the weapon was back into his hands and his head whipped around,Ghost could mentally hear the snap.

His helmet moved in sharp, short turns at the lieutenant until he realized he was eyeing him for injuries beside the ones he himself inflicted on him a few minutes ago.

“All good Ravine. Let’s move.”

Back at their headquarters, Ghost would find little trinkets in front of the room he was currently occupying with a note stuck on it “I am very sorry for almost murdering you.” He knew immediately who this was from, especially since his ‘murderer’ in question has avoided him like the pest.

At first he thought nothing of it besides not liking him very much which happens anywhere in the workspace. But it got out of hand when Ghost came into the kitchen to get some tea and Ravine straight out jumped out the window.

It was the second floor.

Price had sighed into his palm so loudly, his soul could be seen leaving him. “I corner him and I want you to talk to him. He’s letting the guilt eat him up and I can’t let that happen.”

The captain literally shooed the tall man like a cat into his office with Ghost and held him by the collar of his turtleneck to keep him from leaving. For once Ravine stood at his full height and the lieutenant had to tilt his head up.

“Bloody hell…”

#MW2 #cod mw #cod mw22 #modern warfare ii #call of duty modern warfare #cod #call of duty #taskforce 141 #mw2 scenario #myart #my art #xmale!reader #x male reader #xmale!oc ? #xm!reader #mw2 x male reader #Simon Ghost Riley #John Price #Kyle Gaz Garrick #Simon Ghost Riley x male reader #John price x male reader #Kyle Gaz Garrick x male reader #Am I doing this correctly?😭 #Someone help #I am so uncertain right now #characters OOC?? #cod x male reader

[cakesandfail]

Do you have any headcanons about how Vetinari ended up taking power?

Actually yes I do!

I wrote a fic about his first day in power that vaguely referenced this and while I don't have like, a fully fleshed out story, there are a few bits and pieces that I sort of bodged together from things in the books and what I personally find entertaining about him as a character:

There's a bit in Soul Music which says that there was a rat plague in Ankh-Morpork shortly before Vetinari came to power, and that his solution was "tax the rat farms". It's unclear in context whether this means he suggested it at the end of Snapcase's time in power or if it was one of the first things he did after he became Patrician. I've just gone ahead and assumed that the rat plague was the last straw for Snapcase and that actually having a good suggestion was one of the reasons Vetinari was in people's minds as a replacement

That then leads us to ask, well, what on earth was he doing there? He's been in power a fair while even by Guards Guards but chronologically must still only be in his early 40s by then, to have been in his late teens in the 30-years-ago bits of Night Watch (and he can't be older than that, because it's made fairly clear that he's in the Guild equivalent of secondary school at that time, and Vimes knows that the two of them are approximately the same age). Given his canonically hilariously long list of postgrad qualifications, he probably went straight from Assassins Guild grad school to the Oblong Office, more or less. Conclusion: he was the fucking INTERN. (or possibly working as a clerk, but calling him the intern is at least 500% funnier)

Given the running joke about him being this weird posh dude who doesn't seem like a threat until you remember where he was educated, I would imagine that his whole "ah capital jolly good here I go getting slang wrong again" bullshit started here. We know that among the Ankh-Morpork elite, pretending to be stupider than you really are is something that can both keep you safe and help you get away with a lot, because we see Vetinari and Vimes and Sybil do it. So this is where he got his practice. Bertie Wooster the FUCK out of your working day, quietly get on with the things that need to be done while nobody's looking, and nobody will realise because they just think you're Madam's weird nephew with the shit beard and the puppy

So, bearing all that in mind, picture this:

Snapcase is dead. The important people (at least, the people who think themselves important) converge on the palace. In a small room off the Oblong Office is a young man steadily working through a large pile of paperwork. Oh, yes, that's Madam's nephew, you know... Havelock, isn't it? They ask if he knows what's happened, and he says no, he has no idea, he's just been working his way through all these regulations, and gosh, they really are very dull. And... well... nobody else is here. And nobody else seems to understand the filing system, or the rest of the staff, or anything really. But he does.

This guy's had a few good ideas when he's been doing the minutes at various meetings, that makes him a plausible candidate surely? And he's so young, so he's going to need a lot of guidance from helpful, experienced folks, right? How useful. He's just smart enough not to be an obvious puppet. Very handy indeed.

And the cream of Ankh-Morpork society being what they are (truly the cream- rich and thick) they don't realise until it's far too late that this lanky goth weirdo they'd thought would do their bidding knows everything about everyone and he's been quietly furious about the result of the Glorious 25th for over a decade. And, whoops, they'd somehow forgotten that he didn't spend all of that time on Guild postgraduate courses doing resits. Oh dear. And now he's their boss.

#patricianblogging #i have wanted to go into detail about this for AGES thank you for giving me an excuse

[riches-and-rossi]

,What is a ‘dilf’? Y/N’

- Pairing; David Rossi x Fem!Reader

- Fic type: Romantic, Clean, Fluff, Funny

- Tags: accidental confessions, drunken confessions, sweet Rossi, Y/N is a mess, Hotch wins a bet, slight daddy issues, the team is traumatized.

- Warnings: None,

- Summary: the team goes out to celebrate after a particularly successful case, the girls have an interesting conversation and Y/N has to explain what a dilf is to Dave.

It all started when Hotch mentioned that he and Morgan planned to stop by a bar after work, it was everyone’s day off tomorrow and they couldn’t fly back from New Orleans till morning plus the case had gone shockingly well. Before anyone knew what happened Dave had offered to cover the bill for the whole team, JJ had called Will, and everyone was on their way to the hotels bar no questions asked.

At first things had been calm, everyone ordered a beer, will had recommended it apparently this was his go to back home and it was actually brewed in the bar, it was also eight percent alcohol.

Eventually the guys split off to play pool, Penelope stole a beer from Derek who was completely and utterly plastered and the girls started gossiping by the bar. “He’s cute.” Emily pointed out a guy, nice arms and a nice beard but he couldn’t be older then thirty five, that was still a decade older then you but he was no Pasta Man.

“He’s not really my type.”

“Yeah I agree with Y/N, he can’t compare to that Greek god of goodness.”

Penelope was peering at a stumbling Morgan across the bar earning a quiet ‘awe’ from JJ, he and Will seemed to be ups against each other in a game of nine ball at the moment.

“What is your type?, you’ve been on the team two years and I’ve never seen you date.” JJ took a sip of her beer, god bless her heart for being the only person still capable of standing this far into the night, and Emily and Penelope peaked up in curiosity.

You were to busy starring off at your senior agent, as he fumbled with his wallet trying to buy another round, thinking before you spoke was far to complicated for the moment being.

“Tall, older, handsome. Facial hair is a must and he has to be funny, and experienced, and confident.” Your tone was tooth rottingly sweet and Dave happened to look over, he winked at you playfully holding his beer as if to toast to you across the room and you giggled like a school girl much to your embarrassment.

“Oh my god, Y/N! He’s like fifty three!” JJ was shocked and Emily was cackling at you as you jumped with embarrassment, you weren’t sure if your face was red from the booze or from your life ending slip up on your feelings for the older agent.

“And? It’s not my fault that Rossi is a total Dilf.” Your tone was so self assured but unfortunately Emily and her evil cackle had brought the men back at the worst possible second. Despite the team being profilers, you managed to hide your embarrassing crush well enough, or at least you thought you had up until now.

“I’m a total what?” Speak of the devil, or in this case devilishly handsome Dilf and he shall appear. You wanted to curl up into a ball and die and yet the man looked so genuinely confused at which point he turned to the male half of the team who hadn’t heard and went, “what’s a Dilf?” Before glancing back at you,

“What, is a ‘Dilf’ Y/N?” He wanted answers and you wanted to leap off a tall ledge.

Hotch decided to bite his tongue, Reid looked absolutely perplexed, the girls were dying of laughter and Morgan spat out his drink back into his glass and started chocking. Will looked like he was questioning any life decision that lead him to meeting these people.

“Dilf is popular internet slang, to describe an older gentleman typically one with kids or one that acts like a father figure and is attractive. It’s said to mean ‘dad I’d like to fuck’ if I remember correctly!” It was official, when Reid was sober you were going to gut him, Rossi looked absolutely perplexed and the entirety of the team have a reflexive face palm at Reid’s words “what! Was I not helpful?” The doctor seemed clueless.

“You think I’m a Dilf? Really?” And suddenly Rossi was asking questions you didn’t want to answer and he was doing it in that sexy deep interrogator voice he used on unsubs, god why were you into that? And you were a stuttering mess of confusion.

“Well, uh- I… huh?” Welp, there went your last brain cell. To make matters worse again if that was even possible at this point, the Italian was starring so intensely you felt like you may explode.

“Before we do any Dilf’ing as it implies we should have dinner, I make excellent pasta.” Was he… oh, oh my god.

You nodded cheerfully at the offer, Dave’s Pasta and mind blowing Dilf sex, god bless the drunken delinquency of you and your colleagues.

#david rossi x reader #david rossi #David Rossi moodboard #David Rossi imagine #criminal minds

[tyrianludaship]

dude, i once saw a person who i remember was like a hardcore heavymedic shipper?? say that medic being shipped with female ocs makes him unconfortable because "he's a gay man" and it made me kinda reel in because. that seems a bit weird and lowkey misogynistic innit. mfw im projecting my hcs too hard onto unlabeled characters and insist that my word is law.

(that moment when i forget my headcanon isn't actually canon and now i'm being weird towards people who don't agree with it or follow it /ref)

(serious talk here)

I find it strange when hardcore heavymedic shippers can't even fathom the idea of medic not strictly being a gay man. People can headcanon medic and the other mercs however they wish, but i've seen people denying the possibility of him being bi or pan despite his canon sexuality being ambiguous. Even some saying the only possible way he has a wife if it's like a beard (slang) or to 'hide his homosexuality', which is so asinine.

As someone who is bi / pan, yea; bi erasure is cringe as well as invalidating and it's genuinely surprising how often it happens. Not just in the tf2 fandom but in fandom spaces in general.

#also to note; i do like the heavymedic ship #but some of the shippers do need to behave and understand that their headcanon is not canon #i havent had personal experiences of ppl bothering me over selfshipping w/ medic but i can definitely see it happening #also a mild vent about my sexuality idk #vent #proships dni #not selfship #[just me yapping]

[tokimaeki]

I normally just lurk and read other people's MILGRAM theories while keeping my own thoughts to myself but 😭 Kazui's new song just has my gears turning so much I have to share my opinion......

Between this song and the new voice drama, I think the 'Kazui is gay' theory could have way more credence than I thought.

I think that Kazui pursued his relationship with his wife out of a desire to be 'normal.' When he presents the bouquet and ring to her, the lyrics are: 'it's for the sake of true love / who wouldn't lie for that?' He lied out of a desire for normalcy. Society says that if we conform, fall in love and get married, then we'll be 'happy.' To me, it's likely that he noticed his wife-to-be's feelings for him, and decided to pursue the relationship out of a desire to appear normal, please the people around him-- and perhaps hopefully attain happiness through conformity.  

I'm not 100% sure if Kazui actually cheated or not-- maybe it was an emotional affair? Either way, he probably at the very least confessed his 'lie' to his wife-- namely, that he's gay. Did he physically cheat? I'm not sure about that yet. But he definitely did drop the 'masquerade' (his faking being straight), and that broke his wife's heart. Her marriage was built on a heap of lies, and even if Kazui did love her platonically, that still doesn't erase the heartbreak and humiliation that comes with knowing you were basically being unknowingly used as a beard by someone who you loved dearly-- someone who you assumed loved you back.

Oh, right-- another slice of evidence from the voice drama. While talking to Es, Kazui has a mini freak-out. During this, he says:

'I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see it's painful.'

'So I've tried to change! I've tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others!'

'I've confided in others. I've tried to be myself! I've tried to just be the way I was born!"

'It's not my lies that killed her. She's dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn't have died...!'

'I can't live unless I lie. That's how I was born... I'm pathetic, aren't I?'

(tl credit to @onigiriico )

...yeah. To me, this is almost 100% proof of the gay Kazui theory. He tried to stop lying, and to 'be himself.' To 'be the way he was born.' If that's not a queer analogy, I don't know what it is.

Finally, I just want to point out the line near the end: 'I wanted to be loved just like a cat.' In Japan, the word 'cat' ('neko') can also be used as a gay slang term for 'bottom. Maybe it's a bit too on the nose, but I really do think that this could just be Kazui straight up stating his preferences.

Anyways, that's my two cents! Based on this MV and the voice drama, I'm voting [FORGIVE], but I'd love to hear other people's takes on this.

Either way, congrats to Kazui for having the first jazz banger in MILGRAM 🫡 Ryouta Takeuchi continues to feed us

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #maemae talks #milgram theory

[thetwistedminds]

Do you think malleus is neurodivergent?

Is Malleus Neurodivergent?

To properly answer this question someone needs to understand what it means to be Neurodivergent. In simple terms: One’s brain functions and works differently than the normal human brain. There is a problem with answering this question: Malleus is not a human, rather a fae specifically a dragon and as we can tell in book 7 Malleus poses the ability to shift between and “human” form and a “Dragon” form and there is no actual way to know how a typical dragon brain works (when you google it you get like 7 different results and most of them are about bearded dragons. I highly doubt Malleus has two different brains. He has a dragon brain that is capable of slight emotions. The other ones are completely invalid, when you try to fact check the information, you get no actual proof of anything) that is what makes it hard to answer.

HOWEVER!! I will try to answer this still. I say yes only because when you look at how Lilia acts (bad example but hold on) and how Sebek acts (stay with me now) You can see they are easily susceptible to changes. Malleus appears to be able to change, but just very, very, very, slowly. See Lilia can quickly pick up modern slang, and technology just like Sebek does. Sebek knows some slang even if it is not as quickly as Lilia or as up to date, he clearly knows what he is saying and doing. So, is Malleus Neurodivergent? Hard to answer that question since there is no proof of how dragon brains work. Also, I think all of Briar Valley ( Valley of the Thorns) might be a little slow seeing as how old everyone acts.

Sebek "Flexing on these fools" which is slightly more modern having become a popular term in the recent 2000's. What year it is in Twisted Wonderland is completely unknown.

Malleus stating that in Briar Valley they hardly see fully mechanical things. He once said that they commonly just use magic.

He does not understand technology

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #briar valley #poor malleus #trying his hardest

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

ok, so in this one fic that i'm gonna write, Louis and Lily are going to be Claudia's biological parents. just bc i wanna. but then i had this thought:

what if they actually were?

From what we know of the shows timeline Claudia is born in 1903. Papa de Pointe du Lac (I refuse to call him Daddy du Lac bc what the internet did to the word daddy. like, I'm from the south y'all. That's what I call my dad/father/old man. Or dickhead occasionally, but like, affectionately. Whoops, I'm rambling.) dies sometime in 1905.

I can imagine he's been sick for awhile, if only because the de Pointe du Lac's seem like the kind of family to have enough money to afford pro-longed health care. Hold on a sec.

26. That's the number you're wondering about, btw. How old Louis would be when Claudia was born. I know some of y'all might be trying to do the mental math, and imma save you bc math is evil. (we aren't supposed to tell you this working in education, but it's just like the worst. you have to stack numbers in your head and think about only one thing for a really long time--and i'm adhd in case you couldn't tell.)

Anyway, back to where I was. Up until a certain point, Louis could put off having had a serious girlfriend, or been seen visiting the brothels. First off, he's a good Catholic boy, so he gets a little leeway. And of course, there's Paul he's gotta look after. Then his daddy gets sick, so he's got shit to manage.

But a certain point he starts to feel overwhelmed, and he's at that age where he expected to start looking to settling down. So he does what all men at that age do to let off steam, and he gets a sex worker.

maybe there was something special about lily at the get go, or maybe louis just chose at random. but he got lily and they fucked. it might have been a sad sort of fucking, but you know, louis gave it his best. (he might even have enough enough of a gentleman to see that they had a happy ending. it's just the polite thing to do.)

and maybe he decides to really vent about what's bothering him. and the sex was meh, but the talking was nice. and over time, they faze out the fucking portion altogether. and lily becomes more than just a sex worker he pays for companionship, but a confessor, a priest to confess to all that he can't to his other.

but claudia could have been conceived during one of those earlier visits where louis like, had to establish his straightness. it would have been easy to hide in the early months before lily started to show. and she could have easily said another client got her pregnant. But like, in the hypothetical, she could have been pregers with louis' baby, birthed it and left it with whatever family member she could get to take it. aka the mean auntie.

(now like, irl, she'd be like, grabbing this opportunity by the throat. but this is the hypothetical, so roll with me.)

lily wouldn't want to tell louis she was pregnant with his child. she thought he'd try to 'do the right thing' and marry her, and the idea of her and her child being looked down upon by the rest of the family disgusted her. so she never told him. but by then she probably figured out louis was gay, and she did not want to be his beard indefinitely, having to stay all loyal and true to louis while he fucked guys

so like papa du lac dies and now lily can't just pop out like, surprise, i'm his baby mama. except you know, in the slang for the era. so lily keeps claudia hidden. and means to eventually one day tell louis.

(and you know, being the only girl that Louis sees, people probably see him as like his--jfc, idk how to convert this from trailer trash, but it's like where if you're with a guy and living together so many years legally you're married. except you're not it's just about--nope. I'm not going do it and go off on a tangent. Anyway, it's like whatever the cultural approximation is to that.)

but then there's this white french dude sniffing around her man who isn't technically her man but she's the closest thing to a therapist he's got and is also his trailer-trash-wife. so like, she analyzes the threat and works out the situation. Claudia can be Louis' daughter he never knew about. Lily can be his kept woman, or she could take some money and run away. It depended on whether he wanted Claudia to himself and lestat, or if he wanted to share with her. or if he wants claudia at all.

she lestat reads her mind when he visits her one night, and is like, fuck i do not want to have kids. so he kills her bc hey, if she's dead, no problem. (or maybe he vamps her in agreement that she never see louis again and goes somewhere far away to start a new life. i know it doesn't make sense, but i like to imagine a world where lily lived. escapism is fun sometimes)

is this theory insane? yes? but is it impossible? no!

(I use this as reference a lot. But mostly the pdf version i have downloaded bc my internet is a fickle bitch sometimes. So it's probably, like behind on updates with the new trailers.)

#crack theory #high posting #idk wtf i'm really talking about atm #i keep zoning the fuck out

[maid-with-sunset-in-her-hair]

Sansa was wearing silver and purple at Joffery wedding. She also wore that silver hairnet of black amethyst. Dany was shown to wore silver collar with purple amethyst st Qarth and her eyes were compared with amethyst. Sansa was carrying poison which was used for killing Joffery who was her nephew and king. Could be foreshadowing for Dany killing her nephew Aegon who will be king. Plus the rumors about Sansa turning into winged wolf after killing Joffery fits more Dany flying over Drogon.

Hello Dot! You’re probably right that it’s partially foreshadowing about Daenerys killing her nephew like Sansa killed hers. But I also wanted to add that the symbolism for amethysts is slightly different in Daenerys’ chapters and much more prominent than in Sansa's chapters.

Daenerys wore a purple dress and amethyst bracelets together with a gold slave collar to meet with Khal Drogo, who ended raping her until she wanted to die:

The girl slid the gilded sandals onto her feet, while the old woman fixed the tiara in her hair, and slid golden bracelets crusted with amethysts around her wrists. Last of all came the collar, a heavy golden torc emblazoned with ancient Valyrian glyphs. (AGOT Daenerys I)

The scene of Daenrys getting ready to meet him is actually very similar to the scene of Sansa unwittingly getting ready for her wedding with Tyrion. A golden child bride with amethysts and a silver child bride with moonstones, foils and parallels. Like Sansa, Daenerys is also being trapped in an abusive situation.

Her ancestors are described as having amethyst eyes during her wake the dragon dream, and they're encouraging her to pursue a doomed legacy of fire and blood under the belief she’ll find a home and a place to belong:

Ghosts lined the hallway, dressed in the faded raiment of kings. In their hands were swords of pale fire. They had hair of silver and hair of gold and hair of platinum white, and their eyes were opal and amethyst, tourmaline and jade. (AGOT Daenerys IX)

Xaro gifted her an amethyst collar top ward off poisons, but it's implied he's sabbotaging her attempts to gain the support from others in Qarth and trying to get her killed so he can steal her dragons:

"A dream delayed, no more." Dany's tight silver collar was chafing against her throat. She unfastened it and flung it aside. The collar was set with an enchanted amethyst that Xaro swore would ward her against all poisons. The Pureborn were notorious for offering poisoned wine to those they thought dangerous, but they had not given Dany so much as a cup of water. (ACOK Daenerys III)

For Sansa amethysts are poison, for Daenerys they’re supposed to protect her from poisons, but are a poison of another kind. She paid for the Unsullied with a box of black amethysts:

Jars of saffron, jars of myrrh, jars of pepper and curry and cardamom, an onyx mask, twelve jade monkeys, casks of ink in red and black and green, a box of rare black amethysts, a box of pearls, a cask of pitted olives stuffed with maggots, a dozen casks of pickled cave fish, a great brass gong and a hammer to beat it with, seventeen ivory eyes, and a huge chest full of books written in tongues that Dany could not read. And more, and more, and more. Her people stacked it all before the slavers. (ASOS Daenerys II)

We don’t know if those are actually black amethysts or if it’s just a slang for the Strangler, but during the whole transaction, Kraznys is telling Denerys to sack the small cities and bring the captives back to be sold in Astapor, tempting her to participate more deeply in the slave trade.

Hizdahr is probably working with The Harpy to undermine Daenerys and bring slavery back to Meereen, guess what he’s wearing the first time he appears on page?

The nobleman had wings of wiry red-black hair sprouting from his temples. They made him look as if his head were about to take flight. His long face was made even longer by a beard bound with rings of gold. His purple tokar was fringed with amethysts and pearls. (ADWD Daenerys I)

And finally Xaro was wearing an amethyst nose ring when he threatened Daenerys after he failed to convince her to sail to Westeros and abandon Meereen to the slavers:

Tears welled from his eyes, creeping down his nose, past emeralds, amethysts, and black diamonds. "I told the Thirteen that you would heed my wisdom. It grieves me to learn that I was wrong. Take these ships and sail away, or you will surely die screaming. You cannot know how many enemies you have made." (ADWD Daenerys III)

The central symbolism of amethysts in Daenerys’ chapters seems to be about slavery. Being sold to Drogo like a slave, her family’s legacy of fire and blood that can be traced back to Valyria, buying slaves, Xaro and Hizdahr who are supporting slavery in a way or another.

#asoiaf #my meta #valyrianscrolls #anti daenerys targaryen #sansa stark

[spiderh0rse]

freeman's mind notes part 6, e26-30

e26

new intro scene! AMS.

wants a gnome. Does not know what he's talking about here.

would feed his gnome granola and house it in a cage

gnome agnostic

can't think of anything people other than him have done right today

still waiting for hidden treasure...

knows German

"eeeh"

a bit surprised shooting road signs is the correct action to take

you are indeed number one, buddy

i hesitate to tell gordon about the deeply ableist roots of freak shows

would attempt to headbutt a headcrab

thinks the OAR tram is just for fun

[makes banjo noises]

HATES spinning tram

should have been a pirate

e27

PIRATE EISODS PIRATE EPISODE

MECHANICAL LONGBOAT AND MUSKETS

still wants to surface

it's still his exact speech patterns hes just doing a voice and slang

repeating flintlock.......

milksops,,,,, I am just going to be repeating back his silliest words here

oh yes raid those empty boxes

MONKEYSHINES

Miniature grapeshot is pretty clever tbh

he must sound nuts to anyone who happens to survive his passing

fighting.... fighting roosters. I will not quote directly.

"there be all manner of queer beasties in this hole" very true

should that be slur count five actually???? uh.. nah. Nah.

awwww we're done already :(

e28

drops the voice. Coughs horribly

has a LONG way to go before his voice sounds like that normally

ambassador pineapple!!!!

the HECU KNOWS his NAME

SNRJJDMRKRK THEY KNLY KNOW WHO HE IS BECAUSE OF THE BEARD

immediately distrusts something convenient

looking for money in a side room

headcrab SNOT MONSTER couple in the vomitorium

"yore dead."

yeah this amount of explosives underground is unpleasant

not yet at the phase in his life where he has to double tap people

not being paranoid would kill him, he's pretty sure

frog people mentioned AGAIN

owls are very dumb beasts. They probably can't read minds

freeman please stop being ableist i beg you. i BEG

has a perfect shot on some marine that isn't in his way. Doesn't shoot at him.

has $10,000 of gold in Massachusetts.

once again I cannot recognize the language but I can only assume he's speaking Hindi here

Eddie mention AGAIN. this time about transit

curious if his suit can stop heavy caliber bullets

"ha HA" goofiest laugh I've ever heard.

humming AGAIN

Finally thinks this isn't a rescue operation

e29

lack of corpses indicates he is going to wrong way

grappling hook Longing

nitroglycerin would be insanely unstable. Not shelf stable

insists he should not be this impulsive

confused at the lack of destruction in the wake of high explosives

wants to see explosive hurdles at the olympics

today's episode brought to us by the number eight

he keeps devising more and more unsettling tram plans

would love to engage in psychological warfare

wants some PILLS.

being on a submarine wouldn't make him feel better

that is too many shotgun blasts

silly voices continue

this IS a world where not all glass is bulletproof

the military probably doesn't have object permanence yeah

wants to make ghost noises. Makes straining noises instead

worse Marco Polo yeah yeah

does sit down to listen to the marines. Kills em when they're done though

does a little jump for joy when outside

what are these noises sir

HOWLS. WOLF NOISE

e30

new intro! flashing monitor room

howl CONTINUES

thinks he can pry blast doors open

the code to the door is not "leet"

familiar with the three stooges. Thinks Mo would kill the others

climbs up to the launch bay's window instead of puzzling his way by the dynamite

does consider not killing a couple of guys that aren't in his direct path

shaken by bullets getting near his head

resolves to just kill any member of the military he comes across regardless of their intent

the microbiology department was not a controversial bunch

"if somebody's grandma is cold and she puts on a camo blanket? she's DEAD."

presses the launch button without knowing what it does

drama queen <3

"i did not leave any fingerprints. I was wearing my suit." My favourite line in the series

climbs on out of there! Climbs back down! He knows he won't survive a multiple day trek across the open desert

he's just so matter-of-fact about killing everyone. It's delightful in some way i can't put words to

he has RENOUNCED his status as KING OF THE UNDERWORLD

tram based pizza delivery system

#will say i think the series of notes culminating in 'gnome agnostic' is some of the funniest stuff ive written in a while #freeman's mind #gordon freemind #rmanotes

[scumscuttlers]

Random Trivia

Just some stuff that's been on my brain about what Inezra likes / has picked up since she started interacting with aliens.

Human Topics

Inezra has been exposed these things to one way or the other, either through conversations with humans, aliens somewhat familiar with them, or as a result of consuming and asking questions about human media. If she remembers anything at all, if only comes out if she can connect it to something relevant in the moment and/or can use that knowledge to make fun of someone.

Christianity, which spiraled into a search that ended up in a deep dive into Christian Fundamentalism and assorted topics. She doesn't care about that part, but she does like the murder and violence in the old testament. Jesus getting nailed to the cross is pretty cool. No clue why humans act so weird about it.

Santa Claus. Why does an old bearded guy go around giving wrigglers presents? Funny that bad kids get coal though.

Pigments. You mean they don't use blood? Like at all? They're out here using artificial sources entirely? Okay, kind of lame but whatever.

Human family structures and relationships. She doesn't really care about the complexities involved in human family trees, and has trouble differentiating between them. It doesn't matter much to her, considering most if not all of the humans she interacts with have dead lusii, families, or both. It does make watching human media suck sometimes. Who is who? Why are they acting like that? Are they related?

The confederate flag. This was briefly explained to her as something humans carry when they're stupid. Why would you fly a flag when you lost that badly?

Crime. For the most part it seems like humans are awfully worried about shit that doesn't matter, like murder, or dismemberment, or maiming to the point where they have insurance for this very thing. Seems weird.

Countries. The fact that there's so many different countries on Earth makes her mad. You guys couldn't figure your shit out and put one person in charge?

American States. Again with the multiple municipalities and boundaries. Why is America not just one big country, or a handful of territories ruled over by the same entity properly. Why do the states have such stupid names? What the fuck is an Arkansas?

Science Fiction. Humans' idea of the future in their past media reads as very silly to Inezra. Though she thinks franchises like Alien are interesting enough, when viewed from the standpoint that systems humans knew that were somewhat simple would be easier to repair (re: CRT monitors and whatnot). At least they had robots.

Human Expansionism. Humans dreamed big, didn't know shit, and then also didn't manage to go any further than their moon before they blew their whole planet up. They couldn't even conquer all the land on their own planet and use it effectively. Kind of funny, not gonna lie!

Human Phrases

Y'all, die badly (Dave's fault), you do you, other assorted pieces of slang and references that are actually difficult to keep track of. Maybe I'll update this section later.

Human Media

She isn't a fan of most human media! She doesn't think they effectively use their screen time at all. This is mostly a complaint about shows like Why Women Kill. They already spent 3 hours showing you reasons why. Go ahead and get to the part where the husbands get murdered, thank you.

She dislikes unrealistic violence in movies because it takes the fun out of it. Realistic fear and fighting are better. She especially likes when humans use tools in their environment to beat monsters. Go human. Sorry you're weak, but at least you can put your neurons to use.

She does like:

Pearl (2022)

Alien (1979)

Gone Girl (2014)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Xena: Warrior Princess

Miscellaneous

Owns a cat. She hasn't given it a name.

She has spent a couple days in jail, but she hasn't been to prison.

Likes

Alternian Wrestling. She has an account on the official forums and regularly uses it to start flame wars and wish death on troll's favorite wrestlers.

Meat buns. She's a regular patron of a combination food truck / restaurant hub called GastroGrub where they're readily available.

Chocolate Ice Cream.

#OOC #[Meta Post] #[Character Info] #// It's a little crazy under the cut. #// Will probably do another one of these later or add onto it in the future.

[anxietywriter]

Characters and Quirks!

idk about you but i like learning about characters and noticing that they have certain quirks, whether it's how they speak or act. it's endearing and makes me a little more attached

regional words! this sort of them helps to hint at an accent or where a character is from. For example "y'all" might indicate that they're from the American south, whereas "mate" might suggest they're from somewhere like the UK or Australia. this includes slang! especially if the same kind of slang is used in two different ways. Ex: "in my bag" may be sad for one person but happy/doing well for another.

hand movements when speaking. some people are so still and stuff when speaking, some are more expressive, and some have kind of fluttery movements. it's all in the gestures, the little hand flaps or nervous smoothing of their tie. or the rigidness of their shoulders versus grand sweeping motions

a characters general speech and vocabulary!! whether they get straight to the point or have long, rambling monologues. if they use big words or outdated language. or if they mix their speech with a different language.

they're always caring, in every small way possible, for everyone else. heating up soups when they're sick, gently pulling them by their sleeve when there's a car nearby, picking up small messes the others leave behind. they're like the older sibling none of the others had.

characters that actually like bugs and lizards and all that! they're FASCINATED and delighted by them! bugs in frames and pets! And they're always so excited to take care of their pet bearded dragon or tarantula in the most wholesome way like come on! anyways them always looking for new bugs and things and maybe even carrying a notebook or camera to keep a record of it

characters that always have a lot of just stuff. bracelets covering their forearms with layered necklaces and rings and multiple earrings piercings. tons of plushies and blankets and pillows. bookcases filled almost to bursting. figurines littering shelves. you just know that their house is a cluttered mess

love when characters have certain tells when they're nervous or lying. whether it's the slight upturn of their lips, or the way they always have to play with their jewelry. the way they nervously shuffle their cards in their hands when playing poker. their eyes darting to everyone's face. playing with their hair. sticking out their tongue slightly. fidgeting around. tapping their feet. LIKE YES. love the subtle hints to know what they're thinking.

#prompt list #writing prompts #story prompts

[richardazer]

im not sure if youve done this already but can we get some GazPrice headcannons? (with Fin the SD ofc)

OMG OMG YES!!!

Warning before I start the madness, I don't have much headcanon about the actual game world, I do not like military shit so everything I have is off duty or my AUs

Also I've never done this before, my ideas aren't really coherent but I hope I can satisfy with what I have :3

First lets start with the Fin time-line:

For those who haven't seen I've posted art of Gaz, Price and John's service dog Fin.

HCs:

Gaz went into the job expecting not to make it, he was prepared to be damaged, either physically or mentally so he took really good care of himself

Price was the opposite, he thought he was strong and untouchable but with each dead comrade his mind began taking a lot of damage

I like making strong men pathetic and weak so that was the reason Gaz caught Price's eye. Price noticed a sturdy, strong, safe oasis in the middle of battlefield, that's why he was drawn to him and Gaz quickly became his favorite because he wanted to make the world a better place and was ready to change the world with his own hands

Obviously after working for so long they got closer and closer and Gaz couldn't NOT fall for soft papa bear that Price turned out to be off duty hehhe

Kyle single handedly dragged him into therapy because he was the only one who saw how much weight and damage John was carrying on his shoulders

Obviously with so much support work became easier to handle but years of trauma aren't going to go away and Kyle can't be the only one to take care of the old man lol

Fin was recommended by Price's therapist and she is his helper on base

Off duty Price gets to let go and not be ashamed of ptsd because he has people who will help and support him through it, just like he supported them for all these years

I think at some point Price would be permanently moved to base because he's no longer fitted for the battlefield

(you can clearly see I have 0 idea of how military works nor do I know the game's lore lol)

Fin is there to guide him in the buildings, lead him to quiet places when he's stressed, remind him to take breaks (Price is a workaholic). I don't know much about ptsd dogs so Fin headcanons need me to do a lot of research before even attempting to write them down. (I'm so sorry there's not much for Fin 😭)

As for personalities or little silly ideas:

John is a big softie who tries so hard to fit in and be a dad to everyone, got his piercings during his relationship with Gaz (cried when getting his helix) he's always trying to be on the same wave as Gaz and ends up learning so much internet slang because of it, never uses it properly on purpose to make Kyle laugh his ass off. Gaz makes him learn kpop dances (Gaz and Ghost are very big twice fans shhh)

Gaz is very much stuck being a boy. He's very serious when needed to be but the rest of the time he's a silly goofy spoiled babygirl. Got his piercings right after getting into 141 as celebration, hid them from Price and Laswell very well for 2 months and then forgot to change them to silicone studs one day and got caught. Soap is his buddy and they run around pranking people and constantly compete with each other on who can burp the loudest

They love talking care of each other and Kyle is especially in love with captain's beard so when they have time they let themselves groom each other like cats, aka Gaz takes good care of John's beard using a brush and oils and giving the man a massage. In return Price takes care of Kyle's body, his rough strong careful hands are perfect for giving the younger man a proper relaxing massage

Gaz's teasing nature really blooms with Price because he knows that he can get away with so much. Throwing a joke or flirting here and there or just straight up touching Price has only good consequences for Kyle. Price adores him to no end and always asks for his view on almost any situation. John is all ears all the time because he loves his voice and genuinely wants to know what Gaz is thinking about. Even picking ice-cream flavors or a movie to watch becomes a very deep philosophical dialog

They don't tend to argue, even during missions it's aggressive dialogs instead of fighting. Gaz knows Price is the captain and he has so much more hand on experience and Price knows that Gaz would have a fresher, modern, more flexible view on the situation. Gaz is very observant and Price is constantly amazed at his ability to see the whole picture

More interesting headcanons from my chainsaw man AU if yall interested:

Gaz is a hunter/hunt devil because only humans hunt for fun and people are terrified of getting hunted >:3

Price (a human) literally saw him, said "you're pretty cool" and YOINKED him from the fucking government

In the AU the government catches all devils it can to study or use as weapons and since other countries started using devils in battles and just regular humans get into deals with devils to cause terror the government created special forces

141 is a test group lead by John Price and has a lot of powerful devils

Gaz has Makima eyes because I said so they're cool and glow in the dark

His abilities include: night/heat vision, hearing heartbeats and obviously inhuman strength and speed he's the hunt devil after all tracking down pray is so easy

He and Price have a deal no one knows about because all deals with devils must be approved by the government

The deal is that if Price dies so does Gaz so they can be together in hell (this man doesn't know chainsaw man lore either what did you expect lol)

What Price doesn't know is that Gaz spends more time protecting him than completing assignments hehhe

Fun bonus is dumb tiktok audio idea:

- you can hear heartbeats?

- can hear yours too, beating pretty fast~

GAY GAY GAY

alright madness over thanks for reading hope you enjoyed :]

#my art brr #my headcanons #Attempt at writing HCs down #Chainsaw man AU #call of duty hc #gazprice #gaz x price #gay gay homosexual gay #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #john price #call of duty #Headcanons

[mr-independent]

Let's keep it rolling babes, EP 5 The Lassos

--....why? Would they lower the door to the entrance to the club??? Ted's not insanely tall that's just weird

-- ah yes the appearance of Oklahoma, such a great trope in the show. Also Ted's 'constant optimism' is why we love him. Like yes it means he masks his anxiety with this...veneer of cheer almost. Honestly? Relatable. I can see now why my old boss says I remind her of Ted too much to enjoy the show lmao.

-- Ted literally sees himself as a character in a cartoon. He did the whole sunset run across the field to see his family without any care for how long it actually is. To borrow terms from the Our Flag Means Death fandom, Ted is slowly but surely muppetifying the entire cast one by one. He was the OG muppet and he's infecting them. And Yes Beard is Sam The Eagle why do you even need to ask

-- the fucking. Henry playing darts in the bar just like Ted used to when his dad was drinking ❤️‍🩹

-- y'all just know that Ted insisted against Michelles protests that they didn't need a hotel, that they could bunk with him in his fucking full-sized bed bc hes afraid theyre gonna disappear if he doesn't hold on with both hands and holy hell their whole episode is just. Hurting my heart.

-- Nate's dad was a cartographer. Nate's dad made the map to ask out his mom. ❤️.

-- it really uh. Says something that Michelle and Ted's couples therapist was the one who recommended Ted should give her some space, and then later we learn that when Michelle moves on its with that same therapist which is uh. Not great, actually. Can't blame Ted for getting super upset about that, that's an absolute shit situation actually.

-- Jamie's clearly hurting from Keeley breaking up with him, Ted's hurting from Michelle basically saying it's over, and neither of them are good at processing their emotions so predictably it only gets worse from there. Gotta say that's some star fucking writing there, how the plotlines overlap and impact their emotions and their backgrounds feed into this fundamental...misunderstanding? Butting of heads for sure.

-- Ted really must be in amazing shape. He outran half the footballers - professional runners! - a few episodes ago, he ran half the pitch to see his son without breaking a sweat, climbed an amount of stairs that a seasoned pro footballer called impressive without even getting too out of breath....he's damn fit

-- Ted monologues to himself to work out his problems and no one can convince me otherwise (see: the changes marriage metaphor halftime speech)

-- ok more of a personal note I've never heard English commentators cover football before watching this show (yes i understand this makes everything about me more confusing, esp given the mix of slang and the typing and spelling style, I'm an enigma what can I say?) But they treat it less like a job and more like a podcast than I'm used to. I enjoy it, but it feels weird and made up

-- Michelle finds it so fucking hard to hurt Ted even unintentionally, even to benefit her and her son, which is kinda a theme here. Ted's crafted this persona (which yes had become in a sense his true self but that's a whole other essay) that makes it nearly impossible to get hurt because everyone is so reluctant to do anything mean to him so when people are unfazed by this (see: Jamie) he's so caught off guard? It's almost sad how he's made himself so impervious to hurt by making himself so much more vulnerable to it and vice versa, he's just an exposed nerve that can't be cut and it's almost painful to watch

#ted lasso #teddy rewatches ted #i should mention. no thats not my name bc of ted lasso. i had it first he can get in line. #ted lasso meta

[johannestevans]

trans male characters part 5

feel free to use as a prompt or to give recommendations or to add your own

man who wears 5 jumpers in winter but is still cold

bank clerk who in his spare time is building a scale replica of his home town in his basement, complete with a working train station that is always behind schedule

lorry driver who takes photographs of the sunrise every day to post on his blog, which has 9 subscribers

exhausted universal translator technician who keeps deleting tech support tickets for regional slang on for 2000 different languages spread across a hundred planets

man who has an upside down tattoo on his wrist and gets upset at posters that explain proper tattoo placement

300-year-old sailor covered in tattoos who lectures people about knot tying, the fishing industry, politics, dietary choices, the environment, boat maintenance, appropriate beard length and, of course, proper tattoo placement

man who sells beautiful homemade jewellery on the beach and will absolutely take payment in the form of pretty rocks, candy, and weed, but cash is preferred

bicycle technician who is trying and failing to bring back putting a playing card in your bike wheel to make a tapping sound as a cool thing for kids to do. kids remain enenthused

devoted gentleman's gentleman who looks after his employer's every need (and kisses him nightly)

doctor who actually listens when his patients talk

jaw-droppingly gorgeous son of aphrodite

cold, grizzled son of ares whose chest scars blend in with all the rest

schoolteacher who wears charms and peacock feathers in his hair, whose chalk board is always supernaturally clean when not in use, and who can always tell who's whispering without turning his head

man across from you in the library who drops 4 caffeine pills into a red bull and chugs the whole thing. he sighs happily. you wonder how he survives it

man who's been abducted by aliens so many times now he's sure they just think it's a joke but they wipe his brain every time and his memory is shot

paranormal investigator who has been terrified of monsters since he was a child and one lived under his bed. he has no idea said monster has adopted him and been following him around since, intimidating any other creature which might be interested in eating him for lunch

man with a deep-seated phobia of cats who could only afford the rent on the flat between the pet shop and the vet, and on bad days exits his home via the back first floor window bc shimmying along the sill and a 7 foot fence is easier than facing a furious moggy in a carrier

man whose kiss kills people but keeps hoping this boyfriend will be different

wizard who is always high, drunk, or both, but never neither

[sarilolla]

Thrift shopping is not as fun if you are the one being thrifted

Hi, first one-shot, let's go! I came up with this in two days, after going to a couple of thrift markets and researching 50s fashion for a Daisy reference for my main fics. So here, have this. Also, I had a lot of fun with the 50s slang in this, but explanations will be in the end notes

Not a request - 3166 words

TW: The puppets are treated as objects and sold off, extra limbs

Summary:  Anthony Pierson, having been laughed out by both the press and police, decides with his coworker to kidnap all the puppets. Now, unsure what to do with the puppets, they decide to sell them. The thrift store owner, unsure of the credibility of the puppets, calls up an old friend of Owen.

—

Anthony Pierson would say he was a rational and logical man, no matter how many people argued against it.

All he wanted was to prove that the supernatural and paranormal were real. And he had so many chances to prove it! But, no, they had been false, hoaxes, or other things that were not outside what could be considered normal.

So when he had found the Handeemen studio, he almost felt blessed. The place wasn’t haunted like he first thought, but those puppets were still something paranormal.

…He had been laughed out by both the press and the police when he came with his research. Angered, he wanted nothing more than revenge, and while he couldn't take it out on real people, he sure could try on the puppets.

With Randy, the co-founder of Vox Veritas, and his closest friend, he had decided to take not just one as he originally planned, but every puppet they could get their hands on. Weapons in hand, and some strong containment boxes, they somehow managed to take them out.

From their research, they knew they had gotten all the main characters, plus one of the smaller felt puppets Randy took down just for fun. It was a difficult task, but riding the world of these evils was necessary.

“So, what should we do with them?” Randy asked, as there were no more signs of movement or even life from the different puppets. A couple of hours away from their hosts, they had gone quiet. It had taken a lot longer with the dog, so they had to kill the humans stuffed inside, remove them, and now it looked like a badly made animal skin rug.

“Both the press and police have refused anything to do with this, so I guess we could sell them? Get money back from all this bullshit.” Anthony answered, still glaring at the puppet he could tell was glaring back, but could do nothing.

So that's what they did, after a long discussion on where they should dare sell the puppets. Online was out of the question, and well, they didn't really have the right to sell the puppets anyway.

That's why they ended up at Oscar’s thrift store, a small but respectable business, that sometimes bought second-hand items if they believed they could get more money out of it.

“They are the genuine Handeemen from the show, a tiny bit damaged of course from the fire and such, but generally still good,” Randy explained to the store owner himself, Oscar Rojas, who looked at the puppets with thoughtful eyes, scratching his beard.

“We just won't recommend actually using them as puppets though, they are… too fragile for that,” Anthony continued, not wanting to outright say that the puppets could come alive if they were put on someone's hand, and that person would most likely become a zombie.

The shopkeeper looked over the puppets carefully, at times barely touching them, just observing them in silence.

“Now I would ask how you got these fellas, but considering what that studio is known for I would rather not…” He sounds thoughtful, shaking his head, “I highly doubt many will recognize them, however, so I guess I’ll take them. Been a long time since anyone around here talked about that place and the show within.”

Both Anthony and Randy let out a sigh at that, as Oscar put the box covering on again, leading the two men out of his office to give them the money for the puppets.

As they got the cash (a little less than what they were hoping for, but still a decent sum), Randy handed the shop owner a pair of thick gloves, simply saying it was what they had been using to handle the puppets. He took them with a raised eyebrow but did not question it.

He watched the two men walk out the door, and turned to let his niece Mariana take over the counter.

Picking up his phone as he watched the box on the floor of his office, he dialed the number of someone he knew would love this.

— “Well, are you certain it's really them? You know I trust you, Oscar, but this might be a bit too wild to be true.”

A woman's voice entered the room. Mortimer could not yet tell if it was someone to be cautious about, as those paranormal investigators had practically kidnapped them and sold them off. The man they were sold to, Oscar Rojas, had seemed skeptical about them but accepted the offer.

Mortimer had not felt this stillness of his body since the first week of his life, as Father barely took him out of that glass case. The others had not yet been alive back then and had never felt that awful stillness that was no life force to use, but still forced to be awake.

He knew the rest of his crew was here, Riley, Daisy, and Nick. Rosco was in a separate box, and he knew that probably drove the scientist of the team insane from worry.

And then there was Scout. A felt puppet on her second host. She had been caught in the crossfire, simply put, but that didn't justify those pesky humans taking her as well.

It was of the rarer sort that the Handeemen let a felt puppet get a second chance, but they had all agreed there was something special about Scout. Someone who had managed to break out of the default mold was, in every sense, valuable. She was in no way proper leader material. Still, if she had managed to get through Riley’s test, she would make a formidable assistant to whomever in the studio, and Mortimer could see the potential the small felt puppet had for magic.

Alas, now those plans were put on ice, as they were in a giant shipping box, lifeless and facing the strong possibility of being sold off.

“Well, the two fellas who were here seemed quite certain of it. And I highly doubt anyone would care enough to make copies to sell of a forgotten kids' show.”

The shop owner's voice answered the feminine one, and Mortimer would not deny that the statement kinda stung. Surely they weren't that unimportant to be forgotten?

“Let me have a proper look then…” The feminine voice comes closer, and the cover over the box gets lifted carefully.

A pair of almost black eyes peer down at them with amusement, the human seemingly shocked.

“Oh goodness, now if these are copies I must speak with the creator. So similar to Owen’s creations.”

The human must have kneeled down, because she slowly stands up, looking at the shopkeeper. Mortimer can barely see what he gives to her, but when she turns back to them, he sees her pulling on a pair of thick gloves.

“They really used these? If they are the real deal I am surprised it held.”

She looks over the gloves, before walking over to the box the puppets are in. Slowly and carefully, she pulls Mortimer out, and he internally curses over the fact that he can't attach himself to her life force.

He can see her more clearly now, and he has this nagging feeling he should recognize her. Thick, dark hair flowed down her back, with bangs framing a heart-shaped face. Her eyes are eerily dark but full of warmth, and her mouth seems to be stuck in a permanent small smile that knows way too much. Mortimer would go as far as to say she was quite beautiful, but the beauty felt a bit off. Like it was done with magic.

“Goodness, I do believe it really is them. Gosh, had Owie seen them like this, he would have a heart attack.”

Owie? Did she mean Owen, like their Father? Curiosity piqued, he let her carry him more into the light (not that he had much of a choice).

“Why, yes, this is Mortimer Handee, alright.”

“How can you tell?”

“Well, Owie always had a little tell with his creations.”She paused, observing the puppet ever so slightly more, “Plus, if I remember correctly, he called me about them, said he didn't read something correctly, and they got possessed by a demon,” she speaks so calmly like it wasn't a big deal, and Mortimer watches the shop owners eye twitch.

“Well, then I can’t have them here. Any sign of magic and you get lawsuit upon lawsuit,” the shop owner mutters, pulling at his beard, sending the woman holding the puppet a knowing look.

“Oh, don't I know it. Which is a shame, craftwork like this would go for quite the pretty penny, but a demon…”

“How can you tell? Are you sure it's a demon?”

The woman looks down at Mortimer, who makes no effort to look back at her, and wrinkles her nose.

“Yes, unfortunately. There's this sorta smell around them, like a burnt-out match, I can't fully explain it. But, there's a demonic entity connected to them, no doubt.”

She pouts, carefully putting Mortimer down at the desk in the office, allowing him to view what she is doing.

She walks over to the box again, carefully pulling his friends out, the pout and wrinkled nose a constant, before putting them back just as carefully.

“Goodness, they clearly have been through a lot. Ain't that a bite…” she stops as she carefully puts down Riley, sympathy coating her words at the scientist's newest injury, inflicted by the damned humans that sold them here in the first place. “But they clearly are Owies' work… The detail, the carefulness. Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Don't you agree, Oscar? The details are exquisite!”

“You're the professional of the two of us, but I can agree they have wonderful details.”

If Mortimer were capable he would have blushed, a deep warmth at the praise directed at them, as the woman smiled down at his friends.

The woman halts a bit, tapping at her sides, before stopping herself, “Oh who is this little dolly? I have never seen you before.”

Still careful (which Mortimer notes she has been the entire time to his relief), she pulls out Scout, and Mortimer gets worried. He's not sure why, but he knows that this lady knew Father at one point, and that might be the only reason she is being careful with his creations now.

But the felt puppets were never created by Owen Gubberson himself. They were there as extra characters, blending in with the background. They were given to whichever lucky child was celebrating their birthday at the studio (yes they had birthday celebrations there, he still remembered the smell of store-bought cake that Daisy had complained about when they were brought to life).

The felt puppets were almost uncountable considering how many they had at one point. They could be considered replaceable by some, but Mortimer had decided that this one was not.

He wanted to stretch out to the much smaller puppet, to make sure she was alright. It didn't cause much more than a slight twitch of his fingers, but it didn't seem like the humans noticed it.

“What a cutie! I love her hair, blue is such a fun color. Just the bee's knees.”

Oh, it seemed he was almost worried for nothing then.

“Well, if she's with them, I imagine she had something with her, something interesting…”

Laying Scout back down, she turns to the second box, which Mortimer hadn't noticed before, opening it as well, “Well that must be Rosco, poor thing.”

She gently pets what must be Rosco in the box, before gently putting the cover on top again. Almost doing the same for the first box, she stops herself and gets Mortimer from his spot on the desk, putting him back with his friends.

Then she puts the cover back on and continues talking with Oscar.

“What do you think I should do about them? I can't sell something possessed, people will figure it out and I don't have time for that paperwork.”

“Oh, I mean if you were thinking of a prize already, I would be willing to buy.”

…

Mortimer feels those words like a bomb just hit him, and from the tension he can slightly feel from his friends, they are also scared.

“If you are willing, that would be delightful, Taffy.”

“Oh, cut the gas, better for someone who knows a bit about them to take them, than some poor unsuspecting human.”

Mortimer tunes out the rest of the conversation between the humans, feeling numb as the box they are in gets lifted and carried somewhere, most likely a car.

As the box shifts, Scout somewhat tumbles close to his arm, and with some last effort strength, he places two of his fingers on the felt puppet’s hand, trying to convey how sorry he is for her being caught by the crossfire. The felt puppet doesn't move, but he hopes she gets the message.

The car (he assumes they are in one anyway), starts moving, and they drive for a long time, and he almost drifts asleep. He doesn't however, as the car stops, and the box is carried with minimal struggles inside what he presumes is the woman's house.

It was quiet for a while, as the human walked back outside to carry in the box containing Rosco.

The light is blinding as the box opens, and he and the others are taken out of it, neatly placed on a table, held up by some stands that don't feel too different from the ones back at the studio.

“Now y’all seem rather displeased about being here, which I get, but let's make the best out of it.”

She looks over them carefully, warmth still evident in her eyes. Brushing off her skirt, she gives them a small smile, “I have to do something about the demon, however, so I'll be back in a jiffy. Stay here,” she adds with a small laugh, leaving the room in confident strides. The puppets don't have much of a say in where they stay, so they simply take the small moment they have to observe the space.

The place looks old, but very well cared for. There's barely any dust dancing in the small streaks of light from the window to their left, and the door to their right is still wide open.

After a short while, the woman came back. She had changed her clothes, although it was very similar, going from a black dress to a black skirt and white blouse. In her hands, she held a book, which looked ancient.

“Now, let's see… I would need something to remove the demon, and then something to keep them alive. Now, I must say Owie was quite the oddball, but I never thought he would use magic. He knew how frowned upon that is, could land him plenty of years in the cooler for that, if it didn't just mess up and kill him that is…”

She looked over at the puppets, before walking to the opposite side of the room, placing the book down at the reading desk there. If what she said was true, with magic being frowned upon and all, she seemed rather calm about having them in her home.

Her back was turned to them, and they watched as she flipped the pages of the book, never once throwing a glance back at the puppets, yet they still felt watched. She stopped flipping the pages as her hand landed on a page she seemed happy with, realizing a satisfied hum.

She started pulling her hair up, first into a ponytail, then she fixed it into a bun. It looked very neat, even if she hadn't looked in a mirror while doing it. Something about it just was perfect.

Now they had a clear view of her neck, and had they still had the ability to talk, they would have lost it yet again. There was an eye there, as dark as the ones on her face, watching them with keen interest. It blinked, as its owner revealed another thing about her that could not be considered normal.

Lifting her blouse just a tiny bit, they saw she had something across her stomach and back, it somewhat looked like a straightjacket. Slowly she untied the knot, and the arms that were now revealed stretched forward, as her first more normal pair of hands unbuttoned the straightjacket-like article and took it off.

Putting the blouse on now properly as there were holes for her arms in it, she stretched, all four arms on full display, the eye in her neck still watching them with deep interest.

“Yuck, it's so tiring hiding them, word from the bird.” She says, turning back to face them with a wink.

“Now I am simply going to say all this to warn you, because I do know that you are listening, at least I hope you are.”

She walked closer to them, standing in the light from the window, her shadow turned towards the light instead of away from it.

“First I will remove the demon. While I do have nothing against the smell of a burnt-out match, which demons do tend to leave the smell off, I think it's time for this fella to hit the road.”

She shows off a small green rock hanging from a gold pendant, before hiding it in her top hands and clasping together as in prayer, her lower arms stretching out to each side with open palms up.

“I, Taffy Taylor, use my blessings bestowed upon me by the Angel of Death, and Demon of the Badlands, to exorcize the demon plaguing these beings. Never again shall they be possessed by them, nor shall they be hurt by them. I say these words in hope and prayer that the gods, their angels, and their demons, will hear me and answer my call.”

The sky outside darkens, and Taffy smiles as the puppets feel the demon being removed by them, a heavy burden finally off their shoulders.

“Now, you will probably black out soon, so I'll keep this short.”

She walks even closer to them.

“I will fix you up, and well, give you legs so you can move around on your own. As long as you stay at my pad, I want you to be comfortable. I'm certain that you have lots of questions, but I'll clue you in later, alright?”

Taffy was still smiling at them, a warm and kind smile, and not one out of pity.

“Do I have your consent to fix you up while you are out of it?” She said, locking eyes with each of them, nodding along with what Mortimer suspected was a yes from them all, he gave one himself.

He felt tired, exhausted even, letting himself slip into unconsciousness as Taffy still stood there smiling.

“Sleep well.”

--

Just wanted to explain a bit about this au:

Magic is severely frowned upon, and anything supernatural/paranormal as well Taffy was a very close friend of Owen and used to call him Owie (much to his chagrin), however, she only visited the studio once in its filming days and was therefore not recognizable to the puppets Taffy is somewhat of an eldritch being, serving under an Angel of the goddess of Death, and a Demon of the Badlands (aka a place of justice in this world, weird I know) She has four arms, two normal and two under them than can be hidden, but it's exhausting in the long run. She also has a fully functioning eye in the back of her neck. Plus, her shadow goes towards the light, instead of away from it She is good with magic, and has the ability to smell different presences. The demon possessing the puppets smelled of a burnt-out match, a demon in a higher position or more evil would smell like a normal fire, angels usually smell like different flowers, etc Yes she fixed up the puppets as promised, and they would have actually had a pretty nice life at her place, when they get over how they got there

All 50s slang used in one-shot

Ain't that a bite - That’s too bad

Dolly - Cute girl

bee's knees - something wonderful and good

cut the gas - Be quiet!

in a jiffy - in a hurry

Odd ball - Someone a bit off the norm

Cooler - jail or other place where you feel locked up

Yuck (Yucky) - annoyance, displeasure, or anything gross

word from the bird - The truth

hit the road - time to leave

pad - home

I’ll clue you - I’ll fill you in

#hello puppets #hello puppets fic #sarilolla´s writing #an oc that is not Bee? in one of my Hello Puppets stories #its more likely than you think

[mmmthornton]

Abbott Elementary D&D Episode WHEN baby?

What can I say, I'm a simple lesbian. I see a show with a great group dynamic and I gotta think about what they'd be like at the tabletop.

Plus, I'm...responsibly imbibing and putting off work so HERE WE GO!

Jacob becomes determined to start some kind of gaming club at the school, but he hadn't actually DM'd before so he asks the other teachers if he can do a "practice run" first and bribes them with takeout and beer to let him run a game for them in the gym in the evenings. Surprisingly Barbara has come around to it NOT being a tool of the devil thanks to her and her husband watching Stranger Things together ("If it can help those kids beat a demon and learn to appreciate family in the god-forsaken 1980s, it can't be all bad"). Melissa says she could learn a new game since its no fun card sharking the same five people at her local bar, and Gregory is pretending really really hard that he's not EXTREMELY excited about this because he's always wanted to play but never did as a kid. Ava laughs until she cries when Jacob first asks if she wants to join then flips when Gregory will be there..."and when those craft beers go right through his skinny hipster body" she wants to be there to see his "wild" side. Janine knows nothing about the game but is excited about a new extracurricular activity and thinks its a great way to bond with the kids, and Mr. Johnson wasn't invited but shows up with Coke and a Costco-sized bag of Smartpop because he KNOWS whats up.

Barbara : Definitely a Cleric. She is willing to physically fight Jacob though if she has to "choose a god" from the pantheon, so to keep the peace AND the immersive experience they agree Not To Go Into It but its enough that her healing and spells are faith-endowed. Early on though, she gets some REALLY good rolls to hit when they're surrounded by enemies and she becomes more of a "warcaster" in addition to healing. Lots of buffs and she gets into the idea of a powerful warrior who gives holy blessings with her presence. Probably should've chosen Paladin from the getgo with how she ends up playing, but she makes Cleric work for her.

Melissa : Definitely a Rogue. Okay, I promise all my thoughts aren't basic but also listen to me. The whole concept of the rogue network is SO up her alley. She almost seems like she's not even playing a character at first, but then JACOB surprises her with his NPCs and the two of them roleplay thieves cant as a sort of south philly slang. I think Jacob would be an AMAZing DM so he's ready to meet her where she is (not really invested at first, kind of skeptical on the whole thing), and draw her in by accurately using terminology and making the world feel gritty, lived-in, and familiar - and Melissa LOVEs it. She starts to really get into the fiction of this fantasy world and take the threat/plot hook seriously. Gets yelled at by the support for jumping into fights and going unconscious because she's not a tank class; maybe multiclasses into Barbarian or at least takes a feat or two so she's not going down every fight.

Gregory : The archetypal wizard; old, beard, pointy hat, the whole deal. I hear you thinking "Why not human fighter?" but no. Gregory will not do human fighter, he's been waiting to play D&D for like twenty years and hes researched EVERY aspect of every class. Could be a minmaxer, but moreso is just WAY overthinking the choice so finally Jacob just gives him a premade, high-fantasy, Gandalf-ass wizard named something like Geoffrey Jankins or whatever. Gregory spends a lot of time making his : [ face, worried that he's already destroyed his chance of "having fun in a tabletop game with work friends" because he's THAT kind of person. Once he relaxes, he starts to feel a lot more kinship with his wizard character; he's got a backstory in the premade sheet where he's trying to find a spellbook that was stolen from him that contained years of his hard work and research. Over the course of the game Jankins kind of works with the others the same way Gregory did as he warmed up to them as a substitute, and in the end has the Real Emotional Moment in-game as he realizes what his work was keeping him away from (the relationships with the others in the group being his found family). No one leaves that game with a dry eye.

Ava : Elf Bard, College of Swords. She refused to make a character when Jacob mentioned it involved adding numbers because she's too hot for math, so she got another premade that he knew she'd enjoy. She's actually pretty stoked on the idea of a Creative and Powerful Artist who's dripping with charisma enough that she actually gets the ins and outs of the spell rules really well and is very generous with her Bardic Inspirations ("even to Gregory's old-head-ass"). She does however seem to only use Cutting Words on her own team, specifically Janine ("Jacob! How could you let her use that spell?" "In my defense I didn't think she'd even read the spell sheet!"). I say College of Swords because the worst thing about being a bard is having to share the spotlight with someone else, so she decides she wants to be the hero AND the sexy song vixen who makes the ballad about it.

Janine : Some kind of Genasi or fey druid. She wants to connect with the nature in the world and tries to channel a kind of Pan-from-mythology-meets-Steve-Irwin-depicted-by-Simone-Biles character. Her character motivation is she wants to write a guidebook of the animals - both common and magical - that they come across but keeps absolutely failing her rolls. She rolls a one and slaps a Mystical Enchanted Forest Deer in the face, launching a fight that the party is NOT prepared for. IS very good in a fight; she'll transform into an owlbear and headbutt an enemy away if one of the other party members are in trouble. Only remembers how to use like, three spells total and doesn't tell Jacob that she has no clue how things like spell slots or materials work so she just doesn't track it / makes up a number when asked how much she has. Jacob catches on pretty quickly, but side eyes into the camera to let us know he's deliberately letting it slide because she keeps rolling badly and could use the break.

Mr. Johnson : Makes his own dwarf warlock who's ABSOLUTELY minmaxed to hell. The overall playstyle of the group though is more laid back, but he's after a harder core play experience and only drops in sometimes if he hears there's a boss fight. Can do things from the book that are completely legal but have Jacob looking up obscure status effects and rules to try to keep up. Would probably make a good DM, but says he's more of a Warhammer guy.

Jacob : Obviously the DM, but I imagine that once the kids get into the game one of them might want to take a turn DM'ing. Jacob, gleaming with pride, would be happy to pass the DM screen to the "younger, brighter, woker generation". He joins the party as a ranger ("...which in the fifth edition classic is not the most capable class however with updates and features can be utilized in very specific cases for role-play and battlefi-" "For f*cks sake Jacob just take a shortbow proficiency and lets get on with it"), and spends most of the time that they're playing being extremely proud of his student....until the kid catches him on a technicality on his animal companion range.

#abbott elementary #listen my...imbibing tolerance is pretty high but I almost mispelled barbara as barbary like THREE times already #I'm so sorry ms sheryl lee ralph lmao #the ava thing is also self serving because i'm playing a CoS Bard in a Curse of Strahd game #and I've been playiner her as like if Morticia Adams was played by Jenna Maroney from 30 rock lol #which makes me think of how fun Ava's character is #Youtube