#a chenford thesis

[chenfordspiral]

A Chenford Thesis on 5x12

Hello hello, I’m back with another Chenford ‘thesis’, or whatever we wanna call these things! This time, 5x12 will be taken apart as I try to analyze every little detail that I’ve noticed during my approximately 936481 rewatches. 

Be warned. I thought my essay for 5x08 was long. But this one has taken the cake. And I seriously have no idea when or how the f*** that happened. Anyway, if you’re interested and willing to sacrifice some of your time, enjoy the next... no. I better don't say how long this actually is...

Let’s start this whole thing with the episode's cold open.

I love how Tim has always been the one to open doors and let Lucy walk in, or out, first. As early as 1x03, he’s been the one to hold the doors open. And did you catch Lucy’s excited look after she says “I love your music” to Kelly Clarkson? She’s looking toward Tim, wanting to share her excitement with him. Because he’s the one she wants to enjoy and share everything with. 

I don’t know why these two little details make me so giddy and wanna squeal with joy, but they do. 

I’m just so completely gone for them at this point. 

I’m barely ten sentences in, and I’m already struggling to keep writing because I can’t stop my little happy dance.

This is gonna be great.  

We jump to the next (?) morning, and see Tamara doing yoga in her and Lucy’s apartment. I’m so glad she’s finally back. I’ve been wondering where in the world she’s been since we last saw her in 5x03. 

Lucy comes out of her bedroom, surprising Tamara a bit: “You’re here,” to which Lucy responds sarcastically “I live here.” But then Tamara lets her, and all of us, know why she’s surprised. “I went to bed at one and you still weren’t home.” “Oh, I came home around then. I must have just missed you. Trivia went late.” “And how was trivia?” 

Yeah, we can all tell by the way she asks that she knows that Lucy’s lying to her. We don’t know what happened the night before, but Tamara definitely knows that trivia is not where Lucy was. This is shaping up to become an interesting conversation between these two honorary sisters. 

Lucy has a whole cover story already planned, like she did the episode before when Nolan asked her and Tim what they did the night before (not that he was asking them about their plans together, he was just making conversation). “Amazing. I came up with this obscure fact about Josephine Baker so I’m feeling pretty good about myself.” This actually sounds believable, right? If it weren’t for the way Tamara asked before, I’d totally buy that story. But Tamara knows better than me. 

“You are such a smooth liar. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. All that undercover training.” 

Oh, Lucy. You’re being called out here. Tamara knows you well enough to spot your lies at this point. But, as always, Lucy denies. “I’m not lying.” But her little sister ain’t letting her off the hook here. She needs confirmation. And she needs Lucy to know that she knows. Whatever that may be. 

“I saw Tim drop you off.” Busted. No point in hiding it anymore, Lucy. 

And can I just briefly say how happy it makes me that Tamara is the first person to officially know they’re dating? Yes, I suspect that Genny knows, too. But we never saw that. Tamara is the first person whose reaction we’ve seen on screen. These two have started out as a rookie and her ‘puppy’ and are now roomies/besties/sisters – simply put: family. It’s so wonderful to see how far they’ve come.

Lucy realizes that there’s no way she can deny anything here anymore. Which means that something must have happened that made it perfectly clear to Tamara that it wasn’t just a friendly get together between two friends, but that they’re actually together together now. No, I’m totally not imagining them making out like teenagers in his truck. Nope. Not at all.

Lucy lets her bag fall to the floor unceremoniously, almost literally dropping the weight that’s been on her shoulders because she’s been keeping her relationship with Tim a secret. Finally, there’s at least one person she can share this with. “Urgh. Thank god! I am so over coming up with cover stories.” Yeah, I’d be, too. 

She quickly moves around the couch to sit down on it in front of Tamara as she says it. And that girl needs details. “Ok, why the big secret? You’re both single.” Well, technically they’re not. Not anymore, at least. Lucy was single for all of three minutes before Tim asked her out. But Tamara’s asking what we’re all wondering. Why are you still hiding this? Yes, we have the job issue, but that could be taken care of so you could be together officially. What’s holding you back?

“I mean, we’re just keeping it under wraps until we figure things out.” Okay. That makes sense. Neither one of them is ready to face those professional changes yet, are they? Because it’s such a big part of who they are. Working together is how they met. How they got to know each other. It’s where they fell in love with each other. It’s hard having to let that go. 

But they will have to, eventually. Nope, I don’t think I’m liking this any more than they are. Because it’s how we fell in love with these two, as well. Side by side, riding together in the shop. Okay, they haven’t done that regularly for quite some time, but still. 

And Tamara catches on remarkably quickly. So she lets it be and switches topics. Ish. “Well, if you ever need me to, uh, clear out for the night, you know, play my music real loud, just let me know.” Ooh, did she really just go there? Wow. These two must be as close as we all think they are for her to be comfortable enough to talk about this kind of thing. 

Lucy’s trying to hide her laugh by pressing her lips together because she did not expect that from her little sis. “We’re not sleeping together.” Now that’s got Tamara intrigued. And confused. Look at her reaction. She can’t think of any reason why these two would not have slept together at this point. She clearly was not expecting that. “Why not?”

Lucy takes a moment before she answers. “We’re… taking it slow. We wanna do this right.” There we have it. She wants to make sure she doesn’t screw anything up. Not that sleeping together would do that. But she wants to just be with him before going any further. And again, I admire her for that. And she says we. Because she knows that they’re in this together. And that Tim respects her choices and wishes. 

“So, you’re not sure how you feel?” Again, Tamara can’t really come up with any reason as to why they haven’t done it yet other than this. Because that would explain why they’re holding off on that. She doesn’t know how long they’ve been together, but she knows that it’s weird for Lucy not to have slept with him yet. And they’re both adults, right? 

“No, I know exactly how I feel. I mean, this is the most amazing relationship I’ve been in since… ever.” Wow. It’s only been a few weeks, they haven’t even taken each other’s clothes of, and yet, she knows this is the most amazing relationship she’s ever had. Yup, girl is in love. And I couldn’t be happier with that knowledge. Because it’s so amazing to hear her say that out loud. But it’s just making Tamara wonder even more. 

“Okay, and you’re waiting why, again?” Yeah Lucy, why are you waiting? Well, we kind of know why. She and Tim still haven’t talked about the obvious elephant in the room: he’s her boss. They can’t actually be together because the LAPD doesn’t allow it. But she considers Tamara’s point of view. ‘You know you love each other, you’re happy, why are you waiting?’

Which is what gives us one of the most unexpected little Chenford moments in TR history. Okay, that sounded dramatic, and it wasn’t even unexpected anymore when the episode actually aired, because we’d seen the sneak peek, but still – unexpected that it happened at all. Tim and Lucy greet each other in the parking lot before their shift, moving to walk side by side and falling into step. Both of them reach for the other. Tim ‘I hate public displays of affection’ Bradford can’t keep his hand to himself and taps her thigh while she brushes his hand with hers.

I can’t believe this moment actually happened. These two don’t care that they’re surrounded by a dozen cops who could’ve spotted their little flirty gestures. Also, they saw each other, what, a few hours before and yet, can’t keep their hands to themselves? Gosh, I love them. They’re so in love. 

I love that Tim is willing to display his affection. We barely saw any of that with his previous girlfriends, and definitely not in public. Him and Blondie Bitchface barely treated each other as if they were dating. It all just felt forced. But with Lucy, it’s natural. Because he adores her and wants to be close to her at all times. And look at that damn smile. Oh, our boy is so. Freaking. Happy. 

Lucy takes a moment to recollect herself before she lets Tim know: “Uhm, tonight is the night.” We all know this was coming thanks to the promo and sneak peek, but Tim definitely did not. He turns to look at her and furrows his brows. Something tells me that they must’ve had a moment or two where they were close to crossing that final line, but Lucy said not yet; not tonight. So he’s pleasantly surprised with where this conversation is going. “Really?”

And look at the way Lucy’s smiling at him before he asks. Yeah, she’s definitely enjoying being able to catch him off guard like this. “Yes, really,” she says in a tone of voice that has me going weak. And leaves no room for questioning. How is Tim supposed to say no to that? Look at that excited smile once he realizes that she means what he thinks she meant. And then he doesn’t miss a beat. Because he’s been ready for that for a while. 

“My place or yours? Jealous dog, or nosy roommate?” And, omg. I’m only now fully realizing the heavy side eye she gives him while he’s talking. Yup. She’s ready, too. But as the words register, she stops walking and lets him know that “Tamara knows.” Whoops. Tim ain’t looking too happy about it. “What? You told her?!” “No, she has eyes. I didn’t have to.”

Uhm, Lucy. Yes, that is true. But what about the all the other people in your lives? Do they not have eyes, too? Do you really think you’ve been keeping this from everybody? I am certain that some of the people they’re closest to have figured it out. Or suspect there’s something going on. Both Grey and Aaron have definitely seen the change. Aaron maybe even more so than anyone else because he’s been riding with both of them. He’s also the only person, aside from Tim, who knew that she wanted to break up with Assford.  

Lucy keeps talking. Yes, Tamara knows, “But, she is staying at her friends tonight, so.” Soooo, he can come over and they can do stuff. Somebody please tell these two to stop looking at each other all hot and bothered in front of the station. At this rate, everyone will know without either one of them needing to say a word. 

“Hey.” Oh, thank god. Or in this case, Grey. Watch how fast they snap out of their little bubble, put a foot of distance between them and turn toward Grey. They can try all they want, but he definitely saw them looking at each other. Oooh, if he didn’t suspect before, which he totally did, he definitely does now. “Coincidence, I was just gonna call you. Lopez needs Aaron’s help on a surveillance. So I was thinking, why don’t you two ride together today?” 

They share a quick look before answering. “Great.” “Yeah, whatever you need, sir.” 

Aaaand, more reason for Grey to suspect something’s happening between them. Remember how uncomfortable they were at the idea of having to ride together again in 5x08? And now they share one quick look and agree with no hesitation? Yeah, they’re really making this easy for him. 

Also, I’m convinced that Grey takes the opportunity here to hopefully make them realize that they need to talk about the work thing and eventually officially let him know. He’s let them be since he noticed the change in their relationship, but he’s still a professional. He can’t in good conscience let them work together like this for too much longer. He’s subtly trying to give them a nudge in the right direction.

Grey walks off, leaving Tim and Lucy standing in the parking lot.

“Mmmh, this is gonna be awkward.” I have to agree with Lucy here. Before, they were going into work thinking they’d just see each other at the end of shift. They could spend the entire day thinking about what’s gonna happen later that night, but it’d be fine because they’re not together all the time. Now, they have to spend the rest of the day in close proximity knowing what they wanna do later. That does sound a little awkward. 

They start walking toward the entrance, immediately gravitating toward each other again. They literally can’t stay apart from each other, it’s like they’re attached at the hip. And I just love how comfortable they are with that. 

Anyway. Tim disagrees with her. “Doesn’t have to be. We’ve ridden together hundreds of times.” “Never as a couple.” COUPLE! It is now in fact canon that one of them has referred to them as a couple. And Lucy’s the one saying it first! Nope, I’m not freaking out. 

But she has a point. This is different. 

“On the streets we won’t be.” Haha, Timothy. You keep telling yourself that you can completely separate professional and personal here. If you could, you two wouldn’t even be dating in the first place. “So, are you telling me that you’re not gonna be thinking about tonight?” (Does she say so or sir? I still don’t know.) And oh, now she’s the one holding the door open for him? How I love these two. He takes a beat before, very unconvincingly, answering “Not at all. Thank you.” 

Lucy looks at him as he walks inside. “Me neither,” she says as she proceeds to drop her gaze to check out his ass. Lucy, my girl. You’re very subtle. Don’t be shocked if half the station’s already suspecting you’re together. You’re already kind of acting as if everybody knows. How bad is this going to be once it’s actually official? 

Moving on. 

“I could tell Grey I got food poisoning.” Interesting. I love how much Lucy doesn’t want them to ride together today. But I have to wonder why. Is it more than just about what she’d planned for tonight? Or is it also a way of avoiding that talk they don’t seem to want to have yet? “Just to get out of riding with me?” Yup, Tim ain’t happy that she wants to get out of this. He likes spending time with her, no matter where it is. 

“Yeah. I mean, I get the day off. We avoid all this weirdness. Wins all around.” “You’re overthinking this. We leave our personal life at the door. Just like always.” Again, Timothy. If you had ever been able to do that with Lucy, you wouldn’t be dating. It’s been personal from day one. And it’s only gotten more personal since then. 

“Oh, and you can just shut it off? At 7:59, I’m your girlfriend.” His WHAT?! I’ll be honest. I squealed so loud that I feared I’d woken up one of my neighbors at two in the morning (hi to all my fellow Europeans out there). I was NOT expecting Lucy Chen, the woman who calls the guys she dates WIP rather than boyfriend, referring to herself as Tim’s girlfriend after a matter of weeks of being with him. 

Time and time again, she’s shown that this relationship with Tim is different to all her previous ones. And I love the progress here. She just wasn’t with the right person before. She tried to keep everyone at a distance as much as possible because she didn’t want to commit to anybody. Yes, she dated them, but that’s in part because it was fun to be with someone because at least she’d be with someone. 

But none of those relationships ever had a chance of lasting. The guys always seemed more invested than her. And the one guy we know that she actually referred to as her boyfriend is the one who cheated on her with her best friend. It’s hard to fully trust and commit to someone after that. Especially when you have Vanessa and Patrick Chen as your parents. 

But she’s found the one exception in Tim. So she’s perfectly happy to acknowledge their relationship for what it is. Because she trusts him. And she has faith in them to be able to make this work, no matter what. 

“At 8:01, I’m – I’m your what? Your subordinate?” “Yeah.” Tim looks very unimpressed. He can’t believe she doesn’t believe that he can separate the two. But Lucy knows better. “Really? Hmm.” She then proceeds to do this cute little pose as if she were asking ‘So how do I look? Notice anything?’ And oh, yup. Something seems a little off. But I couldn’t put my finger on it, either. “What?” asks Tim as he’s kind of mirroring her stance, totally oblivious. 

“My duty belt. My taser is on the wrong side. Normally you’d be all over me for something like this.” Oh, the taser, duh. Damn, I’m blind. Anyway. Lucy points it out: ‘normally.’ Because that’s what you’d kind of expect from Tim, right? On the job, he’s always been more of a hardass, especially while she was his rookie. Sure, he’s softened a bit toward her over time, but ultimately, he always made sure to let her know when she did something wrong. And not always in kind. 

So Lucy has a valid point. But we also know what he’s willing to do for the people he loves. We know what he almost did for Isabel. There’s no doubt he’d do the same for Lucy. 

“You did that on purpose?” “Mh-mh.” “You don’t do Tim Tests. I do Tim Tests.” “Well, that’s cause this isn’t a Tim Test. It’s a Lucy Lesson.” I cannot with these two. They really are two parts of one whole. Tim Tests, Lucy Lessons. What are they gonna put their future children through? Chenford Challenges? “And admit it. You are taking it easy on me. We’re not even on duty yet and our dynamic has changed.” 

And another little “Lucy arm touch”. Girl, your love is showing. And Tim is, again, less than impressed by what she has to say. He’s really not enjoying this and wants it to be over. “Get in the car.” “It’s called a shop.” Oh, the Lucy sass. I love it. Unlike Tim in this moment. He just stares at her and motions his finger for her to just get in the car. She smirks at him while she closes the trunk. 

I really should’ve seen what was coming from a mile away, but I didn’t.

When we next see them, they’re casually strolling down the sidewalk side by side, both holding to-go coffee cups in their hands. Lucy stops him with another little arm touch to get his attention. “Hey. So, you haven’t noticed?” I admit, I was expecting another ‘what?’ from Tim. But this time, he knew what she meant. “That you’re carrying your coffee in your gun hand? Of course I did. I just haven’t said anything because these Lucy Lessons are pointless.” 

Oh, Tim’s still a little grumpy about the whole thing. But at least he knew to expect another lesson. “You really don’t think you’re treating me differently?” I can answer this for Tim. No, he doesn’t. But he is, actually. We all remember 2x19, when he snapped at her for carrying the police tape in her gun hand instead of her left. His reaction now is the complete opposite. Tim, why are you denying this?

“You’re not a rookie. You wanna change up your duty belt, carry your coffee in your right hand, it’s up to you. You know. This isn’t about us. I’d give Thorsen the same leeway.” Would you though, Tim? No, she’s not a rookie anymore, and neither is Aaron. But that hasn’t stopped him from chastising them when they did something wrong, which would include keeping their gun hand free. So of course it is about them, Tim’s just in denial here. 

Why? Because Tim Bradford doesn’t like change. But he knows, deep down, that their work relationship has to change at some point in order for them to build a lasting personal and romantic relationship.  

And Lucy doesn’t believe him when he says it, either. She hums a very disbelieving mh-mh, definitely not buying it. I actually think it’s fascinating that Tim isn’t the one to consider the work issue, at all, as it seems. I always thought that they wouldn’t get together because Tim would never date a subordinate officer and break rules that way. I expected him to be like ‘Ok, no. We can’t do this. I want to, but we can’t’. 

I fully expected them to not get together until after they’d sorted out that problem. So now for Lucy to be the one to actually think about this and Tim being ignorant about it? Plot twist I did not see coming. But again, it makes sense, actually. Because Tim doesn’t like change.

They’re interrupted by a dispenser guy looking for help because another one, who we later learn is called Sergio, is threatening his business by parking his pot dispensary van basically in front of his store. I won’t go over this scene in detail, but will point out a few things. 

First, Tim just snatching the coffee cup out of Lucy’s hand to put aside. He’s always had a thing for snatching things out of her hand, and I don’t know why I enjoy that so much. But I’m glad the tradition continues. Second, they fall into an easy rhythm, working together seamlessly. And I don’t even have to point out the mirrored stances, do I? Third, their expressions when Sergio climbs into the van but can’t get away because he doesn’t have his keys. Perfection. And lastly, Tim’s “I don’t have time for this” as he grabs his radio. The whole scene is hilarious, but that last part always sends me. 

We jump to the station, where they’re processing Sergio. “Okay, so we are citing you out, which means we will not be talking your fingerprints or your mug shots as long as you promise to show up in court.” “Anything to get out of here.” Sergio grabs the bag after Lucy’s taken it out of the lockers and put it down in front of him. “Wait a minute. Where are my earrings?” “I put them in the bag.” “Sure you did. They’re a half carat each.” Only now is Tim looking up from his paperwork. Surely this guy isn’t insinuating that his girlfriend stole something, is he? 

“I didn’t take your earrings. I know they were in there.” “Must be a nice perk of the job. Pocket whatever catches your eye.” Oh, yeah. Tim’s a little pissed now. Look at the way he’s looking at Sergio. No one is allowed to accuse Lucy, of all people, of stealing. So he chimes in. “Sir, no one stole anything.” “This is robbery. Wait a minute. You had your gun – this is armed robbery.” Woah, woops. This guy ain’t holding back. 

“Ok, I’m sure your earrings will turn up and we’ll call you when we have them.” Is it just me or was Tim intentionally looking at Lucy for a few seconds while saying that as if to gauge her reaction? Like he was making sure that they’re on the same page and nothing was actually handled wrong? I don’t know, but while I was writing this, that look seemed a little calculating after staring at it for way too long. Or maybe it was just his way of saying ‘don’t worry, I got your back. You did nothing wrong’.

Guess I will never know. For now I’m a little undecided, but considering how the episode continues, it might’ve just been that reassuring ‘I got you’ look. 

Sergio is still pissed and demands a receipt, but Lucy tells him they don’t issue those. ”Look, it’s all in the police report. If you want to file a complaint, you can do so at the front desk on your way out.” He’s still grumpy when he leaves. Lucy turns back toward Tim: “I didn’t take the earrings.” “I know.” Ok, so maybe that look really was just a reassurance that he got her back, and I started reading too much into it while rewatching over and over again. Woopsie. Apologies for this little mess. Anyway.

“This stuff happens sometimes.” Look at you Tim. Totally defending your girl. But Lucy doesn’t like that. “No, it doesn’t. Not to me. God, I’ve been so focused on us. Did I screw up?” She looks at him a little pleadingly: ‘Tell me I didn’t make a mistake because I was the one too focused on us.’ And Tim doesn’t like that option, either. Because that would mean that he was part of the reason she screwed up. And that would be the worst thing for him. 

He doesn’t want her to fail in her job. Ever. But even less so if he thinks he was part of the problem or the catalyst for it. No, she would never blame him. And neither would any of us. But Tim is a master at blaming himself for things he’s not actually to blame for. So if Lucy did in fact screw up, he’d have to write her up. Because he’s the supervisor patrol sergeant, he takes care of these things. He’d be the reason she might get punished. 

And that just won’t do. 

Which is why they spend the next several minutes (hours?) looking for those earrings. But no luck. They can’t find them. Tim will literally not give up. “We’ll keep checking until we find them.” But Lucy reminds him that he needs to report it. “Wait. Okay, okay, okay, look. You need to file a memorandum with the chief. It’s protocol. I get it.” She seems perfectly content with the fact that he’ll have to do this. She’s not scared of what might happen to her. She just needs him to accept that he’ll have to report her soon. 

Tim’s not giving in though. “We’re not there yet.” “Well, how long can it wait?” “I have discretion with things like this. We find the earrings, no paperwork necessary.” ”But if we don’t, you need to report me to IA.” He’s staring at her with wide eyes and a slightly opened mouth, appalled at the idea of having to report her. So he thinks of one last possibility. “Maybe janitorial swept them up.” He stands up and walks off, leaving Lucy very confused and disbelieving that he would just not give up and report her. 

When Lucy comes home, we see Tamara packing a bag, ready to go to her friend’s house, leaving the place for Lucy and Tim. “Sorry! I meant to be outta here by now!” But there’s no Tim. Lucy acknowledges Tamara with a deep sigh, which makes her turn back around and look at her. “Don’t worry about it. We cancelled our date.” 

Can I just say how much I love the fact that these two are close enough for Lucy to just walk into Tamara’s room and make herself comfortable on her bed? They really have come so incredibly far. 

We can see that Tamara is a little surprised. “What happened?” “Well, Tim and I rode together today, and it really drove home all of the problems with dating your boss.” Oh, right to the point Lucy. But she’s right. There isn’t just one problem, there are several. Tim being her boss is number one. One of them, or both, losing focus and potentially making mistakes because they’re together is number two. Tim not wanting to report her when she makes mistakes is number three. Basically ignoring the fact that there are problems is number four. 

Yes, I’m looking at you, Timothy. 

And Tamara knows it, too. “It did seem tricky, but I didn’t wanna say anything.” Because they’re finally together. Because she doesn’t want to disrupt their happiness. Because she knows that they have to get there on their own and figure it out themselves. 

“Does that mean you guys are breaking up?” NO. Don’t even put that out there, please. These two have been through so much together, I’m sure they’ll figure it out. But I get why Tamara would immediately jump to worst case scenario. I don’t think she’s had a lot of good examples of healthy relationships in her life. Hell, even Lucy herself hasn’t exactly been a great example. Tamara saw her relationship with the WIP. 

But Lucy isn’t even entertaining that idea. “No. We’ll figure out how to make it work.” 

Look at her being totally content that they’ll figure it all out. Breaking up isn’t even an option for her. They’ve made it this far, no way is she giving up now. I’m glad we’re on the same page here, Lucy. Tamara is not fully convinced yet, though. “Great. How?” 

Again, I don’t blame her for being sceptic. She doesn’t know everything, but she knows enough to know that something’s gotta change for them at work. But given everything she knows about Lucy and her past relationships and semi-commitment, and everything she knows about Tim and him being a creature of habit (because everybody who’s known him for longer than a second knows that), it seems almost impossible to her at the moment to see how they could make it work. 

I was always very excited, if not a little scared, to see how they would handle the work issue whenever they decided to make Chenford canon. We didn’t know what to expect going into the episode, so this was kind of the point for me to really start being scared. Even though I had complete faith in Tim and Lucy to work it out together, because that ‘how’ just stuck with me, and TV shows have a tendency to make things more dramatic than they have to be. But given the relative drama-free way they made them canon, I really didn’t need to worry about this at all, did I?

Tamara opens the door sometime later, and we see Tim standing there, both hands in his pockets. Tamara turns around without saying anything to him, instead choosing to let Lucy know “Lucy, your boyfriend’s here!” 

Wow. Not only did we get Lucy calling them a couple and herself Tim’s girlfriend earlier, now we have someone referring to Tim as Lucy’s boyfriend. We just keep on winning with this episode, don’t we. But I cannot get over Tim’s reaction here. That tiny smile turns into a frown so fast. I’m cackling. 

I still don’t know how to fully interpret it, to be honest. Is he surprised to hear someone refer to him as Lucy’s boyfriend? Is he surprised with how easily she says it? Does he not want her to use that title? Okay, I think we can rule out that last one. But still, his expression is pure gold here. And I am choosing to believe it’s because it’s the first time he’s heard it; makes it all more real once you hear it from someone else. 

“Did she tell you I figured it out on my own? I’d make a great detective.” “I have no doubt.” I love how supportive he is of her here. Not only have Lucy and Tamara come a long way, but Tim and Tamara have as well. She went from simply being Lucy’s puppy to someone he genuinely cares for and supports. They’re already such a cute little family. 

Have I mentioned Tim just casually walking into the apartment without actually being invited in? No? Okay. Then I have now. Because he doesn’t need an invitation anymore, he’s always welcome in Lucy’s space now. And Tamara’s, too. He’s not an outsider looking in anymore. He finally gets to be a part of Lucy’s life the way he’s wanted for longer than he’s willing to admit. 

Lucy emerges from her bedroom. “Hey. I thought we cancelled.” “Uh, we didn’t.” “Oh.” So Tim was still expecting something tonight? Or did he just wanna talk about work and how to proceed with the earring situation? Either way, he just wants to spend more time with his girlfriend. Wow, we can actually say that now. This is still wild. 

Also, note how Lucy didn’t correct Tamara when she called Tim boyfriend. She always made sure everyone, including the guy she was dating, knew that they were not her boyfriend, even after they’d been together for a while. Calling herself his girlfriend, not correcting someone when they call Tim her boyfriend… Lucy, I love how much you love him. 

And oh. A Chenford hug! Can you see me melting? Look at the way she slides one hand over his shoulder to the side of his neck and the other over his chest. Look at the way he bends down toward her and just totally nuzzles into her neck, taking comfort in her arms. Definitely reminds me of 4x09. No, I am not crying again. 

And with Tamara right there next to them. They can finally show their affection for each other not just to each other but in front of someone else, and I love that they don’t shy away from it and are totally comfortable with it. 

There’s a few moments of awkward silence as they look at Tamara and she’s looking at them. She seems to sense that they need to be alone and talk, and excuses herself to her room, leaving them be. Tim starts explaining why he’s there. “Ok, listen. I– I’ve been going over things from today. What if someone found the earrings a-and assumed they belonged to a female officer, so they left them in the women’s locker room.” Okay, so earring situation it is. 

Also, first: I did not catch that look on Lucy’s face right before they switch angles after Tim says ‘today’ when I first watched the episode. She is enjoying something here. That is screaming smug and mischievous. We just don’t know why. Second: I know I mentioned how Tim is now welcome in Lucy’s space, but I just adore the way he feels comfortable enough to just walk around her apartment and sit down at the kitchen counter. Third: he’s clearly been at her place many times before this since they started dating. 

And lastly: he is still trying to find a way to not have to report Lucy. Damn, he really doesn’t want to have to do this. But Lucy knows that he can’t avoid it forever. 

“Yeah, I checked already. I mean, come on. Y-you have to report it now.” “I know.” Look at the way he keeps his eyes closed for that extra second before answering. He is not liking this. At all. Yes, he knows he has to do it, but he’s still hesitant. He doesn’t want to be the reason Lucy might have to face whatever consequences there are for being accused of stealing. “I mean, if it was Aaron, you would’ve reported him already.” 

“I know. But it’s not Aaron. I-It’s you.” And there we have it. The confirmation that Tim will follow his heart instead of his head when it comes to the people he loves. Really, when it comes to Lucy. Because over time she’s come to be more important than anything else. He’s finally found the right person, he’s not willing to risk anything because of his job. And remember, this is the same guy who laid into Lucy for not reporting him for suicidal ideation in 2x01. She was protecting him and all he did was get mad at her. But now he is the one trying to turn a blind eye and protect her. He really has come such a long way. Oh, the things love can do to a man. 

“And you can’t be subjective when it comes to me, right?” All he can do is shake his head. No, he really can’t. He wants to, but he can’t. Because Lucy is more important than following protocol, no matter how wrong it is from a professional point of view. And he knows it and doesn’t like it. We all know he would definitely report her eventually, because he has to. Lucy is his voice of reason and would never let him cover for her and her mistakes. 

Lucy hums a “Mh-hmm.” She totally knew it. “And thus endeth the Lucy Lesson.” Okay. Well played, Lucy. Well played. I should’ve, but I did not see this coming. At all. And Tim didn’t, either. “The what? The earrings were never missing?” I am dying at the way he said that ‘what’. He’s so exasperated but damn. Lucy is having the time of her life. Listen to her laughs. Once more, she got him. I hope they never change, because this is just another chapter of their awesome ‘prank war’.

“Nope. I set them aside and gave them back to Sergio after work.” “That’s evil. And impressive. And evil.” “I know, but – you weren’t facing the problem.” She is, once again, absolutely right. He wasn’t facing it. He was trying his best to ignore it. But they can’t ignore it for much longer. Even less so now that they know that he really can’t stay subjective with her. 

“Okay. Well, now I am. So what do we do?” We. Ever since they started dating, it’s been a we instead of an I. And I love that. Because they’re facing these problems together, not apart. They’ll find a way to work it all out together. They’ve finally made it here, there isn’t a world in which they won’t figure it out together. I love how absolutely sure they are with and of each other. And I appreciate TR for making them deal with this so maturely. There’s no unnecessary fighting or arguing. 

It's the next day, and Tim and Lucy are riding together again. They’re still brainstorming what to do about the work situation. “We only have two real options.” “Break up or one of leaves Mid-Wilshire.” Again, straight to the point. They both know there’s not many possibilities here. Well, two, to be exact, as Lucy points out and Tim fills in the gaps. It’s either this, or that. 

Lucy is quick to jump in. “It should be me.” Wow. Neither one of them entertained the idea of breaking up for even a fraction of a second. It was silently agreed that that was not an option. And I am losing it again. Because that speaks volumes. They danced around each other for so long, hid their true feelings from each other for months before taking the leap, but it’s only taken a few weeks of dating for them to be absolutely confident in their relationship and sure of their commitment to each other.

Lucy doesn’t even blink before offering to be the one to leave. She’s willing to change something professionally? Humongous. Because we’ve never seen Lucy so committed to anyone before. And I love that for her. And for Tim. 

But Tim doesn’t like that idea. “No. No, you love it here.” “No, I do, but –“ Lucy knows that Tim’s a creature of habit who needs stability. She knows how much he loves patrol. She doesn’t want him to compromise that for her and their relationship. “There isn’t an open sergeant supervisor job anywhere else in the division. I checked. Which means you would have to take a demotion, and that’s not happening. So…” 

So, she’s thought this through. She looked up available options and saw that there wasn’t anything that would be fitting for Tim (does that mean she also knows about the position Grey offers Tim later?). So she offers to be the one to transfer, even though she knows that means she’ll have to prove herself all over again. 

But it’s the lesser evil for her because she can easily go to a different station as a P2, but he can’t just transfer anywhere because there’d have to be an available supervisor position for him first for her to be okay with that. 

“Lucy, I –“ He doesn’t look happy at the thought of her leaving Mid-Wilshire. Because he doesn’t want the burden to fall on her. But Lucy’s quick to stop him. “No, it’ll be fine. Rookies leave their first station after making P2 all the time.” She doesn’t sound thrilled at the prospect either, but she knows that that’s the only way they can be together without hiding and without him having to take a demotion. 

“That’s true.” He might be agreeing with her here, but he’s still not loving the idea of her leaving. She looks over at him. “So. This is the best move, right?” She’s actively turning her attention toward him because she’s not just making this decision on her own. She wants his input because his opinion matters. This isn’t just about her, it’s about both of them, so they’re both included in the decision-making process. 

“Maybe. But we don’t have to decide right now.” Oh, he still doesn’t want to face it, does he? But the look toward her after she turns her gaze back forward? Wow. That basically screams, “Oh, she would actually do this for us.” He’s not expecting to be more important than her job and be put first. Because in his previous relationships, he had to be the one to make all the sacrifices, no debate. 

But Lucy’s willing to be the one to sacrifice something. She knows he doesn’t like doing things he doesn’t want to. She knows he doesn’t like change. So she doesn’t even ask him to be the one to go. As much as he’s not expecting to be put ahead of anything else, she’s not expecting him to want to change something professionally, either. But maybe he would make an exception here. Because Lucy has always been different. But we’ll see.  

And again. They’re having a conversation about their relationship in front of a billion cameras. They know these shop cams are there, right? Do they not care who reviews the footage and hears their conversations? For two people who still haven’t made their relationship public, they don’t seem to be worried about that at all. (And yes, I know. This is how the show works. Where else could they have this conversation while they’re working if not in the shop or with their body cams on? But if we pretended this was real life, they’d probably have been found out a while ago.)

They hear the call from Nolan about the hostage situation with the doctor’s family. I don’t have much to say about this entire sequence except for: they’re total badasses and work together seamlessly – still. They’ve built a professional trust over the years that is hard to break. They might have started as rookie and TO, but somewhere along the way – ignoring the romantic part of it all – they’ve learned to trust each other implicitly and became partners on the job. 

But who knows how long that would work while they’re dating. We already saw a glimpse of what Tim is willing to do for Lucy with the earring situation. So that change needs to happen before something significant can even happen on duty. 

After their shift, they’re in the parking lot again. This time, they’re standing at the back of the shop, ready to unload. Tim’s opening the trunk when he tells Lucy “Nice work today.” She’s a little surprised at the compliment, but not nearly as much as she used to be, like in 4x03 after her failed attempt to prank Tim with the booties again. Why? Because getting a compliment or a ‘good job’ from Tim is not an everyday occurrence. But he’s gotten much better with it, especially with her. 

She smiles. “You, too. It’s not a bad way to end our partnership. Saving a family.” “Yeah,” he responds as Lucy picks lint off his uniform. Married, much? They��ve been together for a matter of weeks, and they’re already acting as if it’s been years. Because… it has been years, hasn’t it? They might not have been together romantically, but they’ve always had that special connection that had them acting like a married couple even when they were dating other people. Lucy’s first two shifts as his rookie just bonded them in a way that is hard to break.

Anyway. “Although, we’re – we’re still not partners,” Tim continues. There’s a slight teasing note in his voice, and it gets him the reaction from Lucy he was likely expecting. A smile and a little loving shove to the arm. “I mean, on the job, anyway,” he adds. Uhm, Timothy. You are partners on the job. You can say whatever you want – she’s your partner. But oh, wait. You’re still not admitting you’re partners on the job, but did you just tell her you’re partners in life? 

Oh, Tim. I love you. And I love your love for Lucy. 

Look at the way he looks at her. I know I’ve often mentioned this before, but I adore the way he’s just openly showing her how much he adores her now that they’re together. Because now he can. He doesn’t have to hide it and suppress his feelings for her anymore. And neither does she as she looks back at him lovingly. Have we ever seen her look at someone that way before? 

Well, actually. This reminds me of the way she looked at him when they finally got that dance at Nyla’s wedding. Damn. Girl’s been smitten for a while. How did it take them so long to get here, again? 

“It’s gonna be so weird going to a different station, knowing I’m not gonna see you all day.” “Yeah.” Oh, this is making me feel very melancholy and sad. This really is about to be the end of an era, isn’t it? I mentioned this very early in this essay, but again: we fell in love with these two in the shop, side by side. We watched them slowly but surely fall for each other in that same shop. It’s hard to imagine that being over (even though we already got a taste of it after Lucy got back from UC school). 

But this has more finality to it. Because now it really is time for a new beginning. The dating era, if you will. Or the we’re-gonna-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together era.  

Maybe it’s actually a good thing they started dating before they figured out that whole work situation. Because it gave them the time to transition from partners on the job, or whatever they were after 5x01 and until 5x08, to partners in life while still having something familiar to fall back on. 

Tim continues. “And there’s no guarantee that our shifts will sync up.” He’s talking from experience. We know him and Isabel worked in different divisions and had to sync up their shifts as best as possible. But Lucy doesn’t know what that’s like. “I hadn’t thought of that.” Lucy, stop breaking my heart. “Wait wait wait. So by doing the right thing we’re actually gonna see each other a lot less?” “Most likely.” “Nooo.” Again, stop breaking my heart, Lucy. That ‘no’ is seriously tugging on my heartstrings. 

Because this is not what she wanted when she suggested transferring. She didn’t even think about that possibility. She just wanted to do this right, so they could finally stop hiding. After Tim’s confirmative “Yeah,” Lucy turns back toward the shop. Neither one of them is happy about the possibility of seeing each other significantly less. But as Lucy goes to grab the war bags out of the trunk, watch Tim. We can practically see the wheels turning and land on: ‘no, this isn’t happening’. Right here in this moment, he decides that this isn’t how it’s gonna be. 

Lucy grabs the war bags and turns back toward Tim: “I’m gonna put in my transfer request in the morning.” Oh. She doesn’t like the prospect of not seeing Tim as much, but is still willing to transfer anyway? Wow. Because she still believes they can make it work. Because she knows it’s the right thing to do. And again: she doesn’t necessarily think Tim would want to change something. She knows him. 

But we saw that Tim had a bit of a moment of revelation right before she said it. Because he knows that neither one of them would be truly happy with that. And once more, he got confirmation that Lucy is willing to transfer, even if she doesn’t love it. 

So this is that last bit of reassurance he needs. She doesn’t love this, but is still willing to transfer so they can stay together. She’s choosing Tim. And that’s huge. For both of them. For Tim, because he’s finally put first in a relationship. For Lucy, because she’s ready to fully commit to this relationship in a way she never has before. 

And because she is, he’s taking the burden from her by taking the bags from her. 

We all see this moment for what it is: coming full circle. The guy who always made Lucy carry all the gear, even at the beginning of this episode, is now willingly taking the bags from her. And we see Lucy’s reaction to that. She’s not expecting it, hence that little move and the appreciative smile. Wow. But it’s also something more. With this little moment he’s showing her that he's willing to do something he doesn’t normally do. So, in a way, this is foreshadowing for the bigger gesture that’s coming later.   

Also, Tim’s reaction to Lucy’s reaction? That just screams ‘damn it, I’m freaking whipped’. And I love it. 

It’s after shift when Tim is knocking on Grey’s door. He didn’t even change into civvies yet, he’s still in uniform. “Got a minute?” “Sure,” Grey responds, motioning for Tim to come in. He closes the door behind him before he moves to take a seat at Grey’s desk. We know that whatever Tim has to say is important. He has to clear his throat before he starts talking. “I’ve been keeping something from you.” Grey tilts his head. He’s intrigued. Is this the moment? 

Tim takes another breath and then just lets it out. “Lucy and I started dating a few weeks ago.” Yup, Tim’s actually coming clean here. And that’s not easy. Because he’s telling his boss that he’s been dating a subordinate for weeks. That he’s dating his former rookie. That he fell in love with his former rookie. That’s a kind of vulnerability Tim doesn’t like. Because he doesn’t know how Grey will respond and if he and Lucy have to face any consequences. 

Grey takes a breath as he leans back in his chair. Ha, that little smirk. Yeah, he totally knows already. “I suspected as much.” See, he definitely saw the change in their behavior. And let’s be real. Anybody with eyes could see the change. They haven’t exactly been subtle. They could barely keep any kind of distance between them. Sure, Grey didn’t know for sure, but he knew enough. 

“Sir, we wouldn’t have lied but we… needed time to figure out how we felt.” Figure out how you felt? Maybe that’s not entirely true, because I’m sure they both know how they feel about each other. But making sure they really are on the same page about where this relationship is going and how they feel about that? Yeah, that’s definitely the case. I might be wrong, but, well. Anyway. 

“And since we’re having this talk, I assume it’s serious.” “It is,” Tim says without hesitation. There is no doubt in his mind anymore that he and Lucy are building something that’s real. Something that’s meant to last. Forever. 

“But, for it to be appropriate, I need to move out of her chain of command.” No, Grey doesn’t seem very happy at the prospect of Tim leaving patrol. He’s a great sergeant, a great supervisor, and Grey doesn’t like losing him to a different job. But he still says “Ok.” Tim’s simple ‘it is’ is enough for Grey to accept it. 

Because Grey knows that Tim, of all people, would never date a subordinate officer unless it was serious. He probably never even got close to any of his previous rookies, as far as we can tell. He seems to keep it firmly professional. But with Lucy it’s been different from day one. She had a front row seat to his heartbreak over Isabel. He let her in, couldn’t have prevented it if he’d tried. 

Lucy just managed to warm herself into his heart. He never meant to fall in love with her. It just happened. 

And Grey knows that. He’s seen happily married Tim. He’s seen heartbroken Tim after Isabel left. He’s seen him trying to find his way again but never quite getting it right. He’s seen Lucy experience the worst kind of trauma and still persevere. All the while witnessing that neither ever seemed as much like themselves as they are when they’re around each other. Because they’ve always brought out the best in each other. So he let them be for as long as he could fathom turning a blind eye on them and until they were ready to come to him.  

And he’s not planning on reprimanding the two of them or reporting them to IA. And I love that. Sure, it was against the rules. But he knows why they hid it. Because he knows them both. 

This entire scene is so powerful. We have a direct link back to when Tim asked Grey about what it would mean to transfer to the NYPD when Rachel moved. We saw how much he hated the idea of having to start over. But we also have a link back to when Grey told him he’d scored well on the sergeant’s exam and how hesitant he was to take that position at North Hollywood. Grey immediately looked over at Lucy. He knew why Tim was hesitant. 

So he knows that this relationship with Lucy isn’t just casual or something short term when Tim is willing to move out of patrol. And while Grey’s not exactly happy about it, he’s still willing to offer him a different job. But he’s also making sure that Tim knows the open spot isn’t a great position. 

“Unfortunately, there’s only one position open that will do that.” “I’ll take it.” Timothy! Oh, my heart. He doesn’t even let Grey tell him what that position is before he says he’ll take it, without hesitation. Right now, he couldn’t care less about what that position is. He only cares that it’s no longer in Lucy’s chain of command. “It’s not a great job.” Tim shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll take it.” 

Oh, my heart can‘t handle this. 

For the first time in Tim’s life – that we’ve seen – he’s willing to change his career because of a relationship, for the woman he’s with. We all know Tim’s a creature of habit, and both Lucy and Grey have even called him a control freak before. 

Tim doesn’t really like change. He likes stability, which is something he didn’t have growing up. There’s a reason he chose to join the military and then the LAPD. There’s structure. And protocols. And rules.

Yes, he’s putting his life on the line every day so there’s a certain kind of instability, but protecting people is something he’s good at. Something he trusts himself to be able to do. Even as a sergeant, he stayed on patrol. Because that’s where he wants to be, it’s what he likes. What gives him comfort. 

For Tim to change career paths, he has to feel safe and secure in his life outside of work. And Lucy is the first person in a long time, maybe ever, that has provided him with stability and safety in every possible way, long before they even started dating. 

She helped him through the Isabel stuff, didn’t leave his side in the quarantine house. She recorded audiobooks for him so he could study for the sergeant’s exam. She was there for him when he confronted his father, she showed up to the hospital even though they were still awkward with each other. She’s there when he needs her. And even when he doesn’t. She takes care of him no questions asked. 

I came across a song a while ago and part of the lyrics perfectly describe Tim’s situation here: I just don’t like change / Cause it’s so hard for me to rearrange / But with you it’s not the same / Cause now I would leave home and change my name.   

Because this relationship with Lucy is different. Yes, they’ve only been together for like a month and a half or so at this point, but Tim knows this is different. Because Lucy was ready to change stations and start over so they could stay together without hiding or breaking rules. 

She didn’t ask or expect him to switch jobs. She didn’t say: you need to go, cause I’m staying here, I don’t care what you want – my needs are more important than yours. No. She said: you, our relationship, is more important than anything else. She’s shown him that he’s more important. She offered and was willing to be the one to change stations. She put him and their relationship ahead of everything else. What other woman has ever really put him first in their relationship? 

Ashley wanted him to retire for her, Rachel moved across the country. Neither one of them even truly considered his opinion. It was ‘so this is your only option, otherwise we’re done’. Isabel lost herself to drugs because she felt she couldn’t live up to Tim’s standards. Every single relationship has manifested that ‘I don’t deserve to be loved’ feeling in his mind. 

But Lucy has always been different. Because Tim is different for her (I keep repeating myself, help). For once, him and his comfort and needs are what’s important and considered in a relationship. It’s not all take take take from Lucy and give give give from Tim. It’s a partnership. A give and take. From both of them. It’s grounded in mutual trust, and respect, and friendship. 

So he’s willing to do what he doesn’t like: change something. 

Tim Bradford, romantic at heart. But we already knew that. But it’s just so beautiful to see again.

He needed that absolute certainty that this relationship is as serious for Lucy as it is for him. Yes, she’s given him numerous indications that it was, but when you’ve experienced so much romantic trauma, you start doubting everything, whether you want to or not. 

We briefly saw that uncertainty in 5x09 in Grey’s office when Lucy still hadn’t broken up with Assford. “If you’re having second thoughts…” because some part of him still couldn’t believe that this was real. He needed that reassurance that it’s still happening, while he also made sure that she’s still on board, that he wasn’t pressuring or forcing her to do something she didn’t want to.

Lucy was quick to shut those insecurities down. “No, I – I’m not” as she looked at him with fondness. He smiled back at her, happy that she still wanted it. “Good.” I really can’t ignore those looks. They’re in Grey’s office, at work, looking at each other with so much love and affection in their eyes that I’m sure they’d forgotten where they were in that moment.  

And we saw those heart eyes again at the end of that episode, when he could finally properly ask her out on a date, and they stared at each other after she said yes. 

But back to 5x12.

So, Lucy being absolutely willing to change stations and refusing for him to even think about a demotion was that last bit of assurance that he might’ve needed. That, and the fact that neither one of them would be happy having to try and sync up schedules when working at different stations is what made him go to Grey, come clean, and take a lesser job without knowing what that job even was. 

Tim also knows that Lucy never would’ve let him go to Grey to be the one to sacrifice professionally and accept any sergeant job available, which is why he didn’t tell her. Why he went to Grey alone and before she could put in her transfer request.  

And let’s be honest. Lucy has always mattered more than his job. He took the sergeant’s exam, but didn’t transfer so he could finish training her, as already briefly mentioned. I’m almost certain that a part of him didn’t want to leave for NY because that would’ve meant leaving her, too. He made her the arresting officer on every report because she deserved the recognition, and he wanted her to succeed. 

So, in a way, it’s actually very Tim for him to take a professional step back. But he’s okay with that. Because it’s Lucy. No, he won’t be on patrol anymore, probably for the first time since he started as a rookie. 

But he’s content with that decision. Because it doesn’t matter. As long as he can be with Lucy, none of that matters. 

And he’s not giving any more than Lucy was willing to give herself. And that’s the big difference. 

We see a beautiful shot of downtown LA (Is it downtown? Someone please correct my European a** if I’m wrong.) before we see Tim and Lucy in her apartment again. He’s chilling at her kitchen counter while she’s standing on the other side. 

“So I’ve been thinking. Hollywood division would be kind of ideal.” I love that Lucy is still fully committed to that transfer. She’s already made her peace with it. She’s been thinking about which station would be the best for her to not have to commute all over town every day and has actually made a decision. I love her commitment to it all.  

She turns around, moving toward the fridge, because, yes. She’s totally cooking for her boyfriend. And I love that. We know they both love to cook, and there’s something so sweet in knowing that they’re now with someone who they can enjoy that with. And there’s something extra sweet and intimate about the fact that Tim isn’t helping her because she wants to cook for him. She totally told him to sit his butt down and chill, I’m sure of it.

“Well, it’s not necessary. I... talked to Grey and you’re looking at the new Court Liaison Sergeant.” Court Liaison?! Wow, Grey really wasn’t lying when he said that it’s not a great job. Man, our boy Timothy is really in love. He could’ve said no after Grey eventually told him what the job was, but he very obviously didn’t. The things they’re both willing to do for each other, urgh. They make me sick. 

And Lucy is shocked. Not only did he tell Grey, although, that isn’t her concern here, but he also took a very boring sounding job without telling her. She stares at him for a few moments while she closes the fridge and then moves back toward the counter. “But that’s a desk job.” Oh. This is getting worse. Not only does Tim now have to deal with the courts and lawyers and what not. But he also has to sit at a desk for it? Yeah, that’s really not a great job for him. 

“Yeah. Out of your chain of command.” He sounds so calm. He doesn’t care about the job. He just wants to be with her. Again, this is huge for Tim. He took a job without knowing what it is and even after finding out, he sticks with that decision to leave patrol. As long as it gets him out of Lucy’s chain of command so they can both stay at Mid-Wilshire, he would’ve taken any job. And he has. 

Lucy keeps staring at him. She thought they’d agreed that she’d transfer, and suddenly he’s telling her he took a desk job? Yeah, she didn’t see this coming. And watch the look on her face right before she starts moving around the counter to be closer to Tim. That’s not exactly happy. Why? Because Tim hates desk work. “You’ll be bored out of your mind.” I love that she’s only concerned about his well-being and happiness and nothing else. She doesn’t even mention the fact that he told Grey about their relationship.  

“That doesn’t matter. Look, you and I’ll get to see each other every day a-and you won’t have to travel to some, I don’t know, far away station where they’re gonna make you work the midnight shift because you’re a newbie.” “Tim, it’s–“ But he interrupts her. “It’s done. Okay? No sense in arguing about it.” Yeah, he’s right. Why argue when it’s already a done deal? Nothing she could say to him right would make him change his mind. But aww. Look at him looking at her. I’ve probably said it a few times already, but my heart is melting. 

He is so incredibly smitten. But also thankful. Because he now knows with absolute certainty that this is real. She wouldn’t have suggested to transfer if she wasn’t fully committed to him. To them. 

Lucy seems to accept it (for now). “But we’re so good at arguing.” They really are. She leans over toward him, moving her hands over his shoulders toward his neck, kissing him in a move that is so incredibly sweet and intimate. Because he just sits there and lets it happen. He murmurs a little “I know” before going in for another kiss while standing up. His right hand moves toward her thigh – because he’s a thigh man – trailing upwards to her waist while her hands slide from his shoulders down over his chest. 

“But I’m hoping we’re good at certain other things, as well.” Oh. Well, I did not see this one coming. But there it is. Because our man Timothy has been ready for this for a while. Even more so since Lucy put it on the table the day before. They’re gravitating toward each other until they’re basically pressed together from head to toe as Lucy’s hands settle on his chest. 

 “Oh?” Uhm, yup. She’s definitely on board. 

I love everything about this moment. His smile! Have we ever seen him smile like this? Then there’s the swaying, their foreheads almost touching, their noses actually touching, the overall gravitational pull toward one another, her playing with his shirt as she asks “You wanna find out right now?” 

Everything about this makes my heart flutter. Because it’s so perfectly them. 

And yeah, fine, ok. This episode only aired two weeks after the one with their first date. So Lucy’s “I wanna take things slow” seems to have been thrown out the window. 

But again. I choose to live in a world where that date happened in late November/early December, and this is therefore about six to seven-ish weeks later. (I’m not sorry for making my own timeline. I actually think 5x10 might’ve been supposed to air in December, too but got pushed back because it was a crossover and Feds had a pretty big cliffhanger they wanted to carry over to the new year. But who knows with these shows.)

Now, is seven weeks long to wait until you sleep with someone or not? For Lucy, it seems long. For both of them, really. We know they don’t usually shy away from that. They’ve known each other for years at this point so it was never about getting to know each other first. No. It was about cherishing the early stages of this new relationship. A relationship that will be the last for both of them. 

So, I’d consider it an acceptable amount of time for them to wait. We don’t know how long Lucy planned on waiting; maybe it was always just a spur of the moment kind of thing and without giving herself a timeline to keep up with, at least not past what she said in 5x10 (first & second date, first kiss). I’ve recently had the thought that she might’ve needed that reassurance about their jobs before taking that next step just as much as Tim did. 

Because dating your boss is one thing, actually sleeping with him is something else entirely.  

Maybe it’s a little out there, but it could’ve also played a part in her decision. She wants to do this relationship right, after all, and part of doing this right includes following the rules about dating within the same chain of command. It wasn’t just about making sure she didn’t screw it up; it was about making sure that every potential risk wouldn’t be a risk that could threaten their relationship. 

She wasn’t ready for this before, for many different little reasons. And that’s perfectly fine. Healthy. Admirable, even. Because no one should ever feel obligated to do something in a relationship before they’re ready and I love her for setting some boundaries (and him for accepting it so easily). It doesn’t matter that it’s Tim, and that she wants it all with him. Or maybe it does. A whole lot, actually. Because it’s Tim. Nothing has ever been more important than them and doing it the right way. 

And Lucy is definitely ready now. Because the last issue that was in their way is taken care of. They’re no longer working together, at least not within the same chain of command. They can be together now. Officially. Openly.

So she starts popping those buttons on his shirt as soon as he whispers that soft “Yeah” and before their lips even touch again. That shirt is coming off fast, dear god. And Tim came prepared. No Henley like he wore the night before when he came over. No. A button down, with snaps. Easy and fast access guaranteed. Also, the little moan from Lucy as she pushes the shirt over his shoulders? Someone send help, please. 

I die a little every time I see the way he’s looking at her as she’s admiring his body while he strips. And it’s the way that Tim, who we all know likes everything pretty clean-cut and organized, just lets his shirt fall to the floor. Seriously, I don’t know why that gives me so much satisfaction, but it does. And then there’s Lucy touching him, tracing the tip of her fingers from his sides over the v-cut toward his abdomen.

Excuse me for a second while I try to recollect myself. 

It’s so freaking intimate. 

As soon as that shirt is gone, his hands go to cradle her face while she’s moving her left to the side of his face and her right to his back, both getting lost in another passion-fueled kiss while Lucy lets out another pleased little noise. Girl is enjoying herself alright. And they keep swaying into those kisses, too. As they break apart to get a breath of air, Lucy’s hand moves down his back to settle on his waist before they go back for an even more passionate kiss. Because holy moly, Tim ain’t holding anything back anymore. 

And as they keep swaying with those kisses – really, it kinda looks like they’re dancing because they’re constantly moving, which is also what they did in that airplane bathroom – that Tim’s back is turned toward us. And we get a good look at his scars. 

There is something so poetic about seeing those scars. We could already see the bullet wound from when he got shot in the Pilot on his abdomen when he took his shirt off. But now we can see the rest. Four scars on his back – one on his neck, one on either one of his shoulder blades, another on the small of his back. 

Tim has endured so much emotional and physical trauma in his life. Here, we get to see the physical side of it. He’s scarred, but he lets himself love and be loved again. Because he trusts Lucy with everything. His life, his happiness, his heart. 

He once said that trust has to be earned. And Lucy’s earned his trust, time and time again. Because she kept showing up. She cared. She’s shown him that people are worthy of trust. That she is worthy of his trust. And that he is worthy of hers.  

And, this might be very far-fetched, but I can’t get my brain to shut up. We can see Tim’s scars, but we also see Lucy admiring him while he was taking his shirt of. Yes, she’s appreciating his body, but I also see it as a subtle metaphor that, despite all his scars – physical and emotional – she still adores him. All of him. 

No matter how scarred he might be, he’s still worthy of love. He deserves love. Because he’s so much more than just his scars or his past. 

“I got half a dozen scars. Bullet wounds. Knife wounds. Broken bottle. Then there’s the ones you can’t see. Isabel’s addiction. A dad who would tune me up on the regular. And whether I like it or not, they’re a part of me.”

Yes, it’s all part of his story, but it’s not the whole story. Those scars aren’t everything. 

He said it himself once when he confronted his father: “I’m who I am in spite of you!” 

In spite of all the pain, he chose to be the kind of man he is and not be like his father. He found a way to become his own person. And somewhere along the way, after even more heartbreak, he found a reason to become an even better version of himself. But, to be fair: that version’s been there all along. Lucy just managed to bring it (back) to the surface. 

And now he can freely look at that reason whenever he wants with so much adoration, so much love in his eyes that I’m feeling sick to my stomach because the butterflies are creating havoc in there. 

Tim just walked away from almost a decade and a half of patrol. And yet, he’s happy. He’s beaming with joy. Because he gets to be with Lucy. I know we’ve all noticed it, but I have to point it out again. We have never seen Tim so calm and at peace before. This is what finding and being with the right person will do to you. 

And he’s done the same for her. Because she was willing to walk away from her job, too. The woman who doesn’t like commitment was ready to start over professionally at a different station after being with Tim for a few weeks. 

She also has more than enough reasons to not want to put her heart out there. Her trauma might not be like the one Tim has experienced, but it’s still trauma. Her parents made sure to make her feel unlovable basically her whole life. Again, the only guy she seemed to be kind of serious about cheated on her. Others broke up with her without a second thought. So her defense mechanism became keeping guys at a romantic distance. 

Yes, she’s a very caring person who’s there for her friends and those in need – which I love, because she became the opposite of her parents whose care is always conditional. But romantically? She likes to keep her distance even when she’s in a relationship; and even though she’s often the one to make the first move. But in 5x08, she was the one who was hesitant until Tim made clear he wanted it as much as she did. That she mattered to him enough for him to be willing to risk it all. That he loved her enough to risk it.  

Tim did the opposite of her parents and every other guy before him: make her feel wanted and appreciated and loved just the way she is.  

Her willingness to transfer is such a beautiful gesture of love. No, they’re nowhere near ready to actually say those words, but they showed each other their love through these selfless gestures, no words necessary. 

They really have found their forever person. 

But back to the scene.   

And then there’s something about the way Lucy just lets her head fall back in this moment while they’re kissing right before they start walking toward her bedroom. It’s like she’s completely giving herself to him here. Because she is. Lucy “commitment phobe” Chen is one hundred percent in this. She’s ready for this next step with the only guy she’s ever loved. 

Also, I’m a sucker for their height difference. Now I just need a kiss where she’s not wearing some kind of heels. Then I’ve seen everything I needed to see. Okay, not everything, but it’s one of the things that’s been on my wish list since before they were together. 

Lucy lets out another moan as she’s smiling into that kiss as they start moving toward the bedroom. She even giggles into that kiss. Again, girl’s enjoying herself; she’s happy. One of his hands then comes up to move behind her head while the other goes to the door frame, preventing Lucy’s head from hitting the wall. He’s always been protective of her, and that only heightened after the whole Caleb thing and even more so once he realized he was in love with her. So to see this little move? Yeah, I don’t know why it makes me go feral, but it does. Because even in their haze of lust, he’s making sure she feels safe with him. 

And this entire time, we see respectful Tim. Yes, he’s the one to start the flirting and steer the conversation in that direction. But he doesn’t just go for it, he waits for her response. He’s letting her know he’s ready, but he’s also letting her decide whether she’s ready for this, too.   

And once she’s given him the verbal confirmation and he knows she is, he doesn’t hold back. He’s pretty firm with those kisses and his hands cupping her face, but: it’s not forceful. It’s passionate. It’s a mix of joy and hunger and want and desire. It’s love. You can see in the way he kisses her and cradles her face how much he loves her. 

As they continue to make out against the door frame – seriously, how is this even real?! – one of Lucy’s hands moves toward his neck, holding him close. His left moves from cradling the side of her face to her waist as they actually finally back into her bedroom. He closes the door almost all the way before fully slamming it shut, but instead of going straight for the bed, we can see that they’re still at that door. Because we can see Lucy’s hair against the not entirely see-through glass, where Tim has undoubtedly pushed her back against. They just love making out against doors, don’t they? 

Damn, these two are seriously hungry for each other. 

And after all this time, I don’t blame them. Because they deserve this. It’s time to enjoy this new intimacy. This happiness. This love. 

They’ve fought their demons, separately and together. They’ve experienced different kinds of traumas over the years and still managed to come out stronger than ever before. They’ve ignored and struggled with their feelings for far longer than they realized before finally accepting them and taking the leap together. 

And if anyone deserves to finally be this freakishly happy, it’s Tim and Lucy. 

My deepest gratitude goes, once again, to @escapismqueen. This time, she actually did kind of write parts of this, so thank you for letting me use it all and providing me with the necessary inspiration and missing words when my brain just couldn’t properly function anymore. Also, a big thank you to everyone who has taken their time to read my stuff about 5x08 and/or 5x10 and now also this. Every single one of you makes me want to keep writing. And it’s so much fun, too. I'm excited to see where this journey takes me next. 

#chenford #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #how did this get so out of hand #it feels a little all over the place so apologies if it doesn't make much sense haha #this is what i do instead of focusing on my bachelor's #someone seriously send help #i just love being in my little chenford bubble #because i love these two idiots in love #a chenford thesis

[chenfordsource]

More of a circle than a parallel, but my brain is STUCK on “do you want to come in” vs “lock the door first”

OOOOOH.

LISTEN, anon, I could write a whole thesis on the door motif for Chenford this season, especially in 5A. The thematic imagery was off the CHARTS with references/usage of doors and I'm so obsessed. Maybe one day I'll make a gifset dedicated to all of it, but until then...

Here you go, thank you for requesting!

#ask #anonymous #chenford #req

[farfarawaygirl]

Something I hope is explored/acknowledged at some point is Lucy’s childhood. When she was UC the first time, she told Salonga she spent her whole childhood at her best friend’s house and in the money heist episode, she mentioned her parents were bankrupt and had a few rough years. Plus her relationship with her parents the way it is now, I feel like there’s so much there to explore plus how that affects her relationships, with work, with money, with Tim!

I really would like to know so much more about how Lucy grew up! 

The bit about spending a lot of time at her childhood best friends house really rings true for the kid of someone (maybe both of them at the same time?) whose parent is getting a Ph. D. When I was little my mom was getting hers, and still working full time, her and my dad worked really hard and with weird hours to make sure we were able to be home most of the time! One of her peers had a kid a little older than me, who basically lived at our house for two years while the parent wrote, researched, and defended their thesis. 

I wonder when the Chen’s came to California, because did they have so much debt from having to re-do degrees? Was there some other tragic reason? Did Lucy have a childhood illness? What was the reason?

But, it’s been close to twenty years since then, so wouldn’t the Chen’s have found some financial security? Yet, Lucy has a pile of Student Loans? Did they not set her up for school, or did she reject their help? 

Lucy has also spoken about how she’s never really had a serious relationship, and we call saw how she was with Nolan - I think she liked that it was secretive, because it required less of her - and then Emmett, who she never mentioned. I’m curious to see how that would change with the right guy. *Tim Bradford*

All of these issues on the surface might make it harder for Lucy to date someone, but I genuinely think that the foundation that her and Tim have built will negate all the problems. The best thing about Chenford it that they are both able to push, and deliver criticism and the other person hears it - without seeing it as an attack. We’ve seen this as far back as Lucy calling Tim on training in season 1, and at the beginning of season 2 when Lucy and Tim clash over what happened at the quarantine house. I am really looking forward to how this all might unfold! 

#chenford #ask emma #tim bradford #Lucy Chen #the rookie

[chenfordfeels]

The Rookie 2x11 Part 2

This episode restored my belief that chenford is meant to be!

Let's look at the facts:

-Tim was the only one who had information about Caleb, he knew his full name and got a glimpse of his social media profile, and he knew those things because he butted in/because he cared.

-The moment he had confirmation that Lucy was abducted he called Angela, the only person he can lean on in times of distress. He told her that he needed her and I think that Tim not only needed her as a cop but also as emotional support.

-When he admitted that he felt guilty for what happened to Lucy, he was close to tears. The way his voice broke and the devastation in his eyes are clear indicators that Lucy means something to him. Maybe, he felt responsible to protect her as her T.O. or as her friend or deep down inside him as something more.

-Our dear boy was freaking out throughout the whole episode. He threatened the smuggler in a very intimidating you'll-never-walk-again-if-you-don't-give-me-what-I-want way and then went from being devastated, having lost all hope of saving Lucy, when they didn't find Caleb, to jumping right back on it the second Jackson found the receipts.

-He was worried but as long as he had leads there was no way he was giving up.

-Also he kept calling her Lucy. He said her name to Angela and then demanded from Jerry to tell him where Lucy was.

Before we talk about the saving and hospital scenes I need to take a moment to talk about Lucy. I spent the majority of the episode paying attention to Tim and his reactions but I have to give credit to her.

-She tried to escape and landed two punches against Caleb, one after he had pepper sprayed her.

-Even in her last moments she tried to fight to stay alive.

-Throwing the ring was such a smart move.

-She was right after all Caleb did die before her and very painfully.

-Melissa's signing and her whole acting while in the barrel was phenomenal. From breaking off the zip ties, to trying to break free, to losing hope and trying to remain calm, to signing as a way to soothe her suffering and lull herself to sleep. I felt every emotion and it was powerful.

I literally screamed when he saw the ring. He literally dug her out with his bare hands, pulled her out and brought her to life. He clutched her so tight against him while she was crying (Melissa said in their live that his badge actually bruised her eye from how hard he was holding her), let her sob in his chest while he was stroking her hair and whispering that everything would be alright.

The hospital scene was pure chenford gold!

-Tim was the first person Lucy saw when she woke up.

-She asked him if he had stayed all night, he seemed unprepared for the question and quickly denied it (but not quickly enough). Of course, Lucy didn't believe him.

-Can I point out that it wasn't her parents waiting by her bedside neither was John, her ex boyfriend, nor Jackson her close friend, roommate and fellow rookie but it was Tim Bradford her hardass T.O. who apparently has a soft spot for her.

-Tim was all soft smiles and heart eyes and he looked so vulnerable while they were talking as if he didn't believe Lucy was actually safe, that he had found her.

-He was clutching his hands together the whole time and no one can tell me it wasn't because otherwise he would have intertwined them with hers.

-The Rachel being there and coming back kind of killed me but considering that she left for work I am choosing to believe that she didn't spend the whole night at the hospital. Maybe she visited in the morning before going to work. After all hospitals don't let a bunch of people just stay in the patients' rooms and there was no place for her to sleep or even sit.

-The boys all agreeing that Lucy should never date again was a nice mood lifter and it was cute to see all three men in her life agreeing on something and acting overprotective.

-He knew her craving. He knew what she would want when she woke up. He knew her order by heart! (Yes, having the burger stored in the room was a bit weird and it raises questions but I will choose to stay on the positivity of the gesture).

-That little smile and shake of his head when he said that he knows her too well had me grinning like an idiot. I think that was the moment Tim realized that Lucy wasn't just another rookie he was training.

I loved, loved, loved this episode. It takes everything I have not to neat pick every single scene and write a thesis about the relationship between Lucy and Tim. Everything about them was amazing, their scenes were so powerful and we got to see such range of emotion from both of them, props to Melissa and Eric for their performances.

After this episode are you sold on chenford or are there still doubts? Also tell me your thoughts about Rachel being at the hospital and how the infamous veggie burger with fries and extra pickles came to be!

#chenford #tucy #tim x lucy #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie #the rookie abc #season 2 #episode 11 #review #part 2 #in sickness and in health #cutest future couple #ship them till the end of times #i'll go down with this ship #the ship has sailed #my chenford heart #they are going to be my demise #they are a perfect match #they are so precious #they are in love #soft eyes #warm smiles #melissa oneil #eric winter #undeniable chemistry

[chenfordspiral]

A Chenford Thesis on 5x10

Hi, hello. It’s me again! I’ve taken my time with this one because the creative juices just wouldn’t quite flow the way they often did with my little essay for 5x08. I’m surprised I actually managed to get this done before 5x18 ultimately kills us all. That might’ve actually given me the necessary push to finish this because I know I won’t be able to focus after Tuesday. 

Kinda surprised I wrote this at all. Because I was not planning on writing anything but the thing for 5x08. But here we are. You've all given me enough reason to get over my fears and just do this.

So, let’s get started.

Previously on The Tim&Lucy Show – uhm, I mean, The Rookie: Tim asks Lucy out on a date after they’ve finally admitted their feelings for each other. 

That can only mean one thing now: Date night is finally here! 

I love everything about this opening scene. I never would’ve expected to get a rom com like montage of Lucy and Tim stressing over what outfit to wear for their first official date. 

I get giddy every time I see this scene, seriously. 

They’re such different people, but in this moment, they do the same thing. They’ve cleaned out almost their entire closets trying to find the right thing to wear. Tim’s wearing the same pants the whole time, but cannot for the life of him decide on the right button down. 

Meanwhile, Lucy has pulled out all the dresses she’s worn that signify important moments in their journey. The green dress from Angela & Wesley’s first attempted wedding when Tim asked her to save him a dance before it all went to hell but also gave us one of the most significant Chenford moments that had them realize there might be something more between them (I love that hug). 

The dress from the horrendous double date with Blondie and the WIP, where they spent the entire time talking to each other instead of their dates. 

And then the dress she wore to Nyla’s wedding when they finally had that dance he still owed her and told her she’d be the arresting officer on future reports (she’s always been more important than his career). 

But none of those dresses are right for this occasion. It’s time to pick something that’s new. Because this is a new beginning. She just can’t decide which outfit she likes best. 

And then there’s our boy Timothy again. He’s finally frustrated enough to stop trying on different shirts and gets his phone. I don’t know what I expected, but not what happened next. 

Because I never would have imagined that Tim Bradford would stress so much that he would need to call his best friend to calm himself down. And said best friend just happens to be the woman he’s going out with. 

Yeah, I love him. I love them. 

I also love the little pout Lucy makes right before her phone rings. It’s so adorable. She goes to grab her phone, slightly nervous when she realizes it’s Tim who’s calling her, because she’s not even close to being ready to leave. “Hi, I’m almost there” she says, as she stands in the middle of the chaos she’s created trying to find the right thing to wear. 

But Tim catches on immediately. “No, no. No you’re not” because he knows her too well. Lucy grins a little guiltily at being caught, “No, I’m not, sorry. Uhm, are you?”  

“No!” Because of course he isn’t. He wants to look perfect for their date. They both do. They’re both stressing so much. And I love it. “Look, does this restaurant have a dress code?” 

I’m sorry, Tim. You’re asking her about the restaurant? Were you not the one who planned it? Or did you just google ‘most romantic restaurant in town’ and go with it?! Either way, he’s so indecisive that he needs to know if there’s certain expectations from the restaurant. Or maybe he’s just asking Lucy what she’d like to see him wear even though he’s the one who planned everything but is now so flustered that he needs her advice. 

Am I thinking about this too much? Probably. Anyway. 

“Uhh, no. I mean, you could wear cargo shorts, if you wanted.” Ha, as if, Lucy. He would never. But he’s intrigued now. Come on, we all know he knows she’s teasing him here. “Really?” he asks, taking the bait. Or pretending to, anyway. “Yeah, I mean. What does it matter as long as you’re comfortable?” 

“Nice try. That was clearly a test. And you should know better than to test the master” he says while grinning like an idiot. And Lucy just laughs while he says it and fondly rolls her eyes at his, really their, ridiculousness. 

“What are you wearing?” You did not just ask that, Timothy. I know he means it as innocently as possible, but in any other context this would sound very… suggestive, you know. And we already know Lucy’s answer to this before she can say a word: she doesn’t know. Just that she has a lot that she’s already discarded as ‘no’. And she tells him as much. 

To which he responds “Well, we are running low on time. Traffic’s getting ugly.” How long have they been married again? Oh, right. Legally speaking, zero seconds. Emotionally speaking, basically since the day they met. “Yeah, I know. It’s – it’s silly. I just need to make a decision…” Yeah, Lucy, you do. But don’t feel bad. I’m not convinced Tim’s made a final decision yet, either.

“Ah, yes. The green dress. It is decided.” “Great. I’ll… I’ll see you soon.” “Okay. Bye.” I am losing my mind over how soft their voices are here. And look at those smiles. I. Am. Melting. All the nervousness seems to have faded away for a bit. They’re all soft smiles and excitement now. They can’t wait to start this new chapter of their story. 

Lucy takes another look in the mirror after hanging up the phone, still smiling. She likes that dress; she likes the way Tim gave her a once-over and appreciated her in it. And she could hear it in his voice that he remembers how she looked, too. So, this seems fitting. Right? 

“No. God.” 

I’m cackling. Come on Lucy, you’ve already tried on everything you have in your closet. What are you gonna wear?! 

Now, before I even get into this next part, let me just say this: 

I apologize if their first date falls a bit short here. As much as I love this scene, I also kind of hate it because I still get very uncomfortable watching it. I can feel the awkwardness through my screen and it’s making me feel weird. I keep looking away, talking to myself to cover the dialogue or just skip parts of it entirely because I can’t get over the weirdness.

That being said, I will try my best to get through it at least once so I can do this justice, because it’s such an important part of Chenford’s story. But, again, apologies if it feels a bit off at times. 

So, here goes nothing then. 

We finally get to see what they’ve decided to wear. Tim‘s in the same button down as he was when he called Lucy. Now he’s got a nice suit jacket over it, looking pretty handsome. And Lucy, my girl. She chose a dress. Wow. That’s… revealing for a first date. But she looks absolutely gorgeous (yes, I have a girl crush). 

But aside from looking great in their outfits, they look very uncomfortable as they sit side by side in weird silence that’s occasionally filled with the most awkward and unnatural small talk we’ve ever seen between them. Come on, are you actually talking about bread?! 

I can’t help but cackle whenever I see Tim brushing away what I consider to be an imaginary breadcrumb to keep busy. Well, when he’s not checking her out in that gorgeous dress. Can’t blame him though, cause I am definitely looking, too. Respectfully, of course. Just like he is. He almost looks shy when he does it, actually. God, I love him. 

I’m not going to cover all the small talk here because that would be too painful for me, but I will say this. I think most of us were expecting an awkward first date, I even wrote it down somewhere right after the winter finale aired that I wanted it to be awkward. Didn’t think it would make me feel that embarrassed and uncomfortable though. 

Well done, TR. 

But it makes perfect sense. It is going to be awkward and weird when you transition from best friends to lovers. Even more so after spending months barely talking to each other after basically breaking up. They will need a bit of time to find their way in this new relationship. Yes, they know everything about each other. But being together romantically is new; it’s different. It’s a complete 180 compared to the previous few months. 

But once they do find their way, it will all be worth it. Because they’re going be so good together. 

Lucy finally breaks the awkward silence and weird small talk. “Why is this so weird? We’ve literally eaten together hundreds of times.” “Because… our other meals only ever held the promise of being shot at afterwards. You know. And not, like, naked time.”

Timothy?!

I. Am. Cackling. Again. But I can’t help it. Lucy’s reaction is just so priceless, and his expression when he realizes what he just said is sending me. I’m definitely having a good laugh. 

And yeah, his comment here is less than ideal and we can see that he regrets it as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Ok, he kind of regrets it. Look at that head tilt, shrug, and little smirk after Lucy’s ‘are you serious?!’ response. Yeah, he wants it. But it breaks the tension and the awkwardness. They can finally talk to one another. 

They’re finding their way. 

Also, can anyone blame him for going there? He knows how their “undercover” kisses went. She basically jumped him, repeatedly. It’s not too far-fetched to think that this might be happening after they’re done with dinner. But Lucy pretends not to know what he means. For now.  

“Please. I mean, we’ve seen plenty of naked people after we ate.” “Yeah, that’s… that’s not what I m–” “No no no, I know. I know, I know. I – I feel like I might… I need – I might just need you to reset your expectations a little bit.”

Look how his attention is immediately laser-focused on her and what she has to say. He doesn’t wanna miss or misinterpret anything she has to say right now. He knows this is important. 

“You’re not gonna see me naked for… a while.” 

Clearly, she doesn’t know that he already saw her bare back and literally short-circuited in Vegas. Mh. Maybe it’s a good thing they won’t be going there for a while. Gives him more time to mentally prepare himself for it. Anyway. 

I admire the way Lucy isn’t afraid of voicing her wishes here. She knows that she can be open with Tim in a way she hasn’t been able to with anyone else before. She already feels secure enough with him to let him know what she wants without fearing that he’s gonna leave. Because she knows he respects her and won’t judge her for what she wants. Or doesn’t want, just yet. 

“I mean, I don’t wanna rush into that. I wanna take things slow.” 

I love that she wants to approach this relationship differently than what we’ve seen of her with previous relationships before. Because everything with Tim is different. Because Tim is different. He’s, what I like to call, her first and only love. 

We’ve never seen Lucy in love with anyone before. We’ve never seen her heartbroken over someone she dated. With Nolan, she was frustrated that he could end things with her so easily. With Emmett, she was mad that he didn’t break up with her face to face. And with the WIP, she was the one to do the dumping. And she never called any of them her boyfriend for a reason. 

The only time we saw her heartbroken was when she thought Tim didn’t want her in 5x02. Maybe even in 4x21 when she thought he wanted to marry Blondie and she saw him fake-propose (still hate you for that, Timothy. But can I actually hate someone I love?). 

So, we know this is different for Lucy. And she knows it, too. 

Right now, she wants to take this slow. She wants to do this right. Have this date, then a second one, then their first real kiss without the pretense of UC work. “I just don’t think we should jump into bed together just because we know each other so well. I mean, do you –?”  

Because this is “the most important relationship in [her] life” after all. She wants to enjoy just finally getting to be with Tim. She wants to make sure she cherishes every single one of those early moments of what will be the last relationship of her life. When you know it’s gonna last, why rush?

And I love that Tim is so easily on board. He doesn’t question her wishes, doesn’t pressure her into anything she’s not ready for (unlike a certain former WIP). He’s accepting her pace. “Agreed.” Because he understands. She might not want to go there just yet, but he knows it’s in the future. Because he knows he’s the most important person in her life. There’s no question that this is serious for her. She just wants to do this right.

And look at the way he’s looking at her while he listens. I’m melting over here. He’s so damn smitten, my heart can’t take this. Again, I love him. Imagine this said in the way Rachel says it in ep 7x04 of Friends. That’s usually what I mean when I write that. 

“Yeah?”

You can hear the relief in Lucy’s voice and see it in her eyes. Happy that he’s understanding, that he’s okay with the way she wants to do this, and she didn’t miscalculate how he’d respond. Yes, there might’ve been a small part of her that was a bit scared that he wouldn’t understand. But at the end of the day, Tim’s always respected Lucy and what she has to say and wants. That’ll never change. 

Their first little moment of normalcy is interrupted when Tim hears the door to the restaurant open and looks over and then around himself. What are you doing, Tim? Focus on the woman sitting next to you, please. Lucy of course sees how he’s suddenly started squirming in his seat and looks over her shoulder. 

She has a little smirk on her face when she’s turning back around, already suspecting what he might be afraid of. “Are you worried someone from the station’s gonna walk in?” “What?” “You are!” “No, I…“ “Wow.” Yeah, she’s kinda enjoying his unease. 

But he’s a bit, well not exactly annoyed, but definitely not happy, either. “What are the odds?” As Lucy gestures ‘who knows,’ they’re interrupted yet again by a loud crash from the kitchen. They both look over, trying to figure out what’s going on. I really appreciate that Tim’s not annoyed at what’s happening but defends the staff because they’re working in a stressful environment. 

But because they’re cops, Lucy is on alert. Should they do something? Nope, says Tim. Let it blow over on its own. But it doesn’t. It takes a turn for the worse. Because of course it does, it’s Chenford’s first date and they cannot enjoy a moment of peace. 

Now, why does Tim have his gun and badge with him, on a date? Well, he’s a creature of habit, he needs to be prepared for every possible scenario. Still didn’t expect that part though. But I gotta say, thank you. Cause they’re one badass couple (couple!!!), working in tandem to get the situation under control and helping the chef. 

And yes, I clocked Lucy’s little touch to Tim’s arm (and it’s the second one in this entire scene already!) right before they stood up. Once more proving to me that physical touch is definitely one of her love languages. 

After it’s all handled and the guy is in cuffs and the chef’s wound is taken care of, Tim and Lucy look at one another. “What are the chances of someone from the station walking in now?” Aaaand, cue the lights, the cops have arrived. Well, busted. And Tim is more than a little frustrated at how this night has turned out. He just wanted to enjoy finally being able to go out with Lucy. 

He turns back around toward her and, holy. That barely-held-in laugh from Lucy as she looks at him? Dying. She’s enjoying this, because come on, it is kind of hilarious. 

Before, she was joking that the odds were in their favor and there was no chance in hell anyone they knew could walk in. But now it’s actually about to happen. And their names are most likely gonna be on the police report. So people will know they were there together. Having a romantic dinner. Or trying to, anyway. 

This should be interesting. 

Also, I’m seven pages in, and I’ve only covered the first two scenes? No wonder this is taking me forever to write. It can really only get worse from here. 

It’s the next day, and we see them standing together, secluded and removed from the hustle of the rest of the bullpen, deep in conversation. They immediately stop talking when Officer Jan (hi!) walks by. And I need to point out Lucy’s little pose as she tilts her head to the side in greeting. I cannot stop laughing whenever I see it. It’s so adorable and so freaking Lucy. 

Once he’s passed them, Lucy starts talking again. “Okay, we can’t deny the facts. We were both at the restaurant, it’s in the police report.” “And all we know is that the witness reports mention the fact that we were sitting together.” “Yeah.” 

Yup, there it is. Both names in the police report, countless witnesses that can attest to them sitting together… this is bad. Because they both know that what they’re doing is against the rules and they don’t seem to be in a rush to tell people. Or be ready for it. 

See, this is one of the things that surprised me about them getting together this early. And the way they did. Usually, Tim is a stickler for rules. Him dating a subordinate officer in his direct chain of command? And one he once trained, no less? That’s definitely not following the rules. He doesn’t often go against his sense of duty. I assumed this to be a big obstacle and a reason for Tim not to go for it. 

But here’s the big but. 

He’s always been willing to follow his heart instead of his head when it’s about the things and people that matter more. When it’s about the people he loves. Especially because he’s not a big fan of change. 

His world changed and shifted dramatically after he realized that he was in love with Lucy. When he pulled the plug on their professional partnership. When he was single again and had to see the woman he loves with someone else, thinking he had no chance whatsoever. Same for early season 1 Tim after Isabel left. 

There was no stability for him other than the job. 

And I don’t think he’s ready to face the fact that something will have to change eventually. And who can blame him? He’s looked for stability his whole life. 

“This is not strange,” Lucy says after looking around the station again. “Co-workers eat together, it’s a thing.” They do. But not when it’s just two of them and they’re dressed the way you two were. That and the ambiance screamed ‘date’. “At the most romantic restaurant in town?” Most romantic restaurant in town? Wow, look at you, Timothy. Going all out for your woman. Mister “I’m not trying to be romantic” proving once more that he is, in fact, a big fat romantic at heart. 

And Lucy gets it: “Right.” They really can’t deny why they were there together. After another look around the bullpen, Lucy tries a different tactic. “Well, I mean. We could come clean.” You could what? Lucy! 

I did not see this coming. And Lucy being the one to say it? Yeah, she really is in love. We know she’s not opposed to keeping a relationship a secret. She never even considered coming clean about being with Nolan years ago. And they were peers, basically. Not subordinate and superior officer like her and Tim. 

But I’ll repeat myself: Tim is different. Everything is different with him because for the first time, Lucy is actually in love and is therefore okay with telling her boss. Well, her boss’s boss, technically. She seems to be okay with all the potential professional change and backlash.  

“Are you ready for that? Are you ready for Smitty’s commentary on us… dating or the ooh’s every time we walk into the roll call room together?” 

Okay, so much to unpack here. 

First: clearly, Tim was not expecting this from her either. Look at how he looks at her right after she says it. He’s seen how Lucy likes to keep the guys she dates at arm’s length. (But that’s because none of them were you, Timothy.) Second: it’s kind of hilarious that he would assume Smitty of all people to be the one most likely to make fun of them (he won’t, btw). Third: Lucy NOT freaking out about Tim saying they’re dating?

Nope, I’m not squealing with joy over here at all. They’ve had one ‘barely-qualifies-as-a-date’ date and Lucy is perfectly content with labeling their relationship. Then again, she already called him her most important relationship before they were together, so I guess it makes sense that she’d be okay with it. 

But I’m still overjoyed that she’s so content with it all. 

And lastly: I’m sorry Timothy. But once you disclose your relationship, chances are pretty slim to none that you’ll be walking into roll call together again. You’re her superior; dating each other while still working together can’t actually happen, at least not while you’re in the same chain of command. Something’s gonna change. Seems like he’s a bit in denial here, because, again, he’s probably not fully ready for that professional change that has to happen eventually.  

And now Lucy also doesn’t seem too happy about that anymore, either. “Or we could lie.” But interesting that that wasn’t her first thought. And then it’s like a switch flipped after she said lie, because now she’s coming up with a cover story for a UC stint about drug dealers in the restaurant which just so happens to have required Tim’s help.  

One little flaw here, at least for me. You two have barely talked to each other for months, but somehow, he’s the one you asked for help? Interesting. Would that really be believable? But Tim’s on board. Because at least it’s something plausible, kind of. “Not bad.” “Thank you.” Oh, they’re so cute in this moment. 

And the moment gets interrupted by Nolan, thank you very much. All he says is “Morning,” and suddenly Tim and Lucy are rattling down their cover story. Hey, my loves. He just said ‘morning’. No need to explain yourselves when he literally hasn’t asked you anything. And Nolan is as confused as I am: “What?” 

Because really Lucy? Even though Nolan didn’t ask, aren’t you supposed to be good at lying and being convincing when telling a cover story? If he were more perceptive in this moment, he would’ve caught on immediately and you two would’ve been busted. 

Their attention is turned towards Celina and Aaron, who they can hear talking and laughing in the roll call room. They briefly discuss if anything’s going on between them before Sergeant Grey’s knocking on his office window to get their attention. Nolan excuses himself after Grey motions for Tim and Lucy to come join him. 

And yes. They look guilty. And apprehensive. Maybe even a little scared. They share a brief look before making their way over. And Tim, ever the gentleman since Lucy became his rookie, is the one to open the door and let her walk in ahead of him (thank you Eric Winter, for insisting to be the one to open the door. Nice continuity!).

But oh boy, does Lucy look even guiltier now that she’s standing in front of Grey. Tim actually looks kind of okay, but he’s already bracing himself for bad news. Also, I absolutely love that their stances mirror each other here. 

Now, we all saw the sneak peek before the episode aired, but it always surprises me again how Grey just goes in for the kill shot without warning. “I think you know how I feel about co-workers dating.” Yup, so they’re getting busted, right? And they think so, too. Look at how they immediately turn toward and look at each other. 

I won’t recite all of Grey’s speech here, but there are a few things that are pretty important. “How power dynamics can skew things” – that is for sure a not-so-subtle hint that they need to think about their obvious imbalance of power. And that he suspects there’s something happening between them. 

And watch their reactions to that. They’re clearly uncomfortable, Tim especially. Because he doesn’t want anyone to think he’s abusing his power to force Lucy into a relationship with him. We all know that’s not what’s happening, but people can be bitches. And they might also assume that she’s going to receive special treatment from him because she’s sleeping with him. 

The entire time Grey is talking, Tim and Lucy can’t seem to stand still. They keep fidgeting with their hands, looking at each other for reassurance. Waiting for the shoe to drop. 

“Feelings are bound to develop. But we can’t afford a hint of impropriety.” “We couldn’t agree more.” It’s we. They’ve been together a matter of days, but it’s already we instead of I. They’re in this together. No matter what. Tim isn’t letting her go because of some work issues. Have I mentioned that I love them? 

“Look. I don’t wanna be the old guy interfering with people’s lives. Especially their love life. But –“  Oh, here it comes. 

But then it doesn’t. Because for now, Grey is done with what he wanted to say; now, he’s switching gears. It’s no longer about Tim and Lucy, but Aaron and Celina. And it totally was about them before – he wouldn’t have had to talk about the power imbalance if it had been about Aaron and Celina from the start. 

Because, come on. He totally knows there’s something going on that wasn’t there before. He’s had a front row seat to Chenford since the day they met. He’s seen how they’ve evolved from rookie and TO who barely knew each other to best friends. He’s seen the looks and the glances. He’s seen how they’ve always gravitated toward each other, yet how distant they’ve been since Lucy came back from UC school. He saw how uncomfortable they were when he told them to ride together again. And suddenly they’re totally at ease with each other and smiling?

Yeah, he’s not blind. But he’s willing to let them be (for now) and come to him whenever they’re ready. Because they deserve to be happy. 

He’s seen them at their best and at their worst. But he’s never seen them at their happiest until now. So, he semi-subtly lets them know that they need to consider the work issue at some point, and rather sooner than later. For now though, he just wants them to talk to Aaron and Celina about the problems of dating a cop. 

He’s totally picked the right people for this… “Oh, the irony,” as Tim so eloquently puts it after they’ve agreed to talk to them and left Grey’s office. Also, I have to mention how they turned around to look toward Aaron and Celina in complete sync. They’re so in tune with one another… I love it. And he opened the door for her again. I love you, Tim. Yes, I know I know. You’re Lucy’s, but a girl can dream. 

They briefly talk about talking to Celina and Aaron and how awesome that’s going to be. “Can’t wait,” Tim says. Because that’s a disaster waiting to happen. He doesn’t talk about personal stuff in the shop unless it’s with Lucy. And Lucy can’t in good conscience talk to a fellow female officer about not dating a cop when she’s currently dating one herself. 

But Lucy wouldn’t be Lucy if she didn’t find a way anyway. So when she spots Nolan across the bullpen again, she immediately says she’ll get him to do it and walks off. Leaving Tim a bit annoyed, because “That’s cheating!” But Lucy doesn’t care and simply giggles as she walks away. 

Also: height difference! Lucy looks absolutely tiny next to Tim in this shot. Okay, she always does. But with the way she looks up at him, she looks shorter than usual. And I’m loving it. 

Update: I’m now eleven pages in and only halfway through the Chenford parts of the ep. No, I don’t have a problem at all. 

Moving along. Tim and Aaron are out patrolling. Tim looks over at him and gives in. He has to ask. Grey told him to. “You and Celina dating?” And Aaron is as surprised as anybody would be when Sergeant ‘no-personal-life-in-the-shop’ Bradford starts a conversation about personal stuff. 

I love these two together. And this scene does not disappoint, either. Aaron says it wouldn’t be a problem for him and Celina do date, as cops date all the time. But it’d be different if they were in the same chain of command. He points out all the issues I mentioned above: people assuming she’s dating an SO out of duress, him making decisions based on the relationship. In short: “It’d be a nightmare, man. One of us would probably have to transfer to a whole different station.”

And Tim’s super uncomfortable. Because that’s not where he saw the conversation going. He didn’t want to hear about all the issues he and Lucy inevitably have to deal with for the second time that day. He’s literally squirming in his seat, a bit of panic written all over his face before he deflects. “Forget I asked.” Conversation over. 

Because he still doesn’t really wanna think about the inevitable. He and Lucy can’t keep working together. No matter the fact that she’s no longer riding with him. He’s still her direct superior. Something will have to change. Again, that’s not something Tim’s a big fan of. 

Later on, after hell has broken loose, Tim and Lucy stand between a shop and the SWAT van, looking around, taking in the scene of chaos because one of the bank robbers has taken a hostage. This is now the problem they need to solve. But they take a brief moment to talk anyway. 

“Remember this morning? When dating in secret was our biggest problem?” Lucy asks while they’re surrounded by numerous cops. And body cams. Subtle, real subtle. “Feels like a million years ago.” “Yeah. Did you talk to Aaron?” “Ya.” “And?” “He neither confirmed nor denied.” “But?” “But, he pointed out that it wouldn’t be problematic because he’s not her superior and doesn’t fall in her chain of command.” 

“Oh.” Yes, Lucy looks a bit sad here. But I don’t think it’s because she’s scared he’ll break things off. He’s already made his decision when he asked her to dinner. Twice. It’s more about the fact that once again, she’s reminded that they won’t be able to continue working together anymore. And just like Tim, she’s not ready for that inevitable change yet. 

But as soon as Tim’s phone pings, alerting him that he has their hostages phone number, they’re both right back to business. Lucy doesn’t hesitate to back Tim up as they’re taking cover behind a shop door and he’s talking to the hostage and their bad guy. 

Despite all the issues pointed out by Grey and Aaron before, Lucy and Tim still manage work together seamlessly. They don’t let their relationship become an issue here. Lucy doesn’t tell Tim not to go ahead with his plan even though it’s dangerous and she’s scared for him. She knows he has to do his job. 

They’re both focused on the job.

Even when Tim and Aaron are dangling off a rooftop in their shop later that day, Tim is focused on his job. He’s not letting Aaron risk his life for him. But Aaron knows there’s something – someone – waiting for Tim to make it back safely. “You go out first. […] Sir, with all due respect, Lucy will kill me if I let you die, so I’m dead either way.” 

Aaron, I love you. He knows there’s something between them. He’s been the one closest to both of them in recent months, at least while on the job. He’s seen their interactions. And whether or not he’s aware they’re together now – he definitely has his suspicions – he knows one thing for certain: Tim and Lucy are in love. And willing to do anything for the other person. But he makes Aaron leave the shop first, anyway.

I know we all want cute, worried moments between Tim and Lucy and maybe expected one in this episode after that incident. But it makes sense not to show it, at least here. Because it emphasizes that they know the risks of the job. Just like they did with the hostage situation. Does that make it easier? No, of course not. They still worry about each other. But they don’t need those interactions after every near-death moment. 

(Would love to see some in the future, though. 5x18?)

Instead, it’s easy bantering here. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t die. You owe me a re-do on our date.” “It’s what gave me the will to live.” Gave me the will to live. O. M. G. Timothy! In a moment when he was staring death in the face, he only thought about needing to make it out to take her on another date. She makes him want to live, people. She’s his reason to live. 

Okay, I really need to calm down before I keep writing. Wow. 

“In my mind I’m hitting you right now.” “That’s good to know.” Oh, how I love their bickering. They’re still them.

Despite all the professional issues that were not-so-subtly pointed out to them today, they still don’t seem to care much, yet. They’re gonna enjoy themselves before they have to worry about any of that somewhere down the line. So, second first date under what appear to be Christmas lights it is. Yes, I’m going with Christmas lights here because in my world, this date happened in late November/early December-ish. 

Because what is time in The Rookie universe? If they can’t keep a timeline, I’m making my own and running with it.

I swoon every time I watch this scene. 

It’s the way they sit together, each having one foot on the other’s chair. There’s no tension, they’re completely at ease and relaxed. It’s so perfectly them to not have this do-over at some other fancy restaurant but at a food truck instead. Is that a traditional place to have a date? No. But when have they ever done anything the ‘traditional’ way? 

Falling in love with your former rookie or TO is already pretty non-traditional. But it’s not like they could’ve stopped it from happening. 

“Streets of Vietnam. That’s where we ended up. So I guess this is our first date.” “Mh, last night was, for sure.” Wasn’t she the one to say they needed a re-do for their first date in the scene before this one? Now it’s suddenly not the first, but the second? Interesting, Lucy. I see ya. 

“I mean, it’s a better story for the grandkids.” Grandkids?! Lucy, you keep surprising me in the best way possible. They’ve been on one date that can barely count as such, and she’s already happy to talk about something that’s decades into the future. 

Because she sees a future with him. She wants that future. She already feels secure enough to know that that’s where they’re headed. And she’s totally fine with that. Lucy ‘commitment phobe’ Chen is ready to spend the rest of her life with Tim. And that thought just completely ruined me. Again. (One of these days, my family might just have to write ‘death by Chenford’ on my tombstone.)

And Tim is as surprised as I am. “We’ve got grandkids now? Nice.” I love this for him. Because now he knows for certain that that’s something in the future. Yes, again, they’re years, decades away from that. But Lucy just confirmed that that’s what she sees for them. That that’s what she wants with him. They just started dating, and she already can’t wait to tell the story to their grandkids. 

Tim will finally be able to have that future that he’s always dreamed of. He doesn’t have to settle for anything less than what he wants. 

And Lucy’s laugh after he says ‘nice’. Oh, she is the cutest. And look at him. Man, they’re just so happy. No, neither one of them was expecting to have this kind of conversation during their second date. Sometimes you just say things without thinking them through. But then you get an unexpected yet wonderful answer in return, and it doesn’t matter anymore.

Now the only thing that matters is that they’re already on the same page. 

He’s still smiling when he turns in his seat a bit and then sees nothing good. “Do not break into that car.” He’s so exasperated. He just wants to enjoy this little date with Lucy, can’t people leave them alone and commit their crimes somewhere else, far away from them? 

But instead of getting up to arrest the guy, he simply gets out his badge (again, he doesn’t seem to go anywhere without it) and yells: “Hey moron!” before showing off said badge, and effectively scaring the guy away. And I’m cackling at Tim’s disbelieving headshake. Because it’s so Tim. 

Lucy seems to be a little surprised that he would just let him get away without even trying. “You know he’s just gonna break into a car in a different neighborhood.” Because she knows that he’s usually cop first, everything else second. 

But, once again, like at the end of 5x08, Tim and Lucy are the only thing that matters in this moment. “Well, then some other cop can arrest him,” he says when they’re finally turned toward each other again. Tim Bradford letting a would-be car thief go so he can enjoy being with the woman he loves? 

Some things really do matter more. 

Look at him looking at Lucy with such adoration. Have we ever seen Tim look at her like this before? I know we have a few good moments prior to this, but this is a whole other level. He doesn’t have to hide anything anymore. He can finally show her how much he adores her. Because now he knows it’s reciprocated.

And it’s so beautiful. Because Tim fell in love. But he would’ve kept his feelings to himself for as long as he thought he was in it alone. Hell, he probably would’ve taken them to his grave if she hadn’t blurted out how she felt in 5x08. No matter how much he wanted to explore this thing with her, he was keeping his distance, because he couldn’t take another rejection; and she seemed happy. 

But now he gets to openly show his love. Or as openly as you can when you’re keeping a relationship a secret. But: he doesn’t have to hide it from her anymore. His cards are on the table, her cards are on the table. Hiding from each other and their feelings is in the past. 

He leans toward her, cradling the side of her face with one hand to close the distance. But he’s also giving her enough space and time to stop him if she’s not ready. But she is. They’re both ready to do this. Look at the way they both smile into that kiss. Urgh, they’re so cute. So in love. 

And, omg. Tim’s other hand on her thigh? He’s not really someone to show a lot of  affection, much less in public. But here he is, touching her wherever he can because, well, now he can. He’s allowed. No, he didn’t ask but he’s keeping it respectful and without making Lucy feel uncomfortable. 

She knows he’s not one to do this too much, so maybe she’s actually enjoying it quite a lot. She is, after all, a pretty physically affectionate person, which we’ll get so see even more in the episodes after this one. It’s definitely one of her love languages (damn, I already said this once, haven’t I?). So she probably loves that that’s reciprocated.

They finally close the distance and share their first kiss. Their first real kiss. The last first kiss they’ll ever have, because we all know this is for keeps. Nothing and no one will keep them apart, I am sure of it. They’ll face every and all challenges together from here on out. 

And it’s so different from all the kisses they shared under the guise of undercover work. It’s not as heated, not as tension filled, not as obviously passionate. But it’s so sweet, so romantic, so tender. And for once, it’s actually real. And filled with all the love they feel for one another.  

For me, this is the perfect first real kiss for Tim and Lucy. Nothing fancy, nothing over the top. Just the two of them enjoying themselves outside in front of a food truck in a super sweet and yet romantic setting. And no matter how many times I’ve seen this scene already, somehow it gets even sweeter with time. 

We’ve only gotten a tiny glimpse into the Chenford dating-era, but we can see throughout the entire episode that they’re still their bickering, teasing selves. And I love that for them. And here’s a semi-lengthy explanation as to why. 

Every once in a while, my mind just wanders to little Tim never getting the kind of love from his father that he deserved. How is a child supposed to know they’re worthy of love if they have to endure so much pain and abuse? 

He thought he’d found it in Isabel. But she broke his heart, too. She left him in pieces, arguably even more broken than ever before. 

Every relationship has given him reason to think he’s unlovable. That he’s not worthy. I admire this guy for risking his heart again with Lucy. Because it’s been used and abused so many times before. 

There’s always so much wonder in his eyes when he looks at her because a part of him still doesn’t fully believe that this kindhearted, empathetic ball of sunshine actually likes him as much as he likes her. 

And there’s the relief that he’s finally found the right person. The one who will love him unconditionally. The one who already does. The one who gets him like no one else has before. The one who doesn’t give up on him. The one who takes care of him even when he doesn’t want and has never asked her to. 

And Lucy. She hasn’t had an easy childhood either. Yes, it was completely different from Tim’s, but she has her own scars from the emotional trauma inflicted by her parents who’ve always made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. 

She said it herself once. Nothing she’s ever done was enough. Not her grades, her friends, her boyfriends, her professional choices, or any choice at all, it seems. 

And with her romantic partners it’s also been pretty devastating. No, she was never as invested as she could’ve been, because she’s never actually been in love. But there’s still some form of trauma from that, too. 

So letting herself love and be loved is as difficult for her as it is for Tim. And yet, it happened. Because Tim has never made her feel like she’s not enough. Yes, he constantly challenged her and made her doubt herself as a rookie, but that was necessary in order for her to become a good cop. It was to help her be better, not belittle her like her parents did. 

She’s basically been taught to second guess every decision she’s ever made since she was a child. But Tim’s let her learn to believe in herself and her abilities. “You don’t let anyone ever tell you you can’t do something,” he said to her on her last day of training.  

Because he knows she’s capable. It took some time, but he’s learned to trust her abilities and her choices. He’s simply learned to trust her. With everything. And more than he’s ever trusted anyone else before. 

Sure, they’ve had their ups and downs, and he’s been an ass toward her in the beginning when he was lost, but ultimately, she knows she can trust him with everything, too. 

Because, just like she is for him, he’s the one who gets her like no one has before. Who takes care of her no questions asked. Who believes in her. Who doesn’t give up on her. Who loves her in a way she’s never been loved before. 

They both have enough reasons to not let themselves trust anyone with their heart. And yet, here they are, together. Completely at ease and truly happy for the first time in forever, maybe their whole lives.  

Because they’ve earned each other’s trust; tiny brick by tiny brick by tiny brick, they’ve let themselves trust each other and fall in love.

Finally, they’re with the one person who they can be themselves with. Who won’t judge. Who will support them and stay by their side no matter what. Who they can trust wholeheartedly. Who accepts and loves them the way they are. They’re finally with their person. They don’t have to change to be and make each other inexplicably happy. 

If soulmates do exist, Tim and Lucy definitely found theirs in each other. And I admire them for doing this together.

My everlasting gratitude to everyone who took some time out of their day to read, comment, reblog and/or like my Chenford thesis on 5x08. You’ve made it so much easier for me to use my recently found inspiration and keep writing. I hope this lives up to expectations and you enjoy this as much as the one for 5x08. And as always, a special thank you to @escapismqueen for her patience as I complained about my writer’s block (wow, I can actually say that now), asked questions about grammar because English is confusing, and for encouraging me to keep writing in the first place. Hope this is a nice little surprise for you tonight. 

#chenford #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #now back to (im)patiently waiting for 5x18 to air #time has not gone by fast enough #but at least i had enough time to write this and post before the ep #two more days!!! #it's gonna be wild but epic #they're gonna kill us all #because it's about chenford and java and duicy #love how they've given away nothing yet #they just confuse us more each day #back to real life now for like a day or two #a chenford thesis

[chenfordspiral]

A Chenford Thesis on 5x08

So, during my latest season 5 rewatch (thank you, hiatus nr 28593 this season), I kept getting stuck at 5x08. I could watch the Chenford scenes a hundred times a day. I’ve had a lot of time to think about why I absolutely love this episode and the way Chenford finally happened. 

Apologies if I keep repeating myself sometimes. This got way out of hand for some reason and I might’ve lost track a bit, so…

Anyway, let’s get started with my essay, or whatever this is, on how we got to the end of 5x08 and why Chenford’s development makes me weak in the knees. 

Would a big love confession scene because one of them is in danger have been nice to see in the moment? Sure. Would it have taken away from the impact of it all? Yes, yes, I think it would’ve. Because these two characters are not that. They’re private people, Tim especially, and yes, Lucy is more outgoing and once told Nolan to go for a big-ass proposal with Bailey, but when it really matters, that’s also not her. A big confession in the heat of the moment would’ve been OOC for them. The quieter, just the two of them outside way worked way better than anything else could have.

But I’m getting ahead of myself already. Let’s start at the beginning. 

All of 5x08 is the perfect lead-up to the end scene of that episode. 

Both Tim and Lucy are clearly uncomfortable at the idea of having to spend an entire shift together in the same car. They haven’t been the same with each other since they found a certain someone on Lucy’s couch and Tim encouraged her to go to UC school. 

They’ve become so much more than just colleagues to one another, but neither one of them is ready to have to face the other for the next approximately 10-12 hours. At this point, we’ve seen Lucy realize that Tim means more to her than just a friend, and we’ve definitely seen that Tim fell head-over-heals in 4x22/5x01 and just a little bit more each episode since.

So, there is nothing easy about having to be this close to each other again while thinking the other doesn’t return those romantic feelings. We see that weirdness in the shop before Lucy decides to break the silence. Without even trying, the manage to slip into a conversation that feels like them. They’re bickering like an old married couple. 

They disagree, but don’t insult each other for their different opinions – they banter back and forth, the way they have since sometime during Lucy’s rookie year. 

This wonderful moment, where we briefly saw them being them again, gets interrupted by Lucy’s idiotic WIP. Be warned, I will not be nice to this guy. I might even get through all of this without having to type out his name. Yes, I’m that petty. No, I’m not sorry. 

Lucy looks super uncomfortable right from the start. She doesn’t want to talk to this guy right now, especially not with Tim right next to her. But Assford doesn’t even register her unease. She manages to avoid having to talk very long, and couldn’t have hung up the phone any more quickly after he says he loves her. 

Now, we know Tim isn’t one for personal talk in the shop, even though Lucy’s already broken through that barrier here. But we saw the way he was avoiding even looking Lucy in the eye before she scurried off to get the war bags back at the station. He doesn’t want to have to spend so much time being so close to her. 

He doesn’t want to get involved in her personal life again. (Okay, he does, but you know what I mean.) But he clocks in on her uneasiness. And yeah, he didn’t think Lucy and the idiot he set her up with were serious enough to be talking about moving in together. So, he starts a conversation about something personal. Because he needs to know. 

“Are you two moving in together?” He looks and sounds a little broken. Because if they’re that serious, he really never has a chance. I know, he doesn’t think he has one now, but that would shut that door even more. Lucy doesn’t say yes, but she also doesn’t say no. But she does say that mr. clingy just dropped it on her earlier that day. We all see how confused and nervous she is. 

He asks if they’re happy – notice his use of ‘right?!’ at the end of that question; it’s become a pattern with them – and that moving in would be the obvious thing to do next. See, he can’t have her but still wants her to be happy. Even though he clearly doesn’t like the guy she’s with. Tim, you big selfless idiot.  

And Lucy tries to deflect, tries to convince him, and herself, that she’s happy with the guy. But we can all tell that she isn’t. And that Tim isn’t convinced either. 

The conversation is put on hold because they get called to a dispute. This might seem very random, but that couple served two purposes. One, giving an example of a couple that might be doing things better than Lucy with her WIP but still not the right way. And two, showing that sometimes, cops get called to weird scenes that seem totally random. But that’s patrol. 

Then they’re all busy trying to help the woman who’s had a bomb strapped to her neck. We see what they have to deal with on patrol, the inhuman things people do. We see them trying to handle seeing a woman killed by a bomb.  

They’re still talking about it when they’re back in the shop after it all went down. Again, they’re pulled out of the moment by her pathetic-excuse-for-a-boyfriend. This time, he seems to call to make sure she’s okay after hearing what happened on the news. But as soon as she says she’s ok, he changes course. Immediately putting pressure on her by talking about a house they should move on if she likes it. 

She hasn’t even seen the house. Let alone actually agreed to even look at houses. In the morning, she said “I’ll think about it. We’ll talk tonight.” That was not a yes. It was a ‘maybe; can we please talk about this later’. But he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t realize how much he’s bothering and smothering her right now. 

Tim only has to take one look at Lucy to see that she’s uncomfortable. He was already looking at her when she turned to glance at him, likely looking for his help to get her out of this conversation. Lucy, honey. Wanting to get out of a conversation with your WIP should ring several alarm bells. You shouldn’t need ‘saving’. 

But Tim does what he always does – making sure Lucy’s okay. So he puts on his best TO voice and tells her to stop taking personal calls while on duty. Dumbass takes the hint, but not before throwing some shade at Tim.  

Lucy takes a moment to regroup after hanging up the phone before she turns to Tim. “Thanks”. Tim nods his acknowledgement, and they both turn their focus back to work. But I’m still stuck at how Lucy looked for comfort and help from Tim and he gave it willingly. Because he wants her to be happy. And those phone calls put her on edge. 

So he did what he could do to help make her feel a bit better. I love this guy and his big-ass heart. 

The next time we see them in the shop, Lucy is looking at her phone again. Tim takes one look at her after glancing at her phone (Timmy, you bein’ kinda nosy) and starts talking again. Again, he is the one to start a conversation about personal stuff. 

He doesn’t shy away from the truth and just says it as it is: tell your idiotic WIP that you don’t wanna move in if you don’t want to move in. And I’m not sure if Lucy is just very out of tune with her feelings or what, but come on, she knows exactly what the problem is and why she doesn’t want to move in with mr. ignorance.

Every time I rewatch this episode and get to this specific scene, I cannot stop myself from saying “You know exactly what the problem is. It’s sitting right there next to you” after Lucy says she doesn’t get what the problem is. Seriously, even if I’m not actively listening, that part always gets my attention and I mutter those words. 

Lucy keeps talking, saying that she and the WIP are great together and that they never fight. Well, Tim coming in again with the truth: maybe that’s the problem. Or one of them, anyway. If you don’t fight, there’s barely any passion. Lack of friction and arguments doesn’t leave much room to improve and work on a relationship if you want to make it last. 

Lucy isn’t one to shy away from confrontation. We’ve seen her stand her ground with Tim basically since day one. Why is she not herself with Ch… oh, almost typed his name. Woops. Anyhow, we all know Lucy usually confronts what’s bothering her head-on. Why is she hiding? 

In semi-typical Chenford (or is it Lucy?)-fashion, she tries to deflect a bit here, jokingly asking if she and her can’t-read-the-room-bf should be more like the couple from the call they dealt with earlier. Tim denies, because that is not what he means. 

“Do you guys not fight because you don’t disagree on things or because you don’t think it’s worth the bother?” 

Again, right to the point. He hits the nail right on the head. We can see that Lucy realizes the latter to be true. She doesn’t argue with ADA Boring because it’s not worth it. She doesn’t put in the effort like she usually does. Why?

Well, because those arguments would immediately show that they are not compatible, and it would likely end that relationship sooner rather than later. Deep down, Lucy knows that.

Right from their first interaction, you could see that they don’t see eye-to-eye on things. Yes, her and Tim don’t agree on a lot of things, either. But she puts in that effort. Because she cares. 

This whole conversation shows that she’s staying with the dumbass not because she really wants to, but more because of guilt, fear, and the fact that she doesn’t want to commit to any guy. Well, there is one she’d love to commit to, but thinks she’ll never have the chance to. 

Guilt because she stills blames herself for the Rosalind debacle even though we all know it’s not her fault. Commitment issues because she hasn’t felt about anybody that seriously before, until... well, we’ll get to that and the fear part later. 

Tim can see that she realizes that she’s just along for the ride in that relationship, trying to commit to someone who seems great on paper but isn’t right for her. Once more, Tim tells her what he thinks.

“You deserve someone who’s worth the effort.” 

Because he wants her to be happy, because he cherishes and adores and loves her. 

Because he wants her to be in a relationship where she wants to work through the tough stuff, where she doesn’t shy away from the conflict, where she can be herself. 

Because he wants her to realize that she’s not gonna be happy with this guy when she can’t even be herself without having that relationship implode.  

Time and time again, they’ve shown us how incompatible Lucy and mr. you-can-leave-anytime-now are. Even their first encounter was indicative that this would never work out (still baffles me that she went out with him again after that double date). He seems more interested in forming her into someone he wants instead of really accepting who she is. 

And that just won’t do in a relationship. Ok, again, Tim and Lucy constantly try to make the other see things differently, but they’re not trying to change each other. At least not in a way that would totally go against who they are. They want them to be better versions of themselves. 

I mean, come on. Lucy as a lawyer? Tim retiring at 40ish? Who are these people who claim to love them? 

Tim and Lucy constantly make each other want to be better. 

And look at Lucy. Surely, she can see that montage that the Rookie SM account posted as part of the sneak peak before the episode aired play out before her eyes. All the times they’ve put in an effort. For each other. Even when they were still rookie and TO.  

She made an effort back then. Why not with her collar of a WIP? It took some time, but I’ve come to realize that the title for the episode might as well have referred to Assford’s presence in Lucy’s life and how he’s like a weight holding her down.  

The conversation seems to be over for the time being as they both turn a bit away from one another, lost in thought, especially Lucy. She absorbs everything he just said. The wheels are starting to turn in her head. 

Before either one of them can too wrapped up in thoughts, we see a car speeding past them. They discover that a second person has become victim of having a collar bomb strapped around their neck. 

I’m gonna skip over some case related moments but will say that I love how easily they slip from personal talk in the shop to being solely focused on the case and trying to find a way to help the guy. Now, let me jump right to when Creighton just takes matters into his own hands and starts cutting the bomb off with garden tools. 

It’s just a little moment in an episode with many awesome Chenford scenes, but I absolutely love how Tim reaches for Lucy to get her to cover behind the door of the shop. And then how he’s shielding her, keeping her behind him as best as possible with one hand on her shoulder and the other on her arm. 

Tim, your love for her is showing. And I’m getting emotional again. 

This entire sequence, from seeing the collar bomb on Creighton to when Tim radios in to pick up their suspect shows how easily Tim and Lucy slipped back into their partnership. He lets her take charge with the interview. They wordlessly communicate with one another. They just need to share a few looks to know what the other is thinking and move forward with the questioning. 

You can’t force this kind of connection, it’s just there. We can all see and feel it. And they probably do as well.  

We get to the last Chenford podcar scene of the episode. They’re coordinating with Harper on how to proceed after getting the last victim’s name. After, we hear Lucy’s phone going off, again. Thank god it’s not another face time call with what’s-his-name and just a message.

But even just a text is mildly pissing Lucy off. Because dude keeps sending her stuff even though she’s made it perfectly clear she wanted to talk about it with him later, not while on duty. 

Tim immediately picks up on it again and asks if it’s more listings, which, of course it is. Because ADA clueless is being an inconsiderate idiot. Even more so for sending listings for places Lucy would never even consider living, even if she wanted to move in with jackass. 

Off of her frustration, Tim works up the courage to ask something he’s probably been wondering about since the start of their day. “Do you love him?”

No, Timothy, she does not. Otherwise she’d be happy to talk to the WIP about it every chance she gets, not be completely frustrated with him. But he asks anyway because he needs to hear the answer.  

Lucy tries to deflect again, similar to the way she did when he asked if she was happy. ‘They haven’t been dating long’... which, well, is semi-true. It is the longest relationship for Lucy that we’ve seen on the show (gag). 

And it’s been roughly 10ish months at this point (thank you, TR, for the super wacky timeline. I’m deciding to go with November here, hence the 10 months, because we saw a date of Nov ’22 in 5x09; but who really knows…). 

After so long, you know whether you love someone or not. And Lucy knows she doesn’t love him but tries to avoid having to admit it right away. 

Tim seems to accept her obvious avoidance. But lets her know that dumbass loves her. So she shouldn’t lead him on if she doesn’t feel that way about him. 

I don’t know why I always get so emotional watching this. Probably because Tim’s statement could easily be about himself, too. 

And now Lucy might finally be realizing the problem. She knows that her WIP loves her (although, I’m still not convinced, because he shouldn’t be trying to change and pressure her into anything if he really did love her). 

Lucy knows that she should, theoretically, love him back. Because on paper, he seems great and she even says, “he’s so great in so many different ways”. 

I hate this line. Because time and time again, they’ve managed to show him as a not great guy. No matter how much I try, I cannot for the life of me think of him as anything but annoying and so obviously not right for Lucy. 

Anyway. Lucy proceeds to talk as she processes what’s bothering her and comes to the conclusion that “he’s just not…“ and immediately looks over at Tim before looking back out the window. Lucy, what?! 

Could you be more obvious? You basically just said you can’t love Assford because he’s not Tim. You basically just said you’re in love with Tim… cool. I’m cool. Perfectly fine. Not losing my mind over this at all. 

That was the loudest unspoken ‘you’ I’ve ever heard. And that’s the problem of it all, isn’t it? She’s realized at some point that she likes Tim more than she thought possible and seems frustrated with herself for not being able to let him go after thinking he rejected her. Frustrated with the whole situation, really.

But that’s also just it. You can’t just stop wanting someone. Yes, you try to move on when you think it’s never gonna happen, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy or happen quickly. 

Lucy seems to never truly have been in love with anyone before. Otherwise she would’ve committed to someone already, and not just tried to settle for dumbass ADA bitch. 

Finally, Lucy has voiced the problem of it all: she can’t love anybody else because somehow, she fell in love with Tim. Again, she can’t love Assford because he’s. not. Tim. Swoon. 

I’m sure Tim could feel that her gaze shifted toward him… whether he knew that’s what she almost said or not, I’m not sure. But I am sure he hoped that’s what she could mean. 

He looks over at her, trying to figure her out. But she’s already looking away, so he turns his focus back on the road. Both of them are left with their own thoughts and the case. And I can practically feel the tension through my screen. 

Tim and Lucy, my loves. Can you two please actually talk to one another? Without leaving any room for doubts, without subtext, without beating around the bush. 

Just say what you really wanna say. The other person might surprise you with their answer. 

And then we get to the last scene of the episode. Every moment has led to this. 

We see Tim sitting outside the station, alone, before we see Lucy walk up to him, getting them in the same shot together. And isn’t that just the perfect metaphor for their relationship? Tim was alone and broken when they met in the Pilot. And then there comes Lucy, sunshine personified, and bit by bit, brings light back into his life, stealing his heart along the way without even trying. 

She constantly challenged him, made him see when he was in the wrong and why, yet never judged or blamed him for things out of his control (wife who abandoned him, learning differently, childhood trauma because of an abusive father, taking the blame for everything) and made sure he knew that those things were nothing bad or to be ashamed of or his fault. 

Unlike so many other people in his life, Lucy never tried to change him. She simply brought out the person he is underneath all the tough guy exterior. She didn’t ask him to change - he wanted to be better because her opinion of him started to matter at some point. 

We might all see the difference Lucy made in Tim’s life more easily than the impact he’s had on her, but the deeper we look, the more obvious it gets. 

The Lucy from 1x01 needed to learn that the world was not as nice as we’d all sometimes wish it were. 

Tim said it himself in 3x11. She’s a kind and empathetic person who needed to see the world in a different light. He might’ve gone about it a bit controversially at first, but that all stemmed from a place of deep-seated hurt and heartbreak (still no excuse, but more understandable and shows that he’s human). 

But he still managed to challenge her. Made her see that she could be and is a great cop. Trained her to believe in herself and her abilities - something her parents never did. And something Lucy desperately needed in her life. Someone who believes in her and trusts her choices. Someone who accepts her the way she is. Someone who has her back. 

They both became better versions of themselves because of each other. Because there was finally a person who didn’t judge. No, it wasn’t romantic right from the start. But that pull toward one another has always been there. It’s only gotten stronger as they got to know each other better and then eventually bubbled to the surface at the end of season 4 and beginning of 5. 

Kay, back to the actual scene. 

I still really wanna know what Lucy was planning on talking to Tim about. Somebody please tell me… because “We need to talk” is usually not accompanied by anything good. 

I love how Tim immediately puts his phone down and turns his attention, and his body, toward Lucy. She has his full attention, no matter what this conversation is going to be about. 

Now, Lucy is the one who comes to Tim, but he is the one to start the conversation. And because they’ve been talking about her relationship with mr. can’t-read-the-room-and-pick-up-on-Lucy’s-discomfort before, it’s what he thinks they’ll continue to talk about.  

First though: just think about how weird this must be for them. All day, Tim’s been trying to help the woman he’s fallen for work through her relationship with someone else. And Lucy’s been working through the problems she has with her WIP with the guy she’s actually in love with. 

Yup, weird. 

Anyway.

We can tell that Tim is not expecting this conversation to be about anything but Lucy and her relationship with Assford. He doesn’t even entertain the idea that Lucy might’ve come to him to talk about them. He just wants to help her see that whatever she’s doing is not working. He’s being the friend he’s become for her over time. Because he’s not expecting to ever mean as much to her as she means to him. 

“Look, this clearly isn’t working out. I don’t know why you won’t just admit it.” 

Thank you, Tim, for saying what the entire fandom’s been thinking for a while now. 

“Unless, I mean, is it guilt? Is it because of what Rosalind did to him?” 

For some reason, likely because she’s frustrated with the situation as is and really didn’t want to talk about her WIP, Lucy deflects. Again. “Oh, like I’m the only one who stayed too long when things aren’t working? You dated a lifeguard. You don’t even like going to the beach!” 

Okay, I have to admit that I love Lucy’s roasting. So I need to pause here for a second. I had this all semi-planned out but then my emotions got the better of me. So, enjoy while I air out some of those frustrations. 

Both Tim and Lucy stayed with their respective partners for far too long. And for the wrong reasons. 

I get that Lucy felt guilty, and is too compassionate to leave someone when they’re hurt. Especially when she thinks it’s her fault. 

And neither one of them wanted to be alone. But Tim never should’ve stayed with Lifeguard Bitch after he realized they were on completely different paths regarding the future. 

I’m not saying she should change what she wants for Tim, but neither should he settle for something he clearly doesn’t want. He even said in 4x05 that he expected to already have kids. So he still wants it. He shouldn’t be with someone who clearly doesn’t want it. 

There’s no future there. But being alone wasn’t an option either because then he wouldn’t have been able to try to ignore his feelings for Lucy for as long as he did. 

In typical Tim Bradford fashion, he compromised who he is and what he wants to please the person he’s with. 

Take his reaction to Lifeguard’s revelations in 4x21: “Ok… great”. No Tim, not great. You clearly want the wife, the house and the 2.5 kids. Why are you not telling her that? End it right then and there. 

Why are you always the one compromising? Relationships are supposed to be a give and take, not just give for you, and take for Blondie. 

If she really did love him, she wouldn’t have dumped him the way she did. And not for the reason she did. Seriously, did she not know what his job was when they first went out? I mean, Bitch please. 

Sorry for the choice of words. My distaste for her and mr. hums-the-song just grew exponentially while writing this. Anyway, let me get back to the Chenford of it all. 

Now it’s Tim’s turn to be frustrated. Because this is not what this is about. All day he’s been trying to figure out why Lucy is still with Assford when she is clearly not happy, despite what she said earlier. He’s been trying to help her figure it all out.  

Tim wants Lucy to realize she deserves better, someone worthy of her. And no, he doesn’t think that’s him. In his mind, she is far too nice to ever possibly being able to like him in that way. So, this isn’t for him. It’s not about him. 

He says it himself: “This is not about me. No, it’s not about me, it’s about you. Staying in this safe relationship... because you’re scared.” Damn Tim. Straight to the point. 

But as soon as he says it, Lucy turns the conversation on its axis and actually makes it about them. Because all this time, it’s been about them, about him. “Of course I’m scared. If we do this and it doesn’t work, I’ll have ruined the most important relationship in my life.”

Again: Lucy?! What did you just say? My lack of words here is an accurate representation of my reaction when we were all watching it for the first time in December. 

And, yeah. I’ve seen different opinions about this whole scene. I don’t think it’s entirely out of the blue. We’ve seen them both struggle with their emotions and feelings for each other for a while at this point. Maybe we’ve seen it more from Tim’s side lately and that’s why it was surprising that it was Lucy who just blurted it out.

But I think it’s so wonderfully in character for her to just get lost in the moment and say what she’s been feeling for so long now because the word ‘scared’ triggered everything she’s been trying to ignore and work through. Her biggest fear is losing Tim completely. 

“Most important relationship in [her] life.” Yeah, I was not expecting to hear this. But I love it. We all know Lucy doesn’t want to put names to her relationships. She didn’t want to with Nolan (sorry for even mentioning this), not with Emmett and she made it perfectly clear that mr. hums-the-song was her WIP, not her boyfriend. 

But with Tim it’s somehow been a relationship for a while. She even called it that on her last day of training, which I still find hilarious, btw. They’re not together. Tim doesn’t even think she feels the same way as he does. Clearly, he was not expecting to hear this, either. 

She’s literally stunned him into silence. Look at the look on his face. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. He’s never been put first in any relationship. Okay, I firmly believe that he was Isabel’s priority once upon a time, but she too, chose something else over him at the end. Just like everybody else has.

But suddenly he hears Lucy say he is the most important to her. Him. Not anybody else. Him. Tim is the most important person in someone’s life. 

And then we see Lucy as she realizes what she just revealed to him. And she tries to backtrack. She’s not taking it back – she’s simply realizing that maybe she shouldn’t have revealed herself to him and drop this on him. 

But he doesn’t let her take it back. He agrees. Because they would lose each other if it didn’t work out. There’d be no going back to before. It’s either all in and risk it or continue this weird limbo they’ve found themselves in. 

And Lucy takes Tim’s “You’re right” as confirmation that it’s not gonna happen. That it’s not worth it to risk it all. Because she doesn’t want to lose him. There’d be no other person able to fill the hole that losing Tim would create. So they should just keep going as they have. Right? 

And yet. He doesn’t accept her “right?” the way he did in 5x01 in that hotel room. Because this is different. He can feel that this is different. That he seems to have a chance at a relationship with her after all. So he puts his cards on the table. And tells her that he thinks it is worth the risk. 

“Unless it is.”

Three words. Just three words and now it’s Lucy’s turn to be speechless for a moment. Because she had honestly thought that he wasn’t an option, either. Not after he told her to go to UC school and it was “time for [her] to move on.” She took it as rejection, he thought he was doing her a favor by removing himself from the equation that seemed to leave no space for him.

We see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes that he seems to want this as much as she does. She lets out a little breath as the tiniest smile starts to form on her lips as she stares at Tim. 

And he just looks back at her, gauging her reaction. He seems to find what he’s looking for because he leans back a bit, building up the courage to ask what he’s been dying to ask her for so long. Come on, we all know it’s true. His shoulders drop as he lets the weight fall off them and smiles. 

He starts to form words as he leans toward her again, but takes another second before he lets them out. “Do you wanna get dinner sometime?” 

Not ‘go on a date’. No. Because even in this moment, where they’re the only people that matter, he knows she still has a WIP. But he took his chance the moment he realized they were on the same page anyway. And I love it. Because he wastes no time at all to show her what he wants. He took a leap the second he realized she might feel the same way. 

All the previous heartbreak that started during his childhood seems to fade away from him. Right now, this is all that matters. Lucy is what matters. Because he matters to her, more than he ever thought possible. He’s willing to risk it all because all he wants, everything he’s been looking for his entire life, is right there in front of him. 

I will never not tear up at the way his eyes are so glassy with emotion and brimming with hope. Hope that she’ll say yes. Hope that this is finally the start of something he’s wanted for longer than he realized. 

And look at Lucy. She takes a moment to absorb everything that’s just happened. From realizing that she basically blurted out how she feels about him, to having him confirming that it’s reciprocated. That he’s willing to give this a shot because he believes they can make it work. 

He believes in her. In them. And that’s beautiful. Because Lucy doesn’t have many people like that in her life. She grew up with parents who always expected more of her, no matter what she did. We saw that in a few episodes in previous seasons and it’s so heartbreaking because we know Lucy wants to make her parents proud. She wants their approval.

But they never gave it to her. And yet somehow, here’s Tim. Who believes in her. First professionally, then personally and now romantically. Who makes her feel like she is enough. Because she is. For him, she is more than enough. She’s everything. 

They’ve both been exactly what the other has been looking for their entire lives. They’ve endured different kinds of trauma that only the other has managed to slowly heal because they’re two parts of one whole and only truly happy and themselves when they’re together. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. 

She answers so clearly, so… sure. Like, ‘Yes of course you idiot. Why wouldn’t I want to go out with you? Nothing I’d want more.’ 

And then the relief in his eyes when she says yes. My heart hurts in the best way possible whenever I watch this scene and hear his breathless little “Yeah?”’. Happy Tim is my absolute favorite thing to see on the show. 

The elation of getting confirmation that she wants this just as much as he does. That she’s willing to risk it all with him. He’s been so afraid of getting rejected again, like he did in 5x01 (when, again, your timing was a bitch, Timothy). We saw how he considered talking to her in 5x06 in the parking lot and then the total devastation after the missed opportunity because a certain someone had to interrupt again. 

So, this time, he took his chance the second he saw an opportunity.

But as happy and elated he his right there, he completely deflates after Lucy says “No” right after. Because that’s the answer he expected. The one he feared. The (apparent) rejection after putting his heart on the line.  

He turns away from Lucy, trying to put the wall back up. His whole demeanor just changed. Watch his hands – he puts them up as if physically trying to distance himself again. But he accepts her ‘no’: “Okay”. Because her happiness will always matter more than his own.

But Lucy tries to make clear that’s not what she meant. “No, no, it’s just… not yet. I owe it to [jackass] to end things the right way with him”. (No you don’t Lucy. He’s an idiot.)

Again, Tim accepts her decision, turning away again. He looks like he’s ready to stand up to leave. But Lucy stops him. We can’t see it, but I’m guessing Lucy touches his leg to get his attention again. And she does; he turns back toward her again, listening to what she has to say.

“Ask me again. Later. After.” 

There’s no question here as to what she wants. She’s not there yet, because she still as a WIP. But as soon as he’s gone, she wants this. She wants Tim. She’s ready to commit to the only guy she’s ever fallen for. 

And we’re back to happy smiley Tim. “Deal”. He’ll wait as long as she needs. Because now he knows there’s something to wait for. He’s not alone in this. She’s right there with him and she wants it as much as he does. 

And I cannot get over how they look at each other then. There’s nothing between them anymore but happiness and the knowledge that they want the same thing: to be together. 

And for the first time we really see shy, bashful, in love Tim Bradford. Look at the way he looks away from Lucy. He looks like a lovesick puppy. And my heart is bursting with happiness again.   

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I totally understand the (initial) confusion about this scene. Because yes, at first it did seem as if it came out of nowhere. And that there might be a scene or dialogue missing. But after some time to reflect on it, I’ve come to realize how much I love the way they handled it. Because it didn’t come out of nowhere. 

Look, this relationship has always been super layered, long before they took the leap here. 

But, as pointed out above, the way Lucy just blurts it out is beautiful to me. 

Because she got comfortable with Tim in this moment. After months of being at odds with one another, she felt safe enough to finally say it.

Tim spent the whole shift helping her navigate what was bothering her - Assford and his insistence to annoy her with more house offers even though she was clearly uncomfortable while dealing with a tough case - and why it was bothering her – he’s not Tim.

It wasn’t supposed to be about Tim, but he didn’t even realize that the whole problem was him in the first place. He’s the reason why she can’t and won’t move forward with jackass. Because she can’t do that while not letting Tim go. 

And that’s the whole point. After Tim told her it was time for her to move on in 5x02, she tried to make it work with dumbass. But in all that time, she’s never truly let Tim go. Because he’s the one she wants at her side, whether she’s always realized it or not. 

She could stay with clueless as long as she tried to tell herself that Tim didn’t matter to her like that. But that firmly established wall kept crumbling ever since Tim drew it up. Every episode following 5x02 crumbles that wall further and further - until it’s finally gone in this beautiful scene outside their place of work. 

Until Lucy finally realizes that no relationship will work as long as it’s not with Tim, she won’t give it her all. Yes, she tries to tell herself it’s not worth to take the risk, but as soon as Tim reveals his hand, she’s on board. 

Because they both want the same thing. To finally be together, in every possible way and not just as quasi-partners on the job. Finally, they’re on the same page. 

And what makes this even more special: it’s Tim being ready before Lucy is. It’s him waiting for her. 

I never would’ve even imagined for it to happen this way around. Given everything we knew pre-season 5, Lucy seemed like the more likely option to want to talk about things. She always wants to talk things out. 

But maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised after 5x01. After all, Tim was the one who wanted to talk about them in that hotel room in Vegas. And yes, again, the timing was awful, seriously Timothy, but he couldn’t ignore the feelings stirring within him. 

And the fact that Tim is even willing to risk it all with someone who’s become so extremely important to him is beautiful and shows how much he’s grown and found himself again since the Pilot. He’s been broken so many times before that nobody would blame him to just never try this again. Even Lucy inadvertently broke his heart in that Vegas hotel room.  

But he wants to. With Lucy, he wants to, despite the previous heartbreak. Because she’s Lucy. Because she is one of the very few people who hasn’t just walked away. And she’s just offered him an in. 

Yes, they’ve been distant with one another for months before this, but even then - she didn’t leave. She wanted to be there when he was injured and then raced back to the hospital after hearing he had emergency surgery to make sure he was ok. Even through their awkwardness, she stayed. She made an effort. She cared. 

She’s seen every side of him and yet, she stayed. 

It’s interesting, actually, that Lucy might have been one of the few people that Tim (briefly) walked away from. Because Tim holds on to the people he loves as tightly as he can but will also put their happiness above his own no matter how much it might hurt him. 

He walked away from Isabel because he felt it was what was best for her, not for him and only once he knew she was getting better. We don’t know what happened with Rachel and who broke up with who, but she was the one to leave for another state. Lifeguard Bitch dumped him while he was in the hospital, right after he woke up from emergency surgery because he wouldn’t do what she wanted. 

Lucy has never walked away from Tim. But there he was, willing to let her go because he felt that that was best for her. He put her (seemingly) best interest above his own. Because he couldn’t, or wouldn’t see that she didn’t regret what happened between them, that she values him for who he is. That he means more to her than she, or he, could’ve ever imagined. Because somewhere deep down, he still doesn’t believe he’s worthy of love. (I wish I could give pre-canon-Chenford Tim a hug so badly.)

For two people who know how to communicate with one another, they really did a number on themselves in eps 5x01 and 5x02. Neither one of them actually listens to the other. It’s not communicating. They don’t ask for clarification; they just assume to know what the other means. 

Tim walked away in 5x02 before either one of them let their masks slip and we could see that they were both heartbroken, thinking the other regretted whatever it is that happened between them. 

These two have evolved from TO and Rookie, who, for all intends and purposes, should never care about each other as anything more than colleagues, to friends during Lucy’s rookie year, to best friends who bicker and annoy each other like a married couple. 

And somewhere along the way, they fell for each other without noticing, without meaning to. And I think neither one of them quite knew what do to once they had that moment of realization. 

We saw them struggle with it up until the very end of 5x08 when it all came out. When they just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Because they’re the light in each other’s life and just want to be together. 

And now they get to know what it’s like to actually be together the way they’ve wanted to for a while. From now on, they get to live life together. And I definitely didn’t tear up thinking about this last part. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I understand everyone’s opinion about this episode, good or bad. 

I simply think that, yes, it was a slow burn, but you can’t drag it out too long before it eventually burns out. Why create more drama when there is no real reason to? If they had written more drama for Chenford, it would’ve been created to keep more roadblocks in their way. No one would’ve wanted Lucy to move forward in her relationship with mr. boring. But that was the (almost) last thing keeping them apart. 

What could they have done to keep them apart for longer? The only thing I would’ve been okay with would’ve been a time in which they just hang out as friends every chance they get before taking the plunge. Drama? I don’t want that. 

But that might’ve also only lasted a few episodes before everything bubbled to the surface. Even with a slow burn, the flame’s gotta ignite at some point. 

Okay, Tim being her superior would’ve actually been a very real obstacle that many of us thought would keep them apart for longer. Especially since he’s such a stickler for rules. But I think I get why they moved them forward the way they did. Both Tim and Lucy got caught up in the moment – nothing but the two of them mattered. No rules, no significant others, no power imbalance at work could’ve kept them from going after what they wanted.  

The only thing that mattered was finally being able to be together after realizing they both wanted it.  

I personally really appreciate that they kept this real. Yes, the writers chose to have 5x08 be the ep to move things forward. But story-wise, it’s very true to real life. Tim and Lucy didn’t have much of a choice but to ride together again after Grey told them to. Not without revealing what exactly the reason for their discomfort was. 

Real life is when things happen when you least expect them. When you have to deal with things sooner than expected. When you blurt things out without thinking. When you put your heart on the line without knowing how the other feels. 

I haven’t been in this fandom long and have only watched The Rookie and shipped Chenford since mid-2022. But even I was becoming inpatient for them to be together after only 6 months. 

We’re all allowed to have our opinions. We can all have mature conversations about this and discuss it with respect. But the minute you completely disregard the fact that every person working on that show is a human being and call them names, and even tag them in those posts, you’ve gone too far.  

They don’t owe us anything. They don’t have to move the story forward the way we want. Yes, fans keep shows going to a certain degree, but it’s the writers’ decision what to do. Or maybe it’s the network’s decision and they have to run with it and make it work.

Basically all I saw all summer long was comments about needing Chenford to be together asap. Then it happens, and yet, this is when the negativity (and disrespect) in the fandom started. 

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: we were never all gonna get it the way we envisioned it. And maybe we all should’ve kept that in mind going into season 5 (I’m including myself in this, yes). But it’s okay to be disappointed. 

Did I expect it to happen the way it did? Nope. Was I a little thrown at first? Yup. But I’ve fallen in love with it since then. It’s so them. 

Let them learn together. Let them grow together. Let them become even better together. 

There is so much left to explore. Them getting together opened up a whole new world of potential storylines. And I for one cannot wait to see what is next in their journey. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Additional note 1:  I will forever be mad at The Rookie for making the-one-who-shall-not-be-named sound like the nicest guy when all I can see is red flag after red flag. They introduced him as a pesky ADA, who I immediately disliked, who was suddenly a real ‘nice guy’ the next time we saw him. It’s like they completely changed course and decided to use him in any way possible to keep Tim and Lucy apart. And make me uncomfortable in the process. 

I know there might be some fans out there who really like him, but I just always see the guy humming the song Lucy sang to keep herself calm when she was dying. Dude, that’s the woman you’re dating. How does that song get stuck in your head and NOT trigger you? 

Even this episode alone is reason enough for me to dislike him. I could go on for another 5 pages, but I’ll stop here and just say: I’m glad Lucy dumped him in maybe the least nicest way possible for someone as empathetic as her. 

Additional note 2:  I’ve mostly been very positive about Chenford’s development, but even I can admit that some things haven’t sat right with me all the time (and I mean pre-canon and after), mostly because I expected things to happen differently at times. But that doesn’t mean the way they’re handling it is bad or wrong. We can’t expect for them to integrate callbacks to all the significant moments from earlier seasons. 

I’ve simply chosen to be positive whenever I post something because I accept and appreciate what they’ve given us, but I understand and respect if some fans don’t. As long as we don’t expect everyone to see everything the way we do, and we don’t get all childish and mad when we don’t all agree (seriously, why do we always have to get mad at each other when we disagree on things?!), I’m happy to be here. Because Chenford and The Rookie are my safe space, my escape from reality. And sometimes I just need to get lost I these characters for a while to get back on track in real life. 

Thank you to @escapismqueen for listening to my constant ramblings whilst writing this and being my nr one supporter while I was struggling to get this done! I think I need to credit her for some of this because we think so much alike that she easily could’ve written parts of this herself. 

#i apologize for the length of this #no it is not 20 pages in a word doc #or is it #yes this is obviously written with a knowledge up to 5x17 #so i know some of what comes next in their journey #but i can't wait for what comes after #5x18 I'm looking at you #these are just my ramblings so i don't expect everyone to like it or agree #i just needed to get this out #because i freakin' love 5x08 #so what do i do now to survive the rest of the hiatus? #suggestions anyone? #chenford #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #a chenford thesis

[chenfordspiral]

Love your thesis on 5x12 as well as the earlier ones! I always enjoy analyses of episodes and characters. Do you think you'll do more during summer hiatus? I would be very interested in reading more if possible, but understand it's a lot of work :)

Hi anon! 

First of all, thank you so much for reading my theses. I’m glad you’re enjoying them! And thank you so much for your interest in more! That means so much more than I can put into words. 

Now for the hard part.

Simply put: I don’t know yet. I haven’t made any plans so far but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I said something similar after posting my 5x08 thesis, and look how that went 😂 Real life likes to get in the way too, and it’ll be a packed summer hiatus because I have other fandom things planned as well, but I’m sure I’ll be able to write something (bc I have ideas). Yes, it’s a lot of work, but it’s also a great momentary escape from reality. I’ll just have to coordinate it all and see what works best. 

At the end of the day, I really don’t have this under control at all. My mind usually just does what it wants and I have to run with it. Which makes it fun, because I never know what happens next, haha. 

Anyway. Hope this makes sense and it’s a somewhat satisfying answer, that somehow turned into a little rant, whoopsie. Apologies.

Again, thank you for reading and thank you for the ask! Hope you have a great day and Happy Easter (if you’re celebrating)!

#anon ask #answered #a chenford thesis #i'm sorry this turned into a little rant #chenford

[chenfordspiral]

Hello. Do you plan to continue writing "A Chenford Thesis" like for 5.08, 5.10, 5.12?

Hii!

This is actually quite an interesting question. Because I don't have anything I'm actively planning or working on, but I kind of miss writing these Chenford Theses. Maybe I'll find some inspiration soon now that I have a little less on my mind. I hadn't even thought about this little series in a very long time.

If you have any specific episodes you'd like to read about, feel free to let me know! I can't guarantee I'll be able to write anything, but it might just be the nudge I need to get inspired again 😊

Thanks for asking! 🫶🏻

#anon ask #answered #a chenford thesis #my writing #i'd love to be able to write more of these #so happy to hear that this little thing that started with me just needing to get all my thoughts on a page #has actually turned into a mini series #and the feedback has been amazing

[chenfordspiral]

Heyyy! Have you got any Chenford stories in the plans?

Hii dear anon!

I can honestly say that I have some ideas for stories that I hope to be able to write sometime in the future, but I'm currently not actively planning or working on anything new (other than what I've already outlined). I'll have more time to think about it once I've finished my thesis - which is the reason I have regular breakdowns now - but no guarantees on anything. I might be too drained to focus for a while after next week.

That being said, I have no plans to stop writing. It's just a matter of finding the right inspiration, and actually having time for it.

Let's see how it goes! 😊

Thanks for the ask, and have a great weekend! ❀

#anon ask #answered #my writing #chenford is my life #and i want my life back #but first i gotta finish that damn thesis #even writing that word has me anxious #dear lord why am i such a procrastinator?!

[chenfordspiral]

WIP last line game

Tagged by: @escapismqueen 🥰

Copy the last sentence that you wrote in your latest WIP.

He doesn’t question her wishes, doesn’t pressure her into anything she’s not ready for. 

This isn't for fanfiction but my next Chenford thesis/essay, or whatever we wanna call it. Time will tell if I ever get it done.

Tagging: @dmarx @londonrih @megsmulti @changethetides-blog and everybody else who's interested!

#tag game #WIP #chenford

[chenfordspiral]

Currently re reading your Chenford stories! Hope you're writing more! (Sorry no pressure ofc!)

Oh, yay thank you so much for that, that means a lot 🥺❤️

I am currently working on a multi chapter, although updates are slower now that I'm in the final stages of writing my thesis. I hope I'll be able to write more one shots again and fill prompt requests after I'm done with that damn thesis. But for now, Little bit of Love is the only new thing I have going on.

We'll see what happens after, but I definitely plan on writing more! I do actually have two new multi chapter stories outlined that are just waiting to be written 🤭 it's just a matter of finding the time ❀

And no worries! It actually makes me want to write my thesis faster and get it over with, so thank you for that! 🥰

#anon ask #answered #my writing #my stories #i am still DONE with that thesis #i want my brain back please

[chenfordspiral]

I follow you on Instagram your posts after you finish every episode of chenford on Instagram what are you going to post about next

Ooh, thank you for following over there!

I’m not really sure yet. I’ve got some ideas for other edits, but I don’t have any definite plans. I think I’ll just continue how I started before the Chenford in every episode extravaganza started.

We’ll see when my mind is a little clearer and I’m not constantly occupied by thinking about my thesis (or writing for Chenford…).

Thank you for asking! I haven’t actually thought about this in a while, so it was fun to go get my notes out and look, haha.

Hope you have a good day! ☺️

#anon ask #answered #insta posts

[chenfordfeels]

The Rookie 2x02 Part 2

I'm way too excited! We are getting so much content and meaningful scenes between them that my chenford heart can't take it.

Before I start raving about Tim and Lucy, I would like to point out that I believe Armstrong will be (in)directly some sort of advocate for chenford. I find many similarities between him and Tim, for one they both use work as a copying mechanism and secondly they would never ask for help. Maybe one day he goes up to him and says "life is too short, tell her you love her before you lose her" or something like that.

Oh dear Tim! I'm literally tired of pointing out in every review that Tim is using work as a cover for most of his decisions, especially when it has to do with Lucy. He wants/needs her help and still manages to make it seem like a punishment, her having to suffer along with him in reading that book. Of course, Lucy is enjoying the book too much as it makes some valid points.

Alas, he is too cute for me to hold a grudge against him.

He is a man of many contradictions. He shared something about himself (he learns better when he is moving and hearing the material) so naturally without questioning why he was sharing something personal about himself with his boot. Of course, he looks so alarmed at her reaction and quickly shuts everything down the second Lucy talks about learning disabilities and Isabel helping him study in the past. Then, although, he is clearly holding a grudge against Lucy, he gets all protective when Rex (bounty hunter) calls her boot and doesn't correct him when he asks if Lucy speaks to him that way.

I want to point out two things: a) the variety of people Tim is friendly with will never cease to surprise me and b) Lucy being assertive is literally the best, she takes control when she has to with no apologies.

Does Tim seem a bit angrier than usual. I thought we were making progress since the pilot but it's like he has a lot of things bottled up.

Lucy is trying to help him, she even offers to read to him while on patrol but he leaves no room for discussion. Still, when they go to the suspects house they have each other's backs.

Before I scream about my favorite moment, I would like to say that for a guy who refuses any kind of help he definitely offers a helping hand to everyone. He is such a multilayered character and Eric Winter does an amazing job of portraying him.

She recorded an audio book for him!

As per usual she knows him and tries to help him as best as she can. The hours it must have taken to read and record the book... I can't even. No one can tell me that this gesture is purely out of friendship. Lucy cares about Tim in a deeper level, enough to contact Isabel and talk about him and his (learning) needs. She literally went out of her way! And don't get me started on his soft smile and soft eyes and soft thanks.

It is as if Lucy is giving him permission (I don't know if it is the right word) to be himself and telling him that it is okay to be different and at the same time compliments him.

There are so many things I want to say about this particular scene that would probably fill a thesis but I'm going to stop myself here before I hyperventilate from all the cuteness.

Leave your thoughts down below! 👇⬇️👇I would love to have a more in depth discussion about this episode and their relationship.

#chenford #tucy #tim x lucy #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie #the rookie abc #season 2 #episode 2 #review #they are so precious #cutest #cutest future couple #ship them till the end of times #my chenford heart #make it happen #they are a perfect match #slow burn