#aleks talks into the void

[aromantic-karamatsu]

Imagine wanting a guy's (cat's) attention so badly you hunt him down to personally take his final life before his time

#saw someome say death's really mad not bc puss persay didn't value his lives but because he didnt value his deaths and #yeah that makes sense #'i was there to witness all of them [puss's past deaths]. each frivolous end. but you didn't even notice me' #like this wolf is really like puss i am right here look at me give me attention hello?? obsessed. i love it #deathpuss #thats what i wrote this in mind with #my post #aleks talks into the void #puss in boots the last wish

[puppysirie0-0]

Anybody Call A Doctor (I'm 1000 Degrees In Love)

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Lantsov!Reader

Warnings: Mostly fluff that I wanted to be smut

Chapter 3 of "The Bunny and It's Shadow"

Aleksander slowly starts kissing down your body with a tenderness you had not expected. He kisses every inch of your skin, and all your insecurities and worries melt away. You knew you loved him and he loved you, you knew this was going to be forever, even if nothing else was.

You watch as he travels down. The admiration and utter devotion in his eyes, evident as he looks back up at me. My heart skips a beat as I make eye contact with him. He also made me feel special and the intimacy of this moment pours over me like a refreshing shower.

You and Aleksander had done this before. The fleeting makeouts in his room and quickies in the hallway. Him whisking you away into his chambers or a bathroom to let out your mutual frustrations. But, now you’re married, it’s 100 times more intimate. It was coveted, it was sweet, it was something you’d only dreamt of doing with Aleksander. Never knowing that you’d ever be able to marry him.

You snap out of your haze of reflection as he reaches down between your thighs. He knew what to do to make you come undone quickly, but he didn’t want it quick. He wanted to savor this moment, cherish it like an ancient relic. You being his most prized possession. He thrust a finger in your cunt, slowly pumping it at a steady pace. Stretching you out for him, despite your numerous other times taking him.

He adds another, and another, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and the air around you. Kissin down your neck, littering your collarbone and neck with love bites. Knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hide them in the morning, purposefully making sure that they would be bright purple and noticeable when you had to face your friends at breakfast. He made you feel safe and on the edge at the same time.

He teased you like you were a puppy jumping up at a treat right before it was pulled away. And you loved it. It might have seemed cruel, but you did. His mere attention made you feel like a star shining bright in the midst of a void of darkness.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of violets. They had a very distinct smell for you because they were your favorite. Your nanny as a child would always pick them and bring them to you. Those were some of your happiest memories, happily playing with your older brother, Nikolai, and your shared nanny.

You turn to see Aleks still asleep. He looked so peaceful there, lying in the morning sunrise. The orange light illuminates his skin, making him glisten like a gem. He was a gem to you, the most precious, beautiful, perfect gem of the world in your eyes.

His eyes flutter open and he catches you staring. You blush as a smile spreads across his face. He reaches for you, pulling you back into bed and you let him. You trusted him with everything, your heart, your life, everything. He whispers in your ear, “Morning, Mrs. Morozova.”

You can feel his grin on your neck and you look back at him, “Mrs. Morzova is hungry right now, Mr. Morzova.”

He chuckles before shrouding the room in darkness. He grabs your wrist to amplify your new-found power, illuminating the once pitch-black room with stars. You both look in awe, completely and utterly amazed to see not only the beauty of your stars, but your respective stars and shadows mingling together, in harmony.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

You head to breakfast with the rest of the camp and your skin prickles with the stares of everyone. You had forgotten about the marks Aleks had given you. You feel a hand on your back leading you to a fairly empty section by the stoked out fire. You know it’s Aleksander, you lean into his touch, and let him guide you.

Breakfast had a tension thick enough to cut with an axe. You slowly eat your food as Aleksander casually talks with Ivan beside him, leaving you swimming with awkwardness. You turn and talk to Fedyor, but you feel the eyes boring into the back of your head.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

Once Breakfast is thankfully over, you start packing up to head back to the Little Palace. You knew Aleksander had duties and you wanted to move out of the Main Palace as soon as possible.

The trek back home was easy, simple. It was actually quite calming, you grin every time you see a flower. You had studied them for hours as a child, continuing far into your adulthood, ever the anthophile. But you were still nervous, you had to face your parents not only about the failed Fjerdan engagement and your marriage to Aleksander, but about your powers as well.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

When you're back at the Little Palace, Aleksander immediately tells the servants to move your belongings into his, or your now shared chambers. You follow him into his war room, wanting to relax after the ride home. Aleks asks for tea before sitting down on a chair he’s had for years. The leather worn from both of you napping in it after a long day of Aleks’ work.

You climb into his lap and wait for the tea. He cuddles you and grads a purple and black blanket to lay over the two of you. The tea arrives and you guys sip the tea in silence, enjoying each other’s company. But your mind is racing a million miles a second, because what are you going to do about your powers? And more importantly, what are you going to do about your parents?

Your mind snaps out its trance as Aleks exclaims, “Anybody call a doctor!”

You turn to look at him and he’s grinning before saying “I’m a thousand degrees in love.”

You smile at each other. In a soft, sweet, domestic way. You were in love and you were going to cherish every second of it.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

A/N:

Hey guys! This is the third chapter of Aleksander Morozova series, I'm writing this while collaborating with @lost-tothe-centuries! I have been swamped with classes so I am sorry for the wait. We'll, lemme know what you think. Also, always remember that my DMs and requests are always open if you wanna talk. Love y'all! Mwah!

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #he is literally the love of my life uugggghhh

[garthcelyn]

Writeblr Battle Royale - Cooper and Erin

Took part in the @writeblrbattleroyale event by @your-absent-father!

This round, my favorite punching bag Cooper, going against's @the-arigen's Erin.

Naturally, a trigger warning for death, as is customary on this blog.

Nothing. Cooper awoke surrounded by sheer nothing once more. No sky, nor land, just the sterile white of nothing. Her heart pounded in her chest - she still had one of those, at least - hammering against its ivory cage in an irregular thud stop thud thud thud stop that had plagued her since her first real death.  But no God met her now. If she had slept, if she had died, she did not remember. She supposed it didn't matter - it would come soon enough. She felt her side for her sword, gripping its hilt and pulling it from its sheath. It wasn't the familiar blade she carried, the one that had killed her the last time. No magic thrummed though its core, but it made no difference. That magic had never - could never - save her.

"What is this?" she snarled, coating fear with anger. That was a safe emotion. "What's going on?" She growled, as if she hadn't had the situation explained to her already.

She squared her shoulders, facing off against her opponent - who she was very sure was not any of her Gods - defensive and wary. 

"Who are you?" she asked, voice low as she tried to appear more threatening than the very tired brick of a woman she was, "do you have anything to do with this?"

Erin’s check was complete. No gear, her connection to Aileen attenuated to almost nothing, access to her focus as normal, magic operating at full strength, and the spells she’d designed into her skull operating well enough to tell her that this was not, in fact, an illusion.

“Except insofar as I have been dragged in here with you, no.” She looked around, finding the empty void much more strange than any of the disjointed vistas she’d seen in Faerie. “I’m not entirely sure where this is, exactly, which is… worrying. Are you a super?”

"A what?" asked Cooper, "No, I'm - I'm just Cooper. Alek Cooper. Marwaid, I guess - the Gods hate me."

Her words came out like a babble. She was not prepared for real conversation - that had never happened before. Always being talked at and never to.

"I'm not dead, am I? Like, again. I'm not dead again. You aren't… fuck - you aren't Omera or something messing with me?"

"Given my complete lack of knowledge on who Omera is, I'm going to suppose we're from very different places. I can't speak much for Gods- never much been a fan, though the Godslayers take it perhaps too far. As far as I can tell, neither of us are dead." Erin looked around, remembering the voice she had heard while going reviewing their location, and winced. "Yet, at least. Though I don't know the enforcement mechanism."

"Somehow, that makes me feel worse about this." Cooper relaxed somewhat, despite this. "So! A fight to the death. That seems normal enough, unless there's a trick somewhere."

Erin watched the other woman carefully, then shook her head slightly. "If you'll give me a moment to cast, I can see if that's something I can get us out of. I swear on my magic, nothing that would do harm to you."

Despite herself, Cooper nodded, stepping back in order to give her space. She knew magic, and knew how dangerous it was - as least back in her world. Her eyes glowed a soft blue, sensing what was to come, her only magical ability absolutely useless in the situation.

"I'll trust you, for now." she said, as if she had a choice.

Erin flicked her hand, summoning the electronic tablet she used as a focus to it and rapidly selecting options on it, then flipped it over, placed her hand on the back, and pushed a tiny fragment of magic into it, activating the ritual within. 

All around her, the lines and nodes of magic blinked into existence, bits of knowledge about their purpose and direction flowing into her mind as fast as she could process it. "For... Damn. I hate curse magic. Hate it so much. Such a stupid tool. Fools and maniacs, the lot of them."

"I'll take your word for it." Cooper had never cared about magic, and she wasn't about to start now. Dying be damned. "I suppose this means we have to fight?"

She readied her blade one more, curious more than anything. This was different to fighting at the temple, from fighting someone she would have called a friend, or fighting a God - though, technically she didn't fight a God, just bit one in a hell similar to this one. She couldn't consider that last one a win, she was already dead. 

"Y'know, I'm getting real sick of things like this."

Erin gave her a lopsided smile, watching for a sign of actual hostility and not finding one. Part of her wanted to treat the situation with the gravity it deserved, but it was more than overcome by too-similar situations she'd been in before. "It happens all too quickly, doesn't it? I can see you've got your own experience with curses. I'm a subject of this greater working, and it's defended from me, but yours..."

"Mine is frankly the worst family heirloom," she said, letting out a dry laugh. "All it took was one ancestor I never knew about to mess with the local witch, and here we are. Undying, mostly." 

She almost shuddered thinking about how she became when this first started, lying broken in the woods filled with carrion grubs. Maggots. She hated them, but had yet to have another encounter. 

"I don't know how exactly it works, if it's magic or God stuff or both, I just know that I'm stuck."

Erin paused, looking over it to make sure she was reading it right. "Well, there's some God stuff in there. It links to something I can't see, but it doesn't look functional. It looks like someone smacked you with all the worst features of the vampire curse and left most of the good threads hanging. Cursewrights are quite awful like that. It... I can't take it off you. But I might be able to reconnect some of those strings."

"What, to make me powerful or something? That doesn't seem like it would benefit you in this situation." Cooper swallowed, before regretfully adding, "I've killed enough without it. Would you risk that?"

"Powerful? No. But some idiot screwed with the healing. I might be able to make the next time you die..." Erin thought for a moment. There wasn't much that would make dying a pleasant experience. "Not quite so terrible."

"I think I'd rather you didn't. If I'm dumb enough to die again, that's on me." Cooper rolled her shoulders. "Besides, this has been in my bloodline for four centuries, do you really think you can tweak something that ingrained?"

Erin shook her head. "I understand. Notably, for you in the future... except in cases like the Oracle, a single successor selected by appropriateness,  generations typically loosen the grip of magic, not tighten it. As of now, though, are we to fight?"

"You say that like we have a choice." Cooper smiled, jagged canines glistening in the white light. "For what it's worth, you seem alright."

At the comment, Erin's face fell. "I'm sorry to give you that impression, nice to hear though it is. And I suppose we don't."

Erin released the magic on her back, letting her wings, five meters across and iridescent, fade into reality behind her. "I do apologize, but I will be trying to win. I don't know how long it will take to get back, or if an opportunity to end it will appear in the future."

Cooper stared, not quite in awe, not quite in fear, but something she couldn't yet describe. Dread. "Oh."

She swallowed and steeled herself, readying her blade once more. "Don't worry, I won't hold back. I do not want to die again."

"Good luck." Erin gauged the distance between them. Without a Light-boosting ritual in place, it was going to be much harder than usual to do any appreciable damage at all. Not that it was impossible.

She opened with two beams of light, firing from her left hand while navigating the screens of her focus with her right, trying to get to the spell that would summon a weapon before Cooper had made up the distance between them.

Cooper winced, dodging awkwardly, then ran. She was not especially fast by any means, not like the rest of her ilk, but she hoped it was enough. She had relied too much on her war dog, Idris, for most of her combat, but he was not here now. Neither was her squadron. Internally she cursed whatever force brought her here, and pulled back her arm to ready a swing as she made her way across the arena.

The other woman's normal running was slow enough to keep the beams fairly steady on her body, beginning to burn skin they were held on even as Erin managed to summon a weapon in the air above her head. Tossing her focus to the side to let it disappear, Erin grabbed the weapon and prepared to receive the charge. Cooper's weapon didn't look magical, but she still watched it carefully, wary of being tricked.

Cooper didn't let magic deter her; she closed the distance with gritted teeth and swung. The lack of her typical dog aided height was jarring, but her aim was true.

Erin blocked the blow as close to the base of the sword as she could manage, stopping it before it managed to cut into her skin. The other woman's extra near-foot of height worked against her, but the strength enhancements were just enough to keep it from being overwhelming. 

From so close, the burning of the beams intensified, starting to actually melt flesh as Erin kept the focus narrowed onto Cooper's stomach.

Fighting through the pain, she let out a low growl before pushing against the blade before retreating back a few steps. She felt at her front with a shaking hand, before grunting and lunging forward once more. Relying on strength, she swung her sword in a wide arc, back and forth, hoping to parry or at hit the blade with enough force it would be jarring.

Noticing Cooper's change in strategy when it clipped her arm, Erin leaped back, relying on her wings to extend the distance while she kept the beams focused. As soon as she landed, barely avoiding stumbling back, she added the two beams from her wings. It wasn't the cheapest way she had to fight, but caught without any of her magic items and with a non-magical opponent,  it was the best she could manage. Still, that miniscule bit of flight cost more than the light. "Dangerous, that. Helps that you're so much taller than me."

"If one of us has to die, I'm not leaving it up to chance." Cooper already felt gross from the little battle she had fought. Her shirt stuck to her skin and her face resembled more of a waterfall. She squared herself in case of impact, staring up. "You gonna come back down or what?"

Erin stared. It was possible for her to fight from up close, but it would largely be giving up all of her advantages... She shook her head, dropping the beams and dagger to summon her focus, flipping through the options to summon a spear, instead. "I suppose that would be fair."

Erin advanced carefully, on guard against a sudden rush in case the other woman suddenly decided to change her mind. In her head, she started preparing one of her more complex disabling spells- she knew enough about melee combat to not die in it, but it was hardly something she considered herself good at.

Cooper began to walk in a wide circle, slowly and with purpose, like a sheepdog to it's flock. She twirled her sword in her palm, before gripping it tightly once more. Being a show off was in her blood, wound nearly as tight as her curse. Live or die, she knew how to make a spectacle, she knew how to draw out fights to her benefit. With her free hand, she wiped the sweat from her brow, baring her teeth in a grimace. 

Her eyes darted quickly, looking for openings. To attack, to flee, the feint. Finally, after making a wide semi-circle, she closed in. She darted forward, sword held low behind her, almost dragging across the ground. Then, suddenly, she brought her sword arm up into a wide, diagonal arc, ending with a block in front of her face and chest, backing away once more.

Being on the attack was uncomfortable for Erin, a position she'd gone to great lengths not to be in recently. Striking out at Cooper was about finding the balance: far enough away that she couldn't get on the inside of the guard, close enough that she had control over the weapon and a single missed strike wouldn't mean losing it.

The spell finished in her head, she just needed an opportunity to release it. She couldn't guarantee it would end the fight if she did, but unless Cooper had some sort of resistance to it, it was the strongest, though short-lived, non-lethal measure she wouldn't have to invent on the spot.

Cooper was very aware that she was toying, and that she should probably stop. Knowing this, she gave another two quick swipes, and backed away once more, pushing her luck, pressing forward to see what exactly would happen. 

It was a game she played out of curiosity, the same kind as a child ripping the wings off of flies. Cutting forward, swiping, staying just out of reach. She began circling once more, eyeing for any real weaknesses so she wasn't just jabbing at random. It was not how she was taught, but it was how she survived.

Erin could see in the way Cooper was fighting that she was looking for weaknesses, now. Trying to find a way to deal with her specifically instead of just using natural advantages like before. She found herself conflicted for a moment: she knew that Cooper had to get in close, but she wouldn't do so unless she saw a weakness. 

And feigning additional weaknesses was something she'd never quite bothered to learn. Erin decided to risk it. All she needed to do was make physical contact. She activated the enchantments on her back, sending the wings away once more, and started advancing, trying to keep her opponent at the end of the spear as much as possible to obscure her actual goal.

Cooper let out a yelp of a laugh, side stepping out of the way and swinging without real purpose. Testing. This was more of the fight she wanted, familiar territory. She held her blade out straight ahead, as much of a taunt as it was to keep some distance. It wasn't enough to rival a spear, but enough to make her feel decently safe.

"You going to hit me?" she grinned, having the time of her undeath.

"It's a bit difficult. I'm accustomed to the defensive, at this point, and it's hard to break that paradigm." Erin moved forward, trying to spin the sword out of the way with her spear before stabbing at Cooper's shoulder.

Cooper stepped back with a wince. "Okay, that was a free shot."

She retaliated with a harsh hack towards the haft of the spear, putting her strength behind it.

Seeing her chance, Erin released the spear entirely, letting Cooper's swing knock it to the floor with no resistance while she dashed into the momentarily off-balance guard and reached in, grabbing Cooper's sword arm around the wrist and finally releasing her spell.

Cooper didn't have the time to look confused. As soon as the hand touched her wrist, she felt as if she was melting from the inside. She fell to the ground in a thud, the breath being knocked from her lungs. Try as she might, she couldn't force her legs - leg - to move, much less to get a grip on the ground below. She was gelatinous, unable to move in anyway that mattered. Jaw slackened, arms folded in an awkward position beneath her that would surely mess her up later. She almost wished for death over this. At least then she wouldn't be awake for it. It was embarrassing. Luckily, no folk from home could see how she had been taken down so quickly in the end. If she could, she would have buried her face in the dirt and simply end it once more, but alas, nothing ever went the way she wanted.

Erin released the arm. The spell would still be in place for ten seconds, so she had a moment to pull her focus out again, finding the spell she wanted. One that would knock Cooper out entirely and could be channeled through a weapon.

She found it quickly, then stood over Cooper's limp form within eyesight. "I know you can hear this, so... I hope next time you come back to life, things go better for you." 

She stabbed down just enough that the spear entered Cooper's skin, knocking the other woman out, then bent down, tracing the still-visible lines of her curse with her eyes and now her fingers, just over the skin. It was a complex curse, one of a type that she hadn't seen before, but she could see many similarities to vampirism- though, the low form of a ghoul instead of the true completion.

It helped that she had that particular curse loaded into her focus. A line shifted here, one or two added there, and a new node attached to the healing... everything she knew about magic told her that the next time Cooper woke up, it would be less damaged than this time. And would continue down that path. It was the least she could do.

Erin grabbed the spear from where she'd dropped it, then lined it up with Cooper's heart. "I hope you would forgive me."

She stabbed down, into both of their hearts.

#writeblr battle royale #char: alek cooper

[christelgothamite]

Make the sky blast.

Location : baren land behind Gotham's forest.

Christel stared at the book in hand.

"An oddity are creatures that can evolve into planets. Given they attract asteroids to themselves. That WAS how thing worked before yin and yang decided to give some of the creatures missions, ignoring mom's instructions to leave them alone" christel explained, tim nodded before he said. Glancing at the empty field they were in.

"You want to try attracting asteroids towards yourself like an oddity?" Tim asked. Christel nodded as she said "I wont turn into a planet dont worry. But I can direct the astriods close to me... like an Air bomb"

Tim grinned. "That would be cool" christel nodded. Walking away from tim. She took a deep breath. As she glanced at the starless sky of gotham. It always looked like a void to her.

She exhaled softly. Reminding herself what the book told her. Dispel magic works with the body. She needs to relax her body and trigger the natural instinct.

Natural instinct of an oddity. Christel glanced at the sky intensely. Her body as lose and heavy as she wanted it to be. She whistled softly, in a tune no human ear can hear. The sky started to light up a little.

The starless sky of gotham brightened with a few. Unsurprising to her and tim, but surprising to the normal gothamites.

Christel loudly whistled, her voice now echoing. Tim could hear her now. Suddenly 12 bright pink radiating asteroids entered the earth's atmosphere all at once.

"Christel isnt that to many??" Tim called out. Watching christel continuing to whistle the Astros closer. Christel closed her eyes and pointed at the bare land in front of her.

She stopped whistling and opened her eyes. The 12 asteroids landed on the ground with a loud roar. Sending debrees flying towards christel and tim. Christel shielded them.

Smoke was everywhere for the few minutes, christel could hear tim call out to her with concerns. She started to walk towards the asteroids as the smoke cleared out.

She was astonished to see the damage. Tim was by her side in no time. "Holy shit." He gasped seeing the deep creator of land missing. A deep hole with 12 small rocks planted in.

Location : wayne penthouse

"So the whistle was like a mating calling?" Tim said, looking at his computer. Christel shrugged "that's one way to sum it up. The whistle is like a calling to nearby asteroids, alarming them that an oddity is prepared to become a planet"

Tim nodded, typing something before he glanced at her "the 12 astriods had massive radiation. Which I think can be considered pure magic" Tim turned his laptop to show christel the picture of the site currently.

The site was like a normal creator. The only difference was the crystals that previously were the asteroids that hit the target. "I am sending duke, Luke and Harper in to take the Crystal's as safely as possible." Tim explained. Christel nodded.

"The crystal look normal but I think there is hellfire inside it..." christel squinted her eyes on the screen. Tim drank his coffee as he glanced at her, a little hesitation on his face.

"There is something else, I realised when you were whistling" tim started. Christel glanced at him. In a questioning manner. "When you activated your dispel magic. You were radiating alot of energy but then after the whole ordeal. I saw that two other individuals were also responding to your radiations"

Christel shoulders fell a little... she had a feeling about who the two individuals were.

"Aris and Alek were responding to your magic. They were radiating it back to you" tim explained showing his laptop. Christel bite her bottom lips. As tim started to talk again. "Aris and Alek can reach that level. I mean both can be qualified for demigods. Is that same for an oddity?"

Christel shook her head. "No they cant be oddities. Its impossible. Oddities cant give birth to another oddity. To much power to handle"

Tim stayed silent as he eyed her and sighed "christel that just sounds like you are in denial of your children having powers in the first place" christel continued to bite her bottom lip.

She took a shaken breath "perhaps. I dont like it. I... dont want these powers to be their downfall" tim frowned in a confused way as she elaborated.

"Future aleksander already has problems with his joker gene and his talon gene. That thought terrifies me. He is gonna live in pain because of...of this" christel stated "Aristella got her time travelling powers from Zues. I know how gods act tim. I dont want my daughter to be around them. Its exhausting especially if you are a demigod. Beneath them"

"And then maribella. Her history is always gonna reflect on Anasticious's life. Heck! My own history will reflect on his life" christel grumbled with rage. "These powers, this family history and world is a curse to their future. I do not want them to grow powers."

"What If they arent able to control their powers? What if they lose control and travel to a place unsafe? What if Anasticious gets tracked down by a past elora enemy?? What if aleksander gets oddity powers and has another identity crisis?? What if Aristella gets into danger with the other Greeks gods???" Christel asked again and again. Voice louder with each question as tim just stared at her.

"My children's life can be in danger because of these powers. I want them to have a normal life. Away from danger"

Tim closed his eyes as he spoke. "You feel this way when Damian goes into battle?" Christel shut her mouth close into a line. Tim gave a small smile as he opened his eyes. "Yeah you do. Christel I know you think these powers would be their downfall. But these powers might also be their defense against the craziness of the world"

Christel took a sharp breath in and exhaled. Tim stood up. "If they do lose control. We all will help them. They will be just fine"

Christel didnt react looking at the laptop.

"I will go and study those Crystal's structure. You go and take some rest" Tim said. Waving at her and going to what she presumed was the batcave.

Christel stood there.

"I hope you are right tim. I hope..."

#only in gotham #gotham city #only in gotham rp

[corporaloretsev]

promoted shadow and bone to a friend, she ended up shipping 'the other ship', we lost a soldier today

#akhdjdkshdjs she sent a message to me first saying she finished s&b #and i was like??? ah yes tell me which one do you ship??? #she said helnik and i let a little sigh of relief #but then she proceeded to ask is aleks really the bad guy? #before i fully answered she said 'because i really shipped him with alina' BYE #skxhkdhkfhfkjdshd the plan backfired ABORT ABORT 💀💀 #like i was literally conceal-don't-feel-ing my way as if i wasn't running a fully functioning malina sideblog #but she said 'mal is great too' sis i need you to STAN him like i do 😭 #well at least i get a friend to hype season 2 with 😁 #nadya talks into the void

[gallavichy]

In ch.15 of tbm, I found it ironic that Mandy had such a low opinion of PJ when they are living in somewhat similar situations. They both seem to be sorta middle aged exhausted mothers who are also lonely and not very fulfilled in their relationships.

Like why would Mandy want another child if she's already so tired? Also, the way she talked about her husband was passive aggressive, and made me feel like she was disappointed in him. And the way she unflirted with Ian by telling him she's relieved he won't hit on her .. it's just not smth that would cross my mind if I were in a happy relationship.

As for PJ, I know she loves Mickey to bits but part of me can see that she sometimes, even unconsciously, uses him to fill a certain void that should be filled by her husband. She's lonely, and it's very sad when she says things like "I can't talk to Mark". She clearly feels unsupported so I have to ask; why exactly is she still with him?

I also wish she'd stop asking Mickey to do things with Aleks. You said he sighed away his rights. Well, when you sign away your rights, you also sign away your responsibilities. He said he didn't want it, and it's not right for her to keep pushing. She wants the best for Aleks BUT she has Aleks with Mark not Mickey. That was decided years ago. She chose the bigshot lawyer knowing what he was, and now that he's being an asshole to her and the kid, she goes to Mickey for help. It's just not right.

suuuper long answer, but i really enjoyed answering it lol. minor ch. 5 spoilers ahead!

i think you're pretty spot-on in your assessment of them. these characters are far from perfect.

mandy, growing up as a girl in a very male-dominated family, escaped that life by hooking up with and eventually marrying her husband, nick. they don't have much money. she loves him but might not value him as much as she should. she is very much seeking comfort, love, and role security through being a mother. i think she loves her kids very much, but i also think she doesn't know what else to do with her life other than work at the diner and have children. i grew up around so many women like this. i'm related to so many women like this. some people love being mothers and feel like it's one of their purposes in life; some people become mothers so they can have a purpose. mandy is more of the latter, and i don't think that's an unusual position for some poor, small town women to find themselves in.

on the other hand, pj is a woman who has the world at her fingertips and who has married a "socially appropriate" man she genuinely fell in love with but who, as they've grown older, has become less of what she wants in a husband. she's fairly open minded, mark isn't. she cares deeply about her children's social and emotional health and mark wants them to be cookie-cutter children. i think they should get a divorce, as that would ultimately make her a much happier person.

as for her relationship with mickey and what she wants out of his relationship with aleks: i think this will make more sense once we learn what all transpired to make mickey sign away his rights. i think it's important to note that he didn't do it because he didn't "want" aleks, nor did he do it because he was disinterested in being a dad once it happened. pj knows all of that, and her attempts to get them to connect over the years have been with the best of intentions, though like a lot of things regarding mickey, she's pushy by nature and, as mickey notes in chapter 2, has a tough time sometimes understanding that life just isn't as simple as she thinks it is because of her privilege. her "pushiness" regarding aleks will be explored and is meant to read as frustrating for the reader (and for mickey).

i think to sum everything up regarding her, mickey, and aleks: if she had her way, she would have co-parented aleks with mickey from the beginning. at this point, even sixteen years later, she believes in her soul that mickey would be a wonderful dad to aleks, and she's certainly trying to use him to fill in some of the gaps that she thinks mark can't provide or will provide in the wrong way. she wants mickey to give aleks the sex talk because mark will shame him. she wants mickey to be an adult figure who can help guide him into being okay with who he is because she thinks mark will only force him in the opposite direction and make him hate himself. i think she's doing all of it out of love, but is what she's doing okay? all of this will be dealt with. i love pj, and i think she's a great person, but i think she's flawed and needy and is certainly pushing mickey in a way that he's not sure about. but it's also important to note that mickey is a little more open to those things than he was years ago, so i don't want her to come across as forcing mickey into anything or guilting him into anything because that isn't quite what it is....as will be explored in the future! 😊

<3333

#i genuinely love answering questions like this #i have so many thoughts about these characters #tbm #ask gray

[churchyardgrim]

I, STRAHD, by P.N. Elrod

[intro post]

rubs my horrible little goblin hands together hello yes it is time

IT IS HALLOWEEN AND IT IS TIME

this book is, unironically, the best thing i've ever read. almost nothing in it was new information to me, bc i was halfway through a CoS campaign at the time, and also Vampire of the Mists gives a pretty comprehensive cliffnotes version

but the important thing is, imo, knowing whats going to happen did not decrease my enjoyment of it one bit. this aint Game of Thrones dear reader! mind-bending twists are not what this book leans on!

there are some significant differences from the (much shorter) account in Vampire of the Mists, but honestly those i can chalk up to Strahd straight up lying in his diary

because yes, this entire book is Strahd's fuckign diary, and its beautiful

we begin our sordid tale with Strahd taking formal possession of Castle Ravenloft, and thus Barovia, with his best friend i mean lover i mean right hand man Alek Gwilym and a handful of other nobles sworn to his service

this is pre-vampire Strahd, but you wouldn't know it from looking at him! the man's an obligate goth and dresses like a depressed raven while everyone else in his family wears colors, for shame, he drinks beef gravy in the mornings instead of coffee, and fuckign bleeds on the foundations of the castle to claim it as his

i shit u not, there's a line that is verbatim "but i like wearing black!" i cannot make this shit up

they've also given him this sliver of dry humor that i fuckign love actually, these tiny little jokes that you don't notice till they're already half out of sight, it's delightful

anyway the book continues on with Strahd complaining about the minutiae of running this country what he worked so hard to get, ferreting out an assassin in his cohort, and starting his charming lil collection of magic spellbooks

three years later and guess who's coming to live with him! baby brother Sergei! baby brother whomst Strahd has never met, bc he left home for The War before Sergei was born lmao

there's also Your Middlest Brother Sturm, who avoided the entire ensuing cockup cascade by virtue of staying home and becoming an accountant. in this house we love and respect Sturm. 

but yeah Sergei is this chipper lil golden child, 20ish and slated for priesthood as is tradition, bouncing around Castle Ravenloft being all optimistic and pretty and good at swordfighting and it makes Strahd sick

this man is so jealous of his kid brother you guys. he devotes whole paragraphs of his diary talking about how he's gonna have to start dyeing his hair soon, about how depressed he is by the weight of years wasted by war, about how Sergei is everything he never got the chance to be

just god. christ. get a grip i'm begging you.

and then of course comes the last straw. Sergei, precious lil vanilla bean Sergei, brings home a girl. not just any girl either, no, but the prettiest most empty void of personality that ever had the name Tatyana. Strahd takes one fuckign look at her and is Immediately Obsessed.

this, imo, is the weakest part of the whole story by a country mile. point the first, Tatyana just…. isn't a person. she has barely any lines, takes literally no action anywhere in this mess, and even her physical description is vague and unhelpful. in my brain she looks like Keira Knightly. 

and i'm willing to let it slide, by virtue of i'm almost positive this is on purpose. P. N. Elrod is, in fact, a woman (with a very butch author portrait i might add), and she definitely knows what she's doing here. Strahd is a selfish and myopic person, and while he shows no overt misogyny and sure appears to respect the women in his army, all that goes out the window as soon as the woman in question becomes a potential romantic object to him. and given this is his diary we're reading here, unreliable narrator is the name of the game. we only get his perception of Tatyana to go on.

point the second, however, is one i have less tolerance for; Strahd's infatuation with Tatyana is not foreshadowed at all. he bemoans his youth lost to war, and the ever-closer advent of his death, and broody brood goth brood, but at no point does he express any desire for a family. prior to this moment, romance or companionship just do not seem to matter to him. and now they're all he cares about? i think not.

if i were rewriting this for my own nefarious purposes, i'd make the Tatyana thing a side-dish to the main course of his jealousy of Sergei. that's what's foreshadowed and given ample narrative support, i think that's what the clusterfuck that happens next should be leaning on.

but you know, at the end of the day i can forgive this book for a lot. the above is nothing so egregious that i can't put my quibbles aside for a generous helping of what i like best, and what i like best is overdramatic goth men messily murdering ppl in order to become vampires.

which leads us into the meat of the story, Strahd's Big Oopsie! 

the day before Sergei and Tatyana's wedding comes, and Strahd has, of course, devolved into scouring spellbooks for something, anything to break the two of them up. this is a completely sane and rational thing to do, he promises.

the hour grows late, the candles burn down, and Strahd has… a bit of a moment. Death comes to speak to him! at least, something that Strahd identifies as Death, and which doesn't seem interested in disabusing him of the notion.

the bargain offered here is simple; his heart's desire, in exchange for just a few eensie murders, and a smidge of arcane ritual. naturally, Strahd accepts.

what happens next kills me, always and completely, because Alek overheard this. Strahd sees his friend on the walkway outside and practices the famous Barovian sport of longjumping to conclusions, assuming that Alek intends to sound the alarm on him; Alek is forced on the defensive, the two of them swordfighting in beautiful dramatic fashion on a parapet in the rain, before Alek gets lucky and mortally wounds Strahd.

Strahd, now having even less to lose, returns the favor, and we get a scene to rival every wartime "bro dying in ur arms" moment in film history

Alek would have helped you you idiot! you could have had an accomplice! but noooo you had to be a suspicious motherfucker and rush to kill the witness and now look where we are. stupid.

but it's fine, everything's fine, bc Strahd's deal with Death requires blood. so Strahd cuts his friend's throat and drinks the man whole, ascending to lyctorhood i mean kickstarting the whole vampire process

it's extremely sexy and extremely emotional i'm not compromised you're compromised

anyway. Strahd then panics bc oh shit i gotta hide this body and stashes Alek's corpse in his closet. conqueror of nations, everybody, still a fucken chump at not getting caught at murders.

Strahd manages to pass out and has to go through the whole next day pretending he doesn't feel like shit, paranoid and twitchy and waiting for his chance. bc of course one dead friend isn't gonna be enough, no no. he's gotta axe the source.

so he waits, and the hour before the nuptials, he goes to give his babiest brother Sergei a wedding gift of stabby stabby murder. 

shock! horror! everyone saw this coming! Sergei's blood finishes what Alek's had started, and Strahd watches his own reflection vanish in the mirror as the mists start to close in on the castle

Strahd goes to claim his prize i mean Tatyana but uh, Strahd, buddy, idk how to tell u this, but she's just not that into you. the absence of her fiance, what you blamed on a mysterious assassin, is not gonna just make her go "oh well i guess i'll settle for the next best thing" it doesn't work like that my dude.

a lot of things happen at once here; people start yelling, Tatyana goes into grief conniptions, more ppl have died? apparently?? this is news to Strahd and distracts him long enough for Tatyana to make Rash Womanly Decisions and literally sprint off a cliff about it

istg someday i'm gonna write something that does this woman justice bc none of the established lore has, ever

anyway this is the point where Barovia as a whole lands with a lurch squarely in the dread domains; the first dread domain, actually, cemented in place and sealed off from the outside world by Strahd's Terrible Awful Very Bad No Good Day

it turns out that someone else picked this night to spring a trap, too! Leo Dilisnya, one of Strahd's lieutenants and a man whose name compels me to picture him with cat ears, had initiated a coup at pretty much the exact moment Strahd was busy murdering his brother. what a coincidence!

the good (?) news is, they haven't yet figured out that Strahd's not exactly human anymore, so they're proceeding with the coup as planned while their primary target is in fact recovering from all the arrow holes they put in him, and is also realizing exactly how tasty everyone around him suddenly looks

long story short, Strahd gets what little of his crew is both still loyal and still alive out of Castle Ravenloft, and slaughters literally everyone else

thus ends the cockup cascade of the century, leaving Strahd lording over an empty and now extremely haunted castle, with no brother, no girlfriend, and maybe five people in the whole world who he can still expect to rely upon in the future, cue five year broodfest

seriously, he spends the next however many years sulking, only sticking his head out the door to collect taxes and maybe eat an outlaw or three, and boy, if you thought he was bad before his ultimate goth makeover…

i shit you not, he spends an entire page complaining about how his coffin, what he pre-ordered two years prior to All That, has brass fittings instead of gold. and then he complains about how his custom made black marble plinth is HELD UP IN SHIPPING

i love this man so fuckign much. i want to trap him in a locker and steal his lunch money.

he also disguises the fact that he's got no fuckign staff left by pretending to be his own chamberlain whenever he has to deal with People, Ugh, and you can just tell how much he loves talking about himself in the third person

anyway Ol' Leo got away after his coup hit a vampire-shaped snag, and Strahd's been too depressed to track him down for like… thirty years at this point

the entirety of your universe is now twenty miles across, Strahd, i think you could have found him before now if you put your back into it

but he finally gets around to it and we get a frankly hilarious bit where Strahd waltzes into the abbey where Leo's been hiding out, confident as anything, and Immediately walks into a fuckign faraday cage of holy symbols and nearly gets his ass staked

but it's cool, it's fine, he gets his man, and then has to clamber over the abbey wall while carrying a corpse and it's a comedy of errors from start to finish istg

it's ok Strahd bb, you'll get the hang of this vampire thing sooner or later

anyway in a stroke of cruel genius he buries the dude in a cement tomb, lets him revive as a vampire spawn, and then fuckign leaves him there to starve

real mansplain manipulate malewife moment right there, 10/10

and such is life for our resident tortured goth overlord, until, until! guess who he runs into

fuckign Tatyana! again! fifty-plus years after her impromptu basejumping attempt!

yes we're dancing that old chestnut, the object of obsession reincarnating every few decades only to tragically die inches from Strahd's grasp, again and again and again ok we get it can we pack it in now

this lady really gets a raw deal here! she's not being punished for anything, she's just kept in her own bespoke loop of suffering for the sake of making the guy who murdered her fiance even more sad

(there is an argument to be made that the Tatyana that Strahd keeps finding and losing in the world's worst game of Where's Waldo, might not be the real Tatyana. the Dark Powers have set president for replacing the real people best suited for twisting the knife in given Darklords with constructed facsimiles, so it's not impossible that Tatyana's soul isn't trapped in an unending nightmare of death and resurrection through literally no fault of her own. not impossible, but also not likely. yes i am mad about this.)

anyway that's our lot with this one, and hoo boy did this one get long. sorry to the four of you who made it this far, but also not sorry bc this is my favorite book of all time

and i know that's a weird thing to say immediately after bitching about how it treats The Sexy Lamp Named Tatyana, but hear me out. i did say i could forgive this book for a lot of things, and Tatyana's whole deal is one of them. make of that what you will.

but aside from its bugbears, this book is fuckign fantastic. it's what i wanted when i read Dracula for the first time and spent the whole read confused and annoyed about who the hell are all these english twats. the writing is delightfully dry when it's not heartwrenchingly gothic, Strahd as a character is absolutely written tongue-in-cheek by someone who knows what she's doing, and it's just [chef kiss] delicious all around. i can't wait to reread it next year once it's faded somewhat and i can reexperience it all fresh and tasty again

if you can spring for the price tag of $40-$60, depending on where you look, i absolutely recommend it. there's also an audiobook, but i can't vouch for the narration quality there. but if you can, read it! consume this book whole like a ravenous python! that's what i'm doing as we speak!

#church's ravenloft reviews #i strahd #GUYS THIS IS UR HALLOWEEN GIFT #JOIN ME IN THE SPLENDOR OF THIS BOOK

[where-theres-smoak-2]

The Bonesmith, Baghra and Aleksander

So here’s the next instalment of I noticed something interesting during my rewatch of S&B that nobody else likely cares about but well I’m sharing it with you all anyway. Also there are some book spoilers in here so tread careful if you haven't read them and don’t want to be spoilt.  

So whilst rewatching ep 3 I caught onto something the Apparat said that I thought was kind of interesting about the Bonesmith, something that I think can tell us alot about Aleksander and Baghra’s relationship but also Baghra’s motivations for separating darklina in episode 5.

 Anyone who has read the books will know that the Bonesmith is actually Ilya Morozova who is Aleksander’s grandfather. He was one of the first grisha and a very powerful fabrikator who created the amplifiers. What I thought was interesting was that the Apparat explains why the Bonesmith created the amplifiers in the first place which I don’t believe this is explained in the books but correct me if I am wrong as I am only half way through the third book. The apparat says ‘He (the bonesmith) knew that the grisha would always be prosecuted and so he worked on a plan to magnify their power.’ This obviously suggests that Ilya Morozova saw the grisha’s suffering and wanted to do something about it, in fact he becomes obsessed with it, with creating the amplifiers. I can’t help but wonder if this is why Aleksander is so convinced that its Morozova’s amplifiers that will help make grisha safe. Why he is so obsessed with them and finding them because he knows that protecting the grisha is exactly what they were made for in the first place.

 It could also explain why Baghra is so against Aleksander finding them and his obsession with them, also why she is so against Aleksander wanting to help the grisha and why she has much more of a just leave them to it you’re more important anyway, kind of attitude about the grisha’s plight. Her father’s obsession with the amplifiers is what lead to Baghra feeling so isolated in her childhood and also what lead to her family being torn apart. Baghra’s story is just as tragic as Aleksander’s and has some eerie similarities. She grew up feeling ignored and neglected by both her parents, her father was too obsessed with creating the amplifiers to pay his family much attention and her mother was so afraid of Baghra’s powers that she kept her distance and paid alot more attention to Baghra’s younger sister. Until one day her sister broke one of her toys and in anger and jealousy Baghra lashed out with the cut and killed her sister. Her father was able to use his fabrikator abilities and merzost to bring her sister back from the dead. The villagers upon seeing this miracle decided to chain up her father and sister and throw them both into the river to drown. Baghra and her mother flee but her mother was too traumatised by the events to keep going and in the end Baghra abandons her in the woods out of desperation to survive and finds her way to a farm. The people there took her in and put out a search party for her mother but they never found her and it is assumed she starved to death in the woods. Even with her feeling neglected by her family this is still a very traumatic thing for Baghra to go through and it all happens when she is a young girl. Unfortunately I do believe she passed her trauma onto her son and in the end she ends up becoming the neglectful parent herself and makes her son feel as isolated and alone as she did growing up. Also don’t know how relevant it is but both Aleksander and Baghra used the cut for the first time as a child and in both instances it was against another child/ children which you know tragic, just loads of tragedy in the lives of the Morozovas. 

I really do think that alot of the reason why Baghra acts against Aleksander so much in his pursuit of saving the grisha is because of her experiences with her father. In episode 7 when Aleksander talks about using merzost to create an army to protect the grisha from the old king just like Morozova used merzost to create, Baghra tells him he’ll die just like Morozova did. This is obviously something she fears. If you look at it from her perspective at this time she was watching her son being hunted by the king, a king who wanted her son dead because he was afraid of how powerful Aleksander’s powers were. This is very similar to what happened to her father, the people feared his power and they killed him for it. In R&R she tells Alina ‘Ravka was different then. Grisha had no sanctuary. Power like ours ended in fates like my father’s.’ Whilst Baghra was often cold towards Aleksander I do think she loves him and he is the most important thing to her so seeing her son seeming to follow in her father’s footsteps terrifies her and so she decides to do everything in her power to stop him.   

However this just drives a wedge further between them. Protecting grisha is something that Aleksander cares deeply about. Whilst Aleksander might be the most important thing to Baghra, the grisha are the most important to Aleks. And Aleksander believes two things, that the answer to protecting the grisha lies in Morozova’s amplifiers and Alina. They together are the key. I do find it very interesting that Morozova’s and Aleksander’s goals were very similar, they both want to make things better for the Grisha. They both also become obsessed with this goal and the amplifiers as a solution. Aleksander has that added level of obsession with the sun summoner, maybe he believes this was the missing piece to the amplifiers, the amplifiers have been created and now they need someone to wear them, the sun summoner. I think Aleksander sees him being the one to find the amplifiers and along with the sun summoner using them to protect the grisha as a way of completing his grandfather’s work. Also its worth noting that Aleksander never knew his grandfather who died before he was born and he also never knew his own father, his mother never even tells Aleks his father’s name the only thing that is known about him is that he was a powerful heartrender. From reading Demon in the Woods its obvious that Aleks feels this void of his absent father. He never really has a father figure in his life. Back then sons would often following in their father’s footsteps, would go into their father’s trade, inherit their farm, or blacksmith shop etc. Those same trades were likely the trades of those boys’ grandfathers as well and so those boys grow up to continue on the family legacy. But Aleks has no trade or skill to inherit because he has no father. That is until he learns of his grandfather's plans. I think Aleksander sees his search for the amplifiers and making sure they are used for what they were intended to be used for as him kind of going into the family trade. Its a weak link but it is still a link to a male family figure and that makes him feel more like the other boys he grows up around. As isolated as he is from them, as different as he is from them, in this way he is the same because he too is continuing his family’s legacy. Also slight side note here but another thing I noticed that I thought was quite telling is that there are two grisha that Aleks seems to respect and admire for their skills and who he kind of defends against others, Ivan and David. When he senses disdain from Alina towards Ivan he makes that joke about how he is actually quite funny when you get to know him, essentially defending him and it is obvious that Ivan is Aleksander’s righthand man and that Aleks has alot of respect for him. Also when David says he can track Alina using the ring, Aleks says he’s proving the many uses of a durast. More so in the books than the show but the other grisha do consider fabrikators to be somewhat useless and the weakest of the grisha a view that Aleksander doesn’t seem to share. What I find interesting about this is that the two grisha he seems to admire (outside of Alina obviously) are a heartrender and a fabrikator the two ‘trades’ of his father and grandfather.    

But I also think  Aleksander has some complicated feelings about his grandfather. I do think he admires Morozova but I think a little part of him also resents being his descendant. I said in my Darkling Analysis post that when Aleks was talking at the fountain about being the descendant of the most hated grisha in all of Ravka he might not have been outright lying to Alina. That he might have been talking about someone else not the black heretic (obviously because he is the black heretic). At the time I wrote that analysis I hadn’t read the books but now that I have I think I might have been on to something. I think in that moment he was talking about his grandfather who before the black heretic was the most hated and feared grisha in all of Ravka. It’s because of this and because of the nature of their powers that Baghra forces Aleks to hide his true identity to the point where he begins to worry he’ll forget his own name. I can well believe that as a boy he would run away and hide there and throw a coin to wish he could be anyone else, someone who wasn’t Ilya Morozova’s grandson, someone who didn’t need to hide all the time and could just be a normal boy. 

Next I want to talk about episode 5 and Baghra’s motivations for separating Aleks and Alina. As I’ve mentioned above I really do think that Aleks believes Alina is the key to the amplifiers and that they were meant for her. I also think that Baghra knows this too. But I also think the books can give as another clue into her motivations. In S&S when Alina meets Baghra again Baghra is very angry with Alina because instead of running and getting on the ship Baghra organised for her, Alina went after the stag and got caught and collared. Obviously in the show it happens slightly different and the thing that Alina does differently is running on her own instead of waiting in the store room for others like Baghra told her too, but its still the same idea of Alina not following Baghra’s plan. But the reason why she is angry is because she feels like because of Alina he has lost his humanity. In the books Baghra explains her actions by saying: 

Baghra pounded the floor with her stick. “I wanted to keep him from becoming a monster! It’s too late for that now, isn’t it? Thanks to you, he is further from human than he’s ever been. He’s long past any redemption.” 

“Maybe,” I admitted. “But Ravka isn’t beyond saving.” 

“What do I care what happens to this wretched country? Is the world so very fine that you think it worth saving?”

Baghra’s goal was to stop her son from becoming a monster and I again think this stems from what the villagers did to her father and just the attitude others, including other grisha, have had towards her and her son because of their powers. The villagers saw her father as a monster because of the power he possessed and how he was able to bring his child back from the dead. Pretty much everyone saw her and her son as monsters because of their powers, including Baghra’s own mother. I do think because of her trauma she has come to associate being a monster with their powers or having alot of power. Also the passage above shows that she doesn’t really care about Ravka so that’s not what is driving her. I think she has been let down and mistreated so many times by the people of Ravka, both otkazat'sya and grisha alike, that she has the attitude of they never helped me so why should I want to save them. I think her experiences have made her very angry at the world and so she doesn’t think it is worth saving. So in episode 5 when she says that they cannot let Aleksander obtain that kind of power I don’t think its because she is worried what it will mean for the world. It’s because she fears two things, one that if he obtains that power people will become more afraid of him and want to kill him like the old king did in the past and like the villagers did with her father. The other fear is the one she talks about above, she’s afraid he’ll become a monster and that he will lose his humanity. I think she fears this because on some level she feels like that’s what happened to her. That she became so detached and angry at the world that she stopped caring about anything but Aleksander. I mean she has done some monstrous things in her life, for example in Demon in the Woods she helps slaughter an entire village of innocent people including woman and children because she wants to protect her son. I think she knows how good intentions can lead you down a dark path and she doesn’t want that to happen to her son. Ironically I would actually argue that its her interference in separating Alina and Aleks that helps push him down that path. 

We know that Baghra thinks its Alina that is pushing Aleks further from humanity and I can’t help but wonder why she would think this. I mean in my opinion Alina is what pulls him back to his humanity and I’m pretty sure this is book canon too. I haven’t read it but I’ve seen this quote from ROW going around “Why did you go to her?" Because with her he was human again.’  I think the reason why Baghra thinks Alina will push Aleks away from his humanity partly stems back to this idea Aleks has of using the sun summoner and the amplifiers together to expand the fold in an attempt to keep grisha safe. I think she fears that Aleks will keep doing more and more monstrous things in an attempt to reach his goal because she knows that teaching him that he was the most important and the only one that matters and by teaching him to stay isolated and separated by society she has made him less caring, less empathetic and therefore less human. She also knows that Aleks believes the sun summoner is the key so she thinks without Alina he can’t go through with his plans and so she attempts to remove Alina from the equation by convincing her to run. 

Obviously Baghra’s version of how and why the fold was created is very different than what happened and I think the reason why is because she knows that Alina cares about Aleks and so in order to convince her to leave him she decides to try and scare her in to it. If she tells Alina that Aleks accidently created the fold whilst grieving for his lost love and trying to protect his people who are being hunted and killed and now he wants to expand the fold because he thinks that will scare their enemies into not killing and torturing grisha, well it might not be enough to get Alina to leave. Alina might decide that Aleks’ aim is a sympathetic one and that there is still enough humanity in him to try and save him. Instead she tells Alina that her son is a power hungry monster who created the fold for his own gain, who is going to enslave her and expand the fold, who doesn’t care about Alina at all and who has spent an eternity manipulating girls to his scandalous whims and dark desires. The image she paints of Aleksander is much more frightening and plays into all of Alina’s fears and insecurities. Look I really hated that Baghra did this but I also think it is important to remember that Baghra really does believe that she is protecting and saving her son. I don’t think she’s doing it out of maliciousness or because she wants her son to fail and doesn’t want him to be happy. She just believes because of her own experiences that if he continues the path he’s is taking then the world will turn against him again and he’ll be brutally killed. She knows that Alina is a powerful weapon and so to her the logical step in preventing her son from going down this path is to take Alina away from him. 

As to whether Baghra knew how much Aleks cared about Alina before she intervened, I’m not sure. I’m in two minds on it to be honest because a part of me thinks she was really convincing when she told Alina that Aleks was manipulating her and had done so with other woman in the past, which makes me think maybe she really did think Aleks was just manipulating Alina and was only interested in her for her power. But then on the other hand during their conversation in episode 5 when Aleksander says that Alina is all that matters now and that she is the one, Baghra doesn’t seem surprised by this which would suggest that she knows that Aleks’ feelings run deeper. I will say that even if she did know that Aleks cared deeply for Alina, I mean personally I think it was pretty obvious that by the time of the winter fete he’s head over heels in love with her, it wouldn’t have mattered a great deal in regards to her plan. In fact I think it might even have made her even more determined to separate them and I think this is because of Luda. As mentioned above Baghra fears her son will lose his humanity and become a monster. Aleks loved Luda very much and it was losing her that was the catalyst, or part of it, that lead to the creation of the fold. Therefore I think Baghra would consider Aleks loving anyone a danger. It’s all very good and well her son knowing the delights of love but what if he loses that person? What monstrous thing will he create next? Baghra has always believed that keeping her son isolated and hidden is what will keep him safe which is why she tells him to run and hide and get a new name in the flashback in episode 7. Just as protecting the grisha is what drives Aleks, protecting Aleksander is what drives Baghra.             

So yeah that’s my I've thought waay too much into this analysis of the Morozova family and its effect on why darklina were torn asunder. At least until the next instalment of ooh that’s interesting I never spotted that before. 

#the darkling #baghra morozova #aleksander morozova #darklina

[overthefjords]

@attrociteas (x)

How did they get here? Whatever the answer, Arthur doesn’t doubt that it’s his fault, beginning with the night he’d more or less run out of the room at Aleks’s utterance of those very three simple words that you never really expect to hear, but which can turn your entire world perspective upside down when you do. It’s been a little bit since then, and since the day he promised Aleks they’d have a proper talk about it at some point or another. Even now feels too soon, and every attempt to formulate a response feels like he’s being vivisected.

Now Aleks’s words earn him only a roll of his eyes, if partly to obscure the fact that he’s been tearing up from frustration. At the fact that they even have to talk about these things. At the fact that he’s put himself in this position. And at the fact that he can’t understand exactly why all of this is so fucking difficult.

“Mhm, okay,” he says, pursing his lips and wishing he could just leave it at that. He could. This time, they’re lying in his bed, and he could simply kick Aleks out of his bedroom, at the very least, if not out of the house. But that’s harsh and needless, and it strikes him that it’s not actually an option, at least not a consequence-less one. Which is precisely the problem with all of this. “It’s not … it doesn’t matter, that’s not the — it’s not that you would or wouldn’t,” he says, rubbing with his hand at his left eye. It doesn’t matter whether Aleks thinks he would hurt him or not—and Arthur firmly believes he could, whether he’d mean to or not—but that he even has that power, which is a power that can only be given. At this point, he can’t even pinpoint the moment that he decided he liked and cared for Aleks enough for that to be true. It had simply happened, and to imagine a different outcome now was nearly impossible. “I don’t … You know, I just don’t think you understand. I fucking hate feeling like this. I might as well be fucking … human or something.“

“What’s wrong with being human? With... Well. Feeling like this, as you say?” The question is poised as if it sits upon the sharp edge of a knife, one false slip and it’s going to draw blood. Aleks feels the thick tension in the air, knows its been brewing like a nasty storm over too-warm seas. He hates how this feels, thick and cloying like the worst of atmospheres before the break of a summer thunderstorm. 

“It matters.” His insistence is simple and is not repeated, but sits like a stone in a pond, heavy and unaffected by the ripples. These things are said as if they are fact, unmoved by emotion. It’s a protective thing for him to be acting this way, to tuck away the tenderness and the doting and the affection that is as well-woven into Aleks’ bones as ivy embedded in an old, crumbling brick wall. “It matters because... Well. If that is what you think of feelings, then is that what you think of me?” Sitting up properly, Aleks slips his legs off of the bed to plant his feet on the floor, back turned to his companion. “No, I clearly do not understand. I would understand if you would fucking talk to me instead of just brushing it off and filling the void of silence with words that have no meaning in the hopes that I’ll give up and stop asking. It’s never worked thus far and it’s not going to, so either give it up or we don’t have to fucking do this.” Whether he was referring to this conversation or something else, well, that was to be determined.

#tw long post #attrociteas #stormy seas and stalwart anchors;; attrociteas #ooh spoicy conflict #v; of dogs and snowpacks

[sith-shenanigans]

untitled kotor ficlet

***

An unnamed colony

Shortly after Cathar

“If I say we couldn’t have done anything,” Alek asked, lowering himself onto the rubble beside her, “would you believe me?”

Revan closed her eyes, as if blocking out the physical portion of the devastation would help. It didn’t. “No,” she said, quietly. “I don’t think I would.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t think I would either,” he admitted. “But it was worth a try, hm?”

“Can’t blame you for trying,” she agreed. With a hollow chuckle, she leaned forwards, folding her arms on top of her knees. “Can’t blame any of us for trying. Void…”

“Oh, little asteroid gods. Do not start sulking on us, Revan, not now.” His grip tightened, fingers pressing in against the hard muscle of her arm, but his aura was only worry. “We all need you too much…” He sighed. “We did save the hostages, you know. That wasn’t for nothing.”

“Damn it. You’re right, on both counts, I know. But… damn it.” She opened her eyes again, feeling something grim and cold behind them. Don’t look away, she thought. You did this; don’t you dare look away. “I’m going to have to talk to them. I’m going to address this. I’m going to have to say—” She let out a breathy, bitter laugh, her vocoder turning it into a sound like the hiss of steam. “This wasn’t right. That’s the problem, Alek. We didn’t do the right thing.”

“You think we should have let them die?” It wasn’t quite an accusation, from him. Just curiosity, bland and patient in his presence, and a reserving of judgement. (He was never so patient with anyone else. He didn’t have the same faith in their answers.)

“I think… yes. I think so.” Revan pressed her lips together, rolling her shoulders just slightly as she straightened. “I had too much faith,” she said, “that we could save both. The hostages and the city. Fewer lives now and more later. As if we—I—could not fail. And so we were too late.” She put a hand on Alek’s, thinking steadiness, thinking strength, and she stood. “That was the Council’s idea of being a Jedi. That a few people meant more than ten thousand, just because we would have to see them die. How could that ever be right? If that’s our principle, then we’re—idiots, firstly—and a liability to the war. We were played, today. We were blackmailed.” Her breath was slow and even in her throat. “We won’t be again.”

“Good speech,” murmured Alek. He moved to follow her towards their camp, the vornskr-shadow at her back. “Think the others will listen?”

“Yes.” There was a durasteel certainty in her voice. “They’ve seen what happened here. They can feel it almost as well as I can. They’ll listen.” Revan frowned, behind the mask, at the camp silhouetted against the ruined horizon. “And if they don’t,” she added softly, “then they shouldn’t be here anyway. Not now.”

“Mm.” He tipped his head to the side, as if conceding some point. “I feel like it won’t be a problem.”

It was comforting, on a deeply-ingrained level, to have his presence beside her. Sometimes, it still seemed like the only way to keep her thoughts from running away with her completely was to let him hold them—like he had done since they were children, since she had first come back to their bunkroom with an armful of the older students’ textbooks. He was an anchor back to that time. Her presence mixed with his as they walked, sharing in the raw tiredness neither of them could show, leaning against him without them ever touching. I’m here. I’m here.

And so was he. Always.

#io's writing #kotor #not revalek but also not NOT revalek #it's complicated #also yes this is hes #oc: hestera soral aka revan

[aestronautics]

3.

DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT WE DID LAST NIGHT.

The note had come through the Doyle's letter slot addressed to Linus. Wyatt's handwriting looked as angry as his face had been out in the woods when Aleks had almost stopped him.

The "thing" they did--Linus still couldn't quite latch his brain on it. His thoughts seemed to slide around the event. When he closed his eyes and tried to remember all he could see was a dark, cavernous void. It was a darkness so complete it scared him, made him shake his head and snap open his eyes.

"What's that?" said Aleks coming out of the kitchen bouncing a single orange from one hand to the other.

Linus held out the note. "From Wyatt."

Aleks's eyes moved quickly over the wrinkled page. "Oh, he's afraid. Now that they found that dead girl at Malcolm's house this morning." Linus's forehead creased with worry. "What's that have to do with us?"

Aleks tossed the orange back and forth. "Maybe nothing. But it's no little thing, what we did. Or, what the twins did. Unleashing the Angel from the lake...that energy...It has consequences."

@nosebleedclub’s DEC. PROMPTS [ #3: Ophanim ]

#response #december prompts #my writing #sfss

[aromantic-karamatsu]

Y'all love Macaque I get it just know while you're fawning over your baby girl and cuddling him close I'm in the corner rizzing up Wukong while you guys distract him

#me pushing macaque out of the room: move bitch I'm risking it all #i am azure lion #text #my post #aleks talks into the void #yeah uh #reader x wukong #reader is me

[loveyboyslovin]

An Update

Hello there my dearest friends! I honestly don’t know how many of you are left after the end of Cow Chop, but it’s been a while so I thought I’d better let you know what’s been happening.

As you know, I’m finished university now, but things have been a little weird with Covid and the state of the world, and it has been fairly hard to write anything. The fact that I was once again unmedicated for my ADHD wasn’t helping.

Within the last couple of weeks, though, I sorted out some new meds which are helping me to complete the illustration work that I’m doing on a freelance basis. Because of that, I think that I’m finally in a place where I’ll be able to continue my writing, even if it’s only slow goings. If Incubus AU taught me anything, it’s that I can achieve anything if I really put in the hard work and set myself to proper standards.

To begin with, I’m going to complete the one-shot I’m halfway through writing, a sequel to Just Want You that’s set in an alternate version of my Incubus AU where James and Brett are married and they eventually meet and both fall for Aleks. That sequel is half done, and I’m going to make sure I finish it and upload it for you guys. I really hope that you enjoy it!

After that, I may post some stories in ‘dot-point form’ because I can write those much quicker and they allow me to get my ideas out there easier. If I have the strength, I will hopefully write proper length ones. To begin with, I’m thinking that these will be based in my Modern Magics AU, because I truly love that concept and I have never actually gone anywhere with it.

Anyway, I might be talking into the void at this point, but if anyone still has the deep love for Cow Chop that won’t leave me until the day I die, I hope that you’ll enjoy what’s to come!

And once again, a massive thank you to everyone who has ever supported me and my content. I’ll never be able to tell you just how monumental an impact you’ve had on my life! <3

#cow chop #incubus au #incubus au au #modern magics au #update

[voidsfanficfortress]

Reader is latina ( more specifc, Argentine,bc yours truly is from there).

This has mentions of whats going on on south american, and also kind of hurt comfort.

●♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤●

Poker nights were fun.

Only IF you were and spectator.

-i dont get it- you say looking at the cards that displayed on the table before you- how in the fuck do you have a six if gilles already had one?-The old timers look at you, amaru even stares at you like she had a sudden realization- beacause to one point you have him a six, and you said this cards do not repeat, so how the hell do you have a six Vicente?-

Capitao stared daggers at you,like " dont blow my cover".

Then out of nothing alek flips the table and cracks his nuckles, you and amaru decide to retreat out the kitchen.

-¿Cómo te habías dado cuenta de eso?-( how did you notice that?) Amaru asked you.

-era muy obvio,¡ yo sabía que se estaba carteando!- ( it was way to obvious, I knew he had cards up his sleeve!) You answer- he gets nervous every time he pickes a card -

- youre really observant, no surprise you and ryad get along so well- the peruvian commments

Both of you Walked to the rooms area.

-Hows he?-you question-, I heard hes getting closer to the hijo de puta ( son of a bitch) that Killed his brother-

-He is, he has almost all the evidence he needs-

-Im so happy for him-

-we all are- says the older woman- we all are-

[...]

Capitao entered the kitchen, ignoring the russian old timer's gaze, then he looks at you, or at your back.

-bom dia- he mutters half asleep, making a coffee.

Then he hears sobbs, your sobbs, in reflex, he turns around, and looks at you, putting a hand on your shoulder.

- Hey...you fine?-You turn around, eyes red, Pink cheeks, and broken breath.The brazilian hugs you, caressing your hair, trying to calm you down- what happened- you dont answer- what happened( y/n) -

-my siblings- the woman says- they are running out of money, dad has no work, and the manifestations are getting violent...they almost hurt my youngest sister...-Alek gets up, about to say something, but Vicente shakes his head, then the russian leaves.

The brazilian Man sits you on the sofa, giving you a cup of tea, he caresses your back.

-Todo se está llendo a la mierda-(everythings going to shit), you know whats going on on your home country, Chilean protest, Venenzuela is starving and Argentina's money is devaluing at alarming rates, god...I hate this- you say- this isnt us, aquí se comparte ( here we share) lo mío es tuyo ( whats mine is yours) * , and my siblings, they Barely have money for food, amd and i miss my little Angels...-

Capitao lets you talk, lets you vent, knowing how hard it is now in south america, how people suffer, how people protest and fight for what is rightfully theirs,and yes, your job is people suffering , seeing people suffer, but this is your home, people you know , the place where youre from, your origins , your roots, and its okay to let it hurt, and it is okay to get angry when the americans say shit and complain for silly stuff, its okay to be angry at the people who can help and doesnt.

So he lets you cry.

And cry.

Until you fall asleep in his arms.

[...]

You wake up in your room, smelling food,your body rises from the bed, seeing the tray full of pastries and a hot drink.

[ ...]

Its been almost a month, you and Vicente grew really close, bonding over where you were from, sharing your traditions,your ways.

And even tho you both knew about the others country just for being in the same continent, both of you felt like the country of eachother were as your own.

- So- you say,a Sly smile on your face - you ready for poker night?-

-I am- the brazilian Man said, smirking- that russian dog doesnt know whats in for him tonight -

-well, before you go, I need to make sure youre not slipping cards on your sleeves-

- What are you, the poker police- he grunts as you see into the pockets of his pants and shirt- trust me I dont have--

- You liar!- you screm grabbing a deck of cards off of his shirt's pocket- I knew you werent going to --

Your screams of victory were cut off by capitao's lips on yours, in that moment the world stops,leaning on the kiss, you Grab his waist and pull him closer.

-Fuck- you say- took you long enough!-

Then you kiss again.

[...]

-Were is souza?-

The russian veteran asks.

- I bet hes scheming more of his dirty play-

Then jackal comes in with a very unconfortable face.

-Whats up Ramírez?-

Amaru asks.

-I know why souza isnt here-

-tell US!- the old timers demand.

- trust me , you dont want to know-..

Both of you skippped poker night, for once.

[ ...]

- hermana!- ( sister) you hear a child scram from behind you- te extrañamos!- ( we missed you!)

You turn around to see your youngest sibling, Enzo, running at you with his older sister, isabela, you scoop them up and twirl them around in your arms.

- do you like my surprise?-

Vicente asks, smiling as your older brother and sister, Florencia and lautaro are behind him.

-So thats why you werent here today! -

Later that day, you and your family, had dinner togheter, and a poker night, and for once Vicente played fair.

●♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤●

* lyrics from Latinoamérica, by calle 13

- Void

@grain-crain-drain

#r6 capitao #r6s #x reader

[renegade-skywalker]

I haven’t really been as involved in fandom stuff or posting on here as much as I usually do/would like to (other than reblogging here and there while I try not to burn out at work) but I had this idea that my exile, Eden, and her brother Aiden rekindle their twin Force bond after running into each other on Korriban (sort of... Aiden/Erebus is still playing sides...) and decide to Force Skype and I randomly began writing it so this the result of that... *releases wild head canon into the internet*

---    

          “It’s… weird,” she said, her voice humming, even in his mind, “Seeing you here. Seeing you there.”

              Eden was alone in a bunk, and a cushy one at that, Erebus noted. The room was large enough to house a desk, a small dining table with two place settings, and a double bed on the far side of the wall, a sliver of closet visible beside the bed from where he could see her. In his minds’ eye, Eden was the sole focus, the rest of the room a bit faded and blurry, but clear enough for him to make out the bunk’s contents. She even had a small porthole, its window ablaze with the white-blue of hyperspace in the space of wall beside the dining table. She had several datapads stored there haphazardly, a stylus and a discarded robe, and not to mention the bed was a total mess.

              “Still judging my living habits, I see,” she smiled, almost appearing comfortable. “You’re as proper as always.”

              It felt so strange, speaking to her like this, seeing her like this. They had only touched on something like this when they were younger, exchanging quick messages telepathically during their lessons, occasionally sending each other snippets of thought, flashes of images to supplement their mental notes, making fun of or complaining about Master Vrook all the while. But now… he could see all of her, and feel her too, her quiet calm and soothing energy, more in-tune with herself than she’d ever been…

              “An organized mess, as can be expected,” he replied after a moment too long, “Doesn’t look so unusual, huh?”

              Eden shook her head, almost happy at the sameness of it, and Erebus smiled, too. Same. It did feel as it had before, when they were young, when they were close, when they were all each other had.

              “Have you… ever done this before?” Eden asked, unsure of what to do with her hands, though it looked like she wanted to reach out and touch him, to test the realness of it, as if to enter his room through whatever window they’d opened in a rift of the Force, through the eye of the needle they’d threaded through space and time.

              “Not quite,” he admitted, almost laughing with mirth at the very idea, “This is… I mean, this is rather incredible.”

              He could go on for ages. It seemed such a feat, to reach across space to speak to one another in each others’ minds yet also in the flesh somehow, as if they were both granted a glimpse of the other by merely willing it to be so.

              “You’ve seen quite a bit, so I’m guessing that’s a lot coming from you,” Eden said, almost a question but also most certainly not. She knew what he studied, had perused his notes, examined his life’s work. She’d seen the inside of his ship and the things he’d stored there. “I think… I think I understand it now, and… I’m sorry I never-“

              She cut herself off, her eyes almost glassy.

              “Did you see the rest of the Academy?” she asked again, blinking away tears, her curiosity still clear on her face, “Or did you-? I don’t know, I guess Korriban isn’t exactly new to you, is it?”

              Erebus wanted to laugh but he didn’t. The idea was genuinely funny, though not in the sense that he was laughing at her, just the idea… but a lump in his throat stopped him, forced him to take a breath before answering.

              “I’d studied there, yes,” he said, his voice low, almost a whisper, “But… it’s been a while.”

              “I would imagine,” Eden breathed a laugh now, though not with amusement, “I couldn’t believe some of what we’d found, what I saw in the records, the archives. It’s a wonder any of it is still there. After everything, and I just… I don’t know.”

              Eden shook her head, looking away, wringing her hands in her lap. He could feel it again – Eden’s emotions, waves of feeling lapping at the very edges of his consciousness, as if their life forces were pools rippling awfully close in an endless, cosmic pool – and he couldn’t help but ask.

              “What is it?” he asked, though he almost knew what it was, sensing the guilt suddenly teeming off of her, replacing the calm that was there only moments ago.

              “I… I think I get it now,” she said after a moment, returning her gaze to him as she finished her sentence, “It never interested me then, but…”

              “Things have changed,” he said, sensing her thoughts and speaking them freely, “So now you know why I-“

              “You were the perfect student for Atris,” Eden laughed, though this time there was genuine amusement in her voice, in her face, her eyes lighting up as she sighed before continuing, “I couldn’t have cared less, at least not at the time, and still she chose to fixate on me, she wanted to tutor me, when she had the perfect student right in front of her.”

              Erebus said nothing, Atris’ rejection still a fresh hurt, even after all these years. And yet-

              “But I think I understand your side of things, as well,” Erebus admitted, holding his sister’s gaze, “I felt it. Kavar’s approval, or lack thereof. Even when you surpassed his skills and beyond. What. A fucking. Fool.”

              Anger rippled at the base of his chest, yet he could tell Eden felt it too, either in remembering her own hurts or in realizing they were both scorned as students, yet had failed to confide in each other, all because the Council forced them apart.

              “We should have been friends,” Eden said, her voice heavy, “We should have been friends.”

              “Council be damned, at least we can agree on that.”

              “Damned, indeed,” Eden agreed darkly.  “But the Sith…”

              Erebus felt Eden’s thoughts, images flashing before his eyes as she ruminated, her thoughts not yet forming adequate words – the Sith ruins, the Academy, the remnants of the tombs, but also Alek, and Revan and everything that predicated Erebus’ training, his true calling, his-

              “It’s fascinating,” Eden admitted, her words quick as if she were afraid of who may overhear her and judge her for it, “Everything. The Sith may have caused so much death, created it even, but the things they’ve discovered, the things they built-“

              Erebus knew Eden did not mean their monuments or their temples, but the devices he studied, the tools the Sith had discovered to harness the Force and explore it, the very things that fueled his work and his interest.

              “It’s a wonder what the selfishness can accomplish when dedicated to their own self-preservation,” he said, “Cowards, the lot of them.”

              He watched Eden, a smile flitting over her face in amusement at the truth in his statement, before he added, “Myself included.”

              She didn’t correct him, though her shock at his honesty was apparent. He wasn’t sure if it was as clearly written on her face so much as it was felt, his intuition sure of her feeling as soon as he’d said it. She agreed, but she also didn’t. And she couldn’t explain why.

              “We don’t have to unpack all that now,” he assured, trying to make light of his words and change the subject, “But… I like that we can talk like this, now, even if-“

              “Even if we should have been allowed to, decades ago?” Eden finished for him. “Imagine what we could have done if the Council hadn’t-?”

              “A lot of things,” he rejoined before she could finish her thought, “And not just limited to us.”

              “You can say that again.”

              Once, Erebus would have disagreed. When he was Aiden, he believed the Jedi could do no wrong - he had to believe that. Otherwise, everything he knew to be true about the universe was incorrect. He imagined Atris was still living by that ideology, making excuses in order to keep herself sane every step of the way, and losing a piece of herself every time she stubbornly forced the pieces to fit.

              “You can say that again, too,” Eden said, sensing his thoughts, sensing Atris on the tip of his proverbial tongue, “Not sure if you knew, but I caught up with our old teacher not too long ago.”

              “Oh?” Erebus asked, though in reality he didn’t want to hear the details, at least not yet. There was so much he still wanted to know about Eden – not just about what had happened, but how she was doing, he it felt to be void of the Force, exempt from its pervasive nature, and how she managed to keep it all together despite everything that happened to her years ago, in the years since then, and even in the days and weeks prior to the here and now. But he also wanted none of those things… he just wanted to be with her, like they used to be when they were kids, exploring the universe and experiencing everything together, their thoughts and feelings an ever-growing mesh threading itself together stitch by stitch with every shared experience.

              “A story for another day,” she said, and at that Erebus smiled. Another day. She wanted to do this again. She still wasn’t sure if she should trust him, he could feel it, though to be fair Erebus wasn’t sure if she should trust him either. But she could also tell it was a sore subject, and would not press the matter. Oh, how far we’ve come, sister.

              Oh how far, indeed, Eden replied with a smile, a genuine one, allowing herself to feel the expression in full, despite how used to she was to dispelling it, willing away her happiness in lieu of fear and uncertainty. Not to say that there was nothing unsure about Erebus, though there was something familiar about their talking, something safe. In the way that it feels to be with family, true family. Where that feeling of unspoken togetherness, cohabitation without need for speaking was similar and safe and sound and felt the same, always the same.

              Eden nodded, as if sensing his thoughts, and said, “It’s nice to see you again, Aiden.”

              And with that, Erebus faded away, though not completely, melding into Aiden and folding in on himself again, feeling both his old and new self into one, as if being reborn but not quite. More like… feeling awake for the first time. Truly alive. Aware and awake and wide-eyed and ready to soak the world in.

              “You too, Ede.”

#my writing #the jedi exile #my ocs #star wars #kotor 2 #fan fiction #idk what this is and I don't know what to do with it either...

[lady--revan]

What happened to Revan and Exile frendship after Exile found her on unknown regions? Did they reunite quickly or did the went by an huge argument and never repaired their relationship? (sorry for my bad english ;^;)

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA

So to understand what their relationship is like, you have to know their past. Revan is a few years older than Liana and got pretty popular with the other kids in the enclave. They all admired her but Liana was the first Revan Stan™. She wanted to be just like her and use the same lightsaber and everything. Revan wasn’t annoyed at the attention (Alek was) and actually enjoyed talking to little Liana. She was pretty young at the time and of course got more mature as time passed, but her admiration for Revan stayed.

Which is why she followed her to war. Liana was only 18 at the time. This was when she and Revan got really close- they became like sisters. Atris had given Liana a hard time when she chose to leave and Revan helped to fill that “big sister void” in her life. (I have a headcanon that she knew Rev so well she was able to pick up on her feelings for Alek and played matchmaker) Their bond was so strong and pure and wholesome and healthy… until it wasn’t.

They had a falling out during the war when Revan turned to the dark side. Liana decided not to follow Revan any further, and didn’t see her again until after the events of KOTOR 2. By then, she had dealt with her past. She didn’t want to look for her at first, but she knew that the Republic (and the poor Admiral Onasi) needed her. It was time for the prodigal knight to come home.

It took quite a bit of searching in the unknown reigons, but Liana finally found her.

Revan was totally happy to see her friend/little sister again. Liana… not so much. She was pretty closed off and gave her the cold shoulder.

Revan knew she deserved that treatment but still cared for the Exile. It took a little while, but Liana sensed her genuine concern and answered some of her questions.

Eventually they told each other stories of their adventures, just to pass the time. This is a conversation that I want to make a comic of one day: (Bold for Liana)

“So then, Carth told me he loved me right before we headed to the Star Forge. It was a grand, sweeping, romantic gesture.”

“I didn’t really get any romantic action on my adventures.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“…”

“…There was this pilot…”

“And…?”

“He and I… um…”

“Oh I see. Complicated?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s his name?”

“Atton. Atton Rand.”

“Rand? Did he serve in the Mandalorian Wars?”

“Yeah… how did you know?”

“Rand served under my command. From what I remember, you actually knew him, but you were too shy to talk to him. You thought he was cute.”

“I… that was ATTON? Are you sure!?”

“I don’t know any other Rands, and the description makes sense.”

I haven’t really thought about the threat they faced in the Unknown Regions, but I do know that they grew to trust each other again. When they returned, they were cracking jokes/high-fiving/bantering like nothing had ever happened. They had a beautiful friendship and became very wise Jedi Masters.

Liana’s daughter actually calls Kestrel “Auntie Revan” because of how close the two are.

TL;DR: They went through a lot but in the end they became Best Friend Goals™ 😔✊

#HOLY FRICK #this is a lot to unpack #i love them very much... #kestrel and liana best friends forever #kestrel varik #liana celine #kestrel and liana #they've been thru a lot #headcanons