#also my mom makes me feel so bad about it
Text
Pick Me Up?
Charles Leclerc imagine
summary : the four times Charles picks you up and the one time you pick him up.
pairing : Charles leclerc x fem!reader
I believe there is no mention of YN, but I'm not 100% sure.
word count : 3.5 k
warnings : none that I can think of
note : I only read over this once so if there's spelling errors or other mistakes that's what happened. Next up should either be Logan Sargeant my ex is a footballer or the social media accompanying fic. Anyways, enjoy and me if you like it!!
1. Charles picks you up from a bad date
The date had started fine.
Actually more than fine. He showed up on time, was pleasant to the waitress, and had good manners. Really, he would have even gotten a second date, if he hadn’t brought up Formula 1.
It’s a topic you tend to avoid when meeting new people, as they either tend to know a lot already and want to use you to get to Charles or they don’t know anything and assume that you are using Charles, when they know nothing about your relationship. It was a hassle you learned to shut down before it even began.
But back at the date with Vince, he had brought it up and that’s when things started to go down hill.
Despite your best efforts, when people brought up Formula 1, you grew taller and more focused on the conversation, it’s like a switch flipped. While Charles driving for the best known team certainly helped your interest, everything about the sport was fascinating for you and you couldn’t help but geek out when the topic came up.
Vince noticed your reaction and his casual demeanor turned critical. “You only know about it because you think the drivers are hot.” That had made your smile drop instantly, brows furrowing as you tried to respond. “Probably can’t even name all the teams.” He thinks that stumps you, but you’ve dealt with enough shitty men in this sport, you’re not taking anything more from this wanna-be investor.
“I don’t have to prove my knowledge of F1 to you,” you state, deciding that this dinner is now over.
“Oh, now I know you can’t even name five drivers.” Your frown deepens, picking up your napkin and placing it on the table next to your plate. It had gone down hill so fast, how disappointing.
“Your attempt at insulting me into submission is falling flat.” His eyes are wide at your comment, and he must not have expected you realize his move. You flag the waitress over and she walks quickly back to your table, noticing how you’re not smiling anymore. Seems like this date is a bust, so another twenty note must be added to the jar of bets amongst the staff of this restaurant.
(You and Charles visit the place often as it was the sight of your first job, but also the food and people were lovely, and bringing a first date here was the safest option.)
(So they all knew you and were betting on when the dam breaks and you two admit your feelings for each other.)
You hand Lucille enough money to cover both yours and Vince’s meals, not bothering with the change. Your goal now is to get as far away from Vince as soon as possible. He opens his mouth to say something again, but you are already out of your seat and walking towards the front door, phone calling Charles to pick you up.
He answers on the first ring, always on alert when you go on dates.
(Not because he’s jealous or anything, but because he’s worried about you and needs to make sure that you stay safe. He’s been tempted to bribe the staff of your little restaurant for information during dates after a particularly bad one, but his mom talked him out of it.)
“Ma cherie, is everything alright?” You roll your eyes at his question, just knowing that there’s a smirk on his face right now. He didn’t have a great feeling about Vince, but he wouldn’t say I told you so.
“Can you pick me up please?” You barely need to finish your question before he answers with an ‘of course, I’m already on my way.’
“Need me to stay on the phone?” You glance back at the restaurant, looking in the window to find Vince scrolling away on his phone, oblivious to the movement around him.
“No, focus on the streets. I’ll be fine.” Charles hums his answer and hangs up, leaving you to look busy on the streets of Monte Carlo.
He pulls up not even two minutes later, stopping the car haphazardly in a tow-away zone. You rush to the side, opening the door and shimmying in as fast as you can because even though this is Charles Leclerc’s very recognizable Pista, you don’t want to risk any tickets. While he pulls away you realize how fast he showed up and a question forms on your lips, but he speaks before you have the chance to ask.
“I was only down the road at the marina.” He seems sheepish, like the answer is rehearsed, but you don’t push it because you’re still grateful that he showed up. What would you do without him to pick up after a bad date?
2. Charles picks you cause your car breaks down
This time when you call him should feel less embarrassing than other times, but really it only feels worse. How are you going to admit to him that the car you’ve been saving up for and desperately wanting since you were 7 just crapped out on you before you could even get out of the parking garage? Especially when he advised you against such car. It would be humiliating.
Alas, you made the call, practicing in your mind what you would say to him.
Again, he picks up on the first ring, though this time you’re not sure as to why he answered so fast.
“Is everything alright, ma cherie?” You blush, grateful he can’t see your face.
“I’m stuck,” you exhale, ready to face what ever he has in store for you.
“Stuck?”
“My car won’t start and I’m still at work, everyone else has left and I’m in need of a ride.”
“Okay,” he answers, relief filling you. “I’m leaving the gym with Andrea, I should be there in 15 minutes. Don’t talk to any strangers.”
“Love you too, Charles.” You roll your eyes, hanging up on him and sitting in the drivers seat of your beloved, but broken, car. That’s some good money about to go down the drain for the tow and mechanic fees. As you debate calling your dad to help you out with diagnosing what’s wrong with the car, a familiar rumble enters the garage, and you see the ever famous Pista pulling up next to you, a smirking Charles in the driver’s seat.
“Someone call for a pick up?” You want to roll your eyes at him, but the smile on his face makes the irritation melt away. After a long day at work, made even longer because your stupid car that you really wanted wouldn’t start, all you feel is relief and affection for the man in front of you, and it’s a little too overwhelming.
Tears pool in your eyes and Charles frowns, cutting the engine and climbing out so he can hug you. He only admits it to his mother, but holding you is just as good a driving when he’s driving on the track with a car that responds to his every command.
(And what he won’t admit to anyone is that if holding you feels like that, then kissing you must feel like he’s just won a world championship.)
“Ma cherie,” he whispers, pulling your body into his own and stroking your hair to soothe you. He doesn’t ask any questions, which you’re grateful for, you don’t actually know what’s wrong other than everything is just too much and him showing up makes you feel safe enough to let it all out.
When you’ve finally slowed your breathing and made yourself relax he pulls away, looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you’re not sure if you’re dreaming. “Now you know what it felt like to drive under Binnotto.”
The comment is a shock and it makes you snort, which is what Charles was going for. Your laugh that he thinks could make him smile even in the darkest moods. “You can’t say that Mr. Ferrari.” You smack his chest while shaking your head, but the rueful smile on your face tells him that you still haven’t gotten over the team principle screwing him over.
Then the smile eases into something much more natural, and he knows the tense moment has passed. “Takeout?” he suggests, ushering you to the passenger side of his car. You nod at him and he’s pretty sure that he would do anything to make you smile.
3. Charles picks you up for a spontaneous lunch date
The next day it’s he who calls you, but you still an answer on the first ring.
(You’ve dedicated a Måneskin song as his ringtone so you always know when he’s calling)
(He made your ringtone a Mika song after you dragged him to a concert)
“Charles,” you answer, confusion in your tone.
“Ma cherie!” he sounds excited and you can’t help but want to follow him anywhere he goes when he sounds like that.
“Is everything alright?” You ask it this time, because shouldn’t he be packing for a race now?
“I’m outside, we’re going to spend the day on the water.” After leaving your home last night, Charles decided that you needed a pick me up, and what better way but to spend a few hours lounging around on his yacht, soaking up the sun and enjoying each other’s company.
(No one else would be there, but this wasn’t a date.)
(Seriously Arthur, it wasn’t a date.)
You spare a glance around your room, laundry begging to be done and dishes waiting to be washed. Yeah, you could use a day away from chores.
“Let me grab a bag,” you tell him, already throwing more clothes around the room in search of your favorite bathing suit. He hums through the speaker and you put your phone down to keep searching for the bathing suit. It was your favorite red crossover one piece and you be damned if you didn’t wear it today, anything to manifest a Ferrari win.
When you finally manage to find it, in the pile of clean but not put away laundry, you pick your phone back up and tell Charles you’ll be right down.
In two minutes you’re out the door of apartment, eyes landing on Charles leaning against his car. He looks so handsome with the windswept hair and Ray-bans on, you really have to wonder why he’s spending the afternoon with you and not some model he met in a garage.
(He’d say it’s because it’s the weekend before a race and this is a tradition, spending the afternoon with you before he leaves is the only way to ward off bad luck.)
(Seriously, before the Netherlands race last year you'd been unable to make it because of a bad cold and he had to retire the car that race, so safe to say you were forced to the boat, or his apartment, or he came over before the plane every time after that.)
Maybe the question is what would he do without you?
4. Charles picks you up from a girl’s night
This time Charles doesn’t pick up on the first ring, in fact, he barely makes it to the phone in time to answer. That’s because it’s not you who is calling, but rather a friend.
You and few girl friends had decided on a girls night out for one of them going through a bad break up, but after a few pregame shots and then drinks at this club, you were pretty intoxicated.
Looking for your group after coming back from the bathroom and the bar, you had spotted Lando and Max across the room, which made you think about Charles.
(Not that he ever really left your mind.)
And when you think about Charles, you wonder where he is, so you went to your friends. Both their faces lit up when they saw you, indicating that they were also not sober. After a quick hug for both of them you turn to survey the rest of the bar, looking for your Monagasque.
“He’s not here!” shouts Max, trying to be heard over the noise. Your shoulders drop, turning back to the two racers with a pout on your lips.
“Where is he?” you ask, trying to seem nonchalant, but drunk you can’t hide her feelings as easily as sober you.
(Many would argue that sober you can’t hide her feelings easily either, but all that matters is that Charles doesn’t find out. And since he’s too occupied in hiding his also obvious feelings, you’re both oblivious to the other’s pining.)
Lando says that Charles stayed at home, something about playing the piano and having an early night was more tempting than drinks. The real reason being that if Charles went out he would not have been able to stop thinking about you and your potential suitors, which would lead to him drinking to forget. He was not up for another heartbreak hangover.
Your eyes light up at the mention of Charles playing the piano, sitting down in the booth with them. “Oh! I bet it’s going to sound wonderful!” Both drivers roll their eyes, and to their disappointment, you’re not drunk enough to miss it. “You don’t like his music?” The accusation in your tone makes them readjust their face. It’s not that they don’t like his compositions, it’s just that when Charles explains them, it’s almost always about how you looked on a certain day and he just was so inspired he had to put something down. They’re really tired of the back and forth between you too.
You begin your speech on how talented Charles is at the piano, which then morphs into how talented he is as a driver, and then as a person. It all turns into a ramble about how proud you are of him, something they’ve all heard before.
When you’ve somehow made it to Leo and how Charles chose the perfect puppy, the man himself shows up.
“Ma cherie,” he interjects, placing a hand on your shoulder to get your attention. You turn towards him, and Max swears that there should be cartoon hearts in your eyes.
“Charles!” you yell, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. “What are you doing here?” You’re slightly too loud for being in his arms, but he doesn’t care if you yell his ear off, it’s still you.
“Max said you were ready to come home.” Your brows furrow at that, because you don’t remember ever saying that, or even Max disappearing to call Charles, but you can’t be mad at him showing up.
“One more drink?” you ask, eyes pleading with him. Charles shakes his head, he can feel how much he’s supporting your weight even while sitting and knows that any more alcohol will likely end with you tripping over yourself.
“Water,” he answers and you’ve agreed to the words coming out of his mouth because it’s Charles, and he’ll never steer you wrong.
Charles heads to the bar to grab a water, running into your group of friends there. He tells them your status and that’ll he’ll be taking you home after this drink. They all nod along, most of them predicting that the night would end like this: Charles showing up and driving you home.
When it’s finally time to leave and Charles has ushered you out of the packed club into his Pista, you remember that you came here with a completely different group. “The girls!”
“Don’t worry, ma cherie, I saw them before we left and told them I’d take you home.” The gentle smile on his face is enough to put one on yours. Where would you be without him, indeed.
+ 1. You pick Charles up from the airport
You’ve got a new car now, thanks to Charles, and since he needs to be picked up from the airport, you’ve decided to take it for a nice spin. The roads are relatively clear for the drive, and you’re there in the usual 30 minutes. That makes you early for Charles, but you take the time to work out what you’re going to say to him.
Before you get out of the car you text him your location, so that he can head right out and find you, rather than you going into the terminal to look for him. He always was better at finding you.
The last night out had not only ended with Charles taking you home, but with a revelation. You couldn’t keep living like this. Loving him so much and not telling him was suffocating. It made you feel like you were on the edge of a cliff with nothing to keep you safe, and you were tired of it. So the question was, how did you tell him.
“Charles, I’ve been in love with you for ages,” you said, but shook your head. That didn’t sound right.
“Charles, I have to tell you something really important. I think I’m in love with you.” No, you shook your head again and groaned. “I don’t think I’m in love with him, I know I am.”
“Charles, you’re the most important person in my life, I don’t know what I’d do with out you.” Okay, solid start, you might have something with that.
“Charles light of my life.” No. “That’s too cheesy.”
“God, I wish I could put into words how much you mean to me. I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself most of the time. It’s like I need to feel you to be able to breathe properly. All I really ever need is for you to look and smile at me and I’ll know that everything will be alright. I can get through anything with you there. If you love someone else it would break my heart, but knowing that you’re happy is all I need to be okay. I’d live with the thought of you loving someone else, because if they made you as happy and good as I feel, then there’s nothing more I could ask for.” Yeah, that sounded-
“Well it’s a good thing I love you too.”
You screamed, turning around to see Charles behind you in all his glory. Black sweatshirt and baggy jeans, hair messy like he ran his hand through it multiple times.
“How long have you been there?” you asked, face turning red enough to rival Ferrari.
“At Charles, light of my life.” He shrugged, like you hadn’t just bared your soul out to him. “Though, I disagree, it’s not too cheesy.” Could you get any redder? Feels like this is as red as a human being could get before self-combusting.
He’s just standing there, with a dopey smile on his face that you want to kiss, but you can’t. Something is holding you to the spot. You force yourself to say something. “Can you say something else?”
“Like what?”
“Anything else, I feel like I’m going to explode if you don’t say something.”
“Thanks for coming to pick me up.” He adds a shrug to the end and you narrow your eyes.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Oh, you want me to say that I love you too.”
“I don’t want you to say it if you don’t mean it.” If you were a kid you’d add a stomp to the end, as if you were throwing a temper tantrum. He furrows his brow like he’s confused and still you want to kiss him senseless.
“Well, I mean it.”
Now you’re the one confused. “What?”
“I love you too, and I don’t think I’d be okay if you loved someone else as much as I love you. Because I’m selfish and a terrible man and I want you all to myself.” He shakes his head. “I need you all to myself,” he corrects. “You’re the love of my life and if I wasn’t yours then I don’t think I could go on. But you said you do love me, so everything is so much easier now.” Each sentence is punctuated with a step closer, until he’s just a few inches from you, like he needs you to take the last step. You do, without hesitation, because you really would do anything for him.
Eyes glancing at his lips and back, you catch him doing the same thing. “I love you more than anything in this world. I’d give up racing if you asked, I do anything for you.”
Another glance at his lips. “I’d never ask that of you, Charles. But, I love you too, and I’d do anything for you.” His smile at those words would normally catch you off guard, like you’d stop breathing at it, but somehow it just makes everything easier right now. So you kiss him.
Leaning forward those last few inches to grab his shoulders and pull him down so you can kiss him with as much love as you can muster. If words can’t explain how much you love him then maybe kissing him will convey it. That you love him more than words, actions and thoughts can combine. You love him.
(And he loves you.)
#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#Charles leclerc x fem!reader#Charles leclerc smau#formula 1#formula 1 smau#formula 1 imagine#my stories#read#my writings
762 notes
·
View notes
Text
AITA for accidentally traumatising a 13 year old kid by pretending to be his dead mom?
So basically a couple of weeks back i (33F) was at work and I noticed this guy (30sM) staring at me. Now, this isn’t totally unheard of, I'm kind of used to it because I've done some acting in the past and sometimes people sort of stare while they try to figure out where they know me from. Usually I ignore it, but this guy was like crazy hot so I figured, fuck it, I’ll go talk to him, maybe make a sale out of it. We sort of talked a bit while I served him, and found out he’s a single dad. He had sort of sad vibes and I was kind of into it so when he asked me out I said sure, why not and we agreed to go for dinner.
So everything was going well for a while, we went on a few dates but mostly we facetimed bc he works 24 hour long shifts and scheduling dates around that and a kid is tough, which i totally understood and I was happy to be patient with him. I should also say we still haven’t kissed at this point, even when he took me out on a boat on a lake, which was probably in my top 5 dates of all time? Anyway, I got the vibe he was holding back a bit but I figured I could wait bc he seemed like he was working through some stuff and dating in LA is fucking hard.
What happened next was where the real shit started to hit the fan, though.
Basically, I decided to bring him some brownies at work, but I mistimed it and he’d already gone home so I gave them to his coworker who looked at me like I was a ghost or something. I should have recognised something was off then but I brush it off and the next day I get a call from the guy, and he asks me to come over to his place which hasn’t happened before. I figure this is a good sign, that maybe he’s ready to start moving things forward, but when I get to the house, there’s all these pictures on the coffee table and they all look EXACTLY like me. My first thought was: holy shit, this guy’s a stalker. Great. Then I looked closer, though, and the pictures weren’t even of me. Turns out, I look exactly like this guy’s dead wife???
Anyway, that was wild and obviously I left after hearing him out a little bc I just needed to wrap my head around it.
Now this next bit might be where i’m the AH, bc i haven’t had a chance to do any acting in a while and I genuinely felt bad for the guy, he just wanted a chance at closure with his wife and I couldn’t really fault him for that.
So long story short, I cut my bangs (they looked cute in the pictures of his wife so I figured they’d work on me) and I went to his house in character as his wife and encouraged him to say what he needed to say to her. Things got pretty heated and he shared some really intimate thoughts and feelings so I was getting into it, you know? We embraced and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I thought it really helped him until the door opened and in walks his kid with a woman who is apparently his girlfriend? So i guess the single part of “single dad” wasn’t totally accurate either.
Also, the kid called me mom, which kind of broke my heart, and I feel like maybe I might have fucked up somewhere here.
So reddit, I have to ask AITA for pretending to be a dead woman and accidentally being the other woman while simultaneously traumatising a thirteen year old kid?
389 notes
·
View notes
Text
when did you know you loved me? pt.3/4 ♡
deer!reader had never been more comfortable with anyone in her life. she enjoyed that she got to be herself around him — a little weird, sometimes quiet, simply enjoying eachothers company until she could think of something to say.
“it feels oddly good. like the contrast of the cold shells on my hot back? it’s therapeutic.” pope observes as you sit cross legged on the beach beside him, placing the collection of shells you’d gathered along his bare back, enjoying the peace it brought you.
“okay new business venture, i offer my services of shell-therapy where i place shells on peoples backs along the beach and they pay me lots of money.” you smile, watching your boyfriend shake his head from where his temple rests on his stacked hands.
“oh hell no, this is a special service for me only. far too intimate. also as much as i enjoy this, i wouldn’t pay for it. bad business move.” pope banters in response and you laugh openly. he always entertained your silliness, or your goofy ideas that logistically made his head hurt just a little. to this, you felt a wave of affection.
“i love you.” you grin, shaking your head. it’s the thousandth time you’ve said it, but the abruptness of it compared to the conversation makes pope lift his head, craning it around to look at you with a confused yet adoring smile.
“oh— well, i love you. a lot.” he reciprocates and you lean forward, kissing his sweaty temple.
“can i ask you something a little weird? there’s a segment missing in my ‘us’ section of my journal and i wanna fill it out.”
“ask away.” he croons as he settles back down in the position he lay in before.
“when did you know you loved me? was there a moment? or was it a slow gradual thing that just crept up on you?”
there’s a silence for a moment as pope considers, before he slowly rolls over — tipping all the shells off his back back onto the sand and laying on his back once more, breathing out a slow breath of consideration. the sad “hey” that you were about to mewl at him destroying your artwork on his back died on your tongue, more interested in what he had to say.
“you know… there’s part of me that wants to say the first moment i saw you i was in love with you. i mean, shit — it absolutely felt that way.” he splutters with a quiet laugh.
“really?” you return his tone, chuckling as you gather your shells once more, not wishing to lose them.
“i mean yeah. when i saw you struggling to walk all those dogs along the beach after the storm i remember thinking ‘okay, that is definitely the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen’” he relays, soft smile remaining as he closes his eyes once more, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face.
“aw…” you hum, pulling your knees to your chest and continuing to listen.
“and then of course i saw you again working at the library, and i knew i definitely had to have you, even though i kinda felt like a creep thinking that… because you barely knew me.” he cringes and you giggle, starting to place shells on his toned stomach instead.
“but i dunno… i think… i think i knew for sure that i loved you, like hard core— capital L loved you… was the first time you came to meet my folks. you came to dinner and you wore that pretty dress with the flowers on it? the one i love? and i could see the way my pops just thought you were everything, and my mom clearly adored you… and i realised i didn’t just love you… i wanted a life with you. like, the whole shebang… marriage, babies one day… all of it. you’re like… my forever. ugh, that was total cringe. but it’s true.”
he peeks an eye open, to see if you’d totally caught the ick for his sappy story, but was happy to see you grinning ear to ear. you launch forward, pressing a kiss to his mouth. it’s a little sandy and salty, but it’s pope — so you don’t care.
“i want you forever and ever.”
“yeah? good. i want that too.”
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
FEM!READER WITH AN ABUSIVE/TOXIC EX (ft. aaron taylor johnson characters)
warnings: mentions of being in a toxic/emotionally and physically abusive relationship with someone, mentions of violence, sexual themes
includes - in said order
~ James Potter - harry potter marauder's era (yes ik it's technically a fancast but 🥺 he's my baby)
~ Tangerine - bullet train
~ Dave Lizewski - kick-ass
~ Count Alexei Vronksy - anna karenina 2012
~ Tom Ryder - the fall guy
~ @trollsareadorable hope you like this lovie! 🫶 ~
• James is very intuitive. It doesn't seem like he is, but he is. He's just a really caring person so he notices things that others don't.
• If you were friends first, he would have definitely already known that your ex was toxic/abusive and would have hated his guts. "You deserve better than him," or "he doesn't treat you like a gentleman should," type of conversations.
• If you weren't friends first and you were flirting after your break-up, he wouldn't initially think your shyness or your nerves were because anything bad had happened. Instead, he'd find it cute and would be super patient with you and be down to take things at your pace.
• James is a gentleman. His mom raised him right (Euphemia is a queen!) and so the idea of hurting a woman, especially one you're supposed to love, is unthinkable.
• So when you tell him about your ex, about his emotional/physical abuse, he'd be livid.
• James is extra careful with you after that, to the point where you have to tell him you're fine so he'll stop treating you like you're made of glass.
• When you run into your ex one night at a party, James notices you're acting strangely. "Love, are you alright? You look like you're gonna be sick," he'll say as he rubs small circles on your back.
• When you don't answer, he'll ask again. If you snap at him, he'll be hurt but he'll know something is wrong instantly.
• "You can tell me, dove. What has happened?"
• At the first sight of your tears, James's heart breaks and he ends up ushering you into a bathroom and soothingly caresses your cheeks with his thumb. When you tell him you saw your ex, it takes everything in him not to leave you and beat his sorry ass. He could—he has the build for it (okay Quidditch Captain 😵💫)
• Instead, he stays by your side and hugs you as you cry into his shirt.
• You're embarrassed for making a mess and crying like a baby but James isn't having it. "Don't be sorry, lovely. It's okay to have feelings and to show them," he'll reassure you. Maybe your ex didn't like when you cried so you tried to hide it from him but James knows you better.
• "C'mon, let's continue having some fun so you can forget about that bloody wanker," he'd kiss your forehead and take your hand, making sure you're next to him all evening. You've never felt happier and safer and your ex is completely forgotten.
• Tangerine has a temper. We all know this—and we all know he also has a potty mouth.
• Maybe you were coworkers first and he noticed how sensitive you were when he would raise his voice, or use some curse-words, but he starts to notice something is really wrong when you're visibly afraid to talk to guys at bars, even if it's just for fun.
• So, he would talk to you about it in private when he has the chance. "Hey, darlin', are ya okay? 'Cause you don't seem okay, y'know that guy at the bar wasn't tryin' to hurt ya, he just wanted to flirt. Did he make ya uncofmrotable," Tangerine's voice would be softer than usual.
• You open up to him, touched he cared enough to ask, and the moment he hears about your ex, he sees red. Tangerine is many things but he would never emotionally hurt or lay a hand on someone he loved ever.
• He looks at you with wide eyes, imagining your fearful expression at the hands of your ex, and his blood boils even more.
• He makes it his mission to help you feel safer around men—around him—and eventually, he falls in love with you and you fall in love with him. It takes you some time to fully trust him, but Tangerine eventually earns your trust because he shows you genuine love.
• He refrains from yelling around you and he doesn't use curse words that would remind you of the disgusting things your ex would call you. He adjusts.
• He's adaptable 😏🍊
• If you see your ex at the bar while you're refilling your drink one evening, you come back to Tangerine and you're friends and you're really quiet. More quiet than usual.
• In the beginning Tangerine is oblivious because he's joking with his friends. However, when you grasp his arm, watching your ex move across the room, he knows something is wrong. He sees where you're looking and turns you towards him gentle, one hand cupped under your chin.
• "Where'ya lookin', luv?" he'd ask and frown when he sees your glossy eyes.
• Tangerine hates when you cry—not because he's mad at you but instead because he hates knowing you're sad enough to cry. It makes him feel helpless, like he'd failed you.
• When you lean into him for comfort and tell him you saw your ex, he frowns and his eyes snap up to find your ex in the crowd. You tell him you're okay and you just want to go home, but Tangerine isn't having it.
• "That bastard hurt you. He doesn't get to get away with it," Tangerine hisses and kisses your forehead, "I'm just gonna go have a little chat with him."
• By little chat he means punching your ex so hard he breaks his nose—which leads to you, Tangerine, and your friends being kicked out of the bar.
• You're secretly very pleased to see your ex in pain and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing Tangerine is willing to protect you like that. You aren't mad at him, especially when he cuddles you back at your shared apartment.
• Dave is shy just like you, so in the beginning of your relationship he doesn't take your shyness as something bad. He likes that you're nervous, because he's also nervous.
• However, he also picks up on cues that something is really wrong—like when you over apologize, or do anything in your power to please him when he's being snappy/in a bad mood.
• Alarm bells ring in Dave's head and he asks you why you feel the need to constantly apologize or make yourself small when you think he wants it.
• Because he could never want that.
• When you tell him, he doesn't know how to react. His blue eyes go wide and his mouth opens. He feels angry and sad and confused all in one overwhelming ball of emotion.
• Who would dare hurt someone as kind and lovely as you? Dave simply doesn't understand.
• "Baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you," he whispers and holds your hand, squeezing, "I promise you I will never ever do anything like that to you. Ever, you hear me? You don't have to walk on eggshells around me."
• If you saw your ex at a party?! Dave would know immediately because you would find him and tell him. You trust him more than anyone and would need him comfort instantly.
• "Shh, you're okay, baby. We can leave if you want, yeah?" he'd say and kiss your cheek, holding your closer to him and ignoring his friends wanting him to stay.
• You see, Dave doesn't confront your ex. Dave isn't a confrontational person. Plus, he'd much rather make sure you're okay than go fight someone. He doesn't want you to see him be violent because it's such a contrast to his usual sweet self.
• But Kick-Ass? Kick-Ass can teach your ex a lesson without any questions or hesitation (he'll def ask Mindy for help bc she'd also be livid that someone hurt you).
• So that's what happens.
• Alexei is a very composed person. He's doesn't often show his anger and he never screams at you. Perhaps you were friend's first and then eventually he asked you to marry him—and that's when he began to see the signs that someone had been very ungentlemanly with you.
• You flinch when you accidentally break his crockery and it makes your cry—apologizing more than necessary which to Alexei isn't normal.
• He's wealthy after all! He can easily afford a new set and something like this shouldn't cause you any distress.
• Then, he sees how you cling to him during social events and always reassures him that when you speak to other men, you have no intention of being unfaithful and they're just friends. You would sound desperate, your eyes pleading with him to understand.
• Alexei never imagined you would and he frowns. "Whatever makes you think I'd assume you would play with another man? I trust you, sweetheart," he would whisper in your ear that evening, kissing your cheek.
• When you finally tell him the cause of your distress—an ex-husband (maybe he died)—and you tell him how he'd treat you extremely poorly and was extremely jealous and possessive.
• Alexei is shocked and disgusted but he is also offended that you would think so low of him and think he'd treat you the same way.
• However, he doesn't become angry and instead sees you need comfort and he whispers soothing words into your ear. "My darling dove, I would never lay a hand on you or make you feel dirty and less than me because you have friends. I am secure in this marriage. I know you only have eyes for me—as I only have eyes for you."
• Steamy, gentle, passionate sex to remind you that you deserve to be praised and worshiped and as your husband it's his duty to do just that. 😛
• Tom is an asshole. His ego is through the roof, he's immature, he mostly thinks of himself, he can be stupid, and he can be inconsiderate and crude. All these things are very very true.
• However, he also craves genuine intimacy and love. He's insecure like that (probably wasn't hugged enough as a child) so he's immediately drawn to your kindness.
• Say you're on the crew of his new movie (a camera girl? Makeup artist? Low ranking actress) and you're visibly nervous around him both because he's Tom Ryder and simply because of his reputation as a player.
• Players make you uncomfortable.
• He sees this and in the beginning, he likes teasing you. He thinks it's funny seeing you become flustered and hide from him.
• He thinks it's funny until one of his jokes goes too far and he makes you cry. Now, it's anything but funny and he feels like an asshole. He's not used to feeling like he's an asshole (he usually thinks too highly of himself).
• So, reluctantly he decides to apologize to you.
• He finds you outside the bathrooms, eyes teary and puffy. "Listen, babe, I didn't mean to make you cry so hard, kay? You look much prettier without all that snot on your face so gimme a smile, huh?" he say, still sounding like a bit of a jerk—he can't help himself—but he's trying.
• You're vulnerable so you end up spilling with a shaky voice that his joke reminded you of something your ex would say and you ramble on and on, unable to calm your mind.
• Tom's speechless (for once) as he listens.
• He may be an asshole, but he isn't abusive towards anyone he truly cares for so he doesn't understand your ex. He's now mad at himself and he's also secretly honored you opened up to him.
• He isn't use to sincerity or someone truly revealing themselves to him. He likes the feeling.
• Over the next weeks, he's kinder to you and he writes you little sticky notes and leaves them in your trailer/locker/wherever your stuff is with weirdly endearing messages.
• It's kinda sweet and eventually you crack.
• Tom Ryder is a surprisingly decent boyfriend. Sure, he still has an ego and he's still sometimes a jerk—but it's obvious he genuinely cares for you.
• He's by your side whenever you can be, reassures you when you're insecure and nervous around him and he's gentle with you.
• He knows you need that.
• "My sweet girl," he whispers in your ear between takes, making you feel like the only girl in the world, "So good for me, aren't you? I love you so much."
• And if he ever sees your ex and you end up crying or upset because of the jack-ass, he'll get his security team to hurt him. Badly.
• And then he'll buy you whatever you want to make you feel better! He likes spoiling you and he obviously has the money to do so.
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james 💋#tangerine bullet train#tangerine x reader#tangerine x fem!reader#tangerine 🍊#dave lizewski#dave lizewski x reader#dave lizewski x fem!reader#dave 💚#count alexei vronsky#alexei vronsky#count alexei vronsky x reader#alexei vronsky x fem!reader#alexei vronsky x reader#vronsky 🩵#count alexei vronsky x fem!reader#count vronsky x reader#count vronsky x fem!reader#tom ryder#tom ryder x reader#tom ryder x fem!reader#tom ryder 🎬#aaron taylor johnson#aaron taylor johnson fic#aaron taylor johnson fanfiction
123 notes
·
View notes
Text
in the heights | natalie scatorccio x reader
hey! I'm back!
I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, really. but I'm happy with the engagement and the new followers here on the blog, welcome everyone and I hope you like my stories below.
I haven't made the masterlist yet, but as soon as I do, I'll pin it to organize it better.
this first oneshot is super cute, I hope you like it. I'm also not going to open requests for now, but I'll leave my ask open in case you want to send me messages and interact through it too!
thanks for following along!
enjoy!
sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!
------------------------------------------
in the heights | natalie scatorccio x reader
-> prompt: you and natalie at a ferris wheel. but it gets stuck. <-
warnings: non cannon, no crash, most fem!reader but it works for gender neutral readers too, natalie having a soft side, a lot of swear words, very cliché and gay.
***
"I already told you I don't want to go. That's for children."
You laugh, watching Natalie blow out the last of her cigarette and use her worn-out sneakers to crush it on the floor. The two of you are leaning against a street light, but you're more focused on the popcorn that's almost gone and the noise of the kids screaming behind you, enjoying the huge roller coaster, or the carousel, or yelling for their mom to buy more tokens to hit the clown's mouth and win a damn stuffed bear.
It's your last year before heading off to college, but you're not old enough to enjoy the rare amusement park event when the mayor is in a good mood, which is why you make a point of not only inviting Natalie, but the rest of the girls on the team.
The difference is that you're not as close to them as you are to the platinum blonde who's snorting as she's being bumped into by a four-foot-tall boy who's running after another boy whose height you haven't yet identified.
"Oh, please, it's just going to be a single ride. I really want to see the city from up there", you insist, using your best whining voice, to try to convince Natalie to join you on the ferris wheel. She rolls her eyes as you shove another handful of popcorn into your mouth. "Then we can go on the ghost train, since you want to be that frightened."
"You know I hate the ferris wheel, (Y\N), no way."
Natalie was always closed off about her feelings and desires - and unless it had to do with addictions, cigarettes and drugs, you'd never guess any of the things she was passionate about. Of course, you knew about her problems with her father, her terrible relationship with her mother and how much she wanted to buy a trailer in the park closest to her school so she wouldn't have to live with this nightmare again, but otherwise, none of Natalie's fears were obvious to you.
So it was fun to hear her complain, in her usual grumpy mood, about how she hated rides on the ferris wheel.
“It’s not that bad,” you tried once more. "One ride, I promise. I'll give you one of my cigarettes later, don't worry."
Natalie huffed again, rolling her eyes at you, and put her lighter in the pocket of her old moss green jacket before walking over to you.
"Just a ride and then it's over. It's not a question."
You nodded, shrugging and swallowing hard, before starting to walk beside her. Oh, one more thing about Natalie that you knew since you met her: she hated holding hands.
***
"I swear I'm going to kill you. It seems like a good thing to push you from the highest point, don't you think?"
Natalie proposed, whispering through clenched teeth as the ferris wheel monitor buckled you up and closed the cabin. There was a noise in the background, coming from other laughing children and families in the cabins behind, so Natalie had to get a little closer to you to whisper in your direction.
"Ah, come on, it's going to be fun!", you murmured, in your usual joy, looking to the side and enjoying the view of the park before the ride started to rise. "But if you feel unwell, I can ask the monitor to stop first and come down."
"It is not necessary."
She murmured, taking a deep breath, and you felt like there was too much air gathering in Natalie's lungs. With your free arm, you passed it over the cabin, around the platinum blonde, in an attempt to comfort her. It didn't help, but you were sure you saw her lined eyes relax a little.
And then, the ride began. The families behind you screamed loudly when the cabins started to rise a little, and then they started laughing when theirs stopped in the air and slowly descended, giving a good view of the city from up there.
You looked away again at the huge windows and the landscape, even though you weren't so high up. It felt good to reassure Natalie at that moment, her fear feeling like it was going to leave her body and hover like a cloud of dust above your heads.
"Are you okay?"
"Absolutely."
You laughed, making a mental note and finding it amusing that Natalie always used colloquial language when she was scared. Suddenly, she looked down, and her clear eyes widened again.
"Holy shit! Why are there two guys down there? And why does it look like they're arguing? Oh, God, don't tell me we-"
You looked down, just to see where she was looking, and then, suddenly, the voices of the families became clearer, as if they purposefully escaped from the windows of the cabins straight into yours. "we're stuck!" "it looks like the toy broke!" "damn, bunch of irresponsible people!" "I want my fucking money back!" "get that fucking toy down soon, buddy!"
Gritting your teeth, you looked at Natalie, and you were sure that she had heard at least half of the whispers, or, well, at best - and probably the most terrible - she had enough intelligence to figure out what had just happened on her own. to happen.
"Fuck me," she muttered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Once, twice, three times. And then, you grabbed her with your free arm by the collar of her shirt, the back collar.
"Calm down, it's just a quick stop, it's supposed to give more excitement. Soon the ferris wheel comes back, just try to breathe", you whispered, and obviously it didn't help at all.
"I'm not five anymore, (Y\N). Don't act like you're my fucking parents."
"Hey, don't freak out, it won't help…", you clicked your tongue. "Well, how about if we just try to distract ourselves while the toy doesn't come back? Make small talk? There are some things going on that you haven't told me yet, right?"
You don't know how this caught Natalie's attention, but you saw that her face had returned to its usual paleness, and that she had raised an eyebrow in your direction.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why, the most obvious. You and Travis Martinez, what else?"
She rolled her eyes. "It's not what you think. He's just my friend. Just like you are too."
Ouch, that one hurt. It would have affected you more, of course, if you had even had feelings for Natalie, but obviously you had nothing more than a friendly affection for her, and in truth, her and Travis' sudden closeness wasn't bothering you in the slightest. in an unhealthy way…
Absolutely not. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.
"Just friends? Oh, sure, like, okay then…" You took another deep breath, and then blushed when you saw her raised eyebrow again. "It's just, like, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would hang out with our gang…"
"You mean he doesn't look like a rebellious kid?" Natalie scoffed, biting her lip and looking away from you. "Yeah, I mean, you'd be surprised by some things about him."
"And how come you know so much, huh?"
She pursed her lips. You had used an intonation that definitely wasn't as ironic as you thought it would be, and in fact, maybe that would have surprised Natalie. You were about to open your mouth to apologize, when she spoke first, her eyes fixed on you and that cheeky smile that only she knew how to give.
"Damn, I didn't know you were that possessive, (Y\N)…"
It was your turn to roll your eyes.
"And I'm not. I don't give a shit about your circle of friends, okay?"
"It's not what it looks like…"
"Okay, let's change the subject…", you pursed your lips too, looking away. "Did you buy the hair dye? Your roots are turning black again…"
She nodded, but that sleazy smile was still on her lips as she looked the other way. In fact, it only disappeared when she realized that you guys weren't coming back down, and that it would probably take hours to do so.
"This shit's never going down again, is it? What the fuck…"
You laughed, looking at her again and shaking your head. "You know, if you're so scared, you can hold my hand. I won't bite you unless you ask me to."
Natalie rolled her eyes again, looking at you with closed eyes. She hated vulnerability, especially when it was her own. Her hand slid across the space in the seat that separated the two of you in the cabin, and then, her fingers caught yours, lightly, as if they were magnets attracting each other.
"If you tell anyone tomorrow, I'll kill you," she whispered, her teeth clenched and her gaze still very serious. That made you laugh and eased the blush on your cheeks a little.
Suddenly, like an answer to her silent prayer, the cabin gave a sharp start and threatened to descend. This caused Natalie's already trembling and vulnerable body, barely secured in the seat belt, to fall until it reached your arms. You held her just in case, but she made sure to lean on your waist to straighten herself up again.
"Oh, God, I think I'm going to throw up," she murmured, returning to the fear inside her. You watched her and, in a rush, had an idea that might help. Well, it helped you with your now rare panic attacks before a decisive test in class.
Instinctively, you grabbed her cheek, pressing your faces together at a considerable distance. Her eyes were on you, but specifically at the level of your nose, and she seemed shocked by your unexpected attitude.
“What the fuck are you doing?”, she whispered, her lips barely moving.
"I'm trying to take your focus away. Pay attention to other things, don't fucking look down," you replied, your tone as neutral as possible, your eyes focused on her. But your closeness was incredibly suspicious and, even if you denied it, it took away some of the attention that should have been hers. Clearing your throat, you whispered again. "Do you feel better?"
Natalie didn't answered. She closed her clear eyes and took another deep breath, swallowing hard. And then, her pale, calloused hands touched your shoulder. At first, it seemed like an attempt to push you away, but then, suddenly, when she unexpectedly pressed your lips together, you understood everything.
Responding to the kiss as best you could, terrified that it would be clumsy, you let your mind wander to the darkest parts, and you also understood that you always wanted, deep down, for this moment to happen. And then, after minutes of the wind in your hair and your body getting hot with the blood bubbling almost to your head, Natalie finally did what she normally would do, using the grip on your shoulders to pull you away from her.
"Fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen," she whispered, trying to apologize. And suddenly, she fixed it. "I mean, maybe it was, but not like this. I guess I was just a little… too vulnerable, my bad."
You laughed, blushing once more before holding her hand again, this time placing your palm on hers.
"It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes. You look cute with that soft side," you whispered, nodding. "Well, not like that…"
"Don't be stupid, of course it's like that," she murmured, raising her eyebrow. "Okay, I'm not going to punch you in the face because you kissed me and because you have feelings for me."
"For the record, you were the one who kissed me."
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, fuck. Nobody cares."
Suddenly, the ferris wheel gave another start and, finally, with the screams of satisfaction from all the families who were still waiting up there, it started working normally again. Natalie sighed, still holding your hand in hers, and you smiled, relieved, looking away.
"Just promise me one thing, (Y\N)?"
"Anything, Nat."
"That you won't tell anyone that we kissed-"
"That you kissed me."
"Whatever! Don't tell anyone, do you hear me? Or I'll change my mind and punch you in the face, yes."
You laughed before pulling her closer with your free hand, by her chin, and kissing her once more. "Don't worry. It'll just be our little secret for now."
#lgbt#natalie scatorccio x reader#sophie thatcher x reader#yellowjackets#yellowjackets x reader#oneshot#i love soft nat#is it too cliche#my bad i just needed to write some of this
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just to be clear since I ranted a lot after last nights ep. I love Eddie I'll always love him he's one of my fav characters. But loving a character doesn't mean you have to excuse everything they do.
Kim showing up at the house dressed as Shannon was in large part on Kim. She didn't tell Eddie she was going to do that nor even ask to come over. I also get that in the state of mind Edde's been in lately and the fact that he wasn't expecting to see what was ostensibly Shannon on his doorstep he really didn't know what to do let alone kick her out or something.
Still Kim wouldn't have even known where Eddie lived had he not been cheating with her and not taken her to his house in the first place. I've seen a lot of people say Chris seeing Kim was all on Kim and it's not Eddie's fault but for me some of the blame does fall onto Eddie for the actions he took that led up to that.
I'm not saying that Eddie is a bad person or that I don't see he's in a bad place mentally. I just haven't liked some of the choices he's made this season. I also don't think Eddie ever intentionally wanted to hurt Chris. I know he'd never want to do that and it's going to hurt him greatly knowing he has.
Also I talked in my post about how I thought Buck should have been angry during the kitchen scene. This was just my first reaction after watching the ep. When I rewatched that scene I was glad Buck was as loving and gentle with Eddie as he was. It was clearly what Eddie needed in that moment because it was what motivated him to come clean to Kim about Shannon.
I guess I also get tired of the show never allowing the characters to deal with the consequences of their actions. We just saw this in 704 after Buck hurt Eddie (and I don't think he truly meant to) but I still think we needed to see them talk about what happened on the court. We've seen similar things like when Chim and Buck fought they never talked about it. Or when Buck cheated on Taylor, she just forgave him and stayed. I think sometimes it's harder to see the growth of a character if you don't get to see them dealing with their mistakes.
I'm also angry about this on Chris' behalf especially since we just saw Chris talking about his mom in 701. So part of me does want to see Buck getting angry at Eddie for the role he played in what happened. And for as much as the fandom talks about how Buck is like Chris' other dad it would make sense for Buck to be upset that his son was hurt.
At the end of the day though I love my Buddie family and I do want to see Buck being there for Eddie and Chris like I know he will be eventually after whatever craziness happens in the finale.
Also me talking about Eddie facing consequences for his part in this does not mean I was trying to insinuate that he's an unfit father or that Chris should be removed or anything like that. Like I said I don't think Eddie would ever want to do anything to intentionally hurt Chris. The best case scenario would actually be for Buck to come and stay with Eddie and Chris but given that Ryan said Eddie is going to be isolated I don't think we're going to see that. I'm not sure what's going to happen with Eddie's parent's coming to visit but Chris is way better off with Eddie than he'd ever be with his grandparents.
Anyway I just wanted to put this out there because I feel like my rant from last night came off the wrong way because I was venting about the ep. Even if I disagree with some of Eddie's choices I will still always defend Eddie and Buck and Buddie and I'm never closing on any of them.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sneak preview to Goddess of Loneliness
As promised here's a sneak preview of Goddess of Loneliness
I hope you like these sneak previews it'll be random and have a look of what's to come ^^ also it's all happy moments can't show you guys the angst yet ^^
Maya smiled as Vaughn grabbed her hand and lead her inside the building.
"You got me a private concert?"
Vaughn turned and smiled at his beautiful girlfriend.
"Of course I did Beautiful, you deserve good things and I'm lucky to be one of them,"
Maya blushed as Vaughn lead her into the concert hall were BTS and Taylor Swift awaited her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Maya smiled as she ran to Brandon King, her one and only friend.
"I'm so happy to see you Maya,"
"I am too,"
They pulled back and she looked down and saw a little girl clinging to Brans pants.
"Oh, who's this,"
"Oh, Maya meet your niece, Azaliya,"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You hurt our family Maya!" Mia shouted at her sister, Maya glared at her screw it she was done with Mia and her hypocritical ass.
"You're right Mia I hurt you and I fucked up but you? You hurt our family as well,"
"What-"
"You're fucking the guy who kidnapped our brother and was responsible for getting him in the hospital, you're fucking the guy who set the Heathens mansion on fire with the intent to kill our cousins, our brother, and your friends you're fucking the guy who wanted to kill our cousin who's your best friend because he was dating his little sister!"
Maya glared at Mia and than at her mother,
"If I'm an awful person for hidding something for so long-let's ignore the fact I was a fucking child! What does that make Mia mom what would you call you're precious daughter who despite knowing all the shit her fiancee has done still decided to get in bed with him and date him! And let's also not forget how when our brother dearest tried to get back at him your precious daughter decided to attack and make him feel bad about it,"
She glared at Mia.
"You say I ruined our family with my jealousy but what have you been doing to our brother Mia? Niko won't say anything because of Bran and I get it I do because I love Bran as well but unlike Niko I'll say the quiet part out loud I ruined you by being quiet but unlike I didn't have a choice unlike you Mia I was afraid to speak in fear of getting killed you on the other hand chose to sleep with Landon and hurt our brother you chose to be with Landon because you are a selfish person who would rather let everyone around her suffer!"
She glared at Mia and at her mother.
"It took me to long to realize this but deep down Mia you're no different than me, you claim to be no different from girls like me when in reality you are nothing but a liar, a fake; you always promise but fail to deliver because deep down you know Mia, you know you're just as fucked up as I am and if given the chance you'd stab your family in the back without hesitation...oh wait you already do that every night you sleep with the punk that almost killed our brother!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Welp here it is ^^ I hope you guys like these little moments we are two screenshots away from getting updates from the heart was build to break and born sinner as well as to kidnap a lotus flower ^^ remember keep streaming right place wrong person and send me those screenshots ^^
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Restoration (Chapter 11)
The time has come! This took me about five drafts for me to actually think it was decent so I hope you guys enjoy it! There’s just a whole lot of little scenes I liked to make. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, you’re going to hate me but it gets better! (Please don’t hate me I will not hesitate to cry TwT) Otherwise, enjoy!
Word Count: 12.7k
CW: Death, Vague mentions of suicide, severe trauma, vague gore warning, violence, I think that’s it!
11- Ryker
It was quiet without Angela and Lucky. Mostly because Dylan and Lucky are almost always the cause of all the loud noises, but sometimes Angela and Isabelle just liked to play around. Now, it was lonely. Of course Nathan always let Angela talk with us on his phone for hours since we can always see Lucky at school, but Angela was being picked up by Nathan for almost a full week. Nathan says she’s been doing fine. She plays some games with his mom and he likes playin hide and seek with her when she’s bored. As for Lucky, Nathan says he’s just been doing his own thing. What he usually does. He also says that he’s on the phone with Dylan all the time too. Not surprising.
No worries though. They’ll be back before Christmas. There was no way I was letting them miss it. Plus, the riots and stuff have been going down lately. They can finally come home, and I really, really missed them. No matter how many times I’ve had to clean up after them or they’ve given me half a heart attack every time they’re on the edge of somewhere high in the house. They were my siblings, I couldn’t just not care.
Jasmine helped me take down all of the elevators around the house. The only bad part about that is that we can’t exactly put them back once they’re off, so it’s going to be like this until I can find the time to put some in later. They’ve never had a problem being carried around everywhere anyways.
I sighed, laying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling. There wasn’t anything to do really. Dylan stayed in his room talking to Lucky while also playing whatever game he had, Jasmine was in the living room playing with Isabelle since no one else could at the moment. Usually Angela kept her busy.
“Ry!” I heard Jasmine’s voice yell through my door. I groaned. I didn’t feel like getting up. I just laid down not too long ago, can I not get a break?
“What!” I screamed back.
“Isabelle says she’s hungry!”
I placed a hand on my forehead, forcing my body under the covers. I was too tired to do anything, but I’m pretty sure we have some leftovers from last night she could eat. Jasmine and Dylan can make themselves something. I just wanted to get some sleep at this point.
“There’s leftovers in the fridge!”
I heard the fridge door open and close, then the microwave starting all the way from my room. I finally relaxed, the pillow cold under my head and my lights off with the blinds closed, blocking out any evening sun that threatened to creep inside my room. Perfect time to go to sleep. the best part about it was that I didn’t have school in the morning either. I was so physically and mentally exhausted I could just pass out. And I did.
——————
When I woke up, it was to the smell of burnt pancake batter, making me scrunch up my nose and hurry to the kitchen, where Jasmine was currently throwing out her entire plate of pancakes that were beyond burnt. I laughed, watching her hurry to turn off the stove that was surprisingly not on fire. Jasmine just glared at me, leaning agianst the counter in defeat. I walked up next to her, smirking the entire time, “You just lost to pancake batter.”
She playfully punched me in the shoulder, laughing along with me. I looked back at the box she had used, seeing that there was still enough for the four of us. I sighed, grabbing another bowl and placing the old one into the sink. Might as well make the rest if they really wanted pancakes.
“Why’d you try cooking? You hate being anywhere near a stove.” I asked, mixing together the powder with milk.
“You were asleep.” Her voice slightly a higher pitch. I looked back at her for a second, watching as she tapped her hand on the counter.
“What else?” I grabbed a new pan that didn’t have burnt remains of pancakes and turned on the stove. Dylan knew how to cook a little bit. Jasmine would have woken him up to help her. So why didn’t she?
“Nothing. Isabelle and I woke up about an hour ago and she just told me she was hungry.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders. I poured some of the newly made batter into a pan and let it sit there for a couple seconds. She wasn’t going to tell me. At least not anytime soon. Better to just accept her answers now before she gets mad.
I stayed silent until Dylan walked into the room, immediately sitting down on top of the counter and yawning. He scrunched up his nose, the faint smell of smoke in the air, “What did Jasmine burn this time?” He joked, earning a punch to the shoulder that actually looked like it hurt.
Everyone grabbed their plates, and we all watched a cartoon in the living room. It just felt quiet without Dylan and Lucky constantly messing around with each other or Isabelle and Angela playing with their stuffed animals. I knew we all missed them. Just two more days. Two more days and they’ll be back with us. Everything was going to go back to normal. I’d really have to thank Nathan and his mom for helping us out so much. I smiled at the thought.
———Nathan———
Despite there being two more people in the house, is was actually relatively quiet. Which was surprising given that Ryker’s house was usually filled with a huge commotion. Maybe it was because they were away from each other? I really did feel bad. I mean, they all seemed really close to one another. Plus after Ryker told me what happened to their parents… It must be hard. I couldn’t think about leaving my mom for any reason, so it must be so much worse when it’s your own siblings.
They were going back this Sunday. Things have gone down and it’s nearly Christmas so I didn’t want them to miss that. Lucky was taking a nap on the couch while Angela was busy with a coloring book my mom had bought her the other day. She was currently coloring a picture of a parrot, and for a four year old she was surprisingly good at coloring. My mom was cooking dinner. I offered to do it instead but she just argued that she hasn’t cooked for me in a while. I just left it at that.
So now I was laying down on the couch. School was out for winter break finally. Which meant only five more months until I would be left alone again. Just my mom and I. I didn’t plan on going to college, maybe just a part time job. After what happened so many years ago I’ve been afraid to live on my own. But let’s not think about that right now.
What I was worried about was what if Ryker didn’t like the present I would be giving him. The concert tickets of course. They didn’t really cost much. Like a seventy dollars for two tickets? Not bad. I had bought everyone else’s gifts except for Dylan’s. I knew he liked sports and all that, but I couldn’t get him something like that. I had zero idea and I really needed to ask Lucky what to get him, because I’m pretty sure Lucky had bought something for him before he came here. I’d just have to ask. Not now though.
I know Ryker loves reading, drawing, cooking. What else? Lucky mentioned something about sweets? Like cookies and all that? How would I even do that? I can’t just bake something fifty times my size. I had thought about buying something like a cake but how would I even get it to him? I mean… I could ask for help. Maybe from Jasmine? Nope. Get that thought out of my mind. She hates my guts. Dylan then? That would mean I’d have to ask him for a favor, and I didn’t really want to. But how else would I give Ryker a good gift?
I guess that’s what I would do. But instead of buying one I’d ask Dylan to make it using my recipe. Would he though? I mean he seems like a nice guy. I guess the real question would be if I could be alone with him for about two hours. Or if could handle it at least. I’ve really only been around Ryker.
——————
After we ate dinner, it was around 7 but Angela already looked exhausted. My mom set her to sleep in the guest room before leaving for work. I didn’t get why she always overworked herself. I knew she was tired too, but yet she stays awake almost all day to take care of us, and then leaves for work at night. When it was just me here as soon as she came back she’d give me a hug, take a shower, and then head to bed until it was later in the evening. I guess having more people in the house is making her think she has to stay up. I can take care of everyone. I didn’t mind playing around with Angela, I didn’t mind joking Lucky in a game, or going outside with everyone. I also didn’t mind cooking for more than just two people. So I didn’t exactly know why she stayed awake when she was so tired.
“I can’t wait to head back home alreadyyyy.” Lucky groaned, the tv playing quietly in the background. He was on his phone while l sat reading a book as usual.
“Sorry.” I mumbled, closing my book and turning my head to face the tv that was currently playing a movie about some cops trying to catch a serial killer or something like that. I wasn’t paying attention.
Lucky stayed quiet for a while before facing me, “Sorry for what?”
“That you have to stay here.” I answered.
“It’s not even your fault. Plus, it’s not even bad here. I just miss being with my family, y’know?” Lucky explained, now facing the ceiling with his arms under his head. I nodded my head. I didn’t exactly know how he felt about this whole situation. I’m sure he realizes why he even has to be here. Because some people just don’t like humans.
I opened my book again, trying to get at least halfway done with it before I fall asleep. At least that was my goal. Honestly I was extremely tired for no reason. I go to bed relatively early, and since I don’t have school anymore I’ve been waking up at around nine in the morning everyday. I didn’t know why I felt so exhausted. I wasn’t too worried though. I feel fine in the morning so it’s fine.
“Can I ask you a question, Nathan?” Lucky asked, still staring at the ceiling.
“Sure?” It came out more as a question.
“Do you like Ryker?”
My eyes widened. What kind of a question was that? “Yeah. He’s a nice friend. Why wouldn’t I?” Lucky started laughing, sitting up and now looking right at me, “I meant like, like him. Y’know, like a couple?”
I felt my cheeks immediately heat up at the realization. Lucky started laughing so hard he was choking while I buried my face in my hands. This was embarrassing. I tried getting rid of the red blush that just seemed to be painted on me at this point. I groaned as Lucky caught his breath, still waiting on an answer, though I’m sure he’s already assume one.
I’ve never really thought about it. I mean I do like him as a friend. He’s done nothing but help me ever since I’ve met him. I really do like being with him too. But do I really like him? I could just be mistaking it for liking him as a friend. That was probably it really. I don’t think I do. Nope. Plus, what makes anyone think that Ryker would like me back? It just didn’t make any sense. was he even into boys? Was I even into anyone? I’ve always thought that no one would want to be around me pretty much my whole life. I don’t know anymore at this point. Why were we even on the topic?
“N-no. We’re just friends.” The blush on my face was still painted across my cheeks. Lucky just rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say.”
I grabbed my book that I had lightly thrown on the cushion next to me and hid my bright red face in it. Just forget about it. Why would he ask that question anyways? It so random to ask. I was so unprepared too. There was no way I could just forget about this.
———Ryker———
The cold air outside felt great. A thin layer of snow now covered the entire city from last nights little shower, and it just felt great to be outside. Today was going to be a good day. I could feel it. Today also happened to be the day that Lucky and Angela would be coming home with us, which we were all excited about.
Jasmine had work today, and of course she was angry. It actually took me a while to clam her down so she wouldn’t be late for work. So now it was just Dylan and Isabelle with me as we headed to the bus stop to go and get them. I guess this counts as a family reunion? I mean, we haven’t really seen each other for nearly a week. It may not seem that long, but when all you have are your siblings, it’s not easy to let go of them. Let alone be apart from them for this amount of time.
Nathan had already texted me that they were already waiting. Apparently his mom wanted to say goodbye to Angela because she grew attached to her. I wasn’t very surprised. They must be freezing though. I know this kind of weather is kind of amplified for humans too. My mind went back to that night that seemed like forever ago. When Nathan had just snuggled up as close as he wanted to me for warmth. My heart fell, and a small smile appeared on my face as we walked along the sidewalk.
When we arrived at the bus stop, Lucky had practically ran as fast as he could to Dylan’s hand. Isabelle stayed in the back, smiling. I had told her before we had left to keep her distance from these two. Mainly because I had noticed how alert Nathan was when Isabelle was around. But that’s not something I should worry about now.
I crouched down, watching a small four-year old girl stumble over the snow to get to me. I let down a finger for her to hang on to while I talked to Nathan and his mom, but I couldn’t help but notice how the woman standing next to Nathan flinched as soon as Angela had hugged my finger. Did she think I’d hurt my own sister? That-that can’t be it, right?
“Thank you both so much. I don’t know what I would do if you hadn’t helped.” I slightly smiled, they smile back, “Oh you’re welcome! If you need help you can send them our way anytime!” His mother offered. She was the complete opposite of Nathan. She didn’t seem sheepish around me at all. So then why was Nathan so afraid? The thought snuck into the back of my mind, but I just pushed it aside.
“Ready Angel?” I asked, waiting for her to nod her head, but instead she rushed over to Nathan’s mom, gave her a hug then hurried back. I chuckled, tilting my hand slightly for her to climb on herself. I turned to Nathan, who waved a little before quickly stuffing his hands into the pockets and scrunching up his jacket. Just as I called it, he was freezing. Maybe he wants to come with us for a little? I have to take them shopping since there was only a couple days until Christmas, and Dylan and Lucky still needed to find gifts.
“Wanna come with us, Nathan? We’re just going shopping then heading back to my house.” I asked. He looked shocked before turning to his mom who nodded and whispered something to him. Nathan nodded his head with a smile on his face. I let my hand down again, watching him lift himself up on the first try, but still trip over thin air and fall. I would help him, but judging by the way he reacted a week ago when I was just trying to check up on him, I don’t think I really want to freak him out even more.
I thanked his mom again for helping, and we left. Dylan and Lucky were catching up while we made our way to the small store where we usually go to. I handed Angela to Isabelle. She knew what to do and what not to do. I couldn’t imagine Isabelle ever hurting anyone or anything so it was fine.
Behind me, Lucky and Dylan were laughing about something, and it made me kind of curious, but I didn’t want to bother them. Even if they spent hours talking on the phone and as much time together in school as they could, they still acted like they haven’t seen each other for years. That’s what happens when you let them share a room when they were younger. It wasn’t a bad thing though. Not at all.
It wasn’t too early. Maybe about midday so it was a little warmer, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about the little ice cube in my palm that was shivering. Was he just sensitive to the cold? It would make sense. Not even Angela was, but then again she was wearing a thicker jacket. I slightly cupped my hand a little more, watching him adjust his position and bundle up a little more. My heart fell, I wish I could help more, but I was scared that he’d freak out again if I did anything more. The last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable.
“We’re almost there. You okay?” I asked worriedly, passing by some people on the sidewalk that seemed to be coming back from shopping themselves. A lot of them were carrying bags and wrapping paper. So people had the same idea as us.
Nathan nodded his head, a slight smile on his face. Just a two more blocks. I looked back, seeing that Dylan was holding one of Isabelle’s hands and smirking right at me. Lucky was on his shoulder, and I’m guessing he was doing the exact same thing. I raised an eyebrow, making them both laugh. I rolled my eyes, turning to the huge parking lot coming into view. Surprisingly enough, there weren’t many cars. I guess it was a good thing we came relatively early.
As soon as I entered the store, I was hit with warm air, slightly making it hard to breath for the split second I was under the heater. I stared down at Nathan, who looked relieved, but he still felt like an ice cube in my hand. Just give him some time. He looked like he was doing better already. A small smile involuntarily formed on my face.
“Sooo it’s only Lucky and I picking out gifts today?” Dylan walked beside me.
“Well yeah. If Isabelle and Angela want to get some things too.” I shrugged my shoulders, walking over to the sitting area where the small deli stand was. There weren’t too many people here, and I was just kind of here to make sure everything would be okay. I needed to get gifts too, but I just need to go pick them up when the order is done.
“Alright. We won’t be long.” Dylan grabbed Isabelle’s hand again, asking her and Angela if they wanted to go pick out gifts for everyone. I laughed when they both cheered. Meanwhile, I let Nathan down on the table. It took him a while to catch his balance, but he just sat back down on the table instead of the human-sized table on top. It’s not like I minded though. We’ve shared a desk together since the start of school anyways.
“Feeling better?” I asked, holding my head up with one of my hands.
“Y-yeah,” He stuttered, playing with his hands, “Why’d you w-want me to come a-anyways?”
I shrugged my shoulders, “Why not? You could have said no if you didn’t want to come.”
He thought about his response for a bit, “Thank you.”
I was a bit surprised. Why was he thanking me? What did I do for him? Get him out of the house? I was about to ask what for, but I wasn’t going to. He probably has his reasons. Whatever’s going on in his mind I guess. But I could say I was grateful that he said yes. I would have probably just been on my phone while waiting for Lucky and Dylan to pick out gifts. It gets boring.
Crowds of people were leaving and some were entering. Every time someone had passed by us I couldn’t help but notice Nathan inch closer to me. Right. It’s been a while since we’ve really hung out I forgot he doesn’t really do well when other people are near him for whatever reason. I used my free hand to hide him from everyone’s sights. Maybe he’s just reticent. It wouldn’t be shocking. No offense!
“Um, what are you doing for Christmas?” I tried taking his mind off of whatever was going on in there. He slightly flinched, then shook his head like I had just brought him back to reality, “Ah, um, reading? We… We don’t r-really do Christmas. Just hand each other gifts and th-that’s it.” He smiled like that’s normal. Then again, as far as I know it was only him and his mom. Still, it must be pretty sad that the doesn’t really celebrate.
“That’s it?” I looked at him sadly as he nodded his head. Usually we just kind of decorate together, which was why I hadn’t even set up the tree yet, but then Dylan and I make dinner, and we just open gifts. It’s not like this big thing though. It used to be when my parents were still here.
“If you want to you can celebrate with us. You don’t need to get us gifts or anything either.” I offered, making him laugh. A confused look was plastered on my face before he explained, “I kinda… already have g-gifts for you all.”
I blinked a few times. That I was not expecting. When? Why? Why did he get us all gifts? He didn’t have to. Now I kind of feel bad that he actually spent money on us. Did he get one for everyone? I think he did.
“Huh? W-why?” I was at a loss for words. Of course I bought him something, and I really hoped he liked it, but now I have to worry if it’ll be equal to whatever he bought for me. My initial plan was to surprise him with it, but apparently he had the same idea. I just hoped that it wasn’t anything crazy expensive because then I’d really feel bad.
“You’ve all b-been really nice to m-me,” He started, “Oh yeah! I still d-don’t have anything for Dylan. D-do you mind helping me?”
“I mean, yeah of course, b-but how did you even…?” I was confused. How did he get presents if he’s… vertically challenged. Our size difference limits us a lot so how did he even buy gifts if they’d be fifty times bigger than himself? Even we struggle with that which explains why we all go Christmas shopping at different times with Lucky since Angela can’t walk into a human-sized store by herself.
“I haven’t b-bough them yet. I actually need y-your help with that too.” He laughed nervously. Now that makes more sense. I just nodded, smiling. Nathan was too good of a friend for me. I wasn’t expecting anything honestly. I would definitely give him a hug if I didn’t think he’d be afraid.
——————
I gave Nathan a list of everything Dylan was into, even the embarrassing stuff that only his family knows about, but I trust Nathan not to tell anyone. Eventually he found something and sent it to me to make sure. It was a poster of one of his favorite actors, signed and everything apparently. Dylan absolutely loves watching movies. Even the old ones made thirty years before he was even born. I don’t know where Nathan found that at, but oh my gosh if all the gifts are like that I am going to feel so bad that mine won’t even be comparable to his.
Right on time, Dylan and all of them came back with bags in their hands. We all left and walked back to our house. Like I said, today was a good day.
———Nathan———
Today really was a good day. I have no idea why I had thought that hits morning, but obviously it wasn’t lying to me. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with Ryker, so of course I said yes to his invitation. Before I left my mom just whispered for me to go, like she was going out to do something as well. I knew she took off work today as well so obviously something was happening there. But I completely forgot about it while I was at Ryker’s house.
It was already getting late. The sun just barely peaking out over the horizon. There was a light snow outside, covering the already frosted ground outside. It was nice and warm inside, with the heater on and slightly blowing right on me. I was snuggled up near the windowsill in the living room, blanket on top of me and staring outside watching the sun go down. Ryker was helping his siblings wrap gifts, so it was just me for now. It was surprisingly quiet except for the faint crinkling of wrapping paper.
The front door opened wide, letting in cold air that slightly stung my face. I peaked my head around the wall that obstructed my view, seeing a girl with long, curly black hair with a few dark purple streaks walk into the house, carrying a two bags and a uniform that looked like it belonged to a gas station. I guess Jasmine was working or something? Either way, I pressed myself up father into the corner, trying not to be seen by her. She scares me. Even if Lucky said she’s a lot nicer than she’s been to me, I don’t exactly think she’ll ever like me.
“Ry! I’m home!” She screamed from across the house. I stayed under the blanket, staying hidden. I have a feeling the second she sees me she’ll start asking questions or threaten me. Luckily, she didn’t see me, and instead headed off to her room, soon followed by the sound of the shower starting.
Ryker walked back into the room, grabbing something off from a table and leaving again. Then everyone had started bringing in the now wrapped presents and placing them on the on the floor. Ryker came back with a box and set it down beside the couch. I forced myself to crawl a bit closer to see what they were doing. Setting up a Christmas tree. I’m guessing they had the ornaments in the box too.
“Alright, you guys go crazy.” Ryker laughed, opening up the box and walking to the couch by the windowsill I was currently sitting down at. He sat down, sighing and turned to check on me. I flashed a smile, earning one back.
I watched as Dylan set up the tree for everyone while Isabelle quickly grabbed some white streamers and draped all over the tree messily. My attention was turned to the still form on the couch next to me. Ryker’s chest slowly fell and rose, his eyes closed and covered up in the blanket. He looked comfortable…
Was he asleep? Probably. I would too if I had to keep up with this many people. Was it hard? Well no duh, Nathan. He always looks tired when he’s at school. Should I leave now then? I didn’t want to wake him up when I had to go. I would feel terrible. Actually, now would be a great time to ask Dylan about getting Ryker an extra gift in case he won’t like the one I have for him. The only problem is mustering up the courage to even talk to him. Alone. I think it’d be fine though. It’s only for a little bit until I can eventually make this.
It took them around twenty minutes to place all of their ornaments on the tree, but they did. None of them dared to wake up Ryker after they were done either. Jasmine walked into the room, dressed up in white sweatpants and a sweater. She walked up to Ryker, rolling her eyes with a smile on her face before she noticed me. Her smile disappeared as she glared at me. I sank back, burying myself in the blanket. What did I do to her?
She averted her attention to the tree, smiling and talking with both Isabelle and Angela. Thanking them for helping with the tree and then continued to play around with Angela in her hands. No wonder she threatened me so much when she had to watch Angela leave. Jasmine was really attached to her. Kind of like my mom.
“Boo!” I physically jumped, my heart racing from the scare. I looked behind me, seeing Lucky laughing, nearly choking. Dylan was also laughing, but I just smiled. Where did he even come from?
“Oh my gosh you should have seen your face!” Dylan let out a hand for me to help me get on my feet. It took me a while to balance myself from sitting down for so long, but I managed.
“You want to get out of here for a bit?” Lucky asked just as soon as Dylan offered an open palm. I stared at it, wide-eyed. I really only trust Ryker to hold me, but I guess this won’t be so bad.
“Sure.” Lucky grabbed my wrist as we walked on, and for the first time in my life I didn’t trip and fall on my face embarrassingly. Okay, so I had help this time but one day I’ll be able to do it on my own. Hopefully. Or maybe I won’t even have to.
Dylan took us to his room, where there were tons of posters of games and a little tv stand with a shelf full of some books that he probably needed for school and some games along with VHS tapes. I was honestly really surprised by the place. I don’t know why expected there to be sporty things like weights and basketballs. Y’know. What athletes have.
There was a bedside dresser with a few human-sized things on it which I was guessing was Lucky’s temporary room. I was guessing these two just shared a room since his other room wasn’t at all filled with things. Just a few clothes and a dresser. I’m guessing everything else was here.
Lucky and I were set down on the dresser while Dylan sat down on his bed. Lucky gave me a short tour of his own little room before letting me sit down on his bed while he sat in a chair. It was quiet for a second before Jasmine’s voice screamed from the other room, “Lucky!”
He groaned in response while Dylan snickered, letting lucky onto the floor. It was just the two of us now. I waited until I saw Lucky leave before trying my hardest to calm down before I had a actually tried to talk to Dylan by myself. I could when there were people around. What’s so different this time? I had no one to save me if I said the wrong thing.
“Oh hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you what you got Ryker for Christmas. Lucky told me you had something good.” Dylan spoke first, a grin on his face. Well I already told Lucky, so if I don’t tell Dylan he’ll just end up telling him. There was no point in hiding it.
“C-concert tickets.” I answered, hoping he could hear. I was guessing he did by the reaction. His eyes went wide and his jaw slightly opened wide in shock.
“That one band he’s absolutely crazy for?”
I nodded my head. Not the way I would word it. I actually kind of find it funny how much Ryker loves that band. I forgot the name, but he’ll remind me when I show him the tickets.
“Oh my gosh he’s gonna to go crazy.” Dylan laughed. Does that mean he’ll like it? If that’s so then I don’t need to ask for help. This makes my life so much easier. I’m so glad I don’t have to ask for any favors. It’s not exactly a grate first impression to immediately ask for something. I let out a sigh of relief.
——————
I didn’t leave the house until about an hour after Ryker woke up. It was close to midnight, but it’s not like I’m some little kid who has a bed time. Heck, we don’t even have school tomorrow so it really didn’t matter.
When I arrived home, my mom was asleep on the couch, the tv playing The Golden Girls per usual and the blanket halfway on the ground. I smiled to myself, pulling the blanket over her and turning up the heater. She was freezing. I headed to my room, grabbed a pair of clothes, took an extremely hot shower, and buried myself under the blankets. Things were going great. Maybe life really didn’t hate me all that much.
———Ryker———
It was Christmas Day. The day everyone was waiting for. Especially Angela and Isabelle who woke me up at six in the morning to wish everyone in the house a merry Christmas. I admit, I was just the slightest bit annoyed, but that was because I went to bed late at night cleaning up and setting up gifts. I also had to take out some food to defrost for later.
This morning was a huge mess. Even if we weren’t really doing anything until later, I still had to go pick up a few things before. The day before I helped Nathan with the gifts he had bought, which by the way he ordered online (I don’t know how I didn’t think about this sooner) I wrapped the one’s I could while he wrapped the other two that belonged to Lucky and Angela. I was honestly surprised at how thoughtful he was. He even bought one for Jasmine and I know for a fact that Jasmine would absolutely love it. Although she doesn’t like to admit it, she absolutely loves stuffed animals. I just don’t know how he even knew. Was he just guessing? Then I also noticed that he was hiding mine from me. I wondered what it could be, but I would find out later today.
I also had to go pick him up today, but that wasn’t my priority right now. I planned on going early in the morning, but the snow was coming down pretty heavy so I had to wait. I wouldn’t have minded heading out there, it’s just I didn’t want to get sick. I rarely do, but when it does happen, it’s terrible. So now it was almost four in the afternoon, only about two hours before all the stores started closing. Just barely making it in time to go pick up the cake Jasmine had ordered. Why she didn’t get it herself? I had zero idea. I would have made her get it if she hadn’t been half asleep.
Once in the store, the sweet smell of strawberry and chocolate filled my nose. Curse my sweet tooth. Where did she even find this place at? It was like in the middle of nowhere, yet it looked so nice inside and smelled delicious. A woman walked up to the counter, her apron dressed in icing and batter.
“Hi! Did you have an order?” She smiled, ready to tap away at the screen in front of her.
“Oh, um, I think it’s under the name Jasmine?” I replied, not being able to take my eyes off of the amazing looking cookies that were displayed.
“Yup! Let me just go get the box.” She left the room. Jasmine purposely made me come get this. She was doing something at home, and she thought she could distract me. Damn it it’s working.
The woman came back with a white box and typed something in the computer before l grabbed the box, and I guess she saw me looking at the displays because she just laughed, “I’ll give you a small box for free. How’s that sound?”
“Yes please.” I almost immediately replied, laughing along with her. I swear if Jasmine makes fun of me for this when I get home… I was handed another small box while I thanked the lady and left.
When I walked in the house, Jasmine was waiting right at the front door, a huge smirk on her face. I glared at her.
“Why the extra box?” She could barely hold in her snicker. I rolled my eyes, “Shut up. You’re not getting any.” I stuck my tongue out immaturely, while she tried reaching for the extra box I was holding just above my head. She gave up about two minutes later, snatching the cake from my hands and muttering something as she made her way to the kitchen.
I looked at the time, reading six thirty already. Now would be a good time to go quickly pick up Nathan. I gave him a quick text, placed the box of cookies in my room, and went back out.
——————
It only took me about half an hour to walk over there and back. Everyone knew Nathan was coming, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited. I mean, he’s never had a real Christmas according to him, so I’m glad I can at least give him the opportunity. Even if we aren’t family or anything, I think it’s a nice change of things. Plus, afterwards the younger ones go to bed while the rest of us stay up a little longer and go to our separate rooms. Really I was the only one alone because Jasmine falls asleep almost immediately. Nathan was actually staying the night, and not in the human accommodating house. I didn’t want him to be alone so I had offered to make a little space for him in my room. He agreed.
So now we were at the house, Nathan sitting down in my room away from the chaos happening. I was cooking, Dylan clearing the middle of the living room for later, Jasmine keeping the little ones busy, Lucky was taking a shower. Things were going great surprisingly enough. This was only the second time time we’ve celebrated without our parents, so I was expecting something to happen, but everyone seemed happy. The first time was hard for us, and we barely even wanted to celebrate, but it’s what our parents would have wanted, so we kept on going.
The food was relatively done, I just needed to go get some plates and get everyone in here. I went to my room, finding Nathan sitting on the makeshift bed I made out of some soft cloth I cut off of one my hoodies. What? I don’t used that one anymore. I would have been more than happy to let him on my bed and I sleep on the floor (I’m sure he was terrified just as much as I was about what could happen if we slept on the same bed) but I figured he’d feel bad, so I tried to make it as comfy as possible.
“Sorry for just leaving you here. I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with the chaos happening in the other room.” I explained, offering a hand. He shook his head, stepping on and falling forward yet again. He’ll get it at some point. Hopefully.
“It’s fine.” He replied, groaning as he sat back up.
Lucky was already making the three of them a plate. I don’t really know where he learned how to do it, but he just did. I wasn’t complaining. It was less work for me anyways. As soon as everyone had their plate, we ate around the coffee table, laughing and sometimes messing around with one another. Jasmine had brought up the cookies again before I lightly slapped her shoulder.
Once we all finished eating, it was time for presents, which I handed out to everyone. Nathan told me to let everyone know to open the present he gave them last just so he knows how much they would all really like it. I just went along with it, so now everyone was kind of excited. I opened mine, getting one of the hoodies I had shown Jasmine just a few days ago. From Dylan a pair of new headphones since my old ones broke sadly. Lucky bought me some new markers since my old ones were dry. Isabelle and Angela combined their gifts and gave me a little picture frame of both of them (My heart was melting) that I would definitely be placing on the tv stand later.
It was weird for me since I didn’t have a physical gift from Nathan, and I didn’t really know how to react to that. Just what did he get me? I was so confused, but I waited patiently. I’m sure I’d love whatever it is either way.
Everyone was done opening their gifts, only left with one. Nathan jumped when all the attention was on him, visibly trembling. I stepped in for him. “Jasmine should go first.” I grinned. She rolled her eyes, grabbing the box I had stuffed the gift in.
“Like this is gonna be good…” She mumbled. I elbowed her side while Nathan looked down a little sadly. Just wait…
As soon as she had opened it, her jaw nearly dropped. She glared at me for a split second before turning back to the adorable looking teddy bear. She hates admitting it, but she loves those kinds of things.
“Okay, maybe you’re not so bad after all.” She smiled at him for the first time ever.
“My turn!” Isabelle and Angela both opened theirs at the same time, revealing a matching set of clothes. I had to cover my ears from the high pitched squeals. Nathan laughed, covering his ears too.
Lucky opened his, a game that he’s been wanting for forever. He hugged Nathan, he flinched at the contact, but either way hugged him lightly back. Dylan followed, confused at what his could be before he opened it up all the way and stuttered, struggling to find what to say.
“H-how did you…” He looked over the me, but I just shrugged and smirked.
“You are literally the best.” Dylan laughed, folding the paper back up.
We all laughed, including Nathan who was walking closer to me, waiting on the edge. Was he waiting for something? Oh! I let me hand out, seeing him use my thumb to help him balance so he didn’t embarrass himself in front of everyone. I brought him closer, confused the entire time as he pulled out his phone, and seconds later my own phone going off. He pointed at his as I hurried to pull mine out, and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the pictures he sent.
“You’re kidding, right?” I felt my face heat up slightly, watching him shake his head and laugh a bit. I did a double take before covering my mouth with my free hand.
“Told you he’d love it!” Dylan smiled.
I absolutely do yes.
“I-I, um, wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”
“Are you kidding? This is literally the best thing you could have ever given me.” I laughed, trying my hardest to hide the blush on my face, but it was too late because everyone was laughing except for Angela and Isabelle. Including me. Oh my gosh this was so much better than my gift to him. How was I even going to compare to his?
I looked to Lucky, who nodded his head and grabbed it really quickly before I even let Nathan back onto the table. Lucky handed it to him and pointed at me. Nathan started opening it, stopping halfway as he tried to figure out what it was. It wasn’t anything too special. Just a picture frame of the two of us. A picture we had taken a long time ago when we had to share classes. The same day that we hung out together for the first time.
“It’s not anything special. I’m not the best at picking gifts, but I hope you like it.”
I was surprised when he hugged it close to his chest and looked like he was about to cry.
“Awww.” Lucky joked around. I couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on his cheeks. He loved it.
We cleaned up, had the younger kids go to sleep and Jasmine. Dylan and Lucky were in their room watching a movie, while my door was closed along with my curtains. The only light was coming from the dim lamp I had on my desk. I let Nathan down on the nightstand. We were both changed into something more comfortable. So now it was just the two of us.
“I can’t believe you bought me tickets.” I exasperated, still in shock.
“Well yeah. You’re really nice to me, help me out a whole lot.”
I turned to face him, a slight smile on my face, “Really? I feel like you’re the one always helping me.” He nodded his head. It went silent for a bit before I decided to break it, “Are you tired?” Honestly, I was exhausted, but I was willing to keep Nathan company until he fell asleep.
“Mmm… yeah.” He replied, already under a blanket. I chuckled lightly, gettin under my own, “Good night then.”
“Good night, Ryker.” I heard him reply. I’ve rarely heard him say my name before, and I don’t know why my face started heating up.
Four days later.
———Nathan———
Everything was going so great. The Christmas party at Ryker’s was amazing. Even the few days before that it was great just the be with everyone. My mom was happy, I was happy. Life was finally turning around for me. For the first time in years I finally felt like I could actually have a normal life. I had friends, I was going to graduate in five months. Everything was looking all up for me.
So why did it get flipped back around?
My mom and I were just going to go buy fireworks. Just the small ones. Nothing too huge. That’s all we wanted. This was really the only thing we truly celebrated together since it marked the start of the a new year. It marked that we could restart our lives over again. We loved watching the many colors paint the sky. That’s all we wanted. And we couldn’t have it.
We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess? Because everyone just acted like nothing had happened. That everything was going to be fine and okay. But it wasn’t. Nothing was “fine and okay.” I had really thought that maybe my life was finally turning around for the better just like my mom’s had, but no. I can never have anything nice just once. Just once I wanted something nice. And I couldn’t have it. Just like the fireworks we couldn’t have.
The store we were shopping at was relatively empty. Only a few people here and there. The only thing about it was that it was really close to the giant part of the city. That was all we were wary about. But we brushed it off. After all, we would only be there for about an hour then head back home.
“Ooo these look nice, right?” My mom picked up a tiny pack. I smiled, holding out the basket I was holding and let her place it in along with the two other tiny packs we had. We had continued looking, not at all aware of the large tremors that only grew more and more. And neither did the other people in the store. We all had just thought it was some unaware giant walking across the street. If only that were true.
The next thing we know, there’s screaming outside, we heard people fighting, we were rushed outside so we didn't get hurt, but we shouldn’t have ran outside. Two giants were fighting right in the open. Brutally at that. One had a very muscular build while the other was built, but not as muscular as the guy on top of him, laying punches in the face. People tried to break up the fight, but it only grew worse, and soon enough, the giants decided to bring humans into it. The one that was being pouched in the face continuously had tried to reach practically anything he could, and that just so happened to be a human-sized tree from a nearby park. Right where my mom was standing dialing 911.
I mean, what are the chances of that? It seemed like a made up lie, but it wasn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried my hardest to convince myself that it wasn’t real, that there was no way my mom would just be standing there and it just so happens that the giant would try reaching for the tree right next to her. Hah! It was ridiculous, right? I only wished I wasn’t telling the truth.
I stood in fear as I heard her scream at the top of her lungs while in the giant’s fist which was also holding the huge tree that looked minuscule in his hand. I couldn’t move. My mom was there. Getting hurt. And all I could do was stand and watch.
Eventually help did come, all the other humans had gone away except for the few that actually cared about what happened with my mom. I knew I was, because as soon as the paramedics came to see how she was doing, I nearly started sobbing in front of so many people. I’ve seen her like this before. She’ll be okay. Just let her heal for a few weeks and she can come back home. Right? I wish that were true. I wish that we hadn’t even decided to go to that stupid store. I wished that she was standing right next to me. But she wasn’t. And now everything I’ve worked so hard to build up here in this city is just taken away.
I stayed at the hospital, right next to my mom’s limp and weak body. The doctors were trying their hardest to keep her from… you can probably guess. Five broken ribs, a broken leg, and internal bleeding. I’m also pretty sure the doctor’s were hiding something from me, but I don’t know. She couldn’t breath well, and she winces every time she tries to move. Every time she wakes up she tells me to go home and get some rest. I tell her that I wasn’t leaving until she would be able to come home with me.
Today was no different. She would wake up, struggle to sit up, and eat her breakfast while I stayed sitting on the little bench. The doctor’s let me stay the night. I guess they felt bad or something? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t leaving her here. My phone would go off at least two times a day. It was always Ryker. I’m guessing he had heard what had happened, but I really didn’t feel like talking. Not now when this was when my mom needed me most.
“You should…. Eat…. Hon.” She had to take a few breaths between each word, which worried me, but the doctor’s would help with that. I believed it.
“I’m okay mom. Don’t worry about me.” My voice was light and tired. I didn’t feel hungry, but I knew my body was. I hadn’t eaten since the day she came here which was about three days ago. School starts tomorrow, but they called and said I didn’t have to come back until two weeks.
I refused to cry over this. If I did, then it would show that I’d given up. Mom always hated to see me cry. So I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to anyways since she would be coming back home with me.
My phone started going off again. Everyday at exactly nine and six Ryker would call, and I would let it ring until he was sent to voicemail. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to do anything but stay here with my mom and make sure she gets better. If she doesn’t then I don’t know what I would do.
“Maybe… you should… talk to him.” She wheezed. I shook my head, “I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”
“He’s worried, Nate. Just… promise me… you’ll talk to him?” I thought about it for a second before nodding my head. I was already hanging onto a promise her and I made all those years ago.
——————
“Mom!”
“Yes, Nate?”
“Do you promise to stay with me for forever?” I hung onto the hem of her tattered dress.
“Of course.” She smiled down at me.
——————
She had to keep that promise. She’s all I have left. Dad was already gone… I didn’t want to lose her too.
“Honey, go get some breakfast. For me, please?” She had begged, and I just couldn’t say no. I walked over to the door, and told I would be back.
———Ryker———
What happened three days ago was heartbreaking. At first I didn’t believe it. That’s a really big stretch, but it happened. How do I know? Because I’ve been calling and calling Nathan, and he doesn’t answer. It’s almost like he doesn’t wan tot talk, but then again I did the same with my own siblings after our parents passed away. I pushed them away and locked myself in my room. That’s what was happening with Nathan.
I had heard his mom was in the hospital, still healing, and I really do hope that she would be okay. Her and Nathan. It’s going to break Nathan if she… y’know.
Everyday I call him twice, he never answered. I understood why. I couldn’t be mad at him. The same thing happened to me. I pushed everyone away, and I only pulled myself together when I realized that they were also hurting. They helped me out like they did each other and now look at us. Back to some-what normal. Not to mention that they didn’t know how to cook or clean.
I groaned, leaning back in my desk chair while looking at my phone. I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was to try and help him out as much as I could. I would give him anything he needed. I know how bad it gets, and I would hate to see him like that.
My phone was going off, and I was surprised to see that Nathan was actually calling me back. I quickly picked up my phone and clicked the green phone button.
“Oh my gosh Nathan! Are you okay? I-I heard what happened and-“
“This is Ryker, right?” It was a raspy woman’s voice. His mom.
“Oh, y-yes ma’am.” My hands were shaking, my heart racing. I don’t know why.
“I-I’m sorry to ask… you of this but… can you do something… for me?” I covered my mouth, my heart throbbing. She sounded terrible. How could Nathan still be there and listen to his own mother like this? I couldn’t if I was him. Oh Nathan…
“Anything!”
I heard her lightly chuckle, “Just make sure… Nate doesn’t do anything bad… please? H-he’s really not… doing good.”
“Of course.” I would imagine he wouldn't be doing too good.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She hung up.
I threw my phone on my bed, worried about what Nathan was even doing. I really am worried about him. So is nearly all of my siblings. Including Jasmine. I really wanted to talk to him. But I don’t think he’s going to school for the next couple of weeks. How do I know? Because I have the exact same message from the school. Also with a small note from Mrs. Kay saying that I should be there for him. Why wouldn’t I? I’m not a fake friend. I just hoped Nathan would call me eventually.
———Nathan———
She wasn’t getting any better. Actually, I think she was getting worse. The doctor’s increased the amount of pain meds for her, and nearly everyday they have to do an emergency procedure because she couldn’t breath right. That’s when I received the news that she had a punctured lung, which explains why she couldn’t breath properly. But that wasn’t good news. There was none. Anything I had heard was something that was wrong with her.
It was evening now, I was reading a book while she had the channel turned on to The Golden Girls. Everything was peaceful until she had a fit of coughs, and eventually the heart monitor was beeping fast. The doctors rushed in, and I could hear her struggle to breath again.
“Mom!” I yelled, watching as they had rushed her down the hallway.
“I love you, Nate.” She formed a weak smile right before they shut the door on me to the procedure room.
——————
I came back home after a week of staying in the hospital on that uncomfortable bench. I had a bag over my shoulder, and stood in the empty living room. It was quiet. You could only hear the faint sounds of crickets outside in the dark. I headed to my room, turned on the lamp in my room, and laid down in my bed, holding the old teddy bear up against my chest.
She was gone.
Tears formed in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. And I didn’t. She wouldn’t want to see me like that. She would say that there was no reason to cry. But there was. I had no one now. Just myself. What would I do now? I sucked in a shaky breath, falling asleep and hoping that all of those was just some sick nightmare.
When I woke up the next morning, it was quiet still. I stood up, changed my clothes and headed to the living room, where no one was sitting down watching tv. I headed to my mom’s room, finding her bed messy. She always makes sure it’s made before leaving the house.
So it really wasn’t a nightmare.
I wasn’t hungry. At least I didn’t feel hungry. I had only eaten that one day, and even then all I had was half a muffin. It’s been about four days since then. I felt that my body was weak, but I didn’t care. There was nothing for me to care about. I had just thought for once second that everything was alright. That everything was going great, and then this happens. It’s just my luck, right?
My phone was going off. It hasn’t for a while. Ryker was calling again, and I still didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. Of course I realized that he was just trying to check up on me, but I really wasn’t up to the task. I wasn’t even up to the task of making myself something to eat, so what makes anyone think I could hold a conversation.
It was cold in the house, so I just grabbed a blanket and bundled myself up on the couch. The tv was on in the background. It was usually on, and I was so used to it playing something while I was in my room reading or taking a nap. What was I supposed to do with my life now? There really was no meaning if I didn’t have anyone anymore. Ryker could move on. He didn’t need to worry about me. I was just a temporary friend anyways.
Why am I thinking like this?
I can’t believe I fell for a false ending. I thought I could just live a happy life now. Of course whatever bad luck was following me never went away. I could keep wishing all I want, but it wouldn’t bring any of my parents back. I could cry, but it wouldn’t bring them back. No matter how hard it was to keep the tears from falling. They would hate to see me like that. They would also hate to see me alone, but it was hard to choose between the two.
I don’t want to leave Ryker.
I groaned, burying my face into my hands. Maybe Ryker would give up on me too if I stayed quiet long enough. He’d eventually stop calling me everyday and find a new friend that was much, much better than me. Then again… I don’t want to lose him too. I really do like him. He’s been nothing but patient and kind to me. This was how I’d be repaying him? I was a horrible person. I would tell him that I’m sorry if I had the guts to. But I don’t. There’s nothing more I want in the world than to just cry and cry and cry, and I couldn’t.
“I’m trying to keep myself together, mom.” I whispered, stifling back a sob and burying my entire body under the sheets. I felt terrible. I deserve everything that’s happened to me… I’m a horrible person and no one would disagree with me.
——————
For the next four days I just slept. Off and on. There were some days I would sit outside in the cold and watch as people walked down the street or how many cars went passing by. I’d go back inside, lay down on the couch with my little bear and go to sleep. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, and somehow I woke up the next day feeling even more tired than before. I didn’t know if that was a sign that my body was giving up on me, or if was from the lack of food that I’ve been neglecting to give to my body. I just haven’t been feeling like it.
Ryker never stopped calling, and each time he did my heart throbbed. Each time he called I had to hold in the tears that were already so hard not to let out. All of a sudden I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me close and keep me warm like he used to. I missed it. I missed him. Which was an odd thing for me to say. I grew too used to him, but was that really a bad thing? It just means it’ll hurt more when he eventually leaves me. He’ll take one good look at me now, and abandon me. Even the slightest mention of the thought was enough for me to not to answer his calls. I wanted to answer so badly.
Please help me.
I always repeated in my mind. I still had his gift. The picture of the two of us the first time we ever hung out together. I didn’t realize how small I really was next to him until I saw that photo, but I loved it. I had a real smile on my face. I haven’t been able to do that for a while.
This morning wasn’t any different, I sat outside for a while until I couldn’t feel my fingers, walked back inside, grabbed a book, and read until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I’d put the tv on, clean up whatever little mess was in the house, and head back outside for a little. I at least like to get a little bit of sunlight everyday. I wasn’t really taking the best care of myself, but I could just do this one little thing. It couldn’t hurt me anymore than I already was.
Maybe I could walk over to Ryker’s?
That was an insane thought. There was no way I could do it. Plus, he probably doesn’t even want to see me. He’s called so many times I forgot what number I was at. Why would he want to see me? I really haven’t been the best. At all. Though… I could at least try. I know where he lives. I’ve been there plenty of times to know. I really did want to see him too.
I grabbed my phone, zipped up my jacket, and started to walk slowly down the sidewalk. It was a long walk just to reach the small gas station that was close by their house. The sun was long gone, it was cold and snowing lightly outside, my face was freezing and my skin stung from the cold, but I kept on going. I was almost there. If he wanted to see me, he’d let me in and I could be warm again, have someone to talk to, finally be comfortable. If he doesn’t, then I’d be left out in the cold and get hypothermia unless I can make it back to my house in time.
In total, it took me nearly an hour and a half to reach their house. I stared at the huge door in front of me, shivering. This was a bad idea. This could either go really good, or end really badly. I guess there was only one way to find out.
I grabbed my phone with my shaking, ice-cold hands and called Ryker back.
———Ryker———
Everyone was gone on some overnight school trip. The entire district. It was to some theme park a couple hours away from here, and I didn’t really feel like attending. Actually, I haven’t even been going to school since I received that message. I’ve been hanging onto hope that Nathan would eventually answer one of my calls. He never did.
So now, here I was, watching a movie by myself in the living room. It was pretty late, but might as well finish off the movie. I was sitting down with a bowl of half-eaten popcorn when my phone started ringing. Probably just one of my siblings-
It was Nathan.
I freaked out, quickly pausing the movie and placing the bowl I had on the coffee table in front of me before answering.
“Hello?”
It took a while for Nathan to reply, but he did, and I was more than shocked.
“U-um. C-c-could you o-o-open your d-d-door?”
He just walked all the way from his house to mine. In the cold. While it was snowing. Of course I hurried to open the door, seeing the small being that was Nathan on my doorstep, shivering. I dropped my phone of the floor, scooping him up into my hand, hearing him let out a tiny squeak before I shut the door behind us.
I gave him a second to catch his breath, his chest quickly rising up and down. I apologized so many times as I slid down the door. Nathan did not look good at all. He looked skinnier, I could tell he wasn’t really taking care of himself. I waited for him to say something, but he was struggling himself just to find the words.
I wasn���t mad at him. Not at all. I’ve wanted to see him. I’ve wanted him to say for me to help him. Was this the time? I would do everything I could for him. Starting with making him something to eat since I’m positively sure he hasn’t been eating. I technically made a promise to his mom and I was not about to break it.
“Did… did you want something to eat?” I whispered. It took him a second to process what I asked him, but he nodded, and I couldn’t tell if he was shivering of trembling in my hand. I stood up slowly, guiding us to the kitchen and tilting my hand on the counter for him to get off. I grabbed a plate of leftovers I made for myself last night and started heating it up in the microwave. I watched with sympathy as he scooted his back up against the paper towels and dug his head into his knees. He felt bad.
“H-hey look, I promise I’m not mad at all. I understand why you didn’t answer my calls.” I tried to make him feel better. It’s not like I would lie to him. Nathan just shook his head, taking deep breaths to stop himself from crying. I bit the inside of my cheek, hearing the microwave go off. I took out the small container of chicken and rice and worked on making Nathan a small enough plate. I handed him the small pieces, offering a small smile as he took a bite.
I waited until he was full, seeing that he didn’t really eat much, but it was better than nothing. Then, went over to the living room to turn off the tv. Obviously he wasn’t going home tonight. He was probably exhausted anyways, and I never did get rid of those makeshift accommodations for him. I don’t think he really wants to be alone either.
“Do you wanna go lie down for a bit?” I asked, my hand palm up and ready for him to climb on. Nathan nodded his head, climbing on and sitting in the middle, a little warmer now. I closed the door to my room and turned on the lamp on my desk. I placed my hand on the nightstand for him to get off, but he didn’t Instead, he shook his head, grabbing as much of my sweater sleeve as he could and hung on tight. My heart fell. He just wanted someone to be there for him, and how could I deny him that?
I smiled, sitting down up against the head of my bed and just let him stay in my palm. He was hurting, and I couldn’t just leave him like that. That’s when he let go and pointed back to the set up I had on my nightstand.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I get why you’re upset. I’ve been through the same thing.” His eyes went wide before shaking his head, “It’s not the same thing! I watched the doctors take her away. She said ‘I love you’ right before she went through the doors, and she never came out. She knew she wasn’t going back with me. I had no one waiting for me at home because my dad was also killed right in front of my face! I’ve been depressed and lonely for years, and I had no one. Did you have to watch your own parents die in front of your face? Were you alone after everything happened? No, because you had your siblings to help you!” He covered his mouth as I stared wide-eyed right back at him. He wasn’t wrong. I had people help me. Nathan didn’t. Which was why I wanted to help him. But the next words that came out of his mouth shook me to the core.
“Please don’t hurt me. I-I’m s-sorry.”
He brought his knees up to his chest and covered his head with his arms. My heart skipped a beat. He was afraid of me, and that just made me horrified. He never told me what happened to him before he moved here. He never told me why he was so afraid of giants. So, whatever had happened was obviously was affecting how he felt right now.
“What? No, never little guy. Why would I hurt you?”
“You’re not mad?”
I shook my head, “Not at all.”
I watched as he wiped away loose tears, sniffling them back and scooting closer to me. I braced myself for what I knew what was coming next.
———Nathan———
Once the tears had started flooding my eyes, there was nothing I could do to stop from crying in front of Ryker now. I bit the side of my cheek so hard the faint taste of blood filled my mouth. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, don’t cry. But my own words didn’t stop the tears from cascading down my face.
Ryker fixed my position in his palm while I struggled to wipe away the loose tears that were only falling down harder the more I kept thinking about the tragic events that have happened this past month. Why? Why’d she have to leave me here?
I was full on sobbing at this point. I had buried my face in Ryker’s hoodie to muffle the sounds of my cries. I could hear the faint sound of his heartbeat, I could hear his light breathing. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ryker. Is what I wish I could say to him, but I currently couldn’t
Something warm pressed me up lightly against Ryker’s chest. I flinched, slightly turning my head to see that the pad of his thumb was offering some kind of comfort. It felt weird to me, but somehow I liked it? I didn’t want him to let go of me, but I was also scared at the same time.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here, Nathan.” Ryker whispered softly, noticeably trying to comfort me while I just cried and cried into the fabric of his hoodie. I’m sorry Ryker. I wanted to say it so badly, but I couldn’t. Why did he worry about me so much? I should be at home, alone, crying into my pillow. Why did he want to stay with an insignificant little human whose life somehow gets turned upside down every other month?
“I’m s-s-sorry.” I managed to say in between sobs. He lightly squeezed me against him before responding, “You’re the one who’s hurt, Nathan. You don’t have to apologize if I’m the one who wants to help you, okay?”
And I could practically hear the sad smile forming on his face as he continued to offer a comforting presence.
I quietly kept on crying, grabbing fistfuls of as much fabric as I could while feeling safe up against his chest. Was this what I needed? To be held just like this and cry and cry? It felt so good. I didn’t want Ryker to ever let go of me. The soft, warm touch on my back felt amazing.
“I-I miss her, Ryker.” I cried in between sobs.
“I know, I know. It’s alright,” He started lightly rubbing my back, making me slightly shudder, “Do you want me to let you go?” I quickly shook my head, sniffling while tears silently fell down my face. Please don’t ever let me go. I snuggled up closer, closing my eyes. This felt right. Nothing else could make me feel better.
“You okay?” He asked me. I nodded my head, hearing him chuckle above me. I missed both my parents. So, so much. Nothing could describe just how grateful I was that Ryker didn’t shut me out. I’ve never felt better than right now at this very moment. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably continue to starve myself until I eventually died. That was probably my initial plan, but I doubt that now that I’m with Ryker he’d just let me do that. Heck, the first thing he asks me is if I want something to eat, which I involuntarily nodded to. I felt safe when I was around him.
Ryker moved, but never moved me. He just laid down and just let me lay down on him. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes and just letting sleep take over me.
And it felt like the first real sleep I’ve had in ages.
——————
Please don’t hate me, I was just in an extremely angsty mood TwT. But hey, at least we get some comfort, right? Hahaa… (Please don’t hurt me)
I’m sorry this one took so long, it’s just I wanted to add a whole bunch of wholesome scenes. It was fun and depressing to write this, but everything’s all coming together. (Please don’t mind the many errors I was too tired edit it) Only a few more chapters and it’s done! Thank you guys for sticking with me on this ride, thank you all!
#g/t#g/t writing#g/t community#g/t comfort#g/t angst#giant/tiny#my writing#Restoration#oc: ryker#oc: nathan#I feel so bad for nathan#Even if I’m the one who did this TwT#I’m sorry#Oh my gosh this was a rollercoaster#Even I was crying at a point#My poor boys 🥺#It’ll get better I promise!#Please don’t hate me#thank you for reading#love you guys ❤️
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh you guys i had a Bad Day
#im on vacation but all i’ve done is stress about how i will pay for this#nono i am literally borrowing money from my best friend and i’m feeling so bad about it#i should’ve like. not come#i hate being poor so much#also fuck this country and no one giving me a job this is so messed up#ok i’m done complaining#and i’m going to be indebted to my friends who are paying#and i’m literally gonna feel this for the next two months probably#haha i love being abroad and doing exchanges in expensive countries#the thing is i wanna experience the most i can while i’m here#but oh my godddd#also my parents were like oh yeah sure we’re gonna support you#and they are! but oh my god i feel so bad about it and asking for money for a VACATION?????????#also my mom makes me feel so bad about it#my dad is chiller#but no yeah i passed the whole day fucking anguishing about my debts#anyone wanna donate??? haha#ok sorry for this#rambles
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE MILFS ARE FIIIIIIIIIGHTINGGGGGGGGGG
#feh#and. sothis#i feel legally obligated to join henriette's team obviously#and you know as far as moms go henriette isn't bad! just a bit absent (obvs due to the nature of her position)#but also something that has always stuck w me about her is ..... there is something off. about her.#like i don't think she's a bad person or even a bad mom. she just seems like. she's hiding something.#i have always been equally put off and intrigued by her.#LIKE. OKAY ANOTHER THOUGHT i think i've voiced before but when sharena comes off as 'fake nice'#it doesn't FEEL fake. it feels overplayed and forced but it's so geniune actually. she is just fighting for her life#to pass a social interaction and make a new friend#meanwhile henriette's 'fake nice' feels like. she knows something all of us don't. she knows something that died w gustav.#she has always felt. foreboding.#also doesn't help though that i inherently distrust mother figures LMFAOOOOO#LIKE. coin flip between 'oh she's a good mom i'm gonna cry forever now' and setting off my fight or flight response LMFAO#no need to dig into that!#fe henriette#<- just for henriette thoughts
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
The novelisation of the Phantom Menace has made me so incredibly sad, where little Anakin sees an injured Tusken and decides to disobey Watto to sit by the Raider until he wakes up. Anakin has such a deep, loving heart that he was willing to suffer the consequences of disobedience to make sure a Tusken Raider would be safe, a being he was taught all his life were brutal and cruel. And in this chapter, Anakin admits that the only thing that truly scares him, is of losing his mother. That juxtaposition, that note of I will care for this creature to I fear losing my mother, put so much more weight onto AOTC, and of Anakin's rage. He broke, and he lost himself to his rage. When faced with what he did, he rages against the world and his actions, before breaking down into further sobs at the loss of his mother and the actions he made. His worst fear was realised, and he became the monster that everyone claimed the Tuskens to be.
It'll be interesting to read the AOTC novelisation, to see if this scene is ever called back to. I just find it interesting, and further showcases the depths of Anakin's feelings and compassion, as well as the pitfalls that such strong emotions come with. For if you feel compassion and love as deeply as Anakin does, so will you feel the destructive nature of all of your rage. And that, that is Anakin's biggest weakness; he feels too strongly to ever truly control it.
#text_iris#I just love Anakin so much and this novel just makes me scream at how good it is#Anakin Skywalker#Star Wars#The Phantom Menace#Star Wars Meta#Like...I relate to the Feeling Too Strongly 'cos ADHD which has made my rage an overwhelming thing#The amounts of time I've lost myself to my rage are numerous and I understand too well how that can happen#Like. That rage where you just lose all sense of self? Yeah. As a kid I was...a ball of rage#Mellowed out with the years of course but still. It happened. It was real. And Anakin Skywalker as a character made me realise things#Like when I was younger I realised the reason why my rage was like that was due to the fact I felt so strongly#Any emotion I had would just consume me. ANY emotion. And I realised that by looking at Anakin meta#So...yeah. Anyway this novel is killing me with emotions already and I'm only on the seventh chapter#Anyway Anakin never relished his violence against the Tuskens instead he tried to work through what happened#What he did why he did it and HOW because?? He didn't want to he was a Jedi but he also wanted to HURT them for taking his mom#It's COMPLICATED and that's sooo good because it's REALISTIC and PAINFUL#Anakin let his rage consume him! Which is bad! But also human! It's complicated!! He regrets his actions but also not but also he does!!#Aaa so many emotions about this one eldritch lightning rod of a being
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
i genuinely love my mom so much but its also like you are the most confusing person ever
#i dnt wanna overshare cuz i always do that lol but mothers day is coming upp... uh. soon#so i guess im just thinking about her. i genuinely love her so much. as alwayz its hard tho#she is also the funniest woman in the world to me. most people would say shes a horrible person#shes just rough around the edges. idk#one time she pointed at a couple outside and wz like “those two are so ugly; its like they were made for each other!!”#is it bad that i find humor in her meanness? shes just like. so funny to me#her negativity makes me laugh i guess xD#and if shes nice to you she genuinely means it. I think i love my mom a lot bc i see a lot of myself in her#shes very “split up” like me her opinions change all the time and im like. me too!!!#yes she can be fake but i think she genuinely does “flip/switch” a lot the way i do#and i never met anyone else other than my mom who so openly did that yknow#she can love and hate you at the same time. she simutaneously will love animals and hate them. gay ppl. ect#she seems to idk. be really inconsistent and fragmented like me and only now do I see it#i love my mom. i cant help it even with everything thats happened its like how can i not love someone who held me in her jacket#as it snowed outside before school? i cling so hard to that memory#i will be seeing family 2 times this month but i feel quite at peace with it right now#in april i was not thrilled at all but today im feeling some peace
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult
#i feel really bad that im so angry at her and she doesnt even know it#but my entire living situation is making me miserable right now and its her fault#she charges me $50 in rent every week and shes increasing it to $125 a week at the end of the month#the only reason this is happening is because she FORCED ME to drop out and the only other alternative was that i had to work full time + pa#rent.............. but like at my job even if im working 40 hrs a week ill only be making abt $900 a month#so i will barely have anything leftover for myself after rent#and i cannot get a second job bc i frankly can not handle it at all + what hours would i even work#and my mom refuses to understand that the reason i had to drop out is bc i am so depressed and so suicidal and i just dont want to live#she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill#every time i try to talk about my mental health she treats me like im such a burden to her even though i literally never tell her anything#personal anymore bc she just doesnt listen or care#ALSO she FORCED ME to move across the country and transfer schools when i really did not want (hence why i flunked all of my classes bc i d#not care) but like. everything thats wrong in my life rn is bc i do not want ot live where im living and theres no way for me to go back to#texas and also i dont rly wanna live w my dad either#but anyways. this whole situation would be better if my mom was using me paying rent as an actual lesson in adult respinsibility#but it's really just a punishment because i cant function the way she wants me to#and im over it#so fucking over it why am i such a pussy why cant i just die
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
#Moon posting#There's a lot to be said about FF7's themes and Cloud's character arc and how a lot of it ties into toxic masculinity#And like. The scene in VIIR where you play as Aerith when Cloud comes out of the bar in a dress and he's absolutely MORTIFIED by his get up#That fucking out-of-body horror and distress Cloud is going through even though there isn't anything for him to be ashamed of?#How humiliated he felt and how the compliments on how he was looking didn't make him feel any better?#That was me when my mom forced me to wear a skirt to my grandma's funeral back when I was in high school#(The last god forsaken time I wore a fucking skirt) (And even at that point I hadn't worn those things for YEARS)#That scene with Cloud? Yeah. Big ''I'm in this picture and I don't like it''-energy.#So this whole thing of Cloud wanting to live up to a horrible twisted idea of masculinity (a Shinra Soldier(/Sephiroth))#And realizing that he never can but(/and?) doesn't have to. That his masculinity is already good enough. That's wonderful.#Also Cloud is just kinda gender leave me alone#Sure wish I had a PS5 because I sure would like to play Rebirth but I am not dropping 700€ to play a single fucking game#Already feel bad enough about getting a Switch last year just for TOTK#Can't even watch my fave Tubers play it because I wanna experience it on my own too#Woe is me
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
