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onnoffwrites · 14 days

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After recent events, I ended up going back to the beginning to check things, because my first reaction will always be "wtf, this is shit, why would you do this" and my second reaction will always be "okay maybe that was a bit much, maybe he's not THAT bad, maybe has a good reason-

Okay.. that doesn't rly mean anything, maybe she's just worried kaito found something he shouldn't-

Okay.. okay this looks, well maybe he's just leaving some recordings in case kaito found something he shouldn't! It's not like they can hide it forever! The room is part of the house! Kaito lives in the house-

Excuse me... What did .. what did you say...? Wha

What do you mean "designed"?

What??? What do you MEAN "designed to open after 8 years"???

I have been angry since April 12th and I've reached a point where I don't even know what to feel anymore I don't even know what to tell y'all.

Like, wow, omg, movie reveals. Other than family relations, the other thing isn't exactly anything new. We've all read Midnight Crow. We saw Kaitou Corbaeu. We've been in denial until finally reaching acceptance. For me at least. And then we spend a few years bargaining, bc surely there's a good reason kaitos not in the know. That kaito has to be KID. Surely there's a reason? Right?

Right???

At this point we don't even truly know if Jii is in the know and was acting as planned out by the parents or not. Or if he's just like kaito. Tricked, lied to, played for fools. At the very least ginzo doesn't know, so there's that. Not sure how much that would help kaito when he inevitably finds out. Because he will. The fact remains that it's quite suspicious that Jii just so happen to choose to don the KID outfit and become KID to draw out toichis murderers exactly 8 years after toichis death. EXACTLY the same amount of time that was set for that trap door portrait to open to kaito.

There's a lot of implications to think about

#magic kaito #kuroba kaito #kuroba toichi #kuroba chikage #i don't remember jiis name #im still so mad i dont know what to rly do next other than just stew in the feeling #fortunately(???) one of my kinda fucked up fic idea that i scrapped kinda work perfectly with this gaslight gatekeep manipulation ass shit #rambling rambling rambling #rambles #ramblings #also no movie spoiler in tags and replies pls #i know all the spoilers #but i dont want to participate in untagged spoiler discussion on main #just keep it out of this post pls for the sake of people who somehow managed go not see any spoilers yet #im open to yap in dms tho lmao

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letitrainathousandflames · 2 years

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okay i just got two more asks about Nope (2022) and I know the reading comprehension in this website is piss poor, but y'all really did skip my tags on that last ask huh? the one that said

"Don't send me anymore asks about this film, please, I'm trying to forget it"

[ID: a print of tags reading "animal cruelty m/", "animal death m/", "nope (2022) critical" and "dont send me anymore asks about this film pls im trying to forget it"]

The fact that you guys are insisting on bringing up a topic which i specifically mentioned to have caused me a panic attack is beyond me. That said, I'll answer those under the cut for politeness' sake, any following message on this subject will be deleted, as I do not owe anyone to interact with content that is triggering.

Same goes to anyone else btw, no amount of guilt-tripping should force you to talk/see/interact with topics that make you uncomfortable, especially if the other people are damn aware of your discomfort.

Prints of the asks and my responses under the cut, with plenty of spoilers to the movie and mentions of the triggers above, so reader discretion is advised.

Also, before you decide to call me a "racist white woman" for disliking a black-led movie (like someone whose ask i'm not replying did), remember that a) people are allowed not to like things and b) i'm a brown latina of Black and Native descent so maybe stop assuming everyone is white for two minutes bc thats, honestly, is racist.

oh, and just one more thing:

DON'T SEND ME MORE ASKS ABOUT THIS MOVIE

The animal abuse is in the fact that the horses were consistently used as bait by Jupe. Also, OJ dismounts in order to survive by sacrificing his horse to the creature. Furthermore, and this is only my interpretation at this point, OJ states that any creature with a spirit can be broken, which left me wondering whether he and his father were cruel to their horses while taming them.

I've read a lot on the traditional and horrific way people beat horses to tame them, and while I do hope the character took a humane, kind approach, we can't be sure, and that line didn't sit well with me. The animals also get injured and eaten, which i consider also animal cruelty, with the plot to blame for it, but still.

To give a different example, in Secret Window [spoiler], a dog is cruelly killed off-camera before the owner finds it stabbed and dead. I list that as animal cruelty, even if it's off screen, because an animal is harmed and suffers in the story.

that distinction is important though: i'm not at ALL accusing Peele or the crew of abusing the animals. I'm saying that it is a story full of animal abuse. And for me, an animal lover, to sit through a movie like that and enjoy it, the story would have to be damn goo - which, unfortunately, it wasn't.

the amount of bad movies that got explained away by a scoff and a "oh, you don't get it" is staggering. I'm giving my personal view based on my lifetime of personal experiences and media consumption, and my personal opinion is - it's a bad movie.

It's too long, it's pace is clunky, the characters lack personality (not the actors' fault), the chimp subplot being practically a copy-paste of a real life incident from which the victim is still traumatized and disfigured, the use of animals as disposable tools, the plot holes, the lack of sibling dynamic between the characters, the completely open end, it all lead to me wishing i had stayed home painting my toenails.

Films can be deep. They can be layered. They can have hidden meanings, connections left for the viewer to make, etc. But if they intend to be like that, they have to be a puzzle of which some corners and a few pieces are already in place so that you can think and fit the others in place your own way.

They can't just dump the pieces all over you and say "now, make some sense out of this."

And, again, I am so appalled over the disrespect of using a story as recent as 2009 as a scary plot point for an extremely gorey scene. Peele could've come up with an animal-related tragedy of his own, but instead he chose to copy a horrifying true story, without even disguising it with the constant nods at Oprah's name.

Like, at the end of the day, this is my opinion. I found it bad. Poorly written and lazy. I have the right to this opinion as much as you have a right to yours. But you don't get to call me ignorant or anything just because i didn't enjoy a movie you think is deep.

Because honestly, to me, it's shallow and dull, and a waste of all the effort I made not to leave the theater for those two hours and sixteen minutes that i'm never getting back.

#nope (2022) critical #animal cruelty m/#animal death m/#STOP. TALKING TO ME. ABOUT THIS SHITSHOW.#you can block anonymous askers' IPs on tumblr and by god i'm gonna start blocking y'alls asses #long post/

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thisisthehardestthing · 3 years

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wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:

this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.

okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.

with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.

okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.

speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.

also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.

oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.

hello anon <3

It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.

Fic Spoilers below the cut.

everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.

Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read.

details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.

ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.

i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.

fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.

the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.

kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!

thank you again for the pacing comment <3

i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment

hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.

i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly

ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.

To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.

So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x

Thank you.

Spasiba x

#spasiba #claudia rambles #toska asks #fic spoilers #spoiler #i love you so much #thank you

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galaxietm · 4 years

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hey ya’ll! here’s some big ol blog updates!

- MUSE PAGES + MOBILE FRIENDLY MUSE LIST HAS BEEN UPDATED! (oc page / fandom muses page / mobile friendly muse list.) - MUSE INTEREST SHEET has been updated to match new muses! Feel free to fill this out if you haven’t before, but it’s not required! - BLOG HEADER & DASH ICON have also been updated! - gonna start slowly revamping the rules page! i’ll make a post when that’s done since it’s a project i’ve been slowly working on. until the post is made, the current rules are still active, so no worries! don’t worry about having to reread them yet. - i plan to make a page for my main’s / exclusives! but not yet; it’s taking some time. i’ll make a post when this page is added as well! - i have another wave of muses i’m planning to add, but it’ll be a bit until i add them! i want to get more added to the current muses popups & get those & their tags more complete first. - i have this below the read more as well but with reasons as to why, but all 3 test muses have been removed.

Full Muse List Updates under the cut ! Feel free to skip here if you want to! This is just in case if anyone is curious as to which muses i dropped / who all is picked up, etc. ALSO GENERAL UPDATES / THINGS IM CONSIDERING are under the cut as well. not required to read, but things i’m mostly unsure about includin in the updates part!

MUSE REMOVALS:

- reiko kanazuki (oura.n high school host club) - talia strand (breath of the wi.ld oc) - aria davidson (sta.rdew valley oc) - akiko saito (bn.ha oc)

MUSE ADDITIONS:

- fred jon.es (scoob! based; original scooby movies inspired) - kasumi / sumire yoshizaw.a (persona 5: r0yal / picking her up again u,u) *NOT SPOILER FREE* - sparrow lee (fandomless oc) - vera ober.lin (monster pr0m) / canon divergent. - merlin (red shoes and the seven dwarfs)

GENERAL UPDATES:

- all 3 test muses have been removed. partially because of lack of interest but i might seriously consider picking them up as full muses later. - some popups now have more info / are now available. - various relationships have been added to various popups (im still slowly working on adding muses relationships so pls dont worry if ur muse isn’t there yet!!) - slightly unrelated, but i’m still working on my general fandom positivity blog since i recently had to remake all the resources i had for it before, so little by little it’s coming together! - i might finally put out a permanent starter call! i’m currently undecided on this. - i might consider putting out individual relationship calls for some of my muses? i’m not sure though. any opinions on this would be nice!

i’ve been debating moving @makescoffee to this blog??? like as much as i love noah, i haven’t been on her blog in months, and i lowkey miss writing her and would love to write her more.

i also am considering moving all oc’s to their own page as well, but having them separated by fandom / fandomless / request only, etc. this is a big maybe, since it’ll involve me having to remake graphics for the current fandom-specific oc’s and making sure if any of the current ships i might have with those muses still would like to ship.

That’s all for now!! I guess if you’ve read all this then reply to this post with how your day has been so far or any opinions you might have on this!! how your days are going is just as good! I hope all of you are doing well ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

#// me? finally posting this after debating it for an hour? yes #// i've been helping my roommate off and on with working on the garage #// bc she's been wanting to turn it into a craft space #// and hangout zone #// so i've been here and there lol #// also slowly watching more cake wars + rewatching more dann.y phant0m #// bc im in that mood for it today #;; ‘the nerd speaketh’ ( ooc tag.)#;; ‘lol bye’ ( tbd tag.)

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dawnquafam · 5 years

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So, I’ve had a decently thorough tagging system for IW deaths since the movie dropped in HD way back when. Now that Endgame is out and the spoiler ban is over and the dust deaths have been reversed, I want to revise that. I see 3 options:

1) Continue the thorough tagging system (deadly iw, dust (gif), iw death (gif))

2) Keep specially tagging IW deaths (both dusty and non-dusty), but only as deadly iw

3) Stop the special tags entirely, but all deaths would fall under my generic explicit mcd tag

I’d prefer 3 or 2, but I know I was asked to tag those deaths for a reason, so pls either reply to this post or send in an ask with your opinions! Suggestions are also welcome!

#to my followers #mcu

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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years

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RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"

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