#also this might seem like a harold hate blog.

[day8423]

the idea of fiona being cursed randomly (us as the audience never discovering a reason this unknown witch put a spell on her), has always been so interesting to me. multiple times i've considered diving into writing a backstory, why she was cursed, why this witch decided fiona was destined for true loves kiss. i actually do have a whole load of headcanons and metas stored in the back of my brain, which in actuality would flesh it out and grant a reason why. but i have never put them to paper, nor will i ever, because i kinda love that we don’t know? (yeah it was probably just the writers once again belittling fiona over her male counterparts and deciding their stories were more important… but i ain’t gonna rant about that right now.) it aligns with good vs evil, the stereotypes that these films portray. fiona’s been raised on very straight forward beliefs that put her in that tower in the first place.

we never know what the witch’s motive was: was she plain evil, or was something else planned down the line? either way, far far away proved itself tenfold as a stick to the book kind of kingdom, keeping in line with all stereotypes and never drifting too far from fated paths. in fiona being cursed, harold immediately grew concerned regarding the stray of expectancy, and did everything in his power to get his daughter, his kingdom, and his own happily ever after back on track. rather than seeing how things might play out, he went to a well-known solution and beloved story: a fair maiden locked away in a tower. not actually knowing why the witch cursed fiona, ultimately reinforces the notion that far far away is a very closed minded kingdom (at least where the king is concerned, despite his own backstory). however all this unwillingly places fiona into the role of a princess like no other, the first strike of independence. she steps out of her destined pages, and rewrites her own story. and along that road, changes the entire mindset of those in higher positions in far far away. she gives lesser respected creatures a voice, advocates that being different is okay, and not only beautiful people deserve a happy ending.

i have also loved the idea that it could have been fairy godmother that cursed fiona as a little girl, under disguise as a haggard witch, in order to assure her sons place in far far away when both children grew up. then, she presented herself under a guise of goodwill, promoting this plan of locking fiona away in a tower for her own safety and security, setting the wheels in motion from the beginning. lillian and harold were so desperate for help, and she took that vulnerability for granted. which all this was not difficult given harold’s debt to her; she knew he would listen lest he risk himself and his position. (i genuinely don’t think lillian had much say in all this, but that is a rant for another time!) she waited until fiona was old enough, rather than cursing her as a baby. ‘when i was a little girl a witch cast a spell on me.’ old enough to know how to act and behave as a member of royalty, but still young enough to be moulded and naïve regarding some aspects of the world. that when she returned with charming, she would lack experience and knowledge of how to truly be a princess, given her isolation and separation from her people. thus, charming and godmother could shape her as they pleased, and gain proper reigns of far far away over carefully planned precision.

either way, cursed by fairy godmother or a random witch, fiona is never going to find out, and eventually she becomes okay with that. for a long time all she wanted to know was why. why her. why was she so different to every other princess out there. never knowing why she was cursed really does just strengthen her mindset because while she struggled with it for such a long time, it shaped her into who she is. there’s no grand backstory, she has nothing to truly blame, no one to seek revenge upon; she just needs to deal with it. furthermore, because it was random and seemingly an act of unjustified cruelty, it allowed fiona to break herself free from feeling like a victim, and get out of the tower when she did. it wasn’t destiny that cursed her, it wasn’t set in stone, her life wasn’t meant to exist in a lonely tower. if her parents had said from the beginning that it was supposed to be her story, those three stages (cursed, tower, rescue) then she would have been crafted to live like that. it would have been expected. alas, it wasn’t any kind of fate, so she really just gave a big middle finger to feeling like a victim, and took her story into her own hands!!

#ii. every princess is a beauty / every dragon must be cruel : study. #long post / #also this might seem like a harold hate blog. #(kinda is) #i DO think he loved his family a hell of a lot. #and genuinely thought he was doing what was best for fiona at the time. #but his mindset would have been VERY different if he wasn’t so scared of risking his own position and happy ending. #he’s just a weakling lbr. #also all this really is taking from my own interpretation rather than anything canon with shrek. #i probably shouldn’t need to reinforce that but like. #shrek is NOT canon here. <3 #unless specifically stated. #fiona runs her own world thank u very much!! #but yeah just the curse is so interesting to me!!! #the fact that there is legit no backstory when there could be an amazing one! #fiona being cursed really was the best thing that ever happened to her mkay. #after like... #twenty five years or so she comes to realise that rifp. #the irony in the fact that fiona’s curse was not destiny. it was random. and as such allowed her to break free from the shackles #of those emotional and physical restraints and become who she is. #but if it WAS destiny then she would have remained the dutiful princess because it was apparently who she was supposed to become. #she wouldn’t have questioned it. #i am overthinking this i know but. #i just LOVE that we don’t have a backstory. #i think it makes it way more intriguing.

[mst3kproject]

The Devil Bat

Two #fuck this movie entries in a row? Yikes.  Time for something fun.  Here we have Bela Lugosi and a fake bat on a string, in a movie brought to us by the Producers Releasing Corporation, who also gave us the classic I Accuse my Parents.  It’s a bad movie masterpiece all on its own, and Joel and the bots could only have made it better.

As the opening card informs us, Paul Carruthers is the kindly local doctor in the village of Heathville… kinda like how Harold Shipton was the kindly local doctor in Hyde.  In between tending to his patients, Dr. Carruthers has been carrying on twisted experiments in his secret laboratory.  Electrical stimulation has allowed his pet bats to grow to the size of geese, which is certainly impressive but doesn’t seem very useful until the doctor’s business partner Mr. Heath inadvertently insults him.  Seeking revenge, Carruthers trains the bats to attack anything with a particular scent, and then sends that scent to his enemies in the form of a shaving lotion!  Can ace reporter Johnny Layton find the truth about the ‘Devil Bat’ before the entire Heath family is destroyed?

This movie was like a nice sorbet after the two course rotisserie turd that was Curse of Bigfoot and Sorority Girl.  It has everything I want out of a lousy old horror movie: bad actors, a ridiculous plot, and hilariously shoddy effects, all dished out so earnestly that you can’t help but love the result.

It’s a fairly guilt-free pleasure, too, because I’m pretty sure no bats were harmed in the making of this movie.  There’s a couple of close-up shots of a live flying fox, but almost all the bats we see are silly stiff props that don’t even deserve to be dignified with the label puppet.  Dr. Carruthers carries these around dangling from coat hangers.  In order to make them grow he just hooks them up to a battery with alligator clips, then puts some goggles on and watches.  We see the stupid fake bat getting electrocuted, then cut to Carruthers watching, then cut back to a slightly larger fake bat getting electrocuted.

When the bat attacks, it dangles from a string (shaken slightly to make it ‘flap’) and swoops down to sink its fangs into people’s necks!  This prop does double-duty, since it also appears to serve as the fake bat the reporters rig up to get pictures of.  It’s the sort of monster you see Maciste fight half a dozen of when he visits the underworld.  The movie’s best bat moment, however, is the cardboard cutout that passes by to cast its shadow over the lurid newspaper headlines.  I can’t even describe how hilarious this is.

Bela Lugosi is in excellent mad scientist form, grinning and gloating and giving his all in a movie that really doesn’t deserve it. Everybody else is very bland, both the actors and their characters, but it doesn’t matter because they’re frankly not important.  The audience is here to watch this stupid fake bat kill people at Bela’s orders, and the other characters don’t need to do anything but scream really loud as they die. The film-makers know this, too, because they devote the bare minimum of time to things other than Bela and the bat.  The story speeds through all the plot stuff as efficiently as it can, so it’ll have time to linger on the mad science, crazed monologues, and stupid effects we came here for.

In some movies this might make Layton into a Hero Who Doesn’t Do Anything, but surprisingly, The Devil Bat avoids that pitfall.  Layton and McGuire aren’t exactly likable heroes and their supposedly humourous antics are never funny, but they continue to actively pursue the mystery even after they’ve technically lost their jobs over their pictures of a faker bat, apparently out of active concern for the people the bat is menacing.  Layton follows the clues back to Carruthers in a reasonably sensible fashion, and even has the presence of mind to react to the devil bats by shooting at them rather than standing around yelling!  His motivations for this are slightly selfish, in that he wants his job back and is in love with Mary Heath (what she sees in him is a mystery), but he definitely doesn’t just blunder through it like the reporter from The Mad Monster.

At the end, Carruthers is destroyed by his own creation when the Devil Bat turns on its master, as is inevitable for any mad scientist movie.  Even this doesn’t leave Layton out of the action, though – Layton came to Carruthers with his theory that the bats are attracted to the aftershave, and puts it on himself in order to lure them… then splashes some on Carruthers, too.  In the finale, then, they are both in equal danger. Layton is an active character rather than a reactive one, which seems to be something very difficult to do in movies like this that tend to focus on the villain.  So props for that.

There’s also some good fun to be enjoyed in Carruthers’ behaviour throughout the movie.  The impression we get of Mr. Heath and his friend Mr. Morton is that they’re grateful for Carruthers’ help and would happily give him more money if he asked for it.  It just never occurs to him to ask for it – he’d rather go straight into mad science revenge mode.  When you note that he started creating giant bats well before his beef with Mr. Heath, it seems like Carruthers has just been waiting for an excuse to send his pets off to kill people.  There’s also the fact that he’s very careful not to get any of his lotion on himself, to the point of throwing away a jacket that has become contaminated with the stuff… but on more than one occasion he shakes hands with somebody who’s just been applying it and then doesn’t wash afterwards.  He ought to have bats gnawing on his fingertips.

I was a bit surprised to realize that this is only the second bat-centric movie I’ve watched for this blog.  The other was, of course, It Lives by Night.  I was annoyed by the way It Lives by Night presented bats as bloodthirsty little monsters, but for some reason I didn’t have the same problem with The Devil Bat.  I gave that some thought, and decided there were two reasons for it.  The first is just that The Devil Bat spends less time tormenting actual bats.  The Devil Bat itself is very clearly fake, and while a fruit bat of some sort does appear in a couple of close-up shots, it doesn’t look like it’s having nearly such a bad day as the bats from It Lives by Night.

The second, more important reason, is that The Devil Bat gives us some kind of justification for the bat’s behaviour. Carruthers created this animal specifically to be the instrument of his revenge.  It attacks because it’s been taught to hate the scent of the shaving lotion. It Lives by Night does nothing similar, and seems to want to suggest that bats are just naturally murderous.  That’s bad press that these already much-maligned creatures don’t need.

(Bats’ ability to carry nine hundred horrible diseases and not get sick is, by the way, yet another of their amazing superpowers. SciShow on YouTube recently did a video on this if you’re curious.)

Of course The Devil Bat does have its annoyances.  Layton and McGuire are meant to be comic relief as well as heroes, and they’re about as funny as most comic relief reporters in terrible old movies.  They never quite descend to the level of Watney or Dropo but they don’t reach any heights, either.  Each of them also gets a very perfunctory love story that contributes nothing to the plot, with Layton falling in love with Mary Heath and McGuire with her French maid (yes, a literal French maid) Maxine.  So little time is devoted to these subplots that one wonders why the film-makers bothered including them.  The only reason I can think of is that even with them the movie’s only sixty-eight minutes long.

I probably could say something about The Devil Bat’s gender politics if I wanted.  The Heath family has made their fortune in cosmetics and yet there’s a bit where the newspaper editor seems to ridicule women for ‘all that goo they put on their faces’.  I’m honestly not sure it’s worth the effort, though.  I mean, it’s a movie about a giant bat on a string killing people because it doesn’t like their cologne.

Likewise, there may be some sort of commentary happening in the subplot about the reporters losing their jobs.  They really want to get the real story but they also really need to have something to show their bosses in the meantime, and it’s the latter that drives them to stunts like their even faker bat-on-a-string.  Or maybe something could be made of the thing with Mr. Heath underpaying Dr. Carruthers.  The cheque he sends him is for five thousand dollars, which was, as Joel and the Bots enjoyed saying, a lot of money back now.  The movie seems to feel that Mr. Heath was more than generous… but again, is it really worth taking The Devil Bat that seriously?

That’s as good a sum-up as any of The Devil Bat, really… it’s not meant to be thought about and I, for one, am not going to waste my time doing so.  Not when I can revel in the sight of that stiff fake bat on a string being swung into victims’ necks.  All the film-makers wanted was for us to watch and smile for an hour or so, and that’s exactly what you will do if you look The Devil Bat up on YouTube, where it is freely available in the public domain.  Enjoy!

#mst3k #reviews #the devil bat #episodes that never were #40s #magic voice recommends

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

#half valid anon

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 31st October 2019

- well that was boring

- First of all...not nearly enough Aaron and no Seb even though they talked about him a lot. 

- Good on Seb for having like 3 cars by now though. He really is Robert and Aaron’s son. However, the fact that we yet again did not get to see Seb in a Halloween costume is a travesty. 

- Since I’ve seen the anons on my dash already, I don’t know how I feel about the idea of Seb being with Aaron tomorrow for the visit either but I’ll wait and see what the scenes are I guess. I genuinely expect nothing. It really does feel like he’s just already gone and it has since friday of week 42 to be honest. I mean of course I want a final emotional scene and I want him to get a final shot of the episode or something if this is his last one but I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll be annoyed when it doesn’t go well and everyone here hates it but I just sort of expect it to be disappointing and for them to be the E plot even though that’s dumb but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least. I just feel like we had our goodbyes in the woods and that phone call and everything after is really just fuel for Aaron’s story. As much as that’s frustrating from a Robert fan perspective. But we shall see tomorrow. 

- I really hate that Luke is Lee’s brother. I mean obviously the family of a rapist is not inherently evil, see all the conversations surrounding Aaron and Vic’s baby etc but the idea that they might make Vic’s next relationship be with the brother of her rapist after also giving her the baby she always wanted through said rape, it’s just gross and I’m not a fan. But if that’s not where they’re going with it, then I don’t know what the purpose of Luke is. So...

- I do like Vic and Aaron being friendly though. Obviously the spiral is probably going to throw a spanner in that but I miss the friendship they used to have and when Vic isn’t being thrown under the bus for plot purposes, she’s actually a tolerable character and I like her and Aaron being there for each other in this sad sad post Robert world. 

- As for the rest of the episode...ugh

- I mean I like Vinny with the Dingles but I have no clue where they’re trying to go with that. I feel like even if they found out he wasn’t her son, they’d be mad at Mandy for lying, not so much at Vinny who just wants to be part of their family. Although, I didn’t like the way he was looking at Belle. That was creepy. 

- I’m glad that, on screen, Aaron and then Robert were the first people to drink from the Welly because now it’s so overused. And after Lachlan they should really be more discerning with who they let drink from it. 

- The weed story...sigh...I’m glad it’s sort of mostly come to an end aside from telling Nicola and it did bring up some interesting stuff between Jai and Laurel that wasn’t immediately resolved so that has some mild potential. But I’m still just sort of confused by the whole thing and why it has gone on quite so long. And why would you just burn the weed in a barrel to get rid of it??? And then stand over the smoke and breathe it in??? Haha. 

- All the kids were out in this episode again. The Arthur/Archie rivalry reminds me of when Arthur was getting jealous of all of the attention April was getting back in the Laurel/Marlon days. Similar thing with Archie having just lost his mum. Also...hi Dotty...you’re like a real little person now. 

- As for Jacob...like, I’m glad they haven’t totally forgotten about Maya and that he’s still dealing with the after effects of that whole story, but I’m still really mad that they never properly resolved anything with him or had him make any kind of breakthrough. Even if he eventually does have one, it’s way too late. I do think it’s interesting exploring the possibility of a new age appropriate girl liking him though. There’s definitely good potential content there, I’m just still mad they messed up that original ending so badly. 

- I just don’t know what to make of Kerry. She was back sort of being her quirky side character self in this episode and it worked apart from the fact that I’m still thinking about the Frank story and how they’ve done nothing to properly resolve that either. Same thing I felt with Amy and Cain before she left. It just doesn’t work. And Tracy has been MIA along with Vanessa so we haven’t even had them around to know the truth and Charity who does hasn’t been involved with them at all. And I still think the Sharma’s deserve to know the truth. I just really don’t get that story, especially if they never really do anymore with it. 

- And then we have more convoluted backstories from the Home Farm gang! Hooray! I just...it’s so bad. I mean I want them to burn Home Farm to the ground so we never have to deal with these families again but god even the Whites worked slightly better for me. At least they had present day problems that didn’t entirely rely on convoluted off screen backstories. I mean there was some with Lawrence not being Chrissie’s dad but that linked back to Edna and Harold and there was just more there for me that made sense rather than just having Graham be a cryptic robotic exposition machine all the time. First with Joe, Kim owns everything. Then Kim and Graham had some on and off relationship for years despite the fact that they never really seem like they’re together. Then Andrea was suddenly working for Graham. Then Graham is possibly Millie’s father. Then Jamie was the one who got Kim sent to prison. Like...enough. Do something in the present. At least when Kim was taking control of the factory it was in the present. The rest of it is just not good. Not to mention they tried to give Jamie and Kim a little drama today and then she immediately went back on her threats and went to read Millie a story. At least do something with these revelations if you’re going to keep bringing them up. I don’t know. I just don’t get what they think they’re doing with that character group. They all work better outside of Home Farm and with other characters. Stop trying to force it or at least stick to something. Sigh...

- I mean I guess Kim is going to go after Graham now but since it’s all based on practically nothing, I don’t expect it will be very interesting. 

- And Al is such a waste without the Ellis stuff. I don’t know what they’re going to do with him because him just hanging around Kim and becoming sort of the new Graham doesn’t work. I’d much rather they actually had a Kim/Al romance or something but like make it legitimate with real feelings. Something...

- Anyway....I’ll just reiterate that this episode needed way more Aaron.

#belated live blogging #emmerdale

[celiacandsalty]

Kal Penn’s Nuts

Warning: the following blog includes strong language, references to gluten, and excessive whining.

When my brother Jeff got diagnosed with Celiac disease in 2014 (at age 34) I distinctly remember my first thought being something along the lines of, “oh god, that poor bastard.” Not only because many most of the best foods contain gluten, but because I was already imagining the inevitable day when he goes to some business dinner or something and the server mistakes him for one of THOSE people. You know, the people we all roll our eyes at because they claim to have a gluten “sensitivity” or “intolerance,” but we suspect they’re full of shit and make a mental note to mock them at a later date. It’s hard to say why I cared so much about what hypothetical Cheesecake Factory employees in Ohio might think about my brother’s diet but I DID.

(I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but on TV shows now if they want to quickly convey that a character is an annoying douchebag, usually all they have to do is throw in a line where that person orders a gluten free whatever and a vegan something or other. It’s been a “joke” (for lack of a better word) for at least a decade now and for some reason shows no signs of stopping, despite the fact that it is completely unoriginal, unfunny, and hacky. What I’m saying is, gluten free is the new Nickleback.)

Okay, now cut to 2018 when I, following in my brother’s stupid footsteps, also get diagnosed with Celiac disease1 and all those pitying thoughts I never would have verbalized to my poor bastard brother come flooding back, only now they apply to me too and I can hear them all because they’re in my head. I did not take the news well.

Now, it almost goes without saying that it is easier now than ever before to find decent gluten-free food, especially in Portland, Oregon (where I fortunately already happened to live), but I gotta say, it’s a colossal pain in the ass and it still sucks. It sucks that I have to spend so much of my free-time moonlighting as a gluten detective, looking at menus for places I might possibly be invited to eat at someday and reading every word on every food label and trying to get to the bottom of whether miso paste or Werther’s Originals are safe for me to eat.2 It sucks that I don’t even really WANT to go out to eat much anymore because it’s such a stressful experience that I barely enjoy it anways. It sucks that I once enjoyed traveling and now I’ve pretty much written off at least a couple of entire continents (and they were good ones too.) It sucks that I have frequent anxiety dreams about accidentally poisoning myself. It sucks that I only just discovered Shake Shack 6 months before getting diagnosed and now I’ll never again know the joy of a squishy hamburger bun. It sucks that I no longer get to be the easygoing person in a group or at the office who, when asked about dietary restrictions, could proudly say “Nope! I’m fine with whatever (aka I am a very cool and chill person).” I could go on and on, but I’d have to say the thing that actually sucks the most is the whole gluten-as-a-punchline thing because for me it is so terribly unfunny.

A couple of months ago3 I was at the gym, listening to one of my podcasts in which the guests, usually comedians, get a chance to rant for a few minutes on any topic of their choosing. That week, Kal Penn (of Harold & Kumar fame4) was one of the guests and he made the bold choice to rant about GLUTEN. My blood went straight to a solid simmer before he said another word. I considered shutting it off, but I thought to myself, “Easy does it, Jeanne! Maybe it’s not going to be what you think it is.”

Narrator: It was.

Kal Penn went on to say that as a person living with a severe allergy to tree nuts, it makes him very angry that people who claim to have GLUTEN allergies or intolerances are diluting the seriousness of his legitimate food allergy. The main takeaway being that GLUTEN allergies are FAKE and a FAD and they’re a PREFERENCE, unlike Kal Penn’s very real allergy to nuts.

Of course, Kal Penn included the caveat that there is a VERY small percentage of people for whom gluten issues are real, but I feel like that finer point may have been lost in the message of screaming FAKE FAKE FAKE for 3 minutes.5

The annoying thing though, is that Kal Penn is right. It IS a fad. (Especially in LA.) And I HATE that it is. One particularly annoying thing about this is that restaurants are catching on and more and more GF items items are popping up on menus everywhere. Unfortunately, they are often actually GF, unless you have Celiac disease, which makes my gluten detective job much harder.6

Now I don’t doubt that living with a nut allergy is hard. And I imagine that Kal Penn and I actually have a lot in common when it comes to anxieties and frustrations around food and eating out. I know that I shouldn’t say that I’m jealous of Kal Penn and his nut allergy, but in a way I am. Yes, I’m sure it is terrifying to go into anaphylactic shock and have to be rushed to the hospital, but on the bright side, at least people don’t think you’re a douchebag liar!

Speaking of being rushed to the hospital, here’s the funny story about how I found out that I can’t eat gluten. A little over a year ago, I ended up in the emergency room after dramatically collapsing in my apartment and completely losing all feeling in the entire left side of my body. After getting an MRI (and some other very expensive tests), I was informed that there were several areas of stroke in my 34-year-old brain.7

I spent 3 days in the neurology unit with puzzled doctors coming in every hour to scratch their heads and look at me with great concern. I didn’t find out for another full week that all of this was a result of undiagnosed Celiac disease. Apparently though I was asymptomatic in terms of gastrointestinal issues (very common in adults), I had become so severely anemic8 that I literally almost died. Malnutrition and malabsorption are common symptoms of Celiac, and at this point my hemoglobin was so critically low that I required a blood transfusion and 2 IV iron infusions.

Ok, so cool story, I know, but is stroke and near-death a common effect of eating gluten? Nope! I don’t think so!

So what’s my point? Fuck, I don’t even remember now. But I guess what I’m saying is...we all know the people Kal Penn is talking about. And I spend way too much of my mental energy worrying that when I tell someone I can’t have gluten9, they might, for example, still serve me a salad that they accidentally put the croutons on and then tried to pick them off but missed a few because they probably assume I’m just another asshole doing the Whole 30.10  

So, Kal Penn, believe me when I say that I am with you on the issue of THOSE people. But continuing to rail against them and their possibly exaggerated gluten sensitivities does nothing to stop them. (I suspect it might even make them stronger and more annoying.) It does however, continue to reinforce the already widespread belief that gluten is a made-up problem invented in the 2000s, by I don’t know, naturopaths and George Soros probably? And it’s this belief that is actually very dangerous to people like myself and my brother and the millions of other poor bastards with REAL incurable conditions, and, for what it’s worth, one that seems unlikely to change the way we treat someone with a nut allergy. And, last but not least, it is also a belief that occasionally ruins my workout/enjoyment of podcasts.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent.

Oh, but sorry about your nuts, Kal Penn.

----

Cool family, right?? (Also my maternal grandmother had it too and was diagnosed in the 1980s.)

Still unclear

I meant to write this sooner. Fortunately, my New Year’s Resolution was to hold on longer to more grudges.

Among other things, like Obama’s White House?

I was also going to go back and listen to the podcast again to more accurately transcribe his rant, but just thinking about it made my heart hurt. If you want to hear for yourself, it was the November 9, 2019 episode of Lovett Or Leave It.)

Plus the pay sucks.

I think it could still pass for 28.

My blood’s solution to this problem was to produce WAY too many platelets, which I didn’t know and perhaps my blood didn’t know, are what make blood clot.

“Just tell them you have CELIAC.” Well guess what–some of THOSE people are co-opting our magic word too now!

Sorry if you’re doing the Whole 30 and not an asshole.

#celiac disease #kal penn #jon lovett

[smallblanketfort]

as someone who was raised without religion idk much about god. i have ideas on what i believe in but i’m not sure how strongly i back them. what is god to you? how do you even define the word ‘god’? can god be anything as long as he/she/they/it is something you believe in?

long post alert! first know that my belief in god is why i am here. this belief made this blog. this is such a lovely, big question i have been pondering. i am so so honored that you are asking. i think it’s important to remember that faith in god is really what you make of it. in the words of tyler joseph, “Faith is to be awake, and to be awake is for us to think.. you need to try to think.” remember this. your faith is your own to create.

just a note, this post will seem all over the place, but it’s only bc my belief in god is so intertwined with life philosophy and experience. i cannot separate these things.

first, things important to note in your faith journey //  god as a being who loves questions and god as a being not defined by church or politics

as a bit of background, i grew up in christian churches, and i still call myself a christian. as i have gained life experience and developed my own identity, this has allowed me to ask more questions about the Bible and the traditional god.

don’t let questions scare you. questions are a healthy way to explore and get to know such enormous concepts such as the divine. questions get you answers.

don’t let your aggressive stop you. “Is it ever acceptable to be angry at God? I would suggest that it is not only acceptable, it may be one of the hallmarks of a truly religious person. It puts honesty ahead of flattery.”- Harold S. Kushner

often, churches may shoot down questions, but this is a hierarchal system speaking, not god. churches are made of people. they don’t speak for god, and i really need you to remember this. you don’t have to subscribe to everything a church says. question everything. the bible is absolutely full of people questioning and doubting and being angry with god- which is part of why i believe in it. it’s raw humanness, and it is okay. listen to cataracts by levi the poet, or at least the track big business. alternatively: “Every day I am afraid that he [Jesus] died for nothing because he is buried in our churches, because we have betrayed his revolution in our obedience to and fear of the authorities.”— excerpt from “A Radical Christian Creed” by Dorothee Soelle

god and genderso to begin, i recently tweeted about god being… gender queer, or simply without gender. the bible generally uses masc pronouns and titles like father, but i believe that an unlimited god cannot be constrained into human constructs. if we are all made in god’s image, god is not strictly male. to say god can only be male is to place societal, human constraint on the devine. the characteristics to describe the divine biblical “father” arent reserved for male in our society. god isnt human. i am getting into the practice of saying “the divine” or “they” pronouns to describe god. anyway- i do believe in the trinity (god, son, holy spirit, more on this towards the bottom) so they is absolutely a christian term.

god and love and evili believe god is a loving, creating force. i often hear people asking “why does god allow this” and frankly, i can’t relate. if i believe in a good force, i have to believe in an evil force as well. if i believe in good and evil, i have to also believe they are at odds, fighting a spiritual warfare. i also hate the phrase “it happens for a reason.” sure, maybe. but your tragedy is tragedy. your chaos/trauma/pain is chaos/trauma/pain, not a lesson by default. however, since i do believe god is a loving, creating force, i believe that god can find something good to give you out of everything. perhaps we might not discover this good for years, or maybe the good will be something that you don’t experience, but, for example, perhaps telling your story saves someone else.

everything good as an echo to the divinealong with that, i believe everything good in the world is created by god, and thus an extension / connection to the divine. this helps me overcome depression and anxiety. i can wake up every day and say, wow, look at all this faith entertained: the sky and its clouds. leaves. the way milky chai tastes. music somehow exists and transcends space and time?? people love hugs? animals like pats? science!! sweaters are dope, they change our body temperature. the fuel that keeps us going tastes good??? what even is taste? can you believe color is just light unabsorbed? incredible. thank you.this type of gratitude is indeed a practice, something to work on daily. it’s not always easy. i don’t want to act like it’s an easy cure to mental illness. it’s a practice that def helps me tho.

including all peoplewhich extends towards people. i love the phrase namaste: the divine light in me recognizes and honors the divine light in you. suddenly, everyone is valuable. everyone is created. everyone is experiencing the world. it makes kindness much easier. this is why i don’t understand most phobias… how can one say a divine creator didn’t mean to create different flavors of love?! it’s beautiful.

let me say that again: all peoplei want to get this straight, esp w our… political climate. this post say it better than i can: the immigrant apostle creed and the litany for the dreamers. i also think it’s interesting to remember that many native americans believe that trans people are closer to the divine, bc of points i made earlier- god can’t really be boxed into a gender. also, i believe in a feminist jesus that was a child refugee and a homeless man who experienced suicidal thoughts and anxiety. (i’ll try to link references when i get home)

other religions and my godi study a lot of buddhism and other religions. i like to understand things. i love buddhism, and i believe it, but i think that having faith in this god offers depth and purpose. where buddhism empties, yeshua, the christian jesus, fills. it’s service to ease the pain of the earth, out of love. that’s it.

faith as movementwhich is also to say, yes, shitty people exist, and i can easily become so. it’s an uphill battle, but i like to view living as becoming closer to the person i was created to be. as we live, we have all these sides giving us input, shaping us. what we believe shifts who we are. we need to be selective as to which voices we are buying into. are these voices bringing us closer to the loving, whole person we are created to be?

god as a forgiving figurei believe god is forgiving. again, i believe in an evil force too, but i believe that god’s doors stay open. this isn’t an end. 

everything is a gift / god in everythingwhich brings it full circle. i believe god’s hand is in all the beautiful things. the giggly groupchats and sleep overs. the gasps of surprised joy and the dark chocolate. love love love love so many types of love. comfy beds. so much can be a religious experience.

further reading, from twenty one pilots to tags to the message-

i encourage you to also take a peek at my thread on coping mechanisms in twenty one pilots’ discography. it’s extremely difficult for me to separate top from my faith.

as for the trinity… just as i have different facets (daughter, friend, lover, coworker, etc) i believe that god can have different facets as well- the divine figure who is all knowing, the figure who has experiences humanness, and the spirit that comes closer, inhibiting the rest. tbr, i don’t find this concept extremely important. it’s all god to me, whatever.

again, thank you so so much for giving me space to talk about this. it’s so generous and kind and open of you. i am genuinely honored. it’s something that is very engrained into the way i see the world, tho i know i do not speak of it often. it’s difficult for me to find the vocabulary for something that is so based on feeling and experience for me.

if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! i’d really love the dialogue.

if you want a jumping off place for what i believe, the message bible is really cool. you can read it in book form from your library, or online for free. start at luke, or matthew/mark/john- just any of the four books about jesus. read the words, not what you’ve heard in politics or church. i can’t stress this enough. the more i read, the less i see a connection between these institutions.

i also have a faith tag on my personal blog. you can get a feel for what i believe here.

i hope that was vaguely interesting to someone :)) again feel free to ask any questions 

xxx you are loved for who you are and the true you you are becoming

#anon #faith

[bonpourlorient]

I Hate Your Method: A Few Thoughts on Case Studies and Theory

I’ve always hated the language of case studies. Having done half of a PhD in political science I’ve had to endure a lot of articles discussing the qualitative case study and its relation to theory development, all with the obligatory reference to E.P. Thompson’s The Making of the English Working Class. Having to write my own proposal soon, I’ve had to ask my self; what the hell is a case study? In social scientific research case studies are defined broadly as “an intensive study of a single unit with an aim to generalize across a larger set of units.” This definition assumes that the “units” in question are commensurable and comparable, that there are “units” out there waiting to be analyzed. This sort of thinking about the world as made up of commensurable units is tied up within a colonial imaginary. As Timothy Mitchell put it: 

“Colonialism opened up a distance, a space of separation, a relationship of curiosity, that made it possible to see something as “a case,” a self-contained object whose “problems” could be measured, analyzed, and addressed by a form of knowledge that appears to stand outside the object and grasp it in its entirety.”

(Putting my academic hat on for a side note: the social scientific language around “case studies” has a special historical relation to “Turkey.” In her book “Hotels and Highways” Begüm Adalet demonstrates how cold war scholars of communication, such as Daniel Lerner, Wilbur Schramm and Harold Laswell,  drew on extensive survey research in rural Turkey to theorize what “modernization” was supposed to looked like. In the process, they also helped shape economic policy within and towards this geography, making "Turkey” graspable not only as an object of social scientific knowledge, but moreover transforming the country into a laboratory over which policy experiments can be carried out. While research on Turkey doesn’t have to deal with the effects of a European colonial apparatus formally occupying the country for a significant time -as Mitchell does- it is just as implicated in the epistemological frameworks described by Mitchell.)

While the humanities aren’t as obsessed with methodology as the social sciences, they’ve nonetheless imported the language of cases. Thus it is often possible to read in humanities, articles or books ending with the phrase “: the case of Turkey” attached to the end of a theoretical problem. “Turkey” in this imaginary is a self-contained object made commensurable and comparable to other nation-states. Media studies too divides its objects into comparable “units” but these units are often specific technical objects; radio, television, algorithms, typewriters, loudspeakers etc. Yet when these “units” are placed in places outside of Europe and North America they suddenly require a supplement; “radio in China,” “typewriters in India,” “loudspeakers in Turkey,” “algorithms in Egypt.” Ani Maitra and Rey Chow have an excellent chapter, questioning precisely what the function of this “in” is. I also defer to Tom Lamarre’s “platformativity” piece.

Yet recently, I’ve been really curious about the imagined division of labor this mode of, thinking through case studies, accomplishes, especially in media studies. It seems to me like the imagined division of labor is between those people who are completely fascinated by an object, an encounter, a case and others who are more invested in grand theorizing. So how do a bundle of relations become a “case”? I think the answer overturns people’s usual complaints about theory. Theory is most often criticized, for playing what Haraway has named “the god trick,” attempting to provide a narrative of the world that is universal, what she describes as “the view from nowhere.” Yet the model of the “case study” or what I think should be called “en-case-ment” is equally pernicious. It operates not from the ivory tower of theory but rather through confining the horizon of our thought to the miserable open offices academia, divided by the glass doors and partition walls of professionalization. As Deleuze and Guattari well knew any technocaracy operates not only by pyramidal hierarchy but also by horizontal segmentation. The offices of the contemporary academic maybe just “as much at the end of the hall as on top of the tower.” The distinguishing move of the professional academic, then, is en-case-ment. It is sanitary, methodological even scientific! It is no longer interested in bringing the world to confess its truth through the imperial grandeur of theory. Rather it proceeds by predetermining what abstractions are allowed to approach from any given “case” in the first place. If you’re writing about South East Asia, you ought to write about the novel and nationalism. If you’re studying the Middle East, you ought to write about Islam and religion. If you’re studying North America, you can write about anything from decolonization, to the Anthropocene, to this obscure technology that certain white engineers at Boston found fascinating in the 1950s. 

The problem, then, is not that case studies cultivate contextualized perspectives or situated knowledges but rather that the range of real abstractions that are allowed to emerge from any given case are contained and suppressed. This containment takes place not according to the distribution of phenomena in the world, but rather the division of expertise and resources in academia. In practical terms for international humanities scholars carrying out research outside North America and Europe, this means we are expected to theorize in particular ways. Most notably, we are expected to use our “cases” to invalidate, modify or “speak back” to a grand theory in another part of the world. Here’s a particular script that such work might perform: XYZ media may have been used in oppressive ways in North America, but “in Turkey” it is re-appropriated towards emancipatory ends. This sort of thing seems to particularly excite scholars in North America, as the political relevance of this or that outdated theory is once again staged, only this time vicariously. 

There’s much more to be said about the case study and how it structures research in the humanities. The “ivory tower” of theory and the “office room” of case studies may not be so opposed. In fact, they may be quite complimentary which makes me feel unsatisfied and confused in terms of what my role is. I remember Lauren Berlant having a subheading in a chapter of “Queen of America Goes to Washington.” The subheading was something like “I hate your archive” where she would explain how her fellow grad students in comp lit departments would tell Berlant about how they loved her analysis of Gramsci or Foucault, but completely hated her archive which, in that book, consists of Simpsons episodes and Forrest Gump. I think I might have a section in my thesis, entitled “I hate your method.”

Anyhow the problem seems to be too big to solve in a blogpost. But at least I got the rant out of me and that’s what blogs are for. There’s another, more specific rant about how people imagine the climate change and the Anthropocene that I’m saving up for another post. 

#academia #method

[hi-n-oops]

Fic Rec #3

New weekend, new fics to read!! 

the pink album by suspendrs  @suspendrs

They don’t really discuss how hard it is to be in this situation, or to be doing the things they have to do to continue being together. It’s just something they don’t talk about, and that’s alright. Or maybe it isn’t, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Or, a love seven years in the making, inspired by Harry's debut album.

**I have been keeping up with this fic for a long time and I will add it ti my ‘canon’ Larry fic rec. Read this, guys. 10 chapters on each of Harry’s songs.

if it's me you're looking for by eleadore @eleadore

Louis has a bad habit of getting drunk before he confesses--or maybe it's the other way around. AU.

**I dunno why I waited so long to read this fic. It was great!

I Don't Wanna Hurt Anymore by offwiththeirheads @hazzabooween

Harry walks a thin line between breaking his best friend’s heart and fighting a losing battle.

**This was so good guys! It is short but powerful!

Never Too Late by dimpled_halo  @dimpled-halo

Harry’s confused for a moment before it hits him: the little boy is signing. Harry squats down to get to the boy’s level again and mirrors the same action.

“Dad?” He inquires. Harry learned basic sign language after having met a fan who was deaf. He made it his mission to learn signing so that he’d be able to communicate with other fellow hearing impaired fans.

The little boy smiles brightly, his tears now long gone. He goes on to extend both hands, palms up as if he’s asking where? Followed by the previous sign which means Dad. Harry smiles to himself at the amazing little guy standing in front of him.

He stands up taking the boy’s hand, “Let’s go find your dad,” he tells him making the motion with his hand.

Just having come out of the closet and recovering from vocal surgery, famous recording artist Harry Styles needs to get away from LA to work on new music needing to prove to his label that his career isn't over. Little does he know that his life is about to change forever when he runs into an old friend at the city he's decided to escape to.

**THIS WAS SO PRECIOUS! OMG i AM IN LOVE WITH KID FICS AND THIS HITS THE SPOT!!! rEAD THIS!!

give me things to stay awake by embodied @crossnecklace

It’s shitty and it’s counterproductive and it’s self-indulgent, but he lets it become a thing. On Saturday nights Harry goes out and gets so pissed he can’t stand, and when the bartender cuts him off he rings Louis and is in his car within an hour. It’s not a cycle he’s proud of, but it’s also something he can’t resist, and he keeps doing it as long as Louis keeps showing up. AU. It's been a year since Louis broke up with Harry.

**This is a break up/getting back together fic. So be ready with those tissues (seriously, you will need them)!!

If It's Meant To Be (It'll Be, It'll Be) by lululawrence @lululawrence

“So, anyway. I’m done here and on my way to the airport. I think I’m expected to be there in the morning, around ten. I’ll let you know when I’m getting close.”

“Sounds good.” Harry pulled back from the window and threw himself onto one of the beds. Once he got comfortable, he steeled himself and then went for it. “It’s been too long this time, Lou,” he finally whispered. He watched as Louis bit his lip and nodded slowly.

“I know,” Louis agreed, just as quiet in return. “We have to swear to never go this long without seeing each other again. Two months is just...unacceptable. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll see you soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah. See you. Be safe,” Harry said, far too fondly for his best friend. He couldn’t help it though. It was how he always had been and probably always would be.

They hung up and Harry threw his arm over his face.

“I am so in love with him,” he whined to himself. “Fuck.”

** This fic was so adorable, guys! MUTUAL PINING!!!

We'll Be Seamless by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee (dinosaursmate) @dinosaursmate

Green reblogged an old photo of himself. It was from back in October, a Halloween special. A pulse shot all the way through Louis because this photo was his absolute favourite, and it had taken the rest of the year for him to wean himself off of it.

Green was on his knees, arms stretched out in front of him with his fingertips digging into the surface of his bed. He was wearing a pair of cat ears on his head, his curls falling forward. His back was arched, and in the foreground of the picture, Green’s bum was high in the air, a long, black cat tail sitting neatly between his cheeks. --- Louis spends all his spare time scrolling arty nude blogs on Tumblr but amongst them all, Green is his favourite.

**I dunno why I did not come across this fic before because it is GOLD! I love tumblr fics and this was so awesome!! (Also, check out the blog this fic is based on...life changing *cough*)

Like a Bullet in the Dark by Vurdoc  @vurdoc

Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway.

With a promise from the press (and his father) that they'll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson.

Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- 'cause Harry has a secret that he's only told his sister Gemma about.

Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own.

A Will & Kate Au- with a twist.

**This is sorta WIP because the author is writing a series. Saying too much about this fic will probably ruin it, so.. just read it!

Take Me To A Dream by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee (dinosaursmate) @dinosaursmate

“Hiya,” Harry said, beaming up at him. “These sandwiches any good?” Words failed Louis, and he felt his shoulders shrug. “They’re fine for, like, eating.” Harry paused, mid-swipe of Louis’ staff discount card. “I don’t use my sandwiches for much else, personally.” Louis sighed to himself, embarrassed. A small smile was playing on Harry’s lips, dimple denting his cheek. God, Louis felt like a bloody idiot. --- There's just something about the new checkout boy that makes Louis lose his cool and act like a complete idiot, which doesn't escape the attention of Liam or Niall. As much as Louis hates embarrassing himself, there's something about Harry that keeps Louis coming back for more.

**Erm... same author twice. But both fics are so different! This is FLUFF!!

i want you so much (but i hate your guts) by becauselarry (WIP) @obviouslybecauselarry

AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can't do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor's certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream.

That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn't seem to like him complicates matters, though.

**I know its WIP but its so good!! And ENEMIES TO LOVERS! Go and read it! 

i'm still learning to love by stylinsonau (WIP)

“Hello there.” Louis crouches in front of the small child, brunette with light sleepy eyes. He smiles fondly. He looks a lot like his father, but with a little less laugh lines, and frowns, and grumpiness.

The child continues to rub at his eyes, clutching at his little shark before he asks, “Are you gonna be my new Dada?”

Harry stiffens.

Or

An au where Harry has almost everything in the world except for the will to move on.

** ANother kid fic! Babysitter Louis! 

I wanna rec so much more. But its getting pretty long. And DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE A KUDOS AND NICE COMMENTS FOR THE AUTHORS!! 

Happy Reading!!!!!!!!

#i feel like i rec wips in hopes #that more readers and kudos and comments will encourage the author so much more #its a nice feeling really! #LARRY STYLINSON #LARRY #LARRY FIC #LARRY FICS #LARRY STYLINSON FIC #LARRY STYLINSON FICS #LARRY FIC REC #LARRY FIC RECS #LARRY STYLINSON FIC REC #LARRY STYLINSON FIC RECS #mine #fic rec #fic recs #enemies to lovers #kid fic #enemies to friends to lovers #break up fic #larry is real #fic #fics #i am so sorry for missing hazzabooween #i overlooked

[amazinghcwkeye]

                        META TALKS;;  CLAIRE && PREGNANCY && SEX

(  OVERALL TRIGGERS FOR childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, mention of a miscarriage, mention of wanting an abortion, sexual harassment and rape. Bad and sexist language is also used. Please tread carefully if any of these things trigger you.  )

First thing first, this is going to get down and dirty and I am not going to mince words. Claire was sexually abused at the orphanage and the circus. Because of this, she developed C-PTSD/PTSD and has complex emotions towards sex and pregnancy. 

** IMPORTANT: Everything has been researched very carefully and some of it is based on my own experiences. Please do not come into my inbox or ims screaming about how I don’t know anything. And yes, well everything in here is a bit dark, it’s something that has been in development for over a few years. This was not spur of the moment, this has been thoughts and headcanons I’ve collected and worked on since starting Claire’s blog originally. If you don’t want to read anything in here, that’s fine. While this headcanon is apart of this blog, not all of this is going to show up in most of the threads, so don’t worry. Also this is part 1/? who knows how many meta talks i’ll be having about Claire.  

I'm really nervous about sharing this but I really want to, so that said, let’s get into this. 

Her first introduction into sex was after their parents died, because despite how horrible Harold Barton was, he sheltered his children (imho) from things like sex and relationship and their mother figured they were too young to even really talk about anything like sex and finding love. So, her first introduction was with the man who did the orphanage’s laundry. He thought she was pretty and she was just terrified and unable to really find a niche in the home and so she looked for places to hide which is where he found her, hiding and he took advantage of her. When her and Barney managed to run, she tried to leave behind the icky feelings that came from what happened to her, but she was never able to really get rid of them. 

Which leads to..

Claire’s first time was with Viktor, the son of the fortune teller at the circus. She was 15 years old and he was 17 and she didn’t love him. But after breaking up with a townie shortly before going on the road again, Viktor offered to take her to a party where they got drunk and slept together in the bedroom of some townie who they didn’t know and honestly, she loved it. Afterwards though, she quietly sobbed in the bathroom, mentally eviscerating herself for sleeping with someone she didn’t love because that meant that the laundry guy was right; she was a whore. 

(of course we know that is a big ass lie) 

After that, Claire got herself another boyfriend, this time a little older (which is very illegal) and focused on trying to ignore the overwhelming feelings of complete dirtiness that came from all her drinking and fucking. He was a townie and believed her when she said she was old enough. After a few weeks, she got sick of him and broke up. But then she realised that she was getting sick in the mornings shortly after and that was the first time Claire got pregnant. At 16, she couldn’t be a parent, she was hardly a functioning adult. But she didn’t want to have an abortion, she was raised in a religious orphanage and thought that it was wrong. 

It didn’t matter though, the strain of training and the violence that she lived with in the circus caused her to miscarry and while she cried daily about it, there was a little part of her that was relieved that she didn’t have to figure out what to do anymore. Her relief lasted shortly though as she realized that with losing the baby, she gained a crippling sleeping problem that made her drink more and act out. She waited a bit to start dating again, she had heard that if you had sex after being pregnant (even if you had a miscarriage) you could risk getting pregnant again and she was too terrified of that. 

Though after a few months of not sleeping unless she was piss drink, Claire went back to dating and sleeping around because the nightmares from when she was younger was scarier than the nightmares of getting pregnant. Her first “boyfriend” after her miscarriage was the Strongman of the circus. He was violent and reminded her of her father and she made sure that no matter how drunk she was, she took the birth control that she had stolen. She refused to end up like her mother: shackled to a man who abused her and her kids. After a few months, she broke it off with him. Sorta. He was not one to take no for an answer so Claire just ignored most of his advances and slept with a knife under the bed. 

(Even if that didn’t protect her all the time) 

After the circus and the relationships that destroyed her understanding of basic relationships, Claire would get drunk and sleep with whoever was nearby. Sometimes, she would sleep with her marks or people who employed her and she occasionally dealt with people who refused her saying no unless she held a gun to their heads. ( unfortunately, more than once she had incidents where she didn’t have a weapon to protect herself and despite her training there are people stronger than her       it’s why she has so many scars on her body ) 

That was until she came across a situation where she felt she had fallen in love with a mark; sure he was wanted for a lot of things ( murder, thievery, being a turncoat, things that claire normally abhorred ) but he valued her opinions and made her feel wanted. Deciding to stay with him for a bit, she lived on the run with him and they decided they were going to start a family. But things weren’t as they seemed and shortly after she got pregnant - whoo boy did that do a huge damage on her mentality - he went missing. Too far along for an abortion, Claire was forced to carry the baby to term. 

Throughout it all, she suffered mentally. Her body changed in a way she didn’t like, she was forced to go into hiding until after she went into labor, she was forced to deal with nightmares every night she was actually able to go to sleep. She wanted to drink, all the time, but she didn’t because she didn’t want to hurt the baby even if she didn’t want it. Claire tried to find him all the time but she couldn’t and by time she actually gave birth, she was severely depressed and ready to end her life. 

Giving birth was the worst part of her life, she hated every second of the event and when she had given birth to the baby, she refused to hold the child. Everyone chalked it up to postpartum depression but Claire knew it was because this child wasn’t going to stay with her. She wasn’t going to risk giving the child up for adoption in a foster system - she had been a victim of it and she refused to do that to a child she didn’t want - but she knew she had to get rid of the kid. 

She spent a year looking and after finding a family that wanted a child (after secretly watching them for that length of time) she left the baby with them, swearing to watch over the child to make sure it was loved and cared for and promising to leave money in their bank account every month to help them. 

Not long after that, Claire was picked up by SHIELD and became an agent. During the beginning she was sent on honeypot missions (not that often but enough that Claire has developed a healthy hatred of trying to seduce someone and now just flirts really bad) and Claire hated every bit of it, and she eventually told her handlers that she refused to do those types of missions anymore because she felt uncomfortable using her body in such a way. Her first handler (before Coulson) didn’t care and told her that she was a weapon to be used how SHIELD wanted because she was a criminal who belonged in prison not working for the government.

Claire bucked it up and continued to do whatever mission that was sent her way. If a few of her missions lead to sexual harassment then she didn't complain. She knew her place - even if she argued with it. By time she finally decided that she had had enough, she was having hard time sleeping, nightmares and just hated working there, and so she decided to approach Fury and tell him to toss her in prison, at least there she had a chance to escape. When asked where all the negative emotions were coming from, Claire explained what was going on and Fury was not happy. 

She got a brand new handler and life at SHIELD got a bit easier to deal with. But there was still some trauma that was not dealt with because even though she was forced to go to aSHIELD therapist, she refused to truly talk about why honeypot missions bugged her and so she didn’t really deal with it. 

Which leads to..

Future relationships with Claire is so low maintenance (even if she does occasionally have problems where she cheats without meaning to) that she honestly just wants to cuddle and not discuss her past relations with her partner. When it comes to kids, oh god does she have problems. She wants them, she really does, but at the same time, she’s still haunted by the child she left behind. Any relationship she would have is a relationship built on trust and love and she’s terrified that finding out that she has a child, that finding out that her entire sexually history is tainted by dark heavy stuff that she’d rather just never explain will destroy any relationship. 

If it ever came to discussing having kids, Claire would probably have an internal freak-out and then, after trying to ignore it for so long, Claire would explain her history of pregnancy and talk about it with them. If she ever got pregnant, she’d deal with it badly by talking with her partner and a lot of communication by hiding it in the beginning, she would be terrified that they’d leave if they found out (because last time she thought she had a forever relationship, it went badly). When it came out, she would be over consumed by feelings and in some situations (if she felt too confined) she might even leave. Eventually she’d just come out and explain that when she was younger she had a child, gave it up and has felt horrible about it for years. She knows that she can’t take it back and she really doesn’t want to, but she would still regret it.

Eventually after much therapy, she would learn that what happen wasn’t her fault and that she is better than what her past was. She would also learn (after taking parenting classes) how to be a better parent. Because while much of her trauma towards children settle deeply from what was done to her and how she reacted towards it, a lot of it still stems from the abuse that was done to her by her father. Honestly, relationships would be hard even if she wasn’t abused, because she would be terrified of ending up like her mother or ending up like her father and not trusting herself not to end up like either of them. 

OTHER THINGS: 

Claire struggles with insecurity due to the abuse she suffered. In a relationship, she struggles with feeling good enough for the other person and she also struggles with drinking during a relationship. She feels like she doesn’t deserve her partner and will show it by either attaching herself to the other person or distancing herself.

#rape tw #child abuse tw #abortion mention tw #miscarriage mention tw #domestic violence tw #unhealthy coping mechanisms mentioned #//Honestly I have to write a entire thing on how claire copes with relationships bc it’s not going to fit here. this has gotten to long. #♛;; lets just dive into the hell that belongs to her backstory and character ❜ misc;; headcanons ❜ #♛;; talking on and on; her mouth moves quickly and her hands even quicker; there's a story to be told and she's telling it ❜ misc;; meta ❜

[swipestream]

Sensor Sweep: David Lindsay, Robots, Hollow City, H. Beam Piper, Jonah Hex

Lit-Crit (Jewish Review of Books): It’s a bit surprising to come across Harold Bloom’s confession that the literary work that has been his greatest obsession is not, say, Hamlet or Henry IV, but a relatively little-known 1920 fantasy novel. After all, Bloom is our most famous bardolater.  When I took an undergraduate class with him at Yale, he announced his trembling bafflement before Shakespeare’s greatness in almost every lecture. In the course of his career, Bloom has named a handful of other literary eminences who compel from him a similar obeisance—Emerson, Milton, Blake, Kafka, and Freud are members in this select club—but one does not find David Lindsay on this list.

  Writing (McSweeneys): I had a whole gaggle of 100-point bucks in my sights, sleeping peacefully on their feet, like cows. The way they were lined up, I could take down the whole clan in a single shot of gun, clean through their magnificent oversized brains. That’d be enough (deer) meat to last Nora and the baby through the harsh Amarillo winter. I shifted my weight in my hidey spot, snapping a twig and pouring more pepper on the fire by muttering, “God dammit all to hell.”

  Gaming (Modiphius): Conan the Brigand is the complete guide to the nomadic brigands of the Hyborian Age, providing the gamemaster and player characters with all the resources to run campaigns that embrace the path of the brigand, or are affected by it. Here within these pages are all the resources needed to bring to life this outlaw world!

New material to expand your Conan campaign, with brigand-themed castes, stories, backgrounds, and equipment, allowing you to create your own unique brigands, nomads, and raiders.

  Science Fiction (Brian Niemeier): The Unz Review shows how the Right all too often rushes to enshrine earlier Leftist subversion simply because it precedes current Leftist subversion.

This time, the subject of misguided right wing hagiography is John W. Campbell, Jr.

Alec Nevala-Lee, an Asian-American science fiction writer, has here written something remarkable: an intentionally PC multi-biography that nevertheless manages to be well-informed and informative, well-written and compulsively readable.

    Science Fiction (Unz.com): Alec Nevala-Lee, an Asian-American science fiction writer,[2] has here written something remarkable: an intentionally PC multi-biography that nevertheless manages to be well-informed and informative, well-written and compulsively readable. It’s the first substantive biography of John W. Campbell, Jr., the man – or, as we’ll see, some would insist on “the white male” – who basically invented modern science fiction; and that last point means that to do so properly, we have to take into account the three men – yes, again, white males – whose writing careers he promoted in order to do it.

  Fiction (DMR Books): The Ivory Trail was Talbot Mundy’s fifth novel and his most widely reviewed book up until that time.  It was serialized in Adventure magazine in early 1919 under the title On the Trail of Tipoo Tib and then published in book form by Bobbs-Merrill later that year.  It received a largely positive reception but was quite different from his previous books in that it was set entirely in East Africa, amid Mundy’s old hunting grounds.

  Tolkien (Pages Unbound): I first picked up Tolkien when I was very young (sometime in elementary school).  Some fantasy had come into my hands—some book or another, or perhaps the original Final Fantasy game on the NES.  My mom said, “You know, if you like that, there is a book you would like . . .”  I’m not even sure if my mom has ever read The Hobbit, which is a testament to its cultural cache.  I did not immediately acquiesce.  I was a pretentious child—before I became a man and put away childish things like the fear of seeming childish—and I initially rebuffed my mom’s efforts.  But a book is a book, and I didn’t have so many laying around in those days, so I didn’t wait long before reading it.

  Science Fiction (G. Scott Huggins): Robots. I have never really understood why there is an obsession with stories about robots. As with fae, I understand the attraction of having robots exist in a story. What I don’t really get is stories about robots. Robots as the reason for the story. Yet many, many people love stories about robots. Isaac Asimov, arguably, built his career on an obsession with robots. I can’t think of any other piece of future technology — with the possible exception of spaceships — that has inspired such a wealth of stories about them. Can you imagine a whole subgenre of SF devoted to, say, laser guns?

  Fiction (Wasteland and Sky): Super powered cop Adam Song has dedicated his life to the law. In the military and the police force, Adam ruthlessly protects the innocent.

But this time he’s killed the wrong bad guy. Now the local drug lord’s son is dead, and the boss is out for Adam’s blood. Even his secret identity won’t keep him safe. The police department hangs him out to dry, his years of exemplary service forgotten. Adam must take justice into his own hands to keep his family safe.

  Fiction (Fiction Fan Blog): When a young lady comes to Sherlock Holmes for advice, what at first seems like an intriguing mystery soon turns into a tale of murderous revenge. Mary Morstan’s father disappeared some years ago, just after he had returned from colonial service. He had been in the Andaman Islands, one of the officers charged with guarding the prisoners held there. A few years after his disappearance, Miss Morstan received a large pearl in the mail, and every year for the six years since then, she has received another.

  Gaming (Walker’s Retreat): Following the whinefest by Fake Game Journalists over Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, Oliver Campbell of the Metro City Boys put together a supercut of how he prevailed over the game. As the saying goes, “The master failed more times than the amateur ever attempts.” That’s what it takes to beat this game: persistence.

Every game of this sort has similar requirements of persistence to succeed. Oliver here goes over how he did that. Skip to 14:10 for the lesson, taken from Rocky Balboa.

  Acting (Chris Lansdown): Thanks to frequent commenter Mary, I recently learned about the existence of William Gillette, the first man to play Sherlock Holmes, mostly on the stage but also in a silent film.

Born in 1853, in Connecticut, William Gillette was a stage director, writer, and actor in America. In 1897, his play, Secret Service, was sufficiently successful in America that his producer took it to England.

  Gaming (Rampant Games): I played over 70 hours of No Man’s Sky when it was originally released.  Unlike others, I wasn’t disappointed. Yeah, it got repetitive and lonely at times. There was a starkness to it that no amount of lush procedural visuals could overcome. It’s changed a lot since then, graphically, in gameplay, and it has true multiplayer. Sadly, I haven’t had the time to devote to it. Yet.

  Fiction (Razored Zen): This is a collection of stories selected by Joe Lansdale, and including in introduction by Lansdale. Before I talk about the individual stories, I’ll give my overall viewpoint. I’d generally say I enjoyed most of the tales but the title is very misleading. A better title might have been, “Tales of a New West,” or something along those lines. Most of these tales are nowhere near  traditional westerns. Lansdale is clear in the introduction that that was what he was looking for but the title certainly would have led me to expect a different sort of collection.

  Writing (Rawle Nyanzi): Larry Correia, the Mountain Who Writes, is a personal hero of mine. His advice to writers is to be prolific: write lots of stuff, then release that stuff, then write some more, release some more, and so on. I am often in awe of how much he writes and publishes, and I wish that I could reach even one-tenth of his yearly output. To him, “writer’s block” simply isn’t a thing — he presses on, no matter what.

  Fiction (Adventures Fantastic): Henry Beam Piper was born on this day, March 23, in 1904.  He died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1964.

Piper is not well known today, and that’s a shame.  In his lifetime, he was best known for two series, The Paratime Police and the Terro-Human Future History, as well as the stand-alone short story “Omnilingual”.  His best known novels include the Little Fuzzy subseries of his future series and Space Viking, which was a major influence on Jerry Pournelle.

  Fiction (John C. Wright): Abraham Merrit is one of the foundational authors of speculative fiction, and it is a shame that he is not well remembered. I blame a deliberate effort of John W Cambell Jr and his protegees to undermine the fame of pulp authors in order to glolrify the more nuts-and-bolts fiction following the model of Jules Verne or Buck Rogers.

Now, I like Hard SF or Tech SF as much as the next fan of Asimov, Clarke, Heinlein, Niven, Pournelle, Baxter, &c., but I also like the pulps and their freedom from strict genre restraints, and I hate snobbery in all its forms.

There is no wrong way to have fun.

  Fiction (Rich Horton): Today would have been H. Beam Piper’s 115th birthday. His first novels were the two serials discussed below, published in books form as Crisis in 2140 and Uller Uprising. (A version of “Uller Uprising” had actually appeared as part of the Twayne Triplet The Petrified Planet a year earlier.) In addition to those novels, I append a short look at perhaps his most famous story, “Omnilingual”.

  Comic Books (Broadswords and Blasters): In 1993, editor Karen Berger at DC Comics forged a new imprint that focused on stories geared at a more mature audience and creator owned works as well. The end result was the creation of Vertigo Comics. Such early titles included, naturally enough, a transfer of already established titles such as Shade the Changing Man, The Sandman,[1] Swamp Thing, Hellblazer,[2] Animal Man and Doom Patrol. Soon after, new titles, both ongoing and limited premiered under this imprint including Neil Gaiman’s Death: the High Cost of Living, the Matt Wagner-helmed Sandman: Mystery Theatre and Peter Milligan’s Enigma.

      Sensor Sweep: David Lindsay, Robots, Hollow City, H. Beam Piper, Jonah Hex published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[mx-bebe31-blog]

Kihyun - Conspiracy Theory

If Kihyun were a conspiracy theory he would be,,,

Men In Black

Ok, one, this is one of my favorite conspiracy theories

Even in real life I joke about it so much i love it

So if you didn’t know, the Men in Black are people, or rather, agents of the government who usually show up around people who have witnessed ufo encounters or know too much information about aliens and ufo’s.

They are almost always described as men wearing black suits (grey in the UK)

Wear bowler hats to cover their bald heads,

Have no eyebrows

Sunglasses,,,

And some have said if they don’t have unusually bright red lips, they wear lipstick to make it seem like they do have lips

This whole appearance deal is so that these agents can fit into human society to confront these select groups of people

And when they confront these people, it is usually to shut them up about what they know (if they are planning to reveal it), and intimidate them into keeping quiet

And if you’ve heard of or seen the movie Men in Black with Will Smith, this is where the movie found it’s inspiration

But there have also been quite a few encounters from these Men in Black in real life, as told by real people

Buzzfeed Unsolved even did a video about it

And if you don’t know Kendall Rae, she is my one true love in a youtube channel and she also did a video on the Men and Black, and this sis always gets down to the details you’ve never heard of before, and really explains true crime and conspiracies really well

This all kind of started in 1947 - the infamous year of UFO sightings and the Roswell Incident

However this time it was Harold Dahl who claimed he had been warned not to talk about his alleged UFO sighting on Maury Island. This man was dressed in a dark suit.

Albert K Bender was also intimidated by men in black suits who threatened him against continuing his investigation in UFO’s.

Some people who have encounters do not believe they are actually human (which honestly from the odd almost reptilian description of them, I don’t believe they were in the first place)

Ufologist John Keel claimed his experience with the men in black felt more like “demonic supernaturals” who had exotic and odd facial features

Jerome Clark, another ufologist reported they felt like “experiences” who were not from this world and did not seem to occur in the same reality as him

And these are just the few first people back in the 50’s who started to realize this pattern of men in black

Even in modern times, there is surveillance video of two men in black on camera

This conspiracy feels a lot more real than some of the other ones out there

And maybe it’s because I think the world is only coming closer to the day where Area 51 or the CIA will finally release or have to reveal information about UFO’s and extraterrestrial life

Like why does it still have to be hidden? Why are there seemingly non human agents being sent out across the nation to shut people up from letting us know the answers we want?

I’m still waiting for that day, but even now, it is still interesting to theorize and imagine what those people could know about our galaxy

And the deep, deep secrets that still need to be kept confidential

So for now, I will link some videos down below for you to analyze and decide yourself if these men in black are worth the intimidation they pose on all of us

Hey lovelies, here are some cool and woke ass links!

Kendall Rae’s MIB video that has way cooler encounters than I described here (and the surveillance video that may have caught MIB on camera!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMB-OCda7vI 

A Youtuber named Kenny Veach went missing trying to find an M-Cave that has some seriously suspicious and possibly extraterrestrial connections

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLtFn9wgmwQ

___________________

Hope you enjoyed! Also remember that conspiracy theories are just theories!! This is for fun, people requested another conspiracy, and there is no need for hate when you can just click off my blog. It’s in my description that I’m not the lightest AU blog out there, and if you are sensitive about it, please don’t bother yourself with my content. Thank you!

For everyone else who does like my content, thank you so much, I will keep posting what you request bc I want to do my best as a creator to satisfy you. And if you’re like me and like to keep it creepy and angsty, then I love you and I’m here for this vibe fam!! Literally drop any request in my inbox or my DM’s and I’ll gladly do it for you honey! <3

Love you, I’m pumped this week might be poppin out two a day ilysm

-S

#monsta x #monsta x au #conspiracy theory #men in black #kpop au #monsta x conspiracy theory #kihyun #monsta x kihyun #yoo kihyun #kihyun monsta x #kihyun au #monsta x kihyun au

[liberty-has-died]

HomosexualsAreReprobates-Homosexuality IS offensive. It does not belong on a general public website, especially one where children might utilize for research for school

HomosexualsAreReprobates-TRUMP = POTUS

HomosexualsAreReprobates-Trump removed it and put it where it belongs..... On the CDC webpage

Gabriel Hernandez-They preach equality yet want to be singled out every chance possible. Confused?

Gabriel Hernandez-There will be substance in this country post-Obama J-on-You know, gay people, Mr Trump knows where you live and he is gonna blow up your tyres.

David-These are the groups of individuals that are the most infected with the HIV / AIDS virus , WORLDWIDE . 1. Homosexuals 2. Bisexual Males 3. Male Homosexual Prostitutes 4. Illegal IV Drug Addicts 5. Those that have sex with the above It seems that immoral and self destructive acts are the cause

David-It's ironic that the typical Homosexual is slim / skinny . And that the feminine acting one . Has all body hair removed from the neck down . In some perverted way , thinking this mimics a " female " body . While the other acts " straight " or masculine . If their relationships were so legitimate . Why on earth do they mimic , Heterosexuals ?

David-These are painful medical conditions associated with repeated and forceful , sodomy . They are Hemorrhoids , Anal Fissures and Anorectal Trauma .

David-GOOGLE SEARCH - 7 Scientific Facts about Homosexuality and it's adverse effects on Society - Homosexual Deception - Enteric Diseases of Homosexuals - Homosexuals and Their Diseases 

David-If being a Homosexual , Lesbian , Bisexual or Transsexual was normal . You wouldn't have to proclaim to anyone , that you were one . As well , you wouldn't hide the fact from anyone , that you are one 

David-GOOGLE SEARCH - The Homosexual Lifestyle - The Diseases of Homosexuals - Male Homosexual Practices .

David-" GAY " is a EUPHEMISM - 1. The use of a word or phase that is less expressive or direct , but considered less distasteful , less offensive , etc., than another .As to deceive , fool or otherwise " pull the wool over our eyes " HOMOSEXUALITY is not normal , but abnormal and most importantly , IMMORAL !

David-Lesbians , Homosexuals , Bisexuals and Transsexuals . Are just as immoral as thieves , liars , cheaters and those that commit incest and #$%$

kimberly-I guess this idiotic writer is either too stupid to realize that the previous page was designed specifically for president Obama and his accomplishments; thus "HIS" web page was archived, or he hasn't cleaned the #$%$ out of his pants yet, now that Obama has vacated the premises, and he is scared and in denial. I suspect a little of both.

gloc-Maybe he will open a site for all the so called religious people who want to FORCE their RELIGIOUS AGENDA on everyone to post and shame all those who have been DIVORCED as the morally sick, family destroying,child hurting sinful people since the Bible which they all claim was written by God himself not MAN says they should be stoned to death because it is the same as Adultery. Oh I forgot he is one of those people who did not live by their religious belief of what the bible said. Just how many of those religious bible pounding people have read it or maybe 1 or 2% probably less live by it. They PICK AND CHOOSE are or Born again so they can claim to be Christians, if all were truly religious we would not have hundreds of different religion just one. So can anyone tell me which church or religion will your new leader make the National Church of America and what will he make all the other religions do hide their TRUE life in the closet as to not offend the TRUE CHURCH. America no longer the land of the free and no longer dose every vote count, we know almost 3 million were thrown in the trash, sorry 50% + the almost 3 million. America no longer Great but co-ran with the aid of mother Russia and the appointed Trump. With hope America can survive Trump and the Religious Agenda's that will be forced on all Americans.

GEORGE-I am so happy that "MY PRESIDENT THE HONORABLE DONALD TRUMP"has spoken for the 95% of American people.God Bless and Peace be with you!

kimberly-I thought those on the LGBT community wanted equality? That's exactly what they just got.

novus_ordo-More SICK news [email protected]/LGBT

novus_ordo-The LGBT page moves under: [email protected]/LGBT

LouieLouie-why should there be a webpage for LGBTQs and none for straights? people are people regardless of how special they think they may be and there must not be any preferential treatments

Gloria-About time.

Gus-That's a good start President Fart, Well done.

linda-Now back to marriage is between a man and a woman.

Bobby G-Good, they are freaks anyway.

foreverlivingfree-t's about time.....thank you...

Kathy-This was done by Obama's administration NOT Trump's. This is protocol for all outgoing presidents. Yahoo news creating drama?? No!! Eye roll.....

Jerry--Awesome! It has no place on a government website

GordonFreeman1960-"LGBT youth who may be facing discrimination and contemplating suicide." That is not a problem that requires Federal action or Presidential attention. There are many other problems we face that are much more important.

lewis-I saw this photo of this disgusting man back during the campaign. He is holding the pride flag upside down

Harrison-The Bible states clearly that men shouldn't lay with men. Oh wait, it also says you should sell all you own and give the proceeds to the poor and you should be stoned to death for working on the Sabbath. Thank God we have a good Christian like VP Pence to tell us which injunctions to ignore and which to obey.

GordonFreeman1960-Yay! Glad to see Trump is doing what needs to be done. Made my day.

Rosco-Did he also turn off the rainbow flood lights on the W H ????

Phillip Mooney-This homophobic administration has already started its drive against the gay community and it's only been two days. He doesn't want to include all of the Americans; he wants to divide us all! Well I don't think he or his party are going to last long if they keep up this hate.

John-YES we Can!!!

gary-They will have to change out the rainbow flag for a blue flag because they singin the blues.

Harold-And now the assault on equal rights begin with the power of the rupubliNUTs in control.

Funkmaster23-Memo to Libt@rds. Obama is gone. He is not the designer of Trump's White House website. Trump feels that jobs, bad trade deals, and paying for illegal alien pos's is more important than men using the wrong restroom!

YAHOO! is libretarded SHIT!!-I was BORN thinking that #$%$ is wrong. Can you comprehend that one, gays?

KEVIN-If we're really all Americans in a "melting pot," there is no need to spoon out the individual components. Most adults respect other adults and we don't need to confer "special" rights on anyone in this great nation. They are given by God and decency, not the iron fist of a hypocritical and self serving "government" bureaucrat...

Carol-I read in another article that Obama took the site down before he left the WH. He also took down the global warming site. It's so difficult, now, to know who or what to believe.

Adolfo-Yes, I hope Trump makes the White House Holy again!!!!!!!

Ken-Why don't some of you people ask for forgiveness? You people suggest that something is shoved down your throats unless its something you agree with. You are always concerned about your rights but everyone else's rights be damned. Why are you looking at a LGBT page anyway? Silly season I guess. Get a life, get of the blogs, and gain some tolerance. After all, the LGBT community has to tolerate YOU.

Harry-that is so good! President Trump way to go.

skiller-Trump haters especially celebrities do not have enough IQ.

Sheryl C-So where is proof of his inclusiveness? Trump claimed to be a man for all americans so far the only ones I see him making happy are male white christians.

None-The freak show is over?

A K-Thank you. These behaviors are chosen and regardless of what is said, evidence shows an outlier of HIV/AIDS, STI's, Rectal/renal cancer, drug/alcohol usage, depressiveness and suicide compared to the general population. These folks who choose these behaviors need understanding and help. Check HRC for their own stats

Sheryl C-Oh course out crawls all the homophobes but that was not the only page to go. So was civil rights. In you have forgotten women of all colors including your white women protested yesterday. Their rights are on the line to. They don't want to back the dark ages where they had no right to decide what to do with their bodies, or who they got to marry, or when they married or what age they married. They don't want their right to vote gone. Let's face it that is what you trump voters want. You don't want to just roll back the clock 40 years you want to roll it back a 100 years. For all your yelling about the muslims most of you sick right wing trump jerks are jealous and want what they have. So people it is time to stand against them unless of course you want to go back to living in the dark ages

Darrell--Why are you surprised? Did you forget the Republican agenda?

Alex-It looks like the threat of the LGBT mudslide is coming to a halt. America will be great again!

Leo-A government page isn't the place for it. The same for religion.

Bubba-Time to redecorate the closet gay boy!

Sheryl C-That was not the only page that was removed so was the civil rights one. Like i keep warning people you can only push people so long before they start pushing back. You are already seeing the pushing back with the protests and the people protesting are NOT just black as much you would like to believe, they are white women, blacks, mexicans, LGBTS, muslims, basically anyone who is not male and white. You trump voters keep forgetting that Trump lost the popular vote. White women who protested yesterday live everywhere guys. Enjoy sleeping on the couch guys.

Jetlag--I couldn't care less who you sleep with, but quit waving that thing in my face!

Richard-Let the REVOLUTION begin.Women, minorities, gays buy shotguns now and get ready for the next CIVIL war. We will never go backwards, live free or DIE.Time to fight

WhitePeopleAreEvil- I wonder what those LGTBQ that voted for this idiot thinks now?

spike-whine whine is all they ever do . It really does get old when the lgbt feel like they should have more rights than I do.

Mike-Time to get back in the closet.

Aaron-The web site is cleared at the beginning of each administration. Why would a story talking about what Obama did be left on a site that now revolves around Trump. The author is just trying to start trouble

cavemanwhoever-Very few voted for Trump...the ones that did are smart enough to vote their pocketbook and security, not their genitalia. The rest? Trump doesn't owe them a blessed thing, just as he owes NO democrat or NeverTrumper a thing.

Jason-Why don't they move to Saudi Arabia.......or any Muslim country where they will be "welcomed".....

Jason-Fringe minority.....don't need them and Trump proved.

Wolverine7-The homosexual sodomy lobby had a good run. Now its game over forever

Hoon H.-"LGBT" The farce of it all...if it were only one letter it wouldn't confirm "choice" and dispel the "born that way" hoax.

lindley-LMAO......all the guys freaking out about LGBT, are here defending their silliness.

Ramses S-.So it was removed. Big deal. It was just there to look good anyway. And it certainly doesn't mean gay people are going anywhere. smh

Hoon H.-So what? Sexuality is not a pressing issue in 2017!

NE Philly-Man Yahoo is working this story every which way it can. Every administration redose the web page.

Damago-From reading the comments it's good in a way. If your religious beliefs don't practice or celebrate homosexuality then the law should not MAKE you do it. Gay people need to eat if they go to a restaurant or need medical attention at a hospital and they're being turned away because they're gay then that's violating HUMAN RIGHTS not gay rights. I have a problem with them using the ACLU to force businesses to make gay wedding cakes or take pictures that they shouldn't have to. If it is THAT serious have other businesses that are open to doing things like that. For one business that does not promote homosexuality, then allow a business that does. How does it look asking a Muslim or Christian faith practicing business to do what everyone else is doing? That's a form of imperialism. But it's America. The United States is good for forcing their ways on others especially since we do it to ourselves. That's why individuality is extinct.

Rich-And the libs will cry over this.

Tommy--Praise God!

jack-The Yahoo News seems to out of touch with the will and thoughts of the people of this Nation, and This story is one more example of that... Yahoo should read the first couple of Hundred comments here, and learn...

Jonathan-Waste of webspace. LGBTQIA stil have equal protection ... Obama only cared about votes... he didnt care when you guys got shot up by a Muslim. He blamed the USA for Muslims AGAIN.... he blamed you for being gay and living freely in America. Don't you understand this?

jack-trump is doing just what he said he would do, and the people who elected him are happy about that, all sixty million Strong..

endersgame-ust the start of a repressive party taking power and will do just like they have when they have taken over southern states, they will make it harder for minorities to vote, they will make it harder for reproductive rights of women and they will do a lot of this by promoting religious rights so that they may discriminate due to the deeply held reliogus beliefs.

Don'T Be Manipulated-FAKE NEWS. PRES. TRUMP SUPPORTS LGBT, AND WE WEREN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT BUT WILLING TO GO ON...THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE VIOLENT DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS. REPUBLICANS DON'T BLOW THINGS,UP DESTROY BUSINESS,KILL COPS,HURT PEOPLE FOR FUN...BLM IS THE NEW #$%$ GROUP !! WATCH OUT FOR THEM.

gojumpinthelake-DRAIN THE SWAMP....SEND EM SCATTERING...WHATEVER THEY ARE PRAISE GOD JEHOVA

david-Good, that make room for a useful page to be added! Jerry H-GOOD !!!!!

charles d-This is one of the many reasons that Obams and Michelle were so devastated when Hills was defeated. They lost hope, but 64 million found renewed hope.

The Obams Michelle agenda is going into the trash, as it is was obscene, rude, condescending to many normal, heterosexual Americans.

leah-Every time we get a new President the old pages get archived and removed. Per the article trump considers the supreme court ruling on gay marriage to have put an end to the issue. Of he no longer sees it as an issue there is no reason to immediately start up a new page about it. That doesn't mean he has anything against the LGBT community. It just means he has a different focus than our last president

James--The percentage of the population that isn't gay, doesn't run around, waving their arms in the air, screaming that they're heterosexual. Knock it off already. Sticksnstones-New Presidents always take down former Presidents web sites, stop trying to make something out of nothing. Odumbo did the same thing when he took over

matt-Judging by the comments here It is clear that the fight for LGBT equality is far from over. The BIGOTS commenting here and the ones in Washington could take back our rights just as quickly as they were given. So we must still stand tall despite what people like you say or think.

Pooter-It amazes me how many people are pretending to be Christian in this thread. Look to the plank, and forget the judgment you're spouting. Vince-Well done. Now deal with AIPAC / ISRAEL / GOLDMAN SACHS kind, to take your country 'BACK' from them.

Crusader1211-That flag use to be a beautiful symbol of peace and love from God to mankind. Now it represents militant hate mongers who want to push an agenda down everyone's throats whether or not you agree with them. I own Pavilion Resorts-Gay guy's know now " exactly " what to do to protect themselves. The more beds you hop over and play in , the more your chances are that when you hop out of it , you'll be all full of disease. Then when you are diagnosed you know then exactly what all you did wrong and intentionally ignored prior. Now, There you have it !

charles d-Thank God only a pervert President would have it there in the first place!!!

Brain_Salad-Now here's some good common sense. An LGBT page. Why? What do they need protection from? Stupid liberals fail to realize that by fabricating an issue that never before existed they actually created a real problem in which people who never thought about it now are. The potential now exists for a situation inside or outside a Target or McDonald's bathroom - and it has already happened a number of times. It's almost like planting a post-hypnotic suggestion in someone's brain that gets called into action when triggered by the correct stimulus. Also, Trump said the precisely correct thing when he referenced that Supreme Court decision guaranteeing the fundamental right of marriage for gay couples. What more is needed? LGBTs are unnecessarily alarmed to think they're going to get stripped of some rights that were granted to them. Nothing ever reallly was! In fact, this action is actually doing them a favor so they can go about their business of living a normal life like everyone else. Like everyone before did in the past.

Timuel K-They shouldn't need their own special page for their rights because they should have the same rights as everyone else. So this should looked at as a good thing.

laimutis-Good job, there's no place for trash of society

CoinSurfer1-It has not taken long and America is already starting to be great again!

Wise Old Man-2 months ago-OK FOOLS! This is just the beginning of the "NEW WORLD ORDER"! Hail to the chief. The despicable one is feeding the egregious Republicans what they want

Jad-If people would just check the facts before making these statements and getting upset they would see that EVERYTHING from the previous administration was moved to the previous presidents account. Our new administration gets to post whatever they think should be there. He has only been in office for two days and pretty busy. i would imagine he hasn't had much time to post yet.

Paula-Thankfully, that page is gone. Government should focus on issues that are much more important and applicable to all, including the basic rights afforded ALL Americans under our Constitution.....not special privileges for a select few

John-Good!

Hairy Reed-t's about time we stop this "PC" madness..

Steve-To every issue there is an up, and a down side. Take abortion. While the repeal of Roe VS Wade would be a victory for the religious right and a financial relief to the majority of Americans who are forced to pay for something they don't believe in it also would prevent the aborting of millions of leftists.

Beige Almighty-LGBT got the right to marry, now let's focus on getting people jobs

Steve-Could be that the administration is finally going to focus on things that affect the majority of Americans instead of the fringe that has been used to gain political power. I am hoping that the colored lights that were used on the Whitehouse to insult the majority of the American people have been restored to normal. Or is that "racist"?

Rob-Leftist bullshirt! Minutes after Trump took the oath of office the White House website was completely emptied - all of it. For the leftists to proclaim that specific parts were removed is grossly dishonest. All of it was removed = to allow the new President's web team to start building the website. There is absolutely nothing nefarious in that process - it is, in fact, exactly what Obama's web team did 8 years ago.

Mark-the LGBT population has only begun to finally achieve equal rights over the past decade and now the hate really turns on us... I have listened to negativity all my life from right wing straight people .. you are the haters.. and YOUR hate has created whatever ire the LGBT community might have toward you.. though our fight has been a peaceful one.

Walter-Well, reading down the comments, it is obvious some sanctimonious, ostentatiously pious so-called Christians have taken it upon themselves to voice their views. It makes me wonder if they happen to be from Topeka and attend Westboro Baptist Cult.

Jeryco Brick-Thank god. Sick sick people.

Repairman Dave-2 months ago-I am sick of the heterophobes!!!!

Kenobi-They always complain about wanting equal rights, but what they are really wanting is SPECIAL rights.

TUCO-GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, the 15 Minutes of Fame for the DEFECTS is way past its Expiration Date ! Normal Mainstream Americans are just SICK & TIRED of homosexuals an the Alphabet Soup of Critters they attract !