Tumgik
#also where would I even go?? wtf
romeoandromeo · 2 years
Text
.
#so bored rn i want to write but i don't want to get up and go to the computer to do so and also I'm shit out of ideas#and also i took a sleep aid so i should actually probably be trying to sleep instead of writing or browsing Tumblr#idk today was just very unfulfilling i guess#i was supposed to see my friend and chill and get high#but he got called into work and so i just went to the bmv instead because I've been putting off getting my new license and i had nothing#better to do so i just got that shit out of the way#i didn't get a chance to buy cigarettes so I've been without nic all day long and it's making me restless#I've been inside literally all day I'm going stir crazy i need some nature#but it was hot today#well hot compared to what it has been it was only 78 today and i come from Florida so i shouldn't be completing#complaining i mean#but like all week it's been in the fifties and I've been loving it i feel like I'm living with this cold weather#I'm literally in bed sweating rn i feel like I'm still down south#i can't continue the YouTube video I'm watching because i think this sleep aid is making things influence my dreams#and i was watching a playthrough of a game that makes me paranoid but I'm sucked in and i just don't feel like being schizophrenic rn#who am i kidding I'm always schizophrenic lol maybe i should get back on meds idk just don't feel like being extra paranoid ig#i have a roach but no one hitter and i found literally a pinch of weed#but how can i smoke it? idk where my bfs pipe is and also my parents bedroom window is open so they would literally smell it#im not trying to get kicked out 🙄 can't leave the house because the garage makes too much noise and idk our front door is weird#also where would I even go?? wtf#idk im literally just so incredibly bored and i want to do anything but sleep i really want to be outside smoking really#anything a blunt a cigarette... idc id even take a damn vape and i literally hate vaping#well i guess i don't megahate it but still#ugh what do i even dooooooooo. i want to be under the influence of somethingggggg but we don't even have any alcohol....#well... i have a few blue moons in my car which i should probably get that shit out of there they've been under my seat for months#but I don't want beer :/ i need like a buzzball or smth also?? ever since i moved and have had to buy something that i need to show my id i#i keep getting dirty looks from the clerks??? like what'd i do I'm literally just buying a pack of cigarettes.. and you hardcore stare at#my id and then give me the evil eye for what?? I'm of age??? stick up your ass much???#idfc i started giving them dirty looks right back like i did nothing wrong and you're out to get me for no reason ://#what was i talking about before this???
3 notes · View notes
nell0-0 · 13 days
Text
Too tired to draw, what is this curse. I wanna draw so badly but can't even focus on the screen, augh
27 notes · View notes
fluffypotatey · 9 months
Note
*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*
PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????
I have. So many Feels. About Themst™
The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????
Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.
If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.
Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.
Indifference is the true opposite of love.
Hate is love that's gone rotten.
“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK
WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)
(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)
OK OK SO
we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?
F+ father of the year :)
he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)
also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)
UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.
UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?
UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?
not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank
UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!
UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.
UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.
ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana
now, about the double edged blade…..
as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse
way #1
i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)
MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?
early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2
MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!
MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?
UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!
to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.
the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.
ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)
way #2
compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)
ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.
ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!
ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.
we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)
on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.
notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀
however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse
looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.
UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.
UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!
so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here
Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).
so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.
OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic
sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)
when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)
however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.
[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]
anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
^worried/protective Morgana
Tumblr media
^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers
Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).
that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.
it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.
like honestly,
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
look at them T^T compared to before
Tumblr media Tumblr media
their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.
fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.
like fuck, man
two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood
screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite
#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again#(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube)#special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots#fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕#also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other#forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again#also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi#own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her#when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur#it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more#literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more#well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for#always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf#also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc#loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites#with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER#her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate#the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ?????#anyway#continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:(#[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂#place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur)#spent 2 days on this post lol#me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur—#me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free????#pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate!#me: FUCK THERE’S MORE#bbc merlin#merlin meta#pendragon sibs
63 notes · View notes
benbamboozled · 11 months
Text
Guys, don’t worry, I know you were wondering and, yes, I can confidently say—
Tumblr media
Deadman IS a hottie under his mask.
My work here is done.
Source is Blackest Night #8
58 notes · View notes
no1ryomafan · 3 months
Text
With more older anime I watch that’s specifically about androids the more I noticed all the influence mega man pulled from it despite it not being a anime nor the robot timeline ever getting a proper anime but I think what gets me more then “the basis of mega man is like astro boy, casshern and POSSIBLY kikaider all in a blender with mega man x making the second two inspos more apparent” is realizing how many villain characters inspired proto man.
You have the obvious one, char from Gundam, you have rock holmes from Astro boy who’s not a confirmed one but seems to track given classic takes a lot of Astro boy influence and then you have Saburo from Android kikaider, the most likely inspo for proto in EVERY category- and then you remember how while these characters are evil for a complex reason, proto man really shines to be different as he changed his ways. He’s still a rival to his “brother” in a sense but bass takes more of the role of the evil mega man, while proto just watches from afar and comes in to help when he thinks he’s needed.
I’m going to rotate this red robot fuck for awhile again FUCK
7 notes · View notes
Text
if you’re in the rise fandom and see this:
go read “all the ashes in my wake” by @crows-murder right now.
(yes, that is an order, and yes, pun intended.)
this post serves as a fic rec, but mainly to let me gush about how much i love this fic without filling up the author’s inbox with a small dissertation (/joking).
for the fic rec part:
leo. cursed. ella enchanted type cursed.
if you have any interest at all in absolutely phenomenal angst, clever writing with a style that’s easy to follow and smooth as butter, on-point characterization and dynamics, and basically anything you could ever ask for of a rise fic,
go. read. this. fic. right. now.
(that said, i am now going to ramble about my specific thoughts concerning the fic and it’s plot, so. possible spoilers beyond this point?)
there have been a growing number of fics in this “sub-genre” of the rise fandom involving a character (generally leo) getting cursed, and then facing off against angsty odds that make you go, “oh. oh, shit.” (/positive)
these curses also tend to involve the phases of the moon in some way, which i think is a very fun and interesting trend
i’ve enjoyed all of the fics that i’ve read which fit into this, but this particular fic may be my favorite yet
it follows a simple formula, neatly tying the a plot (the curse stuff) and the b plot (leo’s conflict with leadership and the strain it’s putting on his relationships) into a neat little bow.
while the idea of leo getting “ella enchanted” is fun on its own, it’s doubly important to the plot and the characterization, as it forces him to have to fix one problem to address the other.
in the first chapter, the author constructs the roots to this, by contrasting leo’s wily, independent nature against the inevitable conflict that will stifle his attempts to act on it.
watching him brush his brothers off, make his own choices and go off on his own, builds this wonderful sense of tension. it hooks you — what’s going to happen when that string is cut?
it plays perfectly into the underlying conflict. leo needs to find a way to overcome his fears of leading the team, or else the rift between him and his team will only continue to widen.
so what does the narrative do? it forces him into a position where he is no longer gets to choose.
this incapacitation is a powerful tool, not only because of the external force of the curse, but also that it plays off of the weaknesses of his character.
this isn’t something that he can just handwave, or take care of on his own. it’s a situation where he needs to ask for help.
but this is leo we’re talking about. of course he isn’t going to go to his brothers about this, or even tell them! but by hiding it and trying to fix it himself, he ends up caught in a deadlock of his own making.
and since it doesn’t look like he’s going to get over himself very soon, it seems more likely that he’ll end up cornered in a very sticky situation indeed (something which i am very much looking forward to seeing, if that is the plan).
it’s genius! to fix his problems with the curse, he has to address his issues with his family first.
my attempts to sound smarter than i actually am aside (/lighthearted), i am so glad this fic is addressing the conflict between raph and leo. not only that, but in a way that feels true to their characters.
unlike other iterations of the tmnt, the roles here are reversed. it’s not the stolid abs responsible leader pitted against the broody loner who wants to be leader, but isn’t the right fit.
it’s rise!raph, who cares about his little brother and wants to support him, and rise!leo who, on some level, doubts his own ability in this new role on the team — to be anything more than “the face man.”
it’s not often where you come across a fic where the a plot and the b plot are equally engaging, but this is one of those rare cases where everything just works. it’s like i’m witnessing the first steps of some great machine, meticulously crafted, a hundred disparate parts working in tandem.
in the third chapter, the angst just works. the pay-off there feels so real, because you get it. you relate to this character. when raph is there, waiting up for him, you know shit’s about to go down. you can feel it.
if the necklace (and therefore the curse) acted as both a narrative device and catalyst, leo’s swords represent the other side of that: the last bit of freedom he has left in this godawful situation.
they’re the last bit of freedom, his only hope of escape. raph taking them (or, rather, leo being compelled to surrender them) has just glorious undertones in the narrative as a whole.
if you were to consider the katanas a representation of leo’s autonomy, it makes sense why him being forced to give them up hits that much harder.
not only is it a tense situation, where leo is fighting back but ultimately unable to overcome the curse, it cements this underlying feeling of helplessness the author has been seeding since the chapter previous.
now that we’re here, with both the a plot and b plot coming into direct confrontation with what leo wants, we recognize that leo cannot continue how he is.
sure, he’ll keep on fighting it (abs i am very much looking forward to seeing how that goes), but this is the point where we know, there is no escaping.
leo is now truly stuck. without his katanas, fubdibg the necklace to break the curse on his own is basically impossible.
and he recognizes this.
leo’s characterization throughout this fic has been some of the best in the business. he’s smart, witty, independent, calculating — probably one of, if not the best true-to-character representations of rise!leo thats i’ve seen so far.
(absolutely phenomenal job there, i cannot stress this point enough.)
in fact, all of the characters in this fic are so well-written? i’m already seeing roots for character development within casey sr. (which i am so here for, oh my gods you don’t even know), and you can’t help but be invested in all of these relationships
we’re constantly being reminded of the emotional conflict, how much of a strain it’s putting on the relationships, not just between raph and leo, but between all of them.
leo sees this, understands something has to change, but feels paralyzed by what that could mean. for him, and his family.
not to beat the metaphorical dead horse, but that scene after leo surrenders his katanas abs flees back to his room? damn. i felt that on a visceral level.
being so tired, so miserable, so helpless, when a part of you knows you’re being irrational, but having your own pride and fear get in the way of that?
not to project all over these characters or whatever, but fuck. it feels like this was written to call out me, specifically (/j /lh)
and urgh! the detail work in this is incredible!
maybe i’m just a slut for somewhat contrived narratives, and definitely contrived foreshadowing, but the way it’s done in this fic comes off as so clean and organized.
it’s like... weaving threads in a tapestry. you can see where the connect, though you’re not quite sure where they’re going, until you can step back abs look at the picture as a whole.
it genuinely feels masterful in some places, like, mother of god, leave some talent for the rest of us!! (/lighthearted)
i could probably keep talking about this forever, but i do have other responsibilities i should be taking care of, and i kind of want to reread the three chapters that are out (as of writing this) again.
who knows, maybe i’ll revisit this in the future, when i have a better basis and understanding of the underlying themes here.
for now, dear author (if you are, for some reason, reading this),i hope you don’t mind my pretentious and meandering thoughts and/or assumptions. you’ll probably see me again, gushing in your comment sections. yours is just the kind of fic that deserves to be gushed about.
32 notes · View notes
pepprs · 11 months
Text
my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm
#purrs#delete later#also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you#gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a#grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of#fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when#she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my#brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no#one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc#the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good#enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was#boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts#but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀#i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is#a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time.#idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that#don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he#feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop#making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is#(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the#circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or#dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol#)
15 notes · View notes
dmclemblems · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
“she’s not out for conquest”
hm. debatable.
#im trying to avoid this going into main tags and shit bc im trying to tag everything for my own blog#but i also do not know if tumblr still uses that first five tags go into the search tags thing#bit anyway so yeah also hubert agrees with me that she's out for conquest i mean he and she both say it themselves#it just so happens she also has massive power trips and wants to see them lying defeated before her before carrying on o.o#like okay look that's a bit fckn much. one: the only victory she'll accept despite how she tends to say#she'd let people surrender and stop fighting her and yadda yadda but here she proves that's not true#but also? idk the tone and wording is like... more aggressive than it even needs to be#she could just say she'd only accept a victory where she defeats all her enemies but nope. it's this instead#meanwhile in all other routes in both games they literally force you as byleth to be like i don't wanna fight her#or the main lord of the route is like i don't wanna fight her and they try to reason with her and let her get out with her life#then we have her here like nah we're gonna defeat them no questions asked. in all other routes they try to#find another way out that doesn't involve fighting except in SS where at that point the Church knows better#and they know she won't stop fighting them until someone loses but in that route they force you as Byleth#to say you don't want to kill her or ask if you can't walk the same path as her#to which Seteth very rightfully gets totally pissed off at Byleth for that bc wtf why would you say that after all this and be on our side#Three Hopes#Edelgard#DCE Comments
31 notes · View notes
glimpsesofeuterpe · 6 months
Text
.... i am real bitter about the loki s2 finale atm also seeing how it's less success in comparison to s2 hopes for s3 where they could possibly do more of stuff & outcomes are zero
#blahblah#whine in tags#🤡#i really dont like it when they pull this shit with a character deciding to make a choice for their friends aka 'do better for everyone'#aka run the hell away aka do the glorious sacrifice & end up all alone (no one not a single one asked them about it wtf)#first with kiddo spiderman second azi now they pulled a loki into this#as much as i can see usually they mean good etc but with all the respect to flaws and struggles in this#not when you run away and go alone into stuff being all vague dramatic instead of trying to discuss it esp via time jumps#you got tons of chances to try all sorts of stuff#but talks don't work with ppl like silvie uwu-- so what? again we are talking about loki who learned a lot like he even built a whole devic#couldn't he learn her magic and just you know show her he is all honest? do time jumps with her? too simple? ooc??#.... i don't like this type of choice making siiiiighhhh#also started to see a pattern of sorts like it becomes a whole trendy plot twist thing going on#the one where characters make choice for their significant others instead of asking and/or idk trying to talk a bit more to them? no?#i would get it if they were the only one affected by outcomes but they are not#what kind of thought or lesson could fish out of it?#like obviously it's about trying to be less stupid than them and talk to ppl instead of assuming and making choice for them#but also#it feels like western media (not so) vaguely approve control freakness nowadays? it keeps popping up treated casually like not unhealthy#it couldnt be just me glitching out??#i def still admire dramatic themes but maan i just want kiddos be healthy and happy eventually am i asking too much lol
2 notes · View notes
poppyseed799 · 6 months
Text
Brother why are there so many roaches we have had TWO full exterminations and BOTH TIMES the roaches came back. The first time there were less of them for a week (still some) but the second time there was absolutely zero difference in the number of roaches even immediately after the extermination. Like man. What am I supposed to do about this
#they’re in all the appliances dawg how am I supposed to cook 😭#and my sister is just like ‘just move out!!!’ brother WHERE#she is actually moving out on the shortest notice imaginable cuz she can’t deal with the roaches#going to our ex step fathers house cuz she already planned to move in there with her partner#but now she’s going there early cuz of the roaches#and like okay sure but WE can’t move in there. and yet she’s like ‘find a new place!’ brother we renewed the lease#and also do you know how the world works nowadays you can’t move anywhere it’s always more expensive 😭#we’re like frogs in boiling water#I jumped ahead with that metaphor but I’m too lazy to backtrack to explain how I got there#anyways yknow the roach guys said the infestation was REALLY bad and they wanted to do a follow up#but idk when that follow up is cuz it’s been a month since the extermination and there has been 0 difference. as soon as we came back to the#apartment there were still roaches on the walls#like man what am I supposed to do they’re everywhere and it would be so hard to move out 😭#vent#<- figure I’ll add that cuz like. that’s what this is. my life is just not great rn. constantly hungry too cuz we struggle with groceries#and I’m too scared to make myself some food cuz of the obscene amount of roaches. there was a roach in the dinner last night. then my mom#invited us to dinner at her place and refused to get us dinner.#said she wanted to hang out and didn’t talk to me so wtf#it’s just not going well. I posted happily about how I got those gifts but honestly I can’t even enjoy them because there’s too many roaches#like I don’t know where to put things so that roaches don’t get them. there’s no safe space.
5 notes · View notes
azurexsnake · 11 months
Text
And if anyone is wondering why I spell Knives’ short name Kni, check ep11 when the twins are going through records. It’s supposed to be Kni, not Nai
5 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#there's this wild thing i do where i dont trust the chemical lables on containers in the lab#which is 1000% irrational bc by law they have to b correctly labled#i guess its probably more that i dont trust my ability to read the lables. thats a lil more irrational#lil more rational i mean. bc dyslexia and a short term memory that has been certified as below average#so i read the lable and think ok i read the right thing. then i turn around and im immediatly like ok but did i remember that right?#and so i have to go back and check multiple times. it happens everytime i have to pour ethanol#ill pour it into the container and still im like. ok but is this actually ethanol???? yes! u checked the cabinet 3 times and it behaves#like ethanol! wtf is ur problem??? good lord. this is part of the reason i hated chemistry labs#i would get so fucking stressed out that i would have to leave the room and lay on a bench outside so i wouldnt pass out#bc i dont deal well with time pressure and i would have to read the instructions over and over and over and walk back and forth to the#chemical. distrusting of what i just picked up bc i cant trust my eyes and brain. and that eats up a lot of time#and is super fucking frustrating. its also y i go to the lab at weird times so ppl cant see me tracking and back tracking bc my brain cant#go straight from a to b. annoying. its also y i cant handle cooking bc its literally like chemistry#i cant trust my brain to understand instructions under time pressure. i hate it#i also have to tap my pockets like every five minutes to make sure i still have my keys on me bc idk im afriad ill lose them#recently ive been very bad abt locking my door too. as in i lock my door. take ten steps away and cant remember if i locked my door#so i either have to go back and check. and its always locked. or i walk away with a horrible sinking feeling in my gut#even when i kno i locked it. im like. but did i tho??? and i always forget to double check until im like annoyingly far away#whatever. its not that bad. just annoying mostly. sigh... im back taking measurements for the next 4 or 5 days#im being a horrible mope bc all my time feels empty. like i gotta probably say thank u to coauthors for their help getting a manuscript#accepted but i just feel so detached abt it im like so fucking what? but whatever. i gotta pretend to b a functional person#and then work on all rhe other manuscripts that r way more boring. like sure useful whatever i dont care its gonna b boring to write#uuuuugh this what the stupid measurements do to me. im an empty shell. i dont even kno what to draw or read or watch. im just bleh sad#bc i kno im activitly making bad and wasteful choices but i self awareness doesnt seem to help#alas. trapped in a web of compulsive patterns#unrelated
6 notes · View notes
no1ryomafan · 5 months
Text
I mentioned this briefly last night in my last big post so here it is: The Ashe&Grey to Kei&Go parallel meme. I would’ve done a compare and contrast chart instead of listing out all the parallels but last time I did it the resolution was even worse then these 💀 besides just pointing out the similarities is funnier since I’d say overall their vastly different characters- but these baseline similarities I can’t help to notice even if I doubt it was a reference on ZXs part to Armageddon. Moral of the story they'd all be besties probably. (Also I’m going to ramble in the tags once more-)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#meg text#getter robo armageddon#mega man zx#shitpost#I actually did do art once of grey and ashe in go and keis clothes but never bothered to post it on my art blog#even though I posted it on my Twitter art alt which is just the same fucking thing 💀 my inconsistency between the two is hilarious#also to clarify if anyone saw the fic post no this will not be mentioned in the crossover even if it would be a funny angsty thing to write#it’s not one of *those* crossovers and none of these characters will be prevalent (even if I can say one of these duos does appear)#but if I ever wrote a normal ass ZXA fic where grey and ashe both existed I’d have to NOT give Grey Gos “I will protect you” complex 💀#Grey is more personified then Go so it be less of a “it’s my objective” thing but baby boy doesn’t need to risk it all for his sister#especially when they both could kick ass together bc I will always roll with the hc if they both exist in a timeline they share Model A#I will never understand how the fuck Ashe is Albert’s daughter though bc its so confusing if she’s his descendant or not#I cannot tell if it’s a mistranslation thing or if Albert contradict himself I’d have to look at the dialogue again bc it’s been awhile#(I play ZX religiously I just can’t remember the last time I looked at all the dialogue- especially advent)#I guess it’s better then having a gender crisis like Kei over there though#Oh and I may have stretched it a bit with Kei’s meme bc it was never said if she *wasnt* going to pilot a getter#and like shin dragon whole ordeal was it needed to scan Kei’s dna to further its evolution which feels like it leads into her piloting it#but from wtf I grasp about Saotome’s questionable parenting is he probably raised her as a boy bc he wanted her to be a researcher#and not a pilot#the tables fucking turned there LMAO#Oh and machine in the meme getter wise refers to both shin dragon and shin (for zx it’s clearly just A)
6 notes · View notes
Text
I'm begging every character on TV to stop hanging out with their exes when they're with someone else and not telling their s/o about it. Nothing good can come from it, idiot!! Watch a movie!!
4 notes · View notes
Text
I really tried to give rings of power a fair shot but y'all wtf was this week's episode
#rings of power critical#not putting it in the main tag bc i know some ppl are still enjoying it#not entirely sure how bc imo the writing is so incredibly flat#the battle was so boring! and it took up the entire episode!#i felt nary a worry or a fear about who would live or die bc the characters are eithef flat or annoying#and suddenly a bunch of characters have like jumped forward in their arc?#but not in like an organic way. just from a to b to z with no other letters in between#like what do you mean halbrand is gonna be king now. he hated that shit 2 eps ago#theo was fully racist against elves but now galadriel is hot hes over that i guess#elendil and isildur having a father-son moment like theyve developed that relationship at all since last episode#where are the hobbits. theyre the only redeeming feature of the show bc they feel like whimsical 80s fantasy#but they got shunted out for 70 minutes of a battle that had no tension whatsoever#oh wait adar is also a redeeming feature bc i do want to know whats going on with him. like whats his deal#but back to the battle. browyn's whole wounded situation. wtf was up with that#it was so slow and laughably relaxed#like shes just chilling there on the table with an arrow fully through her chest#and arondir and theo are like 'uh i guess we better slowly try and stop the bleeding'#shes talking like normal. barely out of breath. woman you have an arrow through your lung!!#also im sure she was blasted with 2 arrows what happened to the second where did it go#ill shut up now even though im sure ill think of another thing that bothered me in like 2 seconds#feel bad for the actors though bc theyve been getting shit for the wrong reasons#its not bad bc black characters exist its bad bc the writers dont give a shit#theyre acting their little hearts out on these mediocre at best lines#okay shutting up for real now
5 notes · View notes
fyodorkitkat · 1 month
Note
do u have thoughts on what beast flavoured fyodor is like?
Similar to main manga Fyodor imo! Though there are things that would affect him differently I think? Without the challenge that is an ADA Dazai that might change things for him, but I wonder if he would just be more sure of his plans or maybe a little more bored as time goes on? I know it was only added into the movie, but when he watches Dazai die and learns about the nature of their universe he does not even seem that surprised despite talking like this is new information to him, but also says the next thing to do or whatever is to take out Atushi and Akutagawa because too many people can't know about it or things will become unstable. So he seems just as ruthless as he is not in beast. But why does he care about that?
If I think about it too long it does make me wonder if he would come to the conclusion that he can't effect things within this "story" the same way as the other him that he has to assume exists could, that the book he could obtain in his universe isn't the same as "the Book". I don't do great with multiverse shit or explanations it gets confusing for me so I won't go too far into that I'll just confuse myself. But, idk if he would be one to give up or lament. Or just obtain even more information to try and solve things?
1 note · View note