#also while she’s still 13 and her crush on jj is still there she’s accepted him as a friend and has learned to treat that friendship nicely | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegreatestofheck · 4 years

Text

Heck’s Masterlist

OBX Masterlist

Since some of my fics are getting long, here’s a masterlist of everything I’ve made so far in relation to Outer Banks! It will continually be updated as more fics, blurbs, and requests are added!

Also, my requests are open! I don’t generally do smut, but I’m open to mostly anything else!

JJ Maybank

Requests:

Jump - You are John B’s sister and you’ve been following him around your whole life. After deciding to make your own path, you find yourself caught up with a boy who is no good and JJ is the only one who can get you out of it.

Wedding Dress - JJ makes a promise to himself that he’s now not sure he can keep.

Run - You’re John B’s sister and after sending him off on the Phantom, it’s up to you to cover for him. But Ward Cameron is still your legal guardian and he comes to collect his property.

Ransom - John B’s sister is taken by the square groupers. In exchange for her life, they ask for the compass and a heavy ransom price. It’s a race of time as the Pogues, with the help of Sheriff Peterkin, journey into the marsh to save her life before the clock runs out.

Not So Unrequited - in the middle of an argument with your best friend, he says something to you that you had never wanted to hear.

i love you - your relationship with JJ had always been rocky, built on a mutual desire for affection. that doesn’t mean he would never break your heart.

fill the void - she always felt alone, so when he needed her most, she couldn’t resist.

promises, promises - You and JJ have an unspoken thing, passed only though stolen glances and half serious flirting. But the day after he takes the fall for Pope, you find yourself standing at a crossroads; do you step in to protect him from his dad, or do you stay out of it?

Series:

Ocean and Alcohol - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, Epilogue, Rafe’s POV) You’re a kook, but your life is less than ideal. After a fight with some of the other kooks, you let slip a little about your home life to one JJ Maybank, who is more than intrigued. (reader insert with a name, tw: abuse, canon content)

Tempest and Gin - (1, 2) The gold is gone, but Elma’s problems are just beginning. With her dad in police custody and her mom once again AWOL and refusing to pay for legal council, Elma and Ms. Lana struggle to get through the trial with a court appointed lawyer. At the end of her rope, Elma finds herself juggling friends, family, rivals, and enemies as she struggles to keep her wits about her and do the one thing she’s always done; protect Kid.

Girl With No Heartbeat - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) After a near death experience, JJ is saved by a girl in the water. When he and the Pogues find her washed ashore the next day, they are more than surprised to discover that she isn’t your everyday girl. (mermaid/siren au, canon divergence)

Imagines:

Sweet as Honey, Hard as Steel - JJ’s girlfriend is the complete opposite of everything one would expect. A straight A student with big life goals, Elena has never been the drinking, smoking, fighting type. And JJ wouldn’t have it any other way.

Coward - Your mom just passed and your absentee father has come to collect you. But that means leaving the life you knew and loved, including your best friend (and a little more), JJ Maybank. But he isn’t ready to hear what you have to say on your last night together.

Rafe Cameron

Series:

Fire and Storm - Rafe Cameron had always wanted her. He wanted to be hers and he wanted her to be his. But she wasn’t and he was slowly beginning to realize that he never would be. (this is Rafe’s POV for a bit of another series, Ocean and Alcohol)

Requests:

Better - Secretly dating Rafe as JJ Maybank’s sister isn’t the easiest thing, especially when your brother finally learns the truth.

Imagines:

Meant to Be Yours - Rafe Cameron, your boyfriend, was more broken than you realized. He wants more from you than you can give. (based on the song “Meant to Be Yours” from Heathers the Musical)

John B

Imagines:

Girl Crush - You spent years yearning after John B, your best friend. You just didn’t realize it until he fell in love with the most beautiful girl on the island...and it wasn’t you. After that, only Sarah Cameron was on your mind. (based on the song “Girl Crush”)

Tethered - (routledge!reader, John B’s little sister) Surfing the surge was a Pogue rite of passage. You had been waiting for the next big storm to show your older brother that you were ready to be one of them. But the storm was stronger than you or your brother could have imagined.

Just Come Home - (routledge!reader, John B’s little sister) You come home one day to find your brother bearing harsh news.

Series:

By Dawn - (1, 2, 3) John B meets a mysterious girl at his court ordered group therapy. After spending weeks trying to get to know her, he slowly realizes that she’s a tough nut to crack. But then one day, she leaves him a cryptic message...the night before she goes missing. With the disappearance of his father still so raw in his mind, John B refuses to lose anyone else. And he will stop at nothing until he finds her.

Sarah Cameron

Imagines:

Kie Carrera

Imagines:

For Forever - When you’re parents find out that you’ve been secretly dating your best friend, Kie, they go off on you. Afterward, she comforts you, reminding you that blood doesn’t mean family. (tw: homophobia, found family to the max)

she - As a Pogue, having a crush on Kie Carrera was almost a prerequisite. You knew that all the boys were crushing on her, at least a little bit, but accepting your own feelings for her is a different matter. (reader has a crush on Kie but isn’t really ready to admit her feelings)

Requests:

Nothing More - You’re secretly dating one of the Pogues and your brother is starting to become suspicious. The only problem; he’s fixated on the wrong friend.

Pope Heyward

Imagines:

Nothing to Prove - Pope helps you with some relationship problems. Later, while hanging out with your boyfriend, you realize that running from your fears got you nowhere and the only place you wanted to be was with Pope. (very soft)

Delivery Boy - With an absent mother and a distant father, you’ve always felt alone living in your empty house. But a certain delivery boy might be the one thing that makes running an estate worth it.

Seires:

Bare Bones - (Preview, Theory 1, Theory 2, Theory 3) Pippa Cantu has always been a little…strange. With a knack for knowing everything there is to know about every conspiracy, every mystery, and every weird happening, she doesn’t have much time (or desire) for friends. But when her chemistry lab partner asks her to join him and his friends on a hunt for the Royal Merchant, she just can’t say no.

Kelce

Series:

Simple Melancholy - (2) Jemma “Little J” Maybank finds herself a little over her head when she accidentally falls for a boy from Figure Eight. Between her overly protective brother and Kelce’s incredibly rude friends, neither of them are sure how they’re going to make it, but they’re determined to.

General (Everybody)

Imagines:

Do Not Stand - One of the Pogues passes away and leaves a message for her friends. Each of them take it in a different way.

Series:

Little Village - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Finale) As the oldest of the Pogues and John B’s big sister, June always acted as their mother. She helped with assignments and studying, helped pay bills when it was needed, made dinner, reminded them about hygiene. But then she got pregnant and her boyfriend left and suddenly she found herself unable to do all those things she was once able to. When they say it takes a village, she wasn’t entirely sure they meant a bunch of teenagers. (post-canon, I haven’t decided who the love interest will be or if there will be one at all, so that’s why its here)

Requests:

Homeward Bound - After spending years abroad at a boarding school, Kie’s sister returns to the Outer Banks. The Pogues quickly realize that, despite her cold exterior, there is a free spirit inside her just longing to break free.

A Bunch of Love Stories Masterlist - A series of fics based on Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless”.

Outerbanks Playlist - This is just a list of songs that remind of the Pogues and other characters in the show. A few of the songs are connected to some of my fics as well!

ATLA Masterlist

Zuko

The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars - She is a non-bender from the Southern Water Tribe who somehow found herself smack in the middle of Fire Nation central, where a young prince is fighting an internal battle she hopes to help him win.

Harry Potter Masterlist

Fred Weasley

warm - you and your husband survive the second wizarding war, but so do some of Voldemort’s old followers, and they are hell bent on revenge.

Severus Snape

The Other Her - Severus Snape had two friends while he was at school. One, every body knew as Lily Evans. The other was you, an unknown student who wanted nothing more than to be noticed by your friend. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to the Gryffindor heartthrob every time he mentioned her name.

Only One - You return to Hogwarts years later to watch your son’s Quidditch match, only to find yourself a little bit in over your head.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Derek Morgan

breathe again - he saved her life and now she has to deal with the aftermath. he’s there to help her every step of the way.

Aaron Hotchner

dark of the night - an agent gets taken in the middle of an investigation. in a race against time, the team at the bau must find her by diving into her deepest secrets. when a video tape arrives with horrible images of the state of their friends, aaron hotchner realizes just how terrified he is of losing her.

The Musketeers (BBC) Masterlist

Porthos

enough for you - the wife of a musketeer reflects on her relationship with her husband while Porthos watches from the sidelines.

1K notes · View notes

radiantroope · 4 years

Text

Into the Wild || JJ Maybank

Chapter One: Denial

pairing: jj x reader

mentions: pope, kie, john b, sarah

summary: the pogues are going on their annual camping trip before the fall semester starts. tension between you and jj boils over, walking the fine line between just friends and something more. you wonder if the two of you can make it out of this.

warnings: underage drinking, drug use (marijuana), swearing, smut in future parts

author’s note: this is going to be a multi-part smut series! i love camping and felt compelled to write this. inspired by @storiesbymads and @ptersparkers with their series study sessions. please let me know what you all think of this, feedback is what keeps me going! love you.

masterlist || add yourself to my tag list

It was tradition since you were seventeen. A yearly camping trip with all of the Pogues. You’d travel off Kildare Island and into the wilderness of some random town in North Carolina. The destination every year was never the same. Everyone was twenty now, aside from you, having just turned twenty-one. This gave you the opportunity to buy a surplus of alcohol for the trip instead of scrounging up what you could find when you were underage.

The old Volkswagen bounced along the old country roads as John B pushed it to its limits. You were surprised it even still ran. Under the hood was a mess of duct tape and the fuel gauge wasn’t exactly accurate. The brunette boy had the funds now to get a new vehicle and you wondered why he hadn’t. Maybe it was the fact that the old hunk of junk held so many memories.

Your eyes shot open as John B pulled the van to an abrupt halt, body lurching forward. You huffed and rubbed the back of your neck as it tensed. You scolded your friend, “Jesus, JB. Next time ease up on the breaks.”

The Routledge boy simply scoffed in response and opened his door to climb out. Pope slid the back door open and you clambered out, Kiara and JJ following quickly after. You stretched your arms over your head then bent down to touch your toes, stretching out your aching back.

“Oh God, it’s never felt so good to stand,” JJ practically moaned as he twisted his back and cracked his spine.

“Disgusting,” Kiara muttered while pulling a face, walking around to help Pope and John B untie the camping gear from the top of the van.

Sarah reached into the back of the old car and started to get out everyone’s duffel bags. The blonde had thankfully learned her lesson when they were young when she brought two suit cases on her first trip with them. You teased her about it for the rest of the year and she swore you all were never going to let her live it down.

You attempted to drag the two large coolers to the door, grunting at the strenuous effort it was taking. One of them was full of food and the other of beer and water. JJ stood, leaning against the van puffing on his vape as he watched you with an amused expression. Finally you huffed and turned to the golden haired boy with a glare.

“Are you gonna help me or?” you trailed off, putting your hands on your hips.

He rolled his eyes and tucked his Juul back in his pocket before climbing over the coolers and standing behind them. He helped drop the cooler down on the grass, waiting until you slid it back to help with the other. The two of you dragged the large boxed containers over to where Sarah assembled rocks for the fire.

John B, Pope and Kiara were picking spots for the tents, making sure there was generous space between them for obvious reasons. Kie and Pope would be sharing one tent, Sarah and John B in another — leaving the only non-couple — you and JJ in the other. Said blonde boy walked over to take over setting up your little home for the next week after watching you struggle with the sticks.

“How many times have we been camping and you still can’t pitch a tent?” JJ teased as he skillfully put it together, glancing up at you with a small smirk.

You rolled your eyes and walked over to the drink cooler, pulling out your drink of choice, Mango White Claw. “I’m a small girl with tiny hands, okay. Me and tents don’t get along,” you defended yourself, watching over the others as they also got their tents put up.

“I’ve got a tent you’d get along with,” JJ remarked cockily, shooting you a wink when your head snapped to look at him.

That was the relationship you and JJ had since you were fifteen. Some would call it pining. He made sexual innuendos towards you and used his best worst pickup lines. There was an undeniable sexual tension between the two of you that everyone could feel. Though, you had this unspoken rule that the two of you would never cross the imaginary line between best friends and something more.

When Kie and Pope got together after John B’s disappearance all those years ago, the Pogues nearly fell apart. There was weird tension between the Heyward boy and JJ since the latter had been crushing on her for years — thank God he got over it a year later. Kiara and Pope had an on-off relationship for a while. When they were on, things were great aside from a few arguments here and there. But when they were off, there was a divide, and you all felt as though you had to pick sides and make time to spend with them both separately. When Pope went off to college, it solidified their relationship. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, you supposed.

Seeing the trials and tribulations of Kie and Pope’s relationship made you swear to yourself to never go there with JJ, no matter how badly you wanted to. Little did you know, the Maybank boy shared the same desires. He tried to drown it out with pussy and booze for a long time. He would get a girlfriend who had the same eye color as you or shared your mannerisms, hoping it would help him get over it. Yet it never did and they only lasted a week or two max. JJ had come to accept the fact that it was always going to be you and he would probably never find true happiness. You’d get married and start a family with someone else and he’d be forced to sit on the sidelines and watch. He spent many sleepless nights thinking about it.

“Just finish the damn tent,” you grumbled as you took a sip from your can and walked to Sarah who called for your help collecting firewood.

It was already fairly late in the day so once everything was situated at your campsite, you all decided to save your adventures for tomorrow. The fire was going and camp chairs for the six of you were circled around it. Pope and John B were fully focused on preparing hot dogs. They’d get one finished and hand it off to JJ to bun it and place whatever toppings were wanted on it.

“Y/N, you want anything on your dog?” JJ asked as he bent over the cooler, looking at you through the locks of hair that fell in his face.

“Just ketchup please,” you replied and pulled a Coors out of the cooler behind you.

JJ strutted over with the paper plate and bowed in front of you as he held it out. He gave you a cheeky smile and in a horrible English accent said, “For you, m’lady.”

“Why thank you, kind sir!” you replied in an accent just as bad, taking the plate from his hands carefully. You held up the can of beer and grinned, “And for you.”

If there was a physical embodiment of heart eyes, it was JJ in that moment. He placed a hand over his heart and took the can, rough fingers grazing your own. He bent down and placed a quick kiss to your cheek then walked back towards John B and Pope, but not before calling over his shoulder, “Love you!”

You shook your head and let out a soft laugh, turning your attention to your food. You missed the look Kie and Sarah shared, knowing smiles on their faces. The two looked over at JJ who hadn’t stopped smiling since your minuscule interaction. He looked almost like the same giddy sixteen year old boy they all knew and loved.

A while later, after many more beers and delicious s’mores, everyone headed to bed. Shared good nights were called between everyone as they retreated to their tents. You had already slipped in yours, changing into your pajamas before JJ barged in. By the time he stumbled through the small opening, you were already curled up in your sleeping bag. Your hair was tied up in a messy bun that pressed up against the pillow.

JJ kicked off his boots and pulled his shirt over his head. Your eyes flickered down to his toned abdomen for a moment before you turned over and closed your eyes. Ogling at your best friend would only make sleeping that much harder. You heard him rezip the tent and climb into his own sleeping bag that was only inches from yours. The two of you muttered drunken, sleepy goodnights before drifting off into dreamland.

You jumped awake in the early hours of the morning when the wind blew against the tent. You sighed softly and rested your head back against the pillow, breathing deeply to steady your rapidly beating heart. You reached for your phone and the time read 4:13 AM. You’d all sauntered to bed around one meaning you got roughly three hours of sleep. It was usually like that the first few nights of camping for you. The unease of sleeping vulnerably in the wilderness made you sleep extra lightly.

You sat up and glanced over at JJ whose face was barely illuminated by the moonlight shining through the mesh. His lips were parted slightly as soft snores and heavy breaths left his mouth. You cracked a smile seeing him like that, suddenly thankful he wasn’t a loud snorer like John B who you could hear from across your campground. You wondered how Sarah could stand sleeping next to someone like that.

As silently as you could, you crawled forward and slipped on your old Vans then unzipped the tent and slipped out. You closed it back and paused for a second to make sure you didn’t wake JJ. When you didn’t hear any rustling, you made your way over to the fire, that was now burnt branches and gray ash. You pulled the coolers next to each other longways then laid down on top of them.

One thing you cherished about the camping trips was the stargazing you were able to do. You couldn’t get a view like that back home, even in The Cut. The view was indescribable. You could see the satellites that orbited around the Earth, floating slowly through the atmosphere. You could lay there for hours, lost in thought as you gazed into the universe.

JJ awoke a short time later, almost as if he could sense you were no longer next to him. He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm and reached his free hand out to feel for your warm body. He was met with the cold material of your sleeping bag. He was still disoriented as he sat up and squinted into the dark tent, searching for his shoes to see where you’d gone off to.

The sound of JJ’s footsteps nearing where you laid startled you, not hearing your tent unzip or the still slightly drunk boy stumble out. His eyes were glazed over and he had a dazed look on his face as he wandered over, shirtless and in the same shorts he fell asleep in. The dirty black boots scuffed against the Earth with each of his heavy steps.

“What’re you doin’?” his groggy voice asked, an octave or two deeper than usual.

“Woke up ‘n couldn’t go back to sleep,” you responded, sitting up when he patted your thigh. You straddled the cooler and JJ did the same, right in front of you. His knees brushed against yours as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

You watched as his hooded eyes glanced around the campsite before falling on you. You had tilted your head back to look at the stars again. The moonlight illuminated your face in a way that mesmerized him. He could see the stars reflecting in your eyes, eyelashes brushing flawless cheeks with each slow blink.

JJ took the opportunity to pull you closer, hands going under your knees and pulling until your legs were draped over his own. You let out a gasp at the sudden movement. You barely had time to react as he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in the crook of your neck. His tangled waves tickled your jaw as it blew in the breeze. You smiled slightly and brought one hand up to the back of head, fingers gently combing through his soft locks at the base of his neck.

Goosebumps rose over his tanned back as the fingers of your other hand gently trailed up and down his bicep. He resisted the urge to place kisses on your neck, knowing he’d be shot down and quite liked the current position you were in. Which wasn’t unusual for the two of you. JJ was touch starved and found every chance he could to hug on you or cuddle you. You never complained, liking the feeling of his warm body securing you in an embrace. You’d never met someone who made you feel as safe as JJ did when they held you.

“You falling asleep on me, Maybank?” you whispered teasingly at the feeling of his breath evening out against your collarbone.

You received a hum in response, his nose brushing your throat as he shifted his head.

“Let’s go back to bed,” you suggested, leaning back to get a look at the boy’s face.

JJ pulled himself back to sit upright, jutting his perfectly pink bottom lip out in a pout. He shook his head and his hands slid down to your thighs to squeeze them slightly. You were made painfully aware of the skimpy sleep shorts you were wearing and a heat rose to your face. You practically lived in a bikini but something about JJ seeing you like this made you shy.

“I wanna stay here with you,” he muttered, cerulean eyes flickering between your own.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the alcohol still coursing through your veins, but in that moment you were finding it hard to ignore how badly you wanted to feel his lips against yours. Your close proximity allowed you to admire every feature on JJ’s face. From the scar above his left eyebrow from his father to the tiny freckles most people never noticed on his cheeks. You threw everything out the window.

The hand you had on JJ’s bicep slid up past his shoulder and onto the side of his neck, thumb stroking the stubble lining his jaw. He squeezed your thighs again in response. His heart was hammering in his chest at the idea of what was coming. He would never initiate it though, leaving the ball in your court. His intense gaze never left yours until your eyes drifted down to his lips and up again.

The corners of JJ’s lips twitched up as he watched your tongue glide across your bottom lip. He barely registered that you were leaning in until he felt your breath against his chin. He sat there, still as a statue as your plump lips brushed against his own. He half expected you to pull away and come up with some way to brush off what was happening, though he was pleasantly surprised when you instead locked your lips on his.

JJ kissed you back, of course, he’d be an idiot not to. One of your hands found purchase in the hair at the back of his head while the other gripped his waist. Your head tilted, intensifying the kiss as your lips worked in synchronized motions. One of his large hands left your thigh and cupped the back of your neck, applying gentle pressure to deepen the kiss.

The both of you were on cloud nine, riding a high you just couldn’t achieve through drugs and alcohol. It was something the shared kisses between you always did. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Throughout the years the two of you had shared many kisses, some drunken spur of the moment kisses, others completely sober ones that you just couldn’t resist. You tried to keep yourself from doing it, knowing you were only hurting him in the long run and giving him a sense of false hope. Tonight he just looked so irresistible you had to seize the opportunity.

Your tongue swiped against his bottom lip, feeling his grip on your neck tighten. He allowed your tongue to slip into his mouth, mingling with his own. His other hand left your thigh and pressed against your lower back. He pulled you forward until your chests were pressed together and you were seated on his lap. His sharp teeth pulled at your bottom lip, quickly soothing the pink flesh with his tongue.

JJ’s lips left yours, trailing kisses down your jaw and onto your neck under your ear. You were in a daze. Your fingers gripped his hair and felt along his chest as a sigh left your lips. His hands wandered over the tank top on your back, continuing to leave wet, open mouthed kisses on your skin.

As you felt him pull the strap of your tank top down, lips beginning to suck at the bare skin of your shoulder, you were brought back to Earth. Your breathing picked up and gripped his shoulders to push him back, muttering, “J.. JJ, stop.”

The Maybank boy pulled away quickly, hands moving to hold your wrists as you now cupped his face. He stared at you and watched as many different emotions flickered in your eyes — none of which he could pinpoint. Here we go again. She’s gonna shut me down and pretend this never happened, he couldn’t help but think to himself. His chest tightened as he prepared for the softened blow you were about to give him.

You glanced behind to the other tents and both of you heard John B stop snoring for a solid thirty seconds before it started again. You looked back up at JJ felt your heart leap at the soft smile he gave you, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. How could you sit there and ignore the butterflies fluttering in your stomach after that kiss? How could you keep lying to yourself and say you didn’t want him? You couldn’t.

“Not here, not like this,” you murmured, leaning forward and resting your forehead against JJ’s.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and let his eyes flutter shut. He nodded the tiniest bit against your head and placed a small kiss on your nose. His heart rate picked up at the fact that you hadn’t totally fucked him off. He thought maybe, just maybe, you were finally coming around and sharing the same feelings he did.

But you thought JJ just wanted to fool around with you, a fun and risky friends with benefits thing. You had no idea he was painfully in love with you. And shit was about to get complicated.

tag list: @scandalousfemale @drewswannabegirl @ilovejjmaybank @pheyward @allielozoya @x-lulu @teenwaywardasgardian @wtfstarkey @queenk00k @letsgofullkook @sortagaysortahigh @jjmaybcnks @jjmbanks @ims0golden @jjsmentalpolaroids @oldschoolimagineblog @80s-outsiders @kaitieskidmore1 @starlightstarkey @sickofbitches strike through means i couldn’t tag you; please let me know if you’d like to be removed

405 notes · View notes

outerbankswriting · 4 years

Text

Could it be? Chapter 12 (JJ x Reader)

JJ x Reader

CH.1 - CH.2 - CH.3 - CH.4 - CH.5 - CH.6 - CH.7 - CH.8 - CH.9 - CH.10 - CH.11

Description: She has a crush on JJ, but he has always seen her as another one of the “dudes”, or at least that’s what she thinks so she just doesn’t even try anymore, until things start to shift between the two of them. (A/N: I’M NOT GOOD AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT THESE IS JUST WHAT I WOULD LOVE TO HAPPEN IN OUTER BANKS WITH JJ)

Warnings: none

CHAPTER 12

You did not have a good night’s sleep, not even with JJ’s arms wrapped around you. Your mind was filled with thoughts about your parents coming home soon, the party with the Camerons and having to go with Rafe.

You turned to face a peacefully asleep JJ. His eyes fluttering every now and then as the sunlight softly hit his features. You stared at the wounds on his face that were almost completely healed and felt your stomach twist at the thought of JJ having to go back to his place and see his father.

As you slowly and quietly got out of bed, you glanced one last time at the blonde in your bed and made your way to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. You checked your phone and looked through the text messages from Sarah about going dress shopping.

Sighing, you changed into some white shorts and a pink blouse to look presentable at the stores your Kook friend was going to take you to. Once you finished getting ready, you opened the bathroom door to your bedroom and saw JJ sitting up in your bed. His eyes were puffy and his hair a complete mess.

“Morning sleepyhead.” You giggled at the sight of the barely awake JJ.

“Why are you all dressed up?” He squinted.

“I’m meeting Sarah in a couple hours to go dress shopping,” you sighed, not really wanting to leave the house, “I’m hoping it won’t take long.”

“Kook problems.” JJ mumbled before giving you a smile.

“Oh shut it,” you stuck your middle finger out at him, “JJ,”

You sat on the bed and noticed JJ’s tired eyes widen at the change of your tone.

“My parents are coming home tomorrow,”

“I know that.” He was quick to reply.

“Did you talk to John B?”

“I don’t have to,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I can just crash there and he will let me.”

“But does he know about your father?”

There was a long pause. JJ bit the bottom of his lip as he played with his fingers, clearly a bit uncomfortable.

“He knows what he needs to know.”

You raised an eyebrow at him but then nodded, accepting the fact he wasn’t going to talk about this with you, at least not right now.

After the two of you had a nice and talkative breakfast, you agreed on meeting after your dress shopping with Sarah at John B’s place since JJ was planning on spending the day there.

You met Sarah at the ferry place and took one to Chapel Hill, she noticed you were quiet and lost in thoughts, something pretty unusual from you.

“Hey I’m sorry about my big mouth,” she said softly.

You just stared at her in confusion, too invested in your own thoughts to understand what she was talking about.

“You know, for spilling the Rafe thing in front of everyone,” she went on, “I thought they knew already.”

“It’s alright.” Was all you said.

“Y/N I really am sorry,” she sighed, “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad Sarah, it’s okay.”

“Then why are you all quiet?”

You took a deep breath and decided whether to tell Sarah what was going on or simply brush it off for the moment.

“I just didn’t sleep well, I’m really tired.” You gave her a small smile. It was best to just brush it off.

“Let me buy you an iced coffee then.” She smiled back at you.

Once you arrived to Chapel Hill, the two of you walked down the streets window-shopping while finishing your iced coffee. You weren’t really in the mood of trying on a thousand dresses since you honestly couldn’t care less about the way you looked for the party so you decided to get the first simple red dress you saw.

“Are you sure you don’t want to look for more dresses?” Sarah asked as you made your way to the cashier.

“Very sure.” You said, opening your bag to take your wallet out.

“It’s a pretty dress,” she said, “at least it’s red and Rafe has plenty of red ties.”

You sighed annoyingly, remembering you and Rafe were supposed to wear matching clothing to the party. That’s such a drag.

After a few long and tiring hours of helping Sarah pick her dress, the two of you finally made your way back to Figure Eight. The ferry ride making your eyes feel heavy and Sarah’s ranting about how orange doesn’t look good on her not helping you stay awake.

“So that’s why I think the emerald dress was a great choice.” She finished and looked at you with narrow eyes.

You stared at your hands, still thinking about JJ telling you he was going to be at the party and not noticing Sarah was done talking.

“Were you even listening to me?” She asked, making you snap out of your thoughts once you felt her hand on your arm.

“Of course I was.” You lied.

“Hmm well anyways,” she shrugged, clearly noticing you hadn’t been paying attention, “we’re almost home.”

Once the two of you arrived to Sarah’s house, she convinced you on leaving your dress at her place so the day of the party the two of you could get ready together. You made sure Rafe wasn’t inside before agreeing on going to Sarah’s place.

After leaving your dresses and having something to eat, you and Sarah made your way to John B’s place to spend the rest of the day there.

“Welcome, welcome.” John B greeted you with a hug and placed a kiss on Sarah’s cheek.

To your surprise, Pope and Kie weren’t inside, leaving JJ sitting alone at the sofa with a beer in hand.

“How was the Kook life?” He asked with a grin on his face once you sat down next to him.

“Tiring and boring.” You replied, grabbing a beer.

“Hey! I heard that!” Sarah exclaimed as she made her way to the kitchen.

When you saw Sarah and John B were in the kitchen, far away to not listen to your conversation with JJ, you decided it was time to ask him.

“So,” you started, “have you talked to him?”

“Seriously?” He grunted.

“Yes JJ, seriously.”

“I told you I don’t have to ask him to st-“

“I’m not telling you to ask for his permission to stay,” you cut him off, trying to keep your voice down, “but you can’t stay here forever.”

“So what you’re asking is if he knows about my dad?”

You nodded before taking a sip of your beer, not so patiently waiting for his answer.

“He kind of knows what’s up.” He said, trying to avoid eye contact.

“I’m worried about you JJ.” You sighed.

“What happens between my dad and I is none of your business.”

His cold words made your heart sink a little, but you knew him too well to know he didn’t have bad intentions when saying them. JJ was always a private person when it came to his family, especially his dad, so you decided it was better to not push him to talk about something that made him uncomfortable.

“What I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t worry about me.” He said once he saw you remain quiet.

“I’ll always care for you.” You said quietly as you grabbed his hand.

“What’s up with you two lovebirds.” Sarah said, holding a drink in one hand and making her way to sit next to you.

“Yeah is there something we don’t know about?” John B joined the conversation as he sat down.

You immediately let go of JJ’s hand and tried to hide the blushing that was starting to make its way to your face.

“Only that you should mind your business.” JJ winked at the couple, unbothered by their words.

John B pursed his lips and then let out a smirk, knowing his blonde friend was up to something with you but deciding it was better to let time clear his doubts.

“So when’s the party between your families?” John B asked the two of you.

“The day after tomorrow.” Sarah said, making you choke on your beer.

“What?!”

“Yeah, didn’t your parents tell you?” She furrowed her brows at you.

“They never tell me shit now that I know.” You muttered.

“Why did you think I was pressuring you into going to Chapel Hill today?”

It all made sense now, she had texted you way too many times last night and you woke up to more than five missed calls from her, but you had thought she was only bored and knowing your friend, there was nothing she loved more than going shopping.

But you would’ve never thought the party was going to be in two days, you figured out your families must have brought the date forwards.

All of this just made your head go crazy, thinking about the fact that tonight was your last night with JJ staying over at your place, tomorrow your parents were getting home and the day after that, it was going to be the day to fake being the girlfriend of Rafe while JJ watched the whole thing.

You were definitely going to need something to help you relieve the stress, and as you stared at the beers in front of you and JJ sitting by your side, you knew you couldn’t wait any longer to go back home with him.

-----------

CH.13

A/N: oops what do y’all think will happen once the reader and JJ both get drunk and spend their last night together???

also sorry it took soooo long, I’ve been watching naruto this whole quarantine as well as studying french and my mind has been a complete MESS. the next few chapters are going to be good, GOOD.

------------

taglist: @babygirlizz - @atabigail - @poguesrforlife - @behappyitsemmalie - @jane-dough - @yeeedolan - @dontjinx-it - @sofiaconlaz - @fangirlwithme - @outermaybank - @hueycat2004 - @nope-thanks - @weasleyswizarding-wheezes - @haleswale - @hungoverhellhound - @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch - @asapkyndall - @hailiemarieeee - @emmasjulixn - @spideyyeet - @rosenbug - @cassidyiscool - @harrysbbby - @thatshiscigar - @kiarascarreras - @uhuh-listenboy - @normatural - @goldenariana - @heyyimlaynna - @lukvv - @irontoadllamaclam - @allisjustok - @saturno007 - @pluckypete - @pennepasta82 - @howdyherron - @perfektionsmakel - @dylanpain - @tulzu - @voidsxnsets - @shadesofbarryallen - @rimbougrine - @dolanfivsosxox - @allisjustok - @stell-rosie - @spoopysidemen - @optimisticherolightpanda - @dolansbeanies - @arsejungle - @missenchanted27 - @ctrlyouthmendes - @my-soul-is-the-moon - @hazelgirl355 - @sehunniehaechannie - @sweetwaterprincess - @ues-swiftie - @deadsunflower01 - @ghostlywombatnickelpeanut - @moadvx - @peachy-ness - @supersouthy - @howdyherron - @retro-mayfield - @cyxbv - @ydoesthesunsetbaby - @bellageorge03 - @thelittletank - @emmalvei-blog - @eaturveggiesbabe - @katiepego - @books-crushed-my-soul - @iamaunicorn4704 - @mrmaybaby - @sloanology - @wildest-dream- - @maplelattes22 - @disaster-rose - @5am-cigarette - @ravenclawmarvel - @peterbrokenparker - @pickeringshawnn - @thatshiscigar - @lovelydina - @sspidermanss - @lollypop-lam - @drunkwallows - @a-wari - @ajxlawley - @briiiimiranda - @oceantostars - @jordangdelacruz - @brightnss - @classywaves - @ironbuckley - @cilorawr - @the-beauty-queenn - @mileven-reddie- @blueegansey - @livingforbarnes - @angelnoirr - @fashionlive15 - @harrysbbby - @eb15 - @lcil123 - @drunkwallows - @uhuh-listenboy - @caringparker - @tangledinsparkles - @wildflower-lrh - @lollypop-lam - @mxrvelistic - @jeffsbarbershop - @bananasundae13 - @llunarist - @nick-awwstin - @aftertaxte - @timotaychalabae - @we-are-all-lovely - @k-k0129 - @wwylmlive - @sunshinemadds - @hawkeyetrained - @cremextart - @sunflowerwhoever - @possiamo-andare - @mayakblack - @poguelifeee - @moon-bcw - @love-bean - @turtlee-says-rawr - @heydemonsitsyagirlgrace - @marauderskeeper - @anescapefromtheworld - @imsad05

#obx netflix #obx #obx imagine #obx fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks netflix #outer banks fanfiction #jj x you #jj maybank x you #jj x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj #rudy pankow #rudy pankow x reader

636 notes · View notes

mermaidssonshipss · 4 years

Text

the mark - soulmates au {1}

warnings(these are going to be for the entire series, so while some may not be in this specific chapter, it will be at one point): smut, cursing, drug use, alcohol, mentions of abuse, mentions of suicidal thoughts(very brief).

pairings: JJ Maybank x reader

word count: 3,855

The second the clock struck midnight on your 18th birthday, the feeling of burning flesh would pierce an area of your skin, signifying that your soulmate mark had appeared. Only two people could ever share the same mark. It would appear on the skin in the form of what simply looked like a tattoo done in white ink (white ink tattoos were illegal for this reason), and the mark would ever so slightly raise, so when fingertips glided across it, you could make out the shape, even if you couldn’t see it.

When you were younger, you had dreamed of your 18th birthday and finding your soulmate, but as you got older, the idea began to terrify you. Your parents loved each other deeply, their marks burning deep for one another, but they had never loved you. To them, you were a burden, something that came along to try and break their bond, to get them to stop focusing on one another and just focus on you. Your mother had been told she couldn’t get pregnant, and she had been elated with the news. She didn’t want a child, nor did your father, and now they didn’t have to worry about it. Two years after finding one another and one year into their marriage, though, your mother had unexpectedly fallen pregnant with you. From the day you were born, you were unwanted, and they spent every waking moment reminding you of that. They provided you with a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food on the table; to outsiders, you were the perfect family, but on the inside, hidden away from the world by closed curtains and locked doors, words were hurled at you like bullets. “You’re worthless.” “I wish you had never been born.” “No one will ever love you.” “You’re a mistake, and your soulmate will realize that the second they look at you.”

By the time you were 13, you had convinced yourself that on your 18th birthday you would be one of the ones who just didn’t have a soulmate. It was rare, but it happened. Generally, the people without soulmates ended up with one another, or they simply spent life alone. To have a soulmate, you had to be worthy of love, and if your own parents didn’t love you, surely, you weren’t worthy of it. But of course, you had been proven wrong. Now, as the clock struck midnight on your 18th birthday, and the burning sensation began to engulf the smallest bit of flesh on your hipbone, you couldn’t help the tears that escaped. You took in a shaky breath, pulling yourself from under your covers and reluctantly made your way to the full length mirror propped against your wall. The burning sensation had faded to a dull ache, begging you to look at it. Your eyes closed as you bunched up the fabric of your tank top, yanking it up as you pulled down your shorts slightly with your other hand, your eyes falling on the mark that now stained your tan skin.

“No fucking way,” you laughed humorously as your eyes scanned the small wave that adorned your hipbone; a wave that you had seen many times the past two years staring back at you. The same wave rested on the inside of JJ Maybanks bicep the past two years since he had turned 18.

The two of you had grown up with one another, JJ always two years ahead of you, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on him up until you were 13 years old. He had always been cute, his blue eyes the brightest on the island, and as he grew older, he only grew more attractive. It was no secret he had a rough home-life. His parents had both been two people who had no soulmate and found one-another, and when JJ was around 12, his mom had left, leaving him with his dad. Soon after, bruises began to appear on JJ’s skin frequently, and eventually, he started getting into fights to cover up that it was his dad leaving the original marks, but you still knew. You had spent years paying attention to the boy. You remembered the day he turned 18 like it was yesterday.

You had been sitting at The Wreck with your parents eating, watching as Kie floated around the room effortlessly, ignoring the calls of the 3 boys she called her best friends from across the room. Kiara, in your opinion, was the prettiest girl on the island, and you envied how easily she made friends. You also envied how clear it was her parents and friends loved her. She had always been kind to you, and even tried to invite you to hang out with her and the Pogues many times, but you’d always declined, your parents having convinced you you were better off alone.

JJ was sporting a new bruise on his face, boasting about how he’d gotten into a fight the night before with Topper, but you knew it was a lie. Topper lived across from you, and you had seen his car in the driveway all night as well as the light in his room had been on till 3am, meaning he hadn’t left his home.

“Stop looking at him, Y/N,” your mother had snapped quietly as she caught you staring at the blonde boy, “Quit dreaming and accept the fact that nobody will ever love you, or want you,” her voice was quiet so only you could hear, her words laced with venom.

You had simply nodded quickly before excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, rushing to the back of The Wreck as tears spilled down your freckled cheeks. You looked at yourself in the mirror for a moment, wiping away the tears and closing your eyes, willing the redness to go away. After taking a few deep breaths, you exited the bathroom, running into JJ as he rounded the hidden corner.

“Oh shit, sorry y/n,” JJ had muttered, sending you a sympathetic smile, but it quickly dropped as he saw the tear stains on your cheeks and the redness of your eyes, “You okay?” He asked quietly, and for a moment, you convinced yourself that maybe, he cared.

“I’m fine,” you had replied, sending him a weak smile, and your eyes fell down to the new mark on his bicep, his soulmate mark.

“Cool, isn’t it?” He had noticed your eyes find the mark, and his smile had returned, “A wave totally suits me. Never thought I was gonna get one of these to be honest,” he was making easy conversation with you, and your eyes warmed as you looked up at him.

“You deserve it, JJ. You’ll find her, and you’ll get out. Away from your dad,” the words left your mouth before you could stop them, and his eyes widened as he looked at you. You barely knew him, how did you know about his dad? You muttered a quiet “sorry,” before quickly moving around him and taking off back to the table your parents were at, missing the way JJ had watched you the rest of the time you were in the restaurant.

Now, as you looked at the identical wave, you wanted to scream. Since the wave appeared on JJ’s bicep, he had been anxiously waiting for the day he met his soulmate. At every boneyard party he went to, he asked every girl he met to show him their mark if they had just turned 18, though he knew he would know the second he laid eyes on his soulmate she was the one. It was said that the first time you make eye contact with your soulmate after both of your marks have appeared, the world around you stops, everything but them turning gray for a moment, making it clear that they are your soulmate. Once you blink though, everything returns back to normal, and many have said they missed the moment, not realizing it even happened until they showed their mark to their soulmate. You were terrified for that moment now; you had to avoid JJ at all costs, and you definitely couldn’t make eye contact with him. JJ Maybank was to never know you were his soulmate.

***

A week had passed since your 18th birthday, and you had managed to avoid JJ. In fact, you had managed to avoid literally everyone on the island: you hadn’t left your house. Today though, your mom had asked you to go pick up food from The Wreck, and you had made yourself bleed on accident from digging your fingernails into your palms so deep as you clenched your fists.

You pulled up 20 minutes after your mom had forced you to go, ignoring your constant pleas and complaints that you didn’t feel good. The second you entered The Wreck, you heard his laugh, and for a moment you contemplated turning around and running in front of a car, that way your mom couldn’t get mad at you for not grabbing the food. With a roll of your eyes, you shook your head and pushed forward, sending Kie a small smile as she spotted you.

“Y/N!” She called, catching the attention of the other Pogues who’s eyes all snapped to you, them sending you wide smiles, “Hey, you just turned 18 like a week ago, right?” Kie’s voice was full of excitement as she leaned over the counter, her words grabbing the attention of the blonde boy who was now watching you intently.

“I did indeed,” your answer was short as you pushed yourself onto a stool, sending Kie’s dad a small wave as he moved to the back to grab your order.

“Well, let’s see it,” Pope was the next to talk, his eyes watching you closely.

“I...” you hesitated for a moment, your eyes glancing over at JJ, for a moment you made eye contact on accident, but before anything could happen, you blinked and looked away, “There’s nothing to show. I didn’t get a mark,” you shrugged, and the Pogues surrounding you went silent.

“Shit...” John B muttered, shaking his head as he clapped his hand on your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Sorry to hear that, dude. But you’ll find someone anyway, I know you will,” he assured you, and you couldn’t help the small, genuine smile that quirked up your lips at his words.

JJ was silent the entire time, his baby blues scanning over every inch of your face: you were lying. He didn’t know how he knew you were lying, but somehow he just knew.

A moment later, Kie’s dad appeared from the kitchen and handed you two bags which you graciously accepted, handing him over the money and extra for a tip before you quickly scurried out of the restaurant.

“I wish she would hang out with us,” Kie sighed as the group watched you retreat.

“She’s the nicest kook on the island,” John B agreed.

“Can she even be considered a kook?” Pope interjected.

“I mean, her parents are kooks,” JJ was next to speak, his hands folded in front of him as he played with the ring around his thumb, “But I don’t think she is. I don’t think she really cares about any of that. She used to always play with me when we were in elementary school, before her parents sent her to the kook academy. I was a few years older than her but we always had recess at the same time. I ate shit once trying to impress her on the swing set and broke my arm. She looked at me for a moment before kicking dirt over my arm and telling me to suck it up,” he laughed at the memory, the other Pogues joining in. “She changed though, when she got older. Even after she went to the academy I always saw her around, she’s always running around The Cut, but she was just... different. She used to be so happy and full of life and suddenly she just started to look... empty? I don’t know. Tried to talk to her a couple of times and she was always friendly, but it never reached her eyes, and she always leaves before anyone can really get anything out of her.”

“I’ve asked her to hang out before, too,” Kie followed, her fingers wrapping around a wet towel as she began to wipe down the counter in front of her, “But she always has some lame excuse to get out of it. I’ve seen her at boneyard parties before, drinking and fucking around with Tourons, but yeah, I agree with JJ. She just seems empty. I wanna know what’s going on in her head.”

***

Your mind was a fucking mess as you stepped into your house, placing the bags of food on the island in the kitchen.

“Why’d you take so long?” your mother entered the kitchen, raising her eyebrows as she looked at you for a moment before beginning to unpack the food.

“Food wasn’t ready yet,” your response was simple, and the truth. The only reason you had been able to speak to Kie and them for a few minutes was because the food hadn’t been ready yet, but of course, your mom didn’t believe you.

“Hm,” she hummed as your dad walked in, sitting at the table waiting for your mom to serve him, “Did you get your soulmate mark?” She asked it so casually, and for a moment, you thought she might have actually cared, but as you heard your dad let out a snort at the question, you were reminded of the harsh reality. You had turned 18 a week ago, and they were just now asking.

“No,” you shook your head, the lie slipping past your lips easily as you shrugged your shoulders, grabbing a small plate of lettuce your mom had passed to you, making your way to sit at the dinner table.

“What have we always told you?” Your dad spoke up finally, his gaze fixed on you, “We knew you’d be one without a soulmate, we’ve just been trying to prepare you for it,” your mother nodded, agreeing with your dad as they both began to eat their food.

Your fork scraped across the lettuce in front of you as you looked down at it, not feeling even remotely hungry. The conversation between your parents continued, them rambling on about how you’d have to be content being alone, the usual remarks leaving their poised tongues.

The table shook slightly as you pushed away from it, grabbing your plate and throwing the lettuce into the trash before placing your plate in the sink. Both of your parents were watching you with raised eyebrows as you grabbed your phone and car keys from the counter.

“I’m gonna go to the beach and walk for a bit, call me if you need me,” you could hear their protests as you walked out the door, but you simply ignored them.

For a moment, you just sat in your car, your hands gripping the wheel as you closed your eyes tightly, willing the tears threatening their way to the surface to go away. After a moment of deep breaths, you collected yourself and began your drive to The Cut. The beaches on The Cut had always been your favorite, free from the prying eyes of those that inhabited your side of the island. They all thought you were happy, but they had no reason to believe otherwise. On the outside, your parents were wonderful at playing the game everyone on the island was entangled in, they were the perfect parents who loved their daughter, bought her everything she could ever need, and set her up for the best life; if only they knew the truth.

By the time you had arrived to one of your favorite hidden beaches, a few stray tears had made their way across your cheeks. You parked and got out of the car, ripping your sweatshirt off and tossing it back into the vehicle. You were wearing a simple white, tight fitting tube top and a pair of jean short shorts that hung low on your hips. If you moved just the right way, you knew your mark would show, but you weren’t worried about that at the moment. JJ was nowhere around you, and you had been the only car in the lot when you pulled up. Quickly you kicked your converse off, leaving them beside your car door as you began your walk down to the secluded beach.

The wind was blowing through your hair, causing the long tendrils to fly around you as you stood, your feet digging into the sand as the waves crashed around them. You wondered for a moment what would happen if you just kept walking until your feet couldn’t reach the bottom of the ocean, how far you’d drift into the ocean, how long it would take for you to let go. Of course, you knew you wouldn’t do it, though the thought was tempting. Your parents wouldn’t care, but they’d care what those around them thought about their only daughter killing herself, and even after everything, you couldn’t do that to them.

Eventually, you got sick of standing, letting your body fall to the sand below you, your feet still firmly planted in the sand as you laid down, your eyes trained on the sky above you. The sun was setting, and the sky was a million different hues of blue, pink, and yellow, and you wished you could get lost in them. Absentmindedly your fingertips traced over the little wave on your hip bone, the feeling of the raised skin against your fingertips bringing you comfort as you let your eyes drift closed. For a moment, you let yourself think of what could be. What would happen if you didn’t hide your mark, and let the universes plan for you carry out. You pictured JJ for a moment, the boy you’d had a crush on for as long as you could remember, and all the moments you shared together when you were younger were overwhelming. You couldn’t remember why you’d started to think he hated you, when he’d never done anything to make you assume that. He, and his friends, had been nothing but kind to you. In the end, it all circled back to your parents. They would spend their time with you muttering about how no one really liked you, how they were all using you, and how you were just simply unloveable. So you pushed JJ away, which hadn’t been that hard considering he was a few years older than you. When you saw him, you turned the other way, ignoring his waves and gentle smiles. When his friends, like Kiara, approached you and asked you to join them for a party or to spend the day with them, you always declined. What was the point of making friends, if they didn’t really like you? Who could ever actually like you?

You failed to hear a pair of boots making their way through the sand, familiar blue eyes locked on your figure. JJ had rarely ever seen you looking so content, but as he got closer, he noticed the small furrow between your eyebrows, a few tears resting on your cheeks still. The motion of your hand caught his eye, his gaze falling down to where your fingertips traced. He stepped closer, making sure he was quiet as he did so, his eyes squinting as he knelt down just far enough from you that you couldn’t sense him. He heard you let out a sigh and he jumped slightly, expecting you to open your eyes and yell at him, but instead you just sprawled your arms out beside you, and that’s when he saw it.

Right there, where your fingertips had been a moment before, resting on your delicate hip bone, was your mark, the one you had told his friends earlier you didn’t have. And it was the same as his.

“What the fuck,” he muttered, standing up again as you jumped, your eyes snapping open to find him hovering over you. You quickly sat up, pushing yourself onto your feet as you looked up at JJ who stood a few feet taller than you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was here, I’ll go,” you rushed, your cheeks flushed as you ran your fingers through your hair as you tried to step around him, but he stopped you. His fingers wrapped around your small wrist, tugging you back, causing you to stumble slightly into him, your hand gripping his arm to steady yourself. He wasn’t saying anything, but his blue eyes were staring into yours, refusing to break eye contact. The other hand that was wrapped securely around your wrist had made its way to your hip, and soon his fingertips were tracing the mark just as you had been moments before. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, and you knew his felt the same, both of your marks burning slightly at their first discovery. You tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out, JJ’s stare never faltering causing you to shrink under his intense gaze.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was soft, his eyes seeming to search your face for answers.

“I didn’t... I didn’t want to disappoint you,” you finally gasped out, tearing your eyes away from his, “Just... let’s just pretend this didn’t happen, JJ. You deserve better than me,” you twisted your wrist out of his hold, taking off across the sand and towards your car, your feet moving as fast as they could.

“Hey, wait!” JJ called after you, and you could tell he was running behind you, but you kept pushing forward, tripping slightly as you approached your car, your hip slamming into the hood. A loud “fuck!” escaped your lips as you threw the car door open, getting inside and shutting it in seconds. JJ had caught up to you, but you locked the doors, ignoring him as he yanked on the door handle, and you looked at him for only a moment before pressing your foot down on the gas, racing out of the parking lot, the converse you had left beside your car getting run over by your screeching tires.

JJ let out a loud scream as he kicked at the shoes in front of him, watching as the one he made contact with flew across the parking lot. His hands were in his hair, his fingers yanking at the blonde locks in frustration. He had his soulmate. He knew who she was. She had been right there, right under his fingertips, and she had taken off.

But if JJ Maybank was known for one thing, and one thing only, it was for never backing down. You were his soulmate, and he’d be damned if he let you slip away from him.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank soulmate #rudy pankow x reader #outer banks imagine #rudy pankow imagine #jj maybank #outer banks

226 notes · View notes

thorne93 · 4 years

Text

Inside the Criminal Mind (Part 13)

Prompt: You’re married to Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU, and are a distinguished doctor yourself on the team. You’re sent down to Miami, Florida for teaching and as a side request from the FBI, to investigate a string of missing persons. When you think you’ve figured out who the unsub is, your life becomes more complicated than you ever could’ve imagined.

Word Count: 2562

Warnings: (throughout the fic –>) death, blood, gore, killings, language, disturbing mental notions, mentions of rapes/murder/etc (You know, Dexter and Criminal Minds related business)

Notes: Thank you so much to @arrow-guy, @carryonmyswansong, and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo - without each of you, I couldn’t have finished, written, or properly navigated this story. Each of you helped me fish out details that were incredibly important to me. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo… Aesthetic by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo

This is a crossover of Criminal Minds x Dexter. First time writing Dexter.

Also, the timeline is after Season 1 of Dexter, but during season 14-ish of Criminal minds into Season 15. Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sighed in content as you lied naked in your husband’s arms. You rubbed his chest admiringly. “Mmm. I’ve missed this. How long has it been since we had time off together?”

“Too long.”

“I know, it seems like every time we take vacation it either ends too soon or it’s not a vacation at all. This has been pure heaven. No work stress, no family issues, just… bliss,” you happily said. Even with the turmoil of guilt crashing inside you like waves, you didn’t deny yourself happiness around Spence.

“I know. It’s been great.” He kissed your head.

“You’ve been kind of quiet,” you noted. “Last night and all day. Everything okay?”

Now who was profiling their spouse?

“Yeah… I just… I’ve been thinking…”

At first, you thought he might bring up babies. Something you weren’t quite ready to discuss, so your body stiffened in response.

“What about?” you encouraged, fighting the rising anxiety.

“Uh, something someone told me,” he remarked.

You sat up and peered at him. “What’s up? Everything okay at work?”

You worried something happened that he didn’t tell you about.

“Well, it’s kind of about work,” he admitted.

A deep frown formed on your pretty features. “Spence, come on. What’s going on? What happened at work?”

He sighed and sat up. He put his arms on his raised knees while you sat cross-legged, looking at him.

“You remember a few weeks ago, right before Rossi’s wedding? When everyone said I got trapped in a jewelry store?

You nodded.

“Remember how I told you that JJ played a game to keep the unsub distracted?”

“Yeah, you said it was truth or dare,” you noted.

“Right. Well, uh, JJ picked truth.”

You frowned, having no idea where this was going.

“She tried to tell them about her miscarriage, about how she only trusts four people in this world, but he wouldn’t accept it. He told her to tell him about something she’d never told anyone, something she was afraid to share.”

Gears started to turn in your head as bile started to bubble in your stomach.

“She turned to me and said she loves me. That she’s loved me for years but now everything’s complicated and she didn’t know how to tell me.”

For a moment, the world was silent. Except your erratic heartbeat and the rushing noise in your ears. Other than that, time stood still. You didn't hear the birds outside, or worry about cars on the street, or wonder what Dexter was up to, or think about the next killer.

Then your mind rocketed back to the wedding. That’s why JJ and Spence were acting so weird towards each other. That’s why she ripped her hand away from his chest…

It took every ounce of self-control you’d learned from the FBI and Dexter to not completely flip out.

You turned to Spence and asked, “So… what did you say?”

“Nothing. It was a tense situation and I was trying to focus getting out of there.”

“Right,” you agreed, nodding, losing your patience. “But after that? On the jet? In the parking lot at work? At Rossi’s wedding? Did you tell her you didn’t feel the same?”

“Well… no,” he admitted and immediately you jumped out of bed and started throwing your clothes on. “Wait, Y/N, wait, I didn’t tell her anything because I thought it was implied,” he stressed as he scrambled out of bed to grab your arms.

You wrenched away from him. “No, Spence, that isn’t how it works! You don’t just leave that open for interpretation! Jesus Christ.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to tell you because I don’t feel that way about her so--”

“That doesn’t matter! Between taking nearly a month to tell me and not telling JJ to fuck off, this looks really bad, Spencer! God damn!” You were throwing on your bra and underwear. “I mean, how the hell would you feel if Luke told me this, and I just didn’t say anything and didn’t tell you?”

“It’d make me feel bad but I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

You threw your hands up and laughed without humor. “Well you fucking failed in that department! I saw the way you two were acting at the wedding.”

“That’s because ever since she’s confessed, I feel rather uncomfortable around her and I don’t know how to act. She’s still my friend but she’s harboring these feelings that I can’t return and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Yes, let’s please spare her feelings,” you snapped, venom encasing every letter.

“Y/N,” he sighed.

“Don’t Y/N me,” you hissed. “She’s got kids, she’s got Will, for Christ’s sakes. Speaking of, you two dated years ago, don’t think I fucking forgot.”

“I didn’t expect you to. It was one date, that was hardly a date.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “That doesn’t diminish the fact that once upon a time, you had feelings for her that went beyond friendly.”

“And I stopped feeling those feelings years ago, before we even met,” he reminded.

“That doesn’t... “ You shook your head, your hands in your hair. “I can’t do this. I’m leaving tonight.” You went to the closet and grabbed your suitcase.

“Y/N,” he pleaded as you opened it up. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going back to Miami, early. Fuck this. You two lied to me, she’s lying to Will, you kept this from me, and you didn’t tell her you don’t have feelings. Whether you don’t or not, isn’t the point, Spencer, the point is that you left it open for her to think maybe there’s something there and that is not okay.”

“I didn’t say it was but I--”

“You what? There is no excuse for not immediately shutting down any and all thoughts for you two unless you do have feelings for her.”

“I don’t,” he said emphatically.

“Yeah, you know what, right now it’s hard to believe that. Between the crush, the lying, the keeping secrets, the weird shit at the wedding, not telling her no, and the fact that you’ve been working together for years…” You shook your head, this was all way too fucking much right now. “That’s another thing. She’s had fourteen years to fucking say this, and she waits until now? Now? When I’m not even in the state, when I’m busy and indisposed in another part of the country. She tells you this? You don’t think that’s odd? She could’ve told you any time. She could've told you before we met, before we got married, before she got married… But it’s just fucking funny that she waits until I’m out of the picture to tell you. Does she think she has a chance with you because you’re missing me or what the hell is it?”

He looked at you, his face a mask of upset. “I don’t know. Other than the unsub’s game, I don’t know why she waited. You’re right, I should’ve told her I don’t feel for her the same way. I just… she told me in the jewelry store, and I was focused on us getting out alive. Then after that, discussing it on the jet didn’t seem right. Next thing you know, you’re here for Rossi’s wedding and we’re having sex, then at the wedding, and again, not an ideal place to discuss it. After that, I tried not to think about it. I just hoped if I ignored it and pretended not to indulge her, we’d move on.”

You sighed. This made sense. This was how Spence worked. But right now, it felt really horrible.

“Did you find out if she was even being real? I mean, maybe she was just doing it to play his game,” you offered, hoping there was some way out of this.

“Yes. At the wedding, I asked if she meant it. She said she did.”

You took another deep breath, slowly nodding, fighting like hell to keep yourself in check.

“Spence… Right now, I feel like I’ve been betrayed, I almost feel like you cheated on me. I mean, you two haven’t had an affair or a one night stand that I need to know about, right?”

He scoffed. “No. Absolutely not.”

“I believe you for that but, the rest of this… I don’t know. I’m just going to need some time.”

“Y/N. Please. Please don’t go. Stay. We can talk about this,” he pleaded.

“I don’t think I can, or want to. You’ve said your piece, I’ve said mine, there’s nothing more to say.”

“Well maybe I could sleep downstairs,” he offered. “I don’t want to lose you.”

You bit your lip to keep from crying. At this point, you had no idea what you were going to do or say or even think about doing. These two kept something pretty huge from you, from both of their spouses, and now, he just wanted you to believe it meant nothing? If it meant nothing, he would’ve said something to you long ago. Maybe he didn’t say anything at first to you because he wondered if he felt the same.

“Did you wait so long to tell me, because you were wondering if you felt the same? Were you trying to gauge your own feelings before you definitively told me.”

“No. I didn’t tell you because I thought it was pointless for you to wonder, worry, and stew on someone else’s feelings that I don’t return.”

“Well, I guess that backfired, didn’t it? Because now that’s all I’m going to wonder, is why keeping this secret between you two was more important than being honest with me.”

With that, you grabbed your purse, phone, and keys and left the house.You weren’t headed for the airport just yet, but you couldn’t be in the same house with him. Not right now.

The darker side of you was encouraging you to go to JJ’s house and kick her ass, or worse. But the practical, moralistic side of you knew that was just too drastic. JJ might be a bitch but she didn’t deserve murder.

Instead, you drove for about thirty minutes, until suddenly, a little bar came into view. You pulled in, went inside, sat at the bar and ordered a drink. You began thinking this whole thing over. You wondered if you should just go back and apologize to Spencer for overreacting. You wondered if you should make Spencer order to be kept away from JJ at work. You wondered if you should request he be kept away from JJ. You wondered if you should confide in Emily or Garcia. You wondered everything from leaving Spencer, to running back into his arms.

You two had faced problems before -- losing Emily, JJ lying to you about Emily, him suffering with using Dilaudid, him going to prison wrongly. You’d seen him at his worst. You’d helped him back up. You’d helped him with his schizophrenic-alzheimer’s mother. You’d seen him lying on an operating table for bullets that might’ve killed him. You’d been pried apart by trial and tribulation. But now… for some reason, this had to be the worst thing you’d faced. Because you weren’t on the same team. This time, you were against Spence.

All your time together, you’d been on his side, fighting with him. Now, he was the obstacle, he and JJ were the thing you were trying to overcome.

For about another hour, you sat and thought, turning over every word, every gesture, every interaction you could remember about those two. Did it seem like Spence returned the feelings and he wasn’t being true to you, or maybe true to himself? That rather came up empty. You weren’t 100% sure Spencer was being honest about how he felt about JJ, but by now, you felt if he did harbor feelings towards her, it would’ve surfaced before now. Or maybe not, maybe this was all he was waiting for.

Round and round you went in your head, trying to figure out if you could trust him again. What you could or should do about this.

Finally, you at least knew one thing you should do. You pulled out your phone and called Will.

“Hello?” he answered, his accent coming through thick. Will was someone you always really admired. He was a great cop and he seemed to adore JJ and their boys. He seemed like a fantastic husband and he was always incredibly kind to you.

“Hey, Will,” you greeted.

“Oh, hi, Y/N. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Uh, I’m not sure. Do you think I could come by your house in a little bit? I just need to talk to you. Shouldn’t take long.”

“Uh, yeah, that’d be fine,” he said, clearly uncertain of what was going on.

“Great. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

You hung up, paid for the drink and left. You’d only had the one drink, and that was over an hour ago.

You pulled up, double checking for JJ’s car, and since it wasn’t there, you knew she was still at the office. You went up, knocked on the door, and Will greeted you.

“So is everything alright?” he asked immediately, letting you in.

“We’ll see. Hey, where are the kids?”

“Upstairs.”

“You got someplace… private, we can talk?”

“Sure, in the office. Follow me.”

He led you down a short hallway to an office where he closed the door. He sat in one chair in front of a desk and offered for you to do the same.

“Look, I’ll make this quick and short. Did JJ say anything to you after that case just before Rossi’s wedding?”

“Uh, other than her and Reid getting locked in a jewelry store. No.”

“Did she tell you she had to play truth or dare, to stall the unsub?”

He shook his head. “No. She told me how they caught him, went in, they surrendered their guns, how they were held at gunpoint, then that Reid shot the guy. That’s ‘bout it.”

“Okay, well, Spence just told me they played truth or dare. JJ’s truth was… well… she told Spence she loves him. That she has for a while now, but because of things being ‘complicated’, she hasn’t told him.”

He sat there, dumbfounded, shaking his head.

“No, no. Now hold on. They’re best friends. Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand, or maybe he misunderstood?”

You shook your head. “No, Spence said he… he said he verified with her that she was talking about romance.”

“Well maybe it was just to please that killer. You know, I mean, she deceived y’all for a long time about Emily’s death.”

Again, you shook your head. “I know this is hard. Believe me, I’m reeling too. I just thought you should know, that’s all. I don’t think it’s fair to keep you in the dark. Spence told me, and now I’ve told you.” You stood to leave and he followed.

“Well, wait, did Reid say he felt the same or anything?”

“He denied feeling that way vehemently to me. He might be lying, but at this point, I’m not sure what he would have to gain by lying. So, I don’t think he feels that way toward her.” You reached up and squeezed his arm. “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging:

Forever Tag:

@essie1876

@magpiegirl80

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please

@superwholocked527

@missinstantgratification

@thejemersoninferno

@rda1989

@munlis

@thefridgeismybestie

@bubblyanarocks3

@igiveupicantthinkofausername

@kaliforniacoastalteens

@feelmyroarrrr

@kaeling

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo

@damalseer

@heyitscam99

@yknott81

@thelittlebigirl

@glitterquadricorn

@xxqueenofisolationxx

@little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama

@bittersweetunicorm

@alyssaj23

@sea040561

@princess76179

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@sarahp879

@malfoysqueen14

@ellallheart

@breezy1415

@marvelmayo

@paintballkid711

Spencer Reid

@camigt1999

@ultrarebelheart

@lenawiinchester

@esoltis280

ITCM

@arganfics

#inside the criminal mind #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #dexter #dexter morgan #dexter morgan fic #dexter fic

36 notes · View notes

let-it-raines · 4 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (28/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/n: I know everyone is caught up in JJ Sneed land if my dash is any indication, but I know some people are itching for a new chapter today! So here we are!

Also, everyone go check out this FANTASTIC piece of artwork from @imagnifika | here | because it’s awesome, and I’m still blown away by it and seeing this story come to life in someone else’s eyes! Let me stare at it forever. Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading all these words and being a great encourager! 💙

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |

Tag list: @stunningswan @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @superchocovian @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings

-/-

There are technically eight different types of cookies, and it all depends on how exactly they’re baked or, well, not baked. This isn’t something Killian knew until about two o’clock this morning when he was googling cookie recipes desperate to find something other than chocolate chip cookies to bake. But then he got sucked into a wormhole of research and discovering the difference between rolled cookies, bar cookies, and dropped cookies.

Seriously. There is an entire website on the history of cookies. He looked at it for an hour. It’s kind of insane.

It’s also not really important to him, but weird things happen in the middle of the night, especially since he hasn’t been sleeping well the past few days and his mind needed to focus on something concrete.

That’s also how he ended up wandering to the nearest twenty-four-hour market at three in the morning to buy ingredients for black and white cookies, buckeyes, and sugar cookies. He doesn’t even know how or why he picked those three. All Killian knows is that he’s been stress baking for days now, something that’s a bit hard to do when he’s trying to take it easy on his right arm, and he’s pretty much wiped out all of his cabinets of the good ingredients.

His refrigerator, however, looks like a bakery threw up inside of it. He really needs to take some of the things to Liam and Elsa, but when he went to their house yesterday, all Addy and Lucy wanted to talk about was his arm and Emma and even though it was completely innocent, it was too much for him. He can’t quite go back to give them cookies if all they’re going to talk about is Emma.

Every bit of this is his fault. He owns up to that.

But it’s still too much.

The fact that Ariel, Eric, Will, and Robin are all pissed beyond belief at him doesn’t help. He’s sure that for the four of them things will go back to normal soon. He doesn’t know for sure, but he thinks they will. He’ll never be able to clutch his shoulder again without having someone yelling at him to go see a doctor, but that’s likely for the best.

(Killian should have gone to a fucking doctor.)

They all deserve the multitude of sweets in his fridge. He’d take them to each of their apartments now, but they’re all still too pissed that he lied to them over and over again. Plus, they’re leaving for Boston tomorrow morning and likely busy even though today is their last day off from the small break that they got after Labor Day.

He’s not leaving for Boston. He’s staying right here sitting on his ass surrounded by cookies.

Emma’s going to Boston. At least, he thinks that she is. She should be. He’ll have to ask her when she comes over.

When she comes over.

Emma is coming over today. In about fifteen minutes actually, and that’s entirely why he’s been stress baking (more than usual) throughout the entire night. Killian doesn’t even know how he looks right now. There are probably some major bags under his eyes and his hair is all over the place, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he had flour or icing or even both smeared all over him.

Shit. He hasn’t shaved in four days.

For some reason, it’s that that thought that has Killian dropping his piping bag he was using to frost the sugar cookies to turn the corner in his apartment and run down the hallway to get to his bedroom so he can shower. In the past few days, in all of his moping and self-inflicted misery, he managed to pick up all of Emma’s clothes and hung them in the closet. That might be a little too hopeful thinking, but it seemed like the natural thing to do.

The sticky notes, though, have stayed exactly where they are, and he looks at them before quickly twisting the nobs on his shower and stepping inside the moment the water gets to an acceptable temperature. He doesn’t have much time, so Killian picks up his body wash, leaving Emma’s where it is, and scrubs over his body while doing some light stretches with his shoulder. He needs to put another ice pack on there.

That’ll have to come after this.

Six minutes later, Killian is out of the shower. Two minutes after that, he’s dressed in a pair of his gym shorts and a t-shirt, one from a charity game he played last year, and after looking in the mirror, he knows that he doesn’t have time to shave, not if he wants to brush his teeth again.

He should probably brush his teeth for…reasons.

That’s optimistic.

Killian can’t help it. For four days he has felt his entire world crumbling around him, and it’s been his fault. He’s known that it was. There was no denying it even when he most wanted to, and he’s wanted to a hell of a lot.

Missing the rest of the season, possibly having to miss parts of the play-offs which could mean that he could miss the World Series, is obviously crushing. There’s no denying that. The game has been his life for nearly twenty-three years, and he doesn’t want to keep screwing things up. His track record might not show that, but it’s true. He’s going to try to be better. He’ll go to all of his therapy, tell those who need to know when he’s hurting, and he’s not going to overdo it. He’s not.

But as much as all of the stuff with his job is killing him, not having Emma to talk to is worse.

The game was his life for so long, and while he doesn’t want to say that Emma is his entire life now, she’s up there in the most important category.

Probably topping the list.

Everything about his life has her mark on it. From the clothes in his closet and the bottles in his shower to the coffee creamer in his fridge and the throw blanket that she left on his couch. There are all of these physical signs that show how she’s changed things, but he knows that a hell of a lot of how Emma has impacted his life comes in the way that he’s more conscious about spending times with his loved ones or the fact that his demons don’t seem to find him as much in the dark of the night. The smile that was missing for so many years has found its place again.

Emma didn’t fix his flaws. They’re all still there. But she has inadvertently helped him to be a better person.

Even if he is still screwing up and will continue to.

Killian loves Emma, and there is no denying that. None at all. He’d never try to.

“Why does it smell like Little Debbie threw up in here?”

Killian’s head turns at the sound of Emma’s voice, and even though it causes the slightest sting to his shoulder, he doesn’t care. Because she’s real and standing in front of him wearing running shorts and a tank top, her hair tucked into a Yankees cap so that he can’t really see the green of her eyes. But he can see the timid, hesitant smile, and he never wants her to be hesitant to see him again.

“How did you – ”

She holds up a key. “I have a key. Figured it was still okay for me to use it.”

“Yeah, love.” Killian smiles and grabs a clean hand towel to dry off his hair so he’s not soaking wet. “That’s perfectly fine.”

“Good. So why does it smell like Little Debbie threw up in here?”

“Stress baking. Do you want a cookie? Or brownies? I have a large parfait. There’s also a cake that was meant for…the other day, but it’s a damn mess.”

Emma lets out a small laugh and shakes her head while her hand reaches for the chain around her neck, her fingers fumbling with it. His breath hitches at the sight. Over the past few days, his hand has instinctively clutched for it, reaching out and trying to find something to hold onto, and every time he comes up empty. He gave that to Emma because he wanted her to have it, and nothing about that has changed.

His mom would want her to have it. She’d love Emma. Killian doesn’t remember that much about her, but he knows that she would love Emma. They have that same kind spirit and an infectious laugh that makes everyone else in the room want to laugh along.

Bloody breathtaking.

And hopefully the ring brought her luck and comfort when she got to commentate the other day, and hopefully she knew that he was cheering her on the entire time. He still hasn’t heard how that went. He almost watched the replay of the game so that he could see for himself, but it felt wrong to do that without Emma and to know that most of the tape would be focused on his injury anyways.

That’s not how it should be.

And maybe a part of him couldn’t handle hearing her voice as she had to speak after seeing him leave the mound.

“I might want a cookie later,” Emma says, shrugging her shoulder. “I feel like if I start eating now, I’ll consume everything like I’m a vacuum.”

“Isn’t that how you usually eat?”

She’s closer now, so he can see her roll her eyes. “I’m still mad at you, so I’d watch what you say.”

That sobers Killian up, the playful smile tugging at his lips disappearing into a firm line, and he nods his head while his left hand reaches up to scratch behind his head. “Aye. Do you want to go talk in the living room?”

“Yeah.”

Emma turns on her heel and walks out of his bedroom, and he’s following right behind her. As much as his stomach is absolutely churning right now, Killian knows that the sooner they have this talk, the better. Unless, of course, it ends with Emma ending things between them. That’s not for the better. If it’s what she wants, it’s what she wants, but he can’t believe that it’s for the better even if he is an idiot who likes to mess things up.

Emma grabs her throw blanket from the basket and sits down in his oversized arm chairarmchair, settling herself in like she’s comfortable here, and he likes that she’s still comfortable here. That comforts him. Killian doesn’t grab a blanket, but he does sit down on the couch and pull a pillow to his chest so that he has something for his hands to do.

Is his heart still working? He’s not sure.

“How’s your arm?” Emma starts. This is probably the conversation she feels most comfortable with, and he doesn’t blame her.

“It’s okay. I need to ice it soon, but I’ll be fine. Just a lot of resting it, which is harder than I thought it would be.”

“Do you want to ice it now?”

“No, no, Swan. It’s fine. I promise. I know – I’m sorry that I lied to you.” They aren’t the words Killian meant to say quite yet, but he does mean them. “I truly am. I can’t express how much of an idiot that I am. I hid away something really damn important from everyone when I should have shared it the first time my arm started hurting. I should have gone through the steps of preventing this. I should have told you what really happened with my accident. I should have told you everything that I didn’t tell you, and I can’t imagine how shitty it makes you feel that I didn’t.”

Emma scoffs. “Pretty shitty.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I just – ” She lets out a big sigh and adjusts the blanket over her legs again. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I know you’re sorry, and I believe you when you say that. I’m sorry that you’ve been going through all of this alone and that you haven’t felt like you could tell someone, but it did…it does hurt me that you couldn’t tell me. People have always let me down, and – ”

“I never intended to let you down.”

Emma smiles, something soft and a little sad, and he swears that it breaks his heart the slightest bit. “I know that. It took running far too much, eating my weight in food, and then having Ruby talk some sense into me, but I know. And it’s why I’m going to choose to see the best in you.”

Good.

Good. This is going a hell of a lot better than he thought it would, but he’s still terrified that maybe he doesn’t deserve this forgiveness from her.

“And I you.”

“I mean, there wasn’t a lot of bad to see about me.”

Killian laughs, for what is probably the first time in days, and something inside of him rights itself so that the pieces of the puzzle continue to click into place instead of being all mixed together.

“Well, not in this particular situation, no.”

Emma’s smile is a little more hopeful now, and he watches it change as she tugs on the brim of her baseball cap. “Why didn’t you tell anyone, Killian? Be honest with me. If we’re going to continue to make this work, and I really do want to make this work, you have to be honest with me. I’m done with guys who aren’t honest.”

He knew this question was coming, has had to answer it before, but no answer seems like it’s enough. They all fall short, and he knows that’s because he fell short in who everyone was expecting him to be. In who he was expecting himself to be too.

“I was scared. That sounds like such a pathetic excuse, but it’s my truth. I have been through a hell of a lot of ups and downs in the past nine years, and I had finally gotten out of the downs when the accident happened. I worked so damn hard, love. I – ” He stops to take a breath, still at a loss for words since it all sounds ridiculous and yet makes perfect sense in his mind. “I finally had my life back on track. Things were going really well for me, and I was pissed that it was all taken away from me because some kids were drunk and driving a boat. I didn’t think I’d ever get the game back, but I did, you know? I was on top of the world, so when my arm started to hurt again, despite all of my better judgment, I figured if I never said anything, I’d never have it all taken away from me. And not telling you about any of it…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want you to think of me as being any more broken than I already am.”

That’s it. That’s his truth. There’s no altering it or making it better or making him seem like less of an idiot. That’s simply it.

Emma said she’d see the best in him. He hopes that’s true.

For a moment he thinks it’s not because Emma is rising from her chair, and he fully expects her to walk out the door despite everything they’ve already said today and when they talked in Elsa’s office. But she doesn’t leave. Instead, she walks toward him and very slowly places her knees on either side of his thighs and leans down to sit on his lap so that they’re nearly eye level when the palms of her hands land on his cheeks and he can finally see the green of her eyes again underneath her baseball cap.

He’s now realizing the cap is his.

And it feels really damn good to feel the touch of Emma’s hands again. That’s also what has him wrapping his arms around her lower back and tugging her closer while Emma continues to rub her thumbs under his eyes in soothing circles.

“Killian, I am obviously not the most emotionally equip person in the world and am not the best with words, but you have to know that you and me, we both have shitty pasts. We both have things that we’re terrified of and sensitive to, and I think that’s why we work. You understand that I’m not going to leap head first into things, and I understand that you have this weird sense of self-loathing that you shouldn’t have. You were terrified of losing something you love. I would be too.”

“You were pretty damn good with words there.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things.”

“I like you thinking.”

“Funny, most men don’t.”

Killian chuckles and leans forward to rest his head against Emma’s shoulder, and he takes the moment to breathe her in and breathe in the smell of her perfume. The pillow next to his has smelled like hers for the past few days, but it’s nothing compared to the real thing.

“I’m not going to lie to you again,” he mumbles into her skin while her hands start messing with his hair so that vibrations are running down his spine. “Or my family. Or my teammates. I promise I’ll be smarter, yeah?”

He tilts his head up to look at Emma, and he’s about to say something else when she leans forward and presses her mouth to his. He’s kissed her hundreds of times, probably more than that – he’s not counting – but there’s something different about the way that her mouth moves over his now. It’s slower, more passionate even if he knows it isn’t leading to something more than this, and the raw emotion of it all travels from his lips to the pit of his stomach before moving back up to his heart and constricting it.

But in the best way.

Killian has missed her.

He has missed the sound of her laugh and the way that she hogs the entire couch. He has missed the way she tastes and the fact that she never seems to put her dishes away on time. He has missed the notebooks she leaves around with all of her mid-game scribbling and the way that she can’t seem to make up her mind on what she wants to eat for dinner. Barely any time has passed, but not knowing exactly what’s coming next even more than usual has put a hell of a lot of things in perspective for him.

His love for Emma is one of the most important things in his life, and he doesn’t want to ever jeopardize it again by not being able to own up to his past and how it still has a stranglehold on his present.

Killian gently pecks her lips one, two, three times before trailing along the side of her neck and peppering kisses against her skin, never moving his hands from where they’re holding her to him.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, the desperation obvious in his own ears. “You have no idea.”

“I think I might have a bit of an idea,” Emma laughs as he leans back to look at her again, the brightest smile he’s seen all day stretched across her lips. “I love you too, by the way. But I still hope everyone you know gives you shit about this whole thing until we all know for sure that you’re not going to keep hiding things as important as your health.”

“I would expect nothing less,” he sighs. “Now, I don’t know about you, Swan, but my girlfriend had a very big day at work the other day, and I still haven’t heard about it.”

“Oh, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, no. I want to hear every detail. I almost watched the tape, but I figured that’d be a little miserable hearing your voice while watching myself be an idiot on the field.”

“Yeah, that would probably suck.”

“Exactly. So, tell me all about it. I’m all ears.” Emma opens her mouth, but he stops her. “Aye, I know – little pointy ones.”

Emma does tell him all about it. For a few minutes, she’s kind of fumbling around trying to find her storytelling stride, but then she settles in and knows exactly where she’s going with her tale. She’s not one to talk a lot, even when it comes to him, but when it’s something that Emma is passionate about, she could talk for hours without taking a breath.

Emma is passionate about this.

He can tell in the way the smile on her face rarely dissipates and with how she keeps using her hands far more often than she normally was. Plus, her voice gets that little bit higher in pitch, and he has to bite his tongue not to tease her about it. He also has to bite his tongue when she starts detailing all of the petty little ways that Isaac and James tried to demean her instead of acting like professionals. Emma promises that it wasn’t too bad, but Killian can tell that their little digs bothered her, especially the ones about her integrity and him.

Killian shudders at the thought of their relationship becoming public because of the hell hole that it’ll put Emma into no matter how respected she is in her field by those who actually know what they’re talking about.

A part of that will always be on him and his actions of ten months ago, but he’s under strict instructions not to apologize for that again. And right nownow isn’t about him and his own self-loathing. He’s already taken away days of both of their lives for that, and he’s not going to do that any longer.

Right here, right now…this is about Emma finally getting to do something she’s dreamed about.

He does get up in the middle of her going on about what it was like after his injury – which sounds more than horrific for her – to get his ice pack, and that causes them to trail off onto all of the exact details of his tendonitis and his treatment. He promises Emma that it’s truly not that bad, but that his case is a little bit more intense with his history and the particular severity of it all. That’s when she asks him when exactly it hurts, and the pain on her face when he tells her he can feel it pretty much any time he moves his right arm more than a few inches is not a pained face he wants to keep on seeing from her.

But it only gets worse when Killian details that sometimes it’s so bad that it wakes him up from sleep, and Emma starts to piece together all of the times she’s woken up in the middle of the night to find him out of bed at odd hours.

Bloody idiot. That’s exactly what he is.

It’ll get better though, with rest and physical therapy and a little bit of luck, and as much as it sucks, it could be worse. This could all be worse. He’s not going to let it, though, as he’s not going to be dumb enough to not get treatment and to keep pushing himself further than his physical limits.

And as much as Killian would like to be able to hover over Emma and roll his hips into hers and join their bodies together after what feels like forever apart even if it’s only a few days, he knows that he’s not quite physically able to today. Emma, though, the spirited lass that she is, lets a smirk curl across her lips as she directs him back to his bedroom and tells him to lie on his back as she takes the lead so that he doesn’t have to move his shoulder too much.

Creative solutions have always been the best solutions.

It’s glorious being joined with Emma again, feeling her warmly wrapped around him as she moves above him in slow circles that have him dying in the haze of ecstasy. His mom’s ring falls between her breasts with each movement, and his good arm reaches up to toy with it. She’s going particularly slow, each roll of her hips seemingly meaning something deeper, and as good as it feels, a part of him thinks it’s some kind of torture since she knows he can’t do most of the things he’s usually capable of doing.

The sly smile on her face when he tries to thrust up into her and go deeper inside of her tells him that he’s right.

The minx.

And if slow and steady is what Emma wants, it’s exactly what she’ll get. She’s always been one to take charge.

The heat simmering between them must eventually begin to burn, however, because the rolls of her hips become faster and she places his hand where they’re joined so that he can help her find her bliss in the few minutes before he finds his, little shocks of electricity working down to the base of his spine as he comes undone with Emma’s name on his lips and his love for her curling around each and every other word that he manages to mutter.

Almost losing her, even if he didn’t think this would truly tear them apart despite the way his mind kept convincing him that it would, has made him appreciate Emma in ways that he hadn’t before.

He thought he appreciated her in every way, but there are always things to learn.

“I have so many damn cookies,” Killian laughs later, after they’ve cleaned up and crawled back under the covers, a new pack of ice on his shoulder and his body pleasurably aching. “I have no idea what I’m going to do with them.”

Emma laughs against his chest where she’s curled up, her hand over his heart and her feet tucked in between his calves so that they’re back where they belong. “I would say I could take them with me on the road trip, but then I’d have to check a bag to get them with me through TSA. Or maybe not. I’m always confused on the food thing.”

Oh.

He’d nearly forgotten that life was moving on outside of his bedroom and this bed and the freckles scattered over Emma’s skin. The only clothing she has on is the necklace, and he’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

“So, you are going to Boston then?”

Emma hums. “And then Detroit after that. I have off for the Blue Jays, though, so I’ll be coming back home instead of going to Canada.”

His hand scratches against her back, drawing lines and words and anything that he can simply to feel her again. “I hate that I’m not going to be traveling with you.”

“It’s going to be kind of weird,” she whispers before pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “I’m going to have a hotel bed to myself.”

“To be fair, you pretty much always have the bed to yourself even when I am around.”

“You have been forgiven for about two hours now, and you’re already talking shit about my bed hogging. That’s a bold move there, Jones.’

“Oh, I know,” he yawns, his lack of sleep catching up to him even if it’s only six in the evening, “but I’ve slept alone for a few days now, and let me tell you, it’s glorious.”

Emma scoffs against his chest before sitting up so that she’s looking down at him under her mess of wild blonde hair that’s curling over her chest. “You’re being an ass.”

“Well, we have undoubtedly decided that I am an ass, right?”

“Pretty much.”

Emma’s arms stretch over her head, the muscles of her stomach on display, before she’s rolling off of the bed and standing up so that he has a particular good view of her ass that has his body humming. But then she’s walking to his dresser and pulling out a t-shirt to put on. She obviously pulled it from the back because it’s an older one he hasn’t seen in years, and he imagines he’ll probably never see it again with Emma’s penchant for stealing his things.

“You going somewhere, love?”

“Yeah,” she sighs as the t-shirt lifts from her thighs when she’s pulling her hair back up into a messy bun on the top of her head. “You have a bowl of icing in your kitchen, and the TV in the living room is better than the TV in here. If we’re not going to the US Open because I don’t want to leave this apartment until I absolutely have to, I’m going to watch it here.”

“Do you want me to join you?”

“Eh,” she teases, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t really care. Apparently, I am a bed hog, so I’m leaving you here to have the entire bed by yourself while I go lounge about on the couch eating the sweets you made while you were mooning over me.”

“You’re impossible.”

Emma winks. “And you love me for it.”

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

94 notes · View notes