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trblsvt · 10 months

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in this life | choi seungcheol

summary | honestly, you didn’t really care what choi seungcheol did anymore. but, when his mom called you saying there was an accident, you found yourself at the foot of his bed. genre | fluff, angst, hurt/comfort; exes!au warnings | swearing, mentions of hospitals, injuries from an accident (not life threatening), mentions of drinking, suggestive… for like a flashback, nudity (non-sexual and not descriptive), miscommunication possibly…, jealousy…, insecurities/self-doubt word count | 13.47k words pairing | choi seungcheol x fem!reader minli | lowercase intended i literally have nothing to say about this. sort of a monster to write. i had so many ideas for this, yet little brainpower to execute! it was a fun concept and the longest fic i’ve written for this blog… italics mean flashback or past event… update | i forgot a few things to tag under warnings, sorry :( they have been added

you were doing great, just great. it started raining when you left your umbrella back at your apartment. you were late to work, and you spilled your coffee on the way out of the door. things were great, and it had been seven months since you and your boyfriend called it quits.

you’d like to say it ended in a big blaze of glory, something movie-like, but it was just the opposite. you had sat down with seungcheol and told him that you were unhappy. he was always too busy and refused to make time for anything other than his work. as for you, well you were tired. when you told him, he sort of just looked at you blankly and just shrugged.

he fucking shrugged. great. so that was it. you just stared at him blankly. he wasn’t even going to put up a fight. two years down the drain.

“so that’s it?” you had asked before you left.

“yeah, i guess so,” he had replied.

and that’s how it ended, you packed up your stuff and went back to your apartment. you technically weren’t living with seungcheol, you still had your lease and whatever, but you spent a lot of time at seungcheol’s.

you finally made it to the office and clocked in. nothing important was going on today which was nice, but also this meant your day was going to be endlessly boring. at least it was friday.

you sat down and logged into your computer. “shouldn’t you change your home screen?” a voice startled you out of your thoughts of the hours to come. you spun around in your chair and stared at your friend minjeong. you looked between her and your computer screen. you knew what she was talking about, but you decided to play dumb. “what are you talking about?” you asked. minjeong sort of glared at you.

“that’s from your vacation to jeju,” she frowned.

the same vacation seungcheol took you on.

“yeah, it’s a sunset for jeju. what about it?” you huffed. she didn’t respond, just gave you a look. you knew that look. it was the “i know better than you, why aren’t you listening to me?” look. “seungcheol isn’t even in this picture,” you defended your screensaver.

“but seungcheol was there. that’s a memory with seungcheol,” she countered. she was right. you probably should’ve changed it, but whether it was with seungcheol or not, it was a nice picture. “yeah, it is, but we’re on good terms so what’s the big deal?” you blurted out.

there was the “you’re such a liar” look. “really? when’s the last time you talked to seungcheol since you broke up?” she entertained you even though you both knew you hadn’t contacted seungcheol once since you broke up. “well, it’s not like i keep track or anything, that would be weird,” you brushed her off. you could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “seriously, ___, i don’t think this is healthy for you to still keep remnants of your relationship with him around. it’s going to prevent you from moving on,” she explained.

“i know, just- just give me a little time,” you sighed.

“time? it’s been seven months! how about we go out tonight? you can get your sights on some new man. i think i overheard that changkyun is going out tonight at that new bar.”

“now why would i be interested in where changkyun is going tonight?” you scoffed. minjeong had a theory that changkyun had been crushing on you since he first joined the company, but you were too “lovesick” with seungcheol to see. “he’s so into you! i’m not saying to marry the guy, just take your mind off seungcheol. it’s his loss anyway,” minjeong laughed.

you wanted to believe that, you really did.

you had every intention of going out with minjeong, but the day was going on so momentously, you weren’t sure if you could stand up straight for another second. you both had to unexpectedly stay longer and work overtime, and it might have been the death of you. you heard minjeong’s cheery humming coming around the corner. “are you ready to get absolutely wasted?” she smiled.

“i was going for more of a buzzed thing,” you yawned.

“oh no, don’t do that. you get so quiet when you’re tired before you drink,” she whined. you looked at her, but she was right. you had about three different moods when you were drunk. one, loud. two, quiet. three, insane. and most of the time, the way you ended up correlated to how you were feeling before you drank. you couldn’t explain it, but it just happened.

you were about to offer a clever rebuttal when your phone started ringing. “one second,” you didn’t even bother to check the caller id. “hello?” you replied.

“ah, ___ thank you for answering,” a familiar voice floated through the phone. you paused. you pulled your phone away from your ear and looked at the name on the call.

mrs. choi.

“mrs. choi, hello, i wasn’t expecting you to call me,” you said almost breathlessly. you glanced over at minjeong and she stared at you, wide-eyed. “___, dear. i’m so glad you picked up. i need you to come over,” she sighed. she sounded tired like she had been crying. wait. she wanted you to come over? for what? “come over? what’s going on? is everyone okay?” you asked, logging off your computer and placing the few things you took out of your bag, back into the bag.

“i have hope that it will be. seungcheol was in a car accident.”

you apologized profusely to minjeong and left the office rushing to the seungcheol’s apartment. you knew the way to his apartment, to him, like the back of your hand. you punched the code in that bypassed the need to be buzzed in, and made your way to the elevator.

after you pressed the button to the fifth floor of the complex you felt your hands become inexplicably sweaty. why did you rush over here like a lovesick fool? you weren’t even dating him anymore. why did his mom call you? what was going on? the elevator dinged, alerting you that it was time to get out.

you made your way down to his apartment. 5-12. it looked the same since the last time you were there. you stared at the door. it had been so long since you had been there. your heart was beating so fast, you didn’t know what to do. so, you just knocked.

the door flew open almost instantly. “___, my dear, come in,” mrs. choi welcomed you warmly. you smiled and bowed slightly. when you stepped through the doorway your first instinct was to run away, but you couldn’t. you kicked your shoes off and followed mrs. choi in the direction of seungcheol’s bedroom.

she lightly grasped at your arm. “the car crash happened a couple days ago. we just got out of the hospital. he broke his right leg. it was jammed against the dash and steering wheel. he also has a bruised lung from the airbag, and a mild concussion from the collision,” she explained. you nodded. that sounded awful. where did he crash? did someone crash into him, or did he crash into someone else?

almost reading your mind, she added, “he didn’t hurt anyone else. it was raining the other day. it was dark and his car hydroplaned into a barrier. the cops thought it might’ve been a drunk driving incident since they found newly bought alcohol in the back of his car, but there wasn’t any in his system.”

you were still rendered speechless. seungcheol was the safest driver you knew. he always warned you about hydroplaning and what to do if it happened. why didn’t he do what he always told you?

you realized you were spaced out when mrs. choi rested a hand on your shoulder. “i was surprised that you didn’t come the other day, but seungcheol insisted that you were away on a trip of some sort. he didn’t want me to call you, but you’re his girlfriend! i had to tell you at some point, and you’re obviously back in town,” she exclaimed. “thank you so much for coming, ___. i don’t know where seungcheol would be without you.”

you’re his girlfriend.

what the fuck?

you certainly were not his girlfriend anymore. why did she think you were together? it had been seven months. mrs. choi was sharp, she wouldn’t accidentally slip and say you were his girlfriend unless that is if…

then it dawned on you.

for whatever reason, seungcheol never told his mom the two of you broke up.

fuck.

seungcheol was sick. he was more than sick. he was hurt, physically. and his mom only wanted what was best for her son. she brought you here for something. you weren’t about to make this poor woman’s day worse by telling her you weren’t dating seungcheol anymore, so you played along. “yes, i just got back from a business trip. i always tell seungcheol to call me if something’s the matter. i’m so glad you called me, i wasn’t going to come over for another day or two because of his work schedule,” you pretended. she looked at you fondly. “i always knew you were a good one, ___,” she smiled. it pained you to lie to her, but it seemed like the best option for now.

“we just got back from the hospital a few hours ago. he’s all set up in there. i’m not sure if he’s awake now, but do you want to see him?” she asked. you nodded quietly. you didn’t know what you were going to do in front of seungcheol. you preferred not to think about it.

“before you go in, i have a large favor to ask you. i understand you’re a busy person, but if you could, oh my i feel so embarrassed to ask this. if you could stay with him for a while. take some time off and take care of him because i really cannot stay. my father is ill and i must return home to care for him,” she laughed bitterly. “i would stay, and i would never dream of dumping this sort of responsibility on just anyone, but you’re his girlfriend. not saying girlfriends and wives are only meant for taking care of husbands and boyfriends, but i know you care about seungcheol. i just thought it-”

“yes, i can do that,” you cut her off. why did you say that? “i can contact my manager and work remotely.” why do you keep saying things like this? suddenly mrs. choi’s arms were around you. “thank you, thank you, thank you, dear. i am so grateful for you, and i know my son is too. thank you! i must get going, but i already stocked the fridge. you can go in. once again, thank you so much. our family owes you so much,” she cried. you rubbed her back. “oh, don’t say that. you don’t owe me anything. i’m just happy he’s alright,” you whispered.

that was the first truthful thing you said in that entire interaction.

when you entered the room, mrs. choi accompanied you. seungcheol was awake. he stared longingly out the window on the opposite side of the room away from the door. “honey, there’s someone here to see you,” mrs. choi called gently. you wanted to hide, so you tried to. partially behind her and you looked over her shoulder. seungcheol tried to adjust himself and he slowly turned over to look at his mother. “mom, i really didn’t want to see anyone-” he began, but his eyes met yours and he froze.

“oh come on, darling, it’s ___. she’s agreed to help out some. she cares about you,” she cooed. seungcheol looked like a child who got caught going through the cookie jar.

due to the dim light, you couldn’t really see that well, but you noticed the large soft cast that he had on his right leg. it looked like he was having a hard time breathing, that was the bruised lung. he had some cuts on his face that had already scabbed over, but you noticed some dark spots on his pillow, maybe he had been picking at them. he had a habit of picking at his scabs.

but the most striking thing to you was how pale he was. he looked like a ghost, which was strange since seungcheol loved to go outside to read or watch people. what had changed since you left? you noticed a wheelchair and a pair of crutches.

“mom, i- why did you call, ___? i told you she was busy,” seungcheol asked weakly. before his mom could nag him, you decided that you could save this entire situation from becoming more awkward than it needed to be. “cheol, don’t you remember? i came back yesterday, but i knew you were going to be busy with work,” you forced a smile. you thought you were going to throw up his mother grinned and squeezed your hand. she made her way over to seungcheol’s closet and started rummaging through it looking for something.

you looked back at seungcheol and it looked like he might cry. his eyes yelled at you, what are you doing here?

if you were honest you weren’t sure.

you saw mrs. choi out while she continued to thank you profusely for looking about for seungcheol. “of course, no need to worry. seungcheol is safe with me,” you assured.

“what would i do without you, ___? i hope someday you can join the family officially. i mean you’ve been dating seungcheol for over two years now,” she grinned hugging you.

yeah, i did too, you thought.

she left and instructed you to just heat something up that she left in the fridge. you locked the door behind you and made your way into the kitchen. you pulled out a tray of noodles and plated them. she left you a few tips about seungcheol so you decided to look at it.

he has work off, so no need to worry about driving him to work. once he is better and the doctors clear his concussion can start working from home.

please make sure he is eating three meals a day. he’s been acting differently and hasn’t been eating as much.

for showers, there’s a cover for the cast because he can’t get it wet. i set up a chair in his shower, so he should need minimal help in that area. maybe just changing.

pain medications are in the cabinet next to the fridge. dosage is two tablets every six hours. but, if he isn’t hurting that much give him one, or if he isn’t in any pain don’t worry about it.

he has a doctor’s appointment in a couple of weeks to see how his leg is healing is progressing.

thank you so much <3 call me if you need anything

you frowned at the second one. not eating well? seungcheol always ate well. this seemed pretty manageable. you had already called your supervisor, who approved your request to work remotely. you did have to lie and say you were taking care of a family member, but otherwise, it was a mostly truthful story.

when you put the sheet down, the microwave had finished and you brought the plate into seungcheol’s room. he wasn’t looking in your direction, instead, he was looking out the window. “seungcheol, i brought you dinner. your mom made it,” you announced. no response. you huffed and looked around the room. you didn’t want to push him, but you needed him to eat. “i know you’re not sleeping. you’ll heal faster if you eat. your mom needs you to eat,” you continued. yet, to no avail, he still stared out the window, body closed off to you. you sighed, you wished it didn’t have to come to this. “seungcheol, i need you to eat. please, for me,” you pleaded. there was a slight shift, but still no response. “well, i’ll just leave it here, but eat it soon. it’ll get cold,” you sighed, placing the plate on the nightstand where he could reach it.

why did you sign up for this? it wasn’t like you owed him anything. why didn’t you just tell his mom you were broken up? so many questions were flooding your mind, so you almost missed his whispered question. “what, did you say? i’m sorry, i missed it,” you asked, turning around from the door.

“do you- do you have something to eat?” he asked, breath labored.

something in your heart stuttered.

you silently nodded.

“that’s good,” was all he said.

it was almost 9:00 pm. you had your plate of food, and you thought it would be best to run over to your apartment to pick up some clothes and belongings, especially since you were supposed to live here for a while. you would run in and check with seungcheol and let him know you were leaving and then you’d be back in thirty minutes.

you knocked on the door, but no response. you hoped that it wasn’t going to be like this for the rest of his recovery. “i’m coming in, seungcheol,” you called opening the door.

but when you entered you were met with an empty bed. your eyebrows furrowed. you noticed the empty plate of his dinner. then you noticed his wheelchair was gone, and the faint glow of light from under the bathroom door.

you didn’t hear the shower running, so maybe he was just using the bathroom. yet, something in your gut told you otherwise. you made your way over to the bathroom door and pressed your ear against it. you heard quiet sniffling.

oh.

“seungcheol? are you in there?” you asked. dumb question, but you didn’t know what else to lead with. no response. “seungcheol, are you okay?” obviously not. “seungcheol, if you don’t answer me, i’m coming in.”

“no, please. please don’t come in,” he responded finally. “i’m fine.”

“no you’re not. i can help, seungcheol. let me help. what’s going on?” you called. there was a hesitation before he spoke, “i- i don’t know how to do this.”

“what is this?” you asked again for clarification.

“cleaning. i don’t know to do it with this thing on my leg.” that made sense. you already knew he was going to need help with that. you just wished he would’ve come to you first. “can i come in?” you hoped he would say yes.

“no,” he said.

“why not?”

“i don’t want you to see me like this.”

“this isn’t the time to act modest. i’m here to help.” there was a deep sigh on the other side of the door. finally, you heard some shuffling and the door was open. you walked in and took in your surroundings. seungcheol was without a shirt and pants. he sat slumped in his wheelchair as he quickly tried to wipe his tears. you saw some bruises that covered his abdomen. you also noticed how he looked skinnier. that must be why his mom wanted to make sure he was eating. the cover for his cast was sitting on the counter, so you grabbed it.

you knelt down next to him, he wasn’t looking at you. you looked into the shower and noticed the shower chair. “seungcheol, i’m gonna put a towel under you right now, so can you lift yourself up a little?” you said grabbing a towel to put onto the seat of the wheelchair. he did, and you tried your best to arrange it. “can you stand at all?” you asked. he huffed and pushed himself up, and used you as a brace.

you guided him into his walk-in shower and helped him sit down. you paused and looked at him closely. he looked so tired, which was expected, but there was something else there. you just couldn’t put your finger on it. “i need you to take off your underwear, unless you want to shower in them,” you directed. he glared at you and mumbled something. “what was that?” you asked.

“i don’t-” he began.

“now is not the time to be modest,” you chided.

“no! i don’t want you to see me like this! i don’t want you to see me all broken and bruised! it’s not right that my mother asked you to do this! just leave! i know you don’t want to be here, so just go. it’s already humiliating enough,” he heaved. you felt your jaw tighten and your fingers clawed at your sides. you didn’t want to respond to that, at least not at that moment. “take off your underwear, seungcheol,” you ordered, crossing your arms. he finally looked at you in your eyes, and he pushed his underwear off. you had to help him get it over his cast, but otherwise, it was seamless. next, you grabbed the cast cover which was essentially a glorified plastic bag, and slid it over his bandaged leg.

seungcheol’s eyes were downcast again, and he refused to acknowledge you. his shower head was detachable and handheld, so you took it down and placed it closer to him. he still wasn’t looking at you. although you really needed to get some stuff from your apartment, you could stay. when you started rolling up your sleeves on your work blouse and slipping out of your house slippers, seungcheol stared at you incredulously. you stepped into the shower and turned on the water. you made sure the head was facing the ground as you waited for it to warm up. “what are you doing?” he asked. he almost sounded angry, but that could be addressed later. you snatched the washcloth that was hanging on a hook inside the shower and found his shampoo and conditioner. he leaned over and grabbed your wrist, it wasn’t harsh or forceful, just him. “what are you doing?” he repeated.

“taking care of you,” you said shortly. “now close your eyes. tell me if it’s too hot.” he released your wrist and there was that look again. you had to figure out what that was about. you raised the shower head and soaked his hair, and promptly began to lather his shampoo into his hair. he seemed to relax at that. you ran your hands through his hair like you used to. he liked it when you tugged at his strands. it brought him a comfort he couldn’t describe. yet, his hair was shorter now, not the longer strands that you were used to. you wondered what made him cut it, but you knew now wasn’t the time to ask about it.

the rest of the shower went without any hitch. your hands running over the broad expanse of his back. something about that moment was so domestic, intimate, yet you knew you couldn’t have it the way you wanted it. the way you wanted him. so, you pushed it down, just like the way you did when you noticed him distancing himself from you and drowning himself in his work.

you helped him get into some clean clothes and bed after he brushed his teeth and dried his body. after you brought him his pain medication with a glass of water to stick next to his bed, you were about to go out and run to your apartment. he saw you rustling around in your bag that you left in his room. “what are you doing?” he asked.

“looking for my keys,” you replied.

“why?”

“so i can go home and grab some things. i’ll be working from home, i mean, i’ll be working here while i help you.” god, why did you call his apartment home? it hadn’t been your home for so long. “i’ll be back soon. i’ll be quiet when i come back so just sleep.”

“no, don’t go.”

“pardon?”

“don’t go.” he stared at you like a petulant child. was this a symptom of a concussion? “seungcheol, i have to go get some of my things. i don’t really want to sleep in my work clothes,” you tried to reason with the pouting man.

“you left some of your clothes. t-shirts and stuff. sweatpants. just wear that. it’s too late for you to leave now. it wouldn’t be safe,” he shrugged but winced. that was the bruised lung. you didn’t know you left your things over, if you did you would’ve made one more trip to pick them up.

but…

seungcheol didn’t throw out the clothes you left behind. was he stashing them in case he had another girl come over that needed to borrow clothes? was he saving them for a special time to burn them? why did he keep your clothes?

no matter, it was no use arguing with seungcheol, and you were tired. you hadn’t even had time to process the fact he had been in an accident, to begin with. “where?” you asked turning back around.

“in my closet, where your clothes usually are.” he looked at you like it was obvious. why would it be obvious? you wanted to scream. a normal person after a breakup usually burns the things their ex left behind, or they maybe just throw them out on the street. they don’t keep it in the same place in the closet. you breathed deeply to calm your mind. now was not the time to address the elephant in the room. “i’ll be getting a shower then,” you said, eyeing him suspiciously. he just nodded and turned to face the window.

the shower was uneventful other than the thousands of thoughts flowing through your mind. you hoped that they would leave you and flow down the drain. when you finally got out of the shower, you realized you would have to walk through seungcheol’s bedroom to get to the couch. hopefully, he was knocked out. you slid on the clothes that you had left there. it was an old sweatshirt and pajama bottoms, but it would get the job done for the night. the smelled like they were cleaned with his detergent, and you weren’t sure if you loved it or if you wanted it off of your body forever. you tried the best you could to open the door as quietly as possible, and it seemed to work. you were basically out the door without seungcheol waking up or noticing you. that is until he did. “where are you going?” he asked. you hung your head, your hand leaving the doorknob. “to the couch,” you replied.

“why?”

now, there was something seriously wrong with him. you glanced around the room, searching for an answer. “because i’m going to sleep on the couch,” you scrutinized him a bit further. he stared at you with the same confusion. he seemingly picked up on the mutual tension and confusion in the air, “i’ll sleep on the couch, you sleep here,” he clarified. you choked on air. he must have more than a concussion, he had amnesia of some sort because you don’t just let your ex sleep in your bed, especially after you had been in a serious accident.

you had to snap yourself out of the trance you were in before seungcheol could even attempt to get out of bed, which he was already in the process of trying. rushing over to him and pushing him back under the covers was more of a feat than you thought it was going to be. he seemed adamant about having you stay in his bed while he went to the couch. you were getting deja vu or something to the fights leading up to the end of your relationship.

“no, i’ll take the couch,” he had insisted.

“no, this is your home and your bed. i’ll just stay on the couch since you don’t want me to go to my apartment,” you had refused. “talk in the morning?”

“yeah sure.”

“no, you’re the guest here, i’ll take the couch,” he shrugged, once again trying to push himself up. you placed a hand on his shoulder. “seungcheol, i wasn’t the one in a car accident,” you reasoned. “you won’t be comfortable on the couch.”

“just- just let me do something for you,” he muttered under his breath. you don’t think you were supposed to hear it, but you did.

“the best thing you can do for me is to sleep in your own bed and heal.” his gaze lifted and looked at yours. he looked utterly exhausted, and to be honest, you probably looked the same. he inhaled deeply and sat back against his headrest in concession. you smiled at him and before you could stop yourself, you ran your hand through his hair which he happily accepted. “good night, seungcheol,” you said.

“good night,” he replied sounding more at ease. in another lifetime, there would be more to this than a simple good night, but in this lifetime it was different. so much different than you ever hoped for.

“i love you, cheol.”

“i love you too, ___.”

the crick in your back was going to be the death of you, but oh well, you already called into work and took the next week off before you started working remotely. minjeong was surprised that you even agreed to this in the first place. “___, he was an asshole to you,” she pointed out over the phone. you were currently lugging your stuff down the hall to seungcheol’s apartment, phone dangerously stuck between your shoulder and cheek. “he wasn’t an asshole,” you argued. for some reason, the need to defend seungcheol still ran through your veins.

“he was, ___. he was,” minjeong sighed. you knew that she was right, but you needed to believe that the breakup was caused all just a big misunderstanding and move on. “i’ve got to go, minnie,” you sighed reaching seungcheol’s doorway.

“___, don’t- ugh, don’t do anything you’ll regret. he didn’t treat you right. he wasn’t toxic, but he was definitely neglectful to you,” she groaned.

“it’s not like i’m going to crawl back to him. i’m just helping him.”

“but why should you?”

seungcheol had some bad habits, and it didn’t always end up well for you.

“cheol, what are you-” you were promptly cut off when seungcheol pressed his lips against yours with an energy that felt unfamiliar. it was just the average evening, so you didn’t understand why he was kissing you like that. not that he had to have a reason to kiss you, it’s just that it hadn’t happened in so long. you had been with him long enough to know how passionate he was about, well, everything. but, this felt different. not saying it was bad. you craved him being this close for weeks, and he was finally in your grasp. his hands were planted firmly on your waist and he moved you to where he pleased. “come on, baby, just let me feel you,” he smiled against your lips.

call you touch-starved (which you were), but you couldn’t help melting into him. this was the most attention you had felt from him in so long. “cheol, please,” you gasped as his lips traveled down your neck. he pulled you infinitely closer and you let him. yet, something was nagging at you. your stomach began to drop as his hands began to slide under your shirt. sinking suspicions started to bubble up through your heart. “cheol, kiss me,” you begged, not wanting your thoughts to be true. he hummed and obliged. he pressed his lips against yours in this new fervor. the heat between you was becoming unbearable as your suspicion was correct.

beer.

the faint taste of it lingered on his tongue, and it made you want to throw up. for the first time in who knows how long, he touches you like he’s never done before but only because he’s intoxicated. great. you pushed him away. “did you drive home by yourself?” you asked gazing into his tired eyes.

“no, i had joshua drop me off,” he murmured, hands still not leaving your skin, but that’s all you wanted him to do. just get off of me, is what you wanted to yell. how dare you come here drunk and treat me better than you ever have sober for the past months, is what you wanted to scream. “i think it’s time for you to go to bed, cheol,” you opted for instead. he shook his head still grasping at you. “don’t touch me anymore, seungcheol,” you hissed, swatting his hand away and pulling him to his bathroom.

she didn’t sound angry, just exasperated. she had a point. there was no reason why you should offer your help to him. seungcheol never made time for you when you were together, why were you making time for him yet again? it was major deja vu. “look, he wasn’t nice to me, yes. i hated him for a long time, maybe i still do. but, his mom called me, so i feel like i’m doing it for her. not for him,” you attempted to justify. minjeong scoffed. it was a deserved scoff, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. minjeong was there when things ended with seungcheol, so she would know the entire situation from the most unbiased, well sort of unbiased, outside position. she was your friend, and it was only natural for her to want to protect you. you couldn’t fault her for that. “i just want what’s best for you, and i’m not convinced helping him through recovery is the best plan,” she sighed.

“i know. you know he hurt me, i won’t let it happen again. i have no intention of getting back with him. you’re right. he was an asshole. i’ve got to go. talk later?” you asked carefully reaching for the spare set of keys his mom gave you.

“let me kick his ass if he hurts you again.”

“i will.”

“talk later! i’m going to miss you at work. love you!”

“love you too.”

after you successfully hung up without dropping your bags, phone, or keys, you opened the door to the kitchen light on. that’s weird. you were pretty sure you left it off when you went to get your stuff. you kicked off your shoes and made your way into to kitchen, your luggage bag dragging behind you.

you were greeted by seungcheol attempting to push himself up from his wheelchair to wash some fruit in the sink. “seungcheol! what are you doing?” you rushed to his side. he glanced over his shoulder at you. he sort of gave you some dumb look like he didn’t know what was wrong. “you shouldn’t be pushing yourself like this,” you chided. “i can wash these. you need to go back to bed. you should rest.”

“i think i can handle washing some fruit,” he scoffed slumping down in a chair. you rolled your eyes. “it’s not about washing fruit, i know you’re perfectly capable of washing fruit. you were in a car accident a few days ago. you shouldn’t be pushing yourself to get up,” you explained. he just mumbled something under his breath and tried to maneuver his way out of the kitchen. you watched him carefully as he made his way back into his room, and you heard him sigh when he shut the door behind him.

you had a sinking feeling that this was going to be a long recovery process, for the both of you.

it once again time for seungcheol to go to the doctor. the past few weeks had been back and forth to doctor’s appointments. his concussion was going down. to say things were going well would be a stretch. seungcheol barely spoke to you. you didn’t necessarily expect him to be buddy-buddy with you, but it was strange. he always tried to avoid looking at you. you weren’t sure what you did to deserve this treatment, after all, he was the one who broke up with you.

sleeping on the couch for the past weeks was not ideal. working from seungcheol’s home office was not ideal either. it was weird getting on video calls when you were so used to walking to meetings with minjeong. seungcheol tried his best to not disturb you, but sometimes he would knock on the door and sheepishly ask you for help with something.

the drive to the doctor’s and the check-up itself were uneventful. his leg was healing nicely, and they even decided it was time for a boot, which was great because you could tell he was getting sick of sitting down all the time. “well, mr. choi, it looks like your lung is looking a lot better based off of the scans, and according to your…” dr. hwang paused looking in your direction. seungcheol looked at you briefly like was afraid of what you were going to say.

you weren’t necessarily worried about getting kicked out because you weren’t immediate family, but for some reason, you chose against saying you were his friend. “i’m his girlfriend,” you bit the bullet. you hoped it didn’t seem too unnatural when you said it. you saw seungcheol’s ears perk up, but he still didn’t address you.

dr. hwang looked between the two of you seemingly wanting to say something but didn’t. “ah, i see. well you’ve been taking amazing care of mr. choi. according to your girlfriend, you seem to have an easier time breathing. she also said you’re reporting less pain in your head. this is good, since we usually expect swelling and inflammation from a concussion goes down pretty quickly. your concussion should be largely gone by next week, but i would advise against going back to work for some time. you can start walking on this as soon as you feel comfortable, until then use crutches. but, don’t drive until i give you the okay,” dr. hwang rambled, turning back to his computer.

you could tell seungcheol was excited, maybe he was excited that you would be leaving soon. your stomach sank at the thought, but you didn’t know why. seungcheol barely spoke to you, he couldn’t even look you in the eye most of the time. so, why did you feel bad about the thought of leaving him? you were snapped out of your thoughts when you realized dr. hwang had asked you a question. “um, if you could give me a moment alone with mr. choi, that would be great. i can take him out front once we’re done,” dr. hwang fiddled with his pen as he addressed you.

“yeah, of course. i’ll uh, i’ll just be in the waiting room.

after what seemed like an eternity, the two of them came out. dr. hwang smiled at you, and seungcheol looked nervous, finally putting a little weight on his foot with the help of some crutches. “thank you so much, dr. hwang. you’ve been so helpful,” you smiled at him. dr. hwang reciprocated it and patted seungcheol on the back. “mr. choi, look out for yourself. i’ll see you in a few weeks,” he said. seungcheol nodded.

the ride home was quiet, as always. by now you had grown used to it. when you arrived at seungcheol’s apartment and parked the car, he grabbed your hand before you could leave. “do you want to watch a movie tonight?” he asked. hold on, what? “we can order some take out or something.” maybe dr. hwang was wrong. maybe the swelling in his brain was actually worse.

your lack of response must’ve freaked seungcheol out. “we don’t have to! i was just thinking it could be a celebratory thing,” he tried to backtrack.

“no! i’d love- no, i mean, i’d like to watch a movie tonight. that would be nice,” you rushed to cut him off. your heart fluttered at the notion of watching a movie with seungcheol. maybe you could pretend just a little longer…

“what?” minjeong exclaimed. she was not happy with the current situation.

“minnie, when he asked me if i wanted to watch a movie with him my heart fluttered. what’s wrong with me?” you cried, flopping against the couch, turning down the volume on speaker phone. seungcheol had left to get showered and changed. luckily, you didn’t have to help him much with that anymore. “you’re still in love with him, ___,” minjeong sighed. “i feared this would happen. you cannot let him get in your head! remember how he treated you before! just yesterday he wasn’t even speaking with you, he’s probably just manipulating you or something.”

you couldn’t fathom him doing that. sure, he neglected you in your relationship, but he was never manipulative. “i don’t-” you began, but you were promptly cut off.

“you don’t get it, ___! you’re in a vulnerable state because you still love him and you’ve been waiting hand and foot to him, so he sees this as an opportunity to make something out of nothing.”

“if i love him, how is it nothing?”

“because you’re going to make it nothing. you can’t just let yourself fall back into his lap because he decided he wanted a movie night!”

“i don’t think it’s that easy.”

“you’re right, it’s not. that’s why you need to wrap up business there and get back to your life. your life where you can be free and meet whoever you want. where you don’t have to worry about the asshole who treated you like shit.”

“he didn’t treat me like shit.”

“he treated you like you barely even existed.”

you knew she wasn’t trying to be mean, but it did feel like she was opening an old wound.

so much for that dinner you made. the time you wasted was eating at you as you picked through the remnants of your food. it was your first day off in a while and you hoped to spend some of it with your boyfriend before having to go back to work the next day.

it was your bad to even think seungcheol would be home at the time he had said. you stared at seungcheol’s now cold meal. for the fifth time, you flipped your phone over to see what time it was. 11:47 pm and no word from him. you sighed and went to clear your plate. you wrapped up seungcheol’s meal and put it in the fridge. after all, he would be hungry when he got home.

“hello? ___, are you still with me?” minjeong snapped you out of your thoughts.

“yeah, sorry,” you rushed out. “look, i think seungcheol is almost out of the shower. i’ve got to go. i’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“i’m sorry if i come off too cold.” she sounded like she was regretting what she said earlier. she knew how to read you like a book even if it was just over a phone call. “it’s alright. you’re my best friend, i know you wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt me. now, i have to go now, for real this time,” you chuckled and hung up after you said goodbye to her.

you jumped a mile when you heard a clanking noise behind you. when you whipped around you saw seungcheol standing there, eyes wide, you felt something stir in your chest. he was leaning on a crutch with his leg wrapped in the bandages. he told dr. hwang that he wouldn’t wear the boot to bed. dr. hwang was reluctant but relented since the break was healing nicely and the boot wasn’t needed at night. his hair was damp, a plain white t-shirt clung to his body, and pajama pants hung loosely off his hips. something about this image looked so familiar, yet so distant.“sorry,” he mumbled leaning over to pick up the bowl he dropped, surprisingly it didn’t shatter on the hardwood floor. “no, wait, i’ll get it,” you said, pushing forward, frowning at the precarious nature of his stance. he straightened up and watched you pick up the bowl. “how long were you standing there? i could’ve helped,” you asked turning to go place the bowl in the sink.

“not long,” he rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “do you still want to watch a movie with me?” you nodded quietly and made your way to the couch. he followed behind and landed on the couch with a thud. “what do you want to watch?” you asked flipping the tv on.

“um, i’m not sure. i haven’t watched a lot of movies lately.” he shrugged. this was going to be harder than expected. instead of attempting to engage in this painful discussion, you opted to start scrolling through one of seungcheol’s million streaming apps.

you scrolled through movie after movie with varying enthusiasm levels from seungcheol. “stop, let’s just watch this one,” he suddenly said. if you were being honest, you stopped paying attention to the movie titles a long time ago. so when you saw “the notebook” as the selected movie, your jaw slackened. “you want to watch this?” you asked, making sure he meant that.

“i mean, i remembered when you showed me it, and i rewatched it recently. i really like it nowadays,” he said nonchalantly. you had shown him “the notebook” a long time ago. you had to beg him to watch it, and you remembered how he ended up crying by the conclusion. but now, it was strange to hear that he enjoyed the movie. not only that, but he remembered that you showed him the film. it was years ago, and he remembered. “okay, yeah, let’s watch it,” you said pressing play.

you were getting major deja vu while you watched it. seungcheol was curled up next to you, and somehow you found yourself curled up next to him. this hardly happened when you were together, and it made your heart hurt that it was happening after you had broken up. was a car accident what you needed to be close to him? you didn’t need to think about it now, not when you could smell his shampoo and fabric softener. it was so familiar, but you knew you couldn’t get too comfortable. after all, you weren’t his anymore, and he wasn’t interested. yet, something was scratching at the back of your throat. an urge. a desire. a feeling you thought was better to push down.

the movie was long over, but seungcheol had drifted off to sleep about twenty minutes before the movie ended. you didn’t have the heart to wake him, so you let him rest for a while before you lightly shook him awake. his eyes fluttered open and held your gaze with an expression you couldn’t pinpoint. “alright, sleeping beauty, time to get you into bed,” you smiled softly involuntarily running a hand through his hair. he seemingly leaned into your touch while looking around. “is the movie over? why didn’t you wake me?” he asked. you just shushed him quietly and helped him up. he held onto your shoulders and let you guide him to his bed. after a bit of work, you got him under the covers and on his pillow. when you moved to get up, his hand shot out and grasped your wrist. your neck whipped back at him. “what’s wrong?” you quizzed.

“stay,” is all he said, eyes closing.

you sighed. you couldn’t give in to him. you had set your boundaries, you were here to help that’s all. but, the longer you were with him, you realized the reasons why you hated him melted away within hours of being around him more. minjeong needed to be here to snap you out of it. “of course, he’s being nice to you now. don’t forget why you broke up in the first place,” she would’ve said. yet, she wasn’t here, and you were weak for him. as much as you would like to deny it, you knew you’d always crawl back to him. in this life and the next.

there couldn’t be any harm in staying with him, right? it was just one night. he wouldn’t try anything. he wasn’t like that. he didn’t even feel that way for you anymore. he definitely didn’t seem too bothered when you gave in and slid under the covers with him. to your surprise when you started to situate yourself, you felt his arms wrap under your body and pull you to the opposite side of the bed. just like old times. he always insisted to sleep closest to the door. he had told you it was a win-win for the both of you. he could have the comfort of feeling like he was protecting you, and you got the nice view out of his window on the opposite side of the room. you assured him back then that you didn’t need protection, but you never fought with him to switch positions.

you had grown used to his arm around your waist each night, and after you broke up you longed for his presence. you had cuddled your pillows and called minjeong. everything and anything to keep your mind off the empty space in your bed. so, now when you felt his arm wrap around you and his body pressed against yours, you froze. why did the thing you wanted for the past seven months cause you so much discomfort? being this close to him was like stepping into the salty waves at the beach with a cut you thought healed. your eyes began to sting, and you pleaded with your heart to not start shaking your body. you naturally moved closer to him when his grip became tighter around your waist, but your heart cried for the rest of the night.

when you woke up, you surprised yourself realizing you had a dreamless night. your chest hurt, but your eyes were dry. you turned over and noticed seungcheol’s side of the bed was empty. his boot was gone, so he must’ve put it on. you didn’t hear anything coming from the kitchen right outside the room, albeit his apartment was quite small and his living room was right there too. you slid on a hoodie and made your way out of his room to find where he went. maybe he was just as freaked out as you were, so maybe he just left to get some air. if you were him, you probably would’ve done to same. you wanted to kick yourself for falling into his lap again. maybe he regretted inviting you to stay, and now he was disgusted with himself for letting his ex sleep in the same bed as him again. your rational mind told you that wasn’t true. he wasn’t like that. yet, that’s what you told yourself when he show up late to numerous dates or just forget to message you.

you heard quiet arguing as soon as you stepped out of his room. you looked down to the front door and saw seungcheol leaning against the doorframe. his body wedged between the door and doorframe, effectively blocking your view of who was there. you quietly shuffled forward, trying not to startle him. “i just don’t understand why you’re here?” seungcheol asked, almost sounding stern.

“i’m just dropping off some paperwork,” the person on the other side of the door said. the voice sounded familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. “how’d you know where she was?” seungcheol grilled, sounding more frustrated with every passing second.

“look, dude, i’m just here to drop off some stuff from work. minjeong told me,” the guy tried again to reason with seungcheol. you recognized seungcheol’s tone, he got like that whenever he was jealous, but you couldn’t fathom why he would be jealous. you looked past seungcheol and saw changkyun standing there with a case file in hand. “oh my god, seungcheol, stop it. this is changkyun from work,” you nudged seungcheol to the side trying not to surprise him, but you were still upset he was berating your work friend.

“oh, hey, ___. minjeong sent me with these files. let me or minjeong know if you need anything else,” changkyun smiled at you. “i’ll let you go, you seem- um- preoccupied. but, we miss you at the office,” he glanced at seungcheol who was scowling at the ground.

“yeah, sorry about that. thank you for bringing this around. this is super helpful. i was getting tired of reading pdfs,” you laughed. “i’ll see you later.” changkyun nodded and left without another word. you shut the door and brushed past seungcheol. you heard an audible huff behind you but ignored it. after you dropped off the case of files in the office, breakfast was seemingly the best option for you.

seungcheol was already in the kitchen leaning against the fridge. it was highly inconvenient given you needed to get in there for some fruit. however, he wasn’t moving. “what are you doing?” you asked crossing your arms. he didn’t respond, just looking anywhere but at you. “what’s going on with you? what was with that attitude with changkyun?” you grilled, but you were only met with a scoff. now, that was weird. he sounded jealous, but there was nothing to be jealous of. “what’s wrong with you?” you frowned.

“why does it matter?” he mocked. you squinted your eyes at him. compared to last night’s situation, this was an entirely different person. “why does it matter? it’s just weird that he’d show up here unannounced,” seungcheol shrugged.

“he was here because minjeong sent him,” you stared him down.

“why couldn’t she come then? just seems like it’s a cover for him to see you. you didn’t tell me you were talking with someone else.”

“because i’m not talking to changkyun. i’m not talking to anyone. but, why does this matter so much to you? it’s not like he came in the house and started wrecking anything. he just dropped some stuff off.”

“we miss you at the office.”

“what?”

“that’s what he said.”

“i’m not following.”

seungcheol sighed and pushed himself off the fridge and over to his chair, groaning and stretching his leg once he was sitting. “god, ___, don’t be blind. he’s obviously into you,” he laughed humorlessly. now you were even more confused. “so what if he is? i’m not,” you shrugged, opening the fridge to get your fruit and yogurt.

“yeah, sure. whatever, that’s not the point,” seungcheol huffed again.

“then what is the point?”

“that he tried to come here and flirt with you when i’m right here!” he finally snapped. “it’s embarrassing! he looked at me with all this pity when i opened the door. i don’t want his pity. then you come around the corner, and he’s smiling ear to ear.” seungcheol looked like he was about to cry. you wanted to say something, but all you could was look at him, confused. “you pity me too. everyone does!” he rambled. “it’s so humiliating. and, and, i’m sure that you’d be happier at the office where he is. he’s more handsome than i am, and i’m sure he’s smarter and kinder than me. you deserve to go out and just leave me here. you don’t even want to be here. i see the way you look at me. it’s not the same way i look at you, so i couldn’t possibly as you to stay. why don’t you just go date a guy like that? i’m sure he can treat you better than- than me.”

you stood there dumbfounded. your heart ached for seungcheol, but you couldn’t stop the boiling anger in your stomach. how could he possibly think so lowly of himself? did he not see how you were still so infatuated with him? did he not realize the reason why you hadn’t talked to anyone new was because of him? and for him to accuse you of pitying him, after all the care you put into helping him get better. to accuse you of not wanting to be there, with him. you wouldn’t haven’t been here if you didn’t care. you knew you cared too much for seungcheol, for someone who you knew didn’t even care about you. what made him any different from back when you were dating?

“you’re so cruel,” you whispered, grabbing your food and heading to the office.

there was radio silence for the next few hours. you would occasionally hear something, but seungcheol never knocked or tried to come in. the tip-toeing around each other was killing you. it felt awfully familiar to when seungcheol became distant from you before the two of you broke up. work was monotonous and nothing was holding your attention. all you could think about was what seungcheol said. you didn’t realize he felt that way about himself, or you for that matter. it hurt, and it hurt even more to wallow in it when he was right on the other side of the door.

you couldn’t be the same person you were seven months ago. pushing down your concerns, hoping they would pass. they wouldn’t, you knew that, unless you talked to him. he would be getting better soon, and you could put this in the past. you could leave again once this was all over, never to look back. you couldn’t take another heartbreak because of him again.

so your resolve broke and you pushed yourself out of the office chair and went to find seungcheol.

he remembered the day you left like it was yesterday. he heard you gather some things from your room and left without another word. “yeah, i guess so,” he muttered to himself angrily. “you’re such an idiot,” he continued. he didn’t even understand why he said that to you. it was uncalled for, especially given you wanted to talk about your strained relationship. he knew he was distant, but he didn’t know what else to do. so, he pushed it down until he couldn’t take it anymore, well, until you couldn’t take it anymore.

not having you around the apartment for the first few weeks felt like torture. he had drafted and re-written several messages to you and even considered calling, but he never pulled through with any of it. his mind was constantly unfocused on his work. the work he sacrificed everything for. the work he tried so hard to keep up to help you, help the both of you. he couldn’t bring himself to eat as much as he usually did, when the pit of his stomach was killing him from the inside out.

now that you were gone he constantly tried to take his mind off of you. he couldn’t let a breakup disorient him like this. he had broken up with other people before, but never like this. he couldn’t stop replaying everything that went wrong in his mind, everything he could’ve done to stop it. maybe if he put up a fight you would’ve stayed. but, he didn’t fight at all. he cowered at the suggestion of breaking up, and instead of facing it, he fled and accepted fate. waves of uncertainty lapped at his feet and eventually, the waters rose until it was unbearable. if you wanted to break up with him then that’s what would happen, no matter what ran through his mind and heart.

no matter the fact he had a little velvet box in the bottom of his sock drawer.

he was going to a party. he said he would buy alcohol, so he did. while he was driving he felt something shift within him. he thought about all the parties he had taken you to, and how all parties with you there were so much more bearable. all he could think about was how bored he would be. he loved his friends, but something was missing if you weren’t also there sharing a drink or discussion with him. yet, he let joshua convince him to come out. joshua had told him not to drown in any more work. joshua saw how the work was wearing down his friend, and he couldn’t take it anymore. so, seungcheol was going to a party he didn’t particularly want to attend, but he was getting there, even if he felt himself push the accelerator down more than he should.

but something stopped him from going to the party, and now he felt like he was floating above his body. he felt waves wash over him, and when they retreated he felt cold and vulnerable. he felt dazed and had a throbbing pain in his head, leg, and heart. he remembered the beating rain against his windshield and feeling the tires give out on him. he remembered your smile and your fingers running through his then-long hair. you told him everything was going to be alright, and he believed you. then, there was a rhythmic beeping next to him, some rustling by him, and your voice was gone. his head hurt too much, but he forced his eyes open.

in some sort of last-ditch effort of hope, he thought it could be you. you could be there fixing some magazines in the room or adjusting the blinds. yet, he opened his eyes and he didn’t see you there, just a nurse organizing some of the tubes next to him. seungcheol tried turning his head around, groaning. the nurse noticed and left to go get someone. maybe it could be you. no, that wouldn’t make sense. it couldn’t be you, and it wasn’t. it was his mother. she cried and asked him if he was alright. she asked where you were and what he was doing, but he didn’t have a good response to any of her questions. when she started to pry about you, he realized he had forgotten to mention the fact you were broken up. she had called soon after it ended because it was time for her to call her son, but he went into auto-pilot and told her you were fine, and he just never got around to telling her the truth. she loved you, and he knew that.

he definitely couldn’t do it then. it would break her, just like it broke him.

when he saw you standing at the door behind his mother, he wanted to burst into tears, but it would probably hurt his lung. besides, he didn’t need you to see how broken up about it he was. everything hurt, but it only hurt more when he saw you. you looked gorgeous, and your voice was like music to his ears. what if you had a boyfriend? the thought flashed through his mind. any person would be lucky to date you, but the idea caused his stomach to roll.

your hair looked so pretty too, but your clothes looked like a mess. he hoped he didn’t cause you too much worry. yet, he was worried now. his lie was going to be exposed. he saw the way you looked at him, helpless and injured. you wouldn’t spare him, not after what he did. his mom was talking to you just like everything was normal, but he saw the look on your face. you were confused and probably angry. he knew you, and he knew you would correct his mom as soon as you could. so when she backed away and went to get something from the closet, he couldn’t tell what you were thinking, and that scared him.

the last thing he expected was for you to agree and help. he also expected you to correct his mother when she went on and on about how you were his girlfriend and how she knew how much you loved each other. he could sense your discomfort anytime he was around, so he made himself scarce and tried not to be a bother. what you were doing was already such a help to him, and he had no idea how he was ever going to repay you.

he recalled when you pushed him around in his wheelchair at the supermarket, and all he wanted to do was disappear. it was his first visit to the store for a while, and there was something especially embarrassing about having your ex push you around the market, even if they didn’t know he had broken your heart. he didn’t know why he agreed to come. he would feel your hands brush past his shoulders as you would reach to grab something before dropping it in the shopping basket sitting in his lap. the tiny bit of contact from you had him going insane. he wanted to apologize for having you here, for his mom calling, for lying, for breaking your heart. he was scared, that if he opened his mouth, his heart would betray him and he’d say something that would make you run away again. but, he knew it wasn’t the time for that, so whenever your fingers graze his shoulder he swallowed whatever apology or confession (whichever came out first) down until it reached the bottom of his heart.

you were wheeling him past the bakery and he saw the sweet milk bread he would always get as a treat on weekends. maybe you could share it again like you used to, but he doubted it. though, before he could process it, he was clearing his throat. you paused and he sensed you looking at him. “uh-,” he paused, coughing. “can, can we get the milk bread over there?” he asked. you looked around to where he was motioning. you saw it. he felt you pause. maybe he shouldn’t have asked. “it’s no big deal, actually. it was a dumb request. never-” he rambled but all of a sudden your hands brushed over his shoulders and you walked over to the table where the freshly baked bread was packaged. you inspected one and brought it back, placing it gently on the top of seungcheol’s basket. “do you need anything else?” you asked, quietly standing behind him again. he shook his head.

for the first few weeks, it was awkward and humiliating. he couldn’t bear you at his beck and call. he could barely even talk to you, too embarrassed. he needed to get out of the wheelchair as soon as possible. he willed his body to heal faster, so then maybe the pain that festered in his chest would go away. one night, he woke up and he was parched. he had run out of water, he must’ve forgotten to get more before he went to bed. he also noticed his stomach was growling. he had refused to eat anything for dinner. once again, his bad. it reminded him of the time when he would come home late to a dark home. he was starving, but he knew you had eaten. you had long gone to bed, but he smelled the food you cooked. he looked in the fridge and saw his helping there. he sighed. he knew it was your day off that day, but he couldn’t seem to draw himself away from his work. got too distracted.

so, he needed water and food, but to get there he would have to get out of his room and into the kitchen. specifically, he needed to get past you on the couch without waking you. pushing himself out of bed, he reached for his crutches. he got them secured under his arms and made his way out of his open door. you had insisted on keeping it open, so you could hear him if he needed anything. but, he saw the way you walked into his room deflated, leaving his dinner on his bedside table, cleaning the barely touched food an hour later, and retreating to the couch to sleep after a presumably hard day at work. he wouldn’t be able to bear it if he woke you up now.

he stepped as lightly as he could given his situation, but you were out like a light. he contained a chuckle seeing you all curled up on his couch. though, he did feel bad. the couch was no place to sleep for a long time. if only he could share his bed with you and not make it weird… he quietly ate a protein bar and got a glass of milk. he watched from the kitchen how smooth your breathing was. he frowned when you began to toss and turn. he wiped his mouth and moved over to you. after resting his crutches on the floor, he sat on the ottoman in from of the couch, closest to your head. he leaned forward and watched your troubled expression. sometimes he would press a kiss on your forehead, but that would be entirely inappropriate. yet, he couldn’t do anything while he watched this perfect person in front of him suffer.

so, his hand was reaching forward and caressing your cheek before he knew it. your skin felt amazing under his fingertips. he missed holding your hand, hugging you from behind, and kissing your lips. he wondered how he could’ve messed up this horribly. he felt your breath even out, and he noticed how your brow un-furrowed. gently pulling back his hand, he smiled and made his way back to his room. it was only then after he crossed the doorway, he realized what he had done. the clear boundary he had tried to maintain melted within those twenty minutes of him getting a midnight snack. he didn’t deserve the treatment he was getting from you. he wished you would yell and scream at him for what he did. resentment. he yearned for you to resent him, but no, you had to come and be the amazing person you were. he couldn’t let himself feel this close to you again.

but, he broke his promise. just like he always did. he invited you to sleep in his bed after a movie night he suggested. after offering, he realized he probably shouldn’t have offered the movie in the first place, but hindsight is 20-20. it felt too inappropriate, unspeakable even. especially, after he caught what minjeong was saying to you before you turned on the movie. he shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but minjeong was yelling on the other side of the phone and no matter how much you could turned down the volume, he still would’ve heard it.

“he treated you like you barely even existed,” minjeong had said.

now, he didn’t want to believe that, but he knew it was true. working longer hours, barely seeing you, and coming home at odd hours of the night were all factors which were purely his fault. he could’ve requested time off, but he didn’t. it was his ambition that blinded him. the thought that if he worked hard enough now, he could be with you more later. but, he had forgotten he wasn’t the only person in the equation, and you only had so much patience. the patience he had wrongfully wasted.

your back was turned to him. he didn’t know why it hurt so much given the situation. being face-to-face in bed would be too intimate. too dangerous. yet, that’s all he wanted. he longed to feel your body next to his, to know that what was once shared between you was still there. so, he took a risk. he reached forward and pressed his chest against your back, his arm wrapped securely around your waist.

he waited and waited for you to pull away, and much to his surprise, you never did. you stayed in his arms like old times, but he knew it couldn’t be like that. he didn’t know if he could ever have you like this again. the recovery period of you taking care of him was painful on a multitude of levels. he was giving you space since he already felt like a burden, and it appeared to him like he was the plague. it was for the best, but he still wanted to hold you and kiss you to show his thanks. all he could do was say thank you and quietly retreat back into his mind. so, he held you like it was the last time, which it likely was, and he fell into a deeper, quieter sleep for the first time in weeks. the waves retreated and did not come back for the rest of the night.

who was this guy standing at his door? why were you smiling so widely at this guy? why was this guy smiling so widely back at you? did he just sleep in the same bed with you when you had a boyfriend? so many questions, and so little patience left on his end. this guy was so handsome, with a sharp nose and intense eyes. he could see how you could go to someone like that, someone completely opposite of him. any hope of last night not being a one-off thing leaving his mind. the guy glanced over at him and gave him a look he was all too familiar with. the old ladies at the supermarket gave him this look. his mother gave him this look. even you sometimes. he was broken and mangled and people loved to look. so, to hide their nosiness, they concealed it with concern and pity. he hated that. sometimes you would do it, and he wanted to rip his hair out. he hated it when you would generate idle conversation or say his name like some sort of swear word. what ever happened to being your cheol?

the doubt came flooding back into his mind, and he was lost in the sea of his own thoughts again. the waves were back, and he didn’t know how to keep them at bay. the tide was coming in stronger, and he could feel every brick he had built crumble under the pressure. when could this conversation be over?

he didn’t mean to lash out at you and your work friend. it was the waves. the waves that splashed into his face. the water that fell into his throat and choked him. he had to spit it out or it was going to drown him. every little thing he had hidden away came out. the confessions, insecurities, and everything else that held him back now and back then. he just needed to get it out before the waves came crashing in on him again when you would inevitably leave.

“you’re so cruel,” you had said, and you were right. he was. how could he be so cruel to one of the only people who ever showed him unconditional kindness? it was over, and he knew it.

all of his memories felt disjointed. almost as if someone had glued them together into a scrapbook. you were trying so hard to follow what he was telling you. the entire time he refused to look at you. his hands were clasped together, face flushed. “i suppose that was a long winded way to say i’m sorry,” he said finally looking at you for the first time. “i’m sorry for treating you so horribly when we were together, and even now. i’m sorry for standing you up and coming home drunk. you’re right, i am cruel, and i will never forgive myself for how i treated you,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes.

you knew he had problems with anxiety and doubt, but you never thought it was this bad. you were mad at him, but you wished he had told you. told you about how he felt like he was drowning everywhere he went. “seungcheol, i-” you began but he cut you off.

“i understand if you want to leave. i can just have joshua take me to physical therapy and my appointments. i’ve asked you to stay for too long. it wasn’t right of me. if anything, i owe you so much. you shouldn’t have to be forced to be anywhere you don’t want to be,” he said.

you stared at him. you had never seen him so defeated. when you came to talk to him, you didn’t expect him to be the one prepared with an apology. you just wanted to talk, but now that you began piecing together the things he told you. you realized how much he did care. he saw the food you made for him. he saw the effort you put in. for some reason, that just made you feel a little better. you always felt like he didn’t see you, but he did. this entire time. “what if i want to be here?” you asked, meeting his gaze. his eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips. “then, i would ask you to stay. i would promise to treat you the way you deserve. i would make every wrong i made right with you,” he confessed, moving closer to you on the couch. he reached forward and grabbed your hand. “i'm sorry for being such an asshole to you. i would apologize every second of every day.anything to get you to trust me again,” he continued. “anything so i can be yours.”

your heart felt full. it was healing. for some reason, you believed him. minjeong would probably yell at you for “falling for his trap,” but you had a feeling he was telling the truth, that he wasn’t going to mess it up again. “then, let’s start over,” you smiled, eyes welling up. he lifted a hand and gently wiped the tears that threatened to fall with his thumb. “gladly,” he smiled. you pulled your hand away from the one he was grasping at, and extended it to him. “i’m ___, nice to meet you,” you smiled. he grinned, glancing between your face and your outstretched hand. “nice to meet you too. i’m seungcheol,” he said clasping your hands together. he felt the waves were receding, and by the look on your face, you felt it too.

you were out shopping for what felt like the fourth time this week. you just kept forgetting something on your list that honestly couldn’t wait until the next week. then your phone began to ring. you slid it out of your pocket and answered it. “what am i forgetting?” you asked as soon as the line connected.

“nothing, i was just wondering if you could get some milk bread,” the voice on the other side of the phone asked. you laughed quietly to yourself. “what’s the occasion?” you joked.

“it’s the weekend, and i love you,” seungcheol said. you felt your heart soar. you sighed happily and made your way over to the milk bread. you were still on the line with him, and you could hear him humming. maybe now was the time you brought it up. “so, you want the same kind from the bakery, right?” you asked, stalling.

“of course,” he scoffed. “the fresh ones from the bakery are obviously superior to the ones that one brand makes.” it was funny since he said it like it was obvious. you hummed and placed one of the loaves in your cart. “is there anything else?” you asked. you heard seungcheol shifting around. “nope, that should be all for me,” he replied.

“everything i’m getting is for you,” you rolled your eyes. he chuckled. you continued to chat with him as you walked through the store, picking up a few leftover things. you decided it would be a good time to end the call when you got to the register, but not before you brought it up. “look, cheol, i’m at the register, so i’ll have to go,” you said, getting in line.

“oh, okay, sounds good. i’ll see you at home?” he asked to confirm.

“yes, after i get back, though, can we talk about that red velvet box in your sock drawer?” you smirked.

“yeah, sure of co- wait! how do you know about that?” seungcheol took a second to process what you had told him. he sounded frantic on the other side of the phone, and it made you laugh. “oh, looks like the line is moving, i’ve got to go! we’ll talk more when i get back, right?” you smiled.

“yes, for sure, yes! we will be talking because you weren’t supposed to see that!” seungcheol exclaimed. “see you soon, i love you, ___.”

“i love you too, cheol,” you replied easily. because, in this life, you loved him, and he loved you back.

minli | sort of proofread! working on it… i think the plot makes sense… right… please say it does. this has sort of been my child for the past month or so… i actually used the max amount of pictures in this LOL ASLDKJ. please leave some feedback if you want :) likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated :)

tagging | @a-wandering-stay @cinnamoroxie @wonwoosthetic

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flowershines · 5 months

Text

Break up sex

Hyung Line x F. Reader

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Breaking up, Breakup sex, toxic friends, drinking, miss communication, jealousy,

Heeseung:

For the past week things between the two of you became more complicated as both of you had work that took up all of your time along with loss of communication.

The topic came up before but not as a full break up, you both were saying how you needed to take a break. Which it was good when you got back together but your relationship had been spiraling and not getting any better.

Not wanting to break his heart you told him you didn’t think your relationship was going to work out as you told him that you always will love him and never wanted this to happen but it was for the best.

• “Please don’t do this to me Y/n.”

• “Need you, please.”

• “Can I have you for one last time?”

• “I’m hoping this isn’t the last time we do this.”

• “Fuck Y/n.” as tears rolled down his face

• “Can’t live without you.”

Jay:

“Why are you always hanging out with him?!” he questioned as both walked into the house, rolling your eyes, you looked at him “because he’s my friend and you act like I don’t hangout with you, I do. You just love to nitpick everything I do with him!” he glared at you as your tone had risen to what it was before.

This wasn’t the first time Jay had gotten jealous of your guy friend, you asked why he bothered Jay so much which he never responded with.

As the relationship continued you started to notice how he would never let you hang out with other guys except him and occasionally his friends, even then it was hard to hangout with them without getting glanced at every minute to make sure you weren’t looking at them.

“Why can’t I be friends with guys?” “Why do you want to be friends with guys?” “What do you mean? Men are like half of the population, you just expect me to not talk to them for the rest of my life?!” He stayed silent, “If that’s how it is then I don’t think our relationship is going to work out, it’s not that i don’t wanna be in a relationship with you. I do but I can't have you constantly controlling me.” his silence continued with tears rolling down his cheeks.

• “I will always love you Y/n never forget that.”

• “You can always come back to me, I’ll be here.”

• “I wish I could stay inside you forever.”

• “Kiss me one more time before you go.”

Jake:

Talking about your problems in your relationship with him easily turns into a screaming match, most of them had to deal with lying, work, jealousy, drunkenness and a lot of other stupid things that happened revolving around you both.

The most recent one broke your heart to even think about, that night Jake had come home drunk as he kept repeating your insecurities saying how stupid they were and then agreeing with all of them.

Not wanting to hear him anymore you went into your room and started balling your eyes out as you just couldn’t put up with arguments like these when he wasn’t even in the right state of mind ruining your time with the one person who you truly loved.

Leaving the house you had put him to bed and left a note saying ‘call me when you wake up, we need to talk.’

The next morning he did exactly what you asked, “Is everything alright baby?” “I’m coming over.” you hung up the phone and made your way over.

You explained to him how you couldn’t watch your relationship just ease away from every single fight you guys got into, not to mention him not being sober to even understand half of them.

• “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, even if I have to leave you. I just want you to be happy.”

• “I don’t want you to go.”

• “I can change, I swear, please let me fix this.”

• “If you ever need my cock in you don’t hesitate, please.”

• “You won’t even have to look at me when we fuck, I just wanna be there for you. Not some other man.”

• “You feel so fucking good, can kiss you forever.”

Sunghoon:

Going over with your boyfriend to his friend's house was never your idea of fun, they would always find ways to pick on you and tell you that Sunghoon was way out of your league along with saying that you don’t deserve him.

Bringing it up to Sunghoon was the worst part bro wanting to hurt his feelings or break their friendship but you were just confused and upset at the way they had treated you.

When you brought it up he told you that it was their way of joking, believing him you returned to their house days later and they kept saying hurtful things to you along with hitting you and more.

You were too nervous to bring it up to Sunghoon but when you finally did he was confused at your sudden change in emotion towards his friend, he didn’t understand where you were coming from.

Proceeding to tell him that you didn’t want him to pick sides and give him some space but that ‘space’ turned into weeks, one more week later he texted you that he was ready but as he told you that he wanted to stay friends with his friend.

You told him that was okay and will always be here if he changes his mind but you would not be putting up with that abuse anymore, leading to you breaking up with him.

• “Please come back if you need to.”

• “Can I fuck you one last time before you leave?”

He would fuck you as tears streamed down his face

• “I don’t know what I'm going to do without you.”

• “Can I kiss you?”

• “I love you, always and forever.”

#smut #fluff #enha x reader #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #jungwon smut #sunghoon smut #jay smut #sunoo smut #jake smut #enhypen #enha

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sunsetsturniolos · 2 months

Note

Oneshot: Matt confronting you after you start getting quiet. You’ve been getting insecure and you feel like you’re holding him back. This hot ass man is sweet as fuck tho!!!

talk to me - matt sturniolo x fem reader

a/n: took my own little twist on this :) sorry is there are any mistakes!

warnings: mentions of toxic childhood, not eating, hate comments, insecurities. if you are going through any of this please talk to someone! my inbox is always open if you need some to rant to 💞

as always my inbox is open for requests, but other than that, enjoy!

lots of love,

m💌💌💌

it had been about 2 weeks since you and the triplets have done anything together. every time they asked you to do something that involved getting ready nicely you shut them down. this wasn’t like you, normally you were a very bubbly and happy person who was always jumping at opportunities to do something fun, so you knew they were starting to get suspicious but you just brushed it off and moved on.

lately you’ve been feeling very insecure with yourself. you grew up in a toxic environment, which lead to you always having the thought in the back of your head that you weren’t good enough. recently, you’d been in some of the triplets videos, and the hate had been adding to this. you’d stopped eating as much, cutting down to a few snacks a day, maybe a whole meal if you were lucky. it’d been like this for a while, and while you hated doing this to yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

a few days had passed and matt was starting to get worried. he knew you were struggling at the moment but he didn’t realise it was this bad. the triplets ordered canes for dinner last night, and while matt thought you ate your meal and didn’t finish because your stomach was hurting, he was wrong. he found your entire meal in the bin the next morning and suddenly everything made sense. he’s been trying to muster up the words and courage of what to say to you. he knew he had to do something, he couldn’t bare to see his beautiful girl going through this. he waited a while before finally going to your guys’ shared bedroom, already finding you sat on the bed, phone in hand. you had bags under your eyes. you’d lost a lot of weight, you weren’t yourself anymore.

“hey baby, can we talk?” matt stuttered,

“uh, yeah of course,” you hesitantly replied, these kind of conversations always made you nervous. “uhm i don’t really know how to start this, but i saw all of your food from last night in the trash, i thought you ate some of it?” matt asked.

shit. you thought.

“oh eh i just wasn’t that hungry thats all.” you quickly replied, hoping to end the conversation.

matt knew that was all bullshit.

“love, you and i both know that isn’t true,” he spoke.

oh you were screwed.

“talk to me baby, whats going on?” he carried on, adding a comforting hand to your thigh, you tensed under his touch.

tears started to well up in your eyes, you knew you couldn’t keep it in anymore, you had to tell him. “i’ve just been feeling a bit insecure recently, i mean you’ve seen the comments right? everyone thinks i’m fat!” you’d broken down by now. matt’s face was drained with guilt. “baby those comments don’t mean anything! your the most gorgeous girl i know! they’re just jealous, mean 12 year olds! please don’t let them affect you. everyone loves you so much, nick loves you, chris loves you, and i love you more than anything! this isn’t healthy, you need to eat.” matt was right. “i know, i just didn’t know what to do.” it was a lame excuse and you knew it, but you had nothing else to say. “please talk to me next time, you know i’m always here for you,” he reassured, you lazily nodded.

“i love you matt.” “i love you more baby, why don’t we go get ice cream from down the street, your favourite?” matt smiled. “that sounds great honey, thank you.” you blushed.

matt quickly kissed you forehead and grabbed his keys from the dresser. he held his hand out for you as you got up and interlocked fingers, making your way to the car.

what would you do without this boy.

tags: @sturnioloslurps @lacysturniolo @lewisroscoelove @55sturn @freshloveforthefit @lanai3mother

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets

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curseddollfaye · 2 months

Note

I'm wonderinggggg....could you write something where Suguru breaks up with his s/o and realises it was a mistake? Like how do you think he would try to win her over again?

“I wish you roses while you can still smell them”

ex boyfriend! suguru x reader

✩ listened to ‘I wish you roses’ by miss kali uchis while writing this :) pt 2?? hehehe , oh and if it wasn’t obvious. ANGST ALERT!✩

masterlist

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚

You always swore ever since you were a teenager that you would never let a man make you cry. You would never sit and cry in front of a man. You practically cursed the idea of that ever happening to you. Images of your mother crying because of your father made their way into your head. How she loved him so much, and yet he still left. You remembered wondering how could a love like this turn so sour? Why are you bared the responsibility of witnessing a dying love?

Nothing could have prepared you for happiness to be given to you, and have it snatched from your fingers before you had a say.

Because truth be told, the way Suguru broke up with you, was the day clouds stormed the sky. Your shared room that he no longer slept in felt colder and darker. You had closed your eyes that night extra tight, gripping the pillow that he slept on. Wondering if you wanted to burn it to a crisp

Or maybe hold it close to your nose so the scent of him never goes away.

“Im sorry Y/N…I just…I don’t know if I feel the same way anymore”

Heartache wasn’t even the word for it. 4 years down the drain. With a stupid explanation that made no sense. The man that claimed to love you so much for the last four fucking years couldn’t even give you a decent reason? You were left to wonder if it was you.

4 years ago you would’ve punched yourself for even thinking that. Why is it that in the movies or book you’ve read the woman always thinks it’s their fault?

But the feeling isn’t realized until it happens to you. Insecurities, questions without answers. You swore you hated Suguru Getou. You hated him for leaving little things around your previously shared apartment that reminded you of him. His Marlboro red pack cigarettes, his dumb cologne lingered in the air, and you didn’t know if it scared you or relieved you when you no longer could smell it from how long it had been.

Suguru Getou was the first man to ever make you feel like you were less than. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose. Maybe it was the way he softly spoke to you even when he was breaking your heart. Holding his favorite snacks in a connivence store plastic bag. The contents of it dropping (dramatic yes, but true).

So what exactly do you do when said ex boyfriend shows up at your front door at 2 am on a Friday night? Your silk nightgown slipping past your shoulders. The slight breeze making you blink even more tiredly. Wanting to crawl back to bed and sleep. It’s been a lot of sleepless nights due to work. It wasn’t easy being a nail tech, you are usually booked months in advanced. So that means your days are always planned around around that. At least on the weekdays.

“Suguru?” You rub the sleep out of your eyes. Your door had been merely cracked open. You lived alone now, who knows what creep could be lurking around.

“Hey, I’m sorry…fuck I’m sorry baby I-“ Suguru’s voice sighed. Your eyes finally landed on him as you fully awoken.

He looked as good as ever. Not that you weren’t really shocked. It had only been 6 months since he broke up with you, 3 since you had last seen him. Since he came to pick up the last of his things. Which ended up in you coldly acknowledging him and retreating back to your room with a loud slam. You had made it quite clear that you wanted nothing to do with it.

He looked…tired? Which wasn’t that unusual for him after working or a long day. But 2 am on a Friday was a whole new level. His hair was held back in a hair tie. The black gauges in his ears didn’t look like the ones you had seen last. Making note to yourself that even now you could remember even the smallest details of the tall man standing in front of you.

“What are you doing here Suguru?” You snap at him. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Suguru offers you a weak smile. He knows he has no right to be knocking on your door.

“Im just…I don’t know” He said truthfully. Which led you to even more confusion. You didn’t want to play these games. You had been over it for 3 months now. You couldn’t wouldn’t let him ruin your progress.

You sighed, you were just tired.

“That doesn’t really help me with figuring out why you’re here…”

“I know, I know okay. I know I shouldn’t be here YN. I know I have no right to come here asking for any sort of time but I just need you to hear me out”

He doesn’t miss the sour and angry look on your face. Suguru is used to it by now, all your friends throw him the same look when they see him. It was the last look he remembers on your face. The one before that was angst and solemn. All because of him, and he has to keep reminding himself so.

“To hell with you. I’ve spent the last fucking 6 months feeling sorry for myself for a man that didn’t give a fuck about me in the end.” Even cussing him out you looked so beautiful. Your hair tied up holding your arms as the chill made its way in through t your opened door. Suguru swears- no, he knows he remembers every beauty mark, every blemish, and every birth mark on your body. Something he will probably never see again thanks to himself. Even angry you looked ethereal. Suguru would worship you given the chance again.

He wasn’t counting his luck though….

“Are you even listening to me?” You ask in disbelief. “Unbelievable, go home. You’re drunk probably” Your hand grabbed your doorknob tightly and quickly made it shut it. However a boot came to stop it. You felt anger course through your body now more than ever. Is this how it was going to be?

“Just..please”

“Is that all you can say to me? Please? Sorry? I shouldn’t be here? I told you the last time we talked that I wanted nothing to do with you, isn’t that what you wanted?” hurt crossed his features. For a moment you felt bad. But you quickly were to shrug the feeling off.

Why should you feel bad? You didn’t break his heart, you weren’t prancing around a new girlfriend four months after the breakup. You have to keep strong is what you keep reminding yourself. Over and over again. Crying for you nowhere.

Crying never made Suguru Getou come back. It never made him feel pity to you and be a man to apologize for his wrongdoings. He did you so dirty so why did it hurt seeing him so fragile?

Where was the empathy for you?

“That’s not true!” His voice boomed your quiet apartment.

“It might as well be!”

“Today’s was supposed to be our 5 year anniversary…”

You scoff. “Yeahhh I think it’s time for you to go”

“I had something I bought um, before everything” Suguru moves his left hand to move some stray pieces of hair that hung over his face. “I wanted to give it to you, it’s the least I can do. Plus, it’s something that you really wanted and I can’t…” Suguru pauses. Looking at you as if he’s studying you. Like he needs to, he knows you like the back of his hand and you were aware of that.

You look back at him. Feeling your emotions rush your body.

please don’t cry YN…don’t cry , don’t cry, don’t cry

“Listen…” You look up. Already feeling your eyes burn. God damnit.

I want to hate you Suguru Getou , damn you.

“I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is, maybe you get off to watching me cry or something. But I need you to leave me alone please.” A whimper escapes your throat. You look around, anywhere but at him. To try and at least keep some of your dignity.

“You’ve done so much to me”

Suguru shifts, his hands in his pockets. You couldn’t see but he himself was holding on to tears. He had no right to cry in front of you. Not after the way he hurt you. “Im sorry..”

“I don’t need your sorry!” You yell at him. Yanking the door open and hearing it slam against the wall. “I don’t need anything from you Suguru Getou! Not after what you did, not after the way you stand there looking at me as if you love me so damn much. Like you used to, when I know and you know that it’s all a fabricated lie! You’ve been here for five minutes and I still don’t know what motivated you to come back here after 6 fucking months, but you know what? Truth is maybe I never really knew you. So maybe I cried for no damn reason. I cried over a stranger!”

“I never lied to you, when I told you I loved you I meant that shit so don’t say I didn’t”

You laugh bitterly. “What about when you said you didn’t?”

He didn’t have an answer for that one.

“Goodnight Suguru. I hope you find whatever the fuck it is you’re looking for.” You said more gently. You don’t know why. You just hated the way he still made you feel.

Because you didn’t hate Suguru Getou.

You loved him with every fiber of your being, and yet that still wasn’t enough for him.

The door closes softly, a click and a lock follow. This time he doesn’t stop you.

This time Suguru hang his head low and lets out a shaky breath.

His hand digging into his pocket to clutch what was meant for you.

A ring.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen suguru #getou suguru smut #geto suguru #suguru geto smut #getou x reader #geto smut #getou suguru x y/n #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jujustu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru fic #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk getou #jujustu kaisen x reader

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gatorbites-imagines · 1 year

Note

Dick grayson x male reader (preferably YJ verse)

Reader is Clark's bio son and their both hopelessly in love but reader is scared of dicks dating history and how close he's with all his exes and he doesn't want to get burned in the process

Dick Grayson x kryptonian male reader

Headcanons

Featuring some of my kryptonian headcanons.

You and Dick would be close even before the young justice team was made, since Bruce and Clark worked side by side so much as you were growing up. That results in you two knowing each other pretty well.

You would both be crushing on one another, but neither of you would confess or think the other feels the same way. Dick would the one to go off and date other people whilst you just stayed single and nursed what you thought was your one-sided crush.

Clark would have realized very early on how you were feeling for Dick, and he would tease you good naturedly about how you keep purring when your around him, saying its good he cant hear those frequencies or dick would have known immediately too.

You bring kryptonian makes you one of the team’s power houses, since you pack a major punch and other very strong powers. This results in you also looking out for a lot of the other team members just in case.

You’ve taken many hits for Dick over the years, since you on instinct keep a closer eye on him than everyone else. It’s not on purpose, you just do.

When Conner shows up, you don’t turn him away like others and treat him like a fellow kryptonian even if your dad is having some issues with being cloned. You don’t blame Conner for being created, and you just want to help out.

This leads to you and Conner getting close, and you teaching him about the weird quirks that come with being part Kryptonian. He almost exposes you when he asks why you purr so much around Dick, but you quickly shut him up.

Pretty much everyone can tell Dick is just as head over heels for you in return, it’s probably why some of his past relationships ended. I could imagine his partners realizing he was pining hard for you, which lead to a breakup for the most part.

Dick would think you don’t want a relationship in general since you’ve never been in a relationship with anyone, but everyone knows its because you pine after him too.

You two circling eachother like a pair of peacocks has been the cause of many tired conversations between your dads or your teammates. Bruce and Clark have known for years that you two like each other, but they also don’t want to push either of you to confess if you arent ready.

Your teammates have bets on how long its gonna take, Roy is the winner right now, since the bet was made years ago and he bet it would take you guys years, whilst the others said months or a year max.

You guys “hang out” all the time, but its very much just dates without you guys admitting it is. Like going out to eat together, going to the movies, or you flying around with him in your arms just for fun.

You guys end up kissing when you’ve been hit with a pretty strong dose of kryptonite, and you were loopy and weak. You weren’t sure you would make it out, so you kiss him.

Of course, you survive, and try to ignore that anything actually happened since you still think he doesn’t like you in return, and you fear you might have ruined your friendship.

It doesn’t help that all his exes are so attractive and skilled that it makes you insecure. Dick isn’t doing well with you avoiding him, as you go as far as using your super hearing to avoid him.

It ends up being Wally or Conner who explains to Dick that you feel insecure and like you won’t be able to meet his standards, which Dick doesn’t understand because he thinks your so far out of his league.

He would want to talk to you, but again, you’re avoiding him. Dick ends up getting the help from teammates and probably even Clark as you can’t outfly your dad like you can some of the others.

Finally, you two get to talk it all through, tears or shed, both sad tears and happy tears. You both feel so stupid cuz you’ve liked each other for years, but neither of you realized or confessed.

It takes a while after you start dating for you not to feel insecure or like you can’t meet some invisible standard, but Dick being so insanely smitten as he is helps quite a lot.

Your teammates have definitely joked that Dick would kiss the very ground you walk on if you asked, not that you wouldn’t do the same though.

You two are so cute together its almost sickening honestly. Always near eachother, holding hands, cuddling, kissing. The amount of flirting you do over comms now that you are together is unbelievable.

You’re very happy, though the insecurity does pop up at times. Your families and friends are happy you two finally confessed too. And Roy won the bet and became a richer man.

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carigm · 2 months

Text

THE NEW ST VR GAME IS BYLER AND WILL BYERS GOLD!!!

Okay, so if any of you are on Twitter you might have seen mlvns throwing a tantrum over a clip from a new ST VR game. Here’s the clip:

https://x.com/1987byler/status/1761026225823449094?s=46

If anyone doesn’t want to watch it, I’ll describe it here. It’s a hypothetical of Will having a Vecna vision/or hearing Vecna talk to him set during pre S2 time. He’s listening to Mike talk about how different and amazing El was and he starts to hear Vecna’s voice telling him to “tell Mike how you feel” “your stomach is all in knots” “you don’t want her to come back”. Basically Vecna going “I know what you are” lol

Mlvns are grasping at straws and saying Will hates El because of something Vecna said to make him insecure, because that’s how Vecna operates. He puts negative thoughts in his victim’s heads and uses their biggest insecurities against them. I guess mlvns weren’t watching the Vecna parts of the show if they don’t get this. Never mind that this was also before Will ever met El, and well, it’s also not canon because it’s not in the show so…

Regardless of this game not being canon or fully canon, like I said, there’s a lot of emphasis on Will’s feelings for Mike. Like the game makers literally implying Will has been in love with Mike since S1…

As Vecna taunts Will, Will ends up hiding inside a memory of him and Mike at Castle Byers. His happy memory. It’s not like this show hasn’t made a big deal of characters having to use happy memories to find strength, it’s not like they haven’t been doing this since S2.

In another scene, Vecna finds Will in the UD and remarks how he is “the key to everything” you don’t say 💀

As for mlvn, well they’re as unimportant as always. There’s a moment where Mike mentions he hopes El comes back to play a game with them (remember the game is set pre S2) and the moment he talks about how cool El is, in which the literal focus is Vecna taunting Will.

Again, I can see why mlvns are so pressed and clinging to that line said by Vecna (which they think makes Will look bad) in order to avoid looking at the bigger picture.

Because even though this game isn’t fully canon, it’s pretty damn clear that Will having Vecna visions in S5 is a given. He will be taunted for his sexuality, his love for Mike, what happened with his dad. I wouldn’t even be surprised if there’s a vision of Mike rejecting him/choosing El over him. However, here’s what mlvns are afraid of:

Vecna is a liar, and they as much as us, know that if such a vision happens in the show Byler will be endgame.

Reality will be the opposite of Vecna��s visions, and that’s what they’re setting up. Will thinks he’s unloved, Vecna will use that to his advantage, Vecna will be wrong. It’s a simple set up really 🤷‍♀️

#byler #byler theory

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bbrissonn · 9 months

Text

𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭? - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐫 𝐳𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬

summary: in which trevor broke up with you at the end of the season because of his own insecurity, but what happens when he's back in anaheim and he's had a little too much to drink

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting

warnings: slight smut, angst, fluff, swearing (i think), not proofread

pairing: trevor zegras x reader

wc: 4.9k (including lyrics)

a/n: based on the song bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo

guts masterlist

Hey

You’re eyes scanned the bar as you, along with your group of friends, walked into the place. The loud music filling your ears, making you grimace slightly. This was your first time going out since your break up with Trevor at the end of his first full NHL season, back in April. He had made the decisions to end your relationship only hours before going on his last road trip of the season, and when he came back home a couple of days later, all your things were gone.

You hadn’t tried to reach out to him when he left, instead choosing of just leaving and moving back into your parent’s house for the summer. Your friends were with you everyday, not wanting the end of your year long relationship to destroy like your previous breakup did. They understood that you were in the mood to go out every night, or any night at all, so movie nights, walks on the beach, ice cream runs were a daily thing.

Eventually, in early July, you started moving on from him, he hadn’t bothered to reach out to you either, so you had no choice but to do so. Slowly but surely, you started spending more time outside of your house, something your parents were grateful for. Then, you found yourself your own apartment, still close to home, but not too close to where Trevor lived so you wouldn't have to run into him in the store or on the streets.

Now here you were, October only a couple of days away, standing at a bar with a bright smile on your face as your friends talked about all the drama they heard from your high school days, which couple were still together, which ones weren’t, some of them were now married with kids, something that shocked you a bit since you were only 21, but if that’s what they wanted, good on them, you thought.

Haven’t heard from you in a couple of months

But I’m out right now and I’m all fucked up

And you’re callin’ my phone and you’re all alone

And I’m sensing some undertone

And I’m right here with all my friends

But you’re sending me your new address

And I know we’re done, I know we’re through

But, God, when I look at you

As the morning hours approached, it was safe to say you were completely drunk, somehow this casual night out, had turned into you guys celebrating going into your last year of college, meaning way more drinks were bought than expected.

You were all sitting in a booth, laughs echoing, when you felt your phone buzz in the pocket of your jeans shorts. You struggled a bit, but eventually, you got your phone out, squinting your eyes to see who was calling you.

❌trevor❌

You let out a sigh watching your phone ring until his contact disappeared, and then voicemail notification popped up. You knew you couldn’t do this to yourself, you shouldn’t, but you wanted to. So, you excused yourself, claiming you needed to use the bathroom, of course some of your friends suggested they came with you, not wanting you to be alone. But you assured them you’d be fine.

“Hey, it’s me. I… Uh, it’s been a while.” His voice echoed through the speaker of your phone, making you bit your lips as you heard his voice for the first time since you two broke up. “I hope you’re doing good, I really do.” He continued, his voice shaky a bit. Before he said anything else, you heard him sip on a drink and let out a sigh. “I don’t know if you’re busy or whatnot, maybe you’re having a night with your parents or something.” He added, sipping once again on his drink, and now you could tell he was a bit tipsy by the way his words were slurred a bit. “But I was wondering if you’d wanna meet up? Talk a bit about what happened. I’ll text you my new place, come if you want.”

And then it went silent, but he hadn’t hung-up, after about ten seconds of silence, you decided to hang up, telling yourself he was probably done and just miss clicked the red button on his phone. You stayed in the bathroom stall for a bit, wondering what you should do. You wanted nothing more than to see him, talk to him, get some closure about why he ended your relationship, but you didn’t want to get even more heartbroken than you already were.

When you made it back to the booth, you knew what you were going to do. Was it a smart decision? No, absolutely not. But did it seem like a good one to your drunk self? Yes, absolutely.

My brain goes, “Ah”

Can’t hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

As you announced your departure to your friends, a lot of them suggested to go with you, make sure you stay safe, but you convince them you’d be fine, only having a couple of minutes to walk and promising them you’d call them if anything happened.

As you started your adventure towards your desired place, your brain started to come to it’s sense. This was horrible idea, but you didn’t care. You craved to hear him, see him, smell his cologne that you adored so much, you need him. So, you just ignored what your head was telling you, choosing instead to follow your heart and what it wanted.

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it’s fine

As you got closer and closer, the anxiety of seeing him again started to settle in. What if he decided you took too long and left? What if he had another girl over and asked you to come just to rub it in your face? No, he wouldn’t that. Trevor could be an asshole on the ice sometimes, and to other guys in the bar if he saw them let their eyes linger on your body a little too long for his liking, but he wouldn’t do anything like that.

That’d be such a dick move from him, plus, you were still in contact with Jamie, and from what you understood through the boy’s weird texts, Trevor hadn’t seen any other girl yet. So, truly, what was the worst that could happen, right?

Yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

The biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Deciding that at least informing your parents of where you were going, or more like who you were going to see was the least you could do. That way if your friends went over to check on you, they’d call your parents to see if you had gone to their house, they’d know of the horrible decision you had made the previous night.

Your mother wasn’t too fond of your idea, but she had met Trevor, he was a sweetheart, he knew you weren’t in any danger. If anything, she was over the moon that you had decided to finally go see the boy and talk about what had happened.

Trevor had met your parents countless of times during your relationship, your dad being a big hockey fan, even though his favorite team was the Kings and not the Ducks. Every time you’d mention coming to visit them for the day, Trevor coming along with you, they’d almost jump from excitement, happy that their daughter had finally found a good boy for herself. They were a little cautious of him at first, doing their researches online before meeting him and seeing not so good things about him and his reputation of being a playboy, but all that worry quickly washed away when they caught the two of you sitting on the front porch watching the sunset. The window in the living room giving them a perfect view of the two of you, wide smiles on your faces as they saw Trevor looking at their daughter the way your father looked at your mother, pure love in their eyes.

No, your mother was more scared of you walking the streets of Anaheim all alone in the dark, and you understood her. The world wasn’t a safe place, neither during dark or light, especially for young woman your age. The fact that you were drunk didn’t help either, so you decided to stay on the phone with her until you made it safely to Trevor’s place.

Now I’m gettin’ in the car, wreckin’ all my plans

I know I should stop, but I can’t

And I told my friend I was asleep

But I never said where (in his sheets)

And I pull up to your place on the second floor

And you’re standing, smiling at the door

And I’m sure I’ve seen much hotter men

But I really can’t remember when

Your hand were shaking slightly as you knocked on his door, making sure not to make too much noise to wake up his neighbors, but enough so he could hear you. You heard movement behind the door, along with the sound of the TV getting paused.

Then, the next thing you knew, Trevor was standing in front of you, a beer bottle in hand. A wide grin appeared on his face as your eyes meet for the first time in months. He had gotten a haircut, thankfully, the last time you saw him, his hair kept covering his eyes and he was always complaining about it, but refused to get it cut anywhere other than his hairdresser back home.

Suddenly, all the emotions you had been holding for the past couple of months rose within you. All the anger, hurt and love you felt towards him were all present inside you, making you extremely confused as to how you felt.

“You came.” He stated, his eyes growing wide as he realized what was going on, you were here.

“I did.” You confirmed, more to yourself than to him. Suddenly, you regretted coming here, but at the same time, you were so grateful to see him. Almost as if seeing him just confirmed that you’re relationship truly happened, that it was real and wasn’t just something you made up in your sleep, that he was real.

“Come in.” He said, opening up his door completely for you to walk in. There was still a couple of boxes in the corner of his living room, and there was barely any furniture, meaning he hadn’t been back for a while.

As the two of you walked into his living room, it was the first time you truly saw him. The lights in the hallway were dimed down considering the time, and all the lights in his kitchen and entry way were turned off. His skin was tanned, his muscles were more defined than they were back in spring, but one of the first thing you had noticed was his arm, more specifically his left one. It was now home to not one, but two tattoos.

You knew he was planning on getting some soon, it was something he talked about a lot during your relationship, but he never figured out what to get.

“A spider? Seriously?” You laughed as the two of you sat down on his couch. He gave you a weird look before realizing you were looking at his tattoos.

“Spiderman.” He answered with shrug, making you roll your eyes with a smile before letting your eyes drift over to the TV. Your heart dropped slightly as you realized what he was watching, Shameless, your favourite show. He had never watched it before the two of you started dating, and you quickly made sure to make him watch all the episodes, gasping when he informed you he’d never seen it before. You were about to mention it to him, but the screen went black before any words could leave your mouth.

“So, how you been?” He asked, his words a little slurred. You looked over at him, only to see he was already looking at you with a way too familiar look. A look he always had on his face when he’d be talking to you, or at any moment really, one that was reserved just for you and no one else. Only making you wonder even more why he had ended things between the two of you.

My brain goes, “Ah”

Can’t hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

“Seriously? You break up with me for no reason, then five months later you call me, drunk, asking me to come over to talk, and all you have you say is ‘how you been’?” You asked, the anger in you taking control. Trevor looked down at his lap at your words. He knew calling you was a bad idea, he didn’t even know why he decided to do it in the first place. Sure, he had been thinking about it ever since he walked out the door in April, apologize to you a million times and do anything you’d want him to if he meant he could be yours again, but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t break your heart even more than he already did.

“Listen, Bug, what I did, what I said, it was the worst mistake of my life.” He started, the nickname he had given slipping past his lips. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened and I was so stupid to end it. And, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and during our relationship, but being your boyfriend was never one. I am so in love with you―”

“Then why’d you end it, Trevor?” You cut him off, your voice stern as you avoided his gaze, scared that tears would start to form in your eyes if you looked over at him.

“Because you deserve better than me. You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met, and I know that you don’t think you are, but to me you are. You’re kind to everyone, you’re smart, you care about everyone even if they’ve done bad things, you’re perfect. And I am… am just me. I fuck up everything good that happens in my life, I hurt people without even realizing it, I am not a good person, Y/N/N. You deserve better than me.” He confessed, his voice low, almost scared that you’d hear him. After he was done, he chugged the rest of his beer before adding one more thing. “I am not good enough for you.”

“Says who?”

“Everyone. Every time you’d meet someone I know, they’d always say they didn’t understand what someone like you saw in me, like I wasn’t good enough to be your boyfriend. All my family and friends, they all love you, but they don’t understand why you’re with me, and honestly, I don’t either.” He admitted, the tone and volume in his voice not changing. You knew Trevor was a bit insecure about himself, scared that he was too high energized that people wouldn’t want to be around him, but you never knew it was this deep.

“Why didn’t you just tell me, Trev?” You asked him, your voice shaky a bit. You start to wonder how long he had been feeling this way, suddenly feeling guilty for not noticing it. The boy next to you scoffed a bit before answering as he opened another beer.

“I didn’t want to burden you with my stupid problems.”

“Trevor… you could never burden me. I care about you, so much―”

“You care about everyone.”

“Yeah, maybe I do, but I don’t care about them the way I care about you, Trevor. You’ve made me feel the best I ever have in years, you’ve helped me over come so many challenges in the last year, you’ve been there for me through everything. The way I care about you, Trev, I can’t even explain it. And I am so, so sorry I didn’t realized that something was wrong and hearing you talk about it makes me feel guilty that when you needed someone to help you, I wasn’t there.”

“You couldn’t of had known―”

“But I should’ve. I should’ve realized, Trev, and I am sorry I didn’t. You were there for me every time I was hurting, and when you were, I wasn’t.”

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it’s fine

Then, the next thing you knew, his lips were on yours, one of his hand cupping your cheek as your eyes grew wide. After a couple of seconds, the boy pulled back, his eyes focused on yours, and you waisted no time pulling him back in for another one.

Minutes later, your tongue met his in the middle, a small gasp leaving his mouth as you bit down on his lip. His other hand was now resting on your waist, holding you close, as one of your hand was holding onto the collar of his shirt tightly while the other was holding onto his neck. Then, both of his hands started making their way down to your thighs, softly rubbing them before picking you up and placing you on his lap, your lips never leaving each other’s.

Soon, his hands made their way back up your body, slipping under the shirt you were wearing, pulling you closer to him. Your mouths separated for split second and you took the opportunity to lift his shirt over his head, wasting no time to attack his necks with small kisses and love bites.

Groans slipped past Trevor’s mouth every time you bit down on the skin under his ear, and even more when you started moving your core over his. Your shit was next, joining his on the floor behind the couch, and this time he was the one to attack your chest. Your hips accelerating every time his mouth got closer and closer to your breasts and soon your bra joined the small pile of clothes.

“Trev!” You moaned as his lips attached around one of your nipples, pulling the hairs on the back of his neck as he did so, a loud groan echoing through his living room. Eventually, his lips left your body, your foreheads now leaning against the other’s, mouths inches apart, as you both grinded on each other, moans leaving both of your mouths. Then, you uttered the three words he had been dying to hear in since April.

“I need you.”

Yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

The biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

A grunt left your mouth as your back hit his mattress, his body soon leaning over yours as your lips attached, his hips meeting yours as you whined. You wanted nothing more in that moment than for his pants and underwear to disappear, as well as yours.

“So inpatient.” He mumbled as your lips parted, a smirk plastered on his face.

“Trev.” You whined, your hips leaving the comfort of the mattress to meet his, his smirk only growing even more. The forward waisted no time baring the both of your of your bottoms, creating a new pile of clothes, now in his bedroom instead of the living room.

As the morning hours rolled in, the two of you gave your everything to the other, your bodies, your wants, your heart. It was like you were back to last year, one of the happiest times of your life, spending each second that you could with the love of your life.

It was like April never happened, you had been stuck in time in March, the familiar sent of his cologne filling your nose as you feel asleep in his arms, your head tucked into his chest as his arms wrapped around your figure protectively, scared that you’d disappear and he’d lose all over again. In that moment, you felt true happiness in months, all the heartbreak and tears the boy had caused being forgotten by your undying love for him.

He was yours again, well at least for the night, but you didn’t want it to be just for tonight. You wanted him to be yours forever and always, you didn’t want to go back to how you were mere hours before, heartbroken and hung-up on the boy of your dreams. You had him right there, in your arms, and you weren’t ready to let go, not again. You lost him once, and you weren’t about to lose him twice.

At that moment, you decided that whatever happened when the two of you woke up, no matter how hard Trevor tried, or didn’t, to tell you to just forget it even happened, that it’d be best if the two of you didn’t see each other again, you weren’t gonna let him slip out of your grip without a fight like last time. You didn’t care if it took him days, or weeks to understand that there’s not other man you’d rather be with, having already decided that if you couldn’t have him, you were the spend the rest of your life alone. But, you needed him to understand that he was perfect for you, and that he was all you ever wanted.

Maybe he’ll never be yours again, but you’ll always be his.

Oh, yes, I know that he’s my ex

Can’t two people reconnect?

My brain goes, “Ah”

Can’t hear my thoughts

“Morning!” The Zegras boy exclaimed as you walked into his living room the next morning, well almost afternoon. All he was wearing was a plain pair of grey sweatpants, his boxer peaking over his waistband slightly. You had allowed yourself to dig through his closet, finding the pair of sweatpants and hoodie that were yours for most of the relationship before leaving his bedroom.

“Hi.” You whispered as you sat down on his couch. The boy sent you a small smile before throwing one of his arm on the back of the couch, something he always did.

“I just ordered breakfast, got you the same always.”

“Thank you.” You responded, and then a silence settled between the two of you as a news channel played on the TV. “How’s your head?”

“Huh?”

“You… you looked like you drank a lot last night.” You mumbled, keeping your eyes focused on the TV as you felt his looking at you.

“‘M fine. Had a little headache when I woke up, but I took an advil.” He answered, his eyes still looking at you as you nodded. “This is the part where you tell me we need to talk, isn’t it?” He added after a couple of seconds, another nod coming from you. He had a feeling about what you were about to say, and it wasn’t something he wanted to hear.

He had spent the whole morning prepping himself mentally to not break down if the words “mistake” and “forgot” left your mouth, telling himself he couldn’t just believe you’d come back after how he ended things previously. One of his solutions was avoiding eye contact, so he looked at the same place as you did, straight ahead.

“I get, I get that opening up and talking about things like insecurities is hard, Trev. It’s scary, you think people will judge you or making fun of you, of use it against you, trust me I know how it feels, but when you’re in a relationship with someone, that’s the kind of you stuff you can’t just hid from them. Especially if it makes you want to break up with them. That’s what I am here for, I am a safe space, Trev, nothing you tell me about how you feel or how you think will ever make me see you differently.

I love everything about you, Trevor, every little flaws about you just make me love you even more than I already do. To me, you’re perfect, Trevor. Everything about you is perfect to me, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, you’re the one for me, I know you are. And I get that hearing people say that you’re not good enough for me can be hard, but trust me when I saw, you’re perfect for me.” You stated.

His heart dropped as your words filled his ears, in a good way of course. You remembered, even though you were drunk, you still remembered his confession from the previous night. Just as he was about to say something, the doorbell rang and he quick to push himself off the couch, but before he could take a step, your hand gripped his. His head turned to look at you, only when his gaze met yours, tears were pooling in your eyes.

“Don’t runaway again, Trev, please.” You begged, your voice shaky and broken. You knew him, if he walked away right now, your conversation would never continue, he’d come back in the living room and pretend that it never happened, he’d runaway from it instead of facing it, just like he did last time. He hesitated for a bit, your eyes staying locked together, before he nodded slightly and sat back down.

“It hurts. When people say all those things about me not being good enough for you, or that you could do so much better than me. I hate it.” He admitted, his eyes looking down at the floor, your hand still gripping his as you moved closer.

“Trev, look at me.” You said, and when his head didn’t move, you grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at you. His eyes were watering as he blinked repeatedly, trying to hold his tears in. “I don’t care what people say about us, you’re way more than enough for me, and yeah, maybe I could do better, but I don’t want better, I want you.”

“Maybe you could do better?” He questioned, a little confused as to why you would chose to say that to him.

“Someone that doesn’t have only three functioning brain cells.” You joked, making the boy laugh a little.

“You love it.”

“I do. I really do, Trevor. Everything about, all your flaws and everything, I love.” You spoke, your voice soft and low. Your hand that previously grabbed his chin now cupping his cheek, a soft smile appearing on his face.

“I am sorry.” He said as a tear fell from his eyes, which you were quick to wipe away before wrapping both your arms around his neck, his going around your waist as you held each other close.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, love.” You whispered in his ear, only making his smile grow wider. In that moment, he realized that no matter issue he was dealing with, either from hockey or his personal life, you’d always be there for him, just like he always wanted to be there for you.

“Girlfriend?” He asked, making you pull your head away from his neck, but keeping your arms around him.

“Boyfriend.” You confirmed with a wide smile on your face, an identical ones plastered on Trevor’s face before the two of you leaned in and your lips locked together. Unlike all your kissed from the previous night, this one was slow and full of love. It wasn’t a quick, rushed and hungry one, no, it was one that only true lovers shared.

Thoughts

Blah

Thoughts

Blah

To say your mom was excited when you told her the news that you and Trevor were back together would be an understatement. A loud squeal came from the speaker of your phone, making you pull your phone away from your ear quickly as Trevor sent you a weird look. Before you even had time to say anything else to her, she hung out, claiming she had to go tell the good news to your father.

As for your friends, they were a little iffy about the situation, scared that the boy would break your heart once again, but eventually, they came around, realizing how in love the two of you were.

Trevor no longer ran away from his insecurities, now confronting them and talking about them with you, something you were extremely grateful for. All of his friends were over the moon when they heard that you were back together, tired of always hearing the Zegras boy mop over you.

As for you, you were the happiest you had ever been, everyday Trevor made sure to tell and show how much he loves and appreciates you, spoiling you with hugs and kisses.

Your life was perfect again.

#bri writes #trevor zegras #trevor zegras fluff #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras angst #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras smut #trevor zegras imagines #guts series

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celesteleoves · 1 year

Text

“I LIKE YOU.”

ೃ࿐ bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

warnings: insecurities briefly mentioned, fluff all around otherwise!

summary: katsuki has liked you for a very long time but doesn’t know what to do about these bundled up feelings, luckily kirishima is here to save the day!

katsuki could never say it out loud, in fear he would be taunted by his fellow classmates. although he wanted to shout and crow about how beautiful you were.

in all honesty, he wouldn’t actually do it. his reputation as a mean and gruff boy could not be ruined. he hated and loved how nobody looked his way in fear for a while. until, you punched your way into his life in his second year of middle school, literally. you had punched him in second grade for taunting izuku midoriya. he shut up around you after that.

now in U.A, he still cannot shake your kind face and light personality away from him. you had grown on him and you practically cling to him like he’s a toy that you cherish more than yourself. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it though.

“come on bakugou, be a man!” kirishima shook his best friends shoulder as he grumbled in response.

“I AM A MAN!” he growled at the red head who winced at his loud voice. currently, kirishima was trying to convince katsuki to ask you out.

“then do it!”

“NO!”

katsuki could feel his entire body heating up when he heard your voice, cheerfully laughing away with the 1A girls about your phone case that had bakugou and your family in a polaroid picture beneath the clear case. you had the impact on him to make his entire body burn, in a good way.

“bakugou looks so angry! he’s almost rolling his eyes.” ochako gasped as she pointed at him in the picture while the other girls silently agreed and said he, ‘made the picture glum with his scowl’

“oh stop, he looks great.” you protested as you fixed your posture in your seat, “in my opinion, he actually looks happy even if he isn’t smiling! you can tell by how his eyes slightly squint and do you see the shine in them too?” you rambled as the girls gave each other glances with small smirks on their faces.

you stopped talking as you noticed how quiet they had gotten. your face felt flushed as you covered it with your hands while the girls snickered.

“yeah, tell me you don’t like him again?” jirou let out a chuckle at your desperate, stuttering attempts to prove her wrong.

“i think he likes her too, don’t you? although, y/n i think you deserve someone who won’t call you names and try to kill you.” momo placed her hand on your shoulder very delicately.

your eyebrows furrowed at her remark. katsuki would never do anything to harm you unless it was during training and you two had to fight. while others weren’t looking, katsuki was actually the most attentive, gentle, and the sweetest boy you had ever met. he always listened to your rambles and never once interrupted. he was so perfect to you which is why you can’t help the heat that is brought to your face at the mention of him.

while you thought katsuki bakugou was perfect, he thought the opposite. he thought he was very rough around you, too stoic, too… him.

kirishima looked at bakugou as they sat not too far away from the group of girls. kirishima and bakugou were sitting at a table with a few of the other boys, who were in their own conversation or were in the kitchen.

kirishima noticed bakugous eyes drift to his scarred hands, picking at his skin with a small frown on his face. this frown was different from the one he normally held upon his lips, this one was formed due to doubt. eijirou could tell and he was NOT going to let his friend feel that way about himself ever.

“hey, katsuki. let’s go to the store and get y/n something! so you can finally confess to her.” he grabbed his arm and tugged him out of his seat as they made their way out of the dorms while telling the others and began rushing to the store. bakugou was so caught off guard he couldn’t say anything as he followed kirishima mindlessly before realizing.

“hah? WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHITTY HAIR I SAID I WASNT GOING TO CONFESS TO HER!” he growled but even though he said the opposite, he still followed kirishima who had a shit eating grin on his face.

“then why are you still following me?”

bakugou went quiet and kicked at the ground as they reached a nearby store.

he pushed past kirishima, grabbing your favourite snacks and drinks while kirishima confidently went over to the flower section.

katsuki came back to find eijirou holding a bouquet of flowers but they weren’t your favourites. katsuki growled and picked up your favourite flowers while kirishima stood there in awe with how bakugou could remember your favourite flower off the top of his head. man, he really was in love!

they payed for everything as kirishima filled with excitement. there was no doubt you would say yes now! he just knew it!

by the time they arrived to the dorms, it was almost completely dark outside. if mr. aizawa saw them sneaking inside the dorms this late he would surely lose his mind.

thankfully, nobody caught the two boys as they quickly went into kirishimas dorm room and prepared the gift. then, they made it to your dorm.

kirishima walked him to your dorm, spouting words of encouragement and hyping him up. kirishima knocked on the door but then ran off, leaving bakugou standing there with your gift in hand.

“GOOD LUCK BRO! YOU’RE THE MAN!”

“YOU BASTAR-” katsuki went to scream but was cut off when you opened your door with a confused look on your face that shifted to a happy one when you saw katsuki.

“kats! i haven’t seen you all day.” you scanned his features as you spoke, noticing his wide eyes and pink covered cheeks as you tilted your head in confusion.

you looked down at his hands that held a bouquet of flowers, candy and drinks and a stuffed animal that you had been wanting for weeks. what caught your eyes were that these were all your favourite things.

a feeling of nervousness and giddiness spread across your face as he spoke.

“i noticed you liked that stupid toy, so um, i got it for you.” you picked up the gifts and quickly walked into your dorm room. placing the bundle of items on your desk and opening the card that held thoughtful words in it and a “i like you, y/n”. you walked over to katsuki who stood in your doorway rocking back and forth on his feet nervously.

he went to back up as you said nothing but he had no time to react as you stood on your toes and kissed his cheek before quickly pulling away, hugging him and hiding your flushed face in his chest.

he wrapped his arms around your frame as a huge grin made its way onto his face. his mouth felt dry and his ears were practically steaming as you pulled back to see his face.

“i like you too, katsuki.” a smile that he wished to see everyday was spread on your lips as you happily looked at him with adoration.

he’s totally going to buy kirishima a thousand crimson riot shirts for this.

——————————————————————————

a/n: here’s little fluffy oneshot for our pookie katsuki. please message me if you have any issues with this or see any spelling errors!! ily. i was really doubtful about posting this so i hope you enjoy 🥹🥹.

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chamiryokuroi · 10 months

Text

My thoughts on Tim Drake: Robin #10 heavy spoilers under the cut

First of all got to say it wasn’t a bad ending if we consider they had to wrap up this arc in such a short amount of time, gotta give it to Meghan she managed to figure out a way to answer as many questions as possible and give us a relatively good ending for a series that I feel was canceled with no reason.

You can definitely feel that the story was planned to be done in more issues, the building blocks are all there for an amazing arc and it is sad we had to condense it all in one issue.

Now into a more in depth analysis of the comic of my favorite parts.

The Labyrinth was such and interesting point I wish we could have seen more of, specially with the fact this is the cult if Dionysus.

I absolutely adore the fact that Bernard is fully aware of Tim’s identiry because we get such funny interactions like this where Pie honestly thinks Tim is cheating on Bernard with Robin, and that panel of Bernard laughing because of that is one of my favorites for sure, boy is having so much fun, as he should.

Now in a more serious tone, this two panels tells us so much of how Tim feels, how insecure he is of his own place, not only on his family, but in the world as a whole. That second panel specifically where we see Bernard having fun while Tim is just on the bg, knowing how hard it must be for Tim to wrap his head around his sexuality even now, a year after coming out and starting dating Bernard, this feels realistic, sometimes when you come out later in life it feels as if you do not fit exactly with the community, and it can be hard to find your place.

If I had a nickel for every time a creepy cult tried to recruit Tim into their ranks I would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it is weird that it keeps happening.

This is honestly another point that feels like it was meant to be explored for longer before the cancelation notice came. At least it gives us an explanation of why Kate was acting the way she was, it took me a while to get it but basically after Tim saved Bernard from the cult back in Urban Legends Kate went around hunting down those that managed to escape, one of them being the son of this man that appears to be the leader of the cult, the son then took his own life and Kate was taken into the labyrinth, were we know Tim was being pumped with some hallucinogen gas of some sort, depending on how long she was on the labyrinth before managing to escape that might explain her memory loss, again this is all theorizing with what we are given since there wasn’t much space for it to be explain as it should.

And now we go back to Bernard who is looking around for Tim, going to all the people that knew him as Robin, and then those words “Tim takes care of everyone… but sometimes he needs someone to take care of him” hits me straight on the feels, Bernard is such a supportive boyfriend, he is definitely what Tim needs, someone that is there for him, not only for Tim, but also Robin.

Also the fact that Bernard is making his own homemade bat-signal with his hands is just adorable to me. Boy could had probably drove to Bruce’s house, but he doesn’t need Bruce’s help right now, he needs Batman.

And of course Batman responds. Bruce why were you following Bernard? Anyways, yet another great speech from Bernard “I thought you might be a ghost. Or you weren’t real. But the truth is you look sort of normal. Like regular-people normal.” Leave it to Bernard to understand exactly what Batman is, just a normal man trying to help as best as he can.

And then he says Tim needs help, not Robin, Tim. This is just Bernard out right telling Bruce “I know, and I don’t care, because Tim is in problem and you got to find him”

And then we get the best thing, Bernard, and Tim’s friends and family, rushing in to save him, just as he was losing hope of managing to leave the labyrinth alive. Absolutely in love with Bernard’s long ass coat.

And then we get to my favorite page. The uncertainty if it is really him or another hallucination, the confirmation that it is him, it is Bernard, here to save Tim. The hug, the way Tim is holding Bernard’s face, the only thing that would had made this better would had been a kiss.

And then we get to the ending, not much to say here, I just love these two pages, Tim just finally realizing he doesn’t need to be anyone else, that he can be himself and that he is right where he belong, and that he can be happy with that. The best ending we could have hope for with what we were allowed to have.

There are obviously many questions left unanswered.

What was exactly the Cult of Dionysus? Where did it came from?

What’s going on with Bernard’s parents?

What’s up with Moriarty? Who was his boss? What was his deal with Robin/Tim??

I am sad TD:R ended the way it did, had it been given the time to develop I feel it would had gotten better. But I am glad we managed to get as much as we did, now we just have to wait and see what will DC do now with Tim, and if Bernard will stay relevant or will they brush him under the rug.

#dc #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #this makes no sense but I just had to speak out #td:r spoilers #spoilers

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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 4 months

Text

Enchanted // JJ Maybank

request: none!

prompts: none!

summary: midsummer’s was the same thing every year, the same old boring party with the same old boring stuck up rich people that your parents considered their friends. but this year, something changes. there’s someone new there, and he ends up changing your life for more than one night.

warnings: language, reader overthinking, rafe momentarily being an asshole, slightly insecure reader, slightly insecure jj, a bit of ooc jj (he gets flustered and blushes), allusions to alcohol consumption, teeny tiny fight that gets resolved very quickly, readers dad being a smidgen manipulative (nothing that bad), allusions to sex but nothing explicit

word count: 5.9k

a/n: gn!reader, kook!reader, reader is implied to be shorter than jj (which i mean isn’t really that hard)

join my taglist!

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

“And so then I said, hey wait! That’s my boat!”

You forced a laugh at the punchline to a joke you didn’t quite understand, knowing that you had to maintain a happy and invested front every time your parents dragged you off to one of these extravagant parties that you had always held a distaste for. It was always the same, your mother treated you like her own personal dress up doll, shoving you into expensive clothes that you hated and perfecting your appearance just so that she could present you to her friends.

You were always expected to be on your best behavior, kind and polite, invested in conversations that you didn’t care about with people that you cared about even less. Midsummers was always the worst. Your parents were usually uptight and controlling during these fancy events, but during Midsummers, their Kook craziness was practically tripled. It was suffocating, and frankly, exhausting.

Everyone around you was fake, and you knew that. No one really cared about each other or anything actually going on in each other’s lives. It was all a show, a way to brag to each other about their possessions and show off their wealth. It was sickening. The other side of the island was struggling to even afford food and shelter, and here you were, surrounded by selfish people with endless riches who wouldn’t even think about helping someone else with their money.

You politely excused yourself, stepping away from the conversation and walking off to an empty section of the porch wrapped around the Island Club. You needed a break, if you had to keep up that perfect little rich kid act any longer, you knew that you would snap. And you didn’t want to deal with the disappointed looks from your parents and the pitying looks from others at your building outburst. So you decided to walk away, in order to collect yourself you had to go somewhere where you could be alone.

Or at least, you thought you were alone.

Walls of insincerity

Shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

You heard him before you saw him. Hurried footsteps and curses mumbled under his breath. You couldn’t recognize his voice, which intrigued you because you knew everyone from your side of the island, and you knew everyone at Midsummers. And yet, there was someone new approaching you. A stranger. And when you turned to face him, your interest was piqued even more.

He was gorgeous. Unkempt blond hair and the bluest eyes you had ever seen. You felt your heart stop for a moment as you just looked at him. He didn’t seem to notice you yet, and you weren’t sure if you wanted him to, not wanting the trance he had set you in to be broken.

He was wearing something that almost looked like the uniform the waiters wore, but there were noticeable differences. The coloring of the vest was off, and he wore a bowtie instead of the ties worn by the rest of the waiters. He didn’t belong there, but he was trying to make it seem like he did.

Most of the people there didn’t spare a second glance to the “help”, which would probably explain how his uninvited presence had so far been undetected. But you were different, you noticed people and you noticed things about them. You saw everyone as a person and gave them the attention they deserved, unlike the shallow Kooks who looked down on anyone who didn’t live in Figure 8.

He kept walking towards you, still blissfully unaware of your presence. The more you looked at him, the more you felt yourself wanting to know everything about him. Everything in your life was a certainty, everything perfectly formulated and planned by people who weren’t you. Just once in your life, you wanted something different. You wanted to experience something where you wouldn’t know what was going to happen next. And for some reason, you felt like that experience would be him.

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"

Across the room, your silhouette

Starts to make its way to me

The stranger finally looked up, his eyes catching yours, and he froze. He had just seemed like he was in a hurry, panicking about something, but all of that seemed to fade away when he looked into your eyes.

You watched him curiously, a smile dancing across your face at his dazed expression. He walked over to you, slower than he had been walking before, a smile of fake confidence on his face. You took a few steps forward to meet him, your eyes still lost in his.

“H-hi. I’m JJ,” the stranger said, noticeably wincing when he stuttered.

You simply smiled back at him, your heart pounding inside your chest from how close you were to him. “Y/n.”

He opened his mouth to respond when you both heard a group of people running in your direction. His eyes widened in panic as he looked back over his shoulder. You leaned to the side to see what he was looking at, and you scrunched your face up in disgust at the sight of Rafe, Topper, and Kelce. Of course it was them. Could they just go one night without starting a fight or harassing someone who just looked at them in the wrong way?

“This is probably gonna sound really strange, but can you hide me? Or misdirect them? Just something, please?”

You glance back at his panicked face, and you know what was about to happen. Rafe and his two little sidekicks were about to jump the poor guy, who probably didn’t even do anything to provoke them. You nodded and grabbed JJ’s arm, leading him over to the railing on the porch.

“Jump down, hide in the bushes. I’ll get rid of them.”

JJ looked relieved and smiled gratefully, doing as you said and hiding himself in the bushes the best that he could. You turned around and pretended to be busy on your phone when Rafe, Topper, and Kelce finally approached you.

“Y/n! Hey!” Rafe said, a fake smile plastered on his face. “You didn’t happen to see someone running through here, did you? Pogue, fake waiter uniform?”

You pretended to think for a moment before nodding. “Oh yeah! He just ran through here about a minute ago. He jumped over the railing and ran towards the water, probably to a boat or something. He’s probably gone by now. Why? Did something happen?”

Rafe clenched his jaw in frustration as he looked past you towards the shore. “Not yet. We probably scared him away. Oh well. We’ll get him next time.”

You nodded and forced a smile, pretending to be pleased with that response. The three of them walked away, all looking very pissed off, and you waited until they were out of sight to turn back to where JJ was hiding.

“Okay, the coast is clear. They’re gone,” you said, smiling softly when you saw JJ crawling out of the bushes.

You reached down to grab his hands, helping him back onto the porch. He brushed the dirt off of his clothes before looking back up at you and smiling.

The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

“So, what’d you do to piss them off? Breathe near them?”

JJ laughed at your words, a smile overtaking his face. He was beautiful, and you knew right then and there, that you would do anything to see him smile.

“Surprisingly, nothing. Usually I tend to provoke them, accidentally or not, but this time all I did was walk by them and then they were trynna jump me!”

“You probably did it wrong. Rafe is very particular about how people walk. You do it wrong, he’ll beat the shit out of you,” you said in a faux serious tone, barely keeping a straight face as you spoke.

As soon as you finished speaking, you and JJ bursted into laughter, despite what you said not being that funny. It was just something about him, just being with him made you feel lighter than air, his smile infectious and his laughter contagious. And you had a sneaking suspicion that he felt the same way about you.

“Y’know, you’re not like any other Kook that I’ve met before,” JJ remarked, slightly out of breath from his fit of laughter.

You raised an eyebrow at his words. “In a good way, I hope?”

“Definitely,” JJ said, stepping closer to you. “You’re the first one I’ve met that’s treated me like a person, not like something less than.”

“Everyone deserves to be treated like a person. It drives me insane when I see the way that even my own parents talk to people who they deem less than us. It’s such bullshit.”

“You really aren’t like the rest of the Kooks. What’re you doing here then? At this fancy Kook party with all of the fancy Kook snobs?”

You groaned and rolled your eyes, the topic already annoying you. “Trust me, definitely not my decision. My parents drag me along to all their little parties, showing me off like I’m some prized show dog. I hate it.”

“So why don’t you just leave?”

You sighed longingly. “I wish I could. This is as close to leaving as I can get. My parents would lose their shit if they found out that I left.”

“If they really annoy you so much, why do you care what they think?”

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

Before you could even get the chance to think about a response, you heard your father calling your name. You looked over to see him standing near the now almost empty dance floor, searching for you in the dwindling crowd.

You turned back to JJ with a frown, and he already seemed to know what you were going to say.

“It’s fine, I get it. You have to go, and you don’t want to be seen with me. Am I right?”

You shook your head, reaching forward to grab his hands, his touch almost electrifying you. “It’s not that. I mean, yes I have to go. But, I don’t care about being seen with you. It’s just, I don’t know what my dad is going to say to you if he does see us. He’s… judgemental. And that’s putting it lightly. I just don’t want you to have to deal with another one of his moods.”

JJ smiled softly at your words. You weren’t ashamed of him, you were trying to protect him. Not that you really needed to, he could handle himself and he was definitely used to dealing with unkind comments from people who looked down on him. But just knowing that you were trying to protect him from all of that made his heart flutter.

“Y/n!” your father called again, seeming a bit more impatient than he had been the previous time.

You noticed the pen sticking out of JJ’s pocket and grabbed it, taking his hand in yours and writing your number on his arm.

“I’d like to see you again, if you’d like that too. You’re the first real person I’ve ever met.”

Before JJ could respond, you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You pulled away and smiled at his dazed expression before turning around and running over to your parents. You had barely spoken to him for more than five minutes, but there was an undeniable chemistry between the two of you. And you knew that you were definitely going to see him again.

This night is sparklin', don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushin' all the way home

I'll spend forever wonderin' if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

“There you are! Where have you been? Your mother and I were worried sick!” your father said, rushing over to you when he saw you approaching and immediately pulling you into a tight hug.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at his dramatics. You had only been gone for ten, maybe fifteen minutes at the most. That’s hardly long enough to warrant worry, and you knew he was overreacting in an attempt to make you feel guilty about wandering off. And his manipulation used to work on you, before you finally became aware of what he was doing, learning how to perfect your responses to give him what he wanted, without allowing yourself to fall victim to his mind games. It wasn’t like he was a particularly bad father, he was just overprotective and set in his ways, and he thought that the only way that you could succeed in life was to be perfect, which is exactly how he was trying to make you.

“Sorry! I hadn’t realized that I was gone for so long. But… I met a guy,” you said vaguely, trying to introduce the possibility of a new presence in your life as gently as possible, and without revealing that he wasn’t the type of boy your father was expecting you to be interested in.

“Oh? And who is this mystery man?”

You smiled, your mind getting lost in thoughts of JJ. “Well I could tell you, but then he wouldn’t be a mystery.”

The lingering question kept me up

2AM, who do you love?

I wonder 'til I'm wide awake

You laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling, your mind racing with thoughts as the memories from just a few hours ago played on loop inside your head. Now it was two in the morning, and you couldn’t stop yourself from overthinking even if you tried. Was JJ actually into you like you thought he was? Were you just misreading everything? Maybe he was just looking for a friend, and you had gone and scared him away with a kiss.

You sat up, groaning in frustration. There was no way that you were going to get to sleep now. Your thoughts had scared you awake, and now you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering even further. What if he was already with someone? That wasn’t an entirely unreasonable thought. Only a few minutes spent with him and you already thought he was perfect. Why wouldn’t someone else feel the same way?

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you muttered to yourself, opening your phone to check your messages to see if you had missed something.

But of course, there was nothing. He hadn’t texted you. Granted, it had been close to midnight when you got home and it had only been a few hours since you met him, but in your anxiety-filled state, you couldn’t help but think that you blew it. You either drove him away or made a move on a taken man. And you were likely never going to see him again.

Unless…

And now, I'm pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say

"Hey, it was enchanting to meet you"

All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

You stood up, throwing the covers off of your legs, and started to pace back and forth in front of your bed, your thoughts racing as you fell into a spiral. Maybe he did feel the exact same way as you. He had stuttered when he introduced himself, maybe he was just really nervous around you. If he was nervous, then it would make sense that he hasn’t called or texted you yet. Maybe he’s just too scared too!

You paused, grimacing when you realized how out of control your thoughts had gotten. You had begun reading into every single little thing, stretching details and fabricating stories, creating something out of nothing. You didn’t know how he felt, and realistically, you had no way of knowing unless he told you. And now it was almost three in the morning, he was probably asleep and you wouldn’t hear anything from him at least until the sun was up.

You sat down on your bed, feeling your mind slow down as you came back to reality. You knew you were overthinking, and that continuing to do so would only drive you mad. And yet, you couldn’t help yourself from imagining scenarios, daydreaming about what you wanted to happen and fantasizing about what-ifs and maybes.

You knew it was impossible, but you wished JJ would show up at your front door. He would tell you that he felt that same spark that you felt, and that it wasn’t all in your head. The two of you would walk down the shore, talking about anything and everything until the sun came up. Then he would walk you back to your door and just as you were about to walk inside, he’d grab your hand and spin you around, kissing you like you had never been kissed before.

You felt your stomach erupt into butterflies at just the thought of it. It all seemed so perfect. You knew that it wasn’t real, but maybe, one day, it could be.

This night is sparklin', don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushin' all the way home

I'll spend forever wonderin' if you knew

“Ooo, someone’s all giddy. What’s going on with you? Finally meet your Prince Charming?” Sarah said teasingly as she sat down beside you in the sand.

You were at a kegger on the beach, far from your usual scene, but you knew that JJ would probably be there. Which is why you said yes when Sarah invited you, making her squeal in excitement about you finally agreeing to come to a party with her. And now you were sat by yourself, your eyes scanning the crowd as you looked for the most beautiful guy you had ever seen.

You smiled, feeling your face heat up in a blush. “You could say that…”

Sarah’s eyes widened as she grabbed your arm and shook you with excitement. She had been continuously trying to set you up with someone, knowing how much you longed to not be alone. Every single date had been a disaster, each Kook she had chosen for you just as insufferable as the last. She had practically given up hope, but here you were, almost giggling to yourself at just the thought of him.

“Really?! I need to know everything! Spill!”

You bit your lip as you smiled, feeling yourself grow continually more flustered the longer you thought about him. “You probably know him. His name is JJ. I met him a few days ago at Midsummers, and I just felt this spark. I gave him my number, but he hasn’t even texted yet. It’s probably not gonna go anywhere, but I thought that maybe I could find him here and try again.”

Sarah’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh my god! You’re the mystery person from Midsummers!”

“What…?” you asked, not following what Sarah was saying.

“John B told me about it. JJ met someone at Midsummers, you, and you wrote your number on his arm. He forgot to write your number down before he went surfing. Your number washed off! That’s why he hasn’t texted you, he can’t!”

“Wait, really? So, I didn’t scare him away or something?”

“No! He’s practically been beating himself up over it. I heard him say that this was the first time he believed in love at first sight! C’mon, I know where he is! Let’s go!”

Sarah stood up and grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet, before she took off running towards where her new friends were, dragging you along behind her.

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wonderin' if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

“JJ! JJ!” Sarah called as she approached them, capturing the attention of the blond boy, who looked up when he heard his name being called.

JJ stood up and walked over to Sarah, not noticing your presence just yet. “What? Is something wrong?”

Sarah shook her head and smiled, stepping aside so JJ could see you better. His eyes widened when he saw you, and you could almost see a faint blush painting his cheeks.

“Found them! I’ll let you two catch up. But just know, if you hurt them, I will kill you,” Sarah said, trying her best to appear threatening.

“So… lost my number, huh?” you asked, a teasing smile on your face.

JJ smiled sheepishly, pulling off his baseball cap and running a hand through his hair. “Yeah… guess you could say I had a bit of a blond moment.”

You laughed softly, taking a step closer to him. “I was going crazy. Thought I scared you off or something.”

JJ shook his head, smiling at you once more. “I don’t think that’s even possible.”

“I should hope so. According to Sarah, you said it was love at first sight.”

JJ’s eyes widened as he face went red with embarrassment. “She- uhm… she said that? Did she say anything else…?”

“No… Why? Something else I should know?” you grinned, inching closer to him until your hands were brushing together.

“Uhh, no I don’t think so. Nothing that important,” JJ said, trying to avert his gaze from yours, but ultimately being unable able to keep his eyes off of you for that long.

“I think we should pick up where we left off. Y’know, since we were so rudely interrupted last time.”

JJ smiled, his nerves slowly subsiding. “That sounds like a great idea.”

This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the storyline ends

JJ moved closer to you, one of his hands resting against your waist as the other came up to cup the side of your face. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. There wasn’t any more space between the two of you, it was becoming impossible to tell where he ended and where you began. And before you even had the chance to start overthinking, JJ leaned in.

Time stopped when his lips touched yours. Everything around you disappeared, fading into the background. Nothing else mattered but you and him, and this moment you were sharing. It was magical. That was the only way you could think of to describe it. His lips moving against yours gently, you could practically feel him telling you everything he hadn’t said yet. It was truly unlike anything you had experienced before, just like you had dreamed it would be.

“Wow,” you whispered, not realizing that you had voiced your feelings aloud.

“My thoughts exactly,” JJ said, resting his forehead against yours.

The sound of cheers and applause broke you and JJ out of your moment, and you turned to see his friends and Sarah cheering at the two of you for kissing, causing JJ’s face to turn red, which he then tried to hide in your neck.

“Never had you pegged as the shy type, JJ,” John B said, laughing at his friend’s embarrassment.

“I’m not,” JJ mumbled against your neck, pulling you closer to him.

You laughed softly, running your fingers through his hair. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Oh, shut up,” he replied, a slight whine in his voice.

“Make me.”

“Gladly.”

And JJ kissed you again.

My thoughts will echo your name

Until I see you again

These are the words I held back

As I was leaving too soon

“I should get going soon. I have a curfew,” you said, smiling apologetically at JJ.

“You’re Kook royalty, of course you have a curfew,” JJ said, the usual amount of snark in his voice without any malice present.

“You better not lose my number this time,” you warned, poking him on the shoulder.

He grinned. “Already got it saved. And besides, even if I did happen to lose it again, I could always get it from Sarah.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled at him, already completely smitten for the boy you’ve only spent a few hours with. You weren’t normally like this, you almost never fell that hard for someone that fast, but things were different with JJ. He just had some kind of effect on you, and you just couldn’t help falling head over heels for him.

You kissed him quickly before standing up to walk away, when you felt him grab your hand and pull you back, spinning you into his lap so he could kiss you again. Your hands rested against his neck as you kissed him back, feeling yourself getting lost in the moment. Until Sarah cleared her throat.

“Ahem. Parents. Curfew. Ten minutes. Any of this ringing a bell?”

She sounded frustrated, but you knew she wasn’t actually upset. Reluctantly, you pulled away from JJ, pressing one more quick kiss to his lips before standing up and walking over to Sarah.

“Alright, grumpy. Let’s go home,” you said, elbowing Sarah in the side as you burst into a fit of laughter.

You started walking away with her, only to turn around and look back at JJ one more time. “I’ll see you soon, handsome.”

You could barely contain your smile at the way his cheeks turned red from your words.

I was enchanted to meet you

Please, don't be in love with someone else

Please, don't have somebody waiting on you

Please, don't be in love with someone else

Please, don't have somebody waiting on you

“Is it true that you’re dating JJ Maybank?” your friend Scarlet asked you, shock evident on her face.

“Well… not exactly dating. Yet,” you replied, a lovestruck smile on your face.

“You’ve heard about his reputation, right?” she asked, donning a concerned frown.

Your smile faltered and you scrunched your brows in confusion. “Reputation?”

Her eyes widened. “You really don’t know?”

You sighed, glaring over at her. “Just tell me.”

“He’s a player. Every time he gets involved with someone, he sleeps with them and then dumps them the next day. I just don’t want you to get your heart broken when the same thing happens to you.”

Everything fell silent around you as her words replayed in your head. Was she right? Was that really all JJ wanted from you? You thought there was a connection, something real between the two of you. God, how could you have been so stupid?!

“I- I have to go,” you mumbled, standing up and walking away from the bonfire you were sat at with your friends, stumbling slightly in your daze.

Scarlet called out to you, but you couldn’t make out what she said. You just kept walking until you found your bike, mounting it and pedaling all the way home. Your mind wandered over the memories of your two short days with JJ. Everything had been moving so fast. How could you have thought there was something real? Of course that’s all he wanted from you. That’s all guys ever wanted from you.

You got to your house, letting your bike fall to the ground as you walked towards the porch. You had almost made it to the door when you noticed something out of the corner of your eye. A red motorcycle. One that definitely didn’t belong to either of your parents.

You paused your movements and turned to look at it, suddenly noticing the person standing next to it. JJ. What was he doing here? Hadn’t he already done enough? Maybe he was here to finally end it, getting out before you got too attached.

“Hey!” he called out, walking over to you with a smile that you didn’t return.

Your lips turned down into a pout as you gazed at him, forcing out a meek, “Hi,” in response.

This night is sparklin', don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushin' all the way home

I'll spend forever wonderin' if you knew

JJ finally reached you, his hand coming up to rest against your cheek.

“What’s wrong? Why do you look so sad, beautiful?”

You huffed, gently pushing his hand away from you. “What do you want?”

JJ put his hands up in defense as he looked at you in bewilderment. “Woah, someone’s hostile. What’s going on? Did I upset you or something?”

“I know what you’re trying to do. And it isn’t going to work.”

“Okay…,” JJ raised an eyebrow at you, still utterly confused. “And what exactly do you think I’m trying to do?”

“I heard about you from Scarlet. Your reputation. How you sleep with people and then ghost them right after. Is that really all I am to you? Another chance for a hookup?”

JJ let out a puff of air, looking slightly deflated. “Alright, I may have done stuff like that in the past, but that was only because I didn’t really care about any of them.”

“Wow. You’re really helping your case here.”

JJ groaned in exasperation, running his fingers through his hair frustratedly. “No, what I meant was… that’s all they were. Hookups. Both sides knew that and didn’t care. But with you… it’s different.”

Your tough demeanor softened slightly at his words and you took a tentative step towards him. “How so?”

“I- I actually care about you. I have feelings for you. I’ve never felt like this for someone before. It’s all new and terrifying, but you’re worth it all. I don’t want to just use you for a one night stand, or anything like that. I want you and I want to be with you for as long as you’ll let me.”

JJ’s expression softened as he continued to look at you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. You smiled softly, reaching up to place your hand against his cheek. JJ put his hand on top of yours, leaning into your touch. Your heart warmed at the sight.

“I want to be with you too. So badly. I guess I just got scared when I heard all of that because I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want to be just another meaningless night to you.”

“You could never be meaningless to me. You’re so much more than that. You’re everything.”

This night is flawless (Please, don't be in love with someone else)

Don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck (Please, don't have somebody waiting on you)

Dancing around all alone

“Are you sure about this? What if they don’t like me?” you asked, biting your lip nervously as you glanced up at JJ.

He simply smiled and leaned down to kiss you, immediately washing away all of your worries with just one touch. It’d been a month since you and JJ first met, and now you were finally official. The only thing left was for him to introduce you to his friends, who you only met once at a party, while they were all wasted. This was your chance for a do over, and you wanted everything to be perfect.

“You’re my significant other, of course they’ll like you! And even if they don’t, which would never ever happen, I’ll make them like you. So really, you have nothing to worry about either way.”

You smiled at him, trying to calm your nerves as you gripped his hand tightly. “I hope you’re right.”

“I am right. Trust me. Now, c’mon. They’re waiting,” JJ said, smiling excitedly as he led you over to John B’s backyard where everyone was sitting around a fire pit.

“There you are, man. Thought you got lost or something,” John B said, a joking grin on his face.

He finally took notice of you standing beside JJ and furrowed his brows in confusion. Apparently he hadn’t remembered meeting you at that kegger.

“Who’s-,” John B started, only to get cut off by Sarah.

“Y/n!” she cheered excitedly, standing up and rushing over to hug you.

You hugged her back, relieved that you had at least one friend there. Sarah let you go and turned back to the group.

“Guys, this is y/n. Y/n, this is everyone!”

“Wha- hey! I wanted to introduce them!” JJ said, pouting at Sarah.

You giggled and turned to face him, kissing his cheek and instantly putting a smile back on his face.

“Woah! Okay, when did this happen?” Kie asked, looking between you and JJ in shock.

“So, you guys remember the person I met at Midsummers?” JJ asked, a giddy smile on his face.

“Yeah, the one who’s number you lost by being an idiot,” Pope said, not following where JJ was going.

“Well, here they are!” he said, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into him.

“What?! How?! You said you lost their number,” Pope asked in shock.

“You can thank me for that,” Sarah said, smiling proudly at her actions. “Y/n agreed to come with me to a kegger for once, and then I found out it was only because they were looking for JJ. I gave them each others’ numbers and the rest is history.”

I'll spend forever (Please, don't be in love with someone else)

Wonderin' if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

“Hey JJ?” you asked, lifting your head from its place on his chest.

The two of you were lying on a hammock in John B’s backyard. Everyone else had fallen asleep already, leaving just the two of you alone in a peaceful silence.

“Yeah?” He tilted his head to look down at you, his eyes blinking sleepily.

“I love you. I- I know it’s really early and all, but I do. And I just thought you should know.”

JJ’s eyes widened in surprise, and you took that as a bad reaction, instantly panicking and trying to take back your words.

“Uhm- what I meant was… I mean, what I was really trying to say… I- I didn’t-,” you rambled, JJ cutting you off by placing his hand over your mouth.

“Hey. None of that now. I- I love you too. I’m just not used to hearing someone say that they love me. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before. At least, not from someone who actually meant it. Except from these guys, but still…” JJ smiled awkwardly, feeling himself begin to ramble.

You placed your hands on his cheeks and leaned in to kiss him, pouring all of your love for him into your actions and making sure he could feel just how much you really loved him.

“Well I love you, JJ Maybank. And I mean it.”

He smiled up at you, hearts in his eyes, and he pulled you back down for another kiss.

“I don’t even wanna imagine what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t met you.”

You smiled at his words, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re the best thing in my life, JJ. And the only good thing to ever come from Midsummers,” you said, laughing softly at your words.

“I love you,” JJ said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you back into his embrace.

Please, don't be in love with someone else

Please, don't have somebody waiting on you

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