#and I think I’ve come a long ways until someone shows romantic interest in me

[bass-alien]

🙃

#the accuracy #and I’ve worked so hard these past years to heal from that #and I think I’ve come a long ways until someone shows romantic interest in me #and then I run #because letting someone in again even after all this time terrifies me

[booksandabeer]

Ramblings on Fandom: Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Delusional Shippers, and Alleged Misogyny

So with the release of Season 2 of What If…? emotions are once again running high, the outrage is outraging, and people are up in arms about the whole Captain Carter situation. While I do think that some reactions are a little overblown, even needlessly aggressive in tone to the unfortunate detriment of their otherwise convincing arguments, I share the confusion and frustration about the sudden centering of a long-dead & never excessively popular character, the sidelining of the Steve-Bucky friendship, and the as-inexplicable-as-it-is-total exclusion of Sam Wilson as Captain America. However, I’m not here to talk about the show because (1) I haven’t watched this season and have no plans to (why waste time torturing myself with something I know I’ll hate?) and (2) other people have already written dozens of metas about it, so what could I possibly add at this point.

What I do want need to talk about (lest I explode) is something that has irritated me for a long time and that is now happening again: Every time someone even mildly criticizes Peggy Carter, expresses doubts about her suitability as a heroine, or even just questions her disproportionate importance to the franchise post-EG, inevitably a certain section of fans will come out of the woodwork to immediately throw around accusations of misogyny and yell about how we’re all just a bunch of delusional Stuckies who are mad that she got "in the way" of our ship. Sigh.

This is gonna be a long one, so I’ll put it under a cut. Rant incoming. You've been warned. If you don't want to read, simply scroll on by.

First of all, let me state very clearly that I’m not debating the existence of misogyny and sexism in fandom spaces—or in the media from which these fandoms originate. At all. It exists, it’s a thing, I’m not denying that. Which is exactly why it frustrates me endlessly to see these accusations thrown around as a gotcha! argument to shut down any and all critical debate around a female character. All it does in the end is escalate rhetoric and radicalize attitudes.  

In the case of Peggy Carter, specifically her treatment by Stucky shippers, I’ve always found 'misogyny as a motive' to be a largely unsubstantiated accusation.¹ Now, I neither presume nor do I want to speak for the entirety of Stuckynation, so I will not claim that there aren't corners of the fandom where people discuss her in ways that I find off-putting and deeply unserious, but I will say this: If you genuinely believe that disliking one (1) fictional female character equals “hating all women” and wanting to suppress and marginalize their presence in fiction and real life alike—then I think we need to take that word away from you until you’ve learned its true meaning.

You might also want to ask yourself how exactly reducing a female character to a mute trophy wife or a heroine who has to act out her love interest’s recycled storylines helps your feminist fight.

As to the “standing in the way of your ship” part of the argument. Very simply put: No character can stand in the way of something if there never ever was “a way” to that something to begin with. “Being mad” implies that there was a reasonable expectation that wasn’t met, a substantive hope that was crushed. Now, I’ve said this before and I’ll gladly say it again a million more times: No Stucky shipper in their right mind ever truly thought that there was even the slightest chance that Marvel Studios owned by the Walt Disney Company would allow Steve “Captain America” Rogers and Bucky “Winter Soldier” Barnes to be canonized as an explicitly romantic pairing in their billion dollar franchise. Be serious. That was never in the cards. I wish we all lived in a world where it was, but we don’t, and it wasn’t. The best we could ever hope for was for Steve and Bucky to get a good, satisfying, in-character ending. And if, in Steve’s case, that would’ve included hints (or more) about a possible rekindling of his, uh, aborted romance with Sharon—then so be it. But we never got any of that. The characters never got any of that. Instead they sent Steve into 1950s suburban hell, literally trapped him behind a white picket fence, and condemned him to a life of passivity and lies, all so he could be married to a woman he barely knew a long time ago in a completely different world; who built and ran a top-to-bottom Hydra-infested organization, but apparently never noticed that there was anything wrong with her life's work. For decades. Great. As for Bucky—well, we’ve all seen the devastatingly grim-faced, utterly lonely, and deeply sad version of him that was presented to us in TFATWS. Happy endings all around, I guess.

So. Am I mad that Steve didn’t get to ride into the rainbow-colored sunset with Bucky at the end of EG? No. Because that was never going to happen anyway. Would I have been mad had he ended up with Sharon or another female character in the 21st century? Also no. Granted, I wouldn’t have been ecstatic about it, but mad? No. But am I mad that Steve ended up with this specific female character under these specific circumstances as presented in canon? Fuck yeah, I am.

The thing is: I personally believe Steve and Peggy to be fundamentally incompatible when it comes to the way they view the world and their respective places in it; their morals and values; their capacity for compassion and empathy; their ability and willingness to compartmentalize, compromise, and collaborate with people and institutions whose ethics and/or politics do not align with their own. I have a real hard time believing that a relationship between these two (or worse, a hasty marriage) could be either happy or long-lasting.

I don’t believe Peggy to be inherently evil, I don’t hate her, I simply think she operates within a different moral framework than Steve (and even genuinely believes it to be a righteous one).² Your mileage may vary, but I personally happen to find that framework reprehensible, even indecent, and ultimately dangerous. After all, over the course of the 20th century, we have seen exactly where that kind of “the ends justify the means” brand of pragmatism leads—over and over again. Not to mention that the people who use this line of argument to defend characters like Peggy (or real-life politicians for that matter) never seem to want to look too closely at who gets to define what "the ends" are in the first place and who decides when they've finally been met.

(Never. The answer is never.)

And to be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with depicting, and even centering a narrative around a morally (dark)gray character—oftentimes it’s actually the more interesting option—but you cannot at the same time claim that they are purely good and should be only admired as such when their actions literally tell an entirely different story.

So, no. I will not accept Peggy Carter as the shining aspirational heroine that the MCU so badly wants to sell her to me as—while simultaneously continuing to reveal things that paint an increasingly darker picture of her character. And I will certainly not celebrate seeing one of my favorite characters of all time—whose defining trait was that he couldn't ignore "a situation pointed south"; who used to fight for the little guy and against the establishment; who once said about the very organization that Peggy Carter helped build that it was so corrupt, it all needed to go—rendered morally inert for some hollow happy ending that may as well be a conservative’s wet dream full of false nostalgia for an America that never really existed. I cannot find it in me to be anything less but mad about that.

But that does not make me a misogynist. It does not make me a delusional shipper. It makes me someone who looks at what the MCU has been telling me about Peggy Carter for years now—over and over again—and takes it at its own word.

--------

¹ If you’ve actually read a a fair number of Stucky(!) fanfics you will have noticed that the reverence afforded to and "page time" devoted to her character and her relationship with Steve is somewhat disproportionate to anything that's backed up by canon—well, up until EG, where she was suddenly reanimated as The Great Love of Steve’s Life—and in my experience, it's highly unusual for any fandom to put so much (mostly) positive attention on another character, let alone a potential love interest that is not part of the endgame ship.

² I also want to emphasize that if you love Peggy and she's your fave: good for you! I genuinely have no beef with you. People can agree to disagree. All I ask for is that we maybe stop willfully ignoring the less savory aspects of her character. You don't need to pretend she's perfect to justify your affection for her. I LOVE Steve, and yet I have no problem conceding that he is FAR from perfect.

#*drops post & runs away* i may regret this but it's my blog and i rant if i want to #i know some people will roll their eyes & i debated posting this at all but i simply had to get it off my chest once and for all. #so there. now i can be free. or something. #also i have no idea what to tag this & i personally find 'anti' tags silly bc why is critical discussion automatically labeled as 'anti'? #but whatever i'll play nice. so i guess: #anti peggy carter #anti steggy #anti endgame #hope that covers it #wading into the dIsCoUrsE

[luvrxbunny]

look at me

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: The way you look at Joel proves to be an issue for him.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, piv, unprotected sex (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 2.1k

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written, also the first smut so please be gentle

Joel is so in love with you, that you almost don’t know how to handle it. He looks at you like you’re everything to him.. after Ellie of course.

When you first started pursuing Joel you didn’t expect him to fall for you. After all he’s been through you weren’t entirely sure he was capable of loving someone that way, romantically. Nevertheless, you wanted him to know you were interested. You wanted to be his person at least. You figured it was better than nothing, this way you can project your love onto him without him being too uncomfortable. 

You just needed him to know that he was loved by you, greatly.

The results of pursuing Joel were exponentially better than you could've ever hoped for. He loves you back, viciously. After a few months of outwardly loving Joel, having long deep conversations with him, and exchanging dreams, and opinions, he asked you, “Why are you… like this… towards me?” his southern accent drowned in genuine curiosity. 

You answered him honestly “I want you to feel the love I have for you.. I think you deserve it”. You’ll never forget his reaction, the way his eyes widened. The way his chest expanded with his gasp before lunging at you desperate to press his lips against yours. You guys spent the rest of the night on his porch giggling and kissing like kids until you both fell asleep.

It's been a year since then and your love for Joel has only grown since. His love for you exploded, completely consuming him. 

He was closed off at first, still cautious of you and your supposed love for him. He was waiting for you to realize that you were wrong, that you didn't love him. 

That never happened. 

After realizing you were here to stay, his personality flipped.

 He was suddenly all over you, burying his face in your neck whenever he could, constantly wanting to be with you, to touch you. He regularly gets out of bed early just to make coffee and toast for you both. He’s attentive, he listens, and he wants to make you happy. He is caring, he makes sure that you get sunlight every day and that you’re drinking enough water. He likes to take you on walks, explaining things he sees, and the memories he has associated with them. He whispers loving words into your ears without being prompted, he just wants you to know.

However, with this intense love he has, also comes a certain amount of sensitivity he has when getting sexual with you.

You’re bouncing on his cock, your hips slapping wetly into his. He’s groaning out for you as you grind your hips into his desperately. Your face towards the ceiling as you moan out praises of his name. He moans in response “‘Ya like that, baby?” 

You pull your gaze downward as you keep bouncing on his cock. He’s doing most of the work at this point, pulling your hips up and dragging them back down to meet his. “I love it s’much” You fuck yourself on him faster, desperately chasing your release. “Joel- Fuck keep going please” 

You whine at him as you press your lips against his, and heat pools quickly in the bottom of your stomach. You meet his soft brown eyes, currently clouded with lust but he averts your gaze. 

He always does this, you can feel him staring at you. He watches your expression, sorting what you do and don’t like. He watches the pleasure bloom over your features, the way your eyebrows furrow when he presses into you. He watches the way your eyes roll back when he hits that spot inside you that makes your brain shut off. Every time you try to meet his eyes, to show how badly you need him. 

He avoids it.

He never mentions it but every time you guys lock eyes for that split second, his pace stutters. Anytime you try to see him, he opts for looking down at where his cock slides into you. It’s a beautiful sight but you were fed up with not having Joel’s attention.

“Oh look at that, sweetpea” He presses you down more, trying to fit his cock deeper into you. “Look at how well she takes me” He sounds like he's in disbelief, like he hasn't seen it countless times already. “Got the sweetest pussy wrapped ‘round my cock” His words just bring you closer and closer to release. This time, however, you refuse to cum without his eyes on you.

You place your hands on both sides of his head, your thumbs caressing his cheeks while you push yourself upward until it's only his tip inside you. He hissed loudly at the sudden cold air on him. He whips his head up to look at you and your hands lock in place. Your thumbs are placed underneath his chin so that he can’t look back down.  

You hold his face to yours before slowly starting your descent, keeping eye contact. You slide a quarter way down his cock before he’s burying his face in your neck, You stop and pull him back out. There’s a blush spreading across his features and his eyes are getting hazy. “Can’t look in your eyes darlin’” He slurs out to you, his hands wrapping around your waist, drawing random shapes on your back with his fingertips.

His eyes still avoid your gaze. “I’m not moving until you look at me, Joel”. There is a small amount of venom in your voice, frustrated that Joel refuses to look at you. You deflate a bit, hands coming off of his face and wrapping around your torso instead. “Do I look-”

He doesn’t even let you finish that sentence, “You look nothing but fucking amazin’”. A pout settles on your lips at his words, his resistance making even less sense to you now. “Then why-”

“Here” He pulls his face from your neck, all pinkish and warm. He looks directly into your eyes, he looks worried, a little tense. He pulls you forward against his hips. “This what ya’ want? Hm?”

You smile softly at his puppy dog eyes before slowly dropping yourself the rest of the way down. He presses up into you deliciously as you watch all the tension drain from his face. His shoulders drop, and his eyelids flutter almost closing while he lets his head fall back. He’s able to maintain eye contact until you grind your clit against his patch of gray and black hairs, moaning his name gently. His hands shoot to your hips to pull you deeper. His eyes slip shut as he moans out. “Fuck- sweetheart, I-”.  

He cuts himself off with a rough groan when you pull your hips back up. You lean forward to kiss him softly, he whines against your mouth and tries to tug your hips back down. He whimpers out a pathetic little “please.” You gush between your legs at the sound. You crave to give him what he wants… but his eyes are closed.

“Joel?” You speak his name softly, in a daze from how perfect his cock feels inside you, and your hands come back up to his face. You run your fingers along his beard as you kiss its patches.  His eyes open slowly and he gazes at you softly. Once your eyes meet you start moving, as the pressure in your stomach becomes unbearable. You whisper out a soft “So pretty” to him. He’s breathing fast and moaning on every exhale. His eyebrows draw up and his mouth drops open. 

Joel keeps his eyes on you, they’re dark, dazed, desperate, and full of desire. Yet still cautious. His hands are frantic, they slide up your back, then back down to your thighs. They come between your bodies to play with your chest, palming your boobs firmly. Eventually, he brings his hands behind your head, slightly mimicking your placement. He pulls your head to rest against his, still fixated on your eyes.

 There’s something primal about the way he’s looking at you, he looks.. hungry. Your pussy clenches around him tightly at the thought. His eyes widen, his chest expands with a gasp, and his lip starts trembling. 

His eyes are still on yours.

 His hands start to shake behind your head, you feel his thighs tense under you. His eyes roll back into his skull as a guttural moan rips from his throat. His forehead is still pressed against yours. Your pussy spasms around his twitching cock before you’re cumming, hard. 

The shock of his orgasm, how sudden it was, the moan that left his lips, the way he was shaking for you. These things have you creaming all over him, a nice white puddle of your fluids dripping between the two of you. Joel is still moaning sweetly in your face as you cum together. He thrusts his hips up one more time with a grunt to prolong your pleasure. 

You both pant into each other's mouths, your hands still on his face and he's still holding your head close to his. Your breaths slow and you open your eyes, his are still closed. You watch him calm himself for a moment, admiring him, relishing being this close. His eyes open slowly and immediately meet yours. 

He looks apologetic.

“Joel?” Confusion laces your voice when you speak his name, he grimaces when you do. You stroke his face comfortingly, sometimes he gets emotional after sex but you’ve never seen him so remorseful.

“ ‘m sorry, sweetheart I-” He sighs and shuts his eyes tightly again. “I told you that I can’t look ‘atcha in the eyes” His sentence ends in a whine and you’re baffled as he continues to ramble, eyes closed. “I can’t handle it,” He says sadly. 

You feel bad but the statement, the sentiment, makes you clench around him. His eyes fly open with a shaking exhale, they flash a warning. You press a soft kiss to his lips that has him relaxing in your hold. 

“I didn’t mean to squeeze” You giggle at his unbelieving face. “I’m serious! You’re just so hot Joel” 

He looks at you as though you’ve lost it. His head tilts in confusion as he tries to figure out what your thought process is. “There ain't nothing attractive about a grown man cummin’ in under 10 minutes” He states gruffly, brows furrowed in slight anger.

“I think there is. Lucky me huh?” You say playfully, smiling from ear to ear as you kiss his grumpy, pouty lips. His angry mask falters. 

“Lucky you?” He asks incredulously, but you sense a bit of honesty in his tone. You press your forehead aggressively hard against his, hoping to get your point across. “I am SO lucky, Joel. You have no idea, my boyfriend is perfect in every way. He’s so perfect for me, I love him so much.”

Very small tears welled in his eyes, overcome with love from and for you. “Babydoll” He whispers against your lips before kissing again. His hands are pulling you tight against his mouth. He didn't believe anything you said but he appreciates that you say them.

You can’t help but wonder though. “Why my eyes?” Joel’s red hue makes a comeback and he looks at you with an almost shy expression.. “What is it about my eyes?” 

“It’s the way you look at me, sweetheart.” You look at him with a confused expression, waiting for him to elaborate. He huffs, exasperated. “You look at me like I’m… everything. You look at me like I hung the moon n’ stars like I’m the best thing in the world.”

You almost laugh. “Joel. That’s called love, I love you remember?” He looks frustrated with your answer. “But it’s not good honey, I’m not good enough for you to be lookin’ at me like that.”

“I think you are, Joel. I’m more unbiased than you are. I can see you for who you are, not what you’ve done. That’s why I look at you the way I do. You make me feel loved and safe, that's all I can ask for” He gets that emotional look in his eye, where he’s trying to be hard but wants to cry. You smile and pull him in for a kiss, which he returns 10 times stronger.

Afterward, you pulled him into your chest for a hug. You guys fell asleep like this, arms around each other, stolen kisses here and there. You guys talked about some things, hands rubbing naked backs. 

Joel’s cock is still nestled inside you, where it belongs.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

Edit: If you think the fic changed that's because it was literally out of order for the first day it was posted.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #smut #nsft #luvrxfics #the last of us #tlou #the last of us smut #luvrxsmut

[ghostphobic]

╼ you’re in love

abby anderson x reader

cw - fluff , mutual pining , angst if you squint , slight infidelity 

a/n - goddddd it’s been ages since i’ve written any fic, but i was up at like 2 am last night listening to music on spotify and got hit with inspiration. it’s short and sweet, but it’s the first thing i’ve written in, im not even sure how long, that i dont absolutely hate. so enjoy !

Abby Anderson was your sure thing in a world where nothing was ever certain. She was something solid and steady; an anchor in the middle of a violent ocean. You were the same thing to her. You were her best friend and she was yours, and you were sure without her you'd be lost. 

Which is why you had decided to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when you see her. It's why you had decided to ignore the tightness in your chest when you see her with Owen. You wouldn't ruin your friendship with her over feelings you weren't even sure you understood. You wouldn't ruin her relationship with Owen either, because at the end of the day Owen made her happy. Her happiness always came before yours, you made sure of that. 

But you were grateful for the little moments when it was just the two of you. Rare nights when neither of you had anywhere to be, and the two of you could just enjoy each other's company before you went to sleep.

Tonight is one of those nights. 

Abby sits on the floor in front of your bed, a book in her lap, while you gently brush through the wet strands of her hair. She hasn't turned the pages in a few minutes and you're sure her eyes are probably closed. 

"Abs?" You say softly. "Come on let's get some sleep." 

She responds with a hum, closing her book and sitting it on the ground beside her so she can crawl into the bed beside you. There's a long, comfortable, stretch of silence once she settles in. Then, "Have you ever been in love?" 

Your heart speeds up at her question, not knowing how to answer. You clear your throat before you speak, knowing that it would crack otherwise. "Where did that come from?" 

She shrugs, "I'm just curious I guess." 

It's not just curiosity. She'd seen you earlier when you were in line grabbing dinner for the two of you, laughing at something the man behind you had said. It was clear he was flirting, and to her it seemed like you enjoyed it. The sight making her so sick she had to turn away. The same way she had felt sick and looked away any time you showed romantic interest to any person in the several long years you'd known her. She chalked it up to friendly jealousy. You were just important to her, and she didn't want to share you. That's all it was. Right? It didn't matter that Owen talking to girls had never made her feel that way. You were just... different. 

You look away from her, deciding that the loose thread on your blanket is much more interesting than her face. "I don't think so. I don't know. I guess I don't really know what loving someone like that would feel like." 

It's a lie. You know it's a lie. You're pretty sure the way you feel about Abby is love. Sure, you love her as your best friend. But it goes beyond friendly love. The way you feel about her is something you're not even sure you could put into words. You just feel it. You just know, as much as you wish you didn't. 

"What do you think it feels like?" 

You shrug, "I think it depends. If you're talking about being in love, I guess I believe everyone would define it differently. To me I think it's... a warm feeling. It feels like sunlight. It feels like butterflies in your stomach. It claws at your chest. It's euphoric but terrifying. It's terrifying because one singular person holds your heart in their hands. I think it's a feeling that people would kill for. A feeling people would die for." 

There's a another stretch of silence until you will yourself to look up at her. The expression on her face is unreadable, and you think you've made her uncomfortable. 

You haven't. Not in the slightest. You don't notice the way her breathing has sped up, or the way her face is flushed. You aren't aware that what you just said has terrified her. Terrified her because she doesn't feel that way about Owen. 

She feels that way about you.

"Abby?" You say, your voice just a whisper.

Her brows furrow and you think she's mad, but then she places a hand on your cheek and leans down to press her lips to yours. 

It shocks you at first, but then you're kissing her back. It's gentle and slow and it makes your heart pound against your chest in a way that you're sure can't be healthy. In this moment you've never been more sure that you're in love with her. She's never been more sure that she's in love with you. 

She pulls back just enough to press her forehead to yours. "That's exactly what it feels like." 

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson / reader #abby tlou #abby anderson ff #abby anderson tlou #tlou 2 #the last of us #the last of us 2 #abby the last of us #abby tlou2

[hxney-lemcn]

The Fall — Connor x gn! demi! reader

summery: Connor asks a personal question which leads to reader explaining their sexual orientation. Which ends up in a confession and fluffiness.

tw: anxiety attack, mentions of being invalidated

a/n: Super self indulgent. I may be aroace but I will live in this fantasy as long as I want.

wc: 1.5k

Master List

I felt frustrated. Oh so frustrated. I typically would spend my spare time reading. No, not reading novels or books like I probably should. It was kind of embarrassing to admit, but yes. I read fanfic. It’s not a crime, okay. But recently, I couldn’t pay attention to it, my mind drifting off to someone else instead. Every time too. I would be reading about my favorite characters and then think about him instead. Which led me to stare at my phone when I had free time and come up with scenarios that would potentially befall us. Not only did it waste my phone battery, but it also makes me look dumb just staring at nothing. 

I found myself in a similar situation at the moment. The t.v. droned on, some video or show, I wasn’t completely sure. I let out a small huff, tossing my phone gently onto my stomach. I turned my gaze to Connor, who happened to already be staring at me. 

Connor invited me out to Hank's house today. Just to hang out. I accepted, deeming that I need to socialize with people more…and maybe because that meant I could hang out with Connor. Hank was off who knows where, telling Sumo to watch over us. Which led us to sit on the couch and watch something. I was curled into one side of the couch, a light blanket keeping me warm.

“May I ask a personal question?” Connor asked, head tilting to the side in that cute puppy-like manner. 

“Shoot,” I replied, putting my full attention on him. 

“Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?” He asked, curious brown eyes boring into me. 

A range of emotions washed over me. Nervousness as to the implications this could mean, but also nervousness to what I was going to have to explain. I’m demiromantic, which meant that I had to get to know a person real well before even thinking about entering a romantic relationship with them. But I never really liked anyone like that for years…until now. 

Which meant that I had little to no experience when it came to dating. And I honestly believed that it would stay that way. Which I didn’t mind, don’t get me wrong. I was content on my own with my pets…but I always wanted something more with someone. To be special to someone. Which led me to reading fanfic. 

“No,” I replied hesitantly. 

Connor’s brows furrowed, a slight frown settled on his lips, “I don’t understand.”

I frowned in confusion as well, “What don’t you get?” His stare moved back to me and it was intense, some feeling I couldn’t put my finger on was swimming through his eyes.

“How someone as amazing as you haven’t found anyone yet,” Connor stated. 

I felt my heart rate accelerate and I tried to hide how flustered that statement made me, but I also knew he could scan me and find out without me even realizing. How could he say something like that so unabashed? He thinks I’m amazing? Does that mean he admires me? God, the thought alone made me feel all warm and fuzzy. 

“It’s…hard to explain,” I shrugged, looking towards the t.v. only to notice it was shut off. Connor stayed silent, eyes pleading for me to continue. I let out a small sigh, ready to fall into the usual spiel, “I’m demiromantic. I need to get to know someone real well before even thinking about anything more than friends, and the people I start to like never really saw me as anything more than a friend so I’ve never dated or anything.”

“How long does it take for you to gain these romantic interests? If I may ask,” Connor asked, his body moving closer in curiosity. 

Once again I just shrugged, trying to not think about how surprisingly quick I found myself falling for the handsome android sitting next to me. It still took longer than what the media portrays, at least a month, but that was quick for me. 

“It depends,” I finally answered. “I haven’t been interested in many people, I could probably count the amount on one hand.” I let out a small chuckle at the thought. “Why do you ask?”

My eyes were drawn to Connor’s led as it spun yellow. It even blinked red for a second and I grew concerned. Did…was he going to invalidate me somehow? Tell me I’m just trying to label myself and that what I felt was normal? It’s happened more than I’d like to think, but I trusted Connor, so if he said anything like that I wasn’t sure what I’d do. 

“I don’t wish to make you uncomfortable,” Connor finally managed to speak out. I moved to sit more upright, scooting closer to him. I gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and he seemed to relax a bit under me, the artificial muscles moving under my hand. 

“I trust you, Connor,” I spoke up. “I know if something comes out wrong you don’t mean it in a bad way.” 

“That’s not,” Connor huffed, shaking his head. My eyes fell onto that small piece of hair on his forehead, but I ignored the urge to push it back into place. His led once again blipped red before settling on yellow. “You produce these feelings inside of me, things I haven’t felt around anyone else. Hank has made some comments…and I believe this feeling is love, or strong attraction at the very least, but with this newfound information…”

Connor’s concerned, fearful look along with all the words he just spoke put my brain in overdrive. What? He…no. No…I…do I like him like that? I mean, yes I’m attracted to him, and yes, the idea of being in a relationship with him makes my heart pound faster. 

I pulled my hand away from him, scooting away slightly. I clenched my fists against my knees, staring down at the carpet floor like it would give me all the answers. I barely recognized his honeyed voice call my name in concern. I didn’t notice how his led settled on a deep red. I was too wrapped up in my own feelings, suddenly overwhelmed by everything. 

Scared, I was scared. Isn’t this what I wanted? Someone to like me? But was I in love with the idea of that? Or did I actually like Connor? I don’t want to start a relationship with the wrong intentions. Connor doesn’t deserve to be hurt. But I really really like him. Yeah, I like him. As a person. I like spending time with him. I like talking with him, I like helping him with his still newfound deviancy. 

Oh god, what if he only liked me because I was the first person to be kind to him? No, no it’s not my place to question his feelings. It’s all new to him as well. This is new to both of us…the thought alone made me relax a bit. I took a deep breath, and then another. Would it hurt to just try out a relationship? It’s Connor after all, and if it doesn’t work I don’t think it’d end too terribly…

With one last deep breath, I opened my eyes, feeling a lot calmer than I did a few seconds ago. I felt guilty as Connor fidgeted with his quarter, led bright red, eyes searching for something in mine. 

“Sorry,” I apologized nervously. “I…just got a bit overwhelmed.” Connor looked scared, he opened his mouth, but closed it. He seemed afraid he’d say something wrong. 

“Like I said, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship,” I explained. “And…I guess I kinda thought I’d never get a chance. So you saying that you…” The word felt heavy as it sat on my tongue. “...are strongly attracted to me…I guess it kinda scared me. I’ve never dealt with this before, and didn’t think I’d have to. Not that it’s bad or anything! Because I like you too, I’m just…scared.”

Connors led spun yellow, processing what I had just said. Finally it settled on a serene blue, his face morphed from fear, to relief, to settling on pure joy.

“I also don’t have experience in this field,” Connor replied. “I was built with a social programme, but it didn’t include anything to do with romantic human relations. I would like to learn with you.” 

Heat simmered through me, heart beating faster and I felt inexplicably happy. So happy, I had no idea what to do with this newfound energy bursting through me. I stared at Connor, his cute freckles, deep brown eyes, perfect eyebrows, full lips, to that damned piece of hair still out of place. It was hard to believe someone who looked so perfect would want to be with me. 

Trying to calm myself from doing something I’d regret, I lifted my hand up and brushed that piece of hair up and into place. Connor closed his eyes, tilting his head closer to my hand. I couldn’t help but marvel at how soft his hair felt. 

Continuing to brush his hair gently, I finally replied, “I wouldn’t want to learn with anyone else.”

Connor opened his eyes, his smile seeming to split at the seams. My heartrate spiked once more as I finally could put a word to the look in his eyes when he looked at me. Love.

#dbh connor x reader #connor dbh x reader #dbh x reader #dbh #detroit become human #rk800 x reader #rk800 #detroit become human x reader #x reader #dbh connor #connor dbh

[trashlie]

Sowing the Seeds, Reaping Stalkyoo

It’s no secret that everything about the state of ILY since the Christmas party has been my absolute catnip, everything I’ve waited for and wanted to see. We’ve had delicious flashbacks and peeks into the past, we’ve been indulged with Nol and Kousuke going head to head, the reveals of how Kousuke has been manipulated and drugged, and yes, Nol’s return into his friend’s lives. Quimchee has been delivering something that I didn’t anticipate we’d get for a long time yet - I thought so much of Nol and Shinae’s relationship was being set up for the future, that it wouldn’t take root until then, and yet. 

And yet. 

Ages ago I wrote about the foundations of Stalkyoo, how so much of the framework for their potential feelings and relationship had been carefully laid for feelings to begin to sprout and bloom, anticipating that it would not be until after Nol returns from prison, maybe even until after the timeskip, that those feelings would show themselves. What a fool I was! How could I anticipate that we’d be seeing them so soon, like this?! 

Someone on reddit asked at what point did Stalkyoo begin - the feelings, us shipping, when it began to feel real and possible, and finally I was able to put the words together, to really begin this post that I’ve been dying to make. (This post is an expansion of my response on reddit, hehe) 

I used to waffle a lot on this thought, because if you reread ILY without a romantic lens, there's a lot of things that CAN come across very platonically - but the key is that context always matters, right? To me, a lot of the build up for Stalkyoo has been simply building a foundation so that their own feelings can develop. There's a difference between having feelings and being drawn to each other, but Nol and Shinae HAVE been drawn to each other from the start. While Shinae initially pushes back on Nol's attempt at friendship, by the time they're at the arcade, I think we start seeing the basis of Shinae reciprocating Nol's friendship. Clearly she's only playing along because she wants to get a free meal out of it, but something about Nol and Shinae that I find really interesting is that it really WAS effortless from the beginning! It's just that Shinae has so much trauma about friendships - not only that Alyssa betrayed her and played hot and cold, but that she can't trust her friendship with Maya and Rika is real and she is LITERALLY only there because she knows Maya is scheming. Yet, at the masquerade and the morning after, we see how easy Shinae falls into a rhythm with Nol - but once she catches herself she back pedals.

Something I think we need to clear before we dig into this is the point in which Nol went from trying to play cupid for Dieter to pursuing Shinae's friendship for himself. I don't think even he was totally aware of it, but when they were at the mall, I think that was a slow changing point for Nol. He could tell that he wasn't going to really be able to play cupid for Dieter (but it didn't stop him from trying) but I think by this point he saw Shinae's facade fully, and how similar it was to his. (I mean, I think he'd already seen this, but this was when it really resonated with him.)

Stalkyoo is really well written in which you can't tell at what point the characters themselves start to have feelings, because that's just the nature of feelings. We can't always pinpoint when we go from feeling friend-ish about someone to when we develop feelings, especially in the case of Nol and Shinae who have SO MUCH ELSE going on that feelings are the furthest thing from their minds. Instead, we see those building blocks, the foundations, the things that LEAD those feelings to grow from platonic to feeling something besides just friendship. It's all the little things! For Shinae, it's that someone was so determinedly persistent, something she hadn't really gotten from her other friends. But more than that, it was the way that Nol saw through her. It was the way Yeonggi evoked the kind of friend she wanted to be but was too afraid to be. It was the safety and security he provided her. 

For Nol, it was the way she always saw him, always picked up on those little details, always took concern. That night she ran into him after work, when she got worried he'd sat outside all evening because she was too harsh, she told herself not to care and yet... she couldn't. She had just drawn these boundaries, but she still had concern for him. Nol isn't used to that. I'm not saying this to shame Soushi and Dieter in any way, but we don't really see them reach out to him, and I think Dieter acknowledged this after Yujing drove away with Rand and unconscious Nol. Nol had just seen the eviction notice in her room, and yet she still buys him ointment and medicine out of worry for him with what little money she has. She took notice of his scuffed knuckles, of his cat scratches healing, asks how he’s handling things after seeing what they’re saying on the media. At the hospital she calls him out on that façade, expressing how much awful it makes her feel so how can he not? 

We get to see these little details culminate, and how that fosters the development of feelings. How can Shinae not be so drawn to this person who has helped her no matter the inconvenience it is to him, who sees through her and calls her out on her bullshit, who took care of her when she was so very vulnerable at the Kim formal? How can Nol not be so drawn to this person who sees him when others make him feel invisible, who makes him feel worthy of her concern and thoughts when so many others have made him feel like he doesn't matter?

It's the way Shinae disarms him and he finds himself unable to lie, revealing a little bit of the real him, admitting a tiny hint of what's going on that he isn't revealing. It's the way he literally inspires her to be a better friend, and to return the favor.

As a reader, the Kim formal and the following hospital scene really sell the plausibility of them through the parallels. We are shown that this early in their friendship, Nol is able to not only comfort Shinae in ways that reach her, but to anticipate her needs (intercepting her coat after Kousuke sends it away). It's not done to say that Kousuke is not a match for her as much as to illuminate why Nol is, to build out that foundation. During a harrowing night when Shinae is completely out of her element and, frankly, terrified, Nol is able to reach her, able to comfort her, and he provides that sense of protection, and in kind, it softens Shinae even more towards him, because now she can see just what a solid friend Nol is, to really take stock of the things he does for her. It also shows us the ways Shinae meets HIS needs in contrast to Alyssa. This is especially important because part of what really fosters Nol's eventual feelings for Shinae is that she sees him, that she feels concern for him, when everyone around him, including the person he's supposed to call his girlfriend, take him for granted.

Nol struggles SO MUCH with self worth and feeling that he matters, that he is anything but a burden (much like Shinae) but also he struggles with feeling that he even deserves this. But then Shinae comes in and gives him a taste of that, and now he can't help it. He opens up, little by little. Not a lot, but he lets her in, tiny bit by bit. She starts to matter. And we can see in episodes like 73, when Nol calls Shinae and they share the parallel pillow hugging phone call, 93 when he admits he can't stop himself from caring and she replaces his earbuds in his ear, 117 and 118 with the chickie nuggie hand holding and the shared earbuds just how Shinae became this person who brings Nol comfort, who has a morphine-effect on him. She becomes a safe space for him. Her comfort towards him fosters that feeling of seeking comfort in her.

At the end of the day, it ultimately is, I think, that they see each other - that they really see each other. Can Shinae see through Nol's facade? Not really - he still has so much that he's yet hidden away. But in a world when he's treated like he's invisible, when others don't reach out, when everyone takes takes takes without giving (and again I'm not faulting people because that's how Nol built these friendships; they weren't supposed to be real, until they accidentally were) she sees him and makes him feel like he matters. And likewise, he inspires her to be a better friend, to take chances with her heart. Ultimately she wouldn't be where she is without him, because while Dieter has also had a substantial role in how Shinae has grown, if not for Nol, she never even could have built that friendship with Dieter.

But also, to bring up my earlier point about that effortlessness, that chemistry has always existed between Nol and Shinae, and once she stopped being so suspicious of him and wary, once he brought her that comfort and security at the formal, we were able to see it more, and how they act on it. I never shut up about how Nol is unable to resist Shinae and it's TRUE. All the times that he tries to avoid her often end with him giving in, turning towards her, revealing something. And likewise she is SO drawn to him that when he starts to pull away, she starts to subconsciously act on that and chase after him, pull him back in. I think there's also something to be said about all the very flirty comments Nol makes towards her that he probably isn't even aware are very flirty - but she is picking up on it. It's that, yes, that attraction is there. Not that I think finding someone is handsome = attraction, but the way she's so embarrassed to voice it feels weighted. Also happening at the formal was that moment where Nol makes Shinae laugh and his eye goes wide - even though I don't think he identified it then, it was a significant moment, probably one that really fostered that attraction, that feeling of how pretty her smile is, ESPECIALLY as someone who had her thick thick walls and he hadn't seen her like that.

Honestly, the entirety of the Kim formal arc really sells the concept of Stalkyoo, despite Nol attending “with” his girlfriend. The parallels in their individual relationships with other significant people show just how compatible they are - Nol banking on a fan taking notice of famous girlfriend Alyssa to give Shinae an escape, that moment when Nol is sent away and Shinae calls out to him and he reaches out before the door closes and he loses the opportunity. It’s that tender moment of Nol doing her make up for her, helping her don her armor in order to blend in. It’s the way she goes straight to Nol after her uncomfortable dance with Kousuke, checking on him because she can tell something is off. They just NOTICE! They GET each other! 

It’s that moment at the bottom of the pool when Nol feels the opportunity to escape, to give in, to stay at the bottom of the pool because there is nothing up there for him - and then there is Shinae, unconscious. It’s Nol donning that uncomfortable mask to bring her to the surface, it’s him denying his ideation because maybe there is, in fact, something for him up there. It’s that Nol is still here because of Shinae. 

How can she not be so significant to him? How could he fight the development of those feelings when she literally is the reason he is still alive? 

IT'S JUST. IT'S ALL OF THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH there's not really one point so much as all along the bricks in the foundation are being laid, the seeds are sown. The structure is going up, the seeds are sprouting. We see the results of that foundation as it fosters these feelings, as it takes these small but significant things and turns them into something grander, until one day Nol is taking comfort on her shoulder, feeling the most at peace he has in a long time, until one day Shinae is crying in the rain chasing after him in absolute desperate fear to not lose him to not lose this. There isn't one moment but, instead, a series of so many moments that build and grow and layer upon each other until one day they are dancing around feelings they weren't aware of until now.

And it's beautiful sobs.

And now that those seeds have sprouted, those feelings have been fostered, they make themselves known. It’s not only Yeonggi that Shinae is drawn to. Yes, that was initially the version of him she knew, who fostered those feelings, but even when he returns to her as Nol - so intense, so unlike Yeonggi - we see the attraction come forth. Rather than Yeonggi, it’s Nol who embodies those aspects of Rand that Shinae finds so attractive - the assertiveness, the intensity - and when Nol stands before her this way, she doesn’t balk. She doesn’t back away. In fact, it’s only when he makes this version of himself known that we start to see her getting flustered, that her heart starts pounding. It’s that intense gaze that she can’t hold, that causes her cheeks to actually flush. 

He tells her that his relationship with Alyssa is a shame, that she doesn’t mean anything to him, and it’s like all the boundaries have fallen away. The things she used to call him out on have fallen wayside - she offers him a dance. Though she’s always known that Nol and Kousuke don’t get along, she finally gets a glimpse at how bad it is, how much bad blood is between them. 

It’s the way she becomes a grounding rod who interrupts his panic, his anger, who brings him a moment of calm. 

In nearly losing him that night, Shinae’s feelings wake up even stronger than ever. She’s already nearly lost him, to nearly lose him this way, in a way that can never be undone... It’s understandable, why she’s keeping vigil. 

It’s both Nol and Shinae hating hospitals, finding them to be so uncomfortable, places they don’t want to stay in, but still standing by - Nol outside her door at Hirahara Memorial of all places, Shinae at his bedside waiting waiting waiting. It’s being in a place full of such horrible memories but finding refuge and comfort in each other. As precious at 219 is for Nol’s birthday party, for the flirtations, for the exchanged gazes - the moment Nol wakes up and his panic is quelled when he finds her dozing on the side of his bed is SO important to me. Those moments they share together before anyone else finds out he’s awake feels like the most real they’ve been with each other - no fronts, no masks. It’s them sitting in the place they’d rather never be again, comfortable because of each others’ presence, because of all those experiences before that have cultivated the ability to find comfort in each other. 

Security with each other. 

The foundation was laid out so beautifully. The seeds were sown and now we watch them sprout, hoping we’ll get a chance to see what comes of them, what grows in this space fostered by them. 

God I love them so much sobs 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #i will never be able to top this post lmao this is it #this is my magnum opus or whatever #this is the best i'll ever be able to write about them to yell about them to verbalize about them #i just LOVE to look at the foundation and see how they've bloomed how they're blossoming #I LOVE looking back and realizing all these little building blocks that got us here #there's no one moment because it was so organic something that just grows and grows until one day you realize it's there #there was never one moment because it's a series of moments a culmination of experiences #it was the environment fostering them #THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND TO EACH OTHER #will Shinae ever get to know? what brought Nol back to the surface at the Kim formal? #will she ever know just how important she is to him? #she thinks she's so easy to throw away but in reality it's that it's so hard to be her friend without wanting more #BECAUSE of how important she is #because as much as he's helped shape her #helped her grow and become an even better version of herself #she has affected him too #she has changed him too #SOBS I LOVE THEM SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH

[teaberrii]

Chapter 3: Hidden Motives

You've been Cupid for as long as you can remember. You've brought countless soulmates together, yet you've never found love.

When you're assigned to bring two childhood friends back together, it should be simple until you unexpectedly catch feelings for the mysterious and cold Ph.D. student, Dan Heng, the man with a soulmate… the man with answers to your past.

Dan Heng/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

“...So, who's stalking who this time?” you ask.

Dan Heng holds your gaze. "Considering I was here first, I'd say you."

You scoff with a slight smile. "A bold accusation, but I'm not the one showing up unannounced and uninvited at other people's doors."

With a ghost of a smile, he hands you a small box of furniture pads. "...That's because someone isn't a very good neighbour." You reluctantly take it from him just as he slides a hand into his pocket. Then, he glances at Pom. It’s not his business, but his curiosity still gets the best of him. “Do you two live together?”

“Well, someone has to protect her from all the bad people!”

You turn and give Pom a deadpan look. “I know what you’re thinking,” you say, turning to Dan Heng. “We don’t have a relationship like that. Pom and I are just friends who are new to the city.”

“Do you think you can show us around sometime?” Pom asks.

You give Pom a cautious glance just as Dan Heng says, “...There’s a festival next week.” You turn back and see him looking at you. “I could take you… if you want.”

Dan Heng has his own motives. He wants to know who you really are. You know things you shouldn’t. That sparkle in your eyes. Something is different about you, and he wants answers.

"Are you serious?”

"...Should I be offended by that comment?"

You obviously didn't mean it in a sarcastic way, but you laugh anyways, much to Dan Heng's dismay. "After that encounter in the library, I thought you’d want to stay away, honestly."

"Well, I'm serious." Dan Heng holds your stare, and your heart doesn't do a flip-flop but a cartwheel that takes you off guard. "Does my answer still make you think I want to stay away?"

"I know you have your motives," you say. "...But even so, I'll take you up on your offer."

He takes out his phone. "Then, I guess you agree to give me your number."

Pom has to cover his growing smile with a hand. “How long has it been since a guy asked you your number, Cupid?”

“...Cupid?”

You immediately glare at Pom, who quickly says, “It’s just a nickname. That’s what everyone calls her.”

Dan Heng looks at you, and you say, “It’s true.”

Then, he smirks slightly. “...I doubt it’s because of your appearance.”

You give him a deadpan look. “Keep guessing.”

After you and Dan Heng exchange numbers, he says, "You're not giving me much to go off of."

"...Am I really that interesting for you to be this curious?" 

Yes. 

However, Dan Heng doesn't answer. Instead, he says, "...I'll see you around."

After closing the door, you turn around and see Pom looking at you with a smile. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I know we’re supposed to be working and all, but this is kind of exciting! How long has it been since someone asked you on a date?”

“It’s not a date. He's taking us"—you gesture to you and Pom—"to the festival. And just so you know, I’ve been asked out plenty of times!”

Pom rolls his eyes. “Nanook doesn’t count.” He leans forward. “If it’s not a date, then why did he ask for your number and not mine?”

“That's...”

"It's time for the matchmaker to meet her match!"

“I know what he’s after, Pom," you deadpan, "and I can assure you it’s anything but romantic."

“...But it doesn't mean you can't have a little fun.”

“Nanook is rubbing off on you."

Pom makes a disgusted face and throws a pillow at you. "Take that back!"

You catch it easily. "Then stop getting distracted!"

◆◆◆

When Dan Heng gets back to his suite, Gepard comes out of the shower with a towel draped around his neck.

“I was getting worried they kidnapped you,” he says. “Everything okay? You were up there for a while.”

"We have a new neighbour upstairs."

"Who?"

"...Take a wild guess."

The look in Dan Heng’s eyes confirms Gepard’s suspicions. After Dan Heng tells his roommate about you and Pom, Gepard smiles. “So, you volunteered to take them to the festival next week?”

“I have my motives.”

“Right. You want to know how she knows about your research and that... sparkle. You're more curious than I thought.”

“Aren’t you?”

Gepard walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge. “Not as much as you.”

“...Liar.”

Gepard takes out a drink and tosses one to Dan Heng who catches it with ease. “So, why didn’t you ask for Pom’s number?”

“...Why should I when I have hers?”

Gepard laughs. “See? That’s a sign of interest, Dan Heng.”

Dan Heng sighs and walks into his room. He's curious. That's it. Maybe you are a little pretty, but that's it. He just wants answers. Nothing else. When his phone goes off, he suddenly thinks of you but quickly shakes the thought away when he sees that it’s his professor.

“I apologize for calling you so late, but I have good news. Would you be able to come to the Xianzhou Hospital tomorrow morning? They’ve recently admitted a patient infected with The Withering." 

So, the time has come again.

"You'll be able to get some valuable data for your research," his professor finishes.

"I'll be there."

As soon as Dan Heng ends the call, Gepard peeks into his room and says, “Hey, Lover Boy, are you"—his voice turns serious—“what’s wrong?”

"...Someone's been infected."

After telling Gepard about the conversation, his roommate says, "Just be careful. I know you already know this… but it’s not your duty to save this person. It’s for your research.”

But Dan Heng knows it’s easier said than done, especially after what happened with his mother.

◆◆◆

Dan Heng is up earlier than usual, and he’s careful not to wake Gepard as he leaves the apartment. The sun is shining in full force and the clouds are few and far between. Perhaps this means it'll be a good day... in terms of getting valuable information for his research. 

When he arrives at the hospital, he sees his professor at the entrance. They exchange pleasantries before walking inside and heading to one of the upper floors of the hospital. 

“This case hasn’t been made public,” his professor says, stepping out of the elevator. “It was at the request of the patient.”

“How did you know about it?”

“I know the doctor who’s treating him. As you know, our university is the only one still relatively involved in researching The Withering. So, he reached out to me.”

The professor slides open the door of a room at the end of the hall. A doctor looks up from a stack of papers and takes off his glasses.

“You must be Dan Heng." The doctor gestures to them to take a seat.

Dan Heng is the first one to do so. His professor follows after closing the door.

“Is this patient aware of our involvement?” Dan Heng asks.

The doctor nods. “...He told me he has friends studying there. He’s in his very early stages.”

“...How did he find out?”

“He was having moments when he couldn't move, but the pigment on his skin was determining factor. And, after running a few tests, he had the same symptoms as the last patient"—his eyes and voice turn sympathetic—"who I knew was your mother."

Dan Heng slightly looks down and remains silent.

“I’ll take you to meet him.”

Soon, Dan Heng is ushered to another room. It's quiet and spacious, but a little dark. The only source of light is the sunlight spilling through the half-opened blinds on a window. Dan Heng follows the doctor to a bed hidden behind curtains. Once the doctor slides them aside, Dan Heng's eyes widen. His mind goes blank. His breath gets caught in his throat. And his heart drops to his stomach. 

What is Caelus doing here?

“It’s been a while, Dan Heng.”

Caelus doesn't look as shocked. It's as if he's expecting to see his friend.

Dan Heng swiftly moves to the bedside. “...You—”

"I know you must be surprised and confused," Caelus interrupts quietly.

That's putting it mildly.

"I haven't told anyone about this. So... I hope you'll keep my secret."

“...And Stelle?”

Caelus shakes his head. “She doesn’t know either.” Dan Heng’s gaze hardens. “I know what you want to say… but I intend on keeping this from her.”

While Dan Heng doesn’t agree, that’s not what they should be discussing right now.

“When did it start happening?” Dan Heng asks, his voice steady in contrast to the emotional storm raging inside.

“...I can’t pinpoint a specific time," Caelus says with a hint of frustration. "The first time I noticed it was when I kept dropping my pen during class.”

Dan Heng clenches his fists. The last person Dan Heng expected to see is his childhood friend and Stelle’s twin brother on this bed. It’s as if this disease has something against him. But this time, he'll do things differently. This time... he won't run away.

◆◆◆

After going through multiple articles about The Withering while waiting for the train, you settle on one of the few published papers you can find. At least it won't be littered with false information. While you don't understand a lot of the technical details, you got some valuable information about it.

First, The Withering is a disease that shows as a darkened pigment on your skin. It slowly paralyzes you and starts from anywhere. The legs. The arms. The brain. Depending on where it starts can affect how long you have left. 

Second, it's not clear what the causes are, but it's not transmissible.

Third, an infected appears once every ten years. 

“Morning.”

You turn to your right and see Gepard. “Morning,” you say, sliding your phone inside your pocket. “...Dan Heng isn’t with you?”

“He went to the hospital this morning.”

“The hospital?”

“He’s fine,” Gepard says with a slight smile. “It’s… for his research, which I want to ask." He looks you in the eyes. "How do you know about it?"

The loud sound of a bell rings throughout the platform, signalling the incoming train.

“If I answer that question, will you answer one of mine?”

"Sure."

The train slowly comes to a stop, and the doors slide open. You and Gepard step inside and quickly move to a comfortable spot.

You start weighing your options. With one lie comes another, but is there a point to lying? Not one you can see. So, you settle on telling the truth. It's up to them to ask the questions.

“I saw it,” you say.

“You saw his research?”

“No. I saw his desire to find a cure."

“Am I supposed to take that as a real answer?”

You meet his gaze. “Does it look like I’m joking?”

The bell sounds again, and the doors close. Soon, the train slowly starts moving and enters a tunnel.

"Are you going to keep your end of the deal?” you ask, grabbing one of the handrails to steady yourself.

“...Shoot.”

"Why is Dan Heng being so secretive about his research?"

“Research is like trade secrets," Gepard says. "But in terms of The Withering, it's something no one really knows about. His professor probably didn't want Dan Heng to garner interest and then fail to get results." 

"I... hope it's not the case, but why does it sound like he's questioning his ability?"

"There are a lot of theories about The Withering. Some people believe someone created it and used it to silence people.”

You raise a brow. “Sounds like something out of a novel. Where did this theory come from?"

"A professor and a student were the first to research The Withering. But not long after they started, they got into separate but fatal accidents. There was no evidence to say that it was because of their research, but that didn't stop some people from saying the disease is cursed."

"Sounds like a horror story," you say quietly.

"Then, there are others saying that since it only affects one person every ten years, why keep investing?"

A small pause.

"Have you ever tried talking Dan Heng out of it?"

Gepard smiles slightly. "Don't tell him I told you, but... he's stubborn. When he wants something, he'll figure out a way to get it. This disease personally affected him, so I know there was no way he would back out no matter what anyone else says."

You look out the window in front of you. You have your suspicions about why Dan Heng is trying so hard. The Withering must’ve affected a loved one.

"By the way, Dan Heng said you and Pom live together."

“That’s right.”

“Where are you two originally from?”

“...A place no one knows about.”

“You really like to give mysterious answers, don’t you?” Then, a small chuckle. “Well, you’re keeping Dan Heng invested. He said he’s going to take you and Pom to the festival, didn’t he?”

“...Yeah.”

Gepard smiles. “He doesn’t do that. At least not for people he doesn’t know very well yet.”

You give Gepard a deadpan look. “You’re reminding me of Pom.”

The train rolls to a stop at the university station, and you and Gepard walk out.

"Sorry," Gepard says with a smile. "I've been encouraging him to get back out there, but his nose is always buried in books or kendo."

Kendo? That's new.

"...Well, it's not possible," you mutter.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

Before you can say anything else, you hear a loud, female voice call Gepard. A woman with light pink hair and pink and blue eyes quickly walks up. 

“You’re early today, March.”

The woman puts a hand on her hip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Then, she looks at you again just as Gepard says, “This is Dan Heng’s friend.”

“Dan Heng’s friend?” March asks. “Since when does that man have time to make new friends?”

That almost gets a chuckle out of you, but you introduce yourself with your name.

“I’m March!” the woman says. “Been friends with Gepard and Dan Heng for ages.”

“Yes. Perhaps a little too long."

March frowns. “S’cuse me? Did you say something, Gepard?”

“Nothing, dear March.”

As you walk together toward campus, she asks, “So, how did you and Dan Heng meet?”

“It’s… kind of a long story,” you say.

“But now we’re neighbours,” Gepard says. “She and her friend, Pom, lives on the floor above us.”

March smiles. "You don't say?"

“That reminds me,” you say, looking at Gepard. “Just curious… wouldn’t it be more convenient to live on campus?”

“That place actually belongs to Dan Heng,” Gepard says. “He and his father bought it for him when he started his Ph.D. studies.”

You remember Himeko telling you that Dan Heng’s family had financial difficulties. Maybe things improved.

March nudges Gepard. “Dan Heng’s nice enough to let this guy stay there to save some money.”

“...Which I’m always grateful for."

March smiles and looks at her watch. “Where is Dan Heng, anyway?”

“At the hospital,” Gepard says.

"What?"

“He’s fine," Gepard quickly adds. "It’s something he has to do for school.”

“...Ah, okay.”

When March isn’t looking, Gepard glances at you and subtly shakes his head. You assume this means March doesn’t know about Dan Heng’s research. You nod back, hoping that Gepard understands that you won't be spilling the beans.

◆◆◆

Pom can't wait to tell you that he found the venue for Stelle's fanmeet all by himself. It's only been a day, but he's getting the hang of getting around this ridiculously big city. While you're at school, Pom did some digging and discovered Stelle is having a fan meet somewhere in the city. Tickets are already sold out, but maybe he'll get lucky. Or… he'll think of a way to sneak in there. Regardless, it's better than sitting at home doing nothing.

Pom heads to the back of the venue and happen to see a man and a woman with headphones talking amongst themselves.

“...It’s not a big issue, but it would be nice if we had an extra person.”

The woman takes a drag of her cigarette and sighs. “We’ll make do with what we have.” That’s when she sees Pom looking in their direction. “Only authorized personnel are allowed back here.”

“...Oh, I, uh, I’m not a fan. But I did overhear you needed someone for something.”

“We’ve heard that excuse before.” The woman waves her hand dismissively. “Go wait your turn in line.”

Then, they left, and Pom sighs. Maybe getting in that way would've been too easy. As he heads back to the front, he suddenly hears a loud shout and then a scream. It doesn't take long for Pom to see two men fighting each other on the crosswalk.

“Hey, cut it out!” A man in security uniform tries to stop the men but one of them knocks him back.

“What’s going on?” Pom hears someone ask.

“No idea. But I think someone cut in line.”

One man knocks the other to the ground. He's about to kick him when Pom steps in and stops him with his foot.

“No need for violence,” Pom says. “Let’s talk this out civilly.”

“This is none of your business!”

The man takes a swing at Pom, who dodges it with ease. Then, with one controlled kick to the gut, the man falls but remains conscious.

Pom sighs softly. “Humans and their short tempers.” Then, he notices everyone staring at him, including the man on the ground. Pom awkwardly clears his throat. “Um, are you all right?”

“What’s going on over here?” The crowd makes way for a man wearing a security guard uniform. After taking in the situation, he looks at Pom. “Were you responsible for this?”

“Me? Responsible for this mess?” Pom asks incredulously. “No! I—”

“Could you come with me?”

“But—”

“You’re not in trouble."

So, Pom reluctantly leaves the scene as some onlookers whisper amongst themselves. Eventually, Pom follows the man into the venue and past a few staff members.

“Um… What am I doing here exactly?” Pom asks.

The man turns around. “We’re a little short on security today. Do you mind filling in? We’ll compensate.”

Pom blinks once. Twice. “Me?”

The man sighs. “You’re probably here for the event, but—”

“No, I’ll do it! I wasn’t exactly here for the event."

“Is everything okay over here?”

Pom looks past the bigger man and sees more staff members. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” the man says. He nods at Pom. “I found someone who can fill in.”

One of the members looks Pom up and down. “Um… are you—”

“He’s stronger than he looks.” The man turns to Pom. “There’s a room at the end of this hallway. You’ll find a uniform like the one I’m wearing in a closet. Get changed and meet me in the main hall just past that door.” He points to a door on the second floor. “We’ll talk there. Got it?”

“Y-yes, sir!”

The man takes out his phone and snaps a photo of Pom. “Don’t think of trying anything funny.”

"Yes, sir!"

Then, Pom hurries to the room for his uniform.

◆◆◆

Despite not having seen or heard from Dan Heng for the entire day, you still consider it productive. You’d spent most of your free time with March, who gave you some useful information about the city and about herself. She’s still good friends with Stelle, who you learn has a twin brother, Caelus. They still keep in touch, but it’s just recently that Caelus told them that he was studying abroad.

“He didn’t say where…” March says, fiddling with the straw in her drink. Both of you are on break, so you decided to get drinks at the newly opened shop in one of the campus buildings. “Kind of unlike him but… yeah.”

“Did you ask Stelle?”

“I haven’t talked to her these days. She’s been quite busy.” March sips her drink. “I’m not too worried, though. Caelus knows how to take care of himself.” She looks at her watch. “I should get going. Duty calls!”

You nod. “See you around.”

March stands. “You don’t have classes for the rest of the day, right? Go check out the bar I told you about." She smiles. "Trust me. You will not be disappointed.”

And then she’s off.

You’re also about to leave when your phone goes off. You take it out and see that it’s Pom.

“You will not believe what happened to me today,” he says as soon as you pick up.

You stand and scoot in your chair. “What?”

“I talked to Stelle today!”

“Now, this is newsworthy. Details!”

You’re walking towards the train station as you listen to Pom get you up to speed on how he got hired as security personnel at Stelle’s fanmeet. But that’s not all.

“After the event, I managed to talk to her, and she’s like… the nicest person. Ever.”

“Sounds like you’re becoming a fan.”

“I told her I knew Gepard and Dan Heng, and she even suggested we all go for lunch one day.”

You almost gasp. “Damn, Pom.”

“I deserve a raise, Cupid.”

“I promise to upgrade your cheap carrots to quality ones next time.”

“Hilarious,” Pom deadpans. “But…”

The rest of Pom’s words fall on deaf ears when you see Dan Heng walking towards you. But unlike his usual poker face, he looks weary. There's a distant look in his eyes that's a little worrisome. He looks up, and there’s a brief moment of surprise when he sees you. When he stops in front of you, you don’t think he’ll appreciate any sarcastic remarks.

“...Cupid?” Pom asks. “Are you listening? Hellooo?”

“...Are you okay?” you ask.

The question is meant for Dan Heng, but it’s Pom who asks, “Me? Why do you ask?”

Then, Dan Heng looks you in the eyes and responds to your question with a question.

“...Do you want to go for a drink?”

Chapter 4

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @seirenspinel @lxry-chxn @tanspostsblog @nqctre @theprinceofkhaos

#dan heng #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #dan heng x y/n #dan heng fluff #honkai star rail dan heng

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

what happened between us?

A/N: request from the amazing @fleurfairie: bub, i’m taking your word for it, so here’s a request: steve harrington and his best friend, who have known each other for just like a year or two but are overwhelmingly close, are secretly in love with each other. not really a secret to everyone else, though. until one day steve decides he’s going to take a chance! because he just loves her so much and she’s worth it and he’d never forgive himself if he just lets her go— steve starts flirting with her, spoiling her rotten, being more clingy and affectionate than they already were, he treats her like a princess already but now he’s really laying it on thick. he worships her. he’s trying to show her, to prove to her, that he can treat her like she deserves and love her like she deserves. however, his girl is shy! she’s shy and inexperienced and self-conscious, the fact she’s never had any romantic validation before makes it so her mind can’t accept or realize that someone might be interested in her :( so when she finds herself having to hold back from touching and kissing and loving her best friend? she panics and tries to distance herself because her mind has convinced her that he wouldn’t want that, that it wouldn’t be reciprocated :( but oh no no, her stevie just won’t let that happen! so after a little bit of her trying to avoid him and ignore him, he seeks her out and they have one of those conversations where he’s asking her if she wants him out of her life but she doesn’t so she can’t say it and so steve slowly starts walking towards her and kind of cornering her against a counter of something and asking what happened and she accidentally lets it slip something like “you’ve been treating me so sweetly and people keep thinking we’re together and i can’t stop thinking about kissing you but i know you don’t want that so i thought—“ and steve cuts her off and he starts listing the things he’s been doing for her and to win her over and then tells her that yes, he’s been trying to show her that he wants her, forever if she lets him, and he’s just standing closer and closer and she shakes her head like “no that can’t be you don’t mean that” but then he tells her he’s sure of it, that he wants to fucking marry her already and she kisses him. finally. her first kiss with the only person she’d ever consider kissing :( and then as soon as they pull away she blurts out that she loves him and he starts being silly and goofy like “i wanted to say it first!” and whatever cute fluffy thing you can think of. 😌😌😌 too much? but yeah, i’ve been thinking about this for a long time, so… but pls ignore it if you don’t want to write it, no hard feelings <3

Warnings: Steve Harrington x reader, love confession, kissing, idk oblivious idiots I guess?

Word count: 738

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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“Steve! What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” he announced in a tone that almost made it sound like a threat. Quickly slipping under your arm, he entered the house before you have a chance to stop him. 

“No, really, come right in,” you mumbled sarcastically, closing the door behind him. 

“Please just be honest with me here,” he pleaded as you walked back into the kitchen to down the rest of your abandoned water, “do you still wanna be friends? Because if you don’t, that’s fine, I can be out of your hair in no time.”

Tipping the glass, you stopped the flow so that you didn’t accidentally waterboard yourself. You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t say anything, just stand there and slowly wipe away the droplet that was trickling down from the corner of your lips.

Melting back against the sink, opposite where you were standing, Steve let out a heavy sigh and stared at you so intensely that you almost feared that he could see right through you, “what happened between us?”

Setting the empty glass down, you averted your gaze and answered timidly, “you’ve just been doing all these really nice things” you saw his feet begin to slowly float towards you, “and I think they might have confused some other people into thinking that we’re like together or whatever” tilting your head back, you stared up at the ceiling and nervously let slip, “and maybe it confused me a bit as well because I really can’t stop thinking about you, about kissing you, even though I know that you don’t wanna do that with me, you don’t feel that way-“

Interrupting your tense rambling, he deliberately began listing off, “driving you home from school even though you live on the other side of town? Speaking up every day and actually telling you how amazing I think you look instead of just thinking it? That time we all went to the movies, and I held your hand? The countless notes I left in your locker on the day of your history presentation because I knew just how nervous you were?” feeling his hands grab onto the counter behind you, caging you in, you finally met his intense gaze, “what did you think all that stuff was if not me trying to tell you-, to show you that I want you?”

“No…” you slowly shook your head, “that-, no, you don’t mean that.”

Catching your cheek in his palm, he professed, “Y/n, I would marry you right here and now if I could, because that’s how much I mean it.” All of the air escaped your body, and you honestly thought you might pass out, if not from his overwhelming words, then just the way his chocolate eyes seemed to glimmer and shine under the soft kitchen light. “I want forever with you. I already know that. I don’t need anything else to be sure of that-”

Shutting off your brain, you simply leaned in the last remaining inches and kissed him, like it was the only thing that could have the power to bring you back down to earth. Clearly taking him by surprise, it took him a few seconds to register, but then he breathed out a warm sigh and you felt his other hand find purchase on your waist.

As soon as your lips stopped touching his, you blurted out, unable to stop yourself, “I love you.”

“Seriously?” a laugh bubbled out of him, and he brushed his thumb over your cheek, “I wanted to say that first! Do you know how long I’ve had to come up with the perfect way to tell you? Very, very long. And then you just cut me off.”

Giggling profusely, “sorry, I promise I won’t just kiss you unannounced ever again.”

“No, no, no,” he beamed, “you should always kiss me, with warning, without, please just kiss me.”

Pressing your lips against his once more certainly was an effective way of dying down the bustling laughter.

Resting his forehead against yours, he blurted out, “I love you.” Reeling back, his eyes went wide, “ah, shit… that was not how I planned it, you just kinda made my mind melt and it just flowed right out.” Ignoring your glowing smile, he tried, “tell you what, just pretend that I didn’t say anything so that I can do it the way I had planned, okay?”

© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #lea’s writing #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things imagine #harmonia🌺

[coraniaid]

A few more thoughts on Surprise and Innocence.

As a plot device, the retcon that Angel’s curse can be undone if he experiences a moment of “true happiness” is a good one, I think.  The metaphor of Buffy’s boyfriend turning out to be a monster after she sleeps with him is perhaps a little on the nose, but the show handles it pretty well.  (And, despite some criticism I’ve seen, the show seems pretty keen to stress that this isn’t Buffy’s fault.)   I think the scene in Innocence where Buffy tearfully tells a soulless Angel that she loves him, only for him to respond with a flippant “love you too” as he saunters away, is basically the key to understanding every single one of Buffy’s future relationships (and not just the romantic ones either).

And this version of the Angel/Angelus split – where there’s a deliberate ambiguity about the extent to which Angel without a soul is a different person from Angel with a soul – makes a lot more sense than the version of Angelus the spin-off will later settle on (wherein the Angelus personality is so distinct that it even has its own memories).  Beyond anything else, if Angel the vampire with a soul isn’t the same person as Angelus the soulless vampire, what on earth is Angel actually trying to atone for?

That being said, as an actual curse it doesn’t quite make sense.  Who suffers if Angel loses his soul?  Not Angel, who (depending on the metaphysics) now either no longer exists or does exist but loves being evil.  In either case, he’s actually better off, no?  Isn’t he meant to be suffering? The show sort of gestures towards this by having Enyos say that he’s more interested in “vengeance” than justice, but – while this certainly isn’t just – it doesn’t really make sense as vengeance either. 

If Angel losing his soul is meant to be something that hurts Angel, then why was Jenny sent to spy on him and why does Enyos come to stop it happening?  If this is meant to be some sort of vindictive punishment, why are the people who arranged it trying to stop it?  This is something that I think actually works much better later on in Angel’s own show.  When Angel knows he can’t ever risk experiencing happiness, this new version of the curse makes a lot more sense.  The curse ends up forcing Angel to make himself suffer, something it clearly can’t do if it’s something he’s not aware of. 

But I don’t think there’s any suggestion in the show that Angel did know he was risking his soul by sleeping with Buffy, and the metaphorical reading obviously doesn’t work if he did.

(I think the way to fix this would be to position the “moment of true happiness” as an unintended loophole, maybe?  Say that the nature of the curse meant there had to be some way of breaking it, and the people who cast it chose “Angel stops suffering” because that was the one thing they wanted to avoid happening at all costs anyway?  But I don’t think that’s how it’s set up in the show itself)

Other thoughts:

I think this was the point I finally brought in a little to the Cordelia/Xander subplot.  I’m still not convinced it makes sense for Cordelia (yes, the show has previously suggested she finds her current level popularity somewhat hollow and unsatisfying, but we’ve also seen Cordelia date people she seems to like and who wouldn’t threaten her social standing and who also, unlike Xander Harris, occasionally say things to her that aren’t the most hurtful insults they can think of).  

But what starts working here is the way the show ties things back to Willow, and her long-running crush on Xander (compare “I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me” with “it just means you’d rather be with someone you hate than be with me”).  The show hasn’t quite moved beyond teasing the Willow/Xander subplot (and it will come back to it again next season), but I think this is the point where it becomes clear that Xander and Willow definitely aren’t going to end up together long term.  And I’m grateful enough that I can gloss over the Cordelia side of things for now (or at least, for a couple more episodes…) 

Speaking of Cordelia: I’m not at all sure if this was intentional – and looking around the internet, I don’t know if it’s a common reading – but I think the show actually suggests that Willow and Xander have known Cordelia since they were all very small.  Well before high school.  In The Dark Age Xander (whose age is given as seventeen in innocence) tells Cordelia “twelve years of you and I’m snapping”.  Which implies he’s basically known her (and Willow, at least as per Grave) since kindergarten, right?.  

I think that’s the closest the show directly addresses the question of when Cordelia and Willow first met, but at the end of next season Willow will say of Harmony that “she picked on me for ten years”.  So I think that the few crumbs we get support the reading that Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Harmony all knew each other in elementary school.

At least, I think that’s the context that the “We Hate Cordelia” Club is meant to be understood.  It doesn’t feel like something that could have been formed at any point in high school. Quite apart from how childish a name it is -- and how it suggests a level of standing up for herself that I don't think we see from Willow in Season 1 -- who apart from Willow and Xander would have joined?  Not Jesse, obviously.

But then, as I’ve mentioned before, the show has a history of inventing characters with long histories with the Scooby Gang from whole cloth for a single episode and then forgetting all about tem.  (Rodney Munsion beating Xander up “every day for five years” back in Inca Mummy Girl springs to mind.)  So I’m probably – well, definitely – reading too much into a couple of lines of dialogue and expecting the show to have a consistent past it never really has. 

#btvs #buffy rewatch 2023

[zutaralesbian]

Officially finished a first play through of all the romantic routes in book 3. Gonna give my review/thoughts on all of them. Probably a long post ahead because I have a lot of feelings even if no one but me cares lmao. (Obviously, spoilers under the cut)

The overall book

I’ve already seen someone in the tag say that this book had their least favorite plot but favorite relationship scenes. And I think I have to agree with that. The villains of this book just…did not intrigue me the way the villains of the first two books did. I’m not sure why but something about them didn’t hit. HOWEVER the romance and friendship scenes were excellent, the best of the series so far. And because I typically care more about characters than I do plots, that saved it for me.

Gonna ramble about the routes in order of the way I played them. (Since I only play the femslash routes, I’m going to be referring to the characters only by their female names in order to not complicate things. But obviously most of it applies to the male versions too.)

Ava

Ohhhhh Ava. My personal fave but the one that hurts the most lol. And this book (especially the ending) was no different. Though to her credit, we DID get a lot more from her than I thought we were going to get. Ava showed far more vulnerability in this book than she did in the first two books combined. From telling the detective her backstory (which was unbelievably sad btw. I totally get why she’s so emotionally guarded), taking the detective on that car date and letting them in on something that gives her personal enjoyment, and affirming to the detective more than once that she’s afraid to lose them.

And then….that kiss/confession scene. Like many others, I predicted that we were going to get a kiss only for Ava to take it back. But it DID kind of surprise me that she was so honest about it and did confess that she knew there was something between them. I kind of figured it was going to be an impulsive scene with no actual confessions. So this was better than I imagined. Still, it was a gut punch. And while I sympathize with Ava’s trauma and I don’t think she owes the detective a relationship, it is kind of coming off as her (unintentionally or not) playing with the detective’s feelings. So because of that I do think she sort of deserved the verbal smack-down your UB bestie gives to her towards the end. (In my route, Morgan accused her of caring more about protecting herself than she did about protecting the detective…and atm I’m kind of inclined to agree with that.)

I see Ava finally giving in at some point during book 4. Mostly because at this point…where else can her route go? They’ve kissed and feelings have been confessed. There’s no taking that back. It can only go up from here now, right? (At least I hope lmao). I’m wondering if the detective is going to move into the warehouse in the near future now that they’re officially a member of Unit Bravo? That could also be interesting on this route.

I love Ava and desperately want her to finally be happy. But she needs to stop sabotaging herself 😩

Favorite scene: The car date! I loved that we got to see a lighter, more peaceful side of her during it. Plus that wrist kiss 🥺

Morgan

While Ava is my favorite member of Unit Bravo, I do have to confess that Morgan was probably the MVP of book 3 specifically. Both her romance route and her friendship scenes were excellent in this book. Her character development is so apparent. I love how the detective steadily notices Morgan using less and less sexual innuendos in their conversations together as the route goes on. Not because Morgan has lost interest, but because she’s becoming legitimately afraid of the possibility of something happening to the detective…and grappling with the realizations that she really does not want to lose them. I was initially surprised by the lack of sex in her route, but the fact that there wasn’t one until near the end was really fitting imo. And at that point, it wasn’t just sex, it was making love. (Whether Morgan fully realized it or not). The route was just so emotional, in a way I wasn’t fully expecting.

I think at this point, Morgan knows that the detective is very important to her. She just isn’t fully sure how she wants to define the relationship. But I see her getting there very soon. I used to say that I saw Morgan fully giving in to her feelings before Ava (and I still think that) but maybe they’re both going to get there in book 4. Just Morgan towards the beginning/middle and Ava probably at the end.

Favorite scene: The shower scene. It was so tender and sweet. I loved that it was completely non-sexual and just Morgan helping the detective with their wounds. It’s possibly in my top 3 scenes of the series so far in general tbh.

Nat

I enjoyed Nat’s route this book way more than I thought I was going to. I like her character but her route has always admittedly been my least favorite…mostly just because I found it the least interesting. However, that certainly started changing here.

First off, it was surprisingly spicy. I already mentioned this in another post but I’ll say it here too. I find it very funny that Nat comes off as so scandalized by the sexual stuff in Morgan’s route but then in her own route…we get a potential outdoor sex scene, and one against a pool table lmao.

But outside the shallow stuff, I also liked all of the internal conflict with Nat. Her route is arguably the fastest burn. (I know Farah’s was kind of fast as well, but Farah at least hasn’t dropped the L word yet. At least not on my play through). Nat fell hard and fast. HOWEVER I think the reason for that might be because there’s a lot of angst coming in her route in the future. It’s obvious she’s keeping something about her past a secret from the detective…something dark. And she’s afraid that if the detective finds out about it, they won’t love her anymore. I’m very intrigued to find out what that is. My guess is she spent a period hunting and killing people before she joined the agency and found redemption. Whatever it is, it’s sure to be juicy.

Favorite scene: Their first sex scene. I loved that it comes right after the detective’s first love confession.

Farah

I saved Farah as my last solo route because I wanted to get some fluffiness in before delving into the pain the triangle was bound to bring me. And it definitely delivered. Her route had me smiling like an idiot throughout most of it.

But I also enjoy the complexities of Farah’s character. It’s very apparent that she has abandonment issues. Even though she’s obviously happy being with the detective, she also isn’t 100% sure that the detective isn’t going to eventually leave her, which breaks my heart. (And that’s probably part of the reason the L word hasn’t been dropped on her route yet). In a way, she’s almost as emotionally guarded as Ava and Morgan but she just hides it better. (Using a sunny and happy persona).

My hope for her is that she eventually gets to a place where she can talk to the detective about those insecurities. My guess is eventually, something big is going to happen that’s going to finally fully prove that the detective is in it for the long haul with her. Maybe she gets kidnapped and the detective goes through a lot to save her, or something like that.

Favorite scene: The movie date :)

Love Triangle

Not gonna lie, I’m not a huge fan of the love triangle. Partly because I always feel bad and making the decisions stresses me out lmao. But because I want to see everything, I have a detective for it.

The drama is heating up. Nat is beginning to realize there’s something going on between Ava and the detective, she just doesn’t want to accept it yet. And they’re starting to fight more :( I take solace in the fact that the author has already said that A and N’s friendship will be okay in the end, no matter what happens with the triangle. But I’m assuming we’re in for some more drama before things settle.

Being that Ava is my fave, I’ve pretty much always planned to have my detective eventually choose her, even though I feel bad about hurting Nat. But ngl, this book only further cemented that decision. I know there’s probably traumatic reasons why Nat is so overprotective of the detective but Ava was right when she said she was smothering them. I find Ava’s way of handling things (obviously wanting to protect the detective but also acknowledging they’re strong and should be able to get the chance to fight for themselves) far more attractive, personally.

(Side note: It’s interesting that there’s kind of been a role reversal between Nat and Ava on that front. In the beginning, Nat wanted to tell the detective the truth about the supernatural whereas Ava wanted to keep them in the dark. But now, Nat wants the detective to sit out of the fighting while Ava thinks they should get to be involved).

I’m wondering when the triangle is going to be resolved? My current guess is by the end of book 4, being that’s when I think Ava will finally give in on her solo route as well).

Basically, everyone in Unit Bravo needs therapy.

#the wayhaven chronicles #the Wayhaven chronicles spoilers #wayhaven chronicles #*

[sco07ut]

i’ve got like 20 mins until my bus shows up and i’m bored so, at risk of being mobbed by that specific brand of over-30-cishet-female-mat-baynton-stans, i would like to talk about why i think transfem thomas thorne could actually be a good route for his character growth !

(but it’s below the cut bc it’s long discussion </3)

so obviously being infatuated with alison is an integral part to thomas’ character, aside from being a terrible poet it’s one of his most identifying traits. even in episodes where he’s tried to ‘grow out of it’ (see: s4e2) he’s still back to his original state at the end of the episode (and while this could be chalked up to the fact that you stays how you dies and therefore can’t grow as a person i would like to raise you this: he obviously was not obsessed with alison when he died, therefore i think there’s still some hope for him yet) anyway ! got off track a bit there,

thomas can’t ‘grow out of’ loving alison until he recognises why he loves alison - or perhaps, the idea of alison (now this could lead onto a talk abt why i also think and hc that tom is aromantic but people have covered that before)

let’s backtrack for a moment and review what exactly we know and/or can infer about thomas: he’s unlike the other men we see in the thomas thorne affair, his interests, opinions on romance and accumulated skills aren’t particularly masculine.

he’s very creative (just because he’s bad at it doesn’t mean the drive isn’t there), adores the arts (written word, paintings, songs), he clearly values women for who they are as people (and to a degree, their looks) and bases his affections on that, as opposed to financial gain (squints at francis button), and he clearly hasn’t had any experience when it comes to duels or fights in general and his general ‘layabout’ personality would definitely reflect the fact that rich women in the 1800s had very few responsibilities and obviously weren’t expected to work.

now, all of these aren’t inherently feminine traits, this is obvious, we all know this, i’m not saying that men can’t do these things. kindly don’t take my words out of context, but in the case of a man who lived in the 1800s, they can be seen as pretty feminine. this also isn’t the basis for my argument, i just want to point out a few things before i get into the meat of it !

and slightly less solid reasoning: mat baynton just plays him really fruitily. if you asked me to explain it i don’t think i could, but cmon just look at him

anywa, it’s pretty much an accepted part of the fanbase by now that thomas is bad at recognising what sort of love he’s feeling, and i raise you this: what if the desire he’s feeling for alison isn’t romantic, but is instead, desiring to be her.

(if you’re a lesbian, this is a familiar concept: do i want to date her or be her?)

he could potentially see elements of himself in alison, her own appreciation for art, and maybe even traces of the physical self (slim, white, dark haired? - this could also support the reasons why he was such a strong interest in lucy, who also shares these features, but hasn’t expressed any canon interest in fanny or kitty. mary is a bit of an outlier here but it’s whatever, my hc just has pockets ig). and when we have a great appreciation for someone we can tend to idolise them a little. in thomas’ mind, alison could potentially just be an idealised version of who he wants to be, and in his own confusion when it comes to recognising that fact, he could be mistaking admiration for adoration.

thomas is very clearly an idiot, the entire series is proof of that, and generally unless the facts are laid out right in front of him he doesn’t Get things. when we consider the fact that transgenderism was extremely uncommon and likely incredibly underground, thomas probably doesn’t even know it’s an option outside of the way that literally everyone ponders what it would’ve been like to have been born the opposite sex at least once in their life.

so why do i think this would be an effective way to fix thomas’s weird infatuation with alison?

well, at this point in the series it’s obvious that thomas isn’t just going to stop ‘loving’ her, there needs to be some big wake-up call that makes him stop. however, i feel that the longer ThemThere keep dragging out this part of his character, the harder it’ll be to bounce back from it. right now we’re lucky that thomas is such an avidly romantic character, his obsession with alison is uncomfortable enough as it currently stands but at least we know it’s innocent and emotional. but as the series goes on i just worry that that line could start to blur.

at this point, thomas suddenly moving on from alison seems entirely unfeasible and he would definitely need to have some element of identity rocked to really consider what it is about alison that he’s obsessed with. of course i’d be completely happy if that happened to be the fact that he’s aromantic or aroace but i just think thomas ending up transfem would be an interesting route to go down as an alternative (bc i know some people are very much ride and die when it comes to certain ships. and i’ll admit, i do appreciate a bit of romance between tom n different characters)

i feel like it would also be a better justification for his infatuation with her aside from just ‘too much love’ (thomas thorne=ashfur.?), obviously all obsessions are a bit iffy but i feel like if it came from a place of ‘i really want to be her and don’t know how to express that’ instead of just ‘i want her’ it would be a bit less weird. less creepy i think? and it’s an issue that can actually be worked through and addressed properly with ways of helping thomas transition instead of telling him to simply stop loving alison.

plus it would make all their interactions just so much sweeter !! whenever they talk i’m always on the edge of my seat waiting for thomas to make some weird remark but augh!!!!! they could b girl best friends !!!!

and it’s not like the cast is adverse to playing trans women ! gabriel and ho-tan are such beloved characters, gabriel gets her happy ending and even though ho-tan’s wish is reversed it’s still very much implied that they respect her identity (i do wish they had explored or at least addressed this more though) (however, ho-tan’s femininity is never the subject of a joke like gabriel’s is, so i suppose they even each other out)

anyway my final reason for tom being transfem is that dear god i’m jsut a simple lesbian please please let me have this i won’t ask for anything else i swear

#bbc ghosts #thomas thorne #i know using he/him pronouns for the entirety of a post about transfem tom seems a little counterproductive #but it was mostly just for the sake of simplicity #also apologies for how much this absolutely tears tom. i prommy i love this stupid poet #i was a little hesitant about posting this tbh. i jsut hope it finds the right audiences #usually i don’t just randomly genderswap a character but the current male to female ratio in the ghosts casts is…. tugs collar. um anyway #sorry for being a lesbian (i’m not sorry)

[arcadiabaytornado]

While I love Max, I heavily disagree with her here, and this line has always irked me.

Rachel hurt Chloe by hooking up with Frank behind her back, and it's invalidating to shrug those emotions off because Rachel is missing. What she did felt like a betrayal, and it doesn't matter if it technically was or wasn't since it's enough to upset Chloe. She's not wrong for being hurt that someone who showed romantic interest in her was also with others without her knowledge. In fact, I don’t think Chloe’s reaction is that disproportionate considering her abandonment issues and the situation. 

Plus, I think Rachel being missing makes things worse emotionally. Chloe can’t just ask Rachel what her intentions were with Frank and how she felt about her. The answer to both of those questions are ones Chloe has to come up with on her own, and even then she’ll never truly be sure what was going through Rachel’s head at the time. So not only is she left with the sense of betrayal, but she can’t even get answers as to why she feels that way. 

Like I said, Max is fantastic, but I’ve never really agreed with her point in this scene. What I think she was going for was “Don’t blame Rachel until we have all the facts.” but it comes off as pretty insensitive. Though I don’t hold this against her in the long run since characters are much more interesting if they make mistakes. 

#Life Is Strange #Lis #Max Caulfield

[sorcerous-caress]

hey I’m glad you’re not weirded out or anything by the tickling stuff (I’m the anon by the way) I might write something with my tav after I’m done with the “my tav as a companion” part 2 with the list questions you made after my first one but I don’t how long that’ll take since I kinda feel weird writing about my tav in that way since they are based off myself not that I don’t want to do it I would like to write stuff like that for an OC I’ve never done it before but it kinda feels like I’d be doing something “naughty” which I guess I would be but anyways I’ll write something I’m gonna try and get over the awkward feeling so I can go more in depth with the “my tav as a companion” romance part because I feel like I can touch more on that

(sorry for ranting, longer than I thought it’d be)

I get what you're feeling exactly, and my only advice to that is to embrace it.

All writing in some form or another, is based on yourself. Every character you've written fanfics about, every OC you've made, every small headcanon, all of them are connected to you.

All of them, hold a small part of you in them, a small truth that you might not be unaware of. Writers can only write about their own experiences and emotions, even in fantasy and imaginary scenarios, you have to base it around something you're familiar with to be able to comprehend it.

I'm aromatic yet I write romantic stories, I have never felt romantic love so I base all of my romantic stories on how platonic love felt to me and mix it with what I think romantic love should be like based on what other people said.

I get the feeling of vulnerability when revealing things about an OC that holds a lot of your own cores as a human, that was based on your own image. That's why it's good to remember that everything else was also based on your own image, you just weren't aware of it. You've left a trace of your personality and your fingerprints on every character and subject you've touched.

Honestly, I am not in the best state health wise to answer this, but I didn't want to leave it sitting for long.

There is a fear of being cringe, I genuinely truly get it. I still feel it too a lot of times, fear of being too weird or off putting. It's so easy to tell someone to "just express themselves" until that self expression manifests in a way that doesn't fit the socially acceptable ideas of other people.

Who gives a shit if I don't like tickle stuff? What right do I have to judge you? What right does anyone have to judge you? None of us matters when it comes to your own writing and self expression, only you matter.

Likewise for me, I like cringe worthy stuff too! And I subtily microdose them into my writing because I don't have the courage to come outright and say it. I am afraid. You are braver than me in that aspect and honesty kudos to you for being yourself unapologetically.

I had an old writing blog where I only wrote tame fluffy stuff that everyone wanted, only expressed myself within social acceptable limits, only showed the most clean and sanitized versions of my art.

And you know that phrase about if you don't like what you're writing then other people won't? It's a huge fucking lie. That blog was so much bigger and more popular than this blog in a shorter amount of time.

I had triple the followers I have now, so many nice comments and reblogs, too many requests than I could keep track of. People loved the sanitized version of my writing.

I didn't, I hated it. It was empty and souless and I had to force myself to sit down and write it. Scrub away all traces of my own personality from it and make it the most appealing to the general public.

Words never flowed like they do to me now, I dreaded opening my requests back then, I dreaded checking on my notes.

And so I left it at the height of its popularity, didn't even say a thing just slowly ghosted away.

Don't do what I did, is what I'm saying. You have a lovely OC and if you want to put more of your own self and your own interests in them then so be it. I promise other people won't know and even if they connect the dots, they'd have to be actual weirdos to make judgments on a real human being based on an imaginary doll they move around.

Give Sean the tickle kink if you want that's perfectly okay. Base all of his companion answers around yourself if you want, make him an extension of you. Maybe he will slowly take what you've given him and evolve to his own character, maybe he will always remain a beautiful reflection of you, both of these outcomes are welcomed as long as they make you happy.

I did it with Sol, bpd isn't the best, and making an OC that represents all the worst traits I saw in myself and showing them love and care helpled me unimaginably. And fuck yeah I definitely base their answers around myself, every writer bases their writing around themselves, how else are you supposed to create originality? Your mind is the only completely original source that only YOU have access to!

It's a fucking gold mine, an exclusive library of experiences and moments that no one else but you know about. And you want to ignore it and put 13 layers of irony between you and everything you create? For whAT?

Kids love plushies and get attached to them because the plushies are their own OCs in a way, the dolls represent an extension of their inner psyche. So when kids hug and shower their plushies with love, or even get reinact a dramatic sad story with their dolls, it's them talking to themselves.

Art is communication, whether it be with an audience or with yourself. self-indulgence is the thing that makes art worth making. It's what gives it a soul, it's what sets it apart form AI bullshit.

And some people will see themselves in Sean. Did I tell you that the tickle fic requests I wrote had likes and reblogs from other people? I would've never imagined someone would like it besides the requester yet there were others.

We're all really weird, inside. If you're going to be original and create art that you like then it will be weird and cringy, same goes for me, same goes for everyone.

Embrace it, peel the layers of irony, be yourself unapologetically. You are worth it.

And side note, I really enjoy your requests and reading what you send me about Sean. But my own enjoyment always comes after your own comfort and boundaries. You don't have to answer any questions that make you uncomfortable in the "as a companion part 2" list.

I will always view these answers through Sean and as a reflection of him, never a reflection of the author. That's a right only you have and a line only you can draw.

#♡writing

[torialefay]

hello!! as u know i’m a huge huge fan of ur writing so whenever u have time could i request compatibility w chan??

scorpio sun (9th)

libra moon (7th)

sag in mercury (9th)

sag in venus (10th)

pisces in mars (first)

virgo in jupiter (7th)

pisces rising

thank you !!! <3💋

hey baby. haven’t even looked at your chart yet in relation to channie, but as i was scrolling though, i realized we are v compatible so basically we’re in love now. if things don’t work out between you and chris, come back to me. hehe <3

I’m gonna group by houses for you! Just know that when a planet is in a house, it just means that the traits associated with that planet will manifest in the areas of your life associated with that house :)

1st house: governs your first impression on others and reactions/self-expression in new situations.

Pisces Ascendant: You probably have some sort of whimsical nature (or sometimes I’ll also see a more grungy style) about you that other people quickly notice, whether it’s a quirky aesthetic, fun jewelry, unique or dramatic hand gestures, alluring makeup, or just an overall relaxed and charming presence. You may tend to be on the shy-ish side until you feel comfortable with people, BUT if extraverted, you are likely not overbearing when first meeting someone. You come across as someone who is warm and compassionate, but could also seem like you’re in your own head. You may even come across as “hard to pin down.”

With an ascendant in Pisces, you probably went through either one or a series of events in childhood that were hard to cope with. As a defense mechanism, you learned how to disassociate with the rest of the world. You learned how to create your own world in your head. You can escape to this place now when you are going through a difficult situation. Quite literally, you can just imagine otherwise and ignore reality. While this can have some negative connotations, it also allows you to become quite imaginative and creative. You’re able to see things (especially people) in a way quite unlike what other people can see.

I think this is a really great match to have with Chan. His ascendant in Gemini shows that he is heavily interested in other people when meeting them. He would love the individuality that he could sense from you. I realllllly think that you’d be a person he would be comfortable around you since his 11th house placement (the house of friends) is also in Pisces! If you met, you would more than likely become friends first before jumping into a relationship.

Mars in Pisces: This indicates to me that your are usually not very explosive in arguments, but rather tend to have either a more emotional reaction or a “peacemaker-like” reaction. Although you don’t like confrontation, you can see it as a way to get to understand others better. You are most likely able to analyze people’s reactions when they are angry and act from a place to try to help them. I’ve talked before about Chan’s buildup of anger leading to explosive outbursts when things boil over. This is a pattern you would naturally be able to see in him and work with him on.

7th house: rules platonic and romantic relationships

Moon in Libra: I think this is a GREAT match for Chan. To me, the most important match to have in common with a long-term partner is to have complimentary or matching moons or sun-moon pairings. You have the same moon as Chan (and me hehe <3), meaning that the things you value most are the same. You both need to find beauty and value in everything in your life to be able to feel comfort and peace. You both also value the feeling of being known, understood, and recognized for your inherent goodness. Both of you love to be validated in who you are. I could see you all being a great match because you truly GET each other and want to help each other see what you see in them. You and Chan would have a quiet, understanding stillness on a basic energy level. The way that I like to think about it is the energy between you two when you are just sitting there by yourselves, not talking, just enjoying each other’s company. You have the literal same quiet, peaceful energy in those moments, so just little moments being together can be very healing.

9th house: heavily involved in the way you think about travel, relationships with those around the world, philosophy, spirituality, and education

Sun in Scorpio: Sun rules personality and Scorpio rules love and beauty on a deep, emotional level. Thus, it’s highly likely that your friends would describe you as someone who understands others well and has a certain type of charm. You also likely have a way of thinking or speaking that seems elegant or meaningful. You probably think very deeply about things and love to find beauty in your surroundings. Scorpio has a watery nature- and encapsulates the dark, deep flowing water. You most likely find a certain type of beauty in darkness or can see hope in a time of sadness. This could also feed into your style or preferred aesthetics around you, ESPECIALLY considering your Pisces Ascendant. Scorpios value deep, deep emotional connection. They physically and mentally NEED to understand others. Channeling this into your 9th house placement, you are likely very interested in different cultures and understanding their differences and ways of thinking that are contrary to your own. You likely are interested in and have deeply thought about religion and philosophy, especially in thinking of the world as one unit. You could be drawn to more alternative ways of thinking: magic, astrology, wicca, tarot, universalism, etc. Your Sun in Scorp makes you very understanding of people’s differences, which I think would be a cool thing for Chan to have in his life. He’d be thankful that you were interested in both his Korean and Australian personalities (bc they definitely differ) and wanting to get to know more about their cultures and things he grew up with. He would like the fact that you have a dark, deep, emotional aspect that you can share with just him. I see him taking your personality and molding his around it, pushing his aesthetics into even more of an “all black bad boy tumblr boyfriend” vibe. I think you’d make him sexier tbh lol.

Mercury in Sagittarius: Mercury rules thought and communication, while Sag rules freedom and adventure. This in your 9th house shows me that you are probably a good communicator with all different types of people. You can usually find something in common with just about anyone. You may be interested in learning other languages. You definitely like to travel and would value actually going and seeing these places, talking with the people that live there, to learn more about places than simply watching videos. You most likely also need some sort of outlet to talk about your true emotions. You don’t like being told what you can and cannot say. There are positive and negative aspects about this placement with Chris. I think travel with the both of you would be super fun and spontaneous. You would go absolutely everywhere. HOWEVER, you really value freedom of expression, so you would have a hard time restraining yourself from talking about things since you’d be in the public eye. You’d get really fed up with Chan having to go through the same too. You COULD face troubles in the relationship, especially if it’s something doesn’t want to hide but has to.

10th house: involved in your status in society and how successful others perceive you.

Venus in Sagittarius: Venus is the planetary ruler of beauty, love, aesthetics, charm, and sensuality. Sagittarius, again, is involved in freedom and adventure. It is likely, long story short, that you are kinky and down to try basically anything. Considering your other placements, you probably feel like you NEED to try everything to be able to experience everything you want in life. Your love life with Chan would definitely be spicy… especially considering he’d be equally as kinky. Especially the match up between your Sag and his Scorp in Venus, you would definitely agg each other on to bring both the emotional aspect and the adventurous aspect in the bedroom. Y’all will be trying everything.

In the 10th house, this could manifest as using your sense of love and charm to gain success in life. It is likely that you would be able to move up in society due to your looks or aesthetics. I do think though, that you would bring a lot of new ideas and creations about that would propel you forward. Just be determined to stick with them instead of taking on many new projects at a time.

[theblogofdavyjones]

The sketch artist

Pairing: Davy Jones x reader

Warnings: None

Requested: @thesamuraiofsingapore

Request:

Heyy hi if it's possible I would like to make a request! With like Davy Jones when he was still human who discovers in his crew a girl who pretended to be a man only to become a sailor and one day Davy discovers that Reader spent his time making portraits of him with little hearts and things like that. Idk if I explained myself well 😭 If you don't accept it's fine byee <3

***

You can’t recall on how long it’s been since you’ve voluntarily traded yourself in on Jack Sparrow’s behalf to settle his debt with Davy Jones.

You would literally do anything for anyone, it didn’t matter if it was for someone you know, or for someone who was a complete stranger to you. But you knew Jack Sparrow, not just by name but by basically growing up together as childhood friends. The both of you were close, not in a romantic way, but through a friendship way.

Even now, you still kept that friendship close within your heart. When you offered to take Jack’s place, Jack protested against it, but you wouldn’t let him convince you otherwise. Jack couldn’t help but feel angry about it, angry about losing you as a payment in debt, angry he wouldn’t have someone there to be keeping company. With a whispering plea and a pleading look, Jack reluctantly agreed to let you go.

But it was more of what you asked of him.

“Please. Please let me do this for you. You’ve given me so much already, I’m certain of this.” you promise.

———

As you keep thinking of that moment, it still feels as if all that happened yesterday.

The memory of the first night stepping onboard the Dutchman, was still just as fresh in your mind. As you think of it, after accepting the terms of one hundred years of service, it dawns on you it’s been five years since the trade. Your personality is unique, you are an expert on letting yourself show no fear at all when it’s struck within you. You didn’t know what Davy Jones would do to you, but you know at some degree of what he is capable of and is known for doing, and guessing how it all may turn out scared you more than for it to actually be happening.

When you got there, you were surprised that Davy Jones seemed to be sparing you the treatment his crew was forced to go though without a fight. Rather, the captain would give some tasks, mainly the smaller and lighter ones to which you never once refused. Overtime, Davy Jones started growing a soft spot for you as you were surprising yourself that you were beginning to like him and not mind being around him so much. Bootstrap noticed of course, and when he approached you about it one day, he approached you while sitting in some shade, obviously in a different world drawing in your sketchbook.

“What’s that you got there?” he asks, over shoulder.

You nearly jumped at his voice.

“Sorry, miss. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine, these are just some of my sketches I’ve done.” you reply.

You look to Bootstrap as he’s giving himself a closer look at your drawings, and is immediately admired by your talent.

“These are really good, they should be framed of the wall of the ship.”

Bootstrap goes on with the compliments until he stops at a picture of Jack Sparrow.

“You still think about-“

“That one was from a long time ago.” you say, cutting him off.

When Bootstrap turns to the next page, you’re face drains of color, embarrassed by the sketch he had just found.

It starts from a sketch of Barbossa, and Bootstrap himself, to now something more surprising. It was surprising enough that it would have one raise their eyebrows as a sign of their interests.

It was a half drawing of Davy Jones. The idea to sketch Davy Jones had come when you heard him mentioning of Jack Sparrow to Maccus. As you knew it was going to be another challenge to conquer, you were confident enough to sketch him by memory. You had his image in your mind, but later on, you knew you’d be needing more than an image, and that’s how you came about sitting in the little bit of shade you could find.

“Is th-“

You quickly swipe the sketch book away from his hold.

“That’s, that’s nothing. Really.”

Bootstrap didn’t want to press on, or make you say anything you don’t want to.

So he nods in understanding before inviting you a walk around the ship, to which you accept. But not before returning that sketch book to your quarters. Once you did, you weren’t thinking and had only thrown it on the bed before turning away.

———

While on your walk with Bootstrap, Davy Jones had a task assignment for you, and sent Maccus to go fetch you from your quarters.

Once Maccus had reached your quarters, and there was no response to his knocking on the door, he lets himself in, thinking you might be asleep. However, to his surprise, you weren’t at all there, the only thing that was left in his sighting was of the sketch book that was left behind. Because he had some sort of respect for you, guilt tripped him a little as he takes it into his own hands and opens it.

He couldn’t help but make a face of disgust seeing the first drawing was of Jack Sparrow, than to Barbossa. When he got to the sketch of himself, he froze and admired before turning the next page. The half drawing of Davy Jones was a shock to him, but as he got a closer look, he noticed there had been tiny hearts around the art. The next thing he did was take the sketch book with him to hand it over to Davy Jones himself. The captain needed to see this, or so that’s what he thought. It would soon turn into a disaster after you would find out what Maccus had done.

Or at least, that’s what you had thought.

Only time will tell.

***

@theblogofdavyjones

Requests: open

Tags: @kyoui @royisrandom @marsswann @imalittleoutthere @princessofthornsandroses @justafairytailofinnocence @friendlynova @personlovinganime @mypookiebeardavyjones

A/N:

I changed it up a bit to make it a little easier for me to write, I hope you still like it!

[heliza24]

hi hi <3

I’ve read somewhere in one of your answer-posts today (I think it was the interview with a vampire question), that you’re not completely uninterested in the possibility of bisexual August :3. As someone who has been on the bi!August ship since season 1 (and as someone who has thought the ship might have set its sail already) I screamed a bit 🥸 so I would love to know if you have any headcanons and ideas about the realisation, exploration and the how‘s and when’s of it all. (maybe also with who he has these experiences) (it can be nsfw too)

Thank you 🩷💜💙

Hello!

This ask made me so happy, mainly because @bluedalahorse and I have a long standing agreement about August being a 2 on the Kinsey scale (aka not fully straight). It usually takes the form of one of us talking about something August did in canon and the other person going “🗣️ Kinsey! 👏🏻2!👏🏻” whether or not it makes a ton of sense and then we collapse into giggles. This is somewhere between a joke, headcanon, and serious interpretation for us I think, so it’s fun to find someone else on the bi August train.

Ok in terms of my thoughts about it here are some possible headcanons/interpretations:

1. I think it’s interesting to imagine that August, along with Nils, was one of the boys who got semi outed at the initiation. I think he would have been in the closet even to himself until then (being queer would definitely not fit into the aristocratic worldview August was raised in), and he would probably try to repress any revelation the initiation prompted in him afterwards. But canonically it’s clear that August and Nils were both really affected by the initiation, and that could be an interesting way to explain why.

2. I am personally in favor of Nils/August for this reason! I know Vincent/August is semi popular on AO3, but if Hillerska era August is gonna furtively hook up with any of the Forest Hill boys in fic, I think Nils makes much more sense, since he is already canonically queer and they have the initiation connection. I also really like the idea of August and Nils getting together in the years after Hillerska. Not in a serious romantic way, but in a “I’m having a lot of confusing feelings about missing Hillerska, maybe we should have sex about it?” way. Blue is currently working on some future fic along these lines and I am excited to read it. I do love embracing the “no gods no masters” thing in fic and creating unconventional pairings like this.

3. I think it’s SO easy to read August’s mean-spirited fascination with Simon as sublimated attraction. I mean look at those weird forehead kisses! I gotta shout out @all-things-sigust here, a blog that is usually Sargust themed (which I also love) but switched to Sigust recently and has made some very funny posts/memes about August/Simon.

4. I would also be interested to read a more serious coming out arc for August in a post-canon fic. I could see it being really hard for August to come to terms with his own queerness after what he put Wilhelm and Simon through (and it would be interesting for him to realize that maybe posting the video was motivated by internalized homophobia). How would he feel about basically copying Wilhelm’s journey? How would he handle being queer and in the royal family? Would it prompt him to leave the line of succession like Wilhelm? It’s interesting to think about.

Those are my ideas! I fully support anyone who wants to explore more unconventional pairings in fic or send August on a journey of self discovery he didn’t get to go on in the show. We have a completed canon now and the joy of that is getting to play with it. And I of course will always be in favor of Kinsey 2 August Horn 😉

#young royals #ask box #currently accepting silly and serious young royals questions!