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#and an ornery old bitch
snowyh2o · 3 months
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Alastor has sworn at three people and none of them were Vox.
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random-thoughts-uwu · 2 months
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it's hilarious that alastors arch nemeses are
1. the literal king of hell, one of the seven deadly sins, the first fallen angel, lucifer fricken morningstar
2. one of hells strongest overlords who controls all the electronics in hell, vox
3. the first man ever created, who almost killed him with a fricken GUITAR, adam
4. some old cannibal lady named susan
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wobblesthewaffle · 25 days
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Charlie: I can't believe you assassinated Susan! Alastor: Well, 'assassinated' implies it was politically motivated. I killed her because she was an ornery old bitch, so, technically speaking, it was actually murder. Charlie: How does that make it any better?! Alastor: I believe the court will find my point very much acceptable. Rosie, nodding: As the only elected official in this town, I find the defendant not guilty. Court adjourned. Charlie: *just standing there completely baffled*
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radio-writes · 2 months
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I am not ignoring the asks or comments. I just so happen to be a corporate slave working 8 to 6 and currently dealing with an irritatingly bitchy client conveniently named Susan.
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Anyway, Part 2/2 of What is Left of Me Without You? tomorrow.
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official-alastor · 1 month
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Susan?
Susan.
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samiamjh · 27 days
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I like to imagine that Charlie felt so bad about yelling at Susan that after the battle, she called dibs on one of Adam's legs just so she could give it to her as an apology.
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sapphire-weapon · 11 months
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Thought you might like to join a Leon × Ashley discord server. This was made by a fanfic writer over at AO3. Everything Leshley and making friends and general RE stuff. Just thought I'd share :)
https://discord.gg/uHDY2crh
I have been burned by one too many fandom discord servers to want to join, but I'mma publish this ask anyway in case any of my followers would be interested.
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multifandommenace · 2 months
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I am still not over the fact that I'm pretty sure I've made all these expressions when watching my elderly cat bully my grandfather's very large dog.
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krystal-kade · 2 months
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What happened to Alastor being scary
The biggest thing I noticed in Hazbin Hotel that Alastor is not scary. He used to be mysterious, creepy, and intimidating. We didn't know what he was thinking. We didn't know how he was feeling. He was such a great character because we knew he was insanely powerful, but he didn't act like it. But now that the show has come out, he's not scary or intimidating. He's just an edgelord.
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Pilot Alastor wouldn't make this. Here he's goofy, but in a bad way. Where's the mysterious Alastor? This guy's just like "HAHAHAH I'M SO EVIL >:)" but he just seems stupid?
He also says all these corny lines, like "This is your sign not to mess with the radio demon," (it was something like that) "I'm about to end your fucking life," and "Adam. First man, next to die." He sounds like he's a 12 year old role-playing a creepypasta. These aren't intimidating, he just sounds dumb, edgy, and cringy
ALSO he seriously needs to STOP saying FUCK. It wasn't popular slang in the early 1900's, so he probably would never say it, but it also doesn't fit his persona. A really unique part of him is that he doesn't swear much and he's always smiling. He shouldn't say "ornery old bitch" and he shouldn't say 'fuck you." They just don't fit him. If he wanted what he said to have impact, he would have said something like "she's such a bitter old woman, bless her soul." or when Lucifer says the hotel's name isn't very clever, he should've said "your highness, intelligence is in constant pursuit of you, but it seems you have always been faster" because subtle insults he thinks everyone else is too stupid to understand seems more like his style.
I'll excuse him saying fuck once or twice. Maybe when he breaks his staff, and once more in season two? But he says it too much to have impact.
TL;DR, Alastor's not scary because he's not mysterious. He's just an angry edgelord
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nunalastor · 1 month
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Ok, but Susan?? She may be an ornery old bitch, but Alastor is a cannibal. He is Rosie'sbest friendand a leader in the community in his own right and is part if the close-knit community that makes up CannibalTownas far as Hell's Biggest Karen is concerned. So Susan will look at Alastor dating the Big Boss of Hell himself and be very, VERY Judgemental... of Lucifer.
Lucifer is a known play boy and possible cheater. Susan will swing at that little blonde bitch with zero hesitation.
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itsclydebitches · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel: Let's Talk About Cursing!
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Trigger warning for lots of cursing in this post (obviously) and discussion of canon abuse scenes
As I delve further into the Hazbin Hotel fandom, I’ve inevitably come across a variety of people who dislike the show for an equal variety of reasons. One criticism I’ve seen with some consistency is in regards to the cursing and yeah, I get it. That’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. However, the repeated claim that the cursing is only there as a—failed—attempt at bad, lazy humor got me thinking about why I personally liked the cursing, and why I think it serves a greater purpose in the show.
Now yes, some of the cursing does function as an arguably simplistic joke. The most common setup I’ve noticed is one that leans into a contrast in tone/personalities. We see this a lot with the polite, comparatively timid Charlie as she navigates her distinctly vulgar domain.
Charlie: “Hi, mister!” Demon: “Go fuck yourself!”
The entirety of “Happy Day in Hell” plays with this contrast, setting up Charlie’s slightly skewed, but significantly optimistic perspective of Hell. We are shown again and again how her lyrics are contradicted or twisted into something less innocent through the visuals: a “revealing” street where it’s “hard not to stare” has BDSM going on in a nearby window, Charlie will “open the door” for her people and then literally does so... for a guy who’s already dead. (Or, you know, temporarily out of commission until he heals, or whatever demons do when they’re ‘killed’ by things other than angelic steel.) The entire point here is to contrast the happy, skipping girl claiming that there’s a “warm, fuzzy feeling” in the air with the actual environment of unchecked fires and decaying limbs. And yes, that can be amusing. Not necessarily for everyone as humor is highly subjective and dependent on context, but distilling this contrast down to the shock of a polite greeting getting a ���Go fuck yourself!” in response is a kind of entertainment. Especially when Charlie’s reaction adds another layer: for me that’s a very funny—and currently relatable—expression.
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We can potentially make the case that this humor format overstays its welcome, but I personally think the show does a good job of keeping Charlie’s cursing both simple and comparatively rare, so that when she is put into these contrast situations the humor lands better. The best example I can think of in the latter half of the show is Susan. There we get the whiplash of polite, trying-to-get-these-people-to-like-her Charlie reaching a breaking point to become “FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH” Charlie. It’s a moment that builds off of the earlier surprise of the courteous Alastor calling someone an “Ornery old bitch”—while Rosie is trying (and failing) to find a nicer way to phrase this.
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However, as stated above I think the cursing serves more of a purpose than to just be funny for (some) viewers. Beyond those who simply find cursing distasteful, I’ve seen a fair bit of, “This is so stupid. No one even talks like that!” going around.
Except... I do? I talk like that.
See, I like cursing. I was born to former hippie parents and grew up playing MMOs, so cursing was something I became pretty acclimated to. Personally, I’m glad I was because I’m fascinated by language and cursing—for better or worse—is an integral way that many people communicate. I was taught to see cursing not as the Bad Forbidden Thing You Must Never Ever Do, but rather as just another form of expression, something to be used in moderation and under specific circumstances. Once I became an adult I already understood how I wanted to curse and when it was appropriate to do so. People at work are often shocked when I tell them I curse a lot because no, of course I’m not doing that at my job. That isn't considered professional in this space. Among my friends though?
We can sound a lot like the Hazbin crew.
Undoubtedly the most common curse in the show is “fuck” and its variations, which very much tracks with my personal experience among other people who curse. In fact, it’s so ubiquitous that it barely counts as a curse at all in some groups. It’s more of an easy, accepted way to add emphasis. Vaggie’s “What the fuck was that?” about Alastor’s commercial is a perfect example. She’s pissed and simply saying “What was that?” doesn’t carry the same weight, no matter how angry she may sound when she says it. Vox’s long “Fuuuuuuuck” at the end of “Stayed Gone” conveys an emotion you just can’t capture any other way. No dialogue at all would create a fundamentally different experience of Vox’s feelings and another non-cursing response is just gonna hit different. Not necessarily bad, just different.
“I don’t want to go to the party!” “I don’t want to go to the freaking party!” “I don’t want to go to the fucking party!”
The above represents three distinct characters to me and I think Hazbin Hotel gets that. Cursing isn’t thrown around randomly because something something cursing supposedly sells; it’s all linguistically logical. Characters curse when something surprising or bad happens, or when something unexpectedly good happens, when they’re angry, trying to be sexy, or they want to add that emphasis. That’s a lot of different situations where cursing can be useful and when you use “fuck” in your daily life a lot you become pretty desensitized to it. As said, for many it’s barely a curse at all. Which means that when you really want to curse you’ve got to up the ante. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that the two uses of “cunt” I can recall—a word that is generally considered far worse than “fuck” and makes a lot of people understandably uncomfortable—is used by two of the worst characters in moments that are meant to horrify the viewer:
Adam: “Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts / I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months!” Valentino: “When I say you’d better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say...?”
This horror is especially emphasized in Valentino’s scene. The creators know this word is coming up and deliberately build towards it. Angel is currently being abused and has been reminded that Valentino “owns” him. The above question is a part of a trio that Valentino asks (a standard structure in writing), wherein the third option is the outlier/most shocking of the three. The animation leans into that shock, with the music building and Valentino grabbing Angel to pull him close right on the word “cunt.” Perez even puts emphasis there because he knows that this is a significant word that will change our understanding of Valentino.
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Despite having hit Angel multiple times and taunting him with the contract, this is the moment Valentino stops playing the ‘nice’ employer. This is the real him. No more fake compliments and endearments aimed at Charlie, no more fake comfort/intimacy aimed at Angel. That “cunt” conveys a hell of a lot about how Valentino really sees them and when you have a cast of characters who are already cursing on the regular, it takes a word on that level to do that kind of work. If Valentino had said, “get that fucking bitch out of my studio” it wouldn’t have had nearly the same impact because he’s the kind of guy who uses "bitch" even when playing ‘nice.’
Adam’s line from “Hell is Forever” does very similar work. The scene needs a word to align with the horrific reveal that another extermination is just six months away, that conveys Adam’s deep disgust for Charlie’s people, and that still catches the viewer’s attention even though he’s the character (I believe) who curses the most. Here the music drops and Adam is a little closer to speaking than singing; there's this shift because, like with Valentino, our perception of him is shifting. This isn’t just some egotistical idiot who wants to be called “Dick Master,” he’s the leader of an army coming to gleefully kill them. Framing a whole world of people—people Charlie loves—as “cunts” while treating their murder as a holiday that can’t come soon enough creates an, 'Oh shit. This guy is actually a threat' understanding that you can’t quite get with anything else.
On a smaller scale, cursing does other character work throughout the whole show. I watched a number of cursing compilation vids for this meta (that was a trip lol) and again, cursing is not thrown in randomly. Each character has a unique way of cursing that aligns with their personality and motivations:
As said, Adam curses the most in the show which helps sell his truly over-the-top, irreverent personality. Linguistically, the amount he curses also allows for some fun grammatical play. Lines like, “Fucking love putting my name on shit, shit’s the best!” help convey the versatility of cursing.
Also as said, Charlie curses a fair bit but she’s comparatively polite and her cursing tends to be a result of genuinely big emotions—like saying “Crap” when she’s shocked and falls, or “Shit!” when Adam locks her out of the room—rather than sprinkled into her conversations as a modifier. That leaves space to create those moments of amused surprise when Charlie really let’s loose.
Sr Pentious curses even less than Charlie which fits his secretly gooey center. He talks a big game at the start of the show, but he’s actually quite bad at being, well, bad (especially the Amazon version compared to pilot!Pentious). His idea of getting one over on Alastor is ripping a bit of his coat. He loves his Egg Bois and “doesn’t want to live” without them. He has no desire to go into battle without minions/a big machine to hide behind and, of course, he’s the first to be redeemed. He's too much of a secret sweetheart to curse a lot.
Interestingly, Niffty doesn’t seem to curse at all. At least, not enough for me to think of examples off the top of my head. Right now I’m inclined to read that as an extension of her lived experiences/design—the cute 1950’s housewife archetype who is obsessed with keeping things clean doesn’t [gasp!] curse—as well as a way to maintain her legitimate creep factor. As said, cursing is common among the hotel residents and is a way for them to linguistically fit in. Niffty, however, is positioned more as an outsider (despite how much they all obviously love her): she’s actually scary in a way most demons aren’t and despite how weird this whole world is, she stands out as someone no one else can make sense of (even Alastor). If cursing is normal, Niffty is a character who is decidedly positioned as not normal.
Angel curses a fair bit, though his irreverence is conveyed more through innuendos. Angel is great at verbally twisting others’ words (especially Husk’s) to give himself a conversational advantage:
Husk: “Go fuck yourself” Angel: “Only if you watch me~”
Husk: “You’ve come—” Angel: [very loud orgasm noise] Husk: “...to the right place.”
Meanwhile, Husk uses “fuck” plenty, but he’s also one of the few characters who use “bullshit" too. I wouldn’t say there’s anything particularly revealing about that choice, but just giving him a go-to curse that’s otherwise used infrequently helps make his character distinct in a cast of other cursing characters.
Vaggie occasionally curses in Spanish, showing us her heritage if she used to be human, or a distinct knowledge/verbal preference if she’s always been an angel.
Heaven, as the ‘good’ side, doesn’t curse as a general rule, which leaves room for cursing to do more of that silent character work. We’re reminded of the stuffy, overly critical beings she’s dealing with when Charlie receives the combined judgement of the court for saying, “Fuck yeah!” In contrast, we understand just how shocked St. Peter is to see a Morningstar when he lets out an unintentional “Fuck!” The angry vindication of Charlie’s “That’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!” lands harder after multiple scenes of very little cursing, and Lute’s “Some crack-whore who fucked up already? / He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth—” helps set her apart as an exorcist + Adam's second in command: her shocking violence comes through in her word choice too; words that supposedly don't belong in Heaven.
In what’s arguably the funniest line in the whole show, Lucifer undermines his dramatic standoff with Adam by going, “You mess with my daughter and now I’m going to fuck you.” Beyond just cutting the tension, that fits his bumbling, oblivious personality perfectly. Lucifer is crazy powerful and can absolutely wreck Adam. He also has none of the classy intimidation that, say, Alastor displays when he tries to convey that. This is a depressed himbo who makes ducks in his free time and settles on, “Hey, bitch!” when greeting his estranged daughter. Of course he’s going to accidentally turn a threat into a promise of sex.
Which finally brings me to Alastor, someone whose cursing is already understood well by the fandom. He’s characterized as manipulatively courteous, using manners to both hide his true nature and draw attention to his power—’You’re so beneath me I’ll just calmly sip my coffee and politely ask who you are, despite the fact that we've fought multiple times.’ This is a guy who calls people “My dear” and unironically insults them with the phrase “wacky nonsense.” So when he curses you can BET it’s gonna have an impact. It sure did for me. I had to pause the episode after Alastor’s first “Fuck you” because it was so shocking to hear that language from him. And that’s the point! The scene wants that reaction from the audience. The "Fuck you"s visceral anger contrasting the fake laughs he and Lucifer have been giving, the quick-fire exchange that’s suddenly cut short by Alastor’s choice of a direct insult, the fact that he’s officially dropping the polite veneer they’ve both been indulging in and raising the stakes before Charlie intervenes, the loss of the radio filter that otherwise demonstrates his control over a situation... all of it screams, ‘THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER MOMENT.’
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"Fuck you” reveals that, for the first time in the show, Alastor is legitimately threatened by someone. Which makes sense given that, you know, Lucifer is the King of Hell. Cursing for Alastor isn’t normal, so when he does curse it’s going to reveal something about a guy who otherwise is obsessed with being unknowable. Having the King of Hell dismiss him is actually infuriating in a way Sir Pentious’ threats could never be and the exchange kicks off a rivalry that rattles Alastor in ways Vox’s never has. (Side note: is it any wonder people ship them? Character A making control freak Character B feel vulnerable is classic!) It’s no surprise to me than that the one other true curse we get from Alastor is, “I’m about to end your fucking life,” delivered to Adam who, like Lucifer, poses a legitimate threat and does end up beating him. I say “true” curse because calling Susan a “bitch” does similar work for him, but the takeaway is humorous rather than dramatic. It’s funny that the only people who can piss Alastor off enough to curse are the First Man/a powerful exorcist angel threatening his life, the literal King of Hell... and Susan.
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So there’s a lot going on here, more than what many viewers might assume if they approach the show as just “stupid,” needlessly vulgar entertainment. As shown above, I don’t think the cursing is needless, especially given that, well... they’re in Hell. They’re sinners, supposedly the worst that humanity has to offer, so of course they're going to curse a lot. Does cursing mean you’re a bad person? No. Can you craft a hellish world that doesn't rely on cursing to convey a group's immoral nature? Sure.
Does it make sense that a writer would equate a sinful, irreverent cast with linguistic rebellion and would want to convey a certain vibe that, frankly, you just can’t get without dropping an F bomb?
Yeah, I think so. No one has to like that kind of creative decision, but it’s worth acknowledging it as a deliberate choice.
That’s all! Thanks for reading this fucking long post ✌️
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radioisntdead · 1 month
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I have an idea.
Mom susan and daughter are reader
How about the reader tries to introduce her husband to her mother??
Good evening my dear! I wanted to see a Susan and Alastor in-law showdown and I wrote a drabble and then some headcanons, so I hope you don't mind, but if you do just let me know and I can replace Alastor with another requested character or an oc or something,
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The mother in-law
Susan & daughter reader, Alastor x female reader
Warnings!!
Cannibalism, violent elderly, implied Violence AGAINST the elderly in the headcanons mostly, Susan invading boundaries, Alastor gets insulted by Susan, Reader needs a drink, poorly drawn Cat Alastor in a suit, OOC characters, not proofread, does anyone know a replacement for Grammerly??
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Alastor made the most of falling to eternal damnation, seeing it as a new opportunity,
He become an overlord, a cannibal, the feared Radio demon,
It was shocking enough to him that he had met you, and while it did take awhile and a long long friendship he did end up realizing he had feelings for you, a sweetheart of a cannibal, who worked with his dear friend Rosie and asked to court you in the gentlemenly way, with a bouquet of seven roses and a kiss on your hand, He was the happiest lil' deer in all of hell.
He'd take you dancing, you'd do something like reading or taking a nap as he did his radio broadcast, the two of you would go on walks,
It was bliss
Unfortunately or fortunately depending how you look at it, Alastor disappeared for seven years taking you with him, much to the distain of your mother.
During the time away you were wed, it was a small ceremony, only the two of you and the fucked up cat thing that looked strikingly like Alastor you adopted as your witness.
Anyways with the sudden seven year disappearance and marriage, he never got to formally meet his mother in law that you've told him so much about,
So once everything was settled and you got to visit your dear mama a couple of times, you decided to finally introduce them,
Unfortunately they already knew each other.
Oh no.
Alastor wore his best suit, he even put that evil radio cat into a suit, you wore a lovely dress that matched the aesthetics of cannibal town [Or an exact copy of Alastor's regular suit if you wanna give Susan a heart attack]
He walked arm in arm with you to the cannibal town home your mother lived in, and from the moment the door was opened there was only one thought on his mind.
Oh shit it was Susan, you were the daughter of the Ornery old bitch,
How was someone like YOU related to SUSAN??
Were you adopted? You had to be, he refused to believe that old lady had spawned you in any type of way, maybe she picked you up off the street?
Susan grabbed your hand pulling you in and looking over you, not bothering to greet the radio demon beside you,
"Where have you been I thought you died, Why are you with the guy with the shitty haircut that looks like someone went at him with a fucking hedge trimmer"
"Mama I visited you last week,"
Susan questioned immediately as you laughed nervously, barely two seconds in and she had already insulted Alastor,
you look over to Alastor who stood awkwardly in the door way, waiting to be invited in, the cursed cat in a suit standing by him also waiting to be invited in.
"And apparently you already know my Alasto-"
you were cut off swiftly by Susan squinting at Alastor
"You married the fucking embodiment of red-40?"
Alastor blinked, "Excuse me?"
"You're excused." Susan moved to shut the door in Alastor's face but was stopped by you stopping her
"Ma, please, Alastor come on in"
You said gesturing for your husband and the thing to enter, Susan scoffed mumbling about something as she turned around and sped into the kitchen.
Alastor leaned into you, hooking his arm with yours as the messed up cat clone moved around immediately crawling upon Susan's rocking chair.
"My dear it's not too late to leave and dine elsewhere''
"Alastor please, It's just one dinner with my Ma''
"Who's an ornery old-"
"ALASTOR."
It's a very very awkward dinner, Alastor tried to compliment Susan's meatloaf? He got bullied, you did step in to shut that behavior down but that didn't do much, Alastor tried to help wash the dishes after supper? Susan stood over him watching as he washed every plate and each piece of cutlery, judging him.
Susan did not fear the overlord, and you were concerned.
After dinner was finished and dessert was eaten Susan stared both you and Alastor down as you sat on her couch.
"How long have you been married?"
"Six years."
"Where are my grandchildren then?!"
You hold up the mini Alastor, it's tail wagged slowly as Susan looked upon it with a look of disapproval,
"That's a shitty looking rat, is your husband dysfunctional?"
"Ma, can you not- NO, Alastor put away the tentacles she will RIP THEM OFF-''
AND HEADCANON TIME BECAUSE I am not the best at writing action.
You poor soul.
They can't kill each other because you exist,
It's like stopping two toddlers from fighting except one's well over a century old and your married to the other one,
You're an unpaid babysitter I'm so sorry
Alastor was raised to respect woman and the elderly but he is very close to attacking Susan
He can't do much because he doesn't want to get into trouble with Rosie because attacking one of her cannibals no matter who it is, was a whole can of worms he rather not open, and also she was unfortunately your mother,
He's questioning that, like after this dinner expect him to sit you down and just start throwing questions, like how?
He liked Susan's meatloaf well enough, he could live without it though,
Susan runs into him randomly on the street? She asks if she has a grandchild yet, no? He's getting attacked with the cane and asked if he cannot perform properly Violence on the ace deer
She tries to convince you to leave him and tried introducing you to a random cannibal she pulled off the street, but she stopped after you got upset at her.
Assuming you live at the Hazbin hotel with Alastor Susan visits, she somehow got a key to the room you and Alastor shared so you could be sleeping and Susan pops in swinging her cane, dropping lore
Alastor lives in mild fear, he's changed the locks, he's put Niffty outside the door as security,
Susan always GETS IN.
You have boundaries with her but she breaks them and your working on getting her to stop,
It becomes a hotel wide situation of getting Susan to not break in
She oddly enough likes Angel dust and you use him as a distraction whenever she appears without warning,
You owe Angel several favors.
You are in debt.
Susan eventually grows a fondness for the freak grandchild, she gets clothes, dresses him up and calls him sonny,
Alastor's not the most pleased but it's better then getting asked if he suffers from certain conditions
They sometimes fight over your time, like he's taking you out on a date and Susan pops in and drags whisks you away for tea or something,
They can't do much aside from verbal Insults and glares, but they did get into a physical fight, Alastor got hit with a chair, Susan almost got eaten, Alastor sent Niffty on her and she almost got stabbed
You threatened to tell Rosie and they both stopped, thankfully
Susan keeps divorce papers on hand just in case you ever change your mind, she's not afraid to attack an overlord, this woman is down below for a reason and she is FERAL.
If she catches Alastor chompin' down on your arm he's getting whooped with a cane and the both of you are getting a full lecture on if he's doing anything he's not supposed too, and if he is, he needs to go.
Alastor is very adamant that he would never intentionally harm you apparently the BITING DOESN'T COUNT AS HARM???
Dude has a fear of becoming like his father.
They have issues but they agree on things like this,
There's eventually a group meeting about Susan breaking into the hotel and while she's welcome she needs to stop popping in at late hours of the night or at the crack of dawn,
There's a Susan security system set up now.
Susan's never going to fully approve because you'll always be that small child she found on the side of the streets long ago to her and no man, woman or whatever is going to be good enough for her little girl, but she'll put up with it, she knows that while Alastor isn't the best person it could be worse.
She eventually respects your boundaries, yay!
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Good evening folks! Thank you for tuning in! I hope you liked whatever this was, I'm slowly working though requests! Now it's 3 am and I'm tired, goodnight! Have a cursed cat Alastor in a suit that I drew with my fingers
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He looks like a tatortot
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demonicchicken1121 · 3 months
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Alastor, Rosie, and Cannibal Town: an Analysis (I’m fucking at it (Alastor Posting) again)
Ok I know that a lot of people have already been talking about this, but I really want to analyze Alastors behavior in cannibal town and how it’s so much different than how he behaves literally anywhere else.
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Alastors true motives, personality, opinions, etc are widely debated in the fandom. Does he actually care about Charlie or the hotel? What’s his beef with Lucifer? Why did he make a deal and who was it with? Al is such a mysterious and closed off character, and his demeanor changes so frequently that no one in or out of universe really knows much about him. I personally think that the closest we get to seeing Alastor in his truest and most authentic self is when he’s in cannibal town.
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From the moment they arrive, Alastors demeanor changes dramatically, even from a few moments before, when Charlie was venting about her relationship issues. He seems genuinely excited to be there and see Rosie, to the point where he seems to forget he brought Charlie here for a reason (hell I think he forgets Charlie is even there at a few points.)
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Al and Rosie HAVE seen each other since he returned to hell, at the overlord meeting, but they didn’t really have the time to interact. Even so, they are so in tune with each other. This man was gone for seven years and here they are gaslight gatekeep girlbossing like nothing happened.
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But once they actually have the opportunity to interact outside of the overlord meeting they’re super excited to catch up. The only other time he shows this much enthusiasm to see someone is with Mimzy, but things quickly goes south when she puts the hotel is danger. Alastors friendship with mimzy feels very onesided, and it seems that she only shows up when she needs something. While Alastor and Rosie clearly ask each other for favors, it feels a lot more equal in a way where they each get an equal amount of benefit.
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And while we haven’t seen much of them yet, I get the vibe that they hang out in their free time and respect each others boundaries and schedules. I think Al went through cannibal town hoping to see her in the prequel comic, but figured she was busy after the extermination and instead asked some of the residents to say hello on his behalf. But that’s just a theory, a gam-
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Also just a little thing I noticed, when rosie is joking about Charlie being too young for Alastor, Charlie looks visibly annoyed, but Alastors body language and expression don’t change. He tends to react relatively strongly when anyone (Angel) makes a move on him or assumes he’s dating anyone, but I think he knows Rosie well enough to know she’s joking.
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Alastor lets his guard down so much in this part of the episode. He’s really in his element and his behavior seems so natural and genuine.
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I love how he’s so willing to just roast Susan. Every iconic duo has that one person they fucking hate and will not be subtle about how much they fucking hate them. It’s especially funny with alastor, who’s usually really pretentious and passive aggressive when he insults someone, but with Susan it’s just
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“✨Ornery old bitch?✨” also this is the only time in the entire series that alastor swears in a genuinely humorous way. In almost every other example, he is trying to intimidate someone or piss them off, and also when his staff was broken.
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And speaking of his staff, I think it was actually a big deal that Alastor let Charlie use it, even tho it was for a very short time. This does show that whether or not he actually cares about her, Alastor does have a certain amount of trust and respect for Charlie. Despite that, I don’t think he would have done this if he wasn’t in cannibal town and with Rosie. The staff is clearly very important to him and likely holds some amount of his power, given how he reacted when it was broken.
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As weird as this sentence is out of context, I think Alastor feels very safe in cannibal down. Rosie and probably the other cannibals genuinely like and respect him. it speaks volumes that not only he let Charlie use his staff, but he put himself in the position that would leave him vulnerable to Rosie if Charlie were to turn on him. While he knows it’s highly unlikely that would happen, I think it’s still worth noting that he intentionally left himself in such a vulnerable position in cannibal town and nowhere else.
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Something else interesting I noticed, is that “ready for this” is one of the only songs that Alastor is interacting with another character, and isn’t competing for the spotlight. He is walking all over Vox in “stayed gone”, and getting walked all over by Lucifer in “Hells greatest dad”, but here, he’s very in tune with everyone else. He and Rosie are on equal footing and he feels secure enough to fade into the background a bit, harmonizing with the cannibals and letting Charlie take the lead.
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So yeah, I feel like Cannibal town is alastors home in hell. His relationship with Rosie is probably the most positive relationship he has in the whole show. I think viv has mentioned that Alastor wasn’t a cannibal before he died, and I’m not sure if that’s still canon, but if it is, I can definitely see him becoming a cannibal when he became friends with Rosie. I can also see Rosie being one of his first friends in hell, maybe they even rose to power together. I’m clearly getting into some more speculative headcanons because I do what I want, but I’m putting them in their own section.
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Now for headcanons with little to no substantial evidence ✨✨✨
I do actually really like the idea that they became friends very quickly and rose to power together. I like the idea that they were friends before Alastor became this super powerful force in hell. It also makes sense that he would trust someone who wanted to be his friend back when people weren’t constantly asking for favors or testing his power. Bc I do think that there was a short period of time between him arriving in hell and rising to power. (I have a lot of ideas about how he got his powers which probably will get its own post, but to brief, he wasn’t super powerful when he arrived in hell.) it makes sense that him and Rosie would have become friends in that period.
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When he did start rising to power, I think Rosie would have guided him, given that he was a relatively new sinner. She would help him find overlords to target, possibly even letting him recruit cannibals to help him take them down. After he was finished broadcasting their screams, he would return their bodies to Rosie for her to sell. Maybe any cannibals who helped him would get discounts or first pickings.
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This makes sense to me bc not only would it help explain why Alastor has never seen Rosie as a rival or a target, but also it would help explain why they’re so close. Nothing builds a friendship better than overthrowing incredible forces of power. Also they totally square dance on the weekends.
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Viv please I need an episode that’s nothing but these two dicking around in cannibal town for twenty minutes.
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bimobuddy · 2 months
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Just Eat You Up
SFW Hazbin Tickle Fic
Lee!Alastor, Ler!Rosie
Queerplatonic shipping
It's gonna sound OOC for Alastor, but I like to believe he's only this soft and vulnerable around Rosie ( platonic wife)
Summary: Alastor and Rosie find themselves up talking and sharing a moment, when Rosie accidentally gets a bit too close. Having all the patience in the world for her, Alastor endures.
When he wasn't staying at the Hotel, he stayed with Rosie. She didn't mind, quite the opposite actually, she loved it when Alastor was over. She even had a room for him next to hers.
While he was over this night, he leaned against the kitchen counter, a cup of tea in hand while he just smiled and watched his platonic partner pace around the room ranting.
"- and you know I love all my citizens, but Susan, ugh, I just don't understand what her deal is. It's like she gets enjoyment out of disagreeing with everyone in town. You get what I mean, right, Al?" She asked, finally leaning against the counter herself, grabbing her own cup. She frowned a little when she saw that it was empty, which prompted Alastor to give her his cup.
"Of course I do, like I said, she's an ornery old bitch." He said, adding a little more sass to his tone than usual, knowing it amused Rosie, earning a light laugh from her.
She meant to just playfully smack his arm but as he started to stand up more, her hand grazed his side instead, causing him to arch away. Absolutely delighted, Rosie set the cup of tea down. "Oh I forgot you were ticklish, Alastor!" She said.
Alastor turned to back away from her, his hands up in defense. "Now, darling, really there's no need to-" he stepped back quickly to narrowly avoid her hands, "R-Rosie, dear, wait a minute!" His ears shot straight up in alarm as he suddenly backed into the counter. "Why would I wait, Al, it's not often I hear a real genuine laugh from ya, it's always that rehearsed show-host laugh of yours." She said, pushing past his out stretched arms to lightly skitter up his sides.
With anyone else, he might have killed them, but this was Rosie. Clearly his only option was just to be patient and let it happen. Not that he was completely against it anyway.
Alastor felt her slip her hands under his jacket to scritch at his sides through his shirt. His grin widened as he used the counter to support himself, chuckles spilling out freely. "Roho- Rohohose, plehehease-" "Don't try to sweet talk out of this by using a nickname, Ally~" She grinned, pinching his lowest two ribs.
His cheeks flushed at the name as he loosely grabbed her wrists, giggling harder as her fingers danced up his ribcage. As Rosie gently dug into his underarms, Alastor's knees gave out and he sank to the floor, laughing.
Spotting rapid movement out of the corner if her eye, she noticed his tail was wagging. She grinned with a gasp. "Aw! Alastor, are you enjoying this, you sweet thing?" She asked, her hands finding their way up to his ears, gently scritching there. There was a soft crack of radio static before his laughs softened up into giggles. He shut his eyes to avoid answering. But Rosie knew better.
She started to softly scritch under his chin, making his cheeks flush a brighter shade of pink and his tail wag faster, something she knew only she was allowed to witness. He seemed to melt right there, eyes closed, grin softened into a smile, as he giggled quietly and leaned into the affectionate touch.
Rosie found it incredibly endearing. She added her second hand, scratching both sides under his jaw, watching as his ear started to flick and he relaxed even further. She took a moment to just watch him like this for a moment more, before she suddenly reached down and slipped her hands under his shirt to scribble at his bare tummy.
Alastor's eyes snapped open as he was almost startled out of this calming and affectionate state. He tossed his head back and laughed, trying to simultaneously curl up and move away, resulting in him sort of just falling over onto his side, then curling up on the floor.
"Hahahahahaha! Rohohosie plehehehease!"
"Look at youuu~! Such a widely feared and respected demon curled up into a little tiny ball in my kitchen! I got you, Alastor~! Got you got you got you~!" She teased, spidering around his tummy, adding a soft scritch with each 'got you.'
Alastor was flustered beyond belief, his ears pinned back as he laughed and gently tried to grab her hands. She suddenly grinned the most evil smile he's seen on his cannibal friend in a while. "Alastor, you should see how cute you are right now.. I could just eat you up." She lifted his shirt just a little bit and leaned down to blow a raspberry into his tummy.
"HAHAHAHAHA! ROHOHOSE!" He cackled, his legs kicking at the floor while he clenched his hands into fists to keep himself from pushing her away. Before he could ask again, Rosie had stopped, letting her friend to just lay there and catch his breath.
Once he sat up, he pointed a finger at her. "Evil, rude, cruel, and-" She just leaned in and kissed the top of his head, silencing him. "And don't you forget it." She replied getting up. She offered her hands, and helped him up as well, fixing his bowtie for him.
"Goodness, you're a mess, Al. Such a squirmer." she teased, even reaching up to fix his hair, which he allowed, finding it to be nice and affectionate. "I wouldn't be such a mess if someone hadn't just assaulted me." He said with a light chuckle.
Rosie ignored his response with a wave of her hand. "Oh you're fiiine." He tilted his head. "Maybe I should get you back then, if it's no big deal." He teased, with a gentle squeeze to her waist.
She jumped and grabbed his wrist. "I'd like to see you try."
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anonymousewrites · 1 month
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Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Eleven
Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader
Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader
Chapter Eleven: Convincing through Son
Summary: Charlie attempts to convince Cannibal Town to follow her into battle.
            Rosie lifted a megaphone and marched right outside to give Cannibal Town her announcement. She had Charlie and (Y/N) under her arms and was quite pleased to be bringing her guests around her territory. Alastor walked behind, pleased with how his plans were turning out.
            “Cannibals and cannibettes!” called Rosie. “Assemble in the square!” She looked at Charlie. “Now, darling, you know I would do anything, anything for my clients, but I can’t exactly command all of Cannibal Town to follow someone else into battle.”
            At least she’s respectful, thought (Y/N).
            “Now, don’t get me wrong, they love carnage and bloodshed, but to get this group in line, you got to win ‘em over.” She spoke through her megaphone again as they arrived at the square. “Settle in!” The crowd had gathered. “Settle in! Important meeting.”
            Charlie cringed. “But how do I—”
            “With sparkle! Razzmatazz!” declared Rosie, and (Y/N) decided they liked her even more now. “And that oh-so-appealing moxie of yours.”
            “Shouldn’t be a problem!” said Alastor. He grinned at Charlie. “It’s not like you’ve ever failed to inspire before.”
            “You can do it, Charlie,” said (Y/N) encouragingly as they walked onto the dais.
            Charlie groaned anxiously.
            “But fair warning, this group sticks together,” said Rosie. “So in order to convince any of them, you’ll have to convince all of them.”
            “Yikes,” said (Y/N).
            Rosie huffed. “And there’s one in particular—”
            “Ugh, Susan,” said Alastor, rolling his eyes.
            “Susan,” agreed Rosie. “Who’s a bit of an, uh…” She considered.
            “Ornery old bitch?” suggested Alastor cheerfully.
            “That!” said Rosie. She leaned down to Charlie. “She’s tough, but win her over and the rest will be easy as pie.”
            “You’ve got this,” said (Y/N), giving Charlie a thumbs-up.
            “Ready?” said Rosie.
            “I guess…” said Charlie.
            “Everyone, we have a very special, very royal guest this evening!” announced Rosie. “Please put your bloody hands together for Princess Charlie!”
            She waved awkwardly from the microphone.
            Instantly, a cranky voice rang out. “Boo! Bring Rosie back!” The crowd parted to reveal an old cannibal in furs waving a walking stick around.
            “Susan?” said (Y/N), looking at Alastor and Rosie.
            “Susan,” they said simultaneously.
            Charlie coughed and accidentally hit the microphone. The feedback squealed, and the crowd cringed.
            “Sorry! Uh, okay,” said Charlie, stumbling over her words. “Uh, my name’s Charlie, and—”
            “Boo!” heckled Susan.
            “Well, I run this hotel with my partn—”
            “Get off the stage you blue-blood bitch!”
            “—well, someone, and—”
            “Boo!”
            “Wait, let me start over.”
            “We don’t give a shit about some hotel.”
            “Angels are coming to kill us all, and we need help defending our realm.”
            “Leave before I eat those big-ass eyes of yours!”
            “So, we, uh, we need your help—”
            “Boo! Get off.”
            This really isn’t going well, thought (Y/N), wincing at how awkward the situation was.
            “With your assistance, we can make a stand for—” tried Charlie.
            “Where’s the showmanship?” sneered Susan.
            “I…I have a dream!” Charlie tried to sing.
            “Where all the finesse? Fucking mediocre.”
            “Fuck you! You old bitch!” Charlie snapped and gave Susan the finger.
            The crowd gasped.
            “Okay!” Rosie rushed up to salvage the situation. She took Charlie by the shoulders and guided her away. “We’ll be back after a brief intermission.”
            “Well, I think that went well,” said Alastor, grinning.
            “For you, yeah, because you got entertainment,” said (Y/N), smiling.
            “Precisely!” said Alastor.
            “Do you think Charlie can convince them all to follow her?” said (Y/N), looking out over the crowd of cannibals.
            “If she can entertain them enough,” said Alastor. “And Charlie is always quite amusing.”
            “I hope it works. I think if we have numbers, we have a chance against the angels.” (Y/N) narrowed their eyes. “And I really want a chance to fight the angels. I don’t like them.”
            “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of chances to kill them to your hearts content,” said Alastor, grinning widely. “Just make sure to practice defense techniques with your magic. We can’t have you getting killed, can we?”
            “I’d rather not,” laughed (Y/N), and Alastor smiled. (Y/N) looked at him. “And make sure to take care of yourself, too.”
            Alastor laughed. “I am the Radio Demon. It will take more than some angels to harm me.”
            “You’re strong, yeah,” said (Y/N). “But, still, I don’t want you to die.”
            Alastor’s smile froze, and he cocked his head. Instead of getting a reply, though, Rosie and Charlie returned to the square before more could be said.
            “You can do this,” said Rosie gently.
            Charlie looked at her nervously. Alastor held out his microphone, and Charlie’s eyes widened. (Y/N) nodded encouragingly, and Charlie squared her shoulders, holding the staff in front of her. She took a deep breath and began to sing.
(Charlie) “Have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it?
            “You mean like human flesh?” piped up Susan.
            “Eugh, sort of,” said Charlie, smiling awkwardly.
(Charlie) “It’s a feeling like a rumbling in your gut that you could finally be faced with a billion needy faces, I guess what I mean to say is For the first time in my life, I might have to be ready for this.”
            She glanced at the others. Rosie clapped and smiled, Alastor gave a thumbs-up, and (Y/N) nodded and grinned. Charlie’s confidence surged.
(Charlie) “Ready to be the one who’s leading from the front, Gotta come into my own, Gotta come into my throne~ Gotta take charge and defend my only home, And although I kinda feel unsteady, Now I need to be ready for this.”
            She stepped down from the dais and walked among the people of Cannibal Town.
(Charlie) “Have you ever felt like you’re willing to die to save the people of your city?”
            “By ‘die to do’ you mean use my teeth to rip flesh apart?” asked Susan.
            “That’s a start!” said Charlie, deciding to let Susan have her fun.
(Charlie) “’Cause right now we need a leader, And it seems to me that Destiny has picked me to be that, If you’ll permit me. So who’s with me?”
            She spun around and grinned.
(Charlie) “Wouldn’t it be super to see more of Hell? Join up now if you like travel, Come on boys hope in the saddle, Lotta sights to see en route to my hotel, Not to mention the camaraderie, Yes, siree, you’ll form life-changing friendships With folks along the way!” (Alastor) “And feast on all the angels you can eat!” (Charlie) “Okay…”
            However, the incentive of food instantly piqued the attention of the crowd. The cannibals were excited, eager to get a taste of the exorcists that had plagued them for so long.
(Cannibals) “It’s time now to act, They’re on the attack! When they move to strike, We will fight biting back!”
            Charlie had done it. Alastor took back his microphone, and Rosie placed her own staff with a skull-head in Charlie’s hand to lead the cannibals.
(Cannibals) “We’ll follow your lead, We’re eager to feed, We’ll sharpen our teeth for the heavenly feast, From this moment on, you can count on us, To be resolute and ravenous! Our appetites are whet, and we’re set to seize the day, So I say, ‘Oh, hey!’ come join the flesh buffet!” (Charlie) “Well, that’s a little violent, Can we tone it down?” (Rosie) “Oh, don’t be put off by their snarlin’ That’s enthusiasm, darlin’!”
            Charlie looked out over the ravenous cannibals as they retrieved weapons and grinned widely.
(Charlie) “Eh, they just seem a little murder-y right now.” (Rosie) “Don’t worry, honey, that’s their thing, Keep singing.” (Charlie and Rosie) “We’re super-duper grateful to have you aboard!” (Cannibals) “We can’t wait to taste an angel’s wings!” (Charlie) “Oh, lord.”
            The crowd grabbed her and supported her above their shoulders, and Charlie looked out proudly, hands on her hips.
(Charlie) “For the first time in my life, Maybe I can be ready for this, I can be the marshal leading the parade, I can come into my own, And I think I’ve always known, My destiny could never be postponed! When Adam brings the battle here, I must appear Like I’m ready for this!”
            Rosie, Alastor, and (Y/N) grinned as they watched.
(Rosie) “They’re dancing along, They’re singing her song!”
            She spun (Y/N) around.
(Alastor) “Surprised, why, I knew she could do it all along!”
            He spun (Y/N) around, and they laughed.
((Y/N)) “She’s bound to pass the test as Princess of Hell!” ((Y/N), Alastor, Rosie) “Like her daddy, she is madly power-fell!”
            Alastor spun Rosie around, and she grinned and held (Y/N)’s hands, swinging them up.
(Alastor) “She’s filled with potential that I could guide!”
            Rosie grabbed him and (Y/N) and pulled them close.
(Rosie) “I concur!” (Rosie, Alastor, (Y/N)) “Stick with her, You’ll be on the winning side!” (All) “For the first time in our lives, We know that we are ready for this!” (Rosie) “We’ll show Heaven a fight they won’t forget!” (All) “It’s to take a stand!” (Charlie) “It’s time to lend a hand!”
            “Huzzah!” shouted the crowd.
(All) “Against all the angels and their deadly threat! We cannot take it anymore, The time has come to go to war, Prepare to fight, we’re ready for thiiiiis!” (Charlie) “I really hope that I’m ready for this.”
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