#and before anyone even goes there this has nothing to do with callum this is not ABOUT callum or his sls or screentime or any of that

[ccieatchildren]

OKAY BUT THE CALLUM WHUMP IN THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 5!!!

Specifically S5 E8.

First, just him being locked away in the captain’s cabin, isolated and tortured by Finnegrin for the dark magic info.

And him absolutely refusing to reveal anything right now, laughing at Finnegrin for what he sees as a hypocritical thought process, because it would go against his morals and he doesn’t want to give Finnegrin the ability to kill Domina Profundis.

Finnegrin taunting him about his dark magic usage, typical villain spiel of asking if Callum has never thought about it or wanted/needed to use it. Learning that Callum has studied it extensively (and though Callum points out that he has also studied the other types, his curiosity always seems to get the better of him) and has once used it, to save his friends. Finnegrin taking this information in and twisting it on the boy. The defeated way Callum gets pushed out by Finnegrin, seeing all his friends chained up and having to make a “decision” for Finnegrin.

Finnegrin forcing Callum to choose one of his friends' hand to cut off. Not being able to choose anyone, and the gang standing up for each other, offering their own hands. Preaching the love and friendship deal, only to peeve off Finnegrin even more, who tries to goad Callum into using dark magic once again. You can see the way he actually thinks about it, the guilt in his eyes but also the determination to save his friends. Only for Rayla to escape, making sure to take any option for dark magic out of Callum's hands. I believe if Rayla hadn't intervened, Callum would've eventually gone through with it, as the main thing holding him back was said guilt and own mental blockage. Finnegrin then freezing Rayla's blood, putting her in excruciating pain, and Callum, doing a full 180, goes batshite over Rayla being tortured, decking Finnegrin full force in the face. He is calm when faced with his own pain, but when someone he loves is hurt, especially due to his inability to do anything, he immediately loses his temper.

However, this small win ends them back up at square one, with Callum tied up and at the captain's mercy. When Finnegrin tells him that he's gonna feed Rayla to the leviathan, and Callum can't do anything, he immediately gives up the info, thinking that would save her. Only for Finnegrin to turn around and go "nuh-uh," completely destroying him.

He can't even save the person he loves. Callum may have primal magic (one or two of the arcanum depending on how you want to look at it), but he still can't do anything; he is completely useless in this moment. Realizing this, all hope drains out of him, and he does the only thing he can think of, spill the beans. He begins to break his principles by telling Finnegrin the dark magic spell (one of the darkest spells at that), in hopes of him releasing Rayla, only for it to backfire and be completely for nothing. Now, not only can he not save Rayla, but now Finnegrin can kill Domina Profundis. The guilt weighs even harder on him, he has essentially doomed everyone.

Then, Callum gets out, stands up to Finnegrin, using his own arcanum against him, gaining said arcanum at the same time (also, I just really love how he figured it out, using Finnegrin's words against him, and the idea behind the ocean arcanum is just very fun, I just really liked this moment), and save his homies.

So, everything turns out fine, right? Nope!

Callum had to use dark magic to get out, preforming the same snake chain spell he had before on his restraints. When he was all out of options, Callum always reverts back to what he knows, even if it might break his morals. And while this action is totally justifiable, as he basically had to, Callum doesn't really seem to see it that way. Despite knowing that there are parts of himself he can't understand, he still is riddled with grief over it. The deep pain and guilt on his face as he hugs Rayla, not telling her or anyone else what he had to do to get out, shows us that he believes he had committed a grave sin. In his eyes, he is just as bad as Viren and Claudia, and he is still dealing with the PTSD of being possessed by Aaravos, of having the chance to turn completely to the dark side. This paranoia and anxiety makes him keep everything to himself. He doesn't think they would understand or forgive him, and he doesn't think they should, as he doesn't really either.

The ocean arcanum also gives us a look into Callum. He states himself about how it is accepting the hidden depths in oneself, even if you may not truly understand it. Callum's ability and willingness to do dark magic at times is part of those deeper depths. He doesn't truly understand it yet, and may never will, but, like any other human, there are many paths for him to follow. I do not think he is truly evil, or what he has done is irredeemable, but I believe that Callum, like all of us, is neither truly good or bad, but chooses where he takes himself (we also see this with Viren throughout the season). He could become someone filled with light and kindness, a "do-gooder" if you will, which is what I believe he wants to be, but he could also lead himself down a much darker path if he isn't careful, placing himself among the ranks of Aaravos, Viren, and Finnegrin, or he could be someone who carefully struts the line in the middle. The point is that it is up to him. Though he has become in tune with the ocean arcanum and those "hidden depths," him not accurately understanding his potential for darkness could usher him into a much more disastrous existence. Hopefully linking with the ocean arcanum will allow him to slowly accept these parts of himself and find a true balance between dark and primal magic, whatever that balance may be.

(Also the implications of him being the one in the intro rather than Viren...)

All in all, this whole episode was just very whump (even in the B plot somewhat). Callum and Finnegrin were very much whumpee and whumper -coded and you can't convince me otherwise.

The emotions in this episode for the main gang were top-notch. Watching what each character did to try to help themselves and their friends, and seeing the physical and emotional consequences of their actions (whether positive or negative) was amazing. Not just with Callum, but also the others (Ezran instantly offering himself up again and again, practically begging; Rayla breaking herself out to try and save Callum, only to be quickly and severely subdued; and Soren continuously taking the hits to help Elmer find his own worth, saving the gang in the process), was very well done.

ABSOLUTELY SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS!

I hope we get more moments like this in future seasons.

#☡ #the dragon prince #the dragon prince: mystery of aaravos #callum #callum tdp #rayla #rayllum #whump #whumper #whumpee #finnegrin #tdp s5 #tdp spoilers #whumblr #does this make yall realize how much i love and have hyperfixated over this episode #my analysis #also loved the many rayllum moments in this ep #very nice

[stylespresleyhearted]

what’s the secret project you posted 👀

oh gosh i keep meaning to answer this and then i keep forgetting or pushing it back for reasons unknown to me i think im just unaccustomed to having any asks lol but anyways this is something that actually started because of a certain thing me and marina yell about when it comes to austin and then as our love for callum grew it came to something else grand and beautiful. now it’s only something that has been discussed in the chat, it has no doc or nothing official to it, it may never even come to fruition (marina is already gifting us with so much goodness in the fic worlds she dabbles in)

but i will share some of it and feel free to come further talk about it if it interests you 😘

Warnings: nsfw below the cut, open relationship, threesome, guy x guy, guy x guy x girl

So we’re all aware of how Austin put his blood, sweat, tears, and soul into his Elvis role. This man gave it his all and I’m truly so grateful to him for it because in my opinion (and most importantly in Lisa Marie’s opinion) he did Elvis Presley justice.

• Bree is a famous and highly esteemed guitarist, singer, and lyricist. She’s won multiple Grammies and written for and with Lana Del Rey, Arctic Monkeys, etc., that’s more her vibe. Baz hires her on during the making of Elvis movie so she could help him modernize the soundtrack and help with the choosing of songs. Maybe she’s even there when Austin gathers all the people from the record label and has them ridicule Austin after his first run through.

• But she’s there before filming and she’s there during filming and her and Austin even shack up together for a while during the first COVID lockdown, spending time with him in his apartment and staying up at all hours of the night to help him get certain scenes right. The bed sheets are tangled, kisses are shared, breakfast is eaten in bed not in the kitchen and there are multiple walks on the beach taken together.

• Bree tries her best to be there for him through all of it. She can sense he’s about to sky rocket and rightfully so, she doesn’t think anyone around can currently measure for his talent. She tries to be a soundboard and a friend and a girlfriend of sorts and a co worker and he’s got her playing all these different roles to keep up with him but keep in mind he never asked her to do any of that. She’s doing it because she loves him, maybe she isn’t in love with him or if she is she isn’t aware of it yet but she does love and care for him.

• And he’s going through his shit. He isn’t sure where Austin begins and Elvis ends and he isn’t in the headspace for a relationship, especially with Bree who deserves the world so when he’s sick as a dog and bed ridden before heading to London he makes sure to have the conversation with her. They were never official. Never went public or had rumors swirl. It’s better to end it on a good note and leave it how it is.

• So consider his surprise when a few months into filming MOTA, Bree shows up on Callum’s arm being introduced as his girlfriend. It’s supposed to be a lads night and Barry dragged him out and now someone who he calls one of his closest friends is introducing Bree as his current girlfriend. A close friend who he goes on walks in the parks with, who places kisses on his cheek after a few drinks, who places his hand on the small of Austin’s back when he approaches him, who pinches his cheeks and welcomed him with open arms. Dating someone who was there at his worst and gave him her heart and stayed up entire nights talking him down when his anxiety was too high and made him do self care when he forgot he was supposed to be his own person.

• and see, Callum and Bree are both Brits so they run in semi same circles and they knew of each other and were friends but Callum was with Vanessa Kirby and they were in love and for a while Bree was with Alex Turner and them afterwards there was Austin. So Callum and Bree were already friends and when they run into each other at a record shop and then head to lunch after and maybe Callum gave her a kiss goodbye when they went separate ways - it all just grew from there.

• so maybe Austin feels a green jealous monster growing inside his chest but who he’s jealous of he’s unsure and a larger part of him is actually happy for both of them. They’re good people, they love each other and both deserve each other.

• they’re suddenly everywhere. She accompanies Callum on set and it’s clear to everyone how in love they are and one time when they’re filming the POW scenes and everyone’s on lunch Austin is looking for peace and quiet so he wanders into their “bunks” but there right in front of him - Callum holding Bree up against the wood panel walls, pounding into her as she moans his name so prettily, his sheepskin jacket still on and making him sweaty. Callum’s eyes open and he catches Austin walking, Austin who trips over his own feet to back away but Callum just smiles and winks at him.

• and later Callum approaches Austin with a high five and a cheeky, “see how good I was giving it to her, mate?”

• and fuck, Austin gets hard thinking about it. Gets hard thinking about Bree’s moans and Callum’s grunt and his sweat and her breasts bouncing against his chest.

• then filming wraps and Austin’s free of them. Doesn’t have to be in there presence every day anymore and he meets someone, a nepo baby who’s beautiful and kind and he’s in a place where he feels he can be with someone so he goes for it and he falls in love.

• and MOTA press isn’t until 2024 so it’s two years of only a handful of run ins with them but then press starts and news break: Callum and Bree are engaged. And the entire cast and crew are happy and they all celebrate.

• She didn’t join Elvis press because she was touring.

• so now Austin is around his engaged friends and he has mixed feelings regarding both of them. See he’s happy and he loves his girlfriend and his career is good but if he’s being honest something is missing and when he wants to torture himself he admits he knows exactly what it is. And he’s doing interviews and Bree is backstage and Callum’s always so touchy and so kind in his words in regard to Austin and one day Callum admits Bree told him what went down between Bree and Austin and Callum’s a confident guy, he assures Austin it’s all fine.

• But maybe it’s the first screening of MOTA, and Callum and Bree are tired of Austin’s sad puppy dog eyes every time they catch him watching them so Bree corners Austin backstage. Gets close and starts palming him through his pants, assuring him Callum wouldn’t mind, in fact Callum has been purposely teasing Austin during interviews trying to get him to cave.

• Callum and Bree both decided if they all wanted it how could it be wrong? Why not go for it?

• And Bree’s falling to her knees and taking Austin in her mouth, pretty pouty lips wrapped around him as she takes him all the way in and suddenly Callum is there, watching them, talking her through it.

• “Isn’t she phenomenal, mate? Had to work with her to get rid of that gag reflex and now she can deep throat me.”

• and Callum waits until Austin mewls his name and calls him over, begging him to be a part of this somehow, to please hold him. So Callum is joining them, Bree so pretty on her knees between them and Callum is flicking Austin’s nipple and letting Austin let his moans out in his neck.

That’s all we have more to come soon if ya’ll wish 🌚

• oh yeah there’s a scene where Bree holds Austin’s hand the first time Callum fucks him because she’s aware of the pain of how large Callum is.

@precious-little-scoundrel

#callum turner #austin butler #callum x austin #callum turner fanfiction #austin butler fanfiction #callum turner fanfic #austin butler fanfic #callum turner smut #austin butler smut #*made by me #return to sender 💌 #blurbs #austin x callum #mota fanfic #callum turner x reader #austin butler x reader #callum turner x austin butler #illicit affairs 💫

[raayllum]

Kpp’Ar doesn’t know what to make of the boy, at first. He’s heard of him of course — even this far near the Del Barian border of Katolis, gossip travels fast. In the four months since the war ended scarcely anyone has spoken of anything other than how — the boy king, his mage brother, the strangely absent Moonshadow elf turned ally. Kpp’Ar leaves wooden cabin once every two weeks to go to the marketplaces, and it’s enough to know that his former student’s reign was disastrously short-lived and violent. 

But no matter. He washed his hands of Viren’s crimes best he could years ago.

Or so he thought, before the loud knocking at his door.

He never got visitors even when living near inner Katolis in his great big manor, so the fact that someone has trekked all the way up the snowy side of the mountain to the cabin, miles away from anyone else... He opens his door with his cane gripped like a club in one hand, knowing his body isn’t what it used to be, frail from age and dark magic use (however disavowed). 

He doesn’t expect a young man, still a bit baby faced at no older than seventeen at most, surely, brown hair permanently stuck to one side of his head to be on the other side.

“No visitors,” he grouses and goes to shut the door.

The young man catches it with his boot and then his arm, a flash of his red scarf revealing a Katolian seal. “I’m not here to sell you anything,” he says quickly, “or anything like that. I’m here to ask—”

“I don’t do dark magic anymore, there’ll be no miracles here—”

“I don’t need your magic. I have my own. I just need information—about Viren.”

Kpp’Ar pauses. No one here knows who his former pupil is, and this boy is far from old enough to know first hand, so—Kpp’Ar stops trying to close the door. “Who are you?”

“I’m Prince Callum of Katolis,” the boy says. “High mage of my brother’s court.” He forces the opening wider and barrels in before Kpp’Ar can stop him, getting snow and wet boot-prints all over his wooden floor. The old mage can feel a headache coming on. “I’ve been doing research and Soren said you might—”

Soren. Kpp’Ar’s heart thuds dully in his chest. Good to know what Viren had done had been worth something. “What is it that you want to know, boy?”

“Dark magic,” he says. “Is there a spell that can bring someone back from the dead?”

Kpp’Ar recoils, eyes flashing. “That sort of knowledge is not—”

“I don’t want it,” the prince repeats, insisting. “The dead—should stay dead. I just need to know if it exists.”

“And why not ask Claudia?” Kpp’Ar demands. “Last I saw her, she had some of my tomes hidden under her floorboards.”

Callum’s expression hardens with familiarity and fatigue. “Claudia’s gone. She—she turned traitor too. And Viren is dead. I know magic, but I don’t know dark magic—and I don’t want to. I-I need to make sure she couldn’t bring him back.” 

Kpp’Ar had never been the best with people even before he’d become an outright recluse, but he looks at the way the prince carries himself—poised amid the uncertainty, tall under the weight on young shoulders—and well, if the rumours are to be believed, the boy’s connected to a primal source. Kpp’Ar had read stories, long thought to be nothing but myths...

He clears his throat and gestures. His kettle can take a little more water. “Would you like some tea?”

Callum blinks, then grins. “That would be great. Thank you.”

Thank you. Viren had said the same, bright-eyed on his doorstep when Kpp’Ar had finally relented to teach him, day after day of the teen showing up undeterred on his doorstep. 

So Kpp’Ar turns away and says the same as he did then. “Don’t thank me yet.” 

He’s never been a man to make promises, either. And no matter what answer the boy seeks, Kpp’Ar is sure the answer he’s given won’t be the one he wants. 

#kpp'ar #callum #tdp callum #brotp #my fic #fic #ficlet #headcanons #timeskip shenanigans #tdp #the dragon prince #it was just red #anyway their actual talk will be a follow up drabble bc this got longer than expected #and now i'm attached to the idea of callum bonding with kpp'ar so watch this turn into a oneshot #post season three #arc 1

[zuppizup]

Little Moments 4.0

Previous ficlet

Rayla sits on the beach, sighing contentedly. The sun is setting over the vast ocean and she is finally starting to feel normal again. For the past day or so it has felt like she is still on that damn boat, dry land pitching and rolling even as she knows it is solid.

Her stomach still doesn’t really feel up to too much and the strong, salty food preferred by Tidebounds is a bit too strong for her, but Ezran has found her some fruit which she has been happily nibbling on.

The giggle from behind her makes her laugh, realising she isn’t alone. A gaggle of Tidebound kids have been following her from a distance all day. She knows there is a whole thing between Tidebounds and Moonshadows, the importance of the moon in both their cultures giving them a sort of kinship, but she hadn’t really expected for anyone to find her particularly interesting.

Glancing over her shoulder, she catches a little boy approaching her. He screams in happy fright, turning and running back to his friends not far behind. Rolling her eyes, she laughs to herself as she turns back to the sea. The sun is low now, a bright orange disc slowly sinking below the horizon. Instinctively she can feel the moon rising behind her, steadily growing in power and prominence. It is still a few days until full moon, but she can already feel the familiar buzz that comes with a waxing moon.

She hears footsteps approach and elects to keep her eyes straight ahead, rather than ‘scare’ the kids off again. They clearly have questions and she has nothing else to do but indulge them.

“It’s still a few days before I can turn all Moonshadow-y, you know.” She grins, looking up and expecting to find one of her little followers.

Instead she finds Callum approaching her, looking confused at her apparently random comment.

“Oh… hi.” She feels herself flush and is grateful for the dim light. “I, eh, thought it was one of them.” She nods in the direction of the group of barely disguised children hiding behind a large palm tree.

Callum stops short, looking between her and the children and shuffling awkwardly. “Oh, eh, sorry. I just had some free time so I thought… I didn’t realise you were busy.”

“I’m not.” She answers quickly, not wanting him to leave. He was so kind and attentive during the boat journey here but his time has been monopolised by Tidebound mages since they made land and she’s seen less of him then even Ezran. “It just… the whole moon thing.” Her eyes flicker to the children watching them. “Tidebound kids always want to see moon magic apparently.”

Callum looks between her and the kids briefly, then walks a little closer to her and takes a seat in the sand a respectable distance away. “Moon thing?”

“Yeah,” Rayla hopes the tremble isn’t obvious in her voice. It seems so long since she’s explained anything magical to him, that all part of a simpler time. “Tidebound magic is strongest at high tide, so it’s all moon related.”

Callum furrows his brow, thinking about this for a moment. “Makes sense, I guess.”

“We should come back here at Spring tide.” She waffles on, wanting desperately to engage him in discussion. “This whole place goes crazy apparently.”

Callum laughs, eyes moving around the landscape, beautiful even in the dim twilight. “We should.” He looks back at her, eyes soft. “Maybe as a vacation once all this is over.”

Rayla smiles at him, pushing the scary and morbid thoughts from her mind in favour of envisioning a more pleasant future.

“Miss?”

Rayla jumps a little as a small voice pipes up from to her left. “Yeah?”

“Can you do some moon magic, miss?” A little Tidebound girl is looking at her, all large eyes and amazement.

Rayla sighs, not sure she could resist such a look. The other children hang back and she suspects they sent in the cutest with this request.

“Well… I can try,” She winces, shrugging her shoulders. “But I’m not much of a Moon mage.”

The little elf claps and looks over at her friends, who rush to join them.

Taking a deep breath, Rayla glances at the moon. It is low on the horizon, looking impossibly huge and she hopes the illusion is enough to help her make this spell work. Taking a deep breath, she draws a simple rune and speaks the trigger word. “Mystica Aurora”

Opening her eyes, she sees shimmering lights dancing before her. The children squeal in delight as she blows the gentle illusion closer to them. It dances on the breeze, like it has sentience, and begins to float away.

The children squeal in excitement, chasing after the illusion and pay her no more mind. She laughs, rolling her eyes before glancing over at Callum.

He’s watching the children or the illusion, she can’t tell which. His eyes suddenly move to hers and she thinks she sees him smile in the low light.

“You never mentioned you were a mage.” He speaks softly, and by the way he’s looking at her, she feels like those words have perhaps more meaning to him than they have to her.

He did confess to her that she was the first person to call him a mage… and how perfectly he felt that title fit him. How he’d felt… useless before that. Like a failure of a prince.

Were those her exact words to him? She can’t remember, the moment not nearly having the same level of importance to her at the time. All she remembered from that exchange was him yelling into the tunnels and her inexplicable urge to shush him with a finger on his lips.

She flushes at the memory, the whole thing imbued with such importance now so many years later.

“I’m not.” She states plainly. “I can just do a few dumb tricks.” She’d never had the talent for magic that she had for physical pursuits and she’d always felt embarrassed by her fumbling attempts. Even mentioning the illusion that disguised Zym had seemed silly at the time.

Callum ponders this, looking like he’s perhaps going to argue before he sighs softly. “How come you never showed me before?” He moves a little closer to her, eyes imploring.

Her heart races in her chest. This feels like an important moment but she doesn’t know what he wants to hear and she’s terrified of messing things up. She bites her lip, eyes instinctively seeking the moon for a moment before she looks back at him. She sighs, electing to simply be honest, even if it makes her sound stupid. “I dunno. Magic was your thing.”

His face softens as he looks at her and she forces herself to look away because she’s getting all those oasis happy feels and she’s definitely going to do something stupid like kiss him if he keeps gazing at her with his big green eyes.

“I like seeing you do magic.” He admits, smiling a little wider.

“Really?” She responds without thinking. Her magic is clumsy, ill-practiced. Nothing that ever impressed anyone back home.

Back when she had a home.

“Yeah.” He nods earnestly, clearly wanting her to believe him. “It’s beautiful.”

Continued: Little Moments 5.0

Also on AO3: Little Moments 4.0

#rayllum #rayllum fanfic #rayla #callum #the dragon prince #tdp #tdp fanfic #the dragon prince fanfic #rayla x callum #callum x ralya #zuppi fanfic #fic: little moments

[sunsetsover]

hello i know i’ve been gone for a couple of weeks and i disappeared without a trace and originally that was because ben’s deafness storyline was bringing back a lot of my own personal experiences that i dealt with when coming to terms with my disability and it was (and still is) really really hard to see what he’s going through and how shitty it is and how badly he’s handling it both because it genuinely is a tough thing to see but also because it reopens all these wounds and gives me anxiety and stresses me out bc reminds me of what i went through and what was easily the toughest and darkest part of my life and obviously that’s no fun to relive lmao

however at this point i’m just staying away bc every time i poke my head in to check what’s going on i’m seeing the most fucked up opinions and takes on the whole thing that it’s actually genuinely making me really angry and upset because the way some of you talk about ben’s disability and situation and specifically the way he’s handling this massive petrifying change in his life speaks volumes about how you view disabled people in real life. because yeah, this is a tv show and ben isn’t real, but things like this happen to people. it happened to ME. and guess what!! i did the exact same fucking thing ben’s doing!!! i isolated myself and felt miserable and got angry and acted out and did stupid shit and hurt the people that cared about!!! and i did that because i was terrified and suffering and hurting and angry!!!! and i’m fucking real!!! i’m a real person and i know for a fact i’m not the only person out there who’s dealt with this kind of thing and reacted in this kind of way. so yeah, you might be sitting behind your fucking keyboards saying all these things about ben being selfish or dramatic or unreasonable or whatever else and think it’s ok because ben’s not a real person but you forget that there are real disabled people reading this shit and potentially internalising those things and feeling like THEY have to deal with their situation in a certain way or that they can’t feel certain things because some able bodied dickhead on tumblr dot com feels like they’re entitled to give their shitty fucking input on how disabled people should react to or deal with their disability - and this apparently means we’re not allowed to break down or be upset or act out because that’s too dramatic!!! ben should just shut up and have his operation right!!!! he should just stop misbehaving and causing so much trouble because it’s inconvenient!!! it’s not fair on callum right!!!!!!

like for some reason some of you cannot see beyond the end of your fucking noses to see that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with callum!!!!!! what the fuck does callum have to do with the fact that ben is having a fucking break down!!!!! what does callum have to do with the fact that ben is scared and acting out in the only way he knows how because he’s desperate to prove he isn’t different and that nothing’s changed and that he can still do the things he’s always done!!!!! callum has so fucking little to do with what ben’s going through at the moment and yet some people cannot look at this horrible situation that ben’s dealing with through anything other than a ballum lens and it fucking REEKS

ben lost his fucking hearing, he’s isolated, he’s feels like he’s lost so much of his self, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s upset, he’s petrified he’ll never hear his daughter’s voice again - his daughter who got hit by a fucking car because he couldn’t hear it and now he feels like he’ll never be able to look after her or keep her safe the way he should - and yes he’s acting out because of all of that!! that’s what happens when you can’t accept your disability!!! you’re determined to prove you can do what you could before no matter what it costs you!!! and yet i’ve seen MULTIPLE people reduce that to ‘well he shouldn’t do that because it’s unfair and inconvenient for callum’!!!!!!!!!! or ‘ben isn’t putting enough effort into his relationship with callum/thinking about callum’!!!! or ‘this is just angst porn that serves no purpose’!!!!!!!! do you not have a brain in your fucking head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his brother’s just died!!!!! he’s just become deaf!!!!!!! he can’t fucking hear!!!!!!!!!!! he might never hear again!!!!!!! and is facing major surgery that might not even work!!!!!!!!!!!!! like hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of course he’s struggling and acting out!!!! the fact that so few of you seem to be able to comprehend what’s going on is genuinely worrying

the fact of the matter is that some of you are upset that you don’t have your able bodied ship being all cute and domestic anymore. YOU are the ones who feel inconvenienced or slighted, and you’re projecting that onto callum bc that’s how you can get away w saying this bullshit. bc - and i know this might come as a shock to some of you - when you care about and love someone, you support them when they’re going through such a difficult time. you try to be as understanding as you can. also just look at who callum is as a character. you think he wouldn’t understand ben’s behaviour rn??? like come on!! so maybe it’s YOU that has the problem. maybe it’s YOU that doesn’t like it bc ben’s struggling through this in an ugly (but COMPLETELY valid) way and that’s inconvenient for you bc, whether you’re even aware of it or not, being disabled is an inconvenience. disabled people are hard work. this is just how most able bodied people see disabled people. if you’re reading this and you’re able bodied, you’re not immune from this. you’re not special. like any other prejudice, it’s something you just subconsciously learn and you might not even be aware of. but i’m telling you as a disabled person, the way some of you are speaking abt ben/this storyline tells me everything i need to know about how you view disabled people. so maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you’re saying what you’re saying and why you may feel the way you feel regarding this particular sl. bc for a lot of you, whether you wanna admit it or not, the answer is ableism. 

i didn’t want to make this post bc i don’t LIKE being confrontational!! i wanna be polite and kind and fair!!! but some of you have to understand that when you’re saying some of this shit you’re basically disregarding/making light of/taking the piss out of disabled people and their experiences. maybe you’re not even aware you’re doing it, but that’s exactly what it is. that’s exactly what it comes across as, and that’s exactly what it feels like to read some of the things you post as a disabled person (and it’s not just me - i know for a fact this stuff is affecting other disabled people in this fandom too). it’s upsetting, it’s invalidating, it’s HUMILIATING. and i’m fortunate enough to be a point in my life where i’m at relative peace w my disability, but if this were 5 years ago?? you have no idea how reading some of this shit would have fucked with my head. so the fact that i know there are other disabled people out there reading this stuff and it’s affecting them is more important to me than not starting drama on tumblr dot com. their feelings mean too much to me for me to just sit here and not say anything bc i don’t wanna upset people. some of u need to be upset. it’s the only way you’re gonna learn.

literally all i’m asking is for you to think about the things you say before you post them. ask yourself why you feel a certain way about things. ask yourself if what you wanna say is potentially gonna hurt or upset or insult a disabled person who might be reading it. ask yourself if you just wanna say some bullshit abt ben bc you’re just mad callum isn’t getting more screentime. bc if the answer is yes i promise you your opinion is unhelpful, unneeded and unwanted. so maybe just u know. keep your mouth shut.

#ballum #ben mitchell #callum highway #eastenders #ee #yes im tagging it because a lot of you need to be fucking told #i told u i was gonna be the big disabled gatekeeper here to ruin ur fun!!! #and before anyone even goes there this has nothing to do with callum this is not ABOUT callum or his sls or screentime or any of that #so let's not even go there thanks! #also if you're thinking of replying to this or sending me an ask with your opinions or pov #and you're able bodied just do me a favour and: don't lmao #i don't care about your opinion i don't care abt your perspective or your take i care about disabled people #so if you're not one and you disagree just know i don't care so save us both the time and just move along

[jelzorz]

93.

The Valentine's Day roses thing the school does is cute, but stupid. Rayla thinks it's supposed to be some fundraising thing—for some well-meaning community group that goes out of its way to promote good citizenship or whatever—which is sweet and all but she's never been into it because, well—

She's never been one for Valentine's Day to begin with. It's kind of a pointless holiday, if you ask her. It's become all about showing off your relationship than actually having one, and the consumerism around it all certainly doesn't help, and roses wilt, at the end of the day, and, like, what's the point? If you love each other so much, why make a day of it? Why not do this sort of crap every day?

Anyway, it doesn't matter. The flyers the school's put up are making use of internet memes this year which is tacky as hell, but sure. She wrinkles her nose at the one posted over her locker—the stupid Forever Alone face that she thought had died years ago—before she tears it off and crumples it up in one hand.

"Yeesh, salty much? Someone'd think you didn't have a date or something."

Rayla groans. "What do you want, Soren?"

Soren snickers. "My locker's next to yours."

"Yes, but what do you want?"

Soren shrugs there, his fingers working deftly at the padlock on his own locker, his lips tilted in a smirk that knows far too much. "Oh, nothing," he says mildly. "I think the question we should be asking is what do you want?"

Rayla bristles. "I don't want anything," she mutters, shoving this period's textbooks into her bag with a bit more violence than she means.

"You're pretty grumpy for someone who wants nothing," snorts Soren. "Maybe it's not something. Maybe it's someone."

Rayla has the decency to flush but the sense to keep her face hidden behind her locker door. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, so you won't be buying any roses from the stall later?"

"Who would I be buying them for? Valentine's Day is a stupid holiday."

"Mmhmm," says Soren. "And this has nothing at all to do with the fact that Callum—"

Rayla slams her locker shut. "Nope," she hisses, eyes darting to the other kids in the hall like, somehow, Callum might suddenly appear. "Not at all. Shut up."

"Subtle."

The sarcasm makes Rayla want flush even more because, yeah, she knows. She and Callum have been friends since they started at this godforsaken school three years ago, and it's not like she never noticed, but at some point over the winter holidays, he'd just started to grow on her maybe a little bit more than he already had. There's just something about his smile, and his eyes, and the way he cheers for her louder than anyone else at every gymnastics meet. He'd bring her flowers and hug the living daylights out of her, help her strap her wrists and her ankles before practises, his fingers lingering just a tiny bit longer than they should—

The worst part about it is how obvious she's been. She can't help it. He's just got that effect on her, and she's been a blushing, sputtering mess any time he's in the immediate vicinity, which is a lot. The biggest insult is the fact that she screwed up a vault once, and of course, Callum had come running because he likes to sit and watch her practises on his off time, and Rayla had been such a child about it that Soren, of all people, had noticed, and now—

"Stop it," she snaps. "It's not like that."

"Kinda seems like that. And, I mean, I would know. I'm pretty much an expert on love these days."

"You've been dating Marcos for two months."

"You haven't been dating Callum at all."

A beat. Rayla wants to wrench her locker open and climb into it. She shoulders her bag and turns away.

"Tell you what," says Soren, sidling up to her with a grin. "I'll do you a favour. I'm doing rose deliveries later. How about I send one to Callum from you?"

"Don't even think about it."

"Anonymously, then."

"Soren."

"I'm trying to help," huffs Soren. All mischief aside, he actually does sound earnest about it, and Rayla forces herself to glare at him from the corner of her eye. "Callum's an idiot. He thinks he's still hung up on Claudia, and if you don't do something about it soon, he's going to do something all three of you are going to regret."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he likes you too," he snaps. "He thinks he likes Claudia because it's comfortable, but he looks at you like you put the damn stars in the sky. And, listen, I love Claudia, but they won't make each other happy, and I'm not going to put up with it just because you won't suck it up." He rolls his eyes, irritated, cheek gone, and serious, even as he digs into his bag and produces a pale pink heart-shaped card. "Sign it and bring it to the stall at lunch. If you don't, fine, but I'm sending a rose his way anyway, and it'll be from you whether you like it or not." With that, he offers her a two finger salute and pushes his way through the throng of kids still in the hallway, leaving Rayla staring after him with her mouth agape and the card still in her hand.

The warning bell rings. The Forever Alone faces watch her from the lockers against the wall.

#in anticipation #happy valentines day yall #rayllum #sorayla brotp my fave #a rose by any other name

[botheredbuck]

Blowing a raspberry against someone's skin for Ballum (if it inspires you of course! ☺️)

35 - blowing a raspberry against someone's skin

this may not have been exactly what you had in mind buuuut it was the first thing that came to me and then the idea was too cute to leave alone? hope you enjoy!! thank u sm for the prompt <3

-

The first thing Ben hears that morning is the sound of laughter.

It's not his husband's laugh- no, he'd recognise that a million miles away. Callum laughs in this deep and truly joyous way, with his whole body, as if whatever's made him laugh rushes through his whole body in a second, lighting every inch of him up with this striking happiness. It's one of the most beautiful sights Ben's ever been privy to, and it's bettered only by when it's Ben that makes him laugh. Now that- well.

It's not Lexi's laugh, either. She has the same carefree little laugh she had when she was younger, not yet having grown out of it. It's something Ben holds onto with everything in him, desperate to keep his little girl forever right next to him.

No, this laughter- it couldn't be anyone but Oliver.

Oliver, their beautiful son. Oliver, who's just turned two and is already growing up way too fast for Ben, who still carries with him the feeling of holding the boy for the first time everywhere he goes. Oliver, who's laugh lights up something in Ben that he didn't even realise was there until him and Callum got him.

(Ben's always known he's a family man, of course - it's almost part and parcel of the whole gangster thing. Being with Callum and Lexi has always given him a feeling like nothing else. But this is something different. Maybe if it didn't scare him so much, he'd be ready to admit that it feels a little like true, unbridled happiness and contentedness - something Ben long ago convinced himself he didn't deserve.

But it does scare him still, so it's not a thought for right now. Perhaps one to consider when he's lying skin to skin with Callum - the only place it feels like nothing can hurt him.)

Ben doesn't even bother to hold back his smile once he realises - it's hopeless, he's tried. It's best just to let it consume him, wrap him up in the warmest of hugs.

The giggles die down a second later, followed by a deep murmuring he can only just catch, then another burst of giggles. What could only be Callum's laugh joins in a second later, and suddenly the distance between Ben and whatever's happening in the other room is way too far.

He throws the cover back across the bed and pulls himself towards the door, stepping lightly to try and avoid disturbing the scene. Ben pulls open their bedroom door, then steps around the corner to the open doorway where the noise comes from, and- oh.

Callum's there in just his pyjama bottoms, stood over Oliver, who's on the changing table waving his little arms about. Callum's clearly just finished changing his nappy and is now just grinning down at him, looking as though there's nowhere else he'd rather be - even if he has just been faced with whatever the contents of the previous dirty nappy had been.

"Again?" he says quietly, grinning down mischeviously at Oliver. "Again, Oli?"

"Da!" Oliver shouts - his favourite word - while waving his hands about wildly.

"Alright, here I come!" Callum laughs, then leans down and blows a raspberry right on Oliver's exposed belly. The kid screams, then falls into even more delighted giggles, accompanied once again by Callum's deep laugh.

"Alright, baby, I think that's enough for now," he says once he's caught his breath, leaning forward to pick Oliver off the table. "Let's go and see if your Dad's awake, yeah?"

Oliver seemingly just recognises the word Dad and gets excited, because he lets out another excited noise.

"No need," Ben says a second later, before they can get far. "Already up, don't you worry."

Callum jumps just slightly, then shoots him a big, beaming grin. "Morning! Just in time for breakfast."

Out of nowhere, Lexi shouts pancakes from the other room, then races out into the hall, hair half-plaited - God, since when could she do it herself? When did that happen? - and a hopeful grin on her face, not unlike Ben's own whenever he's asking Callum for something. "Can we have pancakes?"

Callum pretends to consider for a minute, then mock-sighs. "Fine, but don't say I never do nothing for you lot, alright?"

Lexi cheers, and Oliver must catch onto something because he throws his hands up into the air, almost catching Callum's chin. Callum just laughs, then turns to press a kiss to Ben's lips.

"Morning," he says again quietly between kisses. "I love you."

Ben smiles, soft. There is no other answer, except- "I adore you, Callum Mitchell."

sensory prompts!!

#answered asks #ballum #eastenders #ben mitchell #callum highway #ballum fic #lexi pearce #ee #ben x callum #i do not know where this came from but i am SOFT #i missed writing baby oli honestly #also ee let callum hold a baby 2k21

[tenspontaneite]

The Ceracurist (Chapter 1/?)

Rayla has been at university for nearly three months, trying and failing to take care of her horn upkeep alone, before she admits defeat and goes to visit a professional horn salon.

It ends up being somewhat less of a terrible experience than she expects.

-

(“You’re human?” She blurted, unthinking, and the smile he’d been wearing went momentarily fixed. A little more professional than it was genuine. Then he huffed, an easy laugh, and she felt herself go red around the ears.

“What gave it away?” Her ceracurist asked, dry, his grin a little lopsided.

Rayla stared, taken off-guard, and gestured expansively at his entire body.)

(Chapter length: 6k. Ao3 link)

---

Rayla pushed through the doors of the salon with a bearing that would have been better suited for heading into battle. Regrettably, there was no one she could legally fight here, so she slunk cautiously in, grimacing at what she saw. She might have hoped to find somewhere to lurk and get her bearings unnoticed, but there was no hiding in that open and well-lit reception area, and no disguising the way that the bell on the door chimed cheerfully at her passing. It was altogether a terrible start to what she fully expected would be a mortifying experience.

A Sunfire elf looked up from the desk and smiled. Their dark skin and hair was typical enough, but the horns caught her eye; she stared for a second before she could avert her gaze. Far from the usual plain gleam of Sunfire horns, these had been carved into elaborate patterns and dyed in an astonishing gradient of red and purple. She’d never seen anything like it outside of the mageskein, or maybe the cover of a magazine. “Welcome!” the elf chirped, friendly. “Do you have an appointment?” Beside them, on the desk, a potted melodaisy sang a tune that she vaguely recognised. It was weirdly anachronistic to find melodaisy music in a place as modern-looking as this.

Rayla stopped short, tension locking her joints. Her neck prickled with self-consciousness. “...Do I need one?” she asked, after a moment, with an edge to her voice. She eyed the door, already wanting desperately to escape. Shouldn’t have listened to Ethari, she thought morosely. This had been a bad idea from the start.

The receptionist inspected her, and in that moment Rayla was entirely certain that they knew exactly what she was about. It was unnerving, the calculating weight of that look. Then it passed, and they waved dismissively. “If you wanted something complex done, yes. But I’m guessing that’s not what you’re here for.”

She gave serious thought to the idea of just...walking out. She could do that, right? But then she’d have to explain the cowardice, such that it was, whenever she next called her family. And what a stupid thing this would be to lose her nerve over. “No.” She agreed grumpily.

“Touch up?” The receptionist questioned. “Basic buff and polish?”

Her shoulders hunched. “Just the filing and buffing,” she relented, in the end. “I’m not here for anything fancy.”

“Polishing is part of our standard service, I’m afraid. Nothing fancy about it, as far as we’re concerned.” The Sunfire elf smiled at her in a placating sort of way. It grated. “Why don’t you go take a seat and I’ll see who’s available?” they gestured at the row of seats, smartly upholstered, arrayed along the wall. Again, Rayla eyed the door. This was apparently noticed. “It’s alright, we’re used to first-timers,” they assured her, already receding from the desk and heading for the door into the salon proper. “It’s really not that scary. Just wait a minute, alright? I’ll be right back.”

They couldn’t have known it. Or maybe they did? But Rayla heard ‘scary’ and stiffened before she could help it, setting her jaw. Very stubbornly indeed, she stalked over to one of the chairs and planted herself in it, staring grimly at the assorted posters and advertisements on the walls. They were, of course, largely advertising different things one could have done to one’s horns. Because this was a horn salon. A horn salon that her entire family had suggested, implied, or outright stated she desperately needed the services of.

It wasn’t her fault that it was hard to get to the undersides of her horns on her own. Even using a complex set of mirrors, working on what you couldn’t see was decidedly challenging. She’d filed off the nasty parts, but apparently, that wasn’t good enough, and she looked unkempt, and undignified, and how do you ever expect to follow your parents into their line of work looking like that, Rayla-

“Ugh,” she muttered to herself, disgruntled, and folded her arms. She glared at a poster that implored her to, in very bold and cheerful lettering, ‘Ask about horn art today!’. Rayla had absolutely no intention of asking about horn art today.

While she was waiting, a Skywing elf emerged from the same door the receptionist had entered, and approached the desk curiously. He turned to her, and as he did, the light caught on his horns. “Did the receptionist leave?” He asked, and Rayla tried very hard not to stare. Not only did this elf have elaborate patterns carved into the horns, but there was – some sort of silvery metallic inlay in there, gleaming bright and almost liquid in the daylight filtering through the window. She hadn’t even known people did that. It was startlingly striking.

“Er,” she said, and “yeah, I think they’ll be back in a minute, though.” The unfamiliar elf accepted this agreeably enough, and stood by the desk to wait.

Sure enough, the receptionist returned in short order, pausing briefly in the doorway to do a double-take at the man waiting there. “Oh, so that’s why he was free,” they muttered to themself, just about loud enough for Rayla’s excellent ears to pick up. More loudly, they said “Tairas! You look fantastic! Glad you decided to try the metallics after all?”

The elf, evidently some sort of repeat customer, chuckled at them as they strode back up to the counter. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure at first, but-“ he waved expressively at his horns. “-wow, right? You’ve got some serious talent working here.”

“We’re very glad to have him, yes,” agreed the receptionist, and then conducted what ended up being a rapid exchange of a staggering amount of currency. Apparently, fancy horn-decorating did not come cheap. Rayla glanced uneasily at the price lists on the walls to reassure herself that what she was here for wouldn’t be so extortionate. Finally, the customer with the fancy metal-patterned horns left, and the receptionist approached her again. “Well, you’re in luck, Callum finished up with Tairas just in time for you,” they told her. “So I can take you through now.”

“Great.” Rayla said, unenthusiastically, and the receptionist snickered at her.

With a friendly pat on her shoulder, they said “It’ll be fine, trust me. And Callum’s one of our best ceracurists anyway, so you’ll be in good hands.”

The words didn’t soothe her. They’d be stranger’s hands, no matter their skill; that was what had unsettled her. Of course it was what had unsettled her. What else?

Still. She supposed if she had to have a stranger’s hands on her horns, at the very least it could be a stranger who knew what they were doing. Rayla sighed, resigned, and followed the receptionist through to the treatment area. She entered a long corridor with yet more doors arrayed along it; some further down its length marked ‘staff only’, others nearer and unadorned. The receptionist took her into the closest, revealing a large room lined with curtained-off booths. The sounds were precisely what she’d expected; the buzz of a half dozen electric buffers in operation, the hum of voices, the shuffling of feet. She could smell keratin dust and horn polish on the air. Horn oil, too.

It ought to have unsettled her further, and it did, a little. But the sight of the curtains had soothed her at once, with all their attendant implications of privacy. Somehow, she’d anticipated something far more open, where she had the sight to go with the sound of however-many elves having their horns groomed. She’d anticipated that others would be able to see her, sat beneath the ministrations of a ceracurist who she didn’t even know.

It had been a stupid expectation, in retrospect. For all that it was more common in the larger cities for elves to see a ceracurist when they needed to, they still had their dignity. Of course there’d be booths. Of course they wouldn’t be able to see each other. Of course.

Her relief at the realisation sustained her until she was led a little further down the room. Only one booth was open and empty, and within it she saw what she expected: a chair, a basin, a mirror. A table of tools. There was no one waiting there for her, but she tensed regardless.

“He’ll be here soon,” reassured the receptionist, as if mistaking the source of her anxiety. “He’s just changing. The metallurgy is careful work, you know.”

She didn’t know, in fact. She didn’t particularly care, either. “Right.” she said, terse, and eventually allowed herself to be prodded over to the waiting chair. Stiffly, she sat. And then the receptionist left her there to wait.

It didn’t take long. On-edge as she was, her ears twitched at the footsteps in the corridor long before anyone entered the room; she traced their approach, staring at the sight of her own terse expression in the mirror. Then, finally, the person drew near enough to pause at the edge of her booth. She could see the edge of their body in the mirror, wearing some sort of dark apron over a uniform.

“Hey there,” he said, friendly, and there was the sound of a curtain being drawn. “So you’re my surprise appointment, huh?”

“Suppose so,” Rayla muttered, eyes on her hands as they tightened in her lap. She still hadn’t looked. She didn’t really want to look at him. This was the person who’d be handling her horns. A stranger. She wasn’t quite ready to put a face to the voice yet. But, ready or not…he stepped into view.

Startled, she blinked up at him, and registered several things in rapid succession. The hair was a little surprising; brown, but smooth in a way you didn’t often get with Sunfire or Earthblood elves, and his skin was pale. Eyes a pleasant forest-green. Cute, Rayla’s mind supplied after a moment, as though to distract herself from the far more obvious conclusion of-

“You’re human?” She blurted, unthinking, and the smile he’d been wearing went momentarily fixed. A little more professional than it was genuine. Then he huffed, an easy laugh, and she felt herself go red around the ears.

“What gave it away?” Her ceracurist asked, dry, his grin a little lopsided.

Rayla stared, taken off-guard, and gestured expansively at his entire body. The lack of horns, the rounded ears, the – the five-finger hands, so strange in their shape that for a moment she couldn’t pull her eyes from them. It wasn’t as if she’d never seen humans before. But these circumstances were weird.

“Yeah, that’s fair.” He acknowledged. He stepped up to the table of assorted tools, inspecting them, and nodded before returning his eyes to her. Again that lopsided smile. “Don’t worry, though. I promise I’m good at my job, even if I don’t have my own horns to practice on.”

Her face burned, blood flushing hot in her veins at the sudden and abrupt reminder of what she was here for. Of what he was here for. “…Is that something people worry about?” She found herself asking, struck by how practiced those words had seemed, like he’d said them – or some variation of them – a great many times.

“Eh, sometimes.” He shrugged, then went over to pull the rest of the curtains closed. “It’s not something people expect, anyway. A human ceracurist, I mean.”

“I definitely didn’t,” she muttered, not quite under her breath, and he snickered.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.” He offered a smile, and then – to her surprise – a short polite bow, in the human style, fist clasped over his heart. She’d not seen anyone do that since she was a child. “I’m Callum, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

Thoughts suddenly muddled by some very old memories, she blinked, then nodded cautiously. “Rayla.” She hesitated. “Same?” Under the circumstances, she shouldn’t have found it nice to meet him. But, unaccountably, she did.

“Is it okay if we get started?” He asked then, nodding to his table of implements. “Don’t want to hurry you, but this does take a while.”

Whatever ease she’d managed to find in the brief conversation abruptly fled her, and she went still and wordless. She glanced at him, at his face, for all of a second before the mortification overcame her and she had to hide behind her hands. “Moon above,” she muttered, into her palms, shoulders hunching. “Ugh.”

There was a pause. “You alright there?” His voice was only half joking.

“…Yeah.” She said eventually, and forced her hands down. “Just…”

He sounded sympathetic. “Never had your horns done outside the family, huh?” She made some sort of affirmative noise, and he nodded understandingly. “It’s okay, we get a lot of that here. If it helps, just remember that it’s a professional setting, and doesn’t come with the normal implications, okay?”

She sighed. “I’ll do my best.” Despite that resolution, though, she still couldn’t help the embarrassed grumble when he draped a gown around her front and shoulders, ostensibly to shield her clothes from horn debris, and leaned the chair she was in back towards the basin.

“Do you prefer to have a hair-shield on, or to have your hair washed afterwards?” He asked, after a moment, and she balked. She hadn’t even realised that was an option. But – of course, otherwise people would have to leave the salon with their hair wet with horn-oil and full of disgusting keratin dust and flakes…

“Hair shield,” she opted, quickly, and he hummed his agreement.

“No problem.” He pulled something from the table with a rustling noise. “Does mean I won’t be able to get at the first centimetre or so of your horns, though, so keep that in mind.”

Worth it, she thought. It was something of a mercy, even. The horns themselves were just insensate keratin on the outsides…but the skin at the beds? That was sensitive. She’d be glad to avoid that particular intimacy.

Even as she thought it, the ceracurist lowered something over one of her horns, and then the other, perceptible by the light and gentle weight grazing over them. She went utterly still, and peered up to try to see in the mirror what he was doing. It was a kind of…hood, or shroud, with two horn-holes in it. And some sort of drawstring around both holes. She watched with a bizarre and anxious tension as he pressed the hood down and then tightened the drawstrings around the base of her horns until they were flush with the hornbeds.

Then, visible in the mirror, he paused and looked her horns over. His expression didn’t change much, but she could see the minute lift of his eyebrows. Her face burned. “Been a while,” she offered, by way of explanation for the state of them, and she saw his smile in the reflection.

“You’ve done a pretty good job by yourself, really.” He said generously, dipping something into the basin with a distinct watery splash. “The oversides are pretty neatly filed.” Briefly, there was the lightest sensation of weight on her right horn, like he’d touched a fingertip to it. A shiver of apprehension stiffened her shoulders. “You’ve done this ridge a bit flat, though. And the undersides…” He paused, like he couldn’t think of anything charitable to say on that moment’s notice.

Rayla closed her eyes, embarrassed and unnerved at once. “Ugh.”

“They’re hard to get to, I know,” he soothed, and then planted a wet soapy cloth on the horn in question. “It’s okay. I can fix it up.”

She sighed, neck prickling with tension. “Sure.”

The next few minutes she sat silently warring with her impulse to twitch at every touch on her horns. Given the ceracurist spent said minutes washing those horns, this was a considerable challenge. The sensation of heat from warm water radiating through the keratin wasn’t unfamiliar, and neither was the scrub of the brush – but she’d never experienced either outside the company of family before. It was unsettling. Reminding herself that it was professional didn’t help that, either – all it did was calm the flush in her cheeks a little.

“I’m guessing you moved here recently, then.” The ceracurist – Callum – said after a while. “Away from family.”

She startled a little, and glanced at his reflection in the mirror. As best she could, anyway, with her head tipped mostly backwards. Her nose obstructed most of her view from this angle. “…Yeah. Few months back.”

He paused. “You’re a student?” He guessed, and she supposed it wasn’t a difficult leap to make. She was the right age, this part of the city was packed with students, and the first term had started nearly three months ago in March. The conclusion was obvious. She offered a vague hum of agreement to confirm it, and he was silent for a while. “That’s actually kind of impressive,” he said at last. “Most of the other new students with tricky horns gave up trying to do it themselves after like, a month. Not three. You’ve been managing pretty well.”

Rayla snorted. “Tricky horns?” She repeated, ignoring the rest for now, and he huffed at her.

“Moonshadow, Skywing, you know. Tricky horns.” He elaborated. She could practically hear the smile in his voice. “The Sunfire elves manage pretty well, theirs are simple enough.”

“And meanwhile we have the most annoying kind of all,” Rayla muttered, of her own race. “Stupid ridges and all.”

“Well, if you’ve not seen a Skywing elf when they’re casting their shells, maybe hold off on making that call.” He sounded amused. “But yeah, you guys don’t exactly have it easy. We get a lot of Moonshadow elves coming in here for horn help.”

“Students?”

“Mostly. But there’s other elves around who don’t have anyone in their personal lives they’d trust enough, too. So they come here.” He removed the brush, wiped her horns off, and went for a distinctive tool on the table. An electric buffer. Considerably faster and more effective than doing it by hand, she knew, but they were expensive enough that a lot of elves didn’t have one. Her family had, though. They all shared the tools. So she knew what to expect.

The noise of it started up, and accordingly their conversation dwindled. She felt the buzz of the buffer against her right horn a moment later, angled carefully into one of the ridges there. As always, the sensation hummed straight through the keratin to the vaguely-sensitive skin beneath; it tingled. The next while passed like that, with the ceracurist occasionally sitting her up and coaxing her to move her head this way or that to get better angles on her horns, paying particular attention to the neglected undersides. She didn’t even want to think about how many keratin flakes must be littering the gown he’d put on her.

Her inner-horn had gone thoroughly numb from the vibrations by the time he switched the buffer off and set it aside to get the cloth again. “I’ll just wipe this down and go for a second run, then do the same on your other horn, alright?” He said, soothingly, probably seeing how she twitched at every motion, uncertain what he’d do next.

She tried to relax a little. It was uncomfortable, yes, but…this was his job, and it – that was all it was. Plenty of elves had their horns done by ceracurists. It was fine. “Right.” She muttered, and tried not to flinch when she felt the weight of the cloth on her horn again. More to distract herself than anything else, she asked “How long have you been doing this?” Except, once she’d actually asked, she was curious. How did a human even end up working in a horn salon? Why was he in an elven city in the first place?

The ceracurist huffed, and said, impishly, “This? Probably coming up to ten minutes, so far.” He tapped her horn cheerfully, as if to indicate it, and went back to wiping. Her cheeks heated instantly; she couldn’t exactly help it, with that very direct reminder that he was touching her horns.

She rolled her eyes anyway. “Ha-ha,” she said, dryly, and he snickered at her.

“About two years, now.” He relented after a moment. “I’m only in a few times a week, but, eh. It’s a hobby. And I get paid for it, so.” He shrugged, then went for the buffer again. Accordingly, there was no more talking for a while, but in that interim her interest grew. He looked around her age, or maybe even younger…and he’d been doing this for years?

She’d assumed, from his accent, that he came from one of the human countries. Possibly even Katolis, though she wasn’t great at telling the different West Xadia accents apart. But if he’d been living here for years…was he a resident? Long-term? That was rare. The curiosity nagged at her enough that she half-forgot the embarrassment of having her horns handled by a stranger, and when he put the buffer down again, she said “You don’t have a Gullcrest accent.”

“That’s probably one of the politest ways anyone’s tried to ask me where I’m from,” he mused, and for a second she felt like an absolute racist boor before he waved dismissively at her. He explained “It’s fine, people get curious, I don’t mind. I didn’t grow up here or anything, I just came for the university.”

Rayla startled. “You’re a student?”

He smiled, and this time he looked decidedly proud of himself. “Mastery student, even.” He agreed cheerfully, and she stopped short, turning her head over her shoulder to squint at him. “You know, it’s hard to work on your horns if you’re facing me,” he told her, very reasonably, but she was busy inspecting his face. He had to be around the same age as her, surely. And he was on a masters degree?

“How old are you?” She demanded, suddenly completely uncertain of her ability to judge human ages.

The ceracurist looked pleased at the question, as if he relished every chance to show off the absurdly young age at which he was pursuing a mastery in…whatever it was he studied. “Eighteen.” He said, and then gently nudged her into turning around again. She made an incredulous face at him, but obliged after a moment. “How about you?”

“Nineteen,” she answered, distractedly, trying to parse the mystery of her ceracurist’s unlikely academic circumstances. Generally people were only allowed to pursue a mastery when they’d done an apprenticeship or undergraduate degree already, and those were never less than three years long. An apprenticeship, then? She couldn’t imagine a fifteen-year-old being let into the university…

Unceremoniously, the buzz of the buffer interrupted her thoughts and the conversation, so they fell quiet again. It was him who spoke first when he was done with the first pass on her other horn. “What are you studying?”

However logical it was as a follow-up question, it still caught her off-guard. “Er.” She scrambled for the name, mind suddenly blank. A moment later she supplied “Professional Security. And Tactics.”

“Huh.” He sounded bemused. “I know someone on that course, actually. He’s second year now.”

Rayla snorted. “How’s he finding it?”

“Says there’s way more math than he thinks is fair. And he thinks Professor Sadris is evil.”

That neatly matched her observations thus far, at least. “Sounds about right.” After that, the second buffing run silenced them again, and she was left in thought. What would a human be studying at Gullcrest at a mastery level? How long had he lived here? She’d seen a handful of humans at the university, but…well, they stood out. There weren’t a lot of them. Had she seen him before, perhaps? There was something weirdly familiar about him…

She was all set to come out and ask one of the dozen questions on her mind when the buffer stopped, but he just said “I’m about done with this now, so it’s onto the polishing next. That won’t take as long, but there probably will be horn-polish splatter, so…brace yourself, I guess.”

“Isn’t that what the hair shield is for?” She asked, neatly distracted, and was surprised to realise that most of her nerves had disappeared, somewhere between her curiosity and the human ceracurist’s efficient work.

“And the apron,” he agreed. “But it does still get messy. You want any colours?”

“Colour?” She echoed, disconcerted, and he seemed to understand what she was asking.

“Horn polish can come in colours, with dyes in it. It’s a really easy way to add colour to horns. If you’re just here for basic care, though, that’s fine.”

“Er.” She thought for a moment on that startling gradient of colour on the receptionist’s horns. Was that how theirs had been done, or was there some other method needed for something that striking? Either way… “No, no colours. Thanks, though?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. You’ve got a nice base horn colour, anyway.” He said, as if making comments like that was the most normal thing in the world. For a ceracurist, it might well be; but her cheeks flushed an instant and virulent red regardless. “It’s a good clear dark purple. It’ll look great when it’s polished up.”

Rayla wondered, amid her embarrassment, when she’d last seen her horns polished. Her parents did the buffing, sure, but polishing…not so much. It was a lot of work without the special oils and tools. She thought maybe they’d done it once, when she was pretty young, for one particular formal occasion. Aside from that, though… “I don’t even know what my horns look like polished,” she admitted, flustered, and he paused for a moment.

“Huh.” He said, just a little surprised. “Well, the colour goes darker, and a lot shinier. Looks really nice, I think. You’ll see.” And, with that, he uncapped the horn polish, the smell hitting her like a slap to the face. Her nose wrinkled, and she wondered how many times she’d have to wash her hair to get the residual stink of it out. The hair shield probably wouldn’t be able to keep all of it off, after all.

Her ceracurist seemed entirely oblivious to how awful the smell was at close range, but she supposed he’d had practice withstanding it. Either that, or he’d burned out his sense of smell in the first week of his alleged two years. She closed her eyes a couple of minutes in, the acrid reek of the stuff making them water and sting. It felt like she was dousing her sinuses with acid every time she inhaled.

Callum chuckled at her, as if he knew precisely what she was thinking. “The stuff we use is a lot stronger than what you’re probably used to.” He said cheerfully. “Has a pretty interesting smell, right?”

“It feels like it’s burning my nose,” she complained, lifting a hand to rub at it with annoyance. “And it’s making my eyes water.” The sensation was rather alike being too close to the epicentre of a very enthusiastic onion-chopping endeavour.

“Yeah, we have spells on to keep it out of our eyes so we can actually see what we’re doing,” Callum said, uncapping the bottle again. It decanted a fresh wave of acrid reek into the surrounding air. “It’s not harmful, though, just sort of stings. Plus, I’m only using the full-strength stuff because your horns haven’t been done in a long time. It’s a lot weaker when it’s just a normal touch-up.” Though she couldn’t see his face, she could practically hear the grin. “Come back a little sooner next time, and it won’t smell this bad.”

Come back? “Ugh,” she said, en lieu of addressing that statement properly, and fell quiet to ruminate disconcertedly on what he’d said. Come back? She hadn’t thought about it, but – of course, she’d need to come back. She was going to be at university for years, and would barely be home for any of that. If she didn’t want her horns to get disgusting again, trips like this would have to be an ongoing thing.

“Every month, is usually a good bet,” Callum said, as if she’d actually spoken the question that was suddenly on her mind. “Usually between half-moon and new moon is the best time for you guys. You get a lot more active keratin growth around full moon, so if you wait till later, the work we do will usually stay put until the next month.”

Rayla frowned at the mirror. “Do humans have some kind of mind-reading power I don’t know about?” Her tone was dry, for all that she was a little off-put at how well he could apparently read her. It…well, it was useful information, though. She hadn’t known that keratin grew faster around Full Moon, for all that it made sense. She wondered if she should be bothered by learning something about how her own horns worked from a human.

He snorted, but took a few seconds to respond. “Not me, that’s for sure.” He said, lightly, and finally put the stinking polishing-stuff down. “Can’t speak for other humans, though. I think we probably don’t have secret mind-reading societies anywhere, but you never know. Weirder things have happened.”

She thought of the huge scandal of a few years back and made a face. “True enough,” she sighed, turning her neck to inspect what he was doing. “Are you done yet?”

Having moved enough to have eyes on him, she was able to watch as his lips turned up in a wry smile. “You’re that eager to escape, huh?”

Rayla rolled her eyes at him. “Escape the polishing? Yes. It stinks.”

He snickered, but nodded, and went for a more normal cleaning cloth that she was deeply glad to see. “Yeah, that part’s done. I’ll rinse off now and then put some oil on to dry, and that’ll be it.” He wrung the cloth over the basin and then coaxed her head around again, lifting his hands to her horns.

She blinked. “What, ‘it’ as in done?”

“Yep. I like to think I’m pretty speedy at the whole buff-and-polish thing by now.”

“…Huh.” Nonplussed, Rayla went quiet.

She could hear the smile in his voice. “Wasn’t as bad as you thought?” He guessed, as on-point as ever, and she felt her cheeks heat again. It was quite a question for someone to ask when their hands happened to be on your horns.

Rayla folded her arms under the protective gown. “….Maybe,” she admitted, begrudgingly, and sat there while the warmth of the water and his hands crept through her horns. The gentle slide of the cloth was easily perceptible, a shift of weight and echoing sensation in the living core. A stranger’s hands, and she was just…sitting there. She couldn’t quite get her head around it. But he was right. It wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be.

“Make an appointment for next month, when you’re on your way out,” he suggested, setting the cloth back and uncapping some other sort of oil. This one, in sharp contrast to the polish, let off a surprisingly pleasant smell. Faintly sweet, and reminiscent of the lighter oils Ethari used on some of his woodcraft. A pang of nostalgia, just shy of homesickness, stabbed through her gut. “That way it’ll be all sorted for next time.”

“Mm.” She shrugged lightly, noncommittal, a little perturbed at the little secretive thing unfurling in her chest that wanted to come back. Not for the mortifying ordeal of having her horns handled, certainly not, but…

With the finishing oil applied, Callum released the drawstrings from around her horns and pulled the hair-cover away. “All done. Take a look,” he invited, nudging her head up, and reached out to remove the gown while she automatically looked where he’d pointed her. For a moment, she was utterly stunned, wide-eyed at the unfamiliar sight of her horns gleaming darkly in the mirror, perfect to the every ridge. She was still silent when he spoke again, saying “See? Just like I told you. Your horns polish up really nicely.”

She looked up reflexively, expression unguarded, and could do nothing to stop the quicksilver flush that his words brought to her cheeks. He was smiling at her, wide and genuine and a little lopsided.

It took what felt like far too long for her to manage to speak. “I suppose?” She offered, averting her eyes to the mirror, where she watched herself schooling her face into something a little less transparent.

He patted her shoulder, friendly, then reached out a hand – five-fingered and alien – to help her up. She stared at it for a moment, then took it. His fingers were warm, and soft from horn-oil. She could feel a trace of it left on her skin when he let go. “It was good to meet you, Rayla,” he said, with that same smile. “Maybe I’ll see you next time.”

She averted her eyes for a moment. “…Maybe.” She agreed, finally, and managed to master herself enough to flash a tentative smile back at him. “Er. Thanks, Callum.”

Rayla was a little too busy trying not to look outwardly flustered to pay much attention to the next few minutes, but as she found herself escorted back to the reception area, she felt strangely disappointed to see the door close on her ceracurist. The receptionist was eyeing her appraisingly as she eventually summoned the presence of mind to go fishing for her money.

“Looks like he treated you well enough. You’re not all tense anymore.” They observed, looking pleased for some reason. “Good on you for not making a fuss, either.”

She blinked, drawn out of her reverie. “What would I make a fuss about?” She questioned, taken-aback.

“He’s human,” the receptionist said, like it was obvious. “People can be stupid about it sometimes. But you weren’t, which is nice, because otherwise we’d have had to throw you out with bad horns, and that would be embarrassing for everyone. I assume I’m booking you in for next month?”

Rayla was still trying to process the words and didn’t register the question for a moment. Distractedly, she said “Yes? I think?”

The receptionist eyed her. “Three weeks,” they decided. “We’ll book you in for waning crescent. Callum works weekends and Wednesday afternoons only, so if you want another time, you’ll need to go with a different ceracurist.” They looked at her expectantly. For a second Rayla was flustered by the implied suggestion, but then she realised that it was probably just standard practice for people to see the same ceracurist every time. Certainly it would be less uncomfortable that way. She couldn’t even imagine having to put her horns into the hands of a new stranger every month.

She cleared her throat, blinked, then tried to consult her mental schedule. “Three weeks…” she muttered to herself, thinking. “Er. Wednesday afternoon?”

They flipped through their papers, squinting. “Four-thirty? He’s pretty booked for the rest of that window.”

“That works,” she said, hoping her voice sounded normal and not-flustered, and supplied her name to have it written into the schedule. It was another weird anachronism; most people would have written it into a computer, but here this elf was using a notebook instead. It was set aside by the potted plant once closed; the plant in question broke off from its recitation of music to mimic the sound of the doorbell note-perfect. That was the problem with melodaisies. You could teach them all the music you liked, but as soon as they heard someone whistling, they might well just start imitating that instead.

“Thanks for coming,” the receptionist said, after shooting an exasperated glance at their plant. “We’ll see you next month.”

Rayla took the hint, and went at once for the door. She escaped with the ring of a bell, a palpable sense of relief, and considerably shinier horns than she’d gone in with.

 ---

End chapter.

 Notes:

Welcome to the first meet-cute I’ve ever written! Also the first story whose entire purpose is essentially romance. Because it’s me, there is a broader potential plot thread at work, as well as cool worldbuilding, but given I have no idea how much of this I’m actually going to write, I’m not really worrying about that too much at this point.

Hope everyone had fun with this first chapter, and that everyone is curious about what the heck is up with Callum.

 Story notes-

 Setting:

I’d loosely describe the setting as canon spliced with piaj twisted by most of a millennium of alternate history and technological development. Essentially, it’s sort of a modern AU, but not really.

Because this story is for fun, I’m wiping real-world-modern vibes over it wherever I want to/think I can justify it, and same goes for my own personal university experience vibes.

 Worldbuilding:

A great, great deal of the worldbuilding is taken from my primary project – Peace Is A Journey – and adapted for the alternate historical context that this setting involves. I have even borrowed several elf OCs (at least three) from piaj and its sequel. History in this setting diverges from canon some time after the banishment of humans from Eastern Xadia – though I’ve not narrowed the timeline down precisely, it’s likely that the first couple hundred years of history went very similarly to how I’ve ironed it out in piaj, though this isn’t likely to be hugely important.

However, despite the similarities, this AU’s broader global history and foundational metaphysics are completely different to piaj. Worldbuilding and metaphysical specifics that aren’t incompatible with this difference, which is most of them, remain.

I’ve involuntarily put a fair amount of thought into the setting’s worldbuilding, and a lot of it is pretty cool, but considering it is a for-fun project, I’m not too concerned about specifics or ‘balancing’, so to speak. This means that I will be trying not to put huge amounts of thought into why some technologies are advanced and some aren’t. I am trying to keep the Worldbuilding Complexity setting to a dull roar, pretty much, and only develop the stuff that matters.

 Glossary:

Ceracurist: a professional horn-salonist; one who cares for horns. From Greek ‘keras’, horn (same root as keratin or polycerate), and Latin ‘cura’, care (same root as manicure or pedicure or even cure). Technically this sort of root-mixing is sometimes seen as bad form, but it works just fine in context.

Mageskein: magic internet, pretty much. This is used almost exclusively in Eastern Xadia.

Gullcrest: an elven city located along the southern coast of Eastern Xadia. The majority of the story will take place here. The base concept and location of Gullcrest was taken from piaj worldbuilding and heavily adapted for the Ceracurist setting.

 Extras:

A picture demonstrating an unpolished and a polished bull horn from the same pair, to demonstrate how much of a difference it makes.

#rayllum #tdp fic #tdp rayla #tdp callum #meet cute #modern AU #sort of #College AU #also sort of #Alternate history AU

[myimaginarywonderland]

Okay, so this post will talk about Lance but I will also give my opinion on the Lando situation since I think it is important.

First off, I think it says a lot about Lando that he made an apology. Now, be it because of the backlash he faced, because he actually saw the harm he was causing or because he genuinely regrets it, that is something I don't know. What I do know is that by apologising for it, he acknowledges that his behaviour was wrong and that is really important because it shows that he reflected on himself.

While I do still feel irked by something about the message, be it that he isn't naming Lance or Lewis who he both targeted with his actions in different ways and apologise to them directly which he might have done in person, so I am not able to judge it or be it the weird sorry at the end, I can put aside my feelings and say that this was the right thing to do and is also setting an example for his fans who were one of my main issues with all of this. They then know that saying that was not right and might learn from it themselves.

But this post isn't about Lando. This post is about Lance.

As most of you might have heard, Lance was really affected by what happened on track. He can clearly see that he is anxious and uncomfortable in his post race interview and what happened afterwards tells the story (I don't really want to talk about it because this is something private that he did not share and it is like with the story on Twitter something that was shared by other people who he didn't give the right to share it too so I don't want to spread it any further.)

This is who Lance is.

Someone who is sensitive and takes a lot of things personally.

You want to know why? Because he has, as a person, always been blamed for his dad's wealth. As if he choose to grow up with a billionaire dad. As if he is somehow responsible for it.

And he has always been painted out as someone undeserving, someone that doesn't have talent and totally owns his position to the money of his dad.

Now, let me just give you some data because I want to totally discredit this made up stuff with no roots.

In 2015, he won the Toyota Racing Series. He won by a bit over 100 points. The second finisher was his teammate. You might now some of the other drivers who competed in this series for example one Callum Iliot or Artjom Markelow.

Or in 2016,his first season in Formula 3, he finished fifth. The winner of that year was Felix Rosenquvist (a great driver) who was also Lance teammate and had only one DNF in comparison to Lance 5 and a DSQ. Now, there are two other drivers, one that was the runner up in Antonio Giovinazzi and a fourth who was Charles Leclerc. Pretty competitive field if you ask me and to finish 5th as a rookie,is impressive.

Now, fast forward a year to when he won the F3 championship. He won over his teammate by a margin of over 150 points which is so impressive, even with the two more DNFs his teammate, Maximilian Günther (another great driver) had that is quiet a lot.

Now, if you really want to use the argument that he skipped F2 against him, there is another driver you should be discrediting just as much. You guessed it, M*x V*rstappen. He also went straight into F1 which was a definite mistake but nobody ever likes to say that. I would also like you to remember that Lance did not drive for F1 as a regular driver immediately after he won the championship, no in 2016 he was a test driver, so he could slowly get used to F1. (This is not official but I would guess it's the thought process behind him being a test driver.)

Now, in 2017, his first F1 season, he was teammates of Felipe Massa. Might have heard of him, lost his championship to Lewis by one point, was teammate of Micheal Schumacher and a generally way more experienced driver. Yeah, you wanna know what the difference between him and Lance was in Lance first season? 3 points. And Lance had 2 more DNFs. You know what else he got in his first season? His first podium. In his first season, he became one of the youngest people to ever achieve a podium. With just 7 rounds into his first F1 season, in an okay midfield car with a way more experienced and older driver he was up against, he achieved a podium. And during the entire course of the season, that would remain the only podium for the Williams team that year.

Now, onto 2018. Williams was not as bad as in 2019 but they were still nowhere in terms of pace and he still didn't finish last in the championship (but I don't think we can count this season.)

In 2019, Checo became his teammate. And Checo in my opinion is one of the best midfield drivers, so there was already a lot he had to go up against and he was still so young and had less experience. There is a 30 point difference between them. Make of that what you want but for me, sure it was not Lance greatest season but now you have to think if Racing Point where really that good go be the fifth best car or if maybe, Checo just got more out of the car with his experience and talent. And than, you have to consider that he was still young and only had one season where he was truly competitive (that 2018 Williams was not something you could truly challenge anyone with.) And to then be up to one of the best midfield drivers who is widely appreciated and adored by the paddock, is a lot. Maybe for some of you it was too big of a gap which is alright.

However, don't dismiss his talent. He has had a good junior career and was up to some of the drivers you love and call talented, he even beat some of your faves. Maybe you don't see him as the next great driver but he is not a bad one and truly deserves a seat if you consider his achievements. Maybe he could have proven himself more if he had a season in F2 which is fair but that doesn't take away from anything he has achieved.

And even if you don't see him as talented, that gives you no right to bully him online. He can't change who his dad is.

Now,onto the money. I see a lot of people saying that he is only in F1 because of the money (which I hope you have by now realized is not the case.) But really, let's talk about the money.

Money is something that sadly plays a big role in F1. F1 is above all still a business. And businesses want money. So, why not take someone who has money and talent like Lance? Where are you all saying Michael only got his seat because of money (he is a pay-driver after all or at least he was one when he came to F1.) And now let's talk about his move to Racing Point. Can you truly blame Lawrence for wanting to make his sons dream come true? Wouldn't any father if they had the resources do this? Wouldn't any father want to fufill his son's dream, even if it might be seen as unethical by some or criticized? Would you really care if you saw how happy your kid was? Would you really care if you saw the glow you kid had? I don't think so.

I already said it but he was at Williams before he was at RP. His dad doesn't own that team or have any chairs in it.

Let's forget his profession for a second. Let's say you don't find him talented as a driver or just don't like him, fine. You are entitled to your opinion and sometimes we just don't like people, it happens.

What else would you have against him?

He doesn't post on social media often because people already bully him enough for his family. There is basically nothing you can dislike about him there.

And as a person? He is quiet and basically does nothing to anger people. He is literally just a normal dude. He goes on trips with his friends, he does sports to stay in shape and watches sports. He is not even posting personal stuff because he doesn't want to give people more room to bully him.

If you saw him on the street, would you think he is from a rich family? He does not look like it at all, he looks like that guy from your local sport who is literally just a college student trying to get through life.

And not only was he discredited for all his accomplishments because of something he had no control over but he also saw another driver proudly display a symbol that has been used by people who killed people who belonged to his religion. He saw a driver weat that symbol in cooperation with a company whose boos seems to be a Neo Nazi.

Lance has had to go through to so much shit just because his dad was rich (which Nicky's and Lando's also are, yes I know it's less but it's still more than any of us will probably ever have.)

This boy does nothing wrong.

Did he make a mistake with the maneuvers on Lando? Yes. But he is still so young and also new to F1, he can still learn and is growing as a person and driver. He is expected to perform more just so he proves his worth which he already has because people discredit him for having a rich dad.

Have you seen what he has done this season? He would be in the top 5 had it not been for the last races where none of the DNFs where his fault. Neither was getting Covid or being ill but people literally made fun of him for being in pain, saying stuff like "Did Daddies boy have a little stomach ache?" Yeah, because F1 drivers aren't trainex to perform no matter what, aren't putting their health last when it comes to these things and might have to be really bad if they can't drive and are not even going out of their room.

He has improved so much, he is not blaming other drivers even if they clearly hit him (see Charles) and he stays calm. Because he can't afford to be to emotional since some people would hate him for rightfully calling out others mistakes and just maybe saying that their faves are not flawless and make mistakes (like Charles.)

He has to act a certain way or be a certain way because what would happen if he just showed more of his personality? You call him dull, boring but you don't even try to get to know him. You don't even look up videos where he is more open and comfortable.

He is awkward infront of the press because he has to fear to be discredited or to be questioned about his worth every second.

And all of this pressure, this mask and this pretend eventhough he is just as human as the rest of us. And you see how hard it is, how much he questions himself, how his self-doubt increases and ultimately what happened has happened.

Because while it is just an easy insult for you that you can post anonymously online, it is one of thousands for him.

And you know, he didn't grew up in Europe. Sure he competed with some of the European drivers later one but he didn't have any of them when he started racing and he might already have been an outcast because people would already have seen him as different since his family didn't need to make sacrifices to get him to wear he is now. At least not financially ones. And then, when he came to Europe there were these already formed friend groups and it wasn't easy to get into them. The only friend he had was Esteban and I am so glad. This seems like such an unlikely friendship because they are from totally different backgrounds but that might have been what connected them in the first place. So, with basically only Esteban who liked him from the competitive times, it must have been pretty bad (not to say that the others hated him but I don't think they really cared for him.) I am so glad to see that he now also has Checo and that they get along and I hope that stays this way eventhough all of what has happened (which is also not his fault and I am sure that if he had any say in it, it would have been done differently.) Maybe we can even see their friendship when Checo stays on the grid. And with the potential of Seb next year, that might be the only other friendship or friendly connection he might form.

He is so strong for having to endure the dislike of so many people and he is still so kind and so sweet.

This has been a long post but one that I have wanted to make for a long time. If you got this far, I applaude you.

#f1 #lance stroll

[minimitchell]

callumhighwayweek day 3 - “You just left!” (ao3 link)

.

October in Walford is this weird mixture of the last remnants of summer flooding the days with sun and warmth, and autumn plunging the neighborhood in greys and dark clouds. It’s this strange combination that means you never know if how you dress in the morning will still be appropriate in the evening.

Today, the sun bathed the day in golden hues, warming the streets and sending everyone out into the parks and beer gardens one last time. Even now, with the sun long gone and most shops closed for the night, it’s not exactly cold, only a slight chill hanging in the air.

Callum is on his way home from work, having left his office half an hour ago when he realized there was no way he was gonna get all that paperwork done today. He loves being a social worker, he really does, but he could really do without all the bureaucracy.

He’s contemplating whether he can justify getting some chips for dinner tonight when he passes right by the Prince Albert. There’s music blasting inside the bar and spilling out onto the street; the sound of laughter and chatter from the people milling around outside filling in the air.

Callum has gone there a few times himself, mostly because it’s close to home and not as tacky as a lot of other gay bars in London. He can’t help but feel a bit envious of all the punters and party-goers there today; they’re definitely having a much better day than he is.

His gaze travels over the people standing around the metal tables outside the Albert; over the people smoking, talking and flirting with one another. He watches them until he reaches a couple off to the side a bit, huddled in the corner between the bar itself and the building next to it.

The way to his apartment leads him directly past the two men and he gets a closer look on them when he draws nearer. The guy pressed in the corner is more than a head shorter, oversized denim jacket hanging over a tight, burgundy shirt. Callum can’t see his face from his current angle, his view shrouded by the taller man standing in front of the guy. One of his arms is outstretched against the wall next to the shorter guy’s head and he’s not only taller but also wider, muscles bulging under his ridiculously tight shirt.

They make an odd couple but who is Callum to judge anyone. Just because he doesn’t have a relationship at the moment, hasn’t had one for quite a while to be honest, doesn’t mean he gets to pass judgement on others.

Upon stepping closer and closer to the pair though, Callum realizes the situation isn’t at all what he had previously thought. Because from where he’s coming to a stop now, only a few meters away from the two men, it doesn’t look like they’re a couple at all - quite the opposite in fact.

He can now see the face of the man being pushed in the corner and he definitely doesn’t look very interested in the other guy. He keeps leaning away from the man and rolling his eyes, looking down into his pint glass or looking over the other guy’s arm for something. What, Callum isn’t really sure of. But it’s clear the taller guy is blocking him from leaving the situation.

It only takes a second for his brain to decide he needs to step in. He needs to intervene.

There’s no way he could ever square up to this guy and his bulging muscles though so he does the next best thing he can come up with in that brief moment it takes him to cross the street to get to the two men - he creates a lie.

“Kevin? How dare you, we were supposed to be getting married today. I stood there at the altar and you- you just left! And now you’re here frolicking?”

The guy in the corner looks torn between laughing in his face at the ridiculous line he came up with on the spot and being grateful Callum’s giving him an out. Callum knows his acting is completely over the top, pearl-clutching and dramatic breathing bad, but it seems to do the trick. When he looks over at Muscles the man looks exasperated and he’s finally retracting his arm from the wall between Callum and the other bloke.

“Are you the reason he left me? Because he will do it again, you know.”

The man mouths an irritated ‘what the fuck’ before he shakes his head and heads away from them, disappearing around the corner with not even a glance black at them. Callum watches him leave, making sure that he’s really gone and not just lingering somewhere until Callum is gone again, before he turns back around to face the other man.

He’s leaning back against the brick of the building now, looking up at Callum in amusement. Up close, Callum finally has time to take in his face, noting how his pretty, blue eyes are sparkling with mirth and how his nice, pink lips are twisted into a smirk.

“I don’t know whether to thank you or be offended.”

“Sorry?”

Callum doesn’t remember saying anything that could’ve offended the other man but now that he’s said it, his brain starts going a mile a minute, recounting every word. Maybe it was stupid for him to assume that he needed to be saved by Callum and couldn’t defuse the situation on his own.

Thankfully, the bloke takes pity on him before he can overthink this even further.

“Do I honestly look like a Kevin to you? I feel like that’s an insult. And I don’t know how I feel about apparently leaving you at the altar. Seems pretty stupid.”

Callum huffs out a laugh, tilting his head to the ground to mask the smile breaking out on his own face now. He isn’t sure whether he should take the guy’s flirting seriously or not, but he can feel his cheeks heat up anyway.

“It was the first thing that came to my head, okay. Don’t take the mick now.”

He isn’t sure where all this confidence is coming from right now. It’s not that he’s shy or anything, but he usually isn’t the best at flirting with guys he doesn’t know. But this guy in front of him just has an aura about him that calms him and gives him that tiny boost to flirt back.

“Well, I’ll be forever grateful, strapping young stranger.”

Callum is just about to reach out his hand and introduce himself - he doesn’t exactly know why, he just knows this guy is drawing him in an almost miraculous way - when the guy gives him a wink and walks back towards the entrance of the bar.

The guy only turns around again when he’s already pulling the door open, hand wrapped around the metal handle, giving Callum another small smirk and a very obvious onceover.

“See you around, hero.”

Callum watches him disappear back into the bar, leaving nothing but a growing curiosity behind.

It takes him embarrassingly long to continue his way back home.

.

Callum can’t help but let his thoughts drift back to the stranger again and again over the next few weeks. He lies awake at night and thinks about his pretty blue eyes and his devilish smirk. He zones out while he’s doing paperwork at the office and imagines all the ridiculous ways they could meet again - at the café, while grocery shopping, while he’s out on a run. All the romcom clichés possible.

He thinks about going back to the Albert and looking for the guy multiple times a week but he doesn’t want to come off as desperate. He has an unsubstantiated crush on a stranger, he doesn’t want to add the term stalker to the mix of things already swirling around in his head. Who even gets lovestruck like that anymore?

Callum’s not a teenager; he’s had relationships. So he doesn’t understand what it is about this one guy that drives him crazy likes this. It’s like he subconsciously knows there’s a reason they met; a reason why he’s so drawn to him. There’s something special there.

It simultaneously intrigues and scares him.

It’s also, just maybe, the reason he suggested going to the Albert when Frankie brought up the idea of a family night out. They’re not biologically family, all of them, but he’s grown up with the Carters and he’s been around them more than his own family. So he’s like an honorary Carter. To him, they are as much his siblings like his biological brother is.

Tonight, it’s him, Nancy and Frankie all settled around a table away from the dancefloor with a good view of the whole club. Callum is sitting with his back to the bar, knocking back one of the many shots Frankie made them buy, scrunching up his face in disgust. He’s not a hard liquor guy; it goes to his head way too quickly and the result is almost always him embarrassing himself in some way.

Your turn.

Frankie points at the cocktail glasses on the table after she signs the words, bright smile on her face. Callum loves his sisters, he does, but they do take advantage of him being nice way too much. He grumbles but he still gets up and makes his way to the bar regardless.

It’s only when he squeezes past the people blocking his way and his view of the bar is clear, does he see a face he didn’t think he’d see again behind it. A face he desperately wanted to see again. It’s the guy from the other week, only this time he’s only wearing a black dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms.

Yeah, Callum’s definitely interested in him.

He slides up to an empty space at the bar, waiting for the man to finish up with his current customer and take his order. Recognition washes over the guy’s face when he turns and faces Callum, the same smile from before tugging at his lips.

“Hero! What a nice surprise.”

His voice is even smoother than it was in Callum’s memory and he does seem pleasantly surprised to see Callum in front of him right now. It calms the erratic beat of his heart a little, because it’s better than disinterest or the guy not even remembering him at all.

“I didn’t know you worked here.”

It’s a ridiculous thing to say because he doesn’t know the guy at all; doesn’t know the first thing about him really.

“I don’t. Just helping out my mum for the night - she owns this place.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

The guy keeps looking at him and Callum is almost embarrassed to admit that he gets a little lost in his eyes, drowning in a sea of blue and grey. The moment stretches, their gazes locked on another for what feels like an endless time, but is probably only a few seconds. The guy seems to shake himself out of it after a moment, closing his eyes and seemingly shifting back into business mode.

“What can I get ya?”

“Uh, two Strawberry Daiquiri and a pint, please.”

His order is met with a nod and a sly smile and the guy gets to work straight away. Callum follows the movement of his hands with his eyes, watching as he grabs the bottles of alcohol and starts mixing the drinks.

“You here with some friends?”

It takes a second for Callum to register that the guy is still talking to him, trying to keep their conversation going while he’s making Callum’s order. It makes heat travel to his cheeks, because surely this means there’s at least some interest there from the guy as well.

Or maybe he’s just looking to make a good tip.

“Family actually. Well, kinda.”

The drinks soon appear in front of him and Callum scrambles to pull his card out of his wallet, when the guy behind the bar darts a hand out to stop him. In doing so, he touches the back of Callum’s hand with his fingers, making goosebumps break out over his arm at the touch. It’s like a current is running from his fingers right to his heart.

“It’s on me. Little thank you for the other night.”

He gives Callum a wink, smile still firmly in place. Callum can’t put it any other way, he’s completely bewitched by him.

“Well, thank you. Kevin.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.”

Callum gives the guy one last, flirty smile before he gathers his drinks and focuses on getting back to the table in one piece. The last thing he wants is to embarrass himself in front of the man right now. He does however hear the faint question from the other bartender about why he called the guy Kevin.

There’s adrenaline flowing through his veins though and he can barely conceal the stupid glee on his face when he joins the girls back at the table, sliding their drinks over to them. He almost feels like a little schoolboy again, getting the guy he has a crush on to notice him and flirt back and feel fucking good about it.

They fall back into easy chatter, talking about their work and what’s happening in their lives. Callum conveniently leaves out any details about the guy he’s infatuated with, only telling them about their first meeting in vague details. They think he should go for it, find the guy and ask him out. If only they knew the guy is closer than they think.

Nancy seems more and more distracted throughout the evening though, looking behind Callum again and again until finally, she slaps his arm and leans forward to him.

“Okay, don’t turn around now but the fit bartender keeps looking over at you.”

Frankie runs her hand through her hair to mask her looking over to the bar but when she looks back at him her eyes are as wide as the smile on her face and she pats his forearm excitedly a couple of times.

“Oh my god, he is. Cal, go get his number.”

“What? No, I can’t just do that.”

They don’t agree with that sentiment.

Over the next hour they keep pestering him about going back to the bar and getting the guy’s number. It’s futile to argue with them, he knows that from many, many experiences growing up, but he’s adamant that he’ll just make a fool out of himself and that they must be mistaken about his apparent interest in Callum.

In the end, he comes back from the loo to an empty table and a text from Nancy saying ‘go get him. we’re rooting for you xx’. Callum sighs and falls back into his chair, tipping the last of his pint into his mouth. He should’ve seen it coming; they were way too giddy about him going to the bathroom.

So much for a family night out.

He’s about to pocket his phone to call it a night when a bottle of beer appears on the table in front of him. When he follows the arm attached to it, he finds the guy, Kevin, on the other end, a beer in his own hand as he sinks into the seat opposite of Callum.

“Ben.”

It’s all he says and the confusion must show on Callum’s face because he huffs out a laugh and continues.

“My name is Ben.”

He tips his beer bottle towards Callum, waiting until he grabs his own and clinks them together in a silent toast, bringing them both to their lips in perfect sync.

“So not even close to Kevin.”

“Not even close.”

They share another smile with each other and it might be the alcohol flowing through his veins but from where Callum’s sitting Ben looks more than interested in him. More so, he looks almost hungry, full off barely restrained want now.

Maybe he’s also dying to get to know him; inspired to turn their chance meeting into something more.

“Hm. I’m Callum.”

“Nice to meet you, Callum.”

Ben buys them another drink once they’re finished and Callum doesn’t even notice the hours ticking by, too enthralled in getting to know Ben. They stay until the other bartender yells at Ben that she wants to close up and when they leave the bar with loud laughter spilling onto the street outside, Callum doesn’t feel an ounce of hesitancy when he accepts Ben’s invitation to continue the evening at his flat.

He feels good about this one. Really good.

He thanks his lucky stars for chance meetings.

#chweek2021 #callumhighwayweek2021 #ballum fic #my writing #this kinda got away from me #my attempt at humor i guess

[concealeddarkness13]

All’s Fair In Love And War (Especially When It’s Both) Powerpoint!

I finally made one for the worldbuilding and main characters! Tagging: @ratracechronicler​, @merigreenleaf​, @maple-writes​, @half-litpersonas​, and @incandescent-creativity​ (since you want to be tagged in Powerpoints)! Here, here, and here are other info posts about this story.

[Image Description: a page titled: All’s Fair In Love an War (Especially When It’s Both)

AKA: The story I already want to start writing, even though I already have plenty of stories. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Overview

One bit happy world

Except the fact that humans are stuck in a fairly small enclosure because they tried to conquer the other species centuries ago

At that time so long ago, a scientist made prosthetics that gave elemental magic to people but also adversely affected their bodies

More info on the magic in a later slide

So, humans aren’t very happy about being in the enclosure

Some humans have come to believe that being 100% peaceful and ignoring the victims of the magical cyborg experiments (because they’re still going on) is the best way to convince the species to let them out

While other humans are convinced that a show of force and violence is the only way to get out

But this group has shady connections with the magical cyborg experiments

So, both groups are iffy

Good thing there’s one POV protagonist who couldn’t care less and just wants to live her life. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: The Species (almost all these names are temporary)

Humans: Just regular, old, plain humans, nothing to see here, they certainly don’t have any inherent magic (that the author still knows nothing about), just the magic that is given to them through the prosthetics

The Shades: (Yes, this is the home world of the Shades from Bring Me That Horizon) the Shades eat human emotions, and they’re shapeshifters

The Snakes: This species feeds on human blood, they have snake scales, longer limbs in proportion to their body, large eyes, slit pupils, and snake scales all over their bodies; they have paralyzing toxins that are aerosols and are secreted by their hair; these toxins only paralyze humans

The Venus Girdles: This species feeds on human souls, they have hair that looks like a lot of Venus Girdle jellyfish fused to their head, they glow slightly, and they just have an ethereal feel; they feed using their Venus Girdle hair coming into contact with the prey’s skin and sucking up the life force, so a human can still live, and their soul will replenish the life force after a while; the feeding isn’t painful, just makes the human feel really tired

The Crabs (I suppose): This species claims to feed on human logic, they have carapace that grows over their skin, especially on their chest to protect their hearts, they’re usually faster and stronger than humans, and they have slit pupils; they actually feed on the inherent magic humans have (surprise, surprise the prosthetics are not even needed), and their carapace is especially anti-magic

The Celestials: This is a species no one has ever seen, but there’s a whole belief system around them, and they are actually real; I don’t know what they eat, but they live out in space around the planet, they protect the planet from invaders, their skin looks like the night sky, their hair and clothes are all flowy and wave in an ever-present wind, and they can change their body’s make-up to fit the atmosphere of the planet or space. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: The Magic from the Prosthetics

It’s elemental magic...with a nefarious twist!

The fire magic lets a person control fire, but the source of their fire resides in their lungs, and if they exercise too much or get stressed out, the fire stokes and burns their throat (but they can breathe fire), and occasionally, they’ll have to cough up smoke

The water magic allows a person to control water and swim really well, but after a year, they grow gills, and that’s a painful process, and randomly, their bodies will forget how to use lungs, so they will have to breathe through their gills for an unspecified amount of time, which sucks if there isn’t a good water source around

The wind magic allows a person to control air, but they grow wings, which sounds great, but it takes two to three years to grow those wings, and it’s very painful throughout the whole process, and they hurt more than they should even after the wings are fully grown

Finally, the lightning magic allows a person to control lightning, but they basically have lightning in their bodies the whole time, which means that they have 24/7 static electricity that makes their hair stand on end, and the energy the lightning gives their bodes means they really can’t sleep, which really sucks, so they’re chronically tired. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Characters

I have way too many characters

Seriously, there are a lot of them

So, I’ll only talk about the really main characters

But I’m having fun, so it’s ok! End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Chess

One of the POV characters

She was part of the most recent cyborg experiments (which are still going on), but she doesn’t remember any of it; her right arm and left leg are prosthetics

Actually, she doesn’t remember anything past two years ago, so she doesn’t know who she was before that

Because she was part of the cyborg experiments, people don’t particularly like to see her if they can identify her prosthetics

So, she keeps moving from city to city once people start to recognize her prosthetics

Survivor; the only time she doesn’t prioritize survival is when she goes to a bar and picks up someone so she doesn’t have to sleep alone

She doesn’t believe anyone would do anything for reasons other than selfish ones

Doesn’t trust anyone

Chill, though; she could see some alien she can’t explain and she’d just shrug; she also has no opinion on either of the different sides

One night, she’s found kissing the son of the leaders, and that causes a scandal

So, the leaders decide to cover it up by trying to say she’s really human and had been engaged to their son the whole time

Creed, their son, decides to cause some mischief, and she agrees

She keeps claiming that soon she’ll have to leave, but she never does

“I put my head down keep running away from it, anywhere I’m going can’t be worse than this, I need to get away before it pulls me in, I’m never ever getting close to anyone again.” (Right Left Wrong by Three Days Grace). End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Creed

He’s the son of the leaders

...But is he?

He’s known as Callum Miro Rey, but he likes the nickname Creed (spoiler reasons why)

When they met at the bar, he seemed to recognize Chess from somewhere, but of course, she doesn’t remember

He is genderfluid, and I’m still figuring that out; he likes he/him, they/them, and she/her on different days, and it changes every couple days normally

He seems to be easily amused and doesn’t have an opinion on whether peace or violence is the best way to go

He just likes to watch humans bicker about the different sides

Doesn’t seem to care about much, but he does seem to actually have some kind of fond feelings for Chess

They become partners in mischief, to more? Possibly.

“And now the silence screams that you are gone, you’ve tuned me out, I’ve lost your frequency.” (Frequency by Starset). End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Vesper

She is an important member of the peace group; she gives speeches about the logic of staying peaceful to get out of the enclosure

She grew up with parents who were hosts to the various ambassadors the different species would send inside the enclosure

Her parents always taught her to bury her emotions and never show that something affected her

While observing the ambassadors, she came to the conclusion that there was no way to fight the different species and expect to get out of the enclosure, that the only way to get out is to make the other species see humans as such a non-threat that they wouldn’t care about letting them out

Because she’s such a high rank in the peace movement, the violence movement sends the infamous demon twins, Thorne and Jude, to capture her

She’s logical, but she does have emotions, and she actually feels them very deeply, she just never shows them

And she’s also self sacrificial, very much so

“No one is coming to save you, the enemy means only to play you, and they take and they take and they give just a little.” (Save You by Manafest) End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Thorne

His full name is Thorne Ragnik (and I’m only saying this because I’m proud I actually thought up last names)

He’s part of the violence movement, one of the demon twins (even though they aren’t twins)

He grew up poor because both of his parents were part of the previous cyborg experiments, so they were ignored by society (because the leaders are part of the peace movement), and now he’s an orphan

As such, he stole to survive, and one day, he stole from Jude’s parents’ house, and Jude caught him

But instead of raising the alarm, Jude decided to help Thorne because he wanted to and also because of the mischief

They’ve both been part of the violence movement for a few years, and they’ve become infamous for capturing opponents to the violence movement in their special way

Which means dancing with their prey until the prey is thoroughly confused and dazed

Thorne is more of the serious one, but he also gets dryly dramatic really quick

He wears a normal suit most of the time. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Jude

His full name is Jude Laynor

His parents are nobles that believe in the peace movement

And he’s a trickster who loves mischief

So, he doesn’t get along with his parents much

And when he was young, he met Thorne when Thorne tried to steal from his parets’ house, and he didn’t care

He actually hangs out with Thorne a lot after that, and he’s one of the reasons Thorne becomes more lighthearted

He joined the violence movement with Thorne at the same time, and they quickly became known as the demon twins

He’s more playful and teasing, and he wears fancy, flashy stuff

He grins all the time. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Maisa

He’s a Shade who has taken an interest in Vesper

He’s actually part of a group of different species that are working to make sure the humans never leave the enclosure, and in fact, they want to control humans even more

Vesper came to the conclusion that peace is the only way on her own, but once Maisa took an interest in her, he started manipulating her to make her believe even more in the peace movement

He manipulates her by seducing her, because of course

And Vesper knows Maisa’s horrible, but she thinks her sacrifice is worth it to let other people out of the enclosure

Maisa’s selfish, possessive, and a jerk

He’s a shapeshifter, and he does change between male and female sometimes

He basically feels he’s entitled to Vesper (he’s so interested in her because she does feel deep emotions even though she doesn’t show them), so when Thorne and Jude capture her, he’s going to send minions after them. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Quin

He’s the final POV character, but he won’t show up as a POV right away

That’s because neither Chess nor Vesper know that there are humans living on the outside of the enclosure, so that reveal should be hidden a little

I’m not sure how yet, but Quin was captured by the group of different species that want humans to stay in the enclosure sometime before the story starts

They keep him as basically an animal in a small cage: they show him off to the other species to convince them that humans aren’t sentient (which the group knows isn’t correct, but they want the others to believe so)

The species speak in their language around him (that he doesn’t speak), but one day, while they’re showing him off, he speaks back to them in their language because he learned a few phrases from them talking it around him so much

Which leads to him getting tortured for interrupting their plans

Which then leads to the totally not inherent magic in humans coming to the surface for Quin and helping him escape

He’s scared and doesn’t trust people much

Which leads him to the becoming a part of a small group of one human and a few different species or half-species, who is moving around outside the enclosure (I don’t know all of the characters, so they’ll go on the extra characters powerpoint if I make one)

I’m not sure all that he’ll do in this story, but he’ll be fun! End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Aeflin

She is a human antagonist, she’s the scientist that is conducting the magic cyborg experiments now

She’s bubbly and happy, and she actually gives really good life advice

She just also doesn’t have very good ethics when she’s being a scientist

Very curious and will ask you tons of questions if she doesn’t understand what’s going on

She is with the other antagonist on the next slide, and they’re in a loving relationship. End Description]

[Image Description: a page titled: Naivi

She’s the second human antagonist, she’s working on the outside of the enclosure to destroy the other species

She’s charming and teasing, at least to people who aren’t her enemies

I don’t know all of her backstory, but she’s a victim, while she also does some horrible things

Duality!

I already know she’s going to be a fun character. End Description]

#writeblr #All's Fair #yes I know I said about the snake scales twice #but I'm too lazy to go back and fix it

[madroxed]

IF IT’S SAID AND DONE [EASTENDERS. CALLUM/BEN. A/N: POST 1/1/21.]

“I’m so sorry,” he says, and Ben throws his mug in the sink and slams the door shut as he leaves. Callum stays where he is, pushing the last of the Christmas biscuits around his plate until the sun goes down, listening to the ambient sounds of the street outside against the silence of the house.

Ben comes back at dinner time, mouth tight and a bag of cooling fish and chips in his hand that he throws on the table before dropping into his abandoned chair. Callum gets up to fetch the salt and vinegar.

“Tell me again,” Ben says, so Callum does. Lays the pieces out without embellishment. Even goes as far as explaining his chat with Jack and how he’d never wanted Ben to know. It’s damning, he knows it is, but he owes it to Ben and he owes it to himself to not be the kind of bloke who’d keep something like this from the man he loves.

He’s never seen someone eat cod as furiously as Ben is.

“We need our own place,” Ben says eventually. It’s not what Callum’s expecting and he’s caught with a mouthful of mushy peas.

“What?” he says when he’s finally able to swallow.

“Our own place,” Ben says, like Callum’s being slow. “We can’t be living under Dad’s roof when he finds out. We could move in with Stu and Rainie for a bit, but—” He pulls a face. “Still, might be better to have your brother around for a bit of extra muscle.”

Callum doesn’t know what to say. He’d been so sure he knew how this conversation was going to go, just needed to hear Ben say the words so he could let his heart fall to inevitable pieces.

It’s what he deserves.

Except—

“Callum,” Ben says, slapping his hand on the table between them to get his attention. The frown between his eyes in still there, and Callum resists the urge to reach across and smooth it out.

“Why aren’t you leaving me?” he says, and Ben reels backwards in his seat, staring at him. Callum’s never been able to read Ben’s mind no matter how well he knows him, and most of the time he thinks that’s probably a good thing, but right now he wishes he could.

“Don’t be so fucking daft,” Ben says after a moment, and he’s still angry but it’s shifted into something fuelled by hurt now. Callum really needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut. “I can’t believe you’d do something so stupid, and I have no bloody clue how we’re going to fix it, but I love you, you git. How can you still not get that?”

Because I’m not worth it, he thinks. Because people don’t choose me, not really. Because, because, because…

“I know you do,” he says instead, because he does. It’s not easy, knocking down the walls and masks and inch deep armour he’s been living behind for most of his life, but Ben did it. Did it ages ago when he looked at Callum and saw him. But— “You love your dad, too.”

“‘Course I do,” Ben says. “Hate him a lot of the time as well. But Cal, you’ve gotta know, besides Lexi I’d choose you over anyone.”

Callum laughs and it comes out sounding like a sob. It’s all too much — the relief of finally telling Ben, of hearing Ben say it’s okay, that they’re in it together — and then Ben’s there, wrapping his arms around him and holding him a little too tightly, and Callum sinks into it and lets the relief overwhelm him.

“I’ve got ya,” Ben says, pressing kisses against his hair. “You’re gonna dob this bastard in, and then we’re gonna deal with my dad, and it’s all gonna be alright, yeah? You and me against the world.”

God, Callum loves him so much it hurts.

“Our own place, huh?” Callum says when he’s calmed down enough to form words. Ben’s still holding him, leant down in a way that must be causing his back to cane, but he doesn’t move, just keeps stroking careful fingers through Callum’s hair.

“Sensible thing to do,” Ben says, and that bite of amusement’s back, the one that’s always made Callum’s blood burn. “Was thinking about it anyway, if we’re being honest.”

“Yeah?” Callum says, and Ben huffs a laugh against his cheek.

“Think about the future all the time,” Ben says. “Our future. Our family.”

It’s enough to make Callum want to start crying all over again.

The thing is—

The thing is, Callum doesn’t. Not because he doesn’t want it, but because he wants it too much, and thinking about it feels like a jinx. Yet another thing in his life for him to mess up.

Except he has messed up, and Ben’s messed up, and they’re both still sat here in Phil Mitchell’s kitchen having a cry and a cuddle and talking about their mistakes like actual goddamn adults.

“We’ll start looking tomorrow, yeah?” he says, and Ben hums in pleased agreement.

Nothing’s really changed. Callum’s still probably going to lose his job, no matter what happens, and Phil’s gonna be homicidal when he finds out. There’s Stuart to look out for, and Thompson’s bound to have some more sinister tricks up his sleeve.

It’s still a massive shit show.

Ben’s still here, though, and right now that’s enough.

Honestly? He’s pretty sure it always will be.

#ballum #ballum fic #eastenders #eastenders fic #ben x callum #i just really wanted to write something post friday's episode (and bc this story is dragging) #will probs put up on ao3 as well even though it's so teeny tiny #my fic

[raayllum]

articulation of need: a rayllum meta

My brain was thinking over a few different but interrelated aspects of Rayllum’s dynamic, canon s1-s3, and Through the Moon, so a few disclaimers before we begin:

Neither half of a couple, nor Rayllum, are or can be mind readers! That’s not a fair expectation for anyone in any kind of relationship. These kiddos are just deeply in love, and traumatized, and doing their best. That goes for both of them in all ways. Furthermore, this doesn’t mean that they aren’t compatible, or that the way Callum expresses love for her is lesser than how she expresses love for him. 

This is just a small pattern in their dynamic extrapolated upon + some hopeful ideas of how S4 could resolve it, if it’s something canon has picked on as well. Also not a flaw of canon or Rayllum if they don’t, this is just me being an English major who thinks about these two kids and their all consuming love for each other way too often. Okay? Okay.

With that out of the way, let’s get into it. 

Today we’re gonna talk about Rayllum and how they express Need.

Short form: Callum expresses that he needs Rayla mostly through action. Rayla expresses that she needs him through both action but, predominantly, word. Now, this is different from the usual way they show love to one another. Callum is very heavy on words of affirmation (always complimenting her, etc.), and Rayla shows affection through both acts of service and physical touch, like all those shoulder touches in season two and handholds in season three. But that’s the key difference: affection versus need.

So, let’s begin.

Precedent 

There is a pattern, however slight, of Rayla and Callum expressing their feelings for each other in ways we wouldn’t quite expect. Callum is talkative and open, with lots of words of affirmation for his loved ones: “Well you seem pretty great too,” “Every team needs good support,” “I am so proud of you,” and basically everything he’s ever said about Rayla. Rayla, meanwhile, is much more Moonshadow, doing lots of acts of service (aka every favour she does for Callum) and through physical touch / being a more overt protector. But when it comes to the development of their romantic relationship, the seeds of it are planted in the opposite manner we’ve come to expect.

Callum is quietly drawing her and holding things to his chest while he privately works it out.

Rayla is the one making first moves and talking too much, a lovable, flustered train wreck for anyone (and especially Callum) to see.

This goes back to the idea that Callum has a fantastic memory for spells, able to recall ones he saw only once very easily, due to their tie to art. But Rayla is the one who remembers exactly what people have said to her, even if they don’t; words haunt her in ways they don’t haunt Callum. (The only time we see him harken back to something that has already been said is with Harrow and Ezran regarding Sarai, and then Harrow’s death). For example:

And last but not least, the famous 2x07 scene contrasted with 1x02, where at the time we thought nothing was really getting through to Rayla, and it turned out that everything was. 

We even see this directly contrasted in early season one in regards to magic. Callum can’t remember what Claudia was saying, even though he was there for the spell, and she only got slightly cut off when it came to fulminus. But Rayla, through a little prior knowledge and word association, is able to realize that it wasn’t fool Claudia was saying, but fulminus. 

But why does all of this Matter, you ask? Well, here’s the thing...

Callum has never said he needs Rayla. Not the way she has repeatedly with him. And this shows up in a few ways, so without further ado, let’s shift from the precedent to the present.

Heartfelt Speeches

2x09, 3x01, 3x04, and 3x05 are the Heartfelt Speeches for these two, when it comes to getting all swept up in their feelings and affection for each other. So let’s put these four speeches, two each (and each pair a day apart from one another, in canon timeline) back to back and see the commonalities, shall we?

R: Callum, wake up! You’ve got to stay with me! Oh, Callum. Please come back. It doesn’t matter what you did before, I just want you to be okay again. Callum! I can’t lose you like this, you mean too much to me! Callum, I... I—

R: I agree with you, Sol Regem. Some humans are evil. But not this one. Not Callum. The only reason the Dragon Prince is alive is because of this human. He left his home and his family to save the egg, and he sacrificed everything so Azymondias could be born. He’s noble, and true. When we met, he could’ve had me captured or killed. But he didn’t. Because without knowing me or anything about me, he saw past human hatred, and did what he knew was right. He’s smart and kind and brave and he’s... My friend. My best friend. So please, allow him to pass into Xadia and help me take the Dragon Prince home. Because I don’t think I can do it without him.

Now, let’s look at Callum’s heartfelt, swooning speeches concerning Rayla.

C: You’re too good to feel this bad about yourself. I know that and you should know that. You have true courage and a big heart. I’ve seen you get knocked down so many times before, and every single time you get up again. That’s real strength. And... and you’re ten times funnier than any human I know. See? See, you know you’re amazing. You’re smart, and fast, and beautiful. Rayla, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

C: It’s because Rayla is a hero. Rayla’s brave. She saves people. Even when it puts her own life in danger and even when the odds seem impossible. Even when it means her own people might misunderstand and turn against her. Rayla is selfless, strong, and caring. That’s what makes her a hero. That’s what makes her Rayla.

Now look at the bolded, and look at how Callum’s speeches aren’t bolded at all. Can you tell what the difference is? Rayla’s speeches — pleas, really, for Callum’s life — are equally as complimentary as Callum’s in some ways in 3x01, but she also adds and keeps circling back to something that Callum never does. Rayla admits, out loud, to herself, Callum, and Sol Regem, that she needs him. 

The root of Callum’s speeches is admiration for her, explaining how he sees her, and why she should think better of herself. He loves and admires her kindness first and foremost, closely followed by her bravery and resilience, all qualities he thinks make her heroic. Now, Callum deserves credit where credit is due. His speech in 3x04 is particularly perfect and all things Rayla desperately needs to hear, while he also delicately dismantles so much of her verbal self loathing (even down to small things, like concern over her appearance; meta here). Nor does Callum viewing Rayla, rightfully, as a hero means he thinks she doesn’t also need help or needs to be saved sometimes; if anything, it’s the opposite.

But Callum’s speeches are about admiration and love, not need. See the difference? He’s not saying that he needs her, or that he can’t lose her, or that he can’t do this without her. But Rayla is, she continually does.

And we see this sort of pattern follow them into

Through the Moon

TTM is an inherently cyclical work, specifically about the patterns Callum and Rayla have formed with each other, and based off their parents’ relationships. Rayla follows in Runaan’s footsteps, leaving her lover behind and believing the fault is all in her. Callum follows arguably in his mother’s footsteps, supportive of a plan he doesn’t 100% approve of. However, we see the exact some precedent and pattern from the show follow them into TTM regarding need.

Now, by the time TTM rolls around, Callum has expressed that he needs Rayla, very clearly, in action. Following her down in 2x07 and risking himself by doing dark magic; jumping off the Pinnacle at just the slimmest chance of saving her in 3x09. We see this exact type of devotion play out again in TTM when he follows her into the Nexus and prepares to help her hunt down Viren, even if Callum still isn’t convinced (and understandably so) that Viren is actually alive.

Rayla is the one who consistently says, however, that Callum shouldn’t risk himself. Not even on her behalf. Callum worries about her, yes — god does he worry — but ultimately, Callum has only ever said, “Let me come with you.” He never outright says to her that the risk isn’t worth it, or that she shouldn’t do something dangerous without ultimately folding.

And again, Callum’s reactions and choices and relenting all make sense! He’s giving her agency, or feels helpless, or in 3x01′s scenario, literally does not have almost any other choice. He’s doing it out of respect, and because he knows Rayla. Even if it’s not her responsibility, she feels like it is, and Callum does his best to support her through it. To stand by her. But Rayla has a very different approach when it comes to prioritizing Callum’s safety and emotions, largely above all else.

C: There’s something after us! R: [Hanging up, unfurling her blades] Keep running.

R: Callum, Ezran, go.  C: But— R: Just keep it safe. R: Or it’ll blow you up until you’re dead. [...] If you die out there, I swear I’ll kill you!

C: In the end, I didn’t have the guts. R: Good.

R: It’s okay, Callum. I’m not asking you to come with me.

C: Getting Zym to Xadia is all that matters [Rayla reluctantly agrees] I’ll go back home VS If me dying is the only way for you and Zym to get across safely, then it’s time for me to meet the end. R: Calm down.

R: Okay, let’s do this. Just one more thing — I go into the portal alone [...] You said it was dangerous, I’m not going to risk both of us.

R: What are you doing here? Now we’re both trapped!

R: No! I’m going alone. Viren has taken away everyone I love — everyone except you. I can’t risk you coming with me.

We see this time and time again when Rayla puts Callum above the mission and her better judgement. Offering to go back into the tower in 1x03, going to the Banther Lodge and still getting the cube even if her life is now in danger in 1x04, wanting to tell Callum the truth so badly in 1x06 even if the egg is at risk, staying extra days at the Nexus in 2x01, allowing Claudia and Soren an inch in 2x02, putting herself on the ground and the boys safely on Phoe-Phoe in 2x03, saying that Callum doing dark magic doesn’t matter in 2x09, grabbing him instead of Zym in 3x01, etc. Rayla needs Callum, and we know this because she says it out right — in spite of trying to be independent her whole life in order to not need anyone — and because of TTM, where she leaves him because she needs him alive more than she wants to be happy with him. She’s asked him to stay in the past, but she can’t bring herself to do it now, because she feels too much like a liability.

However, the closest Callum ever comes to asking her to stay is in 3x08, but he never says the actual thing. Callum doesn’t really actually talk about how he feels during their argument in 3x08. He’s just guessing (or stabbing) at how Rayla feels: “You’re going to stay here and die out of pride? Honour, ‘redemption,’ it’s just pride!” “I know you feel guilty, but you’re not thinking straight!”

Callum doesn’t say “I need you,” or “I don’t want to lose you,” or anything along those lines, even if we know he’s feeling all those things. (Again, action over word). In many ways, it’s a perfect parallel as to why he gets pissed off at her in 1x06, when she’s the one dodging her feelings about their dynamic and focusing on his and the political. In some ways, this is communicated through his devotion to her. It’s not as though Callum doesn’t prioritize Rayla, he absolutely does. And Rayla absolutely needs someone who stays and runs after her, given everything in her history, culture, and personality. It’s already been a transformative, radical relationship for her, after being abandoned both short term and long term by her family before. She’s never had someone who stays, before. But I also think she needs Callum to ask her to stay.

Consequences

TTM comes closest. “I couldn’t lose you” and “I made the biggest mistake of my life, I could have lost you” are close to being “I need you” and “I need you to stay.” But it’s still buffered by an offer to come, to say that Rayla isn’t wrong to continually risk her life, just that Callum also deserves to be able to risk his life alongside her.

And again, I’m not going to say it’s bad writing if the show — or season four — never goes in this direction to rectify. TTM already had much more delicate work in regards to mental health and trauma than I was expecting the show or canon to have time for. A core part of the series is these kids taking a stand even if that means undertaking dangerous tasks;  you can’t have a story with heroes who go “Y’know, maybe I won’t try and stop the second coming of the most evil elf that’s ever existed.” 

But I do think it’d be very nice, and full circle, and important for Rayla to hear, from Callum, “It doesn’t always have to be you. You don’t have to sacrifice everything for everyone else. You think that you’re worth more than me and I can live without you, but that’s not true. I need you. I need you to stay,” given this pattern (mind you, possibly unintentional, but I don’t think so) set up in their dynamic.

Because that’ll be Rayla’s real test in season four. If and when Callum asks her to stay, can she say yes? Can she not only let Callum come with her, this time in life, but can she choose to stay with him through it all? Can she accept that someone needs her just as badly as she needs them?

Because I hope so. I really do.

#rayllum #caylangst #fun fact: while writing this my best friend came over to give me a rayla ornament for christmas so i have the best friends #/ am living my best life #i also cried while conceptualizing this meta and thought about 'stay' by gracie abrams a lot #ur welcome #analysis series #tdp meta #the dragon prince #analysis #arc 1 #through the moon #s4 #arc 2 #post ttm #parallels

[callumsmitchells]

to the future (ao3)

to all the anons who asked me for a nye fic and gave me prompts for it too - i hope you all enjoy this little fic with everything put into it x

one

It’s boiling hot in the club, far too hot, and clammy too. It seems as though everyone and their mother has had the exact same plan to see in the New Year, but right now, Ben’s regretting ever even thinking about it.

He’s in a foul mood, and has been all night, ever since his first steps into the club. Originally, the plan was for him and Jay to go out together, drink as much as physically possible, do the countdown together and then wake up the next day with the worst hangover in existence. But right now he’s just drinking to get through the night, because Lola’s there too. Lola, who has been seeing Jay for the best part of the last few months. Her and Ben get on like a house on fire usually, but Ben’s jealous that she now has all of Jay’s attention. Instead of having the best night out, he’s spending it playing gooseberry - and not even that, even worse than that - he’s being set up with Lola’s friend from home. Callum. 

He’s attractive, Ben will allow that. Attractive and tall and he’s got the most beautiful smile Ben reckons he’s ever seen. He smells good and his arms are utterly perfect and he fills out his white shirt as if it’s nobody's business. But still, Ben hates being set up like this. 

Callum stands next to him, and they watch as Lola and Jay dance. If it was anyone else, Ben would be cringing, but he somehow just accepts it, though his face shows he’s still in a mood. The music changes and more and more people rush to dance, even though there’s barely any room to breathe anymore. Ben can feel Callum’s breath hitting his cheeks, and he turns to face him, noticing that Callum’s crouching down a little bit, though it’s not berating. “Do you fancy another drink?” Callum asks, nodding in the direction of Ben’s hands, pointing out the now empty cup. 

Ben smiles softly, trying to hide it but he’s ultimately unable to do so. “Go on then.” Ben says. “I’ll come with you, leave the lovebirds in peace.”

Callum lets out a low chuckle and Ben wishes all the music would cease to exist, because he just wants to hear that properly now. 

So they get drinks together. And they talk, or rather shout over the music. It’s nice. Ben watches as Callum’s neck moves as he finishes off his drink, swallowing it down, and there’s a feeling of complete and utter want that just rushes through Ben suddenly. He’s aware it’s edging closer and closer to midnight as they walk back to the main dance floor, right where they’ve left Jay and Lola. Callum has his arms around Ben, guiding him there, because apparently he can see better with the extra few inches he has on Ben. They eventually make their way back, and Jay gives Ben a knowing look as Lola reaches up and pinches Callum’s cheek, laughing as he squirms away from her touch. 

The countdown starts, the DJ pausing the music temporarily, though the sound is even louder now with everyone counting down to the turn of the year. 

10

Everyone around them starts to join in on the countdown, the shouts getting progressively louder. Ben side eyes Callum, and notices that Callum’s doing the exact same.

9

Smiles start to grow on their lips, both of them threatening to burst out in a fit of laughter, just because they caught one another looking in their direction.

8

Callum nudges Ben’s shoulder softly, a shy grin on his face now.

7

Ben nudges Callum’s shoulder too, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes with how wide he’s grinning now, his annoyance of the evening long forgotten. 

6

“Do you want to?” Callum asks, his lips close to Ben’s ears, all hot. 

5

Ben nods, and turns his face to respond. “May as well.” He says, trying not to sound too pleased about the whole situation, but Callum can see right through him with that smile. 

4

Callum’s hands fall to Ben’s waist, holding him there. Into the last few seconds now, and it shows in everyone around them.

3

Ben hooks his arms around Callum’s shoulders, both of them facing each other now. He can see the blush on Callum’s cheeks, and he’s fairly confident he’s red in the face too, however well disguised that may be by the flashing lights up above them.

2

Everyone around them prepares, screams and shouts everywhere. The tension is palpable. 

1

Here goes nothing. This is happening.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The entire club explodes, confetti raining down from the ceiling, loud music suddenly playing again and Ben’s standing on the tip of his toes to kiss Callum. It’s hot and passionate for two people who only just met for the first time mere hours ago, but that just makes it better. Callum’s hands are on Ben’s waist still, his thumbs circling against his skin, and his touch is sending shivers right the way down Ben’s spine. Ben grins into the kiss, trying to reach higher and higher, falling deeper into the kiss itself and Callum struggles to hold them both up with his legs that are for some reason turning to jelly.

Callum pulls back for a moment, their foreheads touching. “Well that was a great start to the year.” He chuckles breathlessly. “Best New Years kiss I’ve had.”

Ben grins and bites his lips shyly. “Really?” He asks, his hands on Callum’s face now, feeling the heat of his cheeks under his touch. “Reckon I might need another one, you know, just to be sure.” 

Callum hums and leans in to kiss Ben once again, accepting the invitation without even so much as a second thought.

two

“Can you believe it’s been a year?” Callum asks. 

Ben’s sitting next to him, or rather, half on top of him. Callum’s threading his fingers through Ben’s hair, and it’s comforting. Ben hums and falls further into Callum’s touch. “Craziest year of my life.” He says, and it’s true. He’s fallen completely head over heels in love with Callum, and he never thought his life would turn out this way. But a year later, here they are, celebrating the New Year for the second year in a row, happy, in love, and as far away from any sweaty club as possible.

Callum’s leg might be going numb with Ben half sitting on it, but he doesn’t care one bit. It’s exactly where he wants to be. Ben in his lap, beer in his hand, family and friends surrounding them as they wait for the New Year to be rung in live on television. It’s somewhat of a low-key affair this year, but he doesn’t mind so much, because they’ve experienced the clubbing New Years together once before. “Are you all really setting off fireworks?” He asks lowly, fingers on Ben’s back, warming him up.

Ben looks towards him with a soft smile on his face. “Yeah.” Ben says. “We do it every year.” He sees the nervousness in Callum’s eyes, and rests his hands against Callum’s cheeks, just as he had done a year previously and it relaxes Callum almost instantly. “Hey, it’ll be fine. If it’s too much for you, we’ll come back inside.”

Callum smiles softly, and turns his head to the side, pressing a gentle kiss to the palm of Ben’s hand. “I don’t deserve you.” Callum whispers. “At all.”

“Course you do, don’t be stupid.” Ben whispers, fully aware that his family would be able to hear their conversation, even if there’s music blaring from the television and everyone’s chatting amongst themselves. “Come in the kitchen.” He says, and stands up, holding his hand out for Callum to grab. 

Ben’s family watches them, but they don’t say anything. They’ve welcomed Callum this year, and he spends most of his time around them now, it’s not unusual to see him and Ben cosying up to one another, nor holding hands. 

Callum watches as Ben shuts the kitchen door behind them, blocking out the sound from the living room where all the family and friends remain. Ben pulls him into a hug, letting Callum rest his head in the crook of Ben’s neck. His breathing slows down to a calm rhythm, inhaling and exhaling to the same beat of Ben’s hand running up and down his spine. 

“We can stay here if that’s what you want.” Ben says. “Nobody will care, they’ll understand.”

Callum sighs for a moment, and takes in the familiar scent of Ben. He kisses Ben’s neck softly and warmly and then pulls away. “I’m not ruining your New Year. I’ll be there. As long as I’ve got you, I’ll be fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Ben asks, running his thumb along Callum’s bottom lip.

Nodding, Callum smiles. “I’m sure.” He confirms and he’s just about to lean in for a kiss, a proper kiss, until there’s a short knock at the door and Lola pokes her head around. 

“We’re heading out now, there’s five minutes to go.” She says.

“We’ll get our coats in a second.” Ben says, and waits for her to leave them be. “Are you definitely sure?”

“Yes Ben.” Callum rolls his eyes, but it’s more teasing than anything else. “I’m definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent sure.” 

Ben chuckles softly and unravels himself out of their embrace, opening the kitchen door to reveal everyone filing out into the hallway, shrugging on all their coats. Ben picks up his coat first and then Callum’s, handing it to him with a warm smile. 

It’s freezing outside, breath visible as it swirls around in the air. Ben links his fingers with Callum and they walk hand in hand with everyone else, heading over to where all the fireworks line up. 

This year, there’s no countdown, not a proper one anyway. This year, they just rely on everyone around them to realise when midnight eventually hits, and when it eventually does, the fireworks set off all around them, not just from the Mitchell’s, but other displays too. They all light up the night sky dazzlingly, a multitude of colours exploding everywhere. Ben stands on the tip of his toes yet again, just as he did the year previously. His hands are cold against Callum’s face, but neither of them seem to care at all. Their lips collide, and it’s a familiar feeling now, even though it still sends tingles down their spine. Callum jumps as a firework booms overhead, but Ben keeps holding onto him until he forgets it all and focuses entirely on Ben, and kissing him. Callum pulls back for just a moment, just one tiny second as he tries to catch his breath. His eyes are still shut, and Ben’s all encompassing, surrounding him. “I love you Ben.” He breathes out and he eventually opens his eyes, finally watching Ben, and watching as his eyes light up at Callum’s words. “More than anything.”

“I love you too.” Ben says, his words barely above a whisper. “So much.”

three

This year, it’s another more relaxing New Year. After such a chaotic year, it’s welcome. This year, they finally got their own home, a space they can call their own. It’s still very much a work in progress, even months after moving in, because Ben’s discovered a newfound love for interior design and has been trying to make their home as perfect as possible for them. The original plan was for them to host a New Years party, but with Ben deciding that the house isn’t quite ready, they’ve put it off for a year, and instead, they’re all back at the Mitchell’s house, this time with more people there, given that the family constantly seems to grow each year. 

Music is playing, a cheerful song from years past, one that everyone seems to remember and know, judging by the amount of people tapping their feet or humming along. Callum’s sitting on the sofa, waiting for Ben to reappear with their drinks, and when he does, Callum watches how Kathy pulls Ben in, making him dance with her. A few people join in with them, though it’s mainly just the younger children being all hyperactive from the sugar rush and the excitement of finally being allowed to stay up way past their bedtimes. Ben puts their drinks down for a second, when he finally escapes his mum’s dancing as she moves onto one of the younger children, and there’s a bright red blush on his face but his complete and utter happiness is captivating.

“Come on.” Ben says, holding his hand out for Callum to grab. 

Callum shakes his head, though he’s laughing too, mainly because the whole situation is ridiculous, but also because he’s happy. “Absolutely not.” He says, and he’s adamant that he won’t get up and dance. “You’ve had too much wine. It’s gone right to your head.” 

“I don’t care.” Ben grins. “I want to dance with you.” He holds both of his hands out now, and squeezes the air to tell Callum to take his hands. 

They stare each other down for a moment, both of them teasingly narrowing their eyes at one another until Callum finally concedes, rolling his eyes and he lifts his hands up for Ben to take, which he does gladly, linking their fingers together with a bright and beaming smile on his face. Ben finally gets Callum dancing, though it’s more standing in one position and moving ever so slightly whilst everyone runs about around them, but he doesn’t care one bit, he’s enjoying seeing in the New Year with his boyfriend. The music changes over, though it’s only on for a minute or two before the presenters on the television announce that the New Year is only a minute away. Everyone stands up, all huddled around the television, trying to sneak a glimpse of what’s going on in the city, someone quickly hands out party poppers, making sure everyone has one to pull when the clock strikes twelve and chimes. They’ve decided not to set off fireworks this year, because the weather isn’t good enough for it, so party poppers and glitter confetti will have to do.

The countdown begins, ten right down to one. There’s excitement in the air, anticipation for what’s to come. People steady their hands on the party poppers, streamers and confetti, but not Callum. He holds onto Ben, the most precious thing in the world to him. Ben turns his face and watches Callum, watches as the lights hit his face, watches as his eyes light up too, and all the little freckles that are just sitting on his skin, right under his eyes and across the bridge of his nose. There’s only a few seconds of the year remaining and yes, Ben might be drunk, but he doesn’t care one bit. If anything, the alcohol in his system spurs him on. 

There’s shouts of happy new year, and suddenly tissue paper explodes everywhere and falls cautiously to the floor. Ben turns Callum’s head and presses an electrifying kiss to his lips, all passion and warmth and heat and there’s sparks flying everywhere. It’s perfect, and just as electric as their first kiss together was. When they eventually pull apart, streamers and confetti are stuck in their hair, but they don’t focus on that. They focus on each other. Ben smiles shyly, and picks up Callum’s left hand and kisses his knuckles gently, looking into his eyes as he speaks assuredly. “This time next year.” He says. “There’ll already be a ring on that finger of yours.” 

#ballum #ben x callum #ben mitchell x callum highway #myfic

[austennerdita2533]

Hey!

I love Penelope Douglas for sure check her out! She writes some of the best smut tbh. I’m working my way through her devils night series right now-I’m on book 2. It’s good so far, definitely dark though. I’m interested to see how she goes about a redemption arc for the character Damon right now I don’t think he deserves one but I hear such good things about his book, Killswitch, but that’s book 3 so I will see how it goes. I definitely recommend Birthday Girl from her though I loved it and the couple from it are my favorite age gap could I’ve ever read. I find myself still re reading some of their best moments.

I am slightly embarrassed by Credence though so I hope it doesn’t bother you too much if you read it. Just so you know before going into it, it is about her and her step uncle/cousins. To be fair they are not blood related and very distance to the point she didn’t even know about them. But she does call him Uncle Jake during a sex scene, and the two others call her cousin during one too. There’s also a MMF scene with her two cousins. But on top of that there is a sexual assault scene (it does get stopped but the intent is there)-personally I wasn’t a fan of how she inwardly dealt with that scenario it felt like she was blaming herself for it instead of holding the other character accountable. Uncle Jake also does kiss her when she is still 17. So if any of that makes you uncomfortable don’t read it.

I’m so happy you liked the atlas six as much as I did. I can’t believe we have to wait until next year for the sequel to see what happens. It’s too long!! I also liked Callum the least, I still appreciated his character though and what he brings to the story I just wasn’t a fan of his, probably because of his problems with Libby/Parisa. Plus his powers terrify me-as someone who likes to have full control of my emotions the fact that someone could just change everything scares me. I also loved Nico he is my typical character that I love the whole I’m an asshole but soft and caring for the people I love gets me every time. Parisa is my queen though I’m obsessed with her. Like I’m literally in love with her, I wish she was real so she could be with me instead. Not that she would because I’m broke have 0 magic or power to give to her, but still. But I have a thing for power hungry women so I was gone the second I met her. But anyway if she was real she could destroy me or do anything she wanted to me and I would say thank you. Reina I also love and agree she could destroy the whole planet and one day probably will. I just love how she is there and wants all that knowledge but also doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else. Tristan also grew on me I’m still not completely sure how much I like or don’t like him yet he gets annoying sometimes because he is constantly in his mind about his alliances but I also love how loyal and caring he is. Libby is my girl!! I also relate to her as well since I was an outcast and battled inadequacy and all that (you and I must have some stuff in common!) Out of all the characters I relate to her the most and am rooting for her so hard-also because the author made her from Pittsburgh and I’m also from the area so I felt personally attached. But Olivie just did an interview and said Libby is getting a corruption arc and I am so excited about it!!

Okay ships- so I will be honest and I think it’s an unpopular opinion but oh well-I am a nicolibby stan. They have every single dynamic that I love in a ship and they could potentially be my favorite book couple of all time if that is the road they are being taken. Honestly I was obsessed with them from their first interaction so i have it bad for them. Obviously I know they were not romantic in this book but the potential (at least for me) was there especially in some of their quotes in the end. I fully believe they are soulmates though-even the author said they were born on the same day and feel like their other half is missing in an interview once-whether that will be platonic soulmates or romantic soulmates I have no idea and I could see either happening. My heart will break if it is platonic but it’s okay I can just live in my own little head about their potential.

But I get the idea and also like both libbytristan and NicoGideon and could see those happening instead of nicolibby too. I wouldn’t say I would be mad about it either-I do like both just to me the potential of nicolibby works more for me! My only thing about libbytristan though is I’m not sure how much of their tension/feelings are real (like did any of it exist before Parisa put the idea of the other person in their thoughts to lead to all the feelings.)

Weirdly enough since they probably my least favorite characters I also adore Tristan and Callum together. Their dynamic just works for me.

And I love Parisa and Dalton too and I’m so interested in how that relationship pans out because they have some stuff to figure out. But they work well together and honestly they are just so sexy together so I’m down for it. Although I do ship myself with Parisa more than her and Dalton but I’m biased.

Honestly though all the ships are wide open though so I’m curious to see what ends up being endgame. But omg yes the twist I was not expecting it-I’m so excited for the rest of this trilogy!!!

In other news though I finished up the ravenhood series. I know you said you either read it or it was on your tbr. But god I loved it. That series broke me and then put back all the pieces. If you haven’t read it and want to feel both heartbreak and happiness I highly recommend it!

Oh and don’t apologize for babbling as you can tell I also babble!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hiiiii sweets!

I've been sifting through a bunch of summaries of Penelope Doulgas' work on Goodreads and there's a bunch of stuff there I think I'd enjoy. I'm all about good smut. I didn't realize she had that many books. I'm excited! Thanks so much for the rec! I love dark romances/erotica every now and again so I'm also going to have to dive into the Devil's Night series at some point.

Oh, and idk if you know about it/read it but a couple of my friends told me about the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day a while back. It's BDSM, like Fifty Shades, but supposedly loads better. I don't know if you're into that but I figured I'd just throw it out there anyway. The smut is supposed to be steamy. I haven't read it yet but I do have the first four novels on my Kindle (where they've been sitting, unread, for about 2 years now)...so that's something haha.

And please don't be embarrassed about Credence. Seriously, the most wonderful thing about reading is you can go wherever tf you want in your imagination. No one can stop you. There are no rules. No restrictions. You can be whomever or whatever you want to be for a while, morality notwithstanding. One of my favorite things about books is that I can experience the most bonkers, outlandish out-of-this-world stuff that I'd never dream of wanting/liking in real life. It's liberating!

Thank you for the trigger warnings, though. I appreciate that. None of them sound off-putting enough to keep me from reading it. (Tbh, I want to read it more now.) I've read loads of books where characters marry or have sex with their cousins or siblings *waves at ASOIAF, the Secret History* so it doesn't bother me. I've also read most of Lolita and all of My Dark Vanessa by Kate Russell, which both romanticize pedophilia in disturbing degrees, so it takes a lot to put me off. If curiosity could kill then I'd be long dead by now. Hell, sometimes I will purposely read things I know will upset me to my core. What can I say? I'm a weirdo. 🙃

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT A YEAR FOR BOOK 2 OF THE ATLAS SERIES, EITHER. AHHHHH. How am I going to make it that long? It seems so far away!

Callum is the most terrifying of them all right now, imo. I think that's why I disliked him the most. Like you, it shook me to my core to imagine someone like him being able to toy with my emotions. I have a tendency to detach, to keep my emotions pressed close to my chest so that I can't be manipulated or hurt, and the idea that someone could have power over them, over me in that way is...no freaking thank you! I would put as much space between him and me as possible. Most of the Atlas crew had the right idea there. He does bring a lot to the story, though, like you said. I have a feeling he's going to be one of those characters I "love to hate" as the series progress. I might even grow to "hate to love" him, idk. He's just such a shady bastard! And so judgmental/mean to the girls.

I'm with you on Parisa, by the way. She's the kind of conniving, ambitious siren of a woman I can get behind. She has a similar vibe as Katherine Pierce on TVD. I mean, there's nothing in her arsenal she won't use and I love how she weaponizes her beauty. It's delicius. She's unpredictable. Definitely the type of character who inspires "scared and aroused" energy any time she walks into a room. Like, she could choke you and instead of crying you'd just ask her to do it again...harder lol.

Reina has the same kind of "no fucks given" attitude I have because I genuinely don't care what people think of me, either. I'm just here to do my thing. Be nerdy. Learn. Whatever. And Nico is my fave for the same reason as you--the asshole who only has soft edges for those who matter to him. *heart eyes*

Omg, Libby is going to have a corrupted arc? AHHHHH. That's going to be amazing, I cannot stinking wait! I was sort of hoping she'd go dark so now that it's confirmed I'm even more pumped. Also, I think you and I have more in common than either of us realized. I'm from the Pittsburgh area, too! How wild is that? Maybe there's something in the water here and that's why, like Libby, we've both felt inadequate and like outcasts at different points in our lives? Olivie might be onto something here...🤔

The thing that's been so cool for me about this series so far is that there are a bunch of potential pairings I could get behind. And I kind of like that it's not clear cut right now. Most series I know who I want together or who will be together like halfway through book 1. I like that I don't know have firm preferences and am still open. That's novel. Not to mention fun!

I don't blame you for shipping Nicolibby so hard, though. They're definitely one of my top contenders for a romantic pairing. They have that enemies-to-lovers element with witty banter that I always gravitate toward. And you're right about Libby/Tristan. I don't know how much of their connection was manufactured because Parisa intervened, either. That'll be fun to puzzle out moving forward. And Callum/Tristan should NOT be a ship I like but they have a palpable something that I can't put my finger on. I've got my eye on them, for sure.

The Ravenhood series is still on my tbr. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much, though! It's rare to read something that just ticks all your boxes. The next time I'm the mood to binge a series I'm gonna have to pick that one up. :-D

I've been trying to clear out my backlog of ARCs lately. (Not possible because I'm getting more on the regular - as in constantly haha - but I'm trying.) I just finished Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult, which has a Sliding Doors premise that is set during the pandemic where the main character has a parallel life experience (one, where she's in the Galapagos Islands on vacation when the shutdown hits so she's stuck there with strangers, alone, not speaking the language; the other, where she's in Manhattan with her surgeon boyfriend and recovering from COVID). It's intense but so, SO good! Picoult is such a good writer. Anything I've read by her has been moving, with rounded and real characters. I haven't been disappointed yet. I so recommend her.

Oh, and if you're into nonfiction/biographies at all I finished The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson not long ago, which is about Winston Churchill as well as those around him, and it was fantastic! Read more like fiction. I loved it. I am no longer surprised it was on all the BEST lists for 2020.

#anonymous #darling acotar anon #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks books

[jelzorz]

67.

Claudia is first chair.

She's not trying to brag or anything—someone has to be first chair violinist, and she's been playing music for long enough now that she's the most logical option. It's not like she didn't earn it, either—she auditioned for that spot, and she was given it based on her merit as a musician. It makes sense that most solos go to her. She's easily one of the most experienced musicians in the Katolis Symphonic, and, hell, she can sightread better than a lot of people can even play—but even she can see the unfairness of it sometimes.

She likes to pretend that bureaucracy has nothing to do with it.

(She knows in her heart that her father has certain expectations that even Opeli has to stoop to meet. She can only conduct an orchestra if it's being funded, and refusing Viren's requests would be very foolish indeed).

In any case, the KSO's partnership with the Silvergrove Ballet Company isn't new at all, but the arrangement Opeli hands out for their upcoming performance of Coppelia is.

"There's been a few changes," Opeli says crisply—not least because they've had their sheet music for a couple of months now, and they've been rehearsing for this arrangement the whole time, not some new one that's only just come about because of—

Claudia doesn't want to say. She looks at the solo she's been given for the No. 1 Valse (which has never been a solo) and knows at once what's happened, but she keeps her lips pressed together and chooses to think about something else. It's not a particularly difficult piece, and anyone could play it, really—the stares of the other violins feel prickly against her back—but she shakes them off and sits her violin under her chin.

Opeli counts them in. Rehearsal goes on.

It's not until Claudia comes by the theatre one evening that she realizes the solo really shouldn't be for her.

It's late. She'd come by because she thinks she'd left her rosin on her music stand, but the lights are all on onstage, and the SBC's principal dancer—Rayla, she thinks?—is adjusting the ribbon of her pointe shoes. And, sitting in the pit, with a copy of the solo is—

"Thanks again for coming out, Callum." Rayla grins at him and does a couple of quick little jumps to warm up. "You really didn't have to—"

"I know I didn't," chuckles Callum. "Don't even stress. It's my pleasure. You ready?"

Rayla nods. She crosses the stage to her starting position, breathes in deep, and then Callum counts them in.

The sound that rings through the theatre is so clean that Claudia almost forgets how to breathe. Every note is sweet, every ornament is deliberate, and halfway through the piece, she realizes that Callum isn't even looking at his music—he's watching Rayla, instead, and adjusting for her as she goes. There's something soft on his face, a sort light in his eyes that Claudia's never seen before, and Rayla's danced her solo for them before, at one of their joint rehearsals, but when it's just Callum playing for her, it's something else altogether.

Claudia leaves the theatre because she doesn't want to disturb them, having forgotten why she'd come by in the first place, but the next day, when the orchestra comes together once more for their next rehearsal, Claudia strides straight up to Callum and hands him the solo.

"Um?"

"I think it should be yours," Claudia says decisively.

"But Opeli gave you—"

Claudia chuckles. "She can't make me play it if I don't want it. Might be nice for someone else to do it for once, don't you think?" She gives him a look, lips tilting upwards in a knowing kind of smile, and nods at Rayla as she warms up on stage. "I think you should give it a go."

Callum follows her gaze. He flushes.

"I saw you both rehearsing last night," Claudia tells him quietly. "I can't play this. Not the way you did. The solo's yours."

Callum frowns at her. "But then—what about your dad—?"

Claudia winces because the thing with her dad's never been a secret but it's never sounded so bad. Her lips twitch. "I'll deal with him," she says.

And she does—because it's about time someone did.

#rayllum #in anticipation #SBC #im gonna compile these at some point