#and have like 200 book tabs in it

[zivot]

What is YOUR Roman Empire?

»A little life« by Hanya Yanagihara

#like you don’t understand how much this book will break you until you read it yourself #I’ve never before slammed a book against my head while tears were streaming down my face #and I think I’ll never experience that with a book ever again #this is truly an… experience #about 10 months later and this book is still always in my head #always contemplating on starting to read it again - a book with almost a 1000 pages! #but if you think I’m recommending it to you this way: no #read the trigger warnings before starting it and be sure that those topics will be harshly mentioned especially sa #sh & physical abuse #way too long rant #but I’ve just thought about what my roman empire would be through a tiktok & now I see this ask #asks #thank you anon #I’m just sad that this book has put a standard on how I should obsess over a book afterwards and nothing got to catch up in any way #like yes I’ve read great books but did I look for fan art - went to a copy shop to get perfectly neat prints of scenes from the book that a #STRANGER HAD TO HAND ME WHILE LOOKING VERY ASHAMED AND CONFUSED WHY A YOUNG WOMAN WOULD HAVE GAY FAN ART IN HER HANDS - and then proceed to #tape them on every matching page where this exact scene was mentioned #and have like 200 book tabs in it #if anyone has book recs that made them this crazy ; please let me know

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT! What are you reading right now? What were your favourite books last year? Do you write annotations as you read? Use tabs? I’m curious about what kind of reader you are!

Sending all my love & gratitude for you & your prose! Lionheart is truly a delight & one of the loveliest parts of my week.

I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment. I pick my reads through a process of "bug my friends about what they're reading" and "wander around bookstores and libraries until The Cosmos sends me the book I need." The results are, in my experience, exceptional. I usually get my books from libraries, so I neither tab nor annotate, though I don't do it in the books I own, either. Usually if I have a particular theory or through-line I want to trace in a book I'll write up a little mini-essay or review about it, like a reading journal.

In general, I'm a fast, picky, flighty reader. I have absolutely no reservations about DNFing a book — I think the alternative is a silly function of sunk cost — if the author's giving signals that they're going to fuck the reader over, or if I'm just not interested in the approach the author is taking to their project. (E.g. A Sport and a Pastime, by James Salter, is a project about voyeurism and narrativizing. Love it! It undertakes this project by having a mythically handsome Yale dropout fuck a waitress for 200 pages. Did not love it. I made the mistake of finishing the book because I, like a fool, assumed he would at some point stop fucking the waitress and stumble into a plot. Life lesson learned: if an author has been fucking the waitress for at least 100 pages, odds are, he intends to keep fucking the waitress.)

You could argue that I miss out on books where the middle and ending makes the project work. I probably do. But my own view is that if I'm 30% deep in a book and the author hasn't given me a reason to trust them, it's because I probably shouldn't.

#greenteacup asks #favorite books last year uhhhhh oh god oh fuck #read the locked tomb trilogy! if you like my writing style you'll love tamsyn muir #read emma by jane austen read deathless by cat valente #READ DEATHLESS please #read atonement... god DAMN last year was a good year in reading #i'm waiting to hit that kind of stride this year #we'll see. we'll see

[chenfordspiral]

43, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? Mh, probably the two I got that turned into this 4x18 AU. It’s honestly one of my favorites I’ve written, and interestingly enough, when I reread it a while back, it felt so foreign because I could barely remember even writing it. But that was fun because it was like I was reading it from an “outsider” POV, if that makes sense. There's two more that I love, as said here, but for once I made a decision and will stick with it. @escapismqueen could fill a book about me and my indecisiveness, and I hope she's proud of me for choosing only one here.

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? Mh, I don’t think I’ve actually gotten many dialogue ones yet, at least not ones that I can remember right off the bat so I’ll say scenario/narrative prompts. 

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? Oy, this is tough because it often feels like I haven't improved at all? I do like to think I've broadened my vocabulary (also thanks to reading so many fics), but I'm not sure if that makes it onto the page. Maybe I'm less terrified of hitting that post button now than I was a year ago and trust myself more to pull something off that maybe I would've shied away from before. The better question for me would be "what have you not improved on?" lol

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? I can honestly say that I don’t know the last one I read, it’s been that long. I’ve got about – and no, I’m not joking – 200 AO3 tabs open on my phone with fics I want to read or need to catch up on. Wait! I do know which one! I re-read this one here from Tara because it was the first that came to mind for the chenford fanfic quotes blog. And yes, I absolutely, 100000% recommend it!!! 

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! Already answered here, but: aside from Little bit of Love, I’m also always (and by that I mean every day) trying to weave my way through an AU that I’ve been working on for… welp, almost a year. Here’s a tiny little sneak peek from what will likely be the first or second chapter. It’s still a long, loooong way from seeing the light of day, though. 

“Geez, Tim. Way to be positive,” Angela sighs. “She won’t like you a whole lot either with that attitude.”  “Great, so case closed. We’re not doing this,” he says and starts to get up from his place opposite of her. “Tim,” she whines and grabs a hold of his arm to keep him from leaving. “Come on. What could it hurt? Just one date. You can see how it goes, and if it’s absolutely horrible and you sit there in silence for two hours, you can go home and call and yell at me for being wrong.”  “Lopez.” “Timothy.” “Stop calling me that.”  “Stop being stubborn.”

Oops, forgot 50 🤦🏼‍♀️ 50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! All I can say is that I love this amazing community on here. The last few months in particular have been so much fun, and I love engaging with you all here. It genuinely feels like a home and I'm so grateful to get to be a part of it.

Thank youuu 🫶🏻

#asked and answered #ask games #thisnightissparkling089

[thefirstknife]

trying to do some research on Pre-Collapse Earth. did Earth change after the Traveler’s arrival? like did countries or cultures change in any way?

Absolutely.

The Traveler's arrival completely changed all humanity knew and thought about everything. Just the simple existence of the Traveler and its arrival to the solar system was enough to shatter pretty much every single concept of human knowledge and science, without even touching on its powers and paracausality.

It fundamentally changed humanity and how we relate to the world around us. Some believed we put too much trust in it. But overall, society changed due to the scientific and technological advancement that improved all human life at barely no cost.

This was the age of life, and governments did not, ever, use force against human beings. There were always alternatives. Every soul sacred. Every evil treatable.

Last Days on Kraken Mare

Last Days on Kraken Mare is really good for a lot of information about the Golden Age and how many changes happened to society. It's a pretty consistent theme about the Golden Age how cultures mixed together, which can be seen in names of pretty much every character from the Golden Age. This can also be seen through the history of the Bray family (more about them in posts here and here).

This one is interesting:

Mia van der Venne is more than 200 years old. Change comes faster, these days, and you live to see more of it. Changes like Ismail being allowed to pray not in the real direction of Mecca but in the direction Mecca would be if it were transposed from Earth to Titan. Changes like the rise and fall and rise again of the Bray cult of personality. Like the new worlds the Traveler opens up to humanity.

... as it shows how religions had to change and adapt to humanity's new way of life and interplanetary travel. As noted here, and in the posts I linked above in relation to the Brays, Islam seems to have thrived in the Golden Age and survived the Collapse. Other religions that we know of that were doing fine in the Golden Age are Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism, the latter having been confirmed to have survived the Collapse due to Lakshmi's comments here:

She playfully taps on all four of his hands. "I am named for an ancient goddess," she says, "with as many arms as you. In her hands are dharma, kama, artha, and moksha. Law, desire, meaning, and finally, liberation. Freedom from the war of death and rebirth."

War and general violence seems to have also been largely gone, as noted from the same lore tab:

"Are you threatening to shoot me?" Mia stares at the Exo woman in disbelief. She hasn't seen a gun in nearly 50 years, and now they are not only coming into her habitat, but they're also pointed at her.

Similar sentiments, about Golden Age being a time of peace, are mentioned a few other times as well.

There were the bad side-effects to this, obviously, most notably in the story of Clovis Bray and his company. Clovis Bray took the Traveler's gifts and the advancements of the Golden Age to an extreme that led him to commit incomprehensible atrocities for his own benefit. His entire journal is a good read, as well as confidential Bray Records lore book (though can be triggery with certain descriptions of medical stuff and violence).

Outside of just general idea about what the Earth was like during the Golden Age in regards to freedom from violence and wars, as well as obvious mixing between populations and cultures, we don't know many details about specific countries and how all of it worked. There are mentions of cities and areas, but not many details about the structure of countries and states.

The only one specifically described and mentioned several times is USA, consistently described as:

Nowhere outside the retro-nationalism of the North American Empire does any private organization have such sweeping, selfish authority over knowledge which should belong to the whole human commons—and at least the twin eagles are voluntary society, answerable to higher law! Clovis Bray reeks of the old unregulated capitalism.

And here:

"Some American you are," Mia teases him. David comes from the North American Empire, Earth's biggest voluntary retro-nationalist republic, full of people who love military pageantry and muscular aerospace displays.

I have a feeling Bungie has some strong opinions about the current state of the United States of America.

#destiny 2 #golden age #lore vibing #long post #ask #i hope this helps! #if there's anything more specific you'd like to know feel free to ask #golden age stuff is not very well documented for obvious reasons but there are frequent small hints here and there

[dnangelic]

LN 2 (snow queen) summary. same disclaimers as before, google translate is wheelchairing me bigtime, none of this is in perfect order or detail, it's a gist for the desperate (tm) who might otherwise never ever lay eyes or hands on the books themselves, and it's 200 pages more or less directly transcribed, (+ novel illustrations) so beware of enormous huge gimongous post length under the cut. open in a new tab and treat it like the book it is 👊 links contain novel illustrations LET'S GO

prologue opens up with dark exploding from the window of a museum into outside after just stealing the snow queen. he holds it up where its 'dazzling brilliance creates the illusion that a new constellation has been added to the starry sky above,' then complains that he wasn't able to show off since there weren't any guards or security systems. daisuke tells him that nothing can be done about it, to which dark further complains that hiwatari is 'such a cold guy that he didn't want to play' with him, to which daisuke tries to argue against. cue hiwatari showing up apologizing for being late (and mentioning that since everything was so sudden, he had to take time to 'prepare',) to which dark says that only cute girls have the privilege of being late for a meeting (lmao.) even hiwatari laughs a little and says that he intends to make up for it; hiwatari lunges for him and dark runs off towards the forest that surrounds the museum.

'if you've prepared a present for me, i'll have to accept it.'

dark's goal is to meet up through the forest to meet wiz who now has the crown at the other side so he can fly away, but hiwatari's laced the woods with hard to see piano strings, which dark has dodged solely through intuition and their sound. one step away from properly meeting wiz, wiz gets caught in the strings, dropping the crown. a tiny piece of it gets into one of dark's eyes, and he loses his footing, stumbling because of it, falling down into a valley.

waking up to a 'pure white world' covered in ice, dark starts to experience a series of daisuke's memories alongside a bad chill. when a white shadow in the shape of a woman appears behind daisuke, she says that she 'finally found it' in a 'chillingly gentle whisper,' and dark decides that this is what was setting off his nerves. despite shouting his name and telling daisuke not to go, daisuke can't hear dark's voice, and the world shatters and hails down ice as daisuke's embraced by the woman from behind, dark chasing after him.

1.

my encounter with the "snow queen" was a coincidence.

daisuke's class has gone on a three hour train ride trip for a school camping-barbeque tournament trip. there's an optional field trip to the local museum, which is described as a 'cute western-style building, contrary to the students' expectations of an imposing building. although it's small, it has white walls, decorative windows, an elegant staircase, handmade carvings of angels, animals and plants adoring the hallways, and antique table decorations. everyone was surprised to see the beautiful hand-knitted lace.' in here riku moves next to daisuke, whose heart starts to pound when she puts her hair behind her ear a little and gets him to question whether or not her hair's 'grown a little since summer,' and he starts worrying that he'll transform right inside of the museum.

no matter how hard i try to suppress it, this pounding won't stop. when did i start to care about riku so much?

in the middle of this saehara shows up and leans directly onto daisuke's shoulder, ignoring dai's complaints over him being heavy to read the snow queen's explanatory plaque out loud.

the snow queen. artist unknown. creation date unknown. it's said that starting from when a bride wearing this tiara mysteriously disappeared, it's caused a series of tragedies as its changed hands. apparently, it drifted along and ended up at this local museum. the tiara is wrapped in a lonely glow that doesn't match the gorgeous structure, and there's some truth to the rumor it was bringing about.

saehara calls the tiara cursed and scary while squeezing daisuke's neck, exasperating dai and causing risa to say that she hates curses, asking if he 'can't say it in a more romantic way.' all of the students start generating all sorts of stories regarding the tiara's history, but daisuke grows more and more unhappy listening to their ideas of tragic love, while riku and daisuke both sympathize with the artwork did it ever have to truly survive or witness that sort of thing.

actually, it may have been a tiara as proof of love, but it was left in a place like this just for fun.

the two of them fluster, riku remarks to herself that 'even though daisuke's a boy, he still looks at things with kind eyes,' and they laugh over the absurdity of a curse, saying that 'even if the curse were true, it seems like it'd tear two people who love each other apart.' hiwatari surprises them by agreeing, then tells daisuke that 'magic is a troublesome thing. at the slightest trigger, it turns into a terrifying curse. and from that curse... you can't escape forever.' his eyes flicker as if he's seeing something invisible, far away, and the setting changes to the class's camping preparation endeavors.

daisuke's parents have massively overpacked for him. meanwhile, the key for risa's bag won't work, so daisuke unlocks it for her with a twig, then lies to cover up the fact he picked it. he muses over his own and his family's history of being thieves, as well as riku: she hates dark, and yet, even though she's the one who daisuke doesn't want to know of his true identity the most, she's still the one who brings out dark the most, leaving daisuke to smile 'bitterly in his heart.' daisuke also confronts his feelings over risa.

for some reason, daisuke's heart aches for dark's inability to reciprocate her feelings, as if they are collectively responsible. i know my heart would be lighter if there was even one person who understood me. ...i can understand the pain of having worries that you can't tell anyone about .

daisuke continues rummaging around his massive pack for gloves only to see wiz wrapped up in dark's clothes. dark remarks on the fact with joy and surprise, to which daisuke immediately says that it wasn't him, and that his mom had put everything inside without telling him-no wonder the backpack was so big. daisuke can't get the snow queen out of his head, either.

however, the feeling that filled my heart when i saw that small crown in the local museum, which had a collection of valuable works of art, remained with me forever . [...] is there anything i can do? if it were me...i wonder if i could save the snow queen from there... dark responded to the words that came out almost unconsciously. ---'if it were us, it would definitely happen.' words filled with confidence, not doubting themselves or daisuke in the slightest. in the past, daisuke would have been repulsed or subservient to dark, but now it's different. those words, like wings, pushed daisuke's back. 'that's right... let's try it.'

daisuke writes up his own calling card ('if mom put in dark's costume, there's no way she forgot to put the cards in,) and hands it off to wiz to be delivered. (fun note is wiz, after transforming into his black/wings form, is likened to a 'carnivore.') some rustling scares daisuke and he worries that he's been spotted, but it's only riku who bring shim back to the barbeque/campsite. saehara is cooking like a pro, while daisuke gets this little scene.

ah, it's starting to boil over. the girls in the group watched with wide eyes as daisuke deftly pulled out the firewood and set it to a low flame. niwa-kun, who was always in a daze, suddenly looked cool... ah! as daisuke stood up, he tripped over the residue of someone's failed stove.

riku rushes over saying she'll do everything as the other girls sigh and say that daisuke's no good after all. saehara says there aren't enough vegetables, so hiwatari starts chopping some --- to which all the girls start admiring him for. not about to be outdone, saehara picks up his own cutting pace to no avail. daisuke's attention stays focused on riku as they try to cook rice together, but the hot bowl slips until daisuke catches it with a foot with a soccer technique. he turns it upside down, and when riku asks why, explains that it'll be more delicious that way.

hmm, niwa-kun, you know a lot about strange things. even though it was strange, she sounded impressed. daisuke secretly thanked his grandfather. no, it might have been my father. i remember him often carrying a large backpack on his back, as if he were going mountain climbing. also, unlike my mom, i feel like my dad, who's not descended from the niwa family of thieves, taught me the mundane things. those were also important things. he didn't talk much, but his voice was low and slow, like dark's.

riku and daisuke finish cooking, wiz showed up with a stick being cute, which gets riku and daisuke laughing and dark sulking. 'don't just have fun with riku!' dark points out the fact that daisuke can't properly confess to her, to which daisuke retorts that it has 'nothing to do with dark.' the feeling he's having with riku is different from when he fell in love with risa, and he can't explain the difference, but...

--you just can't say it because you're afraid of being rejected again. that's not it. really i don't know how to say it...

daisuke impresses riku with the quality of his rice, happy to see her having fun. although he 'doesn't know what feelings he's experiencing, it's nothing dramatic, but a calm, warm, and comfortable space that he wanted to share.'

later riku gets caught in a confession competition- the rules are to answer with who your crush is, or if you don't have one, who your first was. hiwatari's naturally popular, and there are plenty of rumors over who secretly danced the last dance at the school festival. riku turns red thinking of daisuke while risa reminisces over dancing with dark- however, risa only danced after the after-party. dark had stolen an old player and records after a fake notice issued by risa, and risa had no idea that riku and daisuke were the ones who danced the real last dance.

at the niwa family's house, emiko paces in front of the phone while daiki tries to calm her down. finally it rings, and daisuke gets bombarded by... general mom questions and nagging reminders. by the time daiki has picked up the phone, daisuke's run out of pocket change to feed the line. exhausted and disappointed, he didn't get the chance to say anything to his mother about the notice he had issued without permission. saehara shows up and teases daisuke for missing his mom before calling his dad and telling him what to eat- 'saehara, who lives with his father, seems to fulfill his duty of cooking even when he's away.'

daisuke moves over to hiwatari to ask if he's fine, after which saehara suddenly turns loudly surprised. daisuke immediately worries over being suspected or his notice being conveniently discovered, and as expected, saehara runs off shouting that dark had sent out a notice, and his scoop was waiting for him. daisuke can only sigh with sekimoto (another one of his friends,) noticing that hiwatari had also disappeared.

---the battle has begun. dark's deep, relaxed voice resonated in his heart. daisuke didn't make a sound, but he nodded firmly. just for today, you can't say that you don't want to turn into dark or that you don't want to work. because it was daisuke, not dark, who wanted to steal this treasure.

daisuke tells sekimoto to cover and cheat on roll call for him while running at an unstoppable speed, thinking of the snow queen 'who was supposed to be shining white and pure. called a cursed tiara, it is a light that was lost as it was passed from darkness to darkness.' he tells himself that if everyone knew what it really was, they wouldn't be able to help but love it, and remembers riku's smile and sympathy, positive it was directed towards 'her', the snow queen herself.

for the first time, daisuke was about to steal a work of art, feeling as if he was in love with it.

run while feeling excited. eventually, when he couldn't even see my own shadow, he stopped in a dark forest where even the moonlight couldn't penetrate. as if surrendering himself to the darkness, daisuke slowly closed his eyes. for a moment, he was enveloped in a strange sensation, as if he were suddenly flying up into the sky. the visions he had while he was roaming the night sky as the phantom thief dark comes to life. and then, many memories that only the moon and stars know apart from daisuke and dark pass vividly before his eyes. the first time i saw riku from the top of the clock tower. being looked at by riku's straight gaze. the two of us huddled and danced. ...i kissed her. my heart pounded at that moment. this feeling will not only never fade, but only become even stronger. i can't do anything. a hot sensation overflows from the center of daisuke's body and fills every corner. the consciousness of the great movement was completely released from the vessel called the body. the sky goes on forever. countless sparkling stars shine as if they are surrounding you. you can ride the wind and fly anywhere! as far as 'her.' when he opened his eyes again, they were not gentle eyes that made him look timid, but strong and sharp.

daisuke transforms like so and dark heads off to the museum 'as if he were going to a party.' he flies out from the forest as sekimoto asks whether or not daisuke came by, riku recognizing dark in an instant. 'you can't mistake it even from a distance. that man with black wings and all black clothes has a nice face and figure, but he is a total pervert.' (girl that pervert is your BOYFRIEND!!!!) she almost puts one plus one together (dark leaving the forest that daisuke entered) but willfully ignores it with a muttered 'that's not true.'

at the museum, dark calls the story regarding the tiara stupid while standing right in front of it.

there was nothing here that could be called security. due to the curse, the academic value, artistic value, and value of this piece as a piece of jewelry, or as a work imbued with lost magic, was all erased. there are some families who sell cursed items, such as blood-sucking swords for money, but they do not how to handle items with magical powers and end up causing tragedy, often strengthening the curse. then it's out of anyone's hands as the items are thrown away or passed around from time to time, until they end up disappearing. they're only casually displayed here for the sake of their novelty, or because of their value as precious metals such as diamond and platinum. it's just a perfunctory decoration.

dark takes the crown and immediately starts acting creepily enamored enough with it (telling it not to worry, promising it'd become only more and more beautiful, kissing it like the hand of a lady,) that daisuke gets a chill- 'i've seen him seduce random women many times, but it never goes this far.' hiwatari shows up and also gets to be creepy, looking 'genuinely happy,' with a smile that was terrifying 'because it's finite. his eyes glare like a beast that's found its prey.' hiwatari apologizes for being late, cue the piano wires, which hiwatari himself is also wielding in an attempt to 'hunt and capture' dark. the prologue sequence would have occurred from here; hiwatari notices that dark behaves as if 'he had been shot,' and later retrieving the snow queen, inspects it - 'no matter how much it's protected from dark, if even a single piece were to fall, it would be a big deal.'

hiwatari mutters that the snow queen seemed to have protected herself by herself before telling saehara to handle the crown appropriately. saehara relents but also brings up the fact that he's positive dark will come after it again for the sake of his pride, and that they should be fully prepared to 'arrest that bastard.' wandering away, hiwatari moves over to the river in the valley, where daisuke lays unconscious, clutching wiz tightly to his chest. wiz wakes up and 'spreads its four short legs as best as it could, trying to protect daisuke,' to which hiwatari says not to worry.

hiwatari checks his pulse and breathing (it's steady) before lifting him out of the river and trying to bring him out of it. unfortunately, 'no matter how small daisuke is, hiwatari doesn't have a sturdy physique either,' and the slippery stones leave him staggering until he finally falls. wiz worries when hiwatari's face contorts with pain and his face turns pale, 'as if he had no blood in him.'

damn... at a time like this...! i tried to stand up, but i couldn't find the strength. 'kyuu, kyuu, kyuu!' wiz was running around the area not knowing what to do, but suddenly seemed to think of something and started running, bouncing up and down. hiwatari couldn't watch where it went to in the end. his vision is spinning dizzy. he exhales deeply, trying to calm his shallow and labored breathing. even that requires a lot of concentration and pain. as if he had given up, hiwatari sat down and leaned against a large stone, letting daisuke sit next to him. '...i don't have any time anymore...'

the two of them black out together (wow besties) as wiz brings back help.

2. in the meantime, daisuke starts to have a dream, waking to a cold sensation and a 'pure white world' he had never seen before, the same that dark in the prologue had witnessed. beginning with remembering his heartbreak over risa, he watches a number of memories pass him by, until he's met with a romantic scene of riku and dark together clinging to each other. daisuke can't believe it and succumbs to heartbreak, punctured suddenly by a sharp, freezing pain that prevents him from moving. a slender white hand reaches out from behind and covers his eyes as the snow queen says 'i feel sorry for you, but this is your future.'

a hand that protects daisuke from the falling needle-like white particles. her hands wrapped around daisuke from behind and gently hugged him. shining white, silver-like hair falls smoothly over daisuke's face. daisuke saw the woman's face for the first time. lonely eyes with light pigmentation. transparent white skin. her beautiful face was full of sadness, as if it would disappear at any moment but only her lips were red. 'come on, come here.' the white woman blew cold breath from her blood-red lips. daisuke's eyes slowly fell. ...yes, if you do that, you won't have to look at anything anymore. you won't have to feel bad anymore. perhaps the cold numbs the senses, and the pain begins to recede. it felt as if someone was calling daisuke, but daisuke's consciousness gradually lost its outline and melted into this white space. blending into the white mist, many figures that he hadn't seen before come into view. there are lovers walking together holding hands. men and women who pick fights, abuse each other, and are connected only through hatred. there are two people who appear to be a married couple who do not interact at all, just because they are in the same space. passing by one after another, there isn't a single familiar face among them. some people are foreigners and wearing old-fashioned clothing. a white space filled with sadness. the tears of many people are creating this ice. he protects me so i don't feel the same way. ........but i........ just as i was thinking that, i heard a voice again. 'dai-chan, you'll catch a cold if you sleep in a place like that!' shut up, shut up! dark doesn't just steal art and jewelry. don't forget he also steals time. daisuke is becoming increasingly dizzy, but a voice still speaks to him. 'daisuke...'

a deep voice like dark's. however, this voice spoke to me calmly and warmly... i haven't seen father in a while, and even when he does come back, we don't talk much compared to my mother and grandfather, who are always so lively, but i'll never forget the voices of my family. 'old things are filled not only with the feelings that went into making them, but also the memories of the people who spent time with them.' guided by this familiar voice, daisuke realized the identities of the people he had seen earlier. then, he tried to open his eyes again. 'don't go, daisuke!' ....that's right, i haven't said anything yet..... daisuke snapped his eyes open.

the snow queen jumps confused as to why daisuke won't completely freeze, and dark appears to say that it's because 'they're not normal.' he says that although he 'took the opportunity to invite a beautiful woman,' he has to let her go because she was a little too forceful - before angrily smashing the ice daisuke's in, freeing him. the two immediately squabble over daisuke's being hit (why did you hit me!!!!) (because i don't hit women.) before dark cuts the conversation- 'i don't care, it doesn't matter, we can get out of here.' as the world fades the snow queen stares at dark.

you were the one who said you would take me out of here... the woman was staring at dark. it's like daisuke was forgotten. 'yeah, but if you do something like this, i won't be able to ask you out on a date anymore.' although it was a light and playful tone, this is how dark clearly rejected the woman. it was the first time daisuke had seen him do that. however, the white woman didn't seem fazed at all. 'i'm sorry. i wonder why i made a mistake...' as the white world disappears as if melting into the air, the woman's white shadow-like figure also fades. 'goodbye, snow queen.' the red lips that were still clearly visible moved at dark's words. no. you will definitely come to me... definitely.

daisuke wakes up confused and wondering if everything was just a dream before remembering his failed heist. he freaks out worrying that saehara, in front of him, might have already seen him turn back from dark, if not taken the 'decisive scoop.' riku helps to take care of him as he's feverish, working through her own feelings of flustered relief. 'he disappeared silently, and when i found him, he was sleeping like he was dead... i worried about him a lot, and now he's healthy and eating well, it's really...!' slamming the door so hard that the whole building shakes, daisuke hugs his backpack, left behind. 'sorry, riku-san. if i hadn't failed the theft, i wouldn't have made you feel that way.' though, he's also still happy that riku cared so much for him. later once everyone starts going home, riku offers to help daisuke with his luggage, but daisuke declines, feeling that just the sensation of concern was enough to give him energy.

back at the entrance of the niwa household, it's already become the afternoon.

'....i wonder if i'll be able to go home safely.' now that i'm not feeling well, it'd be suicidal to enter my house carrying a large bag on my back. my mother always told me that not avoiding avoidable risks isn't courageous, it's recklessness. the less handicap you have, the better. daisuke dropped his baggage on the doorstep, then made up his mind and put his hand on the door. a faint clicking sound is heard. the trap m ust have activated at the same time. traps hidden throughout the house are baring their fangs and waiting for daisuke... with all of his nerves in place, daisuke took his first step. from there, he didn't have time to think about anything unnecessary, and with his well-honed reflexes, he hit traps one after another.

when he finally makes it to the living room safely, he panics backwards hearing something burst from behind the door. thinking it's explosives (and regarding the 'unconventional enthusiasm' of his mom) he's astonished until confetti lands on his head. turns out his mother and grandfather just wanted to welcome him home, but daisuke isn't in the mood- he still has to confess to committing his first theft without permission. 'i forgot to say it yesterday, but i made the mistake of issuing dark's notice and stealing the snow queen.'

daiki and emiko are stunned and have no idea why he's apologizing. in fact, the confetti and party poppers was because they were celebrating his very first personal heist. although daisuke has no clue how his family figured it out, it's impossible to put anything past his mother- she was listening in onto the police radio.

'we come from a family of thieves with a long history. we have many other tricks up our sleeves!' my mother laughed like a little girl. it's cute, as if she was talking about gardening or lace knitting. also, the lack of discomfort is frightening. so, if you don't need me to tell you anymore..... daisuke hung his head. it seemed that he still had some moral issues to overcome.

daiki is about to lecture daisuke in regards to his failure over preparation- 'no matter how lax the security or whether or not there's no security equipment, you can't let your guard down,' but emiko cuts him off and daisuke heads off to take a bath. daisuke asks about his dad, thinking about how the words of his mother and father had saved him from his dream's ice and its 'overwhelming sadness,' to which emiko brings him a second scoop of rice. 'dai-chan is lonely, isn't he? but papa.. koji-san is doing his best for me and dai-chan. so let's be patient.'

later after dinner daisuke attempts to speak with dark, but something's wrong. chalking dark's sudden depressed silence and intense mood shift to him sulking over the botched heist or jealousy over riku, he starts talking about his feelings and how he didn't know someone could be willing to work so hard for the person they loved. 'i would do anything to see her smile.' while expressing a desire to become stronger, wishing he could be as relaxed as dark, dark finally answers- apologizing, saying it was bad and own his fault.

dark apologized to me!! it was a surprise, as if heaven and earth had turned upside down. that dark....?!?! i wonder if the shock of failure was too great. daisuke suddenly felt a smile on his face as dark felt so close to him. he thought of teasing him, but when he saw dark's figure on the other side of the window reflecting the pitch-black night, daisuke was shocked and speechless. his chest tightened. dark's eyes looked at him from between his long hair. the image of a young man daisuke didn't know, who is filled with sadness and who seems like he might disappear at any moment. he's very confident and youthful , and doesn't care about other people's opinions, and he's the kind of guy who laughs and looks down on daisuke at the checkpoint while he's desperately struggling... his confidence is just right. it's so unwavering. at that time, when i decided to steal the snow queen, i might not have been able to issue the notice without dark's words. dark is like that. he must have always been one step ahead of daisuke, laughing. this can't be dark...! daisuke thought he was just like himself when he lost confidence and was worrying. he shook his head and the man disappeared. reflected in the window is an unreliable boy. but i can't remain unreliable forever. daisuke speaks flatly. 'after all, phantom thief dark has to do what the notice says.' ---daisuke.....? dark asked curiously. 'the legendary phantom thief dark failed to steal a small artwork from a place like that with no security equipment and almost no security guards. hiwatari-kun was the only one who stopped him. ---you're starting to say that, too. dark took a breath in surrender. 'that's why,' daisuke said especially brightly, 'i'm going to steal the snow queen.' ---the snow queen? it's probably impossible. a quiet voice. hearing that resigned sound, daisuke was once again struck by a sense of discomfort. the word 'impossible' never came out of dark's mouth, other than when he was teasing and bullying daisuke. even though it was indeed, as a result of dark's aim, the value of the snow queen had been reaffirmed, and her existence has been widely acknowledged by the world. it would no doubt be moved to a larger, better-equipped art gallery or museum, and this time it would be placed on strict alert, with hiwatari and saehara's father at the lead. nevertheless, 'dark and i will definitely be able to steal the snow queen this time.' dark answered daisuke's confident words as if he had no choice. ---then, give it a try. daisuke thought that he had finally returned to being the usual dark. it was strange to him how relieved he felt at that. this is how it is. i'm sure if the theft is successful, dark will be back to normal.

daisuke then immediately Yells trying to hype himself and dark up, and his eavesdropping mother and grandpa spill into the room to let daisuke happily know that they've already researched the destination, prepped a note, while daisuke gets left behind in the storm of it all, even wiz having fun at his feet.

the most daisuke could do was curse dark in his mind. ...you fooled me by pretending to be depressed!! ---what are you talking about? there's no way i'm going to fool you. dark answered quietly, but daisuke thought it was just pretend. 'that's a lie, you coward!' dark's voice was drowned out by daisuke's frustrated scream as he fluffed his pillow on the bed. ---i always say, i'm just another you. i've never lied to you. that's why... can you do it alone? those words didn't reach daisuke. they were such a small whisper. where is dark? his voice was low, as if he had traveled far away. daisuke was caught up in the commotion of his mother and grandfather, and was unaware of it. no, he'd already overlooked a number of discomforts. he still didn't understand the meaning of dark's change. daisuke didn't notice the white light that was creeping up close to him, trying to swallow up the shadows.

daisuke dreams of the snow queen's white space again, only this time dark is absolutely gotdamn Zonked out of his Mind. his eyes are described as empty and lifeless, yet he still kisses her hand and she's satisfied with his obedience, his shape 'swallowed up by the white light' of the distinct contrast between them. the queen promises him that he'd 'get one during the day' and that she'd 'get rid of any intruders right away' in an 'extremely gentle but endlessly cold voice.' daisuke awakes with a freezing cold pain in his chest.

3.

it was the morning after the barbecue tournament ended.

the school's girls are huddling around photos from events and festivals, along with 'rows of photos of saehara's masterpieces,' not only taken for the shared class (2B) but from 'around the entire school as much as possible.' students are allowed to purchase photographs not just for themselves but for a glimpse of anyone they might like, but riku's already decided she has nothing to do with the excitement and remains in her seat until saehara shows up to pester her about number 45: a photograph of herself and daisuke happily sharing their moment with the camp rice.

daisuke and hiwatari eat their lunches together and likewise aren't privy to any of the conversation, nor is riku eager to purchase the photography still convinced that daisuke liked risa rather than herself at all. meanwhile, risa's mind is focused on her own relationship with dark: 'in love and yearning for him, she chases after him... even when she tries to hit him with her body, dark easily dodges. he never rejects her, but he never gives her the words she really wants.' she's depressed that she doesn't know him despite every effort and attempt to get closer, but he doesn't respond; how nice it would have been if i could have loved someone who loved me...

in the midst of this, risa notices riku putting a purchase mark on the photo numbered 45.

away from the girls' commotion, hiwatari and daisuke have their own talk. he thanks hiwatari for 'yesterday' and is relieved when the boy's expression is the same as always - 'whether dark fails or succeeds in his theft is irrelevant at school.' saehara bounds up with the photography of daisuke himself and riku, saying that daisuke's grown - after being dumped by risa he was always depressed and absent-minded, but recently he had become more lively, and the photo was proof of that. 'riku, who always looked angry, and daisuke, who always looked troubled, were together, having a lot of fun and laughing.' however, something's changed - daisuke has no reaction to the photography, to the extent that the sort of poker face and apparent confusion at the photograph of himself and riku should be impossible for someone like him.

hiwatari asks to make sure if daisuke is okay, and daisuke only looks confusedly back. taking his leave, saehara's left to talk about dark's failed heist, to which daisuke adds inside of his mind that he'd properly steal the snow queen this time. afterwards, hiwatari has returned to the snow queen. after being carefully polished and allowed to regain its shine, it was now befitting of its original name, 'snow tiara.' 'however, it seemed to hiwatari that he was unable to remove the ominousness and sadness that were ingrained somewhere.'

he had been collecting data on the snow queen since his lunch break. in conclusion, the curse of the snow queen was real. however, the method to break the curse is based on the origin. he couldn't figure out how it was turned into a curse. this isn't his job. it's not even a role assigned to him. but hiwatari had something on his mind. what happened to that small piece that was dropped into dark? what's the reason for daisuke's change that most of his friends don't notice? there was only one answer. 'did you put a curse on dark....?'

hiwatari, touching the snow queen, also ends up in her world- figures he recognizes flash him by. daisuke, riku, risa, then classmates, then elmroot/his 'father in law', and the 'vague silhouette of a woman. she's young and beautiful... even though i've never met her, that look in her eyes is somehow nostalgic... who is she?' (AUGH RIO CAMEO!!!!!!)

hiwatari merely observes these figures. 'those associated with 'ice hunting' (the hikari) told him about his fate,' and he looks over everything with no change in his expression.

'is it fun to dig up other people's memories?' hiwatari declared, sharp enough to cut through the ice that made up this world. 'unfortunately i don't have the scars you would inflict.' as if they had been cut by those words, the people around him slowly broke their outlines and turned to him. the appearance changed to hiwatari himself since childhood. even in the house where he was born and raised, even after he was adopted by the hiwatari family, he spent most of his time alone. that life is repeated before his eyes. then, my father-in-law told me this with a stern look on his face. 'i didn't adopt you just to play tag with you.' '...that's stupid.' hiwatari slowly turned around, took off his glasses, and peered into the white shadow. he had been aware of the shadow that had been hovering behind him for some time, watching his reaction. 'i have never felt sorry for my circumstances or my fate.' there are many cross-sections to things. it could be good or bad depending on how you think about it, but those who are showing this illusion only brought out information that can be manipulated to their advantage, and only memories that have a great impact on their minds. that's what hiwatari thought. 'it's pointless.' the young hiwatari's form once again becomes like a white mist, wavering as he tries to find another form. 'what i'm afraid of losing... i can't find.' hiwatari spoke calmly. capturing dark and ending the clan's eternal battle. other things to worry about, there's nothing like that.

(HIWATARI AUGH!!! OOGH!!! WAUGHHH.) the snow queen finally appears before hiwatari, and behind her is dark's figure trapped in ice. when he asks if she's the snow queen and if she wants to get dark, she only laughs before saying 'all that's left to do is to get rid of the nuisance. that child's heart will soon freeze. that he'll be mine. ' hiwatari also laughs saying 'i see. but will it be that easy? it's a self-deprecating laugh, as he's let dark escape many times at the last minute.' the snow queen says that she will, this time, and with her voice turning into a sad blizzard, hiwatari's ejected from the snow queen's world. he contemplates the nature of loss and hesitation, 'if there's something you don't want to lose, if you still don't hesitate, isn't that what true strength is?' before the image of a 'red haired boy who's always timidly smiling' comes to his mind. what did he see in that white world, and how did he escape? deciding there must be a hint to the snow queen's desire for dark and daisuke's own heart getting in the way, he checks his data again until the moonlight filling the museum is blocked- a black shadow flies across the sk, and hiwatari mutters to dark not to forget that he's the one who's going to catch him.

the next morning, daisuke's staring blankly at the sky. 'even though that aspect hasn't changed at all from before, it felt like something was different from usual.' he murmurs a search for a certain word, while riku grows uncomfortable at his sudden loss of personality and increasingly blunt and apathetic attitude towards her. as friction builds between the two, daisuke returns to the same mirror from LN1 that he had once transformed into dark in front of. previously, it had been the face of someone with impressive, strong eyes and a fearless smile- 'dark....' but now, there was only a boy with lonely eyes. with a gaping hole in his chest, daisuke searches for dark's familiar figure to no avail. 'even if i call out to him, that disgustingly full-bodied voice no longer answers.' ever since he had returned from the campsite and right after he vowed to steal the snow queen again, dark's voice had gone silent.

hiwatari appears and asks what exactly happened during the last night. filled with doubts and his own loss of dark, daisuke blaisely responds 'nothing really,' to which hiwatari easily backs down. when his friends burst in and daisuke seems to return to being the same as always, his smile disappears as soon as he sees riku, and hiwatari understands why nobody has seemed to notice anything - it's only his attitude towards riku that had changed.

at the harada household, riku and risa start to discuss their troubles. riku expresses her troubles and confusion over the way daisuke's been acting and refusing to smile around her, despite everything that happened during their camping trip. as the older sister, riku's always been strong, bright and reliable, but this time, it's her who bursts into tears and accepts comfort from risa, who has her own conflicted feelings over seeing riku and daisuke happy together despite riku's attempts and kindness and consideration for her- above all, 'riku was the first to get what she wanted and couldn't get.'

are you okay?

[...]he doesn't even look at me anymore. at the campsite, daisuke looked at riku with kind eyes. a warm smile, different from his usual gentle and timid smile. with a sweet voice when calling out riku's name, the hand held out to her hadn't been unreliable at all --- it looked a little like the person risa liked.

risa wonders why she's the one working so hard to try to meet and catch up with dark- dressing herself up as eye candy, sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to aimlessly search, and even sending out fake notices, having seen risa and daisuke surrounded by such a happy light, she had been starting to feel jealous especially after swearing that she would get a better boyfriend before riku - but why was there a need to do that? although risa was normally the one talking and grumbling and riku's role was to comfort her, things were now switched. risa was already used to being pampered, while riku was just like before, but she wasn't uncomfortable in the opposite position. after crying a lot, riku starts to feel better, considering the fact that maybe her true self, the one that loved daisuke, was just finally emerging- and that herself and risa, despite having nothing in common with her and everything in common with her, both had each other in the world.

at the niwa household, daisuke's come back home like an empty shell. he has no appetite at all to the extent that even emiko questions whether he's in a rebellious phase, until she finally convinces him to sit down to eat. his grandfather lectures to not hurt people and to never let the police take care of him - as a member of the niwa family, it was unacceptable. while daisuke absentmindedly picks at a side dish, his mother encourages him for becoming more enthusiastic, but warns him to take care and not catch sick. daisuke, confused, answers honestly that he hasn't been transforming or going anywhere- only for his mother and grandfather to retort 'a liar is the begining of a thief!'

after realizing that with every dream dark could have taken over his body and talked to the snow queen at night, he rushes to his room to find a message left behind by dark in shaky letters: 'find a certain word! it's important!' with the family's notice stating the snow queen's theft scheduled for 10pm tomorrow, and despite the snow queen's own stealthy theft of dark and daisuke's hearts, daisuke regains his confidence to thieve the crown. there was only one thing left for him to do: enter the snow queen's world and reclaim dark. patting wiz, he asks the rabbit to listen to him, and not dark, for the sake of saving dark.

the next time daisuke comes to, he's back in the snow queen's world.

dark was trapped in the ice. his eyes were looking kindly at the white woman standing in front of him. white skin, white clothes, and silver looking hair. her eyes are pale in color, an donly her lips are clearly red. her lips opened with satifsaction. 'soon, his heart will be frozen and it will all be yours.'

although dark smiles, it's a soft, empty smile that 'doesn't look like dark's.' the back of one of his eyes is shining coldly, and daisuke wonders why he hadn't realized it until now that ever since the piece of the snow queen fell into his eye, dark had been influenced by her little by little. cursing his own carelessness and rushing towards him, he remembers how he had been the first to be grabbed by the snow queen, and was able to escape thanks to dark shattering the ice before he froze. shocked and frightened to see him, the snow queen asks why daisuke's here before he responds that he's here to get dark back. however, unlike dark, who was able to shatter the ice in one blow, daisuke's unable to make a single dent, the ice's surface like diamond.

even though dark crushed it in one blow that time, did this mean daisuke was still weaker? feelilng frustrated, daisuke continued to pound away at the ice. seeing this, the woman in white seemed to have regained her composure and solemly told daisuke: 'there's no use in trying to break it. after all, your heart is starting to freeze, too.' when he raised his hand, a piece of ice abut the size of his fist appeared. daisuke gasped, clearly feeling there was something very important there. ' is that... my heart?' 'yes. if you freeze completely, your heart will be trapped inside this ice. ' she laughed as she fondly stroked the ice. ' then, that body becomes an empty shell.' daisuke trembled as a white finger pointed at his chest. 'he says he wants to be the same person as you. he wants to replace you, right? that's why i'll sow that wish.' ' something like that --- ' i tried to argue, but my words wouldn't last. it's true that dark told him to become one with him, and there was a time where daisuke wondered if he would be taken over by dark. but now... we share one body, experience the same feelings, and get along even if we fight. in general, it's too un-dark-like to rely on other people's help to do something. 'dark doesn't want that!' daisuke said flatly. then, he called out to dark inside of the ice. 'that's right, dark! even though you're a phantom thief, what would you do if you were stolen?' there was no reaction. his blank eyes only stared at the white woman. 'i bet he's flying around freely in your body now .' a triumphant smile spreads across the white woman's face. daisuke had gone beyond anger and became sad. 'why are you doing this...? 'because i don't have what i want here.'

when numerous white figures appear, daisuke wonders if they were all stolen and locked hearts of other people. pained by the sorrowful memories, daisuke tells himself that the curse must be broken as soon as possible before staring straight at the snow queen herself.

i will definitely break the curse.

despite the quiet of his words, the queen retreats somewhat, pushed back by his determination. although she tells him it's already too late and that his heart would be completely frozen by tomorrow night, daisuke calls for wiz to wake up dark, against the snow queen's own begging scream not to take him. outside of the snow queen's world in an instant, daisuke realizes he's falling- until he shouts for dark, who immediately transforms their body and saves them from a nasty crash. 'although it's only been two days, dark's voice sounds incredibly nostalgic.' daisuke asks if dark is back to normal, but dark can only decline in pain, daisuke sensing that his heart was fighting against some invisible force. unless the snow queen's curse was broken, dark's consciousness would only be dragged back inwards, and it would be impossible to escape her world.

'find a certain word!' dark choked out. 'that's the name of something important in your heart that was taken away by that woman. and in order to break the curse... that woman's true wish...' that was all. 'dark!!' it was daisuke who shouted in dark's voice. dark's consciousness was once again drawn back to the white world. daisuke was left alone.

returning to his room, daisuke considers the moon and its resemblance to the snow queen back when it was in a corner of the old museum, 'looking dull and lacking in confidence.' he considers that perhaps because of her unfortunate reputation, a strong magical power was nevertheless hidden within her- but dark's hints aren't enough for daisuke to figure out on his own. he considers that the first thing the snow queen showed were his memories, then the future he was afraid of, the air filled with memories of the snow queen. at the time daisuke felt as if he understood something, and that's why he had been able to escape, but now he didn't know anymore. contemplating the different parties he could go to and ask for help, he ends his thoughts on the way that dark was the only one he could ever freely speak to, though it's not as if he always wanted to talk- it just couldn't be helped when they could read each other's thoughts.

daisuke thought of his other self, the one who was always smiling freely. 'tomorrow, i'll be dark. i'll try my best, even if i'm alone.'

picking up wiz and looking him in the eye, daisuke asks for wiz's help once more.

4. saga's eating kitsune udon and calls for funabashi as the news goes crazy for dark as usual. at the niwa's household, emiko finishes laundering dark's outfit, blushing at the thought of how her transformed son's appearance somehow resembled her husband when he was young. asking wiz to take good care of daisuke, she contemplates how this is all that she can do for her son- even if a girl is born into the niwa family, she can't be dark, so she doesn't understand how difficult a heist is. but that's why she's been training daisuke so strictly so that he'd be okay no matter what happens; as a mother, she can't help but feel worried when she thinks of the harsh ordeals put onto a child that's only fourteen.

although daisuke hadn't been feeling well recently, and emiko had no clue what he's been thinking, since he didn't want to talk about it and has been trying to figure it out on his own, the only thing left for emiko to do was to believe in her child; nothing more than that. kosuke also arrives home, caught in one of the family house's traps and looking very troubled over it. although emiko mistakes him for daisuke at first and addresses him sternly at first, her face soon turns into a smile- 'the friendly, or rather timid, smile looking up at her from inside the pit looked a lot like daisuke's!' emiko jumps down to greet kosuke without hesitation, and they hug before daiki somewhat awkwardly tosses down a rope.

at school, riku's eyes follow daisuke everywhere until they finally begin to have a conversation. daisuke expresses his current struggle, while riku apologizes for getting angry, confessing to how happy she was that daisuke had woken up after falling into the river.

'"because i thought niwa-kun was going to disappear like this..." i didn't even say that..' haven't said anything yet. these words pierced daisuke's heart. i know. the meaning... the feeling. the pain in my chest increased, throbbing, like it was being torn apart. daisuke's frozen heart seemed to be screaming.

the two look at each other and both realize they share something in common with each other: at that time, i couldn't put it into words. it was a certain feeling. while daisuke's about to learn it, riku misunderrstands his stunned expression and apologizes, running out of the classroom before daisuke calls out to her. it's no use, despite wanting to chase after her, he's stopped by a pain in his chest. something was wrong, and he wonders just what the snow queen stole- he didn't understand anything. could he really steal the snow queen all by himself? could he break the curse? could he bring back dark? overcome with dizziness, he puts his hands on his desk, causing a sketchbook to fall out to a certain page. on it is a certain painting that he had been working on ever since he had returned from the camping trip full of excitement, though he had lost track of the motive by now.

a girl standing by a white window looking at a maple tree. a white curtain flutters behind her like a veil. the part of the beautiful transparent white curtain that was gently blowing in the wind was now just plain white. pure white. a flat surface with no depth or anything. it reminded daisuke of that pure white world. a space that stretches on without limit, yet is empty and filled with sadess. it's so bright that it's blinding, but what exactly is that emptiness? ' it's a shadow.' suddenly, the shadow of the person who said that fell over the sketchbook. it was hiwatari. he was silently staring at daisuke's half-finished picture.

hiwatari explains that the shape of things can become clearer by adding shadows, setting an example by drawing a beautiful perfect circle that becomes a sphere with a shadow inside it, or a hole with a shadow behind it.

'if there's no shadow, it's as if nothing... no one exists.' daisuke silently watched as hiwatari declared this.

'for example, people recognize their existence through their relationships with others.' daisuke felt as if he were being told about his current self. he teased me, made fun of me, provoked me... i twas inspired by dark and finally realized my true feelings. i've taken action. not only about the work of a phantom thief, but also love... daisuke let out a deep sigh, wondering if he could do anything by himself. he once wondered if hiwatari was always alone in the classroom and lonely, but he felt like that might have just been his own conceit. hiwatari can stand firm even by himself. seeing daisuke's depressed face, hiwatari added: 'however, it is also self-evident that if there is a main body, a shadow will natrally appear.' 'um ...' daisuke scratched his head, not understanding what it meant. 'if there is a guidepost, even one person won't get lost.'

daisuke muses over how talkative hiwatari is before hiwatari chuckles to himself that his guideposts are always within him, and as an example, he's always thinking about a certain person. with this, daisuke finally understands - hiwatari was encouraging him and telling him that if he stayed strong, he'd be able to get dark back. saehara bursts in to shout that the curse is real, giving daisuke an epiphany that saehara promptly continues to talk over.

first of all, she seems to be the lover of the guy who created the snow queen. well, the story about the bride mysteriously disappearing seems to be a made-up story, but even though the crown was made for her, she got married to someone else, and the guy who made it for her right after that died of heartbreak. it's like that.

saehara makes a pun that nobody laughs at then leaves as fast as he had arrived after daisuke sarcastically sends him off. hiwatari extends the favor of correcting errors in the information : the creator knew his days were numbered. at the niwa household, everyone cheers over kosuke's return, and dinner is even more lively than usual. apparently, kosuke got held up an extra day from his expected arrival because a drug dog had started barking at his backpack, and security/customs had suspected him of being a smuggler because of the art inside. he managed to get by saying that he was a researcher, and explained that what he was carrying was a cursed item, like a hope diamond.

the hope diamond is a legendary gemstone said to bring a series of misfortune to its owner. from the moment it was discovered, blood was shed by those who tried to obtain it. although it was originally just a stone, it was exposed to the distorted minds of humans possessed by desire, and as a result it acquired magical powers. [...] this is one of those things, so what happens when it's exposed to negative feelings for a long time?

daisuke's mother is impressed by kosuke's intelligence, while daisuke questions whether or not it would be dangerous to keep it in the house. in a low, friendly and kindly voice, kosuke replies that yes, it might be dangerous, but he couldn't just leave it alone. both his father's voice and words cause him to remember the way he had been saved from the snow queen. likewise, 'no one knows how to break the curse, as the technique of applying magic itself has been lost for a long time, but there has to be a way.' the answer had to be hidden in the snow queen's memory. daisuke, coming to his conclusions, shakes his head at the rest of his worried family and firmly says that everything was okay now - the mystery only lied within himself. kosuke remarks that even though he hasnt seen daisuke in a while, he felt he could rely on him, while daiki and emiko send daisuke off to his heist.

at the museum, a massive crowd has gathered thanks to saga, and the museum's on high alert. the police have mobilized more personnel than ever to try to protect their prestige; there are helicopters, relay vans, cameras, and an incomparable crowd of people compared to before. however, according to hiwatari's instructions, hiwatari and the snow queen are left by themselves. he states that 'it's time to get dark back,' because dark is his own prey, while, even a far distance away from the museum daisuke can sense the severity of its security, and can't help but feel a little nervous going alone. it's different from before; dark wouldn't be stealing it, it's not like dark can help, when in order to help dark, daisuke wold be the one stealing it. although he still hadn't figured out the snow queen's word and answer, riku shows up at the very last instant to tell him that she's been looking for him in order to say that she's figured out the answer: the one word the snow queen wanted to find was 'eternity.'

riku, turning teary-eyed, considers the way that there had been times she wished she had just stopped, and yet:

'they may hate you, you may be a nuisance, but you still love them. "i want to do something.' that thought alone is what drove me this far.

riku blushes and adds that she wants to be with the person that she likes(loves), which causes something hot to well up in daisuke's chest and remind him that he found something important to him. after thanking her, riku feels that a light had been shined on him, and that he had 'returned to the daisuke he was before.'

5.

the bells of the clock tower ring as if announcing the arrival of an angel. a solemn and powerful sound descends over the noise surrounding the museum.

daisuke, with dark's body/appearance and alongside wiz, flies in and starts his solo heist. although the crowd cheers, they can't hear him quietly whisper to himself that's he's on his way for dark. inside, inspector saehara curses dark as he helplessly watches all of his prevention measures fail one by one.

the trajectory showed that dark was headed straight for the snow queen. it's always like that. no matter how much manpower or cutting-edge equipment you put in front of dark, it's as if it's completely meaningless, easily and freely invaded. moreover, tonight in a different sense, dark was getting on inspector saehara's nerves. normally, just before a monitor scereen cuts out, dark would purposefully show his face, wink and show off. but dark didn't do that tonight. 'as expected, you're being serious...' dark was seriously challenging the snow queen that he once failed to steal. in other words, up until now, dark had been playing around with the police just for fun.

daisuke (henceforth interchangeably [and adorably to me tbh] referred to as "dark---- daisuke," or "daisuke---dark,")makes it to the snow queen's room and hiwatari reveals himself, with a voice full of 'indifference and sadness' when he agrees with daisuke's sentiment to 'not mess with' the snow queen. instead of answering to anything, 'dark' only smiles, full of confidence, before grabbing the artwork and smashing through the window. 'dark's' look invites hiwatari to a chase, to which hiwatari calls interesting- attempting to make a path for himself, (cause... he can't parkour on the roof like the thieves,) he's stopped by wiz!dark, who grabs him and says clearly: your opponent is me. as 'dark' makes off with the crown, daisuke quietly mutters to himself asking/hoping that wiz is alright.

daisuke gets brought into the snow queen's world again. 'i found it, the name of the important thing you stole from me, and your true wish.' the snow queen is willing to give him the opportunity to tell her what word she was looking for, thinking it's a bluff.

'then let me hear it.' 'you are, after all, the heart that existed in the snow queen. you were born with the thoughts of someone who worked hard to make a tiara to give to someone they love.' although it wasn't a direct answer, 'certain words' were clearly included in it. the white woman let out a sigh, as if she had given up. daisuke found the 'key,' and just listened. 'that's right... that's why i loved him as much as that woman... for the first time, she twisted her face in pain. sadness and hatred mixed together! her eyes flicker. 'but that wman changed her mind. and then he... died of sorrow...' 'no, that's not it!' daisuke took a step towards the white woman. 'he knew he didn't have long to live. that's why he prayed for the happiness of the person that he loved.' the lady didn't say anything. behind her, the ice that was encasing dark cracked. 'i entrusted my heart to you so that we could always be together...' daisuke felt as if he had come in contact with the true feelings of the snow queen. she was both the heart of the person who created it, and the alter ego of the woman who received it. however, suddenly, a violent blizzard breaks out, and daisuke's unable to speak any further. just standing is the best he can do. 'that's it! i won't forgive you!!' the white woman is ravaged by hatred for a person who is no longer with her. no... daisuke knew that feeling. i can't believe that i've changed my mind, i can't forgive myself, and i feel like i'm blaming myself... 'but if you can change, good things will happen.' daisuke's words were bounced off by the blizzard and don't reach her. i've noticed something because i've had a love that didn't work out. i realized something for hte first time when i fell in love with someone different. the feeling of being in love will remain in my memory forever, and the many kinds of 'likes' i've had with various people always surrounds me. i came in contact with many people, got hurt a lot, and through those wounds, i was able to see a little bit of my own truths. yeah, i feel like that. light flooded from the center of the raging white storm, and daisuke reflexively closed his eyes.

when daisuke opens his eyes again he's standing inside dark, who thanks him before getting flashbanged and struck by something that feels like an electrical current, causing him to drop the snow queen. daisuke asks what the heck he's doing and dark tells him to shut up, it just meansthe curse hasn't been lifted yet. the snow queen rolls all the way into the forest, where riku picks it up. when she looks back in the direction it came from, dark/daisuke's heart starts to pound, and dark starts turning back into daisuke. they run away before riku can see, though riku later brings the crown to daisuke. as they touch it, the snow queen's cries can also be heard from the inside: i thought i finally got it, so why?

cut to wiz!dark and hiwatari. wiz repeats his poor 'your opponent is me' line at a sighing hiwatari who tells him that he 'already understands that.' contrary to dark's usual confident look, wiz is desperately trying to pass by until he turns back into his rabbit form and runs off. hiwatari stays where he is before saying: 'finally... you got caught?' and ruminates over his research: the curse wasn't just a rumor, and the snow queen really had been involved in the lives of many couples that were all captured by the snow queen; he didn't want to catch dark/daisuke like this.

in the night sky, the figure of the man his family had been chasing appearned. and my petite classmate's face... appeared then disappeared.

within the snow queen's world riku desperately searches for daisuke. she stuffs her hands into her pockets and pulls out a black feather she had taken from far earlier, and follows its guidance to the snow queen herself, daisuke lying on the ground beside her.

'do you believe in him? i see fear, hope... hesitation.' huh?!? why are you saying something so crazy at a time like this?! even though riku vented her anger, there was no change in the woman's white face. 'i'll show you his true form.' as the woman spoke, a crackling sound was heard and a wall of ice formed to cover daisuke's body. 'wait, what are you doing?!' riku, who shook off the woman's hand and ran towards daisuke, gasped. '....what?!' inside the wall of ice, daisuke's appearance changed. that man riku was afraid of--- dark. 'niwa-kun...!! is it really niwa-kun?! ' riku looked down at the block of ice in which dark was trapped. she wasn't sure why, but she definitely felt like daisuke was within it. this is a bad dream, riku said to herself. the witch is showing me a bad dream. even though it's just a dream, my heart still feels like it's going to burst.

riku expresses her frustrations and confusions as she bangs on the ice; just when she thought he was kind, he'd suddenly pull away, and she didn't know what he thought of her, the next moment she was happy they could talk a lot, he'd get carried away and say something harsh. she doesn't understand it well herself, and she doesn't care if people hate her, and daisuke only had a cold and scary expression on his face but that was it.

even if this was his true form. there are words i haven't said yet. 'i... i haven't told you properly yet. even though i told you to wait...' a single tear fell from riku. drip, drip. daisuke felt his heart tremble. he could see riku crying. beyond the wall, where he couldn't reach even if he extended his hand.

incapable of breaking the queen's ice, daisuke can't move. hiwatari's and his father's words flash in his mind, however: if there are guideposts, nobody will get lost. in this world, magic is something created by the human heart, so it can be definitely broken. he shouts for riku not to cry and desperately confesses that he loves her, the ice surrounding him dissolving and his frozen heart in the snow queen's hand thawing and vanishing, the snow queen with it. niwa and riku hug, only daisuke realizes she's nestled into his arms in a way that's 'extremely comfortable to hold,' leading to his surprise over still having dark's body. riku, not caring, clings to him (dark!) and cries--- and wasn't this one of the first scenes the snow queen had showed him?

'it looks like an evil witch had cast a spell on me.' 'magic....? but, no matter what happens to niwa-kun, i'll still love him.'

this triggers daisuke's genes and he transforms back into himself.

'riku-san... it seems like the spell has been broken thanks to you.'

they laugh a little and daisuke gratefully thanks her- thanks to her, he was able to get back something important; both his and dark's heart, who love riku.

from a distance, dark and the snow queen chat: dark asks if she really wanted daisuke as if he's known the answer all along, because the snow queen was reacting to the feelings of thinking directly about one person in search of her creator, who was no longer there. her feelings went out of control because she understood the feelings of her creator than anyone else, and dark remarks that there might have been a misunderstanding somewhere --- but he has no idea what else she might be feeling, and that's it scary, to which she bows her head. he adds on that it might not be bad to be that single-minded sometimes and laughs - not in a condescending way, but cheerfully.

dark tells her to close her eyes and embraces her, who likewise embraces him back. when she tries to apologize, he tells her that at times like these, a word of thanks from a good girl is enough before smiling gently at her- 'for the first time.'

she realized that there was no one else who could make her wishes come true. however, the wishes of her loved ones... how long will her heart continue to live, wishing for the happiness of her loved ones? she undestood. '...thank you.'

outside the snow queen's world, snow begins to fall and hiwatari smiles at it while risa angrily asks if she thinks that everyone believes it's impossible to catch dark - which earns her a round of laughter from her friends. hiwatari is the only one to agree with her, while daisuke and riku are transported back into the forest. riku says that she had a weird dream to a passive daisuke. she talks about the snow queen and how she thought it was cute, but in her dream, the snow queen was relieved of her sadness and smiling - so she's kind of happy too. everythig was for the sake of a smile; daisuke smiles, and riku wonders just how everything could have been a dream- ever since daisuke seemed cold, or all the way since the first time she had seen him instead of dark? either's fine, she thinks to herself. 'daisuke's right here next to and makes me laugh.'

riku musters up her courage 'for the umpteenth time': 'maybe.. we had the same dream? it would be nice if...' she blushes and looks away, which is enough to get daisuke's heart beating. he wants to avoid turning into dark in a situation like this and so he looks for a distraction - finding one in the snow falling onto riku's head like an angel's halo; a small white tiara.

daisuke called out the snow queen by her real name. then he remembered something important. i have to tell you this properly --- this is all i want to say... so dark, don't come out yet. praying so, daisuke suppressed his pounding heart and opened his mouth. 'riku-san, maybe i heard it in a dream, but...' daisuke whispered into her ear, and the only others that could hear him was the falling snow.

epilogue.

saehara bursts out of nowhere and interrupts riku and daisuke's cute moment, telling them to get lost and that he's waiting for dark. daisuke hesitates because he can't decide what's less embarassing to say to riku, despite the way that the only way he feels he can express himself is by calling her precious to him. saga and funabashi chat over a recording of dark's(daisuke's) heist and descent: although the image isn't clear, the sense of presence is undeniable.

'it's like the best jewel that can't be damaged no matter what. i wonder what it is...' 'isn't it worth polishing?' 'even something as simple as that is enough. saga tried to come up with the right words. the more you hurt him, the more he'll gain ground. i want someone with that kind of strength.'

daisuke, on the roof of his house, continues to look up at the moon, recognizing hiwatari's words regarding shaddows as correct. dark butts in to ask what daisuke was secretly doing with riku, to which daisuke says it's none of his business. dark says that he came back because daisuke 'cried and begged' him to be with him, to which daisuke shouts that he didn't say any of that. although it was his chance to get rid of dark, he didn't think of it. dark, meanwhile, was only laughing at daisuke's reaction, enjoying watching the boy scratch his head until daisuke also bursts into laughter.

in the back of his mind, daisuke felt strangely nostalgic about interactions like this. the feeling of despair he felt when he was alone looking up a the moon suddenly comes back to him. then, when he landed on the roof of the museum alone, he was uneasy. when he thought of riku waiting for him to come back, he felt a surge a courage. when he came to pick up dark, he felt scared. he won't tell dark because it's frustrating, but dark understands. if you have someone you love, then you won't be alone - that's what daisuke thinks as he looks up at the moon.

inside daisuke's room, emiko pulls kosuke along to show him a picture from daisuke's sketchbook.

there was a girl there. 'this is daisuke's favorite girl. her name is riku harada.' white lace curtains flow like a veil, bright enough to withstand the red wind. the profile of a girl with a simple smile. the girl's head was adorned with a tiara that emmited a pure white shine. her smile seemed to cast light in the dimly lit room.

#*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT. #fav #reference. #IM NOT GOING THRU THE AFTERWARD..... idk if anybody'd want it but jus tknow im leaving it out #if there's anything that egregiously doesn't make sense lmk too because a) i'm not double checking this for a while #and b) my keyboard's broken so i am Plagued by typos #i tried to keep it clean though

[diana-fortyseven]

Candy Hearts Bingo 2024

The Candy Hearts 2024 collection is finally revealed, and many of us love to read more than just our own gifts and treats. If gamification is your thing, why not enhance your Candy Hearts reading experience with a fun challenge?

Candy Hearts Bingo

With this bingo card generator, you can generate your own Candy Hearts Reading Bingo Card and try to finish it over a timespan of your choice. If you like, you can challenge yourself to not only reading the fics, but also commenting on them.

There are no fanfic/fandom/exchange-negative or bashing items in the lists. This bingo card is meant to be a positive experience and celebrate fanfiction and fanworks in general, and Valentine's Day and Candy Hearts in specific.

Screenshot of the mobile version and instructions and such under the cut! :D

How to Play

Generate a new bingo card until you're (mostly) happy with the results. If some fields are duplicates or contain items you don't want to have in your card, you can then re-roll every single bingo field separately by clicking/tapping on it. If you have JavaScript enabled, you can also switch between the bingo fields with [Tab] and re-roll them with [Enter]. Once you have a card that fits your reading habits (or that takes you out of your comfort zone, if you want to challenge yourself), take a screenshot of the card to keep it.

Closing the page and reloading it will reset the card.

Cross off the bingo fields on your screenshot as you read (or read and comment on) fics that you think count for a field.

Items like "Fandom with over 500 works" mean works in the fandom tag, not in the collection. There are specific versions for the number of works in the collection. Items like "Fandom with over 1,000 works" doesn't mean qualifying works. There are specific versions for the number of qualifying works. Items like "Highest number of hits in fandom" or similar however mean in this collection, not in the fandom tag.

If a work you read has a tag that's similar but not identical to a tag on your card, let it count. There were some almost-duplicates that I trimmed.

The Lists

Canon (options like canon released this year, book fandom, etc)

Category (the AO3 categories and their platonic versions: F/F, F & F, Gen, etc)

Creator (only if you checked the "After Reveals" box; options like favourite author, mutuals, etc)

Discovery (various ways you could've found a fic)

Fandom (options like tiny fandom, uncategorised fandom)

Length (wordcounts from drabble to 30k)

Meta (a fic's front-end and stats, also "citrus scale for rating" xD)

Reader (your relationship with the fic; is it your comfort fic, or your first fic in a fandom?)

Style (chatfic, iambic pentameter, custom workskin, stuff like that)

Tag Roughly 1,500 tags from the 2024 main collection)

Trope (roughly 100 tropes)

What do the Checkboxes Mean?

NSFW is basically what it says on the tin. If you tick this box, the NSFW tropes will be added to the mix. If you also ticked the Tags box, NSFW tags will be added.

Tags is also what it says on the tin. It's a list with currently roughly 1,500 tags from the Candy Hearts 2024 main collection. Around 200 of them are currently marked NSFW and can only be generated if you ticked both the NSFW box and the Tags box.

After Reveals includes items that only make sense after creator reveals, such as "work by last year's recipient" or "creator is your Tumblr mutual".

Leaving the NSFW checkbox unchecked should remove all NSFW tags and tropes, but you could still come across content you find objectionable. Leaving the Tags checkbox unchecked removes all tags, but you could still come across tropes you find objectionable.

This bingo generator can be used to generate totally safe-for-work or family-friendly bingo cards, but it was created by an adult with an adult audience in mind.

If you run into any issues or come across any bugs, please let me know. If you find something that should be in the NSFW category, but isn't, please also let me know. It's possible that I missed a few tags when I worked through the list of over 1,600 tags in the collection. Please don't ask me to remove content you find objectionable. If there's anything unclear, feel free to ask! I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible, but please understand if it takes a while; it's a busy time for all of us. :D

Just FYI, the platform I'm using, Perchance, recently added AI options for their generators. This is a regrettable decision that I don't condone, and I'd like to emphasise that this generator is 100% handcrafted chaos. It's possible that the site asks you to disable your adblocker to be able to load properly. There are exactly zero ads on any of my generators and it's safe for you to allowlist Perchance.org for using this bingo generator.

This generator is based on my Fanfiction Reading Bingo and my Yuletide Bingo; which I made as little practice pieces for funsies. It's responsive, which means it should work on desktop and mobile. The mobile layout isn't ideal yet; I'm trying my best to make it better (but I'd also still consider myself a newbie and I'm learning by doing).

The background image is an edited version of this photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash.

I hope you'll find as much fun in using this generator as I found in making it! <3

#Fandom #Fandom Events #Candy Hearts Exchange 2024 #Fandom Bingo #Fanfic Bingo #D47 Codes

[amywritesthings]

What are you reading right now, Amy?

Hi there!!! Fic-wise I haven't been reading anything new.

I have been dabbling with @enterthedreams headcanon-ing for LADS fics but you should check out their other works in the meantime.

I'm a few chapters behind on North Star by @sixpennydame -- also an absolute treasure. Levi fic, post-war, incredible shit.

Dancing with My Demons just updated recently (an @again-please Astarion fic) so I'm eager to jump back into BG3 fic because I miss Astarion (and Neve!)

We All Bleed Red by @littlerequiem is currently in my pinned tab to check out because I am whorish for vampire stuff once again thanks to BG3. That's a Levi AU fic!

My resolution for 2024 was to read more books or at least try them, so for Jan/Feb:

I tried Fourth Wing due to a friend's rec and DNF'd it about 60% through. It just was not for me. I actively wanted Violet to die 😭

However the same friend rec'd ACOTAR and... I know that's like the booktok holy grail, and many people loathe it, but it's genuinely a fun time. Love Feyre. I just binged 200 pages last night.

#anon response #questions. #fic recs tag.

[tziporarosen]

Burn The Devil

Synopsis: When people hear the word devil, an ugly and terrifying image comes to mind, but to Jane, it was Carmilla. Though ugly in morals and humanity, her exterior was far from it, and no matter how much Jane tried to push the feeling towards her away, they kept growing like wildfires, ultimately undoing it all.

Warning: this book contains violence, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome. Please do not read if you are under 18 or are uncomfortable with graphic depictions of violence.

WLW mafia, contains smut.

CHAPTER ONE.. Muddy Fate

“Stop!!! I can't breathe!” I shout out between laughter, my eyes tightly knitted in an attempt to catch my breath. “George! I'm gonna pass out!” I shriek, my lungs desperately grasping onto the breaks of air I got in between tickles.

“Okay fine I’ll stop” he surrenders, laughing with tears glossing over his green eyes. “I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, but seeing you struggle was funny” he giggles before sitting back down on the floor next to me, his feet crossing as he watches me recompose myself.

“Torturing me is funny to you?!” I shout smacking his arm playfully. There was always this tension neither of us could explain, it felt forbidden to bring it up though, both of us afraid of ruining something over unrequited feelings. I always feared it wouldn't be reciprocated, even if his eyes would gaze at me for hours, I would always mount it to something innocent, my mind was merely playing tricks on me. “Seriously though we have to finish this paper, or Mr coffee breath will tie us up and use us as coffee grinders” I jest, thinking about our English professor and his love for coffee.

Yawns attack us both as we struggle to finish the essay that's due in the morning, our eyes begging to glance at something other than endless scribble. “Who cares about what happened in France 200 years ago?” he moans, shoving his face in the research book, groaning as he brushes his fingers into his silky brown hair.

I scoff at his tantrum, “I didn't pick this topic, you did weirdo!” I chastised with a fed up expression as took a deep breath before speaking up once more. “We can do this, we only have 400 words left” I assure as I place my palm over his shoulders, tapping him gently as I lean in to rest my forehead on his back. The scent of his cologne calms my nerves, yet heightens them simultaneously.

2 long hours pass and we can finally see the end of our essay. We close up our books in relieved sighs and close the neverending tabs of research on our laptops. “Film?” I suggested to him.

“I would, but I have so much more work to do before tomorrow. My bar exam is coming up soon and I haven't even opened any of my law books” he pouts as he rests his head on my lap. I nod and place my hand over his head, combing my fingers through his locks as he smiles softly. “How's psychology going? I heard the new professor is ruthless,” George mumbles curiously, his eyes darting between me and the ceiling.

I roll my eyes when he mentions her. “Ugh yes, she doesn't care that we have other courses and majors. Plus she's so mean, do you know what she said to me today?” I rant, my eyes falling to his intrigued expression. “She said and I quote ‘I can tell you're blonde by your work’” I scoff in disbelief, reminding myself of the rage I felt when she stared at me stoically through her glasses. “I mean, who says that? Ugh, I would have strangled her if she wasn’t so scary "I finish, my voice fading into a murmur as I exhale softly.

“Thats fucked up, you should have said something” he advised as he sat up. “And for all it's worth, I think you're incredibly smart, don't let bullies make you doubt that” he comforted, his voice stern as he looked at me.

“Thank you George” I utter, my heart beating at an unfamiliar pace as he assured me, his voice laced in sincerity. “I'm sad you have to go” I groaned, not ready for this night to be over. I'm scared that once he leaves, it'll go back to us dancing around each other's feelings, wondering on who will make the first move. Tonight felt like a leap, finally there was some progress, even if it was just little touches and hair massages.

“I know, but we can meet tomorrow for lunch if you'd like?” he proposed, his tone unsure and nervous, as if this ‘lunch’ was something deeper.

“Yes, lunch, that would be amazing.” I blurted out enthusiastically, quickly catching my temperament as he smiled widely. “I mean, yeah. I would like that,” I reply, my excitement a little softer now. “I guess I'll walk you to the bus stop?” I pose as I stand up. I watch as he places his laptop and books in his bag, catching myself smiling stupidly.

“Yes please, I hate your road at night” he reveals as I help him put his coat on, his shoulders tensing as he throws it over himself.

“It's not that bad if you know where to go and where not to go,” I explained while raising my brow before he throws me an amused eye roll. “It's true, you just need to know where to go,” I continued, my eyes darting back a cocky wink.

“You're such a weirdo” he teases as he wraps his bag over his arms, tucking the little adjuster over his chest. I ignore his insult before we walk down the stairs to collect our shoes and my coat. “See you soon Mr Lawson, have a good night” he calls out to my father sitting on the rusty recliner, his face sunken into his book.

His eyes raise in our direction, his reading glasses slipping down his nose bridge as he shoots George a little smile. “I'm just walking him to the bus stop papa, I'll be back in a few minutes” I state, my voice strained as I put my sneakers on, bouncing on one foot to get it to slide in.

“Okay bug, just be careful, it's late” he mumbles before drawing his attention back to the book in his hand, the cover plastered in different types of butterflies and moths. I pass him a quick nod before we disappear into the snow covered streets.

23:06

I wave him off as he steps on the bus, watching him tap his card before he looks back at me. “text me when you're home, okay?” I shout out to him as he puts his thumb up and rolls his eyes, my concern for his well being completely ignored. My hair flows back lightly as the orange bus drives off, leaving me to shudder at the quiet night. I make my way back home through the narrow streets, the heels of my shoes echoing through the darkness, flickering lamp posts lighting up the way. The zoom of a black car turning into the street I'm on makes me jump, its engine roaring as it speeds past me. No respect for the residents. I roll my eyes, watching it disappear as it turns right before I hear the harsh braking of the car, silence quickly following after. A sudden noise makes my bones freeze into stone. It sounded like a gunshot. I mean- i've never heard one in real life but it sounds the same in the films i've watched.

Shit. I remain frozen in my spot, darting around with my eyes to see if anyone else heard it. I hold my breath as I slowly take a back to retreat behind the bush behind me, hiding my body as I scramble to get to a safe distance. Sudden running footsteps head towards my direction, followed by at least 2 more strong pairs behind them. Until it stops. He falls, a bullet to the back of his head, right in front of the bush I'm shielding under. I cave down to the floor as a screech leaves my lungs, the vibrations echoing against the hollow walls behind me. I quickly cover my mouth to manually alter my reactions and lay flat down on the floor, breathing in the wet mud beneath me. The silence is so deafening, I can hear the blood pulsing to my brain, my lungs caged under my ribs as I hold them still, not daring to breathe.

"What was that?" a woman questions. Her voice - raspy but smooth. From the corner of my eyes, I see her leather shoes take a step towards me, a little click of a gun alerting me to the closeness between us. "Come out" the enigmatic woman asserts, panicking as I hear her address me directly. Fuck, fuck, fuck I'm so dead, what do I do? I shut my eyes as firmly as i can before my hands go to cover the back of my head, hoping maybe I can wish her away. "I'm not gonna say it again, get up and face me" she firmed, her voice alluding in anger yet so calm it caused my blood to run like ice.

I kept my eyes shut as tight as I could before deciding to get up, not wishing to find out what will happen after a third call. I slowly raise my arms up as I stand up. "I didn't see anything, I promise! Please don't kill me! " I plead, my fingers trembling in the air, not daring to open my eyes.

"Look at me" the woman orders softly, her voice somehow making me conform to what she asks, almost obedient. I take a moment before slowly opening my eyes, only to be greeted with a gun facing me. I let out a little scream and closed my eyes again. "I said, look at me" she demands as the woman inches the gun closer to me, making it connect with my forehead. Warm tears roll down my cold cheeks as I open my eyes once again, sharpening my eyes to grab a glimpse of her face under the night light and pistol blocking my central vision. An excruciatingly long moment passed as I stood stock still, my heart hammering in my chest as I waited for her to do it. I took a deep breath, the cold metal on my forehead began to warm as it rested against my skin, preparing for the inevitable. "What's your name?" the woman asks, yet it traveled through me in a muffle, needing to catch myself to identify if I heard her correctly. Why does she need my name?, is she prolonging my death or will I be spared? Not willing to find out, I explore my mouth with my tongue, attempting to get rid of the dryness in my mouth before speaking up.

"Jane" I barely manage to whisper out.

"I can't hear you, speak up" her voice began sounding angrier by the second, the tension in my body solidifying as her words vibrated through my ear.

"Jane, Jane Lawson" I sputtered out in an attempt to dampen the flame. I let out a mewled cry as her finger reached over to the trigger. “My name is Jane Lawson.” I compose myself to state my name clearly, or at least as clearly as I can.

"What are you doing here, jane?" she inquires, the gun tilting in unison with her head. “Pretty girls like you shouldnt be out so late” the woman cooed, her tone wrapped in ridicule and admiration.

"I was walking my friend to the bus stop, please don't hurt me, I won't say anything. I took the wrong turn, I didn't even hear anything" I pleaded, bartering a way out.

Her chuckle echoed in the night, ordering the buried to remain still. "Of course you won't say anything, I mean, how could you?" she asked, although it felt more of a confirmation, a fate set for my life.

"My parents are waiting for me, and my friend will know. Please don't do this, please I'm only 21, I am just a kid!" I cry out in a low scream. Although, after each passing second, being hopeful was becoming futile.

"Ugh, I hate when people do that" she moans, pushing her gun deeper into me as I retreat back carefully. "Please don't kill me, I don't deserve to die!" she mocked, a scrutinizing chuckle in her tone. My eyes looked up at the woman, nonplussed that begging for my life was to no avail, it was useless. She analyzes me for a brief moment, "Come with me, I don't want to kill you so close to home" she explains, almost as if I should be thankful, or even content. "I mean, it would be so upsetting for mama to see her little baby dead, right, guys?" she laughs, glancing back at the two people behind her. The tall man chuckled along nervously, as the other woman kept a flat expression across her face as she opened the door. The woman looked similar to the one standing before me, a little shorter but if you didn't know them, you'd expect them to be related, sisters even.

The mysterious woman lowers her gun and puts it in her jacket, allowing me to grab a quick glance at her features against the lamppost above. Her dark brunette hair is tightly tucked into a low military bun, her cheekbones high and prominent, her skin rough but looks so smooth to the touch. Her eyes are a shade of green I've never laid eyes on before, it had the depth of an eternal forest, yet sombered ivy around her pupils of space. A sigh of relief and dread leaves my body as she walks towards the car. This is my chance, I can maybe outrun her if she's distracted. Holding my breath, I took my chance and started running, my legs sprinting as fast as I could, my body in auto. The tall woman quickly turns and runs after me, the pair behind her jumping into their car and speeding off harshly to make a U-TURN.

After a couple of seconds that felt like eternity and a mere glimpse of a millisecond all at once, she catches up to me, grabbing me by the back of my coat as she pulls me back harshly. It feels as though my back caught aflame as she pins me up against a wall, the back of my head hitting the wall as a smack hits my cheek. "Did you really think you could outrun me? Do that again and I'll make you wish I killed you." she badgered, anger evident in her heavy voice, her eyes sharp, calculating.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I sob out, not knowing what else to say or do, I knew it was stupid but I had to take my chances, I couldn't give up just yet. "I'm scared," I confessed in a staggered whisper as she drew a little smile on her face, her head tilting as she studied me.

"You're so pretty when you cry" she compliments gently as she places her palm on my cheek, a growing smile that doesn’t reach the eyes, plastered across her face. Her cold hands sent shivers down my spine, keeping me frozen under her grip. Words caught in my throat, I mustered the courage to focus my attention to her intense glare, the light above us giving me the perfect opportunity to gawk. How can someone so beautiful be so.. evil?

"I'm not taking any more chances with you" she speaks up, her body retreating from mine as she grabs me by the waist and lifts me up over her shoulder in a swift motion.

"No please, don't take me please! HELP!" I cry out as I kick my feet against her abdomen and use my fists to punch her back. No reaction. She walks over to the car, practically throwing me in the backseat and getting in after me. The car went still for a moment as the pair stepped in the front of the car, driving off hastily as I caught a glimpse of the neighborhood disappearing behind me. I continue to cry and scream as they drive silently, my voice muting the calm music seeping through the radio speakers, hoping that'll make her let me go. Suddenly her hand reaches for my neck as she pins me down in a swift motion, her cold hands wrapping around like barbed wire over my skin as I struggle trying to get her hand off my throat.

"I...I can't bre-breath, stop" I plead in between breaths, desperately clawing my nails into her wrists. She tightens her grip as my vision starts to blur, her eyes darkening the more I blink helplessly.

"Are you going to be quiet now? or do I have to kill you to have some peace? Hmm?" she asked sharply, her words low and measured. I nod aggressively as tears roll down my face, my mind spinning in loops, her hand restricting the blood pleading to go to my head. She loosens the grip on my neck slowly, making me cough into oblivion, the musky tobacco air now felt so rejuvenating to my lungs as it reached for my brain. Breathing heavily, I close my eyes in defeat, giving in to my inevitable destiny that awaits when I leave this car, that is if I even make it out.

Let me know what you think, I know this isn’t what I usually see on tumblr but I thought I’d share some content with you guys :)

#wlw #lesbian #lesbian smut #lesbian romance #nsft wlw #wlw mafia #wlw nsft #wlw ns/fw #wlw love #smut

[paradoxcase]

I mean, The Ninth is small enough to have only 200 kids at one point , all of its people fit in one chapel and Harrow can keep tab on the censes by her head so ,yeah , it's like they're from one of those isolated Nordic cities were you definitely know everyone by name and they would know if Gideon's mom is from there .

There was also a part of they questioning the prision station above the planet if she was from there .

Ok, look, let's try to deduce how many people there were on the Ninth based on there being 200 children. Here is a list of the percentage of children in various countries worldwide. You can see that this ranges from about 49% to about 12%. The average of just those two numbers is around 30%, and the US is listed here with a percentage of about 18%, and the median of this list of countries is about 25%, let's use all of those numbers, just for fun, but I would expect Pluto to be more like the US in terms of this demographic, since the labor of actually growing food is all done by skeletons, so having extra kids just means more people to feed and raise and not more help growing food, and I would at least sort of hope that they would have a low infant mortality rate and decent average lifespans after 10,000 years. If 200 is 30% of the population, there are about 666 people (spooky), if 200 is 18% of the population, there are 1,111 people, if 200 is 25% of the total that is 800 people. All of those numbers are big enough that they're certainly not going to know everyone by name. The reason there's hardly anyone there at the start of the book and they all fit in a single chapel is that something happened 16 years ago (two years after Gideon and her mom were found) that resulted in 198 of those 200 children going missing for some reason, and it's implied that something similar happened to the rest of the population. But at the time that Gideon's mom was found, there were pretty much guaranteed, at least 600 people living there, probably much more.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth

[space-blue]

okay first of all how does anyone bear to do asks i need to keep switching between two tabs trying to figure out what questions i'm trying to ask, there's got to be an easier way-- BUT right, Behind the Scenes asks: 1, 5, 12, 18 PLEASE, and 23. (PS am i supposed to ask so many? prob not. screw it, i'm greedy (PPS am i supposed to be anon rn idk if that's correct etiquette)) THANKS!

I jot the numbers down somewhere if I'm getting overwhelmed. You did great though! And no, there is no etiquette on how many to ask, don't worry. If there's a double I'll just send you to the other ask. More means I get to talk about fic more, which is great! :3

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Star Wars, Thrawn x OC. I was pretty sauced. I think I have some great moments in there, and I was free to create all the banter I wanted, etc. But it suffers a LOT from me being completely new to multi chapter work. I go into meandering tengeants and don't know when to stop on the world building. It had its fans and really dragged me into the whole fanfic universe though. Maybe one day I'll finish it, but I had no idea which way to go. I feel like I wrote myself in a corner, somewhat haha

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I don't mind loud spaces like cafes or pubs, so long as the music isn't obnoxious and I can hear my own. I just like places where nobody is going to come to me to interrupt me. Sadly I live and work in a backpacker hostel, meaning I have 50 odd housemates at any given time, without counting the 250 guests. I get interrupted a LOT. So right now, hidden in my bed or hunkering down at my fav cafe, would be my answer.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Yes! There's this Tarkin & Ahsoka fic I mentioned in this ask. It focuses on the amnesia trope. I really, really like to write sort of mind fucky things from character PoV. So Tarkin struggling with shattered memories and having to rebuild himself while trusting this total stranger… Hard. Especially when WE all know she's lying to him to try and use him for her side, because the rebellion just needs the help that badly. I do need to make better research on real amnesia before I apply scifi logic to it... And I need to not be hyperfixation on Quaritch's blue ass. His own trope scratches a similar itch, since he's a clone with implanted memories. So identity crisis as well...

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

OK ok I have this entry from my Hannibal ficlets that focuses on a secret inside the "mind palace" Hannibal Lecter has. I've read all three relevant Hannibal books, watched the films, all TV series… And then I read the book Piranesi by Susanna Clarke. It's excellent and I recommend it. It focuses on a man living inside an enormous house that has three levels going in all directions, with clouds in the top level and a sea with rushing tides in the bottom. There are statues everywhere… And birds… And it's very WTF and it takes you a long time to understand what's going on. It's in this man's pov too which thickens the mystery.

I love the works of Piranesi. He's an italian architect and archaelogist who once got sick. 22 yo and delirious with fever, he sketched a series of 'infinite prisons' which you can see here!

So I'm writing this tiny daily ficlet, trying to stick as close to 200 words as I can, and I was folding myself into a piranesian pretzel trying to FIT THE DAMN EXPRESSION in. Making Hannibal's mind palace into a piranesian thing.

There is a corner of his mind always plagued by snow. It is a torturous journey there, through labyrinthine passages, down echoing stairwells and across bridges arcing over the piranesian landscape of his palace. It is easy to lose one's way, to be distracted by the vaulted ceilings of a chapel, the confines of well used hideouts, or the familiar outlines of his Baltimore office. But if he keeps walking, fingers brushing against all the door-frames of all the halls of his mind, eventually they alight on damp wood, cold and brittle. 

[he's off to visit his baby sister, who he keeps in there. He was forced to eat her by soldiers as a child, yeah it's dark]

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

I'm not super hung up on this idea. I write and move on. I have 151 works currently and I've been on ao3 for not even 3 years. So as you can imagine I have a tendency to create a new work rather than worry about remixing.

This being said I'd probably completely retool my very first fic, as per answer 1. I'd change the OC, shorten the plot by A LOT, get the action started sooner, completely drop a lot of worldbuilding… It's a slog, which can be very sweet in a fanfic when you're enjoying the slog content, but dear lord, it makes for awkward re-reading. I'd make the OC an alien instead of a human raised by aliens. Too much going on.

#ask #anon ask #thanks a lot anon!

[thegodatyourdoor]

getting to know you !

thanks @yanwushi for tagging me !

favourite time of year: winter ! i love the cold and my birthday always falls around the solstice 

comfort food: noodles. instant noodle soups my beloved

do you collect anything: yes ! i have a mug collection, a sock collection, and i am beginning some small book collections: so far i have 3 copies of pride and prejudice, 3 copies of little women, and several poetry books 

favourite drink: vanilla iced latte OR a French 75, depending on the time of day 

favourite music artists: GANG OF YOUTHS, doja cat, paris paloma, mitski 

current favourite songs: brave as a noun, applause, the fruits 

favourite fics: i have like 200 tabs open i cannot Pick 

favourite video games: ahh i dont game ! 😭😭 if i did it would probably be five nights at freddie’s

tagging @space-knight-dummy, @bloodclotbitch, @kismet-ignis, and whoever else wants to join !

#cheri personal #tagging game

[lifeworksstudios]

Destination Wedding Photography & Wedding Films in 2023

Best wedding photographers in Gurgaon Being able to share incredible, organic memories with our clients is a dream job. I believe we’d still do it even if we retired. We’re lucky. We’re grateful.

Maybe you’ve spent your entire life envisioning a small, intimate wedding in an actual castle in Italy. (If that’s you, skip the rest and just call us already.) Or maybe you started planning a fabulous 200-guest soiree in New Delhi / Gurugram Area and got a little overwhelmed. One of you closed the 17 tabs and said “Let’s just have a big fat wedding” and now you’re looking for the best (read: most fun) photographer to take with you.

Or maybe you came to our site looking for a New Delhi Wedding Photographer and happened upon this page. Because you maybe deep down want a destination wedding? Maybe?

Based in both New Delhi & Jaipur, we have the privilege of bouncing back & forth & anywhere else we can! — (IF its not clear) We LOVE to Travel!

Jaipur? Udaipur? Jodhpur? Jaisalmer? Neemrana? Goa? Puri? Mahabaleshwar? Mahabalipuram?

However you got here, you’re in the right place. Because magical destination weddings are kind of our thing. 

We’ve spent years developing relationships with planners and venues all over the country so we can better serve clients like you who are looking for something different (read personalised). We see love as both – Friday nights cuddled up on the couch watching Netflix – and – strolling down cobblestone streets of the city trying to decide where to stop for just one more glass of wine.

Love is your most ordinary moments and your biggest adventure. So why not start this whole marriage thing with your best trip yet?

OUR BAGS ARE PACKED AND READY TO GO. Our bucket list of locations: Italy (always!), Toronto, Switzerland, Middle East, Spain, France, Maldives, New Zealand, Australia.

If you are looking for something not cheesy and already done, please go for them! They have amazing unique ideas, and understand at first go what you want. They are the best in their field! Thank you once again from the bottom of our hearts!!” – Tanya & Aarohi, Dharamshala, Himachal

THIS IS THE PART WHERE WE GET TO

START A NEW ADVENTURE

SO LET’S GET TO IT!

It’s our honour to retell these timeless tales and we cannot wait to begin yours!

We are the best destination wedding photographers and wedding filmers in Jaipur, Udaipur, Jaisalmer, Jodhpur, Puri, Musoorie, Goa, foof! overall in India. We have been in the business of destination wedding photography and wedding films for over 10 years! and have an experienced team to do it all! We understand the importance of capturing the perfect moments of your destination wedding and work day & nights to provide you with the best possible service. We use the latest equipment and techniques to ensure that your wedding photos and videos are of the highest quality. We understand that your destination wedding is a once in a lifetime celebrations and we work hard to capture all the special moments so that you can relive them for years to come. Contact us today to learn more about our services and to book your wedding photography and videography requirements.

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[nooowestayandgetcaught]

1-40 or just whichever ones vibe the most that u wanna do 💅✨

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

Mostly I sit alone on my bed with a water bottle and open Spotify/YouTube for music and open my usual writing tabs. I guess I cursed part is I forget to eat when I probably should be eating.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

As soon as I post something on AO3, I cannot look at it. Not at least for several days. I do not want to know or see the stats on it. It's not about if they are 100% true or not,,, I have a paranoia disorder.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Engaging with other people. Hearing what they think. I love the writing itself but I also love the community keeping us going.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Oh totally. Some shit has happened that I can't explain. Who am I to say that ghosts aren't real? I can't prove that for a fact.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

all of my WIPs are haunting me sdkdlajjdksfdjj

I'm gonna say "haunted" for me is "I like how it turned out so much that it's haunted my thoughts" and I would have to go with The Darkest Evening Of The Year (Narrator/Owner of Woods, Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening - Robert Frost, T-rated, 200 words) because the rhythm of the prose just knocks me over I am so happy with how it turned out and Speak Softly (Loki/Sylvie, MCU, T-rated, 5388 words) because I took this kickass idea I had from a while ago and I executed it so much better than I imagined it. That's a damn good feeling.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

I murdered my darling Lyra Belacqua in Devil's Side (and I have been told by more people than on any other fic to my memory that they were horrified and broken up by what happened to her).

I murdered my darling Luke Skywalker in The Countdown

I murdered my darling Keith and Shiro in Survive The Night

I murdered my darling... the entire Young Justice team in Where We Belong (well, I mean it's an afterlife fic,,,,,,, if that helps).

I murdered my darling Leon Orcot in Unwaking

I murdered my darling Rapunzel in Tower, Tower, Burning Bright 

I murdered my darling Anna in In The Ground Where We Lie

And last, but certainly not at all least, me and @glove23 murdered our darling Arya Stark in So Goodbye Until Tomorrow

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

Mmm,,, I was someone who cursed someone,,,, I would be cursing someone who still has my books I let them borrow. I do not let people borrow from me anymore. Only if they live with me.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I started when I was nine. I just started writing in my notebooks about fairy tales I made up in my head and then I wrote about scary stories/urban legends I remembered when I was around twelve. I kept writing, because I liked it and I liked being in my own imagination, and it gravitated between original works and fanfiction. The bumps were always things outside of the writing. I am in my thirties now and I am still writing and still enjoying being in my head. That's not changing.

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

Absolutely not. It keeps me from snapping. ADSMLASADMLJ.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

It's less "who is more stressful" and more "why are they so stressed" that will get me. We talk about actors getting character bleed,,,, but what do you call it when you are writing and the emotions you are invoking for the fictional character are now affecting you?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

They're all a delightful. A delightful pain in my ass.

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

From trying to fix canon. From bouncing off ideas and headcanons from friends. From going on anon memes/kink memes. From fandom-based events like ship weeks or fandom weeks or gift exchanges.

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

i love you i love every second you breathe i love you i love how you comment i love how you think of details i love you i love how you chose to stay with me even when i write the most insane shit possible and put it out into the world and you look at your email alerts like "what the everloving FUCK have you done" and then delete the email i love you i love your feelings you feel no matter if you tell me them to me or not i love you and i see you and i know there's not enough i can say to properly convey how you keep me going i love you i love you

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

✨no✨

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Hmmm. Probably the "don't start anything with dialogue hurrdurr-" shut the fuck up I'm writing fanfic I'm gonna do whatever I want

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

They would think "damn this bitch has a thing for whump" SDLDSSDJOSDJOJ nah I think they would see that I was involved in a lot of subjects and conversations about people and so on.

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

When the lows are low, they're fucking low. I try to remember that I am human and I do actually love writing even if the voice in my head tells me I'm not good enough. The voice loves to convince me that nobody cares about me and that other people are better than me. And then I realize,,,, yeah,,, there are other people better than me at writing! And that's just life! We have different writing styles and characterizations and audiences! It doesn't make me less of a good writer if I didn't get the engagement I was hoping for on a story! You just accept it! You accept it and you move onto the next story. That's all you can do.

#ask #glove23 #long post #about rie

[mundanities-and-camaraderies]

On Dog-earing Pages

When I was younger on the internet, it seemed like everyone was, in a way, vilifying the act of “dog-earing” as a method of bookmark. At the time I was one of those kids who devoured two or three full-length novels every week, and checked out ten or twelve library books at a time – six from the community library, and six from school. At the time, this made a lot of sense to me. Checking out a book so creased your sometimes couldn’t read the words (or similarly with stains, or handwriting) was annoying, even frustrating. The idea that people didn’t respect my chosen method of escapism infuriated me. 

Recently I saw this post acknowledging the lack of real stimuli in our day to day lives. How much of our attention each day goes to a tiny rectangular screen, to flashing lights and sound effects tailored to capture as much of your focus and time as possible? Obviously I’m kind of a hypocrite, because I’m clearly on Tumblr typing this right now, but even outside of our phones or laptops or tablets, how much of what we see is real, and how much is just an image? 

I’ve been traveling for this past week, and one thing I noticed was that across the USA, so many things just look exactly the same. Hundreds of miles apart, everything is so standardized that it hardly feels like being in a new place, because I’m not experiencing anything new. Traveling is important to me because it gives the opportunity of experiencing something new, something outside of daily life, but how much of what I saw actually was new to me? The beds in hotels a couple hours on the plane away were identical down to the shape and size of the too-soft pillows. 

These past few years, I’ve read a lot fewer paper books. My coping mechanism of choice has been updated to fanfiction, readily accessed on my phone or my laptop, AO3 one of my most accessed tabs. And doesn’t that say something about how we perceive change, as well? One of my favorite things about fanfic is that it doesn’t require me to get invested in new characters or new concepts when my brain doesn’t have the energy for it – it repackages all the things about my favorite media that I already love, sometimes in a new universe, sometimes with new relationships, but mostly just the same ideas in different words. Not that this is a bad thing, and I consume so much of it because I love it, but I do think it goes to show. Show what? I’m not really sure. 

When I do read books in the form of ink on paper, I do think there’s something special about being able to dog-ear the pages to keep track of where I am. Being able to see the track of how many pages I usually read in one sitting from the still-slightly-creased-but-now-unfolded edges is fascinating to me. It’s taken me over a week to get through this one, even though it’s good, and is only around 200 pages long. I suppose, now, most of my books are for class, and almost all of them I’ve purchased, not checked out from a library, so that could be a part of it. But the other part is being able to physically feel the paper under my fingers, to run a fingernail over the crease so that it sticks, to flip the pages into that sort of fan shape. 

Is the convenience and allure of digitalization worth the loss of experiencing? I can’t remember the last time I got a paper cut. 

#does this count as an essay #essay #digitalization #understimulation #mental health #? #jack #writing tag

[sugawarassoccerlover]

200 Followers Q&A Event

Here's a list of random questions, pick a number to send in my ask box and I'll answer with a video!

My favorite quote

Last movie I watched

Top 3 TV shows

Top 5 blogs on tumblr 

Ever tried alcohol/drugs

Where do I want to live

10 facts about me

Biggest regret

A wish

Something I wish I didn’t have to lie about

Dream date

If I could change one thing in my life, what would it be?

Something I don’t like

How many pillows do I sleep with?

What position do I usually sleep in?

How big is my house?

What do I usually have for breakfast?

Have I ever fired a gun?

Have I ever tried archery?

Favorite clean word?

Favorite swear word?

Longest I’ve gone without sleep?

Do I have any scars?

Can you do any accents besides your own?

Do you have a strong accent?

Personality type?

Most expensive piece of clothing?

Am I left or right handed?

Am I scared of spiders?

Am I scared of snakes?

Favorite food?

Favorite foreign food?

Clean or messy person?

Do I prefer coke or pepsi? 

Someone I hate?

What’s my dream job?

Ever been in love?

Last time I cried?

What’s my favorite color?

What color are my eyes?

Do I have an obsession?

Kisses or hugs with an s/o?

Favorite song?

Favorite band?

What song did you listen to last?

How many followers do I have? 

How many am I following? 

What am I wearing?

What are the three most recent websites in my history?

Most recent download? 

What’s the first URL that pops up into my search box when I type the letter “a”

How many tabs do I have open? 

Bad habits?

Can I drive?

Pet peeves 

Last person I hugged?

What’s my zodiac?

Song stuck in my head?(teenage dirtbag)

What part of the world do I live in? 

Somewhere I’d like to visit? 

Do I like my home?

Favorite season?

What kind of phone do I have?

Something I’m excited for? 

How long does it take me to get ready?

Biggest fear?

Favorite animal? 

Do I get grossed out easily?

Who’s the last person I texted? 

Shuffle my playlist, name the first five songs. 

How my day was?

How my week was?

My most listened to song? 

The last person who called me? 

Things that sum me up as a person?

Why I chose my url? 

What I think of when someone says “home” 

Opinions on Harry Potter?

One thing on my bucket list?

Favorite fandom and why?

Favorite pairing and why? 

A guilty pleasure? 

A habit I wish I don’t have?

An experience I’ll never forget

Last movie that I saw in theatres

What I wanted to be as a kid?

Something that bothers me? 

Favorite material items?

What keeps me going every day?

3 random fears?

3 things I love?

The reason I joined tumblr?

Something I really, really want right now

Favorite movie?

What I find attractive in people? 

My relationship with my parents?

Favorite holiday? 

What pets do I have? 

My future goals? 

Celebrity crushes I’ve had? 

Number of kids that I want?

Five ways to win my heart?

A book I love? 

My views on mainstream music? 

How important I think education is? 

Five people I find attractive?

Something I miss? 

1 thing I like about myself and 1 thing I dislike about myself? 

Five weird things that I like? 

How many of my followers do I know in real life?

Whats something I like about a character that isn’t my favorite? 

My current otp?

A pairing I didn’t really consider but someone changed my mind about it?

First fictional character I had a crush on?

Favorite youtuber? 

First concert?

Have I ever got made fun of for something I like?

Have I ever met any of my idols? 

Do I have merch of the people I fangirl over?

My current lock screen? 

Weird fact about me? 

First fandom? 

Last book I read?

Have I ever been to the hospital(besides for check ups)? 

Do I prefer baths or showers?

Have I ever been famous?

Have I ever gotten in trouble with the law?

What kind of music do I like? 

Something I can’t leave the house without?

Whats my favorite sport? 

Favorite subject in school?

Indoors or outdoors? 

An insecurity I have? 

Top 3 kins? 

Character I’m embarrassed to kin?

Do I want tattoos? If so what of? 

Favorite movie genre? 

Favorite studio Ghibli movie? 

Have I ever broken up with someone?

Name 3 shows I watched as a kid? 

What’s a show that everyone loves that I didn’t?

Do I scare easily?

Is there a vine or tiktok I quote regularly? 

Do I have a comfort movie? 

Whats my favorite thing to watch on youtube? 

Is there a genre of music I don’t like? 

Do I often dream or have nightmares that I remember when I wake up?

What time of day do I like best?

Back scratches or having my hair played with?

What’s the last show I binged? 

What superpower would I want to have?

Am I more like my mom or dad?

Do I consume a lot of caffeine? 

What fear do I want to conquer? 

Favorite social media app?

How much time do I spend average daily on my phone? 

How long would I survive a zombie apocalypse? 

Have I ever seen anything paranormal? 

Coffee or tea?

How many cousins do I have?

Would I ever skydive? 

Do I prefer the city or the country? 

What sport do I enjoy watching? 

What video game do I play the most? 

What’s a game I think is underrated? 

Am I a good singer? 

Who’s my favorite actor? 

Would I ever start my own business? 

Apple or Samsung? 

When was my first kiss? 

Least favorite band/artist? 

Would I change anything about my upbringing if I could? 

Rollercoasters or waterslides? 

Most emotional movie I’ve ever seen? 

Infinite money or meeting my soulmate? 

Do I believe in love at first sight? 

If I won the lottery, what would I do? 

Favorite public transport? 

Am I conscious about my health? 

Worst phase of my family life?

Do I wish I’m an only child? 

Do I like to participate in family arguments? 

One food I hated but found out I like it? 

Weirdest ice cream flavor I’ve tried? 

Have I ever been beaten up?

Have I ever beaten up someone? 

A book I think it was wrong to make into a movie?

A movie I think was more successful than the book? 

How do I initiate a conversation with someone? 

Worst name I can come up with for a child? 

If I met a genie, what would my wishes be? 

Something random that I know about/want to learn about? 

Do I have a favorite pickup line?

Has anyone ever told me they hate me? 

Do I excercise? 

Have I ever experienced deja vu? 

Am I afraid of getting old? 

Do I have any stuffed animals? 

Do I easily make friends? 

What’s my dream vehicle?

#kross is a spammer #200 people like my content somehow

[elmaxlys]

Any games/shows/mangas/etc you plan on avoiding or never getting into? (Ex avoiding One Piece for the length, etc)

Yeah, not so much as avoiding but some stuff just. don't interest me, you know? It's a matter of personal taste, nothing to do with length or stuff - I'm into the Cosmere, my dude, length doesn't scare me. Of course my list is always subject to change as I grow up and stuff, for example I used to dislike reading plays and now I quite enjoy them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here are some stuff I don't see myself getting into as of now or near future: Les Rougon-Macquart, bit-lit, crime novels, Game of Thrones

I've tried crime novels by different authors and it's not my thing (interestingly, I do love My Home Hero and Hannibal 🤔). Bit-lit just doesn't interest me. I have a personal grudge against Emile Zola for having read Germinal in high-school. I've watched the first episode of GoT and promptly closed the tab <- it was quite a few years ago so I might try again in a few years and see if I was just too young for it at the time. Additionally, anything with a "tiktok famous" sticker on it is actively repulsive to me lol

Also, regarding One Piece: I did try! It's interesting and I like the characters and stuff, but I watched the anime and the pace is. bad. so I've dropped it (watched up to, like, ep 200 + Marineford). But I loved the Netflix series! I might one day go for the manga when I have more brain space! Who knows? Not me.

But one thing I don't see changing, tbh, is the fact that I'm not getting into games. That's not for me. I have no interest in playing and I've tried to watch some playthroughs of games whose lore interest me and I just. can't. Games aren't for me. RIP TG Jail.... maybe one day Glénat will translate the scenario book and I'll get to know you but in the meantime you will remain oh so far away from me

#thank you <3 #i'm always open except for games #it's the game media i can't get into: nothing to do with the content #if games have a show or novel or movie adaptation then it's another thing: i liked watching tlou for example #when i play games i play to play (mario kart or puzzle games etc) and i get lost in open world and never know what to do #(i tried some zelda games on ds as a kid. it was soooo boring to me y'all don't even know) #and plot is the least of my concern i just want to get to the actual /playing/ part of the game lol #again when i was a kid on my ds: pokémon and prof layton #it'd get to dialogues and scenes and i'd just smash the skip button #i want to fight with my funny little creatures and i want to solve riddles idc about why buddy :v #so yeah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯