#and i rly can't look at it anymore

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

mid-seasons Daryl's so smooth-headed

#just a damp fella. #I'm still struggling to put people into art styles uuuuughhh #using Daryl to practice bc I know what he looks like so well at this point #but man. I still can't figure this shit out #either it's just simplified realism or Some Random Cartoon Guy #like this doesn't quiiite look like him to me #somethin's wrong #but idk if that's because I'm not used to Shiny New Baby Daryl anymore #I'm being so nitpicky but this is what I do #anyways #the walking dead #the walking dead fanart #daryl dixon #scribbles #daryl dixon fanart #also I'm on a weird kick of using the blandest ugliest saddest colours lately #makin everything just look dirty and sickly <3 #it's on purpose but I'm not rly sure why

[archiephd]

some of y'all care way too much about your constant accessibility to entertainment goddamn

#j.txt #people in real life: oh i can't watch these guys anymore :( sad. anyway this grilled cheese is so good. i should rewatch wonka #like. i get being upset but some of y'all rly wanna fuck up their lives cause they fucked up your..... friday night #sorry but who cares 😭 #people are like read the room look at the state of the world!! and then say the most vile shit cause they can't watch a yt channel anymore #like i'm sorry but ??d??? don't you have more important things to scream online about. due to the state of the world #feeling very. out of touch out of time boomer style rn #like sorry but who cares!! coming from someone who cares a little and was kinda sad. Who Cares #ok i'm done. hopefully #was fully prepared yesterday to see the news and keep scrolling but goddamn #yeah this is about watcher entertainment lol

[cc-kote]

I've gotten some real fuckin sweet comments on my fics lately and it's rly helped get me back on track w cleaning up my rough drafts and I'm so super excited abt it. I spent all day bangin out the next chapter for The Unforgivable and holy shit man, I fucking love writing for Hux's snooty ass. He's so fuckin silly and snarky and coming up with dialogue for him has me grinning from ear to ear every time, I'm so happy to be working on this story again.

#i have a Thing™️ for prickly bastards ok a y #and I gave Ben some catty ass lines too bc their banter is just 🤌🤌🤌 and while Ben in this story is an emo little fuck #I wanna make sure his Good Boy Behavior doesn't swallow up all his own sass bc he might not be Kylo Ren anymore in my AU #but he's still got a bit of an attitude #especially with Hux pushing his buttons heehoo #god i can't wait to slap this next chapter up #im rly happy w it so far #i also looked through the rest of my rough draft through to the epilogue and i have. so much more done than i thought #i rly hope i can finish this story in the next few months bc I wanna make myself a physical book copy oooo #kylux #rambles

[viksalos]

reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does

pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess

cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,

#text #hmm. this post was funnier in my head #to be clear i am not one of those ''aut1sm is a superpower'' people and i'm aware that my ''gifts'' afford me significant privilege #but they also used to be things i liked about myself even when i was depressed #now that i'm anywhere from 3-5 yrs into burnout and can't rly *access* my gifts in the capacity i used to be able to anymore #it's rly hard to be positive about things. lol #i used to think that if people were going to think i was weird forever that i should at least be useful #which may not be possible to the degree it once was. and i realize was also a damaging and unhelpful mindset to begin with #tbh i'm rly jealous of the zoomers who seem to have more knowledge about/be more accepting of this stuff. #i think i was just in denial for years. but after looking into it more i'm more certain i'm aut1stic than i've been of anything in my life #which is significant considering the; yknow; identity issues. lol #it's kind of hilarious how many of my old text posts just scream ''undiagnosed aut1stic burnout'' in retrospect #sorry for all the behaviors and stuff. i love my mutuals but i think i have to be on this website less #while i figure my stuff out. i'll still check in but not as often #feel free to reach out in the meantime. i already miss a lot of my friends i lost contact with while going thru it <3 #wow these tags got away from me. ok bye

[princesscedar]

#legitimately wondering if i just can't draw anymore lmaooo like #i keep intending on drawing ANYTHING but i can't make myself. nothing rly interests me anymore #like not business related not personal not fandom i just feel Weird man #I'll get a crumb of motivation because i see ppl churning out art but i look at my art program and just :| #something something chalkzone 'YOU GOTTA DRAW SOMETHIN' on loop in my brain but i can't move!!! #like tbh it's part of a larger problem where nothing rly interests me anymore but is it personal or #just because the State of Everything #sentext

[quirkle2]

r u telling me i can't play zoo tycoon. the original one. legally

#qktalks #man i don't Wanna pirate zoo tycoon that's so much work (it's rly not) (i see a possible safe option on the first search) #idc how many features or mechanics the newer ones added i will Never play the new ones #they made it all 3D with cutting-edge graphics or whatever the hell and now all the charm is Gone #it looks lifeless it feels lifeless i want my original zoo tycoon back dammit #i need to make a virtual zoo right now or so help me god #i also think it's so dumb that computers don't have disc drives anymore #i bought the civilization series ages ago and excitedly unboxed them and then realized my computer didn't fucking have a disc drive #just put it in there. it can't be that hard #btw does anybody know if myabandonware.com is safe. idk #look man im relatively new to piracy as a whole idk what sites r good

[wrecking]

gonna be an insane yearner in the tags i think

#d #all i rly wanna say is just like. fuck. men are so god damn gorgeous #like i'm sorry but they get to look like THAT and i'm 'yikes' for liking them...? #like i'm ngl i was watching smth earlier and just like #god everything i hated abt masculinity on myself is so appealing on others like #i hated facial hair but now i love guys with it #earlier i was kinda just thinking abt the like texture feel of it and i was just like going insane from anguish likeeee #and their voices... their hands... every little thing is just so perfect #like just. idk i'm lovestruck with them at the moment and i wanna touch them and i want them to touch me god damn it #<- feels like the riskiest thing i've ever said on here but like you know what. i'm right #i'm finally at that point in my transition where i feel comfortable enough with myself to let someone else know me in that way #and as such i am like rapidly remembering how lonely and touch starved i am and certain guys atm are just like. a safe haven atm #i guess like a reminder that men like them do exist. there Are still people this unimaginably beautiful out there #i genuinely have to just look away sometimes bc i'm just overwhelmed by them like. ugh #in short i am a mess what else is new #sorry for mask off yearning posting on main but idgaf anymore #i am going to bed now (5am) and i'm putting down my phone so i can't be embarrassed abt this post until i get up later 🫡 #maybe if i try hard enough i can force a simulacrum of intimacy into my dreams. as a substitute for the real thing #(it probably won't work but i gotta try y'know)

[i23kazu]

im scrapping he's all that smau and making something original...

#help im sorry but i just. can't seem to love he's all that anymore #i was rly on fire for it over the past few weeks but i think the lack of traction it got + it looked boring after a while just. got dem #demotivating :(( sorry friends #please share aus you'd like to see though! it'll be an smau but idk what i shld write about #[📍regular broadcast!]

[25th]

UMM HIIIIII i'm alive

#SORRY Y'ALL for disappearing so suddenly and unannounced T_T a lot was happening in my life #things look so different here!!!!! i can't recognize a lot of u anymore :'D #but! #i recently opened after effects for a uni project after not touching it since my last edit i posted here 😭 #it made me feel so nostalgic for this place LOL i do rly want to get back into editing #but i'll be honest i have no idea how 2020-2021 me got all those ideas my mind is totally blank HA #um but yeah i might be around editing again if i ever have time :') #i was taking a lot at my drafts and i have an unfinished ping pong gfx that i left in 2021 LOL #i never posted it bc i couldn't figure out another gfx to go with it lol it's just one panel rn #but perhaps i will finish it!! #any ppta fans in 2023 tho? haha #.txt #also i've been watching tristamp recently and i'm sooooo obsessed i love the gang gang so much #okay that's enough rambling BYEEEEE a lot of y'all probably don't rly care LOL #i'll probs be around rbing things if i have time! #i'm somehow getting anxiety with the post button lol omg

[accursedrainbow]

Wisteria shows affection via biting it's a good thing the love of her life is solid metal, probably not so good for her teeth tho

#it's like cute aggression she sees him just minding his own business and is like I HAVE TO BITE HIM!!!! #obviously he's fine with this I think it looks rly funny to any outside observer too #they are snuggling being disgustingly sweet and suddenly. CHOMP #he's fine with it! it can't hurt him he likes it! #it's just like kisses but with teeth #😫 I'm gonna be sick they love each other so much #talking about my rats here now cause idk where else to do so I hate twitter there's nothing there for me anymore #wisteria #rat rambles

[piplupod]

genuinely very :( because i looked at the doesthedogdie page for the sandman and here we are yet again w the excessive gore !!!! i am so fsjdfjkl tired of it!!! i cannot watch it now bc wowzas there is. a lot of shit in there. RIP me and my sensitive little snowflake soul i guess :/

#rly frustrated w myself that i can't watch any mainstream shit these days bc everything has just disgusting amounts of gore #i can do violence and blood and even the occasional internal organ #but GOD. so much of this stuff is incredibly realistic (which is cool i guess! but why!!) and its just. Overkill honestly #im just fhsdhghsgjkl why cant i be normal and desensitized to all of it #why do i have to be such a fucking wimp about it #also i can't even do much for blood these days bc my brain will see it and start fixating on relapsing in SH lmao #genuinely feel like such a fucking wuss and like i just should not be allowed to live bc i'm such a fucking idiot abt things jdsfjkl #anyways. lowkey upset bc it looks like such a cool concept and plotline but of COURSE i cannot handle shit in it #because EVERY cool show these days has to have excessive gore and suicide/SH implications/references #fucking tired of it. make better shows honestly fjsfjkl #but then also maybe im being a prude so idk #i feel like a wuss and i also feel like maybe im right but also maybe im just being a prude and killing art by criticizing this #so. who the fuck knows. im tired and i cannot have a single thought anymore without picking it apart into little pieces #self harm mention #suicide mention #ALSO HI LOL DID YOU MISS ME VENTING ON HERE :))))) IM SO SORRY THAT IM BACK i'll try to stay quiet more though lol

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

It never gets any fucking easier does it

#bitch bout to do smth very stupid here #i've kept my distance for what already feels like forever n i really thought by now i'd be. at least on the way to functioning on my own #i can ignore it when i'm doin ok but the pull never goes away it's always there #then i get low n i just. can't think of a reason to fight it anymore #i feel like i got sold just another lie. that if i just stay strong n don't go back then i'll start learning how to live w/o him but #did anyone actually tell me that? did i just lie to myself? he makes me feel awful most of the time but if i feel awful anyway then why not #sometimes it helps for a moment or two #that's if he even wants me around anyway. could you go either way #cause i'm sick n weak n suicidal just the way he likes me but also he might be too focused on doll to feel like playin w/ me rn #i feel like everyone told me it'd get easier but maybe they didn't. or maybe i'm doin smth wrong. #honestly it might be my fault he's gettin worse again in the first place cause maybe he was right n i just need a villain in my life #someone to blame when everything's too hard #i guess i wouldn't know what to do w/ myself if he really changed like we supposedly want him to so..... #i hate how i'm realizing he was right about more n more things all the fucking time #i can't do this on my own. i need someone to go to someone i can rely on someone to hold me #others in this system got someone who actually cares about em n what do i get? fucking val #i try not to go there cause it's not healthy but lately it's been hard to convince myself this life isn't a punishment #hell was too cozy so they put me here instead. i don't deserve to be looked after. i only deserve to be used #i don't know what exactly it was i did that was so awful but. i can't make sense of it any other way #so there must be something. this is just me gettin my due. #why else would i have been made like this? wired wrong for this world in so many ways always needin too much #so stop bitching n whining about it n just take it like a good boy #i'm still a good boy if i rly put myself into it right? #spdrvent

[hattersarts]

>>> Risk ineffable husbands, 7 pages

here's a little comic, it's not completely show!gomens compliant but its headcanons i enjoy

comic notes under cut :)

I enjoy Az already realising he likes Crowley by the time Adam appears but hasn't yet worked out what to do with that information bc acts-of-service Crowley Can't Talk, Wont Talk.

Crowley on the other hand has been VERY GOOD at ignoring why he spends so much of his time around Az so only on the crux of YOU'RE GOING TO LOOSE HIM did anything manage to force its way through to his brain. (i did not enjoy crowley being told he was in love with az in s2, i think he could have worked it out himself)

i rly enjoy hcs where they started sleeping together and with humans for fun (i mean the ox ribs scene sets some v good precedent for this) az sleeps with humans bc he indulges! he likes pleasure! crowely on the other hand is very bad at catching feelings and doesnt like it when they die so has mostly only slept with az (did i mention he's VERY good at ignoring his feelings) but they probably haven't slept together for a few hundred years when adam pops up.

my compliant show!hcs are still that az knows he loves crowley (i mean the scene with jim where he leaps out of the chair to attempt to protect crowley saying no he defo doesnt know ANYONE who he feels that way with, don't look closely at anyone he is with) and is just sort of sitting on it still, waiting for any hint from crowley, planning a ball definitely only for humans and no other reason. Crowley is obviously very protective of Az but he still hasn't clicked why he's worried about him but he doesn't have the excuse of heaven or hell anymore so it wouldn't have taken much for him to work it out (hello one of his first lines in s2 is "you ever think, what's the point?" the point is love you idiot)

(book!gomens is just they're already married and have been fucking for centuries but the book just doesnt mention that.)

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #this is slightly more old man yaoi than yuri (iykyk) #posting this here first so when i re-read it in lik 3 hrs before i post to twitter i can fix all the mistakes i see #comic

[real-life-cloud]

i love palia but the way account syncing works is dogshit

#the sky speaks #like its sooooo fun im playing rn #i love helping ppl too everyone ive talked to is so nice #but oh my god so okay its kind iv my own fault right? but i get the game on my switch thinking: #oh ill try it but theres no way itll stick. new games never rly stick with me anymore i swear. ←abput to be so wrong #so bc of that when it told me in big letters IF YOU WANT A SYNCED ACCOUNT DO IT NOW OR U JUST CANT LOL! #i was like eh whatever i dont FEEEEL like it #and i play the game. i adore it. i would like a synced account please tho bc playing kn switch isnt actually a great experience #pc is so much better #looks better runs better easier to type in chat #i can actually aim with keyboard and mouse when i hunt #but i had to make a new account 💔 #which like fine. i wasnt auper far in anyways #but now! im like ah! ill just forget abt my og account. and link my new one. start fresh :) easy peasy :) #EXCEPT U CAN'T LOG OUT ON SWITCH???? #EVEN IF I DELETE SAVE DATA. OR DELETE AND REDOWNLOAD APP ALTOGETHER #OLD ACCOUNT FOREVER THERE HAUNTING ME #HELL HELL HELL #anyways if anybody on here plays drop ur username so can find u :) at least pc and switch ppl can play together.. #or if its easier to find me w my username its just reallifecloud all one word ! #anyone feel free ta add meeee :P

[tkbrokkoli]

need to vent in the tags a little :(

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #so there was a highschool reunion this week where i could've met my old class mates and teachers #originally i had planned to go and had already confirmed i would #it takes several hours to drive there. then on the day there was a big traffic jam which would've increased the travel time even more #blocked roads due to insane car and truck accidents you know the likes #anyway so i decided to not go. bc of the long drive #but now i horribly regret my decision and i feel so sad and angry. like i haven't seen these ppl for years and i was indeed #curious to see how they're all doing. however out of my 5 best highschool friends only 2 were there anyway #and im not in contact w them anymore anyway so we're basically all strangers. still i feel maybe it would've been worth it #it's not like i owe it to them to come see them after years but it is tradition still. maybe it would've been nice #i mean i know it would've been nice and i sure would've had some fun #but it seemed like a waste of time. half a day wasted to meet w ppl i don't know anymore and don't rly care abt that much #ugh but now looking back it would've been a pinprick in the fabric of my life right. what is half a day compared to the years #the years we've spent together and the years we've been apart #god i feel so bad now. but i can't turn back time and make it undone. what do i do w the guilt regret sadness anger now #let them pass? push them away? im sure there will be another highschool reunion. maybe in 5 years. maybe in 10 #by then ill also be on T and have had top surgery. it would be nice to introduce myself to them as who i actually am #still. some of the ppl might be dead by then. the teachers i mean. then again. i wasn't the only one who didn't come #i also wasn't the only one who canceled on the very day. and i know plenty of ppl who hate to go to reunions #bc they weren't friends w anyone or don't care abt the ppl or are just not interested in a social gathering like that #however i was interested and i uses to be friends w ppl. mh. i def made the wrong decision ☹️ #still. can't undo it. gotta work through it

[cheswirls]

god koko's episode is coming up... i might watch that one too if only to see akane in full color

#will /not/ be engaging w the fandom when it airs bc #don't wanna see that infamous scene taken out of context again #when i read that it was such a gut punch bc like... inui can't even be his own person huh?? #ok why it made some ppl happy n good for them but #ugh the deeper meaning behind it is rly so messed up when you think abt it #anyway....idk anymore when in the arc it happens but i might have to watch a clip when it drops #i tried looking for emma ss in the tag but bruuuuuuuuh it's the same tidalwave of x reader posts always #that's literally all the tr tag is on tumblr now n it's impossible to blacklist bc every writer tags differently #there is no universal tag unfortunately so like...ye still avoiding surfing the main tag #kinda sad none of the tr blogs i follow have posted anything since the manga ended