#and i was just like i dont but thank u tho?

[pinkandlilacroses]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 2

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {smut}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bellas’s pov

paige

- you wanna come over

what. the. fuck. yes, yes i do. but i don’t want to be ‘just another girl’ to her

fuck

bella

- why

- don’t you have other girls to fuck

i know that sounds rude, but its true. i’m not gonna get used by that tall, blonde, gorgeou-

wait, what am i saying.

paige

- i want u tho

fuck. should i go?

no i shouldn’t, yes i should, no, yes, no, yes

bella

- i’m straight

i mean, its the truth. i guess

paige

- you sure angel

no i’m not sure, also call me angel again. fuck

bella

- i’m sure

i’m not

paige

- then why don’t i believe you

cause its not true

bella

- you should

- cause its true

paige

- i don’t wanna believe it

fuck.

bella

- goodnight

“fuck” i scream into my pillow, thank god Avery is at Jakes tonight.

should i go

no

yes

ugh.

i cant stop thinking about her, for the past hour my favourite activity hasn’t been executed because of this tall, blonde, gorgeous girl.

fuck. im gonna regret this

bella

- whats your dorm number

paige

- 354

bella

- coming

i quickly put on some mascara and change into sweats and a hoodie. this is fucked

i start walking (running) to paige’s

i’m gonna regret this

“i knew you would change your mind” paige says, while opening her door. fuck she looks good, she has changed into a white t-shirt and boxer shorts. fuck

“shut up” i say, smashing my lips to hers, wrapping my arms around her neck and she grips my waist.

after a couple minutes, her tongue begins to explore my mouth and i let out a soft moan and she lets out a soft chuckle in response.

without breaking the kiss, she begins leading us to her room

i’m gonna regret this. i’ve never done anything with a girl before, i want to, but its my first time. i guess i’m nervous

paige throws me on her bed and kneels on-top of me, taking me in.

“you still straight” she says smugly. fuck i hate her

“i dont know” i say breathlessly, fuck i hate how vulnerable i’m being right now

she laughs, literally laughs in response.

“i think your straight” she says, at the same time taking off my hoodie.

fuck i didn’t wear a bra

“no bra princess” she says, smirking at me

fuck.

“its for you” i say, shocked at my own confidence, why am i so confident, i wasn’t 5 seconds ago

“good girl” she says, latching onto my left side and massaging my right nipple.

fuck. call me good girl again

i let out soft, breathy moans and she hums in response.

dont get me wrong, i love what shes doing. but i want her downstairs, you get me.

“paige” i say, almost out of breath

“yes baby” she says, still attached to my skin

“can you touch me” i say, almost begging

she moves from her old position and she is now extremely close to my face “where do you want me to touch you princess”

folded

i take her hand and move it to my core

she raises her eyebrows and begins to take off my sweats, painfully slow.

i let out an agitated grunt, and she doesn’t speed up. is she truing to kill me

after 3 hours, my sweats are off and she spots the wet patch on my panties. fuck. thats embarrassing

i cover my face in sheer embarrassment and she tears them away.

she starts to touch the wet patched formed and lets out an accomplished sigh.

“paige please, stop teasing”

she begins to take my panties off, with her teeth. fuck i’m dead.

my pussys glistening from my wetness and i want to die. why is she doing this to me

“so wet angel” she says, admiring me

i let out a moan, extremely annoyed by how long this is taking

she gats the hint and begins lowering her tongue to me.

“oh my god” i moan, shamelessly arching my back

flattening her tongue and licking up and down my folds, she hums against my core. i cant stop moaning

she moves to my entrance and begins teasing, and a string of pornographic moans come from my mouth.

she begins to pump her tongue in and out of my entrance, while looking up at me. fuck

“fuck paige, my clit please” i say, begging

“desperate slut, aren’t you?” she says, cocking her head up at me and i cant help but moan at that comment.

she attacks my clit and moves two of her fingers up to my mouth. fuck

“fuck paige, fuck fuck fuck fuck” i moan

“suck” she demands

i try my best to suck her long, skinny fingers but its probably a shitty attempt.

she moves her fingers from my mouth and moves them to my entrance. shit

“paige fuck” i scream as she enters me, mouth still on my clit. my hands are in her hair, pushing her down

she curls her fingers, hitting my g spot exactly and i cant stop moaning, borderline screaming.

“fuck paige, im close” i say, barley getting the words out

“cum for me angel” and those words send me over the edge. i feel myself tense around her fingers, and my back arching more that i thought i ever could, paige helps me ride out my climax

“fuck” she says, laying down next to me, im completely out of breath

“ok, you can go now” she says, facing me

i shouldn’t have done this.

#paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers #uconn #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball

[rogdona]

Does Eli celebrate his birthdays with rogdona? I need to know, I love these guys and your other ocs sm.

🦃 turkey

LOVE THIS ASK SM BC U GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK AB EM THANK UUUUUUUUUU

the answer yeah, kinda, in a way

bc elias lives alone in the back of the church, which is outside the city and doesnt get a lot of ppl, he doesnt rlly celebrate his birthday properly... he does however make nice food for himself, yk, as a treat

thing is he also makes nice meals for other important days for his religion, and even tho hes explained them to rogdona the guy kinda tunes him out when he starts w his religious bs JAHDJAJ and i bring this up bc rogdona doesnt know when elis birthday is so when he makes a nice meal he thinks its just another ullula related day

bc like, elias is closed off, hes that type of person who has heard all ur secrets, is the shoulder u cry on and is walking alongside u every step of the way but when ppl ask u ab him u realize u truly dont know anything ab the guy. dont know when his birthday is, dont know his favorite color, or if he prefers tea or coffee, dont know his thoughts or opinions

and since like. p much all of rogdonas interactions are w the man of the hour elias himself he doesnt have many chances to realize that maybe, just maybe, they might not be as close as he thinks they are

so yeah, they do spend birthdays together but dont rlly celebrate em

turkey 🦃

#art #my art #oc tag #ask #oc elias #oc.rogdona #I LOVE THESE GUYS THEY GIVE ME BRAINROT

[santana-fr]

Genuinely curious but how many pages of familiars do most people have in their hoard?

#fr #flightrising #flight rising #i got a mystery gift of familiars bc they said i looked like i collect them #and i was just like i dont but thank u tho? #and then i checked and i have 70 pages 😭😭

[basketobread]

it's right behind me, isn't it? 😂 (tomorrow is my birthday and idk how to feel about it)

#I MEAN I LIKE MY BIRTHDAY SO ITS EXCITING BUT ITS STILL WEIRD YKNOW? #i dont fear aging tho... i wanna be a cool elder its my lifelong dream #also hi i promise im still here and getting thru this burn out #COMICS WILL BE ON THEIR WAY SOON I PROMISE YALL I PROMISEEE #social media is not my strong suit!!! HAHAHA #but i still love and appreciate each and every one of you sm thank u all for being here <333333333 #just thought i would voice my thoughts here for a bit since i havent been too active recently HAHA #much love <3333333 #bob talks

[treasureplcnet]

Hello! I adore your Bodies fanart. I was imagining Karl in 1890 and how much havoc he would wreak. Also Henry and Karl would get along very well, I think, and Karl would be a *terrible* matchmaker for Henry and Alfred... I'd love to see your take on any of this, if anything comes to you 😍

HELLO OMG THANK YOU FOR THE EXCUSE TO JUST DROP HOT TAKES INTO THE BODIES NETFLIX TAG <3 all these drawings are very scrappy and i lost the plot and this became more like sharing all my hcs but still :')

now that you have brought it to me i really do think henry and karl would be unstoppable, i think they'd constantly have a fun, back-and-forth banter !!! i also can see karl dropping multiple not-so-subtle hints, and all of the detectives being quite supportive. gently too, considering the period-typical homophobia. i do think sometime along the lovelorn pining looks, he gets tired of seeing them orbit each other without anything happening, and this exchange occurs:

more doodles and crying under the cut :)

i will die on the "karl weissman bisexuality" hill. HE TOLD ME IN A DREAM!!!! it's just a little messier for him because he really likes women and will not figure it out ever. charlotte hillinghead TO ME also has the exact opposite problem where she is very much in love with her husband and doesn't have any incentive (or freedom considering the time period) to explore her sexuality. the way she accepted hillinghead's feelings for henry, and was less rejecting and more devastated over thinking he didn't love her or polly, just read queer to me somehow. an acceptance because she's like that too, yk? (maybe a bit of a reach but i don't get to choose who my mind designates as being bi)

i like to think that charlotte-karl experience a spider-verse mindmeld "YOU'RE LIKE ME" moment over being bisexual but they're not quite sure why they're feeling that way because they have no idea they're bi. if you are me you will understand perfectly

and i am a henry/alfred/charlotte poly truther as well (please see above discord ranting from my dms with a friend lol)

on more notes of just giving whichever character i want the bisexuality card, hasan is bi to me too. i think hillinghead and her bond a little over that shared religious guilt, of having their respective institutions be homophobic, and the feeling for so much of their life that they're different, so there must be something wrong. it helps her empathise with him and they quickly become closer because of it :) possibly also introducing him to queer lit, and maybe some non fiction lgbt history books

and one last final doodle because i think alfred as the only detective with an active love life where he's pursuing someone would make the others pretend like they can be adults but they want to know SO BAD and they also give advice once in a while because they're rooting for alfred :) they're all pretty good at hiding how badly they're invested in this (think iris 'casually' asking hillinghead how it's going and the other two perk up in the background) like i refuse to believe any of them are totally immune to the equivalent of office-gossip

this was so so long LOL i hope any of that is coherent !!!!! a lot of it ofc is my own projection bc i am bi, but it's real to me <3

#re hillinghead poly..... realistically a V poly with alfred in the middle but if i am allowed to be anymore annoying #literally everyone in the cast is bi to me. so its a triad. PLEASE DONT BURST MY BUBBLE RN LOL #esp the way ashe casually charms charlotte and makes her laugh in like ep 2... BI SWEEP!!!!! THEY ALREADY LIKE EACH OTHER #i do think ofc its easy to read ashe as being gay tho so i understand if some of this is just. not workable #but i will probably die on bi karl hill sorry everyone i know what he is #and also hasan thinks its ironic the moment she manages to get him out of the 3-piece victorian suit #alfred beelines for an outfit that makes him look like a gay history professor on a dark academia pinterest board #ANYWAYS. IF U READ ALL THAT UR A REAL TROOPER THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK #bodies netflix #my art

[arthurily]

Lol I chuckle whenever ppl unironically say that arthur didn’t care that john was mauled by wolves😭 im not sure you understand their dynamic quite well… that man sat by john’s bed and didnt even allow him to get up

#txt #not gonna do a long rant bc i dont care enough but um lets stop making things up #but yk some people are meaner to the people they love #because theyre so close theyre comfortable doing so #thats arthur #in general. in the beginning there may have been other factors that caused him to act like that to john but❤️ #he’ll bully john but he loves him. thank you for coming to this useless talk. #i just get so €;)3)dhwu9297 when ppl say arthur didnt care abt johns wounds but only abt charles’ #ik some say it as a joke but now i see it everywhere and im like u dont actually think that tho….right? #bullying is arthurs love language trust me he was classmates with me in hs #hes my cousin’s neighbour #🦌🐺

[stealingpotatoes]

Honestly Mace would have loved Luke and Leia with his whole heart.

yes!!! honestly he's like a grandparent (in the dynamic way, not age way) bc he was harsh on anakin but you KNOW he's much more caring for the twins, like how a grandparent is strict on their kid but gives their grandkid literally whatever. and anakin's like where was this for me

#i've never drawn anything for it but i think about AUs where anakin's caught or killed n rots is stopped a lot #and then the jedi take the twins and are Too Careful and the twins just Know theres smthn off abt them but dont know what it is #and all the difficulty padme faces bc the jedi fucked anakin up!! she doesnt want them having her kids!!!! the last she has left of Him!! #but whats she supposed to do about her illegal-kids-of-an-evil-jedi against an ancient order backed by the senate and law #and you have obi wan torn between wanting whats best for the galaxy (the twins are carefully trained) #vs wanting whats best for his friend and tbh his brotherwhatever's memory (padme keeps the twins) #very aggressive jedi vs human conflict for him #theres just SO MUCH in those kinda AUs #bit hard to draw to explain tho. like u gotta draw so much for context so ive never rlly tried #but i think abt mace and his relationship w the twins there sm bc you KNOW he wants to treat them coldly and w constant suspicion #but he Just Can't #cause ya know. their dad. went evil. and theyre also INSANELY POWERFUL force users #thanks for the ask! #wow ok went off in the tags abt an au nobody asked for <3 #gotta get it out my head somehow ig

[ginbutnottonic]

Do you guys think Ratio looks up the newest memes every week so he can understand what his students laugh at

Ratio: don't disturb the class

Student: -mews- (idk whats popular nowadays I dont use tiktok)

Ratio: you're staying after class, mid mew, -10 points

Do ignore my rant if Im cringe lmao I am not

Hip enough

#text post #honkai star rail #dr ratio #can u tell I dont use social media much #thank you internet news channels what would I do without you #but he would tho just so he could know what the fuck the kids are on about #plus hes pretty young I believe so he wouldnt wanna be behind the trends #judging from the ipc social media thingy that hoyo posted I feel like hes pretty hip

[vypridae]

xan do you know that nurse sharks cuddle eachother sometimes and get into little shark cuddle piles of like 40ish other sharks typically 🎉🎉did i tell you this before i don’t remmeber

aaand how’s finding a label🎉🎉 [wishing you luck on finding a good fitting one <33 but also aspec is a catch all term if you’re still unsure]

OH MY GOD??? I LOVE SHARKS ABABABABABBA ?????? im using this for important comic things methinks . 40 sharks in a cuddle pile is actually the BEST THING (i dont remember if youve told me this but im obsessed)

label finding is Not Really Working 😭😭 i found like three that might fit (arospec as more vague, cupio or nebula as more specific) BUT FFS I CANT TELL EHICH ONE FITS 😭😭😭 (in part cuz i lowkey dont think ive had a genuine romantic crush on someone) (at least recently) (UUUGUGGUUGUHH)

#label finding is making me LOSE MY MIND #i might just go with arospec and call it there for now but FUCK man #the thing is i feel like im faking if i dont have specific label #how would i fake aromanticism? I DONT KNOW BUT YK . OVERTHINKER PROBLEMS #xanbox #thank u tho soda 🫶🫶 ill find a label soon enough im sure

[hospitalyuris]

Everytime someone says I'm wasting what god gave me I grin and say good

#tbis applies to anyone visibly gender queer ur rhe ideal and i love you dearly #whatever u look like whether ur pre or post whatever #tbank you for making me feel safer with ur continued existence and thank u for reminding me life is full of good tjigs #ill probably delete this later but i was just feeling some kinda way abt my body #I've gone thru a lot of stuff accepting it and learning to like it and realize its just here to carry me around and i shouldn't resent it #when its doing tbe best job it can #its not its fault what i was got lost in translation its just meat #i dont plan on transistioning anytjme soon cuz A) im very young and B) that shit expensive even tho ive known im a guy p much my whole life #n i also dont plan on legally changing my name in the foreseeable future cuz A) i actually dont mind my legal name i think its cool #B) also expensive and they dont even get it right half of the time on future legal documents anyways #what a scam #i should just be able to walk up and state that im a guy and not have to bend over backwards to prove it for other ppls comfort #lazy trans ppl rise. divine act of creation but boy am I tired and its always Sunday #just in general most of it boils down to tje cis ppl in charge are dicks #trans #mspaint #whatever #nudity #transgender #also i have a mini vash the stampede that runs around my phone screen and he keeps gettong under my fingers while typing this

[milkbreadtoast]

thinking abt how the original QPB trio wouldve been just 3 mentally unwell adults w lifetimes of trauma and KdjfksjdKFJJS...

#no wonder they were beefing /j #they need yeseo... AHAH #idk like #i still dont know ga-in's full deal but from what ive seen... #def parental (and workplace) abuse going on... #cedric... self explanatory #and jesse like... being an illegitimate child ooh and his stepfather dedicating every min to trying to ruin his life umm #yeah... #not that i dont think yeseos also had a perfect life... im keeping my eyes open at the bits of foreshadowing for him i wanna know his deal #cant stop thinking abt how he almost never mentions his parents? whats up w that #twsb #twsb spoilers #(just for the ga-in bit)m #i wanna know more abt jesse tho... #sigh will never stop losing my mind that cedric went from beefing w jesse as a love rival #to falling in love with him (but its actually a diff guy. our yeseo...🤧 #im crazy for this but cant stop thinking abt QPB cedjess..... #esp since apparently they couldve gotten along if it werent for the circumstances... ough #idc abt romantic cedchris at all tho like thank u for resetting the timeline <3 #i wanna know what... that last moment was like... #when jesse sacrificed himself to save cedric.... #jesse telling him to be happy with christelle/take care of her... #what was cedric's reaction... what was the look on both of their faces in that moment... #ghhHHH i would want to see og cedjesschris but not as a love triangle w chris at the center like it was before... #i'd just wanna see platonic shenanigans #but the og novel wasnt like that... 😔 #actually it makes me wild considering that the original QPB trio didnt have/use powers #like thats wild to me. they were so different..... #the genre switch was so good for them <3 #went from shoujo to shounen /j

[narwhalandchill]

OH????? actual massive W what the hell

#thank fucking god 😭😭😭 #xueyis voicelines rn are so weird its like 2 completely different voiceovers clashing #its like one sounds fine one is just straight up not the same character #theyre fixing the biggest grievance i had w playing her im so happy man. like eng is v good overall #so i dont wanna be swapping constantly just for her to sound normal 💀💀💀 #waiting until 2.1 is p sad tho but i hope it means theyll have time to polish the delivery proper #but this is sooooo good #bc her VA Is very good!!! but somehow the direction fumbled this completely #havent kept up w sampos but like fyi if u found the leaks sub post about his fixed voicelines. the leaker labeled them wrong. #the ones called old are the new improved ones. idk how you fuck it up like that but ppl freaked out #bc the 'new' ones in the vid are actually the currently in game ones theyre removing💀💀 so obviously theyre the worse ones #rambles #hsr

[jrueships]

I'm shy but you're one of my favorite people that I follow on this app. You're so funny and I wish I could be half as clever as you. You've introduced me to a lot of interesting people and ideas! Just wanted to pass on some appreciation on this Saturday night. Hope you're having a good time 🥰

THIS IS SO SWEET, HELLO????

#TH ANKY YOU ??????? OMG 😭😭😭 SHUT UPPP!!!!!!!! #srry the reply was a little late 😭 i literally dont know how to respond appropriately to compliments #IT'S JUST SO NEW TO ME 😭😭 LIKE OMG... URE SRS??? #im gonna weep #u are so sweet anon ARGHHHH i put you in my mouth and carry you to safety like a mama gator #'clever' DHUT UPPPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #being called smart is like being called pretty to me like omg stopp haha What Exactly Do You Think Is Smart About Me 😼 #I LOVE BEING CALLED SMART HEEHEE THANK UUU OMG #being called the stupid friend in all my friend groups has made me a little starved of smartness im afraid #IM SO HAPPY IVE BEEN A WORTHWHILE GATEWAY TO NEW PPL AND IDEAS!!!! #it's such a delightful and sometimes surprising quality abt sharing media!!! #THATS SO COOL TO ME #i hope u continue to find appreciation not just in my blog but wherever u go in life <33 #AND U BETTER BE APPRECIATED WHEREVER U GO TOO!!!!!!! #or ELSE !! #i #ted #will Be there 😾... #SRS THO THANK U THIS WAS VERY SWEET OF U 😭😭 #ted tumbunity things

[starlooove]

I rlly liked red hood the hill bc besides the gift it completely ignored everything else with the batfam which to meeee I’m taking it as the hill has been overlooked by the bats forever (see Orpheus rising) so yeah nobody there gives a fuck about those people and jason knows better than to bring that shit over there

#genuinely tho #I dislike the trend rn of simplifying Jason and Bruce’s issues and making it seem like Bruce was nice and accepting all along and Jason just #needs to get with the program #like the fanficication of that and the Damian Bruce issues or Damian tim issues or even Dick and bruce issues #where everything comes down to the kids being insecure and Bruce being bad at communicating #which has always been PART of the main issues but using that as the crux and lens through which a solution will be acheived is a stretch #a stretch only made in fix it fics that is picked up by ppl who dont read shit and then writers who dont read dont care and get a check #THIS IS MY ISSUE WITH WHERE IT SEEMS BATFAM IS GOING THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE I HAVE WITH RE #NOT ABOUT RED HOOD THE HILL #back to red hood the hill #i DO like them #playing off how jason has always been able to relax there #with a community that has eachothers back #and the flip from #his early red hood days to seeing dana go that path is soooo #what i find interesting tho as that he positions himself as support and backup more than a deterrant #like yes he does try to talk her down a lot but most of the time hes living his life with a worried eye on her #and i think it shows to how he reacted to ppl (bruce) being heavy handed with him #and u know i love the batfam repeating awful cycles shit i think its very interesting that this is one jason didnt repeat #maybe bc hes so close to the feeling or that dana isnt to him what he was to bruce or even that hes just relaxing and thinking clearly and #above all trusts her #most toxic fun future would be for her to break that trust and him to go crazy but thats a diff rant #anyways my entire summary for jasons character is that THAT is what good coochie does to a nigga #carmen thank you for your service another crazy off the street 🙏🏾 #red hood and the hill #oh. still no Orpheus mention #no it doesn’t hurt less anytime 💔 #Jason Todd

[mildmayfoxe]

hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro

#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT #account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze #from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU! #a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK! #i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT! #i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks. #i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND #now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits #so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it. #i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it #by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine #and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol. #anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but.. #they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!! #i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer #and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me' #anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good #genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah #just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow #ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me

[boxwinebaddie]

wait omg.. ur fr not updating ur fanfics ever again?!? HEARTBREAKING... BUTT... does that possibly mean u can spoil everything (slowly ofc)

EXTREMELY LONG BUT IMPORTANT UPDATE:

so...i'm not going to say ~never~, my friend. i promised myself during my uncle nina self care era, that i would *justin bieber vc* never say never, because setting strict, set-in-stone regulations and rules for myself is why i am not writing anymore...which, yes, as much as i enjoy my fanfics/updating them, for the sake of both my physical and mental health, i think it is in my best interest to not update my fanfictions right now. i'll explain as much as i can down below.

so...this is going to be a very, very long post. i know that i had an anon on here that told me that they look forward to when i post long, indepth things, however, i am going to say that this isn't like a fun hc post or anything, this is just a lot of information...about my blog and my fanfictions, how i have been feeling and what i'm thinking about doing moving forward from this point. a lot of it is stuff that i've written about a lot ( stress, writing, etc. ) but i think it's important to read, mayhaps? just to keep you in the loop/informed on stuff.

long story short tho: i am not updating my fanfics rn, that's not to say i will not be writing/doing ncu stuff and it does...thank god...mean that i can now slowly spoil things...In A Controlled Manner.

to jog your re(memory), lmao, i was very unwell writing peppermint.

we know this...we don't love this.

what i did love was writing peppermint when i was but doing all that formatting, writing more in one update than some people write in entire fanfictions, forcing myself to be consistent...it was...at times very frightening how unwell i was. especially mentally. i just...i was not well equipped for the stress that came with having a moderately successful fanfic. being perceived at that level, with how severe my social anxiety is...it was not good for me. like it was fun because it was cool to see people so invested/get so much high praise for the things that i was writing but...idk. i am very introverted. ravenstan is me because i try to be really cool but i am a fake and a fraud lmaooo.

but yeah, too much upkeep and while 99.9% of the negativity around pep and myself was self inflicted...i will say...especially after 10, i did get some very...Intense...reactions to my fanfiction. like, very, very intense in a way that i was very offput by it and also worried about how the things i was writing were affecting your real lives. which, on top of how i was doing ( not well ) was not something i wanted to have constantly on my shoulders. please friends, remember, you are not responsible for how other people perceive your work, so long as you tag it accordingly, are authentic to yourself, and respectful to others. or so i believe, at least. idk. this is so long, i'm sorry.

speaking of peppermint tho...i am going to be so honest. i...do not think i'm gonna update it or keep writing it. i know that kind of sucks but the Peppermint Period of my life, i hope, will be over soon, lol. which i LOVE pep, but there is a lot of dark, negative energy associated with it, i tried to write it a million times and can't -- which, fun fact, the last stretch of peppermint is the stan self healing/self care arc ( which i love, i love u so bad pep!stan, my baby, my angel ) and the reason i could not write it...is because i was never in a positive enough headspace to write it.

like...i was not healed enough to write the healing arc. thats...oof.

i also just...don't feel super good about writing stuff about the boys in hs as an adult lady, like? they are 18 and all, but idk, it does not make me feel good things, its just not that relevant to me and the only reason that they were in hs in pep is because all of the relevant tiktok lore surrounding style was senior year hs stuff. but i really just prefer writing the boys in rm/in college/doing adult boy stuff. thats a lot more in my wheelhouse and i feel way better doing that tbh.

a final pep thing that ties into the last part of this ask is YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT ABOUT PEPPERMINT. i will spoil everything, like i'd prefer to do it in parts so if you want chapter 12 first i can tell you all about that. i don't have a ton of stuff written out in action...but i have...a fuck ton of dialogue. like nearly all of the dialogue for peppermint is written. ( if you want i can even take the dialogue and write it in sort of stage direction type formats with the actions to make it flow a little better -- i just can't write Chapters )

so yeah, ask me anything at all that you like about peppermint, but i can't spoil the entire fic in one ask...slow pace, please, haha.

okay, rm i do actually care a lot about. i also don't know if i in good concious can write chapter updates for it, but i can give you very detailed asks about it and give you what information i do have about it...also in small pieces. like someone asked me what happened to the ex-cd guitarist...and i can give you that information very soon.

i know it is kind of a bummer to not be able to get updates, but like, when i tell you i was seriously unwell...like it was really bad my real life was getting fucked up because of my online life which is whack.

but yeah! you can also ask me rm stuff! i kind of want to do it as sequencially as i can just so it flows a lot better like, idk, maybe start w/ ravesey hate stuff and move chapter to chapter, answering hc things in between? that feels right to me? but yeah!!! you can ask me what goes in the next chapter? if you want? or the next two/whatever is left of the hate...i don't have a ton of dialogue but i do have p much the whole situation blocked out? ish? lmao rip.

also!!! if i give you any scenario and you would like me to write in more detail or if you'd really like to see it in writing, you can totally leave me a request and if i feel up to it at some point, i will write it up. i also may just feel funky fresh and want to write it one day and randomly post it. lmao just be ready for anything tbh.

BUT YEAH!!! no i will totally give you rm spoilers and stuff!!! but again, i'm gonna try and not give you too much at once...v slow. in that way, ik its not the same as getting my full-fledged chapter updates, but it could hopefully still be exciting because you'd be waiting to get my content and it would come out quicker? which is still neat i think? my way to keep updating you without disappearing or like straining the shit out of my heart and brain.

okay, also, on ao3, as far as Big Writing goes...i'm not sure if i'm gonna post anything actually updatey on there again. it was just too stressful for me yall. i dont even want to make a seperate chapter post of explaination because i really don't want my fic to sit at the top of the tag for days and garner attention or like...wake to people waiting for pep or rm who think they're getting a new chapter, just to get told that i don't really feel safe updating them anymore. way too much attention which is what...drove me to this point tbh.

again, i like tumblr. i like the intimacy. i like that you guys can anonymously send me stuff and for the most part, i like that i can be sort of anonymous on here too...whilist you know, still being able to share stuff on here with you about my life. which...that's also a thing i was gonna mention at the end is, because i'm in education and kids are super nosy, if something happens, i will have to self destruct this blog and i'm sorry.

i am being so serious like if a kid finds my fanfiction tumblr, not only will it be embarrassing/unprofessional, like i am very worried that i could lose my job, slash not do the thing that i love the most in the world next to writing. :( i really do not want the thing i do in my free time to effect my outside life, which, again, is largely why i am doing this to protect myself lmao. like i am seriously considering like deleting anything that has to do with myself at all because of that. i tag my posts as accurately as i can to keep myself and all of you safe. please, please be mindful. please make good choices.

in vein of staying anonymousish ( tbh this is so much information that i ALMOST was going to post this as a voice message but i was not sure putting my human girl voice associated w/ this blog tbh ) i lowkey might nuke the twitter...i don't like it on there, lol. the cancel culture is frightening ( which is not to say don't cancel me if i'm being weird like please do that lol ) the people on there are really intense, i don't like the in fighting...i am on my tumblr because i feel safe here and i like all of you and i like answering your questions.

tbh, rp if you're reading this, the only reason i actually have the twitter is bc riley and i chat on there which, tbh, i might just bully her to use the dms on here or like licherally give you my personal phone number, lol. like we are internet married and talk constantly and i want to delete my twitter so bad it's not funny ESPECIALLY THE VIEW COUNTER LIKE THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKED UP I HATE IT.

kind of why i don't like ao3 either bc the hit count thing...really fucks w/ my mental health. the stress of being boxwinebaddie on there is also a lot so...okay...last segway...i do lowkey want to Actually write tkak...WHICH I KNOW NO ONE BUT ME CARES ABOUT BUT LOL THIS IS MY BLOG I DO WHAT I WANT BROTHER!!! its just funny bc this always happens where i can't write a fanfic i'm writing and then get excited abt some weird concept i have and start writing it and then stop again. so if i am writing tkak, please know it might not finish and i might just talk about it in ask memes.

orrrr write it in my google docs and link you or post screenshots. tbh i am very glad to be away from the ao3 layout like its so fucking ugly. the google docs are so much easier to read in my opinion.

for writing/future fanfics tho...as weird as it is, i don't think i'm gonna attach my name/user to my future fanfics. like you guys can know about them on here as long as we are chill about it. i just get too much anxiety about my association with my account and it getting too hectic again. so if i post tkak, i will probably do it on a different ao3 account ( you guys will know ofc ) and if i post one shot type stuff...i might do it also on a burner account or anonymously.

i actually ALMOST posted remember anonymously because of how stressed i was about it being negatively perceived/it being weird or people being mad at me for not updating pep. like i am very stoked you guys liked it but i seriously almost did not attach it to my name.

so if you see stuff that looks like its me floating around the style tag or in the other south park tags...its probably me. idk drop me a weird code word thats not too obvious and i'll send you one back, haha. i'm sorry i know this is complicated i just...i need to distance myself from this like, when i tell you i needed therapy for this...a mess.

but yeah! i hope that all makes sense! by all means ask me about pep ( literally anything abt pep but try to start small and build up ) and rm within reason and i will get back to you! it is extremely freeing for me to be able to talk about stuff because it sucked so bad to sit on all this info and just not be able to talk about it? like AAAA??? like thats why i was forcing myself to post stuff bc i wanted to tell yall stuff. and i would rather post you well thought out ask memes and dialogue that i feel happy abt then rush out terrible updates and grow to resent my fanfics like...no thank you.

i honestly feel like i have really fun ideas and am ( pretty ) good at coming up with complex lore/interesting hcs and shit, but i'm just not good at waiting, not good at keeping secrets and not good at being consistent...this is what i feel happiest doing, ig. hopefully this is rockin and rollin with you. i'm sorry this was a lot.

closing note is...i love you all very much. thank you so much to all of your for supporting as my identity as a writer has adapted, supporting my multiple works/promoting my personal health, advocating for me, being kind...i could not ask for better readers. again, i realize this is not the most fun information, but i have to take care of myself and this is the only way i know how. while also doing the thing i love, which is talking about my fanfics/writing/sharing my stories with all of you.

you are welcome to click off if you want, but if you are willing to ride the ride my friends, i promise to keep it cute on here. <3

thank you for everything, my darlings, and from whatever hurts or harms you, past, present and future

i hope you heal :),

uncle nina

p.s. if possible, if we could not distribute this post or rb it or anything like that i'd appreciate it. you can message me or write to me in the comments but i would like to maintain the liberty of deleting this post or editing it as i need to in case something happens. tysm.

#ncu update #nina speaks #idk that the tag is i actually think i might make an elaborate tag system so u guys/other people can read my blog #and find specific info abt parts of my fics or chars and stuff #but yeeeeeah i don't want to write right now i do not feel good i do not fuck w the energy i felt after i wrote pep for a while #like i already get sometimes overwhelmed on this blog i dont want to go back on ao3 which is already slow and seriously stressful #you can ask for spoilers tho! please do it in small sections! i am just one person and my fics are very lore intensive #i spend a lot of time on my asks i cannot do too much at once unfortunately #if i post stuff on ao3 again i would rather it not be attached to me ik thats kind of lame but it was mega stressful yall #it also makes it so if people enjoy my work it has nothing to do w bwb and this blog and i can start fresh #if u drop me a code tho i will get back to u haha just if u think its me out there please do not start shouting my name looool #hope this makes sense and hope you heal #sorry this was so much i needed to get this off my chest #you can also ask me questions abt this post it was really ocnfusing i tried to say as much as i can #but i am very tired...which is also why i cant really update bc i am working often and very very tired lmao #just be paitent w me if you can and you always are so i'm not worried ily so much thank u thank u thank u #none of this is spelled right ill fix it later...v tired rip