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dzpenumbra · 2 years

Text

10/11/22

Since it's already late... I have to set my alarm, one sec. Alright. I might as well just put today in direct bulletpoints without too much commentary.

I got a text from my landlord at 10:30 AM. About an hour after I finally fell asleep. Yep. When I'm feeling unsafe and like there's something weird brewing, I don't sleep. And full moons amplify it. I'm pretty much at a perfect storm here. So... I'm surprisingly doing well with it. I'm impressed with myself.

I woke up late. I slept well, which is good, a full 7 hours until like... 4 PM. Waking up at 4PM on a Monday is deeply depressing. I called my mom before I got out of bed. I wanted to connect with my brother and see if he wanted to do art while my landlords were inspecting the house. Then I could have music playing, it would create a privacy barrier for all of us. I could get some work done and have some good company.

I want to really lean into this statement. I had such a bad feeling about the outcome of proposing this completely normal, kinda fun sounding idea that I called my mom. I don't remember if I took a shower, I think I did actually. I think I did get out of bed and showered and called right after or something. I remember eating an apple, and yeah, my fingernails tasted like the essential oils I wear after showering when I was compulsively stress-biting them earlier.

I had this bad feeling lingering from yesterday, when i tried to get him to help me sort the place and clean a bit. My mom came over and helped, it was nice, it could've been a nice three person hangout kinda thing. But no. He told me Sunday was when he usually cleans his house, actually, so I guess his whole day was booked. I'm just... not gonna linger on that. I can see very clearly now what I saw at first glance. That's just inconsiderate. And negative. "I'm not going to do your chores, you lazy shit, I have my own chores." That kinda Scrooge mentality. I could feel it. I've felt it a LOT lately, from pretty much everyone in my life. I need help, I need to get away from these people. I'm starting to forget that people like me are still out there.

So much for limiting wandering thoughts... ugh... welcome to my brain.

I asked my mom if she could... let's call it "translate" for me. See, I've had it told pretty clearly to me recently, in therapeutic environments and in personal relationships, that I'm a very sensitive person. I talked about that at length last night. I have been told that when my emotions show up, especially difficult ones like fear, grief, panic, anger, those kinds of ones. Sith feelings. When those appear, people seem to just... not hear the words I'm saying. Like, I swear, to me it's like a movie - like the Truman Show or Twilight Zone or something, it's really surreal. It's like I could literally say "I love you" while I'm experiencing anger or fear and they just don't hear the words or sentiment under the emotion at all. They're just staring at that emotion like an infant locked in on dangling keys, or a cat staring down one of it's favorite toys. Maybe it's a primal thing, a survival thing? You see something deeply afraid or angry or in pain and you just... not even necessarily see it as prey, which I thought for some for a bit, but like... see it as a potential threat. What is more dangerous than something that fears for it's life? What's more dangerous than a hurt animal? What's more dangerous than a blindly enraged animal? And please, please, please remember - this is your daily reminder, fellow human - we are all animals.

I asked my Mom a question today during our 2 hour talk - "does my fear look really intense to you right now, like if you were in my shoes right now and feeling where I am, where would you put it out of 10?" She told me probably 8 or 9. I weighed in that I'm really around a 4 to 5, then the more I thought about it, corrected down to 3 to 4. I think that made things a little more clear. It's really hard to get across to people, but like... yes, I am feeling the same fear or pain or betrayal or anger as you. No, I'm not numb to it, clearly. I think it's very clearly obvious when I'm in a mood and that I'm experiencing it as fully as I am capable of at that moment. But my threshold is greater. Like... I tried to describe this in a journal a while ago... I have a much bigger gas tank on this. So I feel things at an amplified rate. And what I can feel is very strong, but I don't top out at 10 like they do, I go to like 30. So to them, my reactions tend to look like overreactions. Because why would I be at their 8 over someone blowing me off? Well... because their 8 isn't my 8, it's my 3. I hope I can find a simpler way to communicate that in the future, I think it's going to be a very important thing to build as a mutual understanding with whoever ends up being my partner.

So people tend to see these huge emotions and then just start shooting, or get skeptical, or suspicious, or freeze, or straight up run. You know, they panic. And my training to be able to communicate my complex feelings through my expressed emotions is for nothing. It's really goddamn hard to keep priorities through intense emotions, to keep universal good in mind, to keep control on being respectful when you're being disrespected, all that shit. You know, honorable shit, virtuous shit. We all know how hard it is to keep yourself the "better person" in an argument, especially when you're falsely accused or something.

So what I did today was I requested that my Mom advocate for me in my place. That she reach out and explain the situation to him, clearly and from a third party perspective. To explain how it's not about doing chores, its about being supportive of a family member who is going through what is essentially one of his biggest trauma triggers for the past 2-3 years, and not even having to talk him through it, just being in the room and sharing that space with him so he's not alone in that feeling. That's all. And that, if asked, he would gladly repay the favor.

My brother responded, in the message relayed back from my mom less than 3 minutes later, by accusing both of us of trying to control him and pressure him. My heart is just sinking writing this. Like... my thoughts are just draining out of my head like rain running down a window, and a fog of sadness is just rolling in. It's a quiet sadness. Like a cold Maine morning by the ocean at the crack of dawn, with the heavy, wet fog rolling in.

I think something happened. I'm guessing it's one of his old friends. My instincts keep saying this same name over and over, one of his friends that I never met, but gave my really cool Norse hammer drum key to - for some fucking reason, I really liked that thing and it was a gift to me. I think this guy fucked with him in the past, something about weed. I think my brother projected that same feeling of betrayal from that friend onto me in the past, and I think it broke our relationship. And I'm fearing it has returned.

Oh boy, this voice hasn't had a time to talk in a while. I can tell by the poetic imagery, this part of my psyche is one that got severely traumatized right after my breakup, not long after he was... reborn, I guess. This personality was shaped at this branch in the tree of my life, coming out of the loss of a relationship and several close deaths all in close proximity. Anyway...

I reassured my mom that it was okay, and that what she did was noble and... was my fault. That she felt what I feel most days. And that I am deeply sorry she carried that, and that I put her in that position. It hurt her. She felt a lot of bad things because of my request. I feel very guilty. But I need to start with this by forgiving myself. I didn't ask her to help expecting him to be like that at all. I feared, yes, but for myself. I never imagined he would project onto the messenger for the person he's projecting onto. I figured the messenger would be enough of a layer of separation for him to hear the words without immediately sniffing out my fear and feeling of betrayal through the microphone and prepping the mounted 50cal machineguns for "anticipatory defense". I forgive myself for this. My intentions were peace.

At this point... It's almost 9PM. I ironed out plans with my mom. She is going to come over and chill, I guess we're going to go through the floorplan of the apartment and figure out layout and storage and stuff. That actually should be really fun. Man, I should just make a 3D model of it in Blender or something, just fuck around with it that way. That'd be really cool. Technology these days, so sick!

Then I texted my landlord. Almost 12 hours after she asked me to set up a time. I apologized - I swear, I apologize almost every interaction I have nowadays... - and set a meetup at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. They should only be around for a little bit, they said they have a Zoom at 5 or something. My mom is going to come over at 4. I have an alarm set for 2. It's 6:45 now. So... it takes usually around half an hour to an hour for me to fall asleep after this, so... like 6.5 to 7 hours sleep? Not horrible.

I wrote a letter to my brother. I wrote like 4, honestly. But the last one was... a better approach than the others. I mean that. I wrote a lot of "you can NOT blah blah". Just... accusatory and corrective. Pointing out exactly what he's doing wrong and just pleading he stop doing it. I got rid of all of it. Little by little. I don't disagree with my way of addressing it, and in person or over the phone, I would absolutely say those statements. But after typing through it, I listened to it back on text to speech... then cut out parts I didn't like or I felt were... unnecessarily emotionally pushy, I guess. I know he's sensitive to emotions and doesn't really know how to process them a lot of the time. By the end... naw, I'm gonna backtrack again. I got what I thought was a good draft. I looked up quotes on forgiveness and humility to pass along. I have a strong connection in my creative centers between humility and forgiveness, but I guess I never really sat down and tried to flesh it out very well, to articulate it. Like... forgiveness requires humility, but it also only works if the person being forgiven is humble too, you know? So humility is super important there, crucial, really. And I really was trying to communicate at the end of this that I was okay with forgiving this outburst thing, there's still time to work that out, but he really needs to apologize to my Mom.

While looking for quotes, I found a list of Bible quotes. I read through all of them. I love trying to decode the imagery of the quotes. I did this project a few years ago where I tried to translate Genesis into common speech, like... everyday talk. Like how I talk, into my language. I started looking at sentences, language structure, etc... in the way that I think... as images. Like apple conjures an image in your head. Instead of doing an example here, basically the analogy I was using at the time, what I was trying to recreate, was someone standing by a campfire, gesturing wildly, visually and telling a story using as few words as possible. OMG, like C3PO in Return of the Jedi telling Luke's story to the Ewoks. Nootch Vader. That scene. I started thinking of language like THAT. Like I was trying to tell this story to people who barely understood English. And when I read Bible quotes with that in mind, trying to really suss out the concept behind all these words and stitch together a little mental animation, things started making more sense to me.

A lot of the quotes were about forgiving your kin over and over and over. No matter what. Which is just... damn is it the hardest thing to figure out, honestly. Because at some points, it's abusive... and at some points it can become like a Stockholm Syndrome thing... and yeah, it's like... I don't know, I guess forgiving doesn't mean like... pretend it didn't happen. So yeah, maybe I just need to explore forgiveness more. But reading the humility and forgiveness stuff helped a lot, and it just reminded me that it's not really my job to tell him he fucked up. Or set the terms for him to repent to me or some shit. It's my job to tell my side of the story. Which I detailed clearly. And I got rid of most of the rest. Except for the part where I told him he should apologize for being harsh to my mom. I actually, very transparently self aware, leaned into that. I expressed that I knew it was harsh to say he needs to say he's sorry, but that she has been going through enough and didn't deserve it. He doesn't have to apologize to me for this, but he really should apologize to her. I risked confirming his fear of control by saying that, but if he's looking for excuses to deep six his relationship with his brother... he'll find one eventually. I can't let that blood be on my hands. She stood up for me, the least I can do is stand up for her.

So... I'm upset. I'm... kinda grieving again. It hit me hard. But I ordered some fabric pens, so I'm gonna just try to put some custom designs on one of my hoodies and see how it comes out. Inspiration comes from destruction. It's not the only place it comes from, but god am I glad it comes from destruction. Because if it didn't, destruction would be unbearable.

#diary #journal #stream of thoughts #spilled thoughts #online journal #stream of consciousness

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

#troquantary #norwegian things #bella swan #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #evighetens kyss #evighetens kyss meta #evighetens kyss renessanse

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sunsiac · 5 years

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king and queen / jaehyun [3]

genre: murder mystery, romance, angst

member: jaehyun

word count: 1.4k

warnings: none

summary: a young prince and a knight’s daughter are an unlikely pair, but nonetheless, these two were attached at the hip as children. without any royal duty or stress, it proved to be an unexpected yet beautiful friendship.even as they grew up together, they only developed to be more inseparable. they proved this when she, hakyeong turned 16, and he, jaehyun, gave her one of the most precious gifts he could; both of their first kisses. but it was bad timing. their respective responsibilities dawned on them quicker than they would’ve imagined, forcing them to grow apart. 5 years later, the both of them 21, meet again after jaehyun’s older brother who is about to be crowned king is found dead. A string of murders throughout the castle force them to come together and find the one behind it before one of them is next.

—

HAKYEONG :

I left the supervisor's office in a hurry, eager to get through the darkening halls as quickly as possible. Oddly enough, the halls at night had never bothered me before, even when I had first come here. If anything, I liked how quiet they were compared to the bustling of the day. But now I just wanted to get through them as fast as possible.

Because, I liked the idea of a killer being out there even less.

The sun had past set, the dim lanterns scattered throughout the halls bleeding into the darkness of the night and making odd shapes that lined the walls. But, all of this was relinquished when the dining hall came into view, light and various different sounds spilling out into the otherwise quiet hall.

When I walked in, it was a little overwhelming. Even though I'd been eating there every day for years, I couldn't say I had gotten completely used to the deafening noise yet. Everyone that worked in the castle that was below a royal status ate here, and that added up to a lot of people.

As I stared, a single hand came up over the crowd and lead me over to my normal seat. My roommate, Eunhye, was sitting there, her curly blonde hair pulled back as she spooned soup into her mouth. Eunhye was arguably the person I was closest to, being my roommate and best friend for all the years after Jaehyun and I had cut off contact.

She knew almost everything about me, from my relations to the royal family down to something as simple as my favourite colour. It felt good to have that mutual connection with someone, a shared friendship that had lasted through the years. And, understandably, I was pretty determined to keep it.

I slipped into the seat next to her, greeting her with a nod as she passed me a bowl.

"Hey. Where were you?" She asked, looking at me expectantly as she bit into a roll.

"Oh, I just was pulled to the supervisor's office," I said casually, not finding any reason to go into more depth.

"What," She nudged me with a smile, "Are you actually in trouble for once?"

I just laughed, taking my share of food. "Never. It was just some questions about Hyeonsik,"

"Ah," she nodded, getting quiet and obviously at a loss of how to respond. I wasn't expecting her to be like this, but I didn't blame her. It seemed like no one knew what to say to me after his death, and I guess it wasn't that limited at her.

"Were you pulled at all yet?" I asked, making her look over.

"No," she shook her head. "But I don't think I will be, since I was with the visiting duchess almost that entire night,"

I just let out a sigh and rested my chin on my hands. "Lucky. For some reason, I feel like the supervisor's suspicious of me,"

She laughed."What? You? Everyone knows you and Hyeonsik were super close. He'd have to be insane to suspect you,"

"I know. That's why I'm worried,"

She just gave me a small smile over her bowl. "If it helps at all, I know it wasn't you,"

I just sighed.

"I just hope they know that too."

—

JAEHYUN :

It's always soup.

Don't get me wrong, it was usually better. Way better, in fact. But, I guess with everything that's been going on, they aren't too concerned about the food.

I swirled the broth lazily around the bodies of the dish, not really in the mood to eat soup again. I was never an extravagant eater, not adventurous in the least, but now, I think I would rather eat anything but this.

I let the spoon drop into the bowl with a sigh as I sat back, the tray that laid on my bed shifting precariously. The recent events had changed a lot of things around here, and while I wholeheartedly understood why, it was a little hard to get used to.

Schedules were tight for everyone now, limiting everyone's, excluding knights, hours allowed out til twilight. And because of this, regular activities during the day were rushed, making people a bad combination of stressed and cautious.

Which, was part of the reason I was here, sipping soup over my bedsheets. I had barely been let out of my chamber in the past few days, everyone seemingly too nervous to let me out of their sight.

Though, yesterday around noon I had somehow convinced a few guards to accompany me on a trek to find something other than soup to eat. At first, I was unbelievably happy to be on my feet again, relishing in the sight of the familiar halls. But, it was short lived.

Hakyeong usually guarded the hallway in-between the offices and the main room, I knew, but today she was in the hall by the kitchen and the guard rooms. As we passed eyes, I remember words hanging on the tip of my tongue. And I knew she could tell, the former flat look on her face delving into one of curiosity.

But, when I tried to go over to her, a guard had stopped me, grabbing my arm.

"Sir. Please just try to get back to your chamber as quick as possible," He mumbled to me, making my eyes flit over to where she was standing.

She had an unreadable expression as she stared at us, inducing a guilty feeling in me as I nodded, turning away. I still remember the look of disappointment on her face as I did, and, though it didn't leave me feeling the best, what could I do?

THIRD P.O.V :

It seemed that as the days passed, things were just getting more reckless. Everyone's fear was lingering in the final realisation that someone had really been killed, and it wasn’t just a rumor. Because of this, things were rushed and unthorough all around the castle. Meals were repeated for days, jobs were done unmeticulously, and people were distant. It was too much of an anomaly for officials to pass a blind eye, so, a meeting was called that morning.

The royal supervisor had his doubts about what was going on, about what he was going to propose. But, he knew when everyone was sitting in front of him, that it was a decision that had to be made.

"Everyone," he stood up in front of the small group of men, their conversations dying down.

"I apologise to call you so early in the morning," he said, multiple people shaking their heads in dismissal. "But, I assume you can all figure why?"

This earned a few laughs before someone piped up, "Everything is a mess,"

He smiled and nodded. "Yes. Because of that, I want to propose something,"

The silence told him to go on. "I say we move on with the coronation,"

This raised a few eyebrows, even a few laughs.

"So," The director of management tapped his finger as his lips turned up in a small smile. "You're suggesting to put the younger prince up on that pedestal? When his older brother was murdered only days ago?"

He just smiled patiently. "I know it might not make much sense. But, we can only go long without a ruler,"

"It's only been a few days, we just need to be patient and wait for something to turn up,” The director said, his tone trying to hint that this part of things wasn’t up for discussion. “The king has been ruling fine from his bed, and that’s enough of a buffer for now until we can decide what to do,”

"The king is due soon," The royal supervisor said, making a few people shift uncomfortably in their seats.

The king's death was a taboo topic, and rightfully so. He was a good king, and people liked him. But most hadn't even stopped to consider what would happen after he does pass.

"Then why not wait?" Someone else piped up. "If it's that big of a deal to go without a ruler, then let the current king live it out, and crown the son then,"

“With all due respect, but is the king really in the best health to keep doing this? Sir Hyeonsik had most of the responsibilities before. So, why not crown the younger now? That way, we can put our focus onto him and protect him with no distractions,"

"You sound like a child begging for a toy right about now. Give it up, Hyunjin. It's just not the right time,"

He just sighed, pushing down the bubbling anger and nodding. Though he wanted to argue more, he knew he couldn't do anything without the majority's vote.

The same man pushed out his chair, saying, "All we can do at this point is continue to investigate. So, don't worry too much, Hyunjin,"

The royal supervisor just nodded.

"Fine. Meeting adjourned.”

—

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