#and idk I just think it would be so fucking funny including their miscommunications

[creepycoffins]

I said he was unpleasant, he said I was a louse, and then we took to quarreling round the house

#been thinking about them both living and being forced to be Human Brothers #after the events of trimax #and idk I just think it would be so fucking funny including their miscommunications #the insults theyd fling #the biting and the not caring about each others personal space or things the other owns #elbowing each other and bickering #trying to have some semblance of normalcy even though the crushing weight of having been gods once lingers heavy in every unspoken word #anyway #:) i have brainrot #trigun maximum #trigun #vash the stampede #millions knives #not ship #my art

[sukirichi]

SUKI I AM FINALLY HERE WITH MY RECS 💕💕💕 Sorry this took so look and ugh, I feel bad because I forgot to list down the titles of the other stories I've been following and now I already forgot them sorry 😭 anyway I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did, i also added fluff just in case. I also suck at summaries so I'll just add my thoughts about the stories

here are some of my recs for jjk, i still need to find the others because i forgot them and it's difficult to find them in my bookmarks now 😅

Ukiyo by tomodachi - fluff, this is one of my favorite married!Gojo fics, it's funny and fluffy at the same time 💕

The boy who murdered love by Anonymous - fluff and I really hope this doesn't end up as an angst because of the title? anyway so this is about Kamo!Reader and chaotic Gojo. Honestly this is just so cute as this fic starts when reader-chan and gojo are young with timeskips as they grow older. Also one of my favorite Gojo fics.

Infidelity (angst) & At his mercy (angst w/ some dark themes) by Tawus - (they have another gojo fic that I haven't read yet so I didn't include it here) okay, infidelity my god gojo and the reader idiots here because of some miscommunication but mostly I think because gojo is just a dumbass (so is the reader), the reader goes clubbing because she's lonely and her relationship is no longer as it is before and then gojo sees her and he disguises himself to interact with her so yeah dumbasses. And At his Mercy, again idk how you feel about dark themes, but the reader is a curse and was made for her master's pleasure, Gojo saves her and it has two endings one is a bit angsty but the other is more like an open end for me. But this is honestly worth the read!

cerialilith's fics - i haven't read all of her fics but her Toji fic and Getou fics are superb! The Toji fic is probably my favorite Toji fic? It's starts with fluff with the reader and Toji being young but the angst starts as they grow older and oh, I need to warn you that the character Naoki is kind of based on Naoya (but he is still there as a kid), idk if Naoki will still have some roles to play in future chapters but I hope Toji and the reader will have a happy end 😥, also ugh, Contemplation which is an angsty Royal AU (multi w Gojo & Toji) because Getou is such an asshole in here and has a lot of issues, it only has three chapters and I hope author-chan will update soon. And As We Walk with single parents au Dilf!Getou, this one just started and ahsjjdkflf I love it so much and they have a neighborhood association with the older characters as parents and lol Naoya is Maki and Mai's I think single dad here? (This honestly makes me want to read a single Dad Naoya au)

A Well Rounded Education by josucc - listen, this one is just 🔥🔥🔥 this is basically about Gojo's teaching assistant who gets to fuck all the Dilfs, and Getou is my favorite here idk but the latest update was about Naoya with hatefuck as the theme, lol again, Naoya is Maki and Mai's Dad here. The author is also here in tumblr so Idk if you already encountered their fics but if not then please read this!!!

Fated Arrangement by megumiigf - this was the Naoya fic that I recommended last time and idk if you already read it. It started out dark but I think Naoya is slowly starting to warm up to the reader? Again this has some dark themes.

I hope tumblr won't eat this ask (please confirm if you receive this) because lol I am so excited to share them to you. I'll send the Haikyuu recs in another ask because this is getting longer. I think you mentioned searching for Reiner fics so I assume that you also want to read AOT fics? Sadly tho, I only read Levi and Eren fics rn but I can send recs if you want. Please feel free to tell me. Also I hope the link system would work because this is my first time using them - 🌸

FLOWER ANONNN OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMPILING THIS LIST, IM SO EXCITED TO CHECK THEM ALL OUT! AND OMG NAOYA SERIES??!?!?!?! I COME RUNNING 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ OH I'm okay not reading much AoT since the show depresses me lol and I can't really find a characterisation of them that I 100% vibe with 🥺 AND YOOO I SEE SINGLE DAD NAOYA AU,,,I THINK I WANNA WRITE THAT! All of these sounds so amazing, thank you so much!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #anon:🌸 #suki: for keeps

[peg-legz4]

peggy's klance fic rec :)

this is my first fic rec and i know its really sloppy but one of my friends said she wanted it do I an forced to post it after procrastinating finishing it for a month. enjoy!

Best Friends to Lovers

Hearts Don't Break Around Here - klancekorner

AHHHHH okay okay okay this is the first klance fic i ever read and it set the bar soooo high. basically keith and lance have been bestfriends since foreverrr and it jumps between flashbacks and present day where keith is realizing hes just been In love with lance for like the whole time they've known each other and lance calls him snickers and its s l o w b u r n bc they're both oblivious idiots but theyre also pining and aghhghhh AND THE WAY THEY START TO REALIZE THEIR OWN FEEELINGS IS! IM- it's super cute pls read!!!

with love - allinadayswork - 8,888  AHHHGGGGGGGs high school au! this is so cute they're both so smitten basically they're best friends but lance is also keiths secret admirer and ahhhhh!!!!!! so cute pls read i beg of you + valentines day and overprotective shiro!!!!

 Your Smile Makes Me Awkward - Lancelee (ashleeforreal) - 8,791

another best friends to lovers (hehe) lance gets his braces taken off and keith is in a gay panic because lance looks hot and he doesnt know what to do and theres miscommunication but its all good in the end this was so cute

One Heart Missing - starlightment - 24021 HSWOQSJKNQJNIU BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS AU IM A SUCKER FOR THESEEE they’re in college and keith finds out he loves lance nd then they have a fwb thing going on and ppor keith but also poor lance for reasons i can’t disclose anD THE REOCCURRING THEME WITH THE ICE SKATING ITS SO CUTE AND DEHQIJOjqsk please just read it oh my god 

Soulmate AU

between two points - Alltheroads - 20,589 red string of fate au!!!!!!! keith is one of the few people in the world who can actually see the strings though, and lance seems not to have a string, just like keith. its them falling for eachother and keith teaching him how to repair a motorcycle and 50′s themed diners its amazingggg

Tell Me It’s My Name Written In Your Skin - Ivnars - 15,636 soulmate au where the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist once you fall in love with them (i think?) and lance thinks his is unrequited and of course he also has a martyr complex and is willing to die for the team and almost does and then omgomg i just its so great pls read

Bend It Like Soulmates - Reader115 - 23,998 HHHHHHHHhh SOCCER SOULMAtE AU AND THEYRE SO GOOD TOGETHER AND OMGOMGOMG SO MUCH PINING AND TENSION AND IT SJUST SO HAPPY AND AMAZING  IT HAS THEM BEING THE FAMOUS SOCCER SOULMATE COUPLE PLEASE READ READ READ YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOCCER

there, nestled against his pulse - hiuthyn SHAOAMALAL ITS A SOULMATE AU I LOVE THESE HJDJSJSJSS AND ITS CANONVERSE (im pretty sure this was a one shot first and then I came back and it was a multi chapter fic and I read and it was like 1000× more amazing ajsjska) this was one of the very first klance fics i read and it’s definitely the first one that made me like gasp and scram cause oh my god,. okay basically the first and last words your soulmate says show up on your wrists and keith hides his wrists because he thinks he k words his soulmate and there’s miscommunication aND KEITH’S BACKSTORY AND IT GIVES LANCE SO MUCH DEPTH??????? and it has a really happy ending and its slowburn and angsty and pining and i’m a sucker for all those things which made this amazing!!!!!!!

College AU

i just wanna be (with you) - aknightley - 8,020 COLLEGE ROOMMATES AU LETS GOOOOOOOO there’s a lot of tension and pining and they give eachother gifts all the time i’m sOFT pls pls pls read

reasons why keith is the worst - MellodramaticLawliet - 5517 lance and keith are roommates and to cope with his hate for keith, he starts a list of why he hates keith and it just turns into a journal abt keith and lance is so oblivious and there’s also fencing tournaments which is cool hadjalkj read ittt

You Should Date Me - petalloso ahhhh lance and Keith are both freshman in college and they have little adventures and it's just super cute and fluffy ajskkasna

Canonverse

The Art of Secret Telling - jilliancares - 4,880 so to form another coalition, voltron has to form another coalition and lance has, 1, never kissed anybody and 2, has a crush on keith hehehe

a culmination of things - viscrael ahhh it's super cute and short and basically jumps around in time and they're just in looovee

instincts - godsensei lance n keith are getting their groove on when red mistakes Keith's pleasure for distress and comes crashing through the wall ajsksksmsna

i can’t help but want - aknightley  lance and Keith's lions get stranded on different islands but their comms get through so they're just talking and bonding and falling in love while they get their lions fixed akssjal so cute pls read!!!!

never saw you coming - dimpleforyourthoughts HOLY HELL OG MY FREAKINGNS JUEUSS I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH IVE READ IT LIKE 20 TIMES AND EACH TIME IM BLOWN AWAY BY HOW BEAUTIFULL ITS WRITTEND AKAK its canonverse and goes in depth with my boys and lance has a martyr complex and keitHS BACKSTORY AND LE PETIT PRINCE AND THEY WOULD DIE FOR EACHOTHER AND ALMOST DO AND IT MADE ME CRY AND GINGER THE TABBY CAT PLEASE READ OH MY GOD ITS SLOWBURN AND THEYRE BOTH S O SMITTEN AHHHH

Terminal Velocity - speaks tHE ANGSTTTTT. i'm like, a whore for angst. but basically. voltron gets captured by these alien empaths and this guy feeds off of other people's pain(???) and so he tortures lance and makes keith watch and oh my. this is so good I felt so many emotions pls read.

Keith McClain - orphan_account 🥺🥺 keith sees visions of him and lance in the future on the space whale and its v soft

In English, Please  - orphan_account this is a fic I'll always remember omg so lance flirts with Keith in spanish but pretends they're insults and he thinks Keith wont find out (he does)

how not to be a cat: 101 - jilliancares- 8,113 kEITH KEEPS  accidENTALLY TURNINg INTo A CAT aND THEN ENDS UP CUDDLING WITH LANCE I”M SOFTTT THIS FIC BROKE ME WITH ITS CUTENESS HAHIUSJK 

 moderation - Katranga - 21, 613 HSJHKJAJOIHQQ keith gets bitten by a love bug and sees lance first and then allura gets bitten and sees hunk so he just tries to act how allura acts so it doesnt give away his actual crush on lance hsjksskjs

Public Displays of Affection by hattricks lance n Keith are undercover on a mission and they see guards and they hide by making out ajkaka

the waiting game - they frick frack a lot but basically Keith and lance make eachother wait through a week without sex and only teasing sksjakak

To Bite, Or Not To Bite - jilliancares - 11,433 lance gets bitten by a vampire!!!! and he turns into one!!!! need i say more? and the way it like happens AND THEN THE WAY HIM AND KEITH DECIDE TO OMG IM THIS IS GRESR

feelings on fire i guess i'm a bad liar - melancholymango - 22679 a witch curses lance and now he can’t lie to Keith or anything having to do with Keith and its really funny i cackled sjhkah

The Loverboy Trials - PM_Writes - 20,838 THSIEIHWHIJIHJI I LOVED THIS ONE AHHHHHHH.basicaly the aliens think keith is their god of fertility and stuff so they’re like oh we need to do a ritual thing where people fight for his virginity and voltron is like oh fuck no so then lance has to compete to save keith i can’t get over it it’s- i’m softttt

Sorry, Who Are You? - sjskakaja lance and keith were childhood best friends but keith is bad with faces so when they meet at the garrison lance is really salty and keiths backstoey and the way he find out i'm- its great trust me pls

it might not be that bad - Katranga - 16,416 omg i adore this fic okay so. basically. keith doesnt know the difference between jealously and attraction because of him clinging to the closet in middle school and now hes trying to find out why his and Lance's definitions of jealousy differ and Keith's bad at feelings please readd

Everything Else

read all about it - starlightment AHAKAKAL HIGH SCHOOL AU!!!! i just read this one and it’s great!!!1 Lance is on the newspaper and writes and articles professing his love for Keith, the star quarterback that everyones in love with. it's such a good read and oh my goshh this made me throw my phone and squeal out of freaking excitement i love it so much 🥺 idk how but this made me feel as if i was living out senior year through this fic??? it was just that amazing

it's you that's haunting me - perfchan 

suuuper cute youtuber au where Keith hunts gosts and enlists lance as his cameraman. (includes a haunted mansion ballroom dance scene) and its just great oml oml i love it so so much!!! there’s also like 4 sequels so that makes it even better!!!1

Dirty Laundry - 

this is a staple and if you havent read it you're either new to the fandom or living under a rock but its a fake dating au where keith spends winter break with Lance's family and they bondddd and its great!!!! 

alright i just realized the author took it down so uhhhh

adaigo by shipstiel

lance moves in next to keith and Keith likes to play piano at the ungodly hours of the might where lance is just trying to sleep. this ones so cute!!!!!!

eyes to you wide with wonder - aknightley

an office au where Keith is shiro's secretary and lance always comes up to his desk to annoy him and they mask their affection under playful banter and lance also ends up being Keith's knight in shining armor ajskssnns it's so great!!!!

okay i know that you are not my type (still i fall) - quidhitch

ajoasbak nyma cuffs lance to a bed during a party and then leaves but then the bed turns out to be none other than....Keith's bed!! so they like talk while Lance is only in boxers and cuffed to Keith's bed

you never stood a chance - kagshina

it's a snapchat fic!!!!!!! lance accidentally snaps keith a shirtless pic and then Keith snaps back and it's just 😳😳 the whole time it's great omg

Cold Hearts Looking for Love - swang_is_trying typical enemies to lovers where lance is the son of a rich businessman and visits the orphanage that Keith hangs around to visit Pidge??? but its fricking jam packed with them thirsting over each other sshsksksm (i must warn you, its incomplete)

Of Don Juan And Elvis - shipstiel 

Keith is a starbucks barista and lance always comes in and orders with really weird names ehehe

And Now Presenting: Rielle and the Forbidden Meringue

tsbkakaK this ones so cute keith is a galra guard and hes guarding a garden (ooh alliteration) and climbs a tree and then falls into lance's arms (who's an altean guard) and its really cute sjkssahajaj

how to not keep a diary, or, lance’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad semester - glitterfreezing sjskasla they're sophmores in college and roommates pidge forces lance to keep a diary and he just ends up ranting about keith but he’ oblivious to his won feelings heheh

Lance and the Search For Keith's Boyfriend - haikquu - 9497

lance is jealous bc everyone keeps talking abt keith’s boyfriends but he doesnt know who he is (it’s him)

bus buddies - WhatTheBodyGraspsNot - 8033

lance notices Keith doesnt have a bus buddy on a 3-day-trip to save the bees so he goes and sits with him and it's so cuteeeee

got got got it bad -  kairiolette - 10,377 so keith is bad at feelings so he asks what its like to have a crush on someone and then basically tells lance that he has a crush on him and lance just casually brings it up

Only Fools Rush In (but I Can't Help Falling in Love with You) - Fangirl_on_fire_ - 13,524

OMGOMGOMG LANCE IS A MAFIA .BOSS AND IT STARTS OFF WITH A ONE NIGHT STAND AND THEN THEY AHAAKSJSKSM ITS GREAT PLS READ

The Bitter And The Sweetness - The_Real_Karaage - 66337

its a klance youtuber au!!!!!! I love these!!!!! okay so keith makes like conspiracy theory videos and knife throwing ones and lance does like vlogs or storytimes with pidge and they also do dance and then they meet irl but lance doesn't know keith is the YouTube guy cause he hides his identity and omgomggg also Keith is from Texas so he acts like a stereotypical emo cowboy and as a Texan I find it extremely funny

nobody puts baby in a corner - orphan_account - 3,950

 its like the 23rd century and aliens are on earth and keith is a royal galra and lance goes clubbing and and they meet and dance and wOOHOO 

okay thats all for now but i'm probably gonna make a part 2 cause i have a whole bunch saved to my notes app lmao have fun reading y'all

#klance #klance fics #klance fic rec #voltron fic #keith kogane #lance mcclain #keith kogane x lance mcclain

[risthebrave]

okay so i was going to send in an ask for the director’s cut thing, but there were too many fics i wanted to ask about 😭 i’ll send them in but PLEASE keep in mind you don’t have to do them all i feel bad dmfjsjf

move so pretty (you’re all i see), sleeping on our problems, works like a charm, just a flicker in the dark, and sweet like honey

ahhh omg thank you for sending these in! i’m so sorry for how long it took to get out - i may have forgotten about it shjkskss also i don’t mind talking about all of them but i’m definitely going to keep each one short. you can find them under the cut:

move so pretty (you’re all i see) ~

this fic was started initially when i was doing word prompts using curiouscat! people would send me words and i’d write a quick little drabble/snippet... they’re typically around 300-ish words but i got the word “owns,” and maybe got a bit carried away? i think that prompt ended up being 1k words - too long to post using cc so i had to take screenshots and post as separate tweet. 

the idea that came to me was something i love to read in fics: one of them walking in on the other masturbating. i didn’t intend for it to become anything more than that snippet but i what can i say? i got intrigued. my brain helpfully provided a backstory: best friends, harry maybe having feelings for louis but not wanting to ruin their friendship... 

fast-forward three days and i posted an 11k fic shjssks

this was my first attempt at writing a pwp so that was an interesting experience!!! i’m too obsessed with giving backstories and arcs to ever write just pure smut but this is the closest i’ve gotten??? 5.5k/11k being smut, that is. and for once coming up with the title wasn’t too hard because there’s one song i always think of when it comes to best friends to lovers and that’s lucky!! 

i don’t really know what else to say for this one! i remember sarah and i both wrote and posted pwps in a short span of each other so that was fun... she’s actually the one who motivated me to finish and post this fic instead of just letting the idea go. and her dog ended up in the story: chica <3 my absolute favorite <3333

sleeping on our problems ~

welp. this fic was a struggle for a long time. idk if i’ve talked about it on this blog but this fic was initially an exes to lovers fic!!! where they spent harry’s rut together right before breaking up and then louis finds out he’s pregnant and angst ensues. 

changing it to a one-night stand (even though it wasn’t only one night shjksks) ended up being a really good decision in the way that this new version of the story required a lot less angst and reflection of their past relationship, choices, actions!! that first fic was going to be a lot heavier i think shjsks but i really love how it turned out!!

barring the main tropes, the progression of the story and the outline itself changed so. much. in the process of writing... i found an earlier saved version of my outline and the story is almost completely unrecognizable haha. and actually the most recent saved version of the outline is also not 100% accurate to the final story because for the last 10k of the story, i was flying completely free shjsksk. 

also, even after i finished the fic, i went back and added two scenes the next day so it’s safe to say i changed so much of this story -- it was never supposed to be that long either hsjsksk the goal was 48-50k and i thought i was being optimistic!

somewhat in the same vein but also really different: this fic was one of the first fics i ever wrote out of order! before this, i had switched around maybe a couple times when writing a fic but mostly stuck to chronological order. but in this one i kept getting stuck with certain scenes and decided that i’d never reach my goal of finishing unless i switched to parts of the story i had the inspiration to write in the moment instead of getting stuck on one single part i had no motivation for. it really helped the process and i’ve been switching around ever since. 

another thing that really helped me actually finish this fic was the motivation and encouragement of people on twitter and i’m still so appreciative of it now :’) there’s no way i could have finished this fic without the kind words and well wishes of my mutuals!!

(also - i included an easter egg in this fic from another one of my fics... i suppose that’s sort of the type of insight that fits for these things? the ballet louis and harry saw in new york was swan lake <3)

works like a charm ~

ooo i wrote this fic for my friend’s birthday!! she loves hp aus and slytherin hl so it was just a given that i write that for her. i was on a deadline - pretty sure i made the doc on september 4th, aka nine days before i posted - and i hadn’t had my full outline done when i started which is is... let’s just say very uncommon. 

this is another example of me going off outline and changing the story as i went because initially the estimation was about 12k and the basic plot was that after they’d fuck for the first time, they’d immediately talk about the past and resolve those misunderstandings. but when i got to that point, i realized it felt too rushed for how the story was progressing so i extended it a bit and added some more *tension* and *miscommunication* until they finally got their shit together!

also i feel like some would find louis’ blatant lies when interrogated about his feelings for harry to be unrealistic but as someone who has definitely done the exact same thing (lmao - without the happy ending), i find it a definite possibility. and i mean, we all say stuff we don’t mean under pressure - whether it’s to louis’ (and my) extent or not. 

another thing i remember about this fic was having to work out with sarah - who was also posting a fic for this friend’s birthday - posting times and dates. we eventually agreed that she’d post first and i’d post the day after (neither were the actual day of the birthday because we were both running late!) this is a conversation we proceeded to have many other times since we both have made habits of birthday fics and we pretty much have the same friends. 

all of this was also happening in sync with us writing a fic together for our other friend’s birthday which was on the 8th... yes it was exactly as chaotic and stressful as you’re thinking but also fun! and i love all three fics involved!! haha. 

just a flicker in the dark ~

okay this fic is definitely my favorite thing i’ve ever written and i’ve said that before many, many times but it’s true! but it too changed so much from the initial idea to the final end product. 

in fact, the original idea was a 20k somewhat-crack fic where harry was a ghost and louis was the paranormal investigator trying to get him to stop haunting this house. it was just supposed to be a quick and fun halloween fic to work on while finishing up my first blff and finally making head way on my abandoned second blff... obviously, that changed drastically. 

it initially started with me getting the idea of louis and harry being partners and enemies. and then i was thinking... why not throw exes on top of it while we’re there??? that was completely self-indulgent since exes to lovers is my favorite trope of all time. but the idea was still that they were paranormal investigators trying to work a case on a haunted house and though the estimated wc had raised to 35k, i was still hoping that it’d be quick and easy because i had two other projects that needed a lot of my attention. 

then came the first day of october. i woke up after having the craziest dream about louis and harry and the ghost that was not really a ghost. i ended up writing about 7k that thursday and the story really just took shape from there. the first sequence i wrote was actually the scene where louis goes into the backyard and ends up in the pocket dimension where the spirit imprints on him - i think it was a 3.5k scene and it just flew out of me sjksjsk. after that i took a small break to start my outline but it was more of a messy list of ideas and details and things i wanted to include than my usual organized format. the next scene i wrote that day was the scene where louis is in the bedroom and the demon is there but harry is not but then he is (i’m so good at describing things, right?) that’s actually one of my favorite scenes i’ve ever written and the funny thing is that i barely even knew all the details of the demon plot by this point but my hands just kept typing and my brain had the tendrils of the story forming and that amazing feeling that this is something good. 

i could ramble on forever about the process of writing this fic but i’ll just say that it’s the most fun i’ve ever had writing anything ever. word-building and supernatural elements are my favorite and getting to delve into those things here was so much fun! the entire process took twenty-five days (spanning from october 1st to october 28th - with a small three day break to focus on finishing miss wedding au!!) and though i did have some small struggles and moments of writer’s block, for the most part the story just came to me. and it’s so amazing to me because i didn’t even have all the details and facets of the plot until louis did too but it ended up working out??? if anything, it showed his process of figuring things out really well because it was the process of me figuring things out!

also this was the first time i heavily featured a fic pet in a fic and i fell as much in love with venus as everyone else did :’) she has my heart, truly <3 i love this world and these characters so so much and i hope to return to it sometime in the future!

sweet like honey ~

whooo, okay, this fic... yikes. this fic was a capital s Struggle. 

so basically this fic was written for the blff and though it came out first, it was the second prompt i signed up for, prompt 63: Friends to lovers AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and flatmates in Uni and they both need money, Harry for his gym membership and Louis for cute stuff like sanrio plushies, so they decide to film homemade porn videos together. Louis is shy and sweet and maybe inexperienced and Harry kinda doms him.

i remember the exact moment i saw the blff post on tumblr about it being allowed to sign up for another prompt from that point on - i was sitting at the counter at my friend’s ranch’s kitchen eating crepes and browsing on my phone. i saw the post and immediately signed up for this prompt because it had been my second choice and though i love love loved my first prompt so much, i was disappointed at not being able to write this one... but i did!

the idea and basic outline was actually completed way back in july/august but for some reason i just couldn’t make any actual progress on it for so long??? i’m pretty sure the document was stuck at 5k for over three months shsjksks to be fair, i did keep pushing it to the side in favor of other newer fics but i was just experiencing the biggest barrier when it came to this story and characters. 

in fact, i actually reached out to the mods in late october about a potential extension - they informed me that all writers could use a two week extension if needed and i figured that would be fine. however, i didn’t end up using it! within the first few days of november, i managed to pull the wc up to 8k by the skin of my teeth (was still majorly struggling) - i was still sure i’d need an extension but then something really awful but in this case, helpful, happened... 

election week. 

basically, i’m a big stress-writer. writing is what i do when i’m upset or anxious or stressed because it truly is my happy place. i wouldn’t say writing during that week made me feel much better about everything going on but it provided a distraction. so much though that i went from 8k to 24k in the span of a few days... and i have absolutely no recollection of writing any of it. 

not only did i not need any extension, i also somehow ended up finishing early by a few days. and i really liked what i had!! or what i remembered of it anyway shjskks.

one thing i remember really focusing on in terms of these characters and dynamic was having it actually just be them starting as friends and developing feelings later. i feel like a common trope in friends to lovers fics is having one or both of them with pre-existing feelings that they feel is unrequited. obviously there’s nothing wrong with that (i’ve written it myself lol) and it’s a common trope for a reason - because it’s good - but i wanted to try something a little different. them actually filming these videos is what acted as the catalyst to them beginning to view their relationship with new eyes and open the door to the eventual feelings that developed. 

i also had so much fun writing harry’s pov in this one haha. i feel like this version of him was really bold and shameless and super easy for me to develop. 

this is also the closest i’ve ever gotten to meeting my estimation word count... ever. my estimate was 32k and it ended up at 33k!!! and yes i’m more proud of that than i should be lol

-

anyways, i pretty much just rambled but if anyone sees this and gets some good insight out of it, then yay! feel free to send more director’s cut inquiries!! i love doing them (even if it takes me weeks - sorry again!)

#asks #director's cut #msp #soop #wlac #jafitd #slh

[annadelveys]

I’ve just started watching outlander and while I’m very entertained, I know there’s going to be a 20 year time jump and I am so NERVOUS!!!! How are they gonna do it!! Also if you could changed 3 things about the show what would u change.

ok so not to disappoint but i actually never got through season 3. i had a Very Peculiar vision for the first part of season 3 & i got really disappointed when they didnt choose to include some of the more disturbing stuff (which i thought was absolutely integral to jamie and claire’s relationship). and i admit that i just.... got bored afterwards.... cos just like you say the time jump felt weird. i think i would stick to it if they didnt choose to include the entire brianna subplot (i dont care about her! and i dont care about roger either!)

also three things i would change:

claire’s character. while caitriona is absolutely stunning and charming i do miss book claire who was just... fun... like that girl knew how to live, she was slightly more obsessive, slightly more funny, slightly more... dare i say... feisty. idk i know its hard to translate 1st POV narration to screen but just thinking about book!claire checking on “young jamie” like 3 times a day (”did anyone bring jamie lunch? i must go and check! i havent remembered my husband for 3 chapters now whaddup”) makes me laugh.

as i mentioned earlier, the first part of season 3. It actually starts at the end of season 2 when they’re saying their melodramatic goodbye by the stones. and i get it. i do. they needed some solid romance. but in the book jamie and claire are mad at each other for really selfish reasons and they need to deal with the situation and its fun to read about and fun to imagine. jamie told her to run - and she did run. and both really fucking resent each other for doing what they did (among many other things, might i add). their fight (unlike many “miscommunication :(” fights between couples in fiction is rooted in actual tangible Issues they have with one another and the show utterly failed to address that

they could’ve cast someone who actually looks like 22 as jamie. i mean A Lot of the tension comes from their (not huge but still significant) age difference & its absolutely incredible to see a 30 year old sam trying to persuade you that he’s a virgin. i feel like this is one of the very few shows where the actors were aged up lol (blah blah blah i know they were looking for actors who could believably do the time jump i know i know)

(things im glad they changed in the show: WAY LESS RAPE)

#outlander #Anonymous

[timeisacephalopod]

Jim Shorts

Idk, just a lil StarQuill high school AU that I think is funny.

Tony is perched in Peter’s lap with Gucci sunglasses on basically daring these assholes from Shit Hole Missouri to say something stupid. They don’t because, as Peter once put it, he radiates chaotic energy. When he’d said that to Rhodey he looked like he had a minor revelation about Tony’s daily habits and told him to stop that. Joke’s on him because Tony’s chaotic energy is what attracted Sam to their friendship, and that’s how Rhodey ended up with a boyfriend who sometimes teams up with his best friend to enact some hilariously expensive petty revenge. He’s since told Sam to stop with his chaotic energies too but they all know that’ll never happen.

Peter is attempting to explain musicals to him- god help him he hates musicals- when Hope walks over. “Hey, did you bring gym shorts?” she asks and Tony frowns.

“Why would I bring Rhodey shorts?” he asks and Peter lets out a loud snort as he starts laughing but Hope looks confused.

“What’s Rhodey got to do with this?” she asks.

Tony squints, “you asked if I brought Jim shorts, why would I bring shorts for Rhodey? He’s a big boy, he can back his own shorts.” Shit, truth be told as the Mom Friend he packs everything. Including Tony’s stuff, playlists for their trip here, and snacks for Tony and Sam, which Hope had been offended about because what about her snacks?

It takes a moment for Hope to clue in and then she rolls her eyes, “you geek piece of shit, I meant the article of clothing, not shorts for Rhodey.”

Honestly for a genius he’s not quick on picking up the miscommunication, especially given that Peter realized where they both went wrong right away. “Shit. No, I didn’t bring gym shorts. Exercise should be illegal, you know how I feel about that.”

Peter presses a kiss to his cheek. “And this is the kind of shit I love when you visit- nothin’ tells me you’re a rich kid with no real world knowledge like thinking gym shorts were shorts for a guy named Jim,” he says.

Tony makes an offended noise. “You know what, go ask your local goth kid about gym shorts and see what they tell you,” Tony says.

“Actually I agree with Tony on that,” Sam says, appearing behind Hope. “What makes Tony a rich kid with no knowledge of anything is being dumb enough to wear fucking Gucci sunglasses to a high school in which most of the students are willing to beat the shit out of each other over a half a cafeteria hamburger let alone glasses that would give them a couple thousand as a payout, not the shorts.”

Peter nods, “honest to god, that’s true. If you weren’t you I would have robbed you so hard by now. A Rolex, really? And your shoes?” Peter says, looking at said items.

Tony frowns, “these shoes aren’t even in season,” he says. They’re last years fashion.

“Baby, we're poor here. Last years fashion still nets a pretty penny. Who taught you how to live?”

“Rich people,” Sam says. “Honestly Hope isn’t better, the only thing keeping people away from her is that they all saw her deck that guy who tried to grab her ass in the parking lot.”

Hope wrinkles her nose, “did you guys even see that mullet? Nasty,” she mumbles.”And he was driving a Pinto with three separate garbage bags taped to the back window,” she says like that is the worst stuff about that guy.

“Would you really rob me?” Tony asks Peter.

He sighs, “first time I saw you I thought about it for a good two hours but you’re hot, so I figured I’d fuck you instead,” he says.

Tony exchanges a look with Hope and Sam starts laughing. “You ever see them make the I’m Rich And Offended Face before? Because that’s the face.”

“You were going to rob Tony?” she asks.

Peter snorts, “I’ll rob any idiot dumb enough to walk into this shit hole town wearing thousands of dollars worth of stuff. I gotta eat.”

“That’s rude,” Tony mumbles but Peter tightens his arms around him.

“Its okay baby, I have good street cred here, no one will rob you.” Tony looks at Sam because he doesn’t know what that means but Sam doesn’t look like he’s about to hand off information about that any time soon.

“How do you get street cred here?” Hope asks, braving it.

“Same way you do in the corporate world- rob the shit out of everyone you decide deserves it, don’t get caught, only fuck the right people over, kiss everyone else’s asses- you know the deal. Except we actually go to jail if we do get busted. Also sometimes you gotta kill people,” he says casually, like that’s a thing people just say. 

Hope shoots a panicked look to Sam, their only Resident Poor Person Friend given that Rhodey is both comfortably middle class and also not here at the moment. “Its a dog eat dog world,” Sam says, dead serious.

“Poor people just... kill people?” Hope says, casting a worried glance around.

Peter and Sam exchange a look and start laughing. “Jesus Christ, rich people have no concept of anything,” he says, shaking his head. “I have street cred because I sell the best weed in the state, not because I’ve killed people. No one wants to piss off the dealer.”

“Did I ever tell you this idiot thought bread costs twenty five dollars a loaf?” Sam asks.

“In my defense in some places it does,” Tony says because he looked stuff up and food is really expensive in places where its scarce. 

Peter squints, “where? Fuckin Whole Foods?”

#tony x peter quill #high school au #alternate universe

[hoedameron]

big night for television because i not only watched my two szn faves pero i found another show to watch. here is a little rundown that no one cares to read but i wanna talk about them bc the online community is super small and there aren’t any cool bitches </3

spoilers!! //

ncis szn 18 premiere: i think it’s so mf sexy that the showrunners/writers didn’t write in about the pandemic like...it was such a relief. this is already traumatic to continue to experience but my gosh, very appreciative for those who are actually on the frontlines and just don’t want that reminder. ANYWAYS! that fucking beginning got me standing up and shrieking i was like NO WAY did gibbs try to shoot down mcgee ain’t no WAY !! i demand mf ANSWERS like how COME he is chasing that plane, why is mcgee alone, why is gibbs on the mf ROOF with a SNIPER RIFLE?? also that shit with fornell...like KINGS if this show wasn’t homophobic, those two would make a really great couple love wins <3 but also, their friendship is incredibly special and i like that aspect more than a romantic relationship between the two. they’re always getting into some shit and it’s like jaksdjslka. oh, jimmy :(( almost getting hurt :(( that’s my mans y’all why would u wanna hurt him :(( him with those rolled up sleeves though 🤤😏 bishop and torres being the duo that they are...wish to see them again. the plot was pretty okay like it wasn’t thrilling and it was kinda like oh man, this shit wild fr...solid start! can’t wait for what they cooked up for the rest of the szn. ALSO!! next week is the 400th (FOUR HUNDREDTH!!) episode and it looks so scrumptious we get young gibbs and young ducky let’s fucking GOOOOOO

fbi szn 3 premiere: okay let’s just take a moment of silence for our lost comrades kristen and special agent emily WE POUR ONE OUT FOR Y’ALL :// this shit had me on the edge of my seat bitch!! i missed this show like yeah it kinda put me in a sad mood knowing that we lost a series regular so suddenly (and i still don’t know why...there are no articles out) but this shit was culturally relevant. it did touch on the pandemic with face masks but i think some of the scenes were shot before the pandemic so there was like...some hella inconsistencies. HOWEVER! i am willing to gloss over that shit when there is some ajskdjskal shit happening on the screen. never disappointed in the writers to deliver some poignant shit like in the beginning where the dude said that all white people are racists, including him and her (her being the other character in the scene) and the way she reacted was so funny like YES BITCH YOU TOO “GOOD WHITE GIRL”. and that new character nestor? is he staying on for the rest of the season because.....🤤😏 maggie, if you ain’t claiming him i will take both him and oa in one swoop <33 ANYWAYS, that shit with oa and his informant....that shit hurted 😔 can’t believe these mfers were about to snpe his ass and for what -_- also the music never ceases to make me bounce in my seat like YEEHAW!! the maggie snippet of why she wasn’t happy about the “success” of her undercover work before coming back to the fbi....MAN, okay more shit hurt damn bitch!! also the new girl (forgot her name lol) that is scola’s (barely remembered this guy’s name lol) partner now, she so bad like she seems like a fun character we will see how she fairs. and scola, my mans....looking fine as always <33 jubal.....scrumptious and showing up that whole command center and for what! love him. fbi always has a fire season so i can’t wait to watch :)

big sky series premiere: YES, SUE ME, I WATCHED IT!! it was advertised all over twitter and my dad and i saw some ads for weeks so we were like okay, let’s give it a chance...and it is actually REALLY fucking good. predominately white cast pero whatever ig...annoying because we only have one black woman in the cast and that is IT for people of color....crickets. anyways, the plot is interesting and it may be typical: a trucker in his late 30s who still lives with his overbearing mom gets sick and tired of her snide remarks that are supposed to be “out of love” and starts kidnapping people...possibly even killing them. the twist is that, well, he has a state trooper covering for his eyes and HE LITERALLY KILLED SOMEBODY BECAUSE THE KIDNAPPER (forgot his name lol) WAS GETTING “SLOPPY”. back to the other characters, we got cassie and jennie/jenny (idk which spelling it is) who are kinda in a fight bc cassie slept with jenny’s husband who are separated but the miscommunication led jenny to get big mad when she found out cassie slept with cody (husband). now they’re gonna have to work together (they’re all private detectives/investigators) despite this to find the girlfriend of jenny’s son who went missing when she was on a roadtrip with her sister to meet with her son. ANYWAYS yeah it sounds a bit boring BUT that cliffhanger made me stand the FUCK up like AHHHHHHH!! this season looks fire and i am willing to give it a shot :) i actually thought that big sky was more about the supernatural but it’s just some white guy abducting women so what’s new

and that does it! tuesdays are for da copaganda :3c taking three hours out of my day of being a police and prison abolitionist to watch ncis, fbi, and big sky 😼 and that is like the only day besides sunday (SUNDAYS ARE FOR DA NCIS NOLA BEST NCIS) so like...i really don’t watch anything on streaming for some odd reason. like, give me a television show on the tv where i gotta wait every week for an episode with commercials and i am THERE but give me a streaming show with zero commercials and i’m like 😐 wonder if there is any content for these...don’t mind me gonna go in da tags 🤠

#byeee why is this so long #i won't do these rundowns every week only if i wanna scream about sumn that happened #today is a special occasion :)

[noona-la-la-la]

(1)I follow you for so long and i enjoyed all of your stories but also your advices. I kinda need some help and idk who should i ask. I was in a relationship with this boy that is from the same class as me. We dated 1 year and a half ago... but since we are in the same class we still see eachother and its not awkward at all. Well when we were together. I refused doing " it " with him because i was a virgin ( i still am ) and after 2 weeks we broke up. When i refused he wasnt angry.

(2)he didnt get angry. We cuddled and it was really funny. I refused to do it because even if i knew him for lore than a year..we were in a relationship just for 2 weeks and i just wanted to wait more. When we broke up he said its because we dont really see eachother outside of school and stuff like this ( this made my question in he wanted me just for a quick fuck). Well i still have feelings for him.. and since that day he still hugged me and he was really sweet to me

(3)But today.. he stayed next to me in class. He took my hand in his and he placed it on his lap. Without realising it. Well, i kinda felt something hard and suddenly i truned all red. He saw my reaction. Then he suddenly started to rub my hand over his...., i lowkey got shocked. I never toched a dick. But then he guided my hand under his pants and i started to move my hand up and down. I could see how much he was enjoying. ( nobody saw us because he put a big scarf on our laps )

I feel so bad for writing so much. You might think im childish. But i just wanted to tell you and maybe to hear what you think about this situation TT

First of all, I do not think you are childish.  Also, don’t feel bad for writing somuch.  Most people who send in asks don’tinclude nearly enough information for me, so I appreciate you including allthis detail.  One important detail thatyou did not include is how you are feeling about what happened?  Are you happy? Angry? Confused?  While it was happening did you want to stopbut were too afraid or shocked to do so? Were you shocked but still curious and enjoying what was happening?  Did you feel like you could have pulled yourhand away and chose not to or did you feel like you had to keep your hand thereeven if you didn’t want to?  

Because I’m about to write a whole bunch of words below, but thesingle most important thing is how you feel about what occurred and making sureyour words and actions in the future correspond with your feelings.  Some people will read your story and think itsounds like the plot line of a smut they want to read, some will wish somethinglike that would happen to them one day, others will be appalled and scared foryou to have to endure something like this, others still will remember apersonal trauma where they were sexually assaulted or coerced into performingsome kind of sex act against their will. All of those feelings are very different and all are valid -- and itunderscores the importance of getting explicit consent when engaging in anykind of sexual activity.  

THIS IS GOING TO GET LOOOOONG!  

SO I’M PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT!

If I’m reading what you wrote correctly, you say that you likedthis guy from your class and the two of you dated for 2 weeks.  He wanted to have sex and you refused becauseyou didn’t feel like you had been dating that long and because you weren’tready to lose your virginity yet.  Andthen he broke up with you, using the excuse that you didn’t see each otherenough outside of class.  After only twoweeks.   So I think you already know, andwould agree, that his excuse was a load of crap.  He broke up because you didn’t want to havesex.  I don’t know him and maybe itsounds judgmental, but to break up after only two weeks because you didn’t seeeach other enough is ridiculous.  If hewanted to see you more often, well… he could have made an effort to see youmore often.  My take on this is that helusted after you more than he actually liked you, and when it was clear thatyou were not going to fuck him, he didn’t have a reason to be in therelationship any longer.  If sex is abigger priority to him than actually getting to know you and getting closer toyou over time, then that’s his choice – even if it sucks and it makes him looklike a jerk.

Regardless, you guys remained friendly and now, 1 ½ years later,he is sitting next to you in class and puts your hand on his lap so you can“accidentally” feel his erection.  Oncehe confirms that you know he has a hard on and you don’t pull away or scream oranything, he pushes it to the next level, by moving your hand over his clothederection.  You didn’t pull away again, sohe pushes it to the next step, which is putting your hand down his pants so youcan give him a hand job – which you do, at least for a little while.  Did he make you do something against yourwill or were you a willing participant in this little escapade?  I don’t know. He doesn’t know, although I’m guessing he thinks you were fine with it.

So, let’s talk about consent. I could talk for days about the social issues and taboos around sex thatmake discussing the need for explicit and enthusiastic consent such a rarity.  But in an ideal situation, everyone who wantsto initiate sexual activity would explicitly ask for consent and the otherpartner would explicitly agree or refuse. Unfortunately, it often doesn’t happen that way and it leads toconfusion, misunderstanding, and in some more serious cases, rape or sexualassault.  

Explicit consent is when one person clearly asks for sex and theother person clearly says yes to the sex. In the case of what happened between you and this guy – he should havecome to you and said “Will you give me a hand job?” and then you could give ayes or no answer.  And I get it, thatsounds ridiculous – but it can also be done in a more sexy way.  If he had said to you, “You look so sexytoday, but then again you look sexy every day. You know I can’t stop thinking about you, just being near you makes mehard.  I would do anything to have youtouch me.  I know this is probably out ofline, but I can’t help myself.  I feelready to explode.  Please touch me.  You can just put your hand on top of my pantsto start. Please.”  And then you candecide what it is you want to do.  

My guess is that he didn’t want to risk rejection, so ratherthan straight out ask you for what he wanted, he went for the more common (andmore dangerous) route of getting implicit or implied consent.  Rather than using words, he tries to figureout how far he can go based on actions. He puts your hand in his lap… you don’t pull away… he assumes this isokay.  He moves your hand over his dick…you don’t pull away… he assumes this is also okay.  And so on and so forth.  The problem is that everything is left toindividual interpretation when in reality, you could have been so shocked orscared that you froze up and that’s why you didn’t pull away.  This is why it’s always best to go forexplicit consent rather than implied consent – it removes the chance ofmiscommunication.

I’m going to guess you did not expect the first time you everytouched a dick to be in a public setting with a guy who once dumped you for notputting out.  This certainly wasn’t anideal situation.  And to be really clear,the fact that he did this to you is another indication that he lusts after youmore than he actually likes or respects you. But the real question is “what do you want to have happen now?”  Because I would bet money that he is going tocome back to you and try to do this again – or maybe he’ll try to push things alittle further.   And when he does come back to you, he islikely not going to explicitly ask for your consent and instead he will try toget you to do what he wants through actions rather than words.  So you need to figure out what you are okaywith and what is too much for you and use your own words to make it clear tohim where the boundary is.  I don’t knowwhere that line is for you.  If youdecide that the hand job was fun and you’d like to do it again – then sayso.  If you decide that the hand job wasway over the line and you are not at all comfortable with what happened and younever want it to happen again – then say so. And if there is something in between – maybe you are okay with parts ofit, or you would be willing to do it again under a particular set ofcircumstances – then ask for what you want. You have the right to set the boundaries.  And he can either agree to that or he can getlost.

#fyi this guy is not good boyfriend material #whatever you decide remember that lust is not love and it is not respect #advice and opinions #sex advice #consent #Anonymous

[love-actually-is-allaround]

Sometimes you just gotta vent

I am so unbelievably frustrated with my best friend right now. Obviously I adore her, but that doesn't mean she isn't selfish AF sometimes, and this isn't even for my benefit it's for her poor boyfriend's. So Brianne and Kyle have been going out for 6 years, a long time yes, but unsure if this includes the month or so they broke up in their second year because Brianne doesn't like to think about that because it doesn't fit in with her fairytale romance, yes that's my girl. Keep in mind they are both older than me (Kyle just turned 30 and she'll be 26 in a few weeks), but ya...they've been together long enough that Kyle has started saving for a ring. Now obviously I know this because I'm the best friend and kind of Kyle's only friend in like a 30 mile radius, but did I find out from him telling me? Nope...I found out cuz my crazy best friend has already found his money envelope multiple times and has clearly counted the money because a few months ago he reached about a grand in savings. N mind you they live together on their own, so this is money he's been saving while paying for his half of the rent, his car bills, his debt, fun stuff for them to do, and whatever other amenities they need. And he'd only been saving for a month or so, so yeah, he was proud. What does my beautiful, spoiled best friend do? She picks up the envelope and goes, "Honey, I'm so proud. You're about a 4th of the way there!" Good. Freaking. Lord. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls who's all "NO DIAMONDS, GIVE ME A TWIG WOVEN INTO A BAND N ILL BE HAPPY" like no. It's supposed to symbolize your love, you're supposed to wear it forever, and you want it to last and be good quality. So yes, it should be probs the nicest ring you own, but this is not what you say to your BF who's been busting his ass off. First of all, it shouldn't be anywhere that she can count it (I yelled at him about that) but honestly Brianne's kinda crazy n if really it's in their place she probably would have found it. But oh lord, so this sets them off into a fight cuz he's like "wtf how much do u want me to spend?!" And she's all "do you think I'm not worth that money?!" Uuugggghhhhhh. I've gotten this from both sides now and as per usual, it's a simple miscommunication as are like 96% of normal couple fights, and so naturally they both freak out to me and I have to calm them down and translate what the other person means. I placate them, brianne agrees to stop harping and Kyle continues to save. But it gets worse when she hangs with her mom. Again, I freaking LOVE Brianne's mom, but she like Brianne seem to have this whole "more money = love" mentality which is super fucked up. They start looking at potential rings to get an idea of what she'd want, fair. She also discusses how they have a family friend that can get them better quality rings for cheaper prices, awesome. But then when she comes home from that convo the price for the ring is now 5 grand and to make matters worse, a month later, Kyle texted me today to say now it's 6 grand. What the actual fuck?!? So I will talk to her about this and tell her to back the fuck off, cuz here's the thing: she never needs to know nor should she ever know the god damn price of her ring. Why does it freaking matter?!?!! If it's what she wants and what Kyle wants and it's gonna last however long, WHY DOES THE PRICE MATTER?! And here's where my best friend makes me wanna rip my hair out. In her head, that money = love thing, is real. She's so much about labels and I don't get why. I was shopping for her birthday today but I'm low on funds so I looked around charming Charlie's and target thinking "maybe I could get her a cute dress or nice shirts for work". But then I think, when have I ever seen her wear any of the clothes or accessories I've bought her? The answer: never, unless it's a label. It's sad that it's her mind set, but it seems to be. Idk who the fuck she's trying to impress, but it seems to be rubbing off on her poor boyfriend and I'm frustrated. This is not the way for them to start off a marriage and I cannot be there to couples counsel them every step of the way. An engagement ring is supposed to symbolize a promise to be together forever, a symbol of your love and devotion to one another, not a way to wave your hand around and be like "look how fucking loaded my boyfriend is!!!" I've legit heard her say stuff like "your ring / wedding are going to be so much better than mine" LIKE WHAT?! I'm no where near to that level! No one has ever liked me enough to be with me that long!! I haven't fucking been on a date since high school!!! Why would you compare a 6 year theoretically good relationship to my pathetic lack there of love life?! Clearly she's insecure, but I don't like why. Kyle has his faults, for sure, but he loves the crap out of her...he wouldn't have stuck with her for so long if he didn't. But fighting over how expensive a ring is doesn't bode well at all. What are you going to do when it's a house? Or kids??? This fundamental lack of understanding and communication within a relationship can doom it. Now they are not the kind of ppl who'll walk away, they're more the sweep our problems under the rug and complain to others kind of people. But that's worse!!! Those feelings can only bottle and fester until they explode and no one wants to be there when that happens, I just hope they grow the fuck up and actually have adult conversations and try to hear each other out and fix it. I just wish she knew how freaking good she has it. I'd give anything for some fucking affection. Like I don't need 5 or 6 grand anything, I'd just like a kind, fun boy to go do stuff with and really just snuggle up. I'm so fucking lonely it's not even funny! I have fantasies about fictional characters cause that's all I've got. The last real life boy I had a semi crush on is gay as the Fourth of July. So really, I just wish people would stfu and be grateful. I try to, but then I gotta deal with this. I'm exhausted and need to get up for work tomorrow, but this is the bullshit that is plaguing me. Le sigh, maybe one day she'll listen to me. Sorry for the rant, needed to happen.

#vent #best friend problems #selfish #sorry for the tldr #frustrated #sorry I haven't posted in like 80 years #I'm so boring

[livingllz-blog]

The Story of Us: Part 2

WEEK 5:

This week, you went to colorado for hockey. We went to lunch and hung out the night before you left and I started ignoring your attempts to talk to me in person and just gave one word responses and even BABUSHKA-ed out of your room. You texted me later asking if I were upset w you. In all honesty I was upset w myself since I felt like I was dragging you along and couldn’t decide on how I felt. We talked that night before you left and I told you to keep your options open and maybe meet a girl in colorado (HAHA) bc I realized I couldn’t live w myself if I hurt you. Since I couldn’t decide on how I felt, you suggested we kiss. I honestly got so scared. I didn’t want our first kiss to be awkward and forced. But I also was afraid if I felt nothing in the kiss, it would hurt me or worse, you. I realized it was kinda a mistake and I really should have but by then, you were on your flight to colorado.

That Friday night/Saturday morning I called you. In tears. You were out to dinner w your whole team but made time for me. I cried about a douche that tried to get w me and I was honestly upset he didn’t wanna be friends after I said no. It was stupid but I was drunk and just couldn’t understand the situation. You cared mostly about whether or not he touched me in any way I didn’t want him to and once you found out I was safe and okay, you comforted me in the fact that you would be home soon and everything would be okay. That was enough for me to fall asleep

You returned from colorado saturday afternoon. I was really excited to see you esp after you sent me a snap saying “*winky emoji* tonight” and then never showed. Your excuse? “was tipsy yesterday”

That was the first time you lied to me and cancelled.

WEEK 6:

You suggested we get sushi that night after your business pitch meeting that “shouldn’t take long” and I was beyond excited. I love sushi. But then you had to cancel on dinner bc your meeting went too long and once you were free I wasn’t. But you didn’t even cancel on me did you. No I had to figure it out myself.

That was the second time you cancelled.

But ig it wasn’t that big of a deal bc you asked me to come up that night and somehow I ended up sleeping over again. We had class the next day and from some miscommunication, I ended up walking to class alone. You thought I said something else besides meeting up and when I asked why you didn’t just ask to clarify, you said “cuz actions speak louder than words?” “And what were your actions” “Too just keep laying there with you?”

You even suggested we have a cuddle sesh. The next day, I even met your sister and you bought me bubble tea. I gotta say it was nice. I could see us doing that more in the future.

Then the next night, you invited me to the hockey house. And then last minute you cancelled and said it wouldn’t be fun. I waited the whole night for this party and I was so disappointed. So my roommate (V) and I went to pi kap instead. Then we went to delta sig where I saw your friend (D). We took pictures together and decided to walk back to race together. We were originally gonna meet you on the lawn but it was so cold outside I called and told you we would be waiting on the couch. You immediately got really angry, frantically asking what couch (you assumed the one in my room) but I only meant the couch in the lobby.

This was the first time you got jealous. But not the first time you got salty. The most salty I’ve ever seen you.

The three of us walked to get my roommate from (U) and then we walked to get pizza. I made casual conversation w (D) and you just sulked behind us not talking to anyone. At one point (D) saw someone he knew and when he stopped to talk to them, you pulled my arm and said “let’s go, he’ll catch up later”. At the pizza place, I was looking out the window for (D) to make sure he was coming and you said “whatever. Who care’s where (D) is”. When we left the pizza shop, you didn’t leave w us and when I asked, you said “I wanna stay here”. I had to basically babysit you the entire way home, your mood only lightening up when (D) went back to his room. I got out of the elevator on my floor w my roommate (V) and you reached out to me and said “where are you going?” I said “to my room to eat my pizza?” You replied “maybe I’ll see you later tonight”. I honestly didn’t want to. You were acting so weird all night and I just wanted to eat my pizza and sleep. But then later you texted “so you don’t want to hang out with me?” And I knew it wouldn’t be good if I didn’t come up so I did. When I walked into your room, you had your head in your hands and it sounded like you were crying when we talked. You kept mumbling something about (D) and leaving you to go dance w him. It was so funny bc it obviously wasn’t what I wanted. But you couldn’t see that. You were too blinded by your jealousy. I then tried to put you to bed and you kept throwing salty comments at me but I knew you were drunk and upset so I just let them all slide. You asked me why I wasn’t getting into bed w you when I tucked you in and I told you I wanted to sleep in my bed but you weren’t having it. You were so convinced I was going to leave you for (D) after you went to sleep. HA.

The next night, we had our third talk. And in that, I basically friend zoned you. I didn’t think I could deal w how clingy you were the night before and this was all before we were even dating. I told you I was so busy and I didn’t have enough time for a relationship and that it wouldn’t be fair to you.

WEEK 7:

The next two days after our talk, you were really salty at me. I asked you to go on a walk w me and you said no. I asked you to go to dinner and you said you just left. Finally after you asked to hang not so well “what you up too” *3 mins pass* “fuck it nvm”. We ended up watching stranger things and cuddling, so ig it worked kinda well. We even had a cuddle sesh the next night too, even tho I was sick. I hadn’t eaten anything all day and decided I should at least drink a smoothie but going out into the cold wasn’t a good idea for me so you memorized my order and actually got dressed to walk out into the cold just to get a smoothie for me. My heart swelled. How were you such a good guy. I didn’t think I deserved you and you were so whipped for me.

WEEK 8: where things start going downhill

You said we couldn’t hang out anymore or cuddle bc “I teased you too much”. Okay can I just say, while we were cuddling, I didn’t understand why your dick was OUT OF YOUR PANTS. That’s not a thing!!!

This weekend, we hung out friday night and I fully thought we were gonna sleep together. And when we woke up? I was gonna ask you out. But of course things never happen as they should. You were really salty that night when I said I would go back out to another party, you said “just go. Idk what you’re still doing here” I stayed in w you, for you. And when I was ready for bed, you said I’m gonna sleep here tonight. Even tho there were ppl fucking in your room. Why couldn’t we sleep in my bed? Bc you wanted to sleep in yours. That’s such bullshit.

That is the third time you cancelled. And the worst time of all.

The next night, we met up outside of our building and I thought we were just gonna go up to your room, but instead you took us to the hockey house to play flip cup. I was surprisingly really good. We even had a 1v1 and I beat your ass haha. If I wasn’t already drunk before, I definitely was now. But I still remember everything that happened that night. We played more flip cup and even did some dancing together. I love dancing, I can’t believe it took us 8 weeks to dance together. Can’t say you’re too bad at it either. Also, can I just say leading up to tonight, you have always respected my boundaries and not tried to push me to do anything I didn’t want to. You never forced yourself onto me or kissed me when I didn’t want it. While you’ve made the situations, going the 90%, you ALWAYS waited for me to put in that last 10% when I was ready. That was something I really respected about you. Tonight was kinda the same, while we were dancing, you did try and kiss me but instead I asked what the hell last night was about, you not wanting to sleep w me. You said “can we talk about this later” and I just went on dancing and you moved on. I ended up talking to this guy that went to PSU since my best friend goes there and I was asking him about their parties. I noticed you eyeing us, so I included you into the conversation but if anything that just made you more salty and we left almost immediately after that. On the walk home, I asked you again about last night. For some reason you seemed really hesitant but we pinky promised to tell the whole truth. You said “I don't understand what we are. Normal ppl don’t just cuddle as much as we do and it never leads to anything. We haven’t even had our first kiss yet!” So I kissed you. Under the tree next to the parking lot outside our building. “What I only get one kiss” And I kissed you again.

Honestly I expect a kiss to have fireworks and be amazing. All the other guys I’ve kissed, there has been nothing in the kiss. But with you, I felt something more. Not fireworks and the whole shabang, but I did feel a little spark. Maybe it just needed more time. After all we only knew each other for 8 weeks.

But then as we stood under our building roof, you holding both my hands bc it was cold and it also made it more intimate and dramatic, you said that you needed more from me. You wanted to fuck me. “Don’t use that word tho (fuck), it’s not the only thing I want from you. I also want a relationship”. But I had told you already, I’m not having sex until marriage to which you replied “I know you’re a good Christian girl. But 10 years is a long time. What if it’s in the moment tho? What about true love”

Whoa whoa whoa. What about true love??? We’ve known each other for 8 years. You can’t be serious. You can’t be saying you love me..can you? So I asked you “do you love me?”

“I like you a lot and I feel really comfortable around you”

“I feel comfortable around other ppl but it doesn’t mean I love them. Do you love me? Yes or no”

“Yes I do”

WOW what a truth bomb.

But by the end of the night, it’s agreed that we have differences of opinion and one of us has to decide. There’s no compromise here and I’m not folding on what I believe. So if he truly likes me so much, loves me, he needs to decide he’s not having sex, not having sex w me. He asks for some time to thing about it and I tell him of course, he should think it through. But I’m not worried. Sex is such a little thing. It shouldn’t be a deal breaker, esp if he likes me so much.

The night before thanksgiving break, we’re playing Kings in your room and the card is never have I ever. Your roommate (C) goes “never have I ever waited until marriage”

Ouch. What hurt even more? When someone asked (C) why he said that, he replied “I wanted Liz to drink”

So you told your roommates something extremely private about me, and then they used it against me. That’s fucking messed up.

I talked to you about it the next morning before I left for break and you apologized for him. You said it was never your intention to hurt me and I knew that was the truth. I willingly forgave you.

Throughout thanksgiving break, the time apart makes me realize I like you more and more. I can’t wait for us to talk after break bc then we can finally start going on dates and seeing what the future has in store for us.

#story #girl #drama #boys #college #storytime #crush