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moonshynecybin · 1 month

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fco ‼️‼️

okay damn!! short fic (1kish) for forced coming out au set near the end of the story when vale has realized some THINGS ! (not everything. especially about marc's feelings for him...) and they ARE fucking again... which of course is righttttt when hondayamaha PR are like. okay you two can break up now ! and vale's like yall mind if i fall on this sword real quick. would that be fun.

“So, we think that at the end of the season you two should be in the clear to go your separate ways, we’ve built out a separation schedule for you both to use, and emailed it to you and Marc as well. As long as you keep it relatively civil after that, we think we can call the last year a success.”

“This is—“ Vale flips the page back over, finished with it. He looks back at the bland smile of the PR person. She's very nice.

He hates her.

But he knew what this was, going in. It shouldn’t surprise him when he’s reminded of what it’s not.

He gestures at the folder in front of him, smile still easy on his face, his pulse rabbiting anxiously in his throat. He asks for clarification. Finds he needs it, badly.

“This is permission to stop? To break up?”

“Yes!” She says cheerfully, like it’s exciting, and Vale knew that was probably going to be her answer, but he still feels like he’s been cut off at the knees, cold water trickling it’s way down his spine. He digs his nails into one of his palms, making sure his expression doesn’t change.

She keeps speaking.

“You two have done an incredible job, and we got together with the PR team at Honda,” She gestures at Marc, somewhere to the left of Vale’s elbow. “And they agree. After the season ends you can start to move apart. You can put it all behind you.”

Like it never happened, Vale hears, and he twitches.

He should have expected this, but he didn’t. He thought that it would be up to Marc and him, when they wanted to call things off. That they could keep up this equilibrium that had the two of them balancing on an edge as sharp as a razor. Push and pull, living in anticipation of a deadline that some part of him thought would never come.

Like it never happened.

What was his relationship with Marc before all this? He knows it well enough, created most of it. The shape that it took, those last few months of the season. All the resentment. What he did to it. The way Marc had folded in on himself for weeks.

He’s only started to act like himself again recently, open and happy with the press, with Vale.

What would it look like, returning to what it was? What would it feel like, to pretend it never happened?

He scratches at the side of his face. He wants to vomit. He doesn't. He shifts a little, glances over at Marc beside him for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. He needs more information on how to react, which way to spin this, where Marc might be, when he thinks about a life without Vale.

And Marc isn’t necessarily hard to read, at this point, though there are nuances that he can— and has—missed. Álex, for instance, always seems to know, seems to have a handle on the degrees of Marc’s smile, the tone of his laugh, when he’s upset or not. But Vale is a more recent student. Has only found it necessary to apply himself this last year or so, obsessing over the angle of his eyebrows and the lines around his mouth, the way he forms his words. The timbre of his voice. Anything to perform better, to gauge how he’s feeling, to perfect the picture, find out what Vale can do for him. A catalog of Marc.

And right now— Marc’s back is ramrod straight, unnaturally so. He is fidgeting with his hands.

No part of him is touching Vale.

Vale’s stomach bottoms out, he flicks his eyes back to the page in front of him. Thinks. Reviews.

His face, just now. The slight pinch of his posture. The inches between their bodies.

Vale had pressed his knee against him earlier. He must have moved away, sometime in the course of the conversation.

Vale glances back.

Marc looks serious, like he’s staring down the beginning of a race. His face is calm, remote, and the PR lady doesn’t seem to notice, but Vale sees the cracks show through. A stark contrast to the way he was last week, sprawled out in the sheets of Vale’s bed, loose and relaxed, the sun playing on the muscles of his back. Vale had licked a hot stripe up his spine, and Marc had shivered, ticklish. When Vale had placed a hand against the spaces of his ribs, he had laughed, and Vale could feel it against his hand. Had pressed his nose to the warmth of Marc’s skin, breathing deep. Had almost let himself think it was something he could keep.

But here and now, there’s none of that, erased in the gray light of the conference room. Marc’s shoulders have inched their way up around his ears, and he’s jittery, frenetic, picking at his cuticles. His jaw jumps when Vale speaks, brittle, like he’s bracing for something. A hit, maybe. A crash. Marc hasn’t looked this way in months. Since— Probably since Sepang, last year. Maybe Qatar, this season, before that first press conference. Staring down the field of cameras ahead of him.

A thought occurs to Vale, sudden and sickening.

He must be nervous about the breakup. Worried about the media backlash. Vale’s fans. About what people will do to them if they decide Vale hates him again. About going back to that.

Vale thumbs at the paper edge of timeline, stares at the logical sequence of steps. Plan for the Dissolution of Relationship, he reads in clinical font. Calculated to let them both get out of this with minimal damage, please the advertisers. An amicable break up. Mutual, they’ll call it.

But Vale was listening earlier, and he knows it’s not good enough— doesn’t do enough to ease the way. It'll just set them back where they were in the off-season, when Marc was losing sponsors and everyone knew that a photo of him on his knees might be enough to keep him off the bike for good. All because of Vale. And he can’t— that’s not an option.

“What if I'm seen out with someone else, at a bar or a club?” He says, and the eyebrow of the PR lady shoots up. “Would that make it cleaner for us?”

She tilts her head, considering it. Infuriatingly placid. Vale wants to scream.

“Well, you would certainly be in the tabloids again for a few days, and you’d have to be careful not to be too public about it, but–” She ends it by giving him a knowing glance that makes him feel like live ants are crawling under his skin. He doesn’t want to be seen with anyone else. He wants— “That would send a message! If you think it would make things simpler and faster, we won’t stop you if you want to do it.”

“Two weeks you said?” Vale interrupts, before she can open up the conversation any more. He needs to know how long he has left, how long Marc will— how long before he has to see Marc with anyone else. How long he can expect to be able to roll over in the middle of the night and watch him breathe. Count his lashes until he falls back to sleep.

And two weeks is—that’s. That's no time at all. That's a blink, a heartbeat. And Marc will be able to leave, like he wanted to at the beginning, and it’ll go back to how it was. In the off-season, when they weren’t talking.

The world feels distant and immediate all at once, and Vale can see the future stretch out ahead of him—polite smiles on podiums. Spraying champagne anywhere but at each other. Bland platitudes about respect in press conferences. Pretending that he hasn’t seen the freckles on Marc’s back play against his eyelids every time he's closed his eyes since Phillip Island last year

“Two weeks, yes, and then you two can go your separate ways.” She says, and Marc shifts beside him. He hasn’t pulled further away, hasn’t put any more space between the two of them, but he’s being very quiet. Deliberately so. Cards close to his chest, clamming up like he does, like he did when Vale confronted him after Sepang. When he told him he’d only be remembered for that. They’ve both made sure that’s not the case, now.

Vale leans back in his chair and lets their arms brush, trying to get a read on him, do something— and Marc’s drawn like a bowstring, the muscle of his bicep so taught against Vale’s it feels inorganic—steel or brick. Something hard and immovable. Vale doesn’t look at him, doesn’t want to see his face. That would feel like open heart surgery.

Marc will be okay without him. He was always going to go, competition was always going to find a way between them. But he’s just like Vale, was born to ride a bike, and Vale can’t—won’t— let himself be the reason Marc is getting torn apart by the press again. Won’t let himself be the reason Marc can’t be in the paddock. Can’t be on the track, getting in Vale’s way.

He can’t be the reason this is all Marc gets remembered for.

He takes a deep breath.

“I can find someone by then.” He says.

And he feels Marc shift, and pull away from him completely.

#the arrogance coming off vale STILL lol. marc like you left me. AGAIN?? vale like i was being noble!!!!#this isnt in line with the intial conception of this fic BUT. im havin fun. what if vale was real stupid. trying to protect marc #but still not entirely conceptualizing what was so hurtful about sepang... it wasnt JUST the media. idiot.#motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #forced coming out au #my fic #it really is like marc is not physically in his lap the entire convo and vale freaks out so bad he detonated the entire thing….

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