#and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH COVID

[milkweedman]

I made a spicy vegetable miso soup with lots of ginger to try and fix what ails me and honestly 10/10. Works every time

#cooking #it also just tastes great which is nice bc almost nothing tastes even ok #am used to everything tasting like ash or cardboard or straight up nothing since the last covid #so when something actually has a taste and its good !! so nice #energy levels are 0 out of 1 million tho. and so many things to do #always get sick at the worst times

[belligerentbagel]

even Atlas has only two hands

vent art

#this one's for all the teachers out there #horror cw #hands cw #draws #after 2.5 years of caution and masking everywhere; i tested positive for covid on wednesday morning (first day of fall semester) 😔 #at earliest; i can be back in the classroom on monday #wednesday itself was an absolutely horrible 24 hours (but admittedly the anatomist side of me has been going 'ah! physiological data!') #but thursday and friday were a grim indicator of how much capitalism has rotted my brain #because after getting through 24 hours of a MASSIVE illness with undetermined long-term effects; i felt compelled to return to the #6-hr-sleep 18-hr-waking cycle that i was accustomed to; out of GUILT for falling behind in work #(note: i was NOWHERE near 100% back on thursday. i could have charitably been put at 50% - still headaches & fatigue & productive coughs) #a friend had to very sternly tell me 'you cannot solve structural problems through constant 80-hour-week heroic measures' #'you especially cannot do this when you are recovering from a debilitating illness which has the potential to remain a - #- serious lingering problem if you overwork yourself' #like. gods. yeah. it's not my fault that my classrooms are stuffed to the student maximum that our union has valiantly maintained #it's not my fault that the district only gave us one pre-semester prep day; meaning that my room & plans were left unfinished before day one #and - even bigger; it's not my fault that public health in the US is careening into 'can we pretend hard enough like nothing's happening' #my students will have a milquetoast start this fall semester. that is fine. #their teacher might not be able to stand and talk for longer than ten minutes at a time #i will do what i can. i still care about them. i am reading their introduction emails and smiling a bunch. #but i refuse to allow myself to be consumed in order to keep this fire lit.

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[icewindandboringhorror]

A very interesting cloud formation!

#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0 #Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol #I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share #(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic) #I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out #spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions #that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is #in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these #vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a #big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor #or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr... #Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me #was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives #a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f #ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone #around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in #terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again #I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if #so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term #issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm #already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I #hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows #like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo #even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA #Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED #to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire #time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain #myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance #I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an #people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T

[arsenicflame]

THE OIL SLICK - FRIGHTENED RABBIT

#i have been feeling so normal about these lyrics recently #honestly just the words dont do it justice the MUSIC is what makes it hit so hard #the whole song building up to this. mr frightened rabbit i love u #frightened rabbit #lyrics #the oil slick #pedestrian verse #this song was released in 2013 so it has nothing to do w covid but it does hit different now #but even as a mental health commentary #we still have hope. so i think ill be fine.

[widevibratobitch]

my grandma had another heart attack today so they took her to the hospital and turns out. she has covid.

my mom had visited her today.

im currently chilling on the couch next to my mom.

watching outlander.

so uhh. @ black jack randall. if you're seeing this....... i really do think i hauve covid.

#WHAT. ARE. THE. FUCKING. ODDS #anyway. nothing more i can do about it now. might as well finish the episode #the funniest thing is that my mom's husband has severe lung cancer so if my mom indeed did catch covid. and now he catches it. #well. yikes. at least i know he did update his will recently and my mom. not his lil bitch of a sister. is getting all of it #slay ig

[zaritarazi]

the legends of tomorrow fandom really is so special to me. who else, when they see that i'm feeling sad, would go out of their way to start coming after tala & maisie for not being genocide supporters? in defense of caity? the most unemployed woman alive??? it's like, who else would want to distract me so fully, get my heart rate up so fast, besides the scum of the earth zionists that have always grown like pernicious fungus in the dark cracks of the legends fandom?

that have only ever seen their judaism as a token in identity politics?

who else but these despicable freaks with no real connection to actual judaism (otherwise they wouldn't be following a christian doctrine) would go out of their way to put themselves in my sights like this? who else wants a beating that badly? they've really had all their dreams come true. they've gotten an excuse to be mask-off racist, to finally express their active prejudice with the kind of selfish oblivion that only someone truly obsessed with social currency could accomplish. and they can try and say "well jews are in danger" as some kind of excuse. the only danger you're in is from me, under your fucking bed (for the purposes of comedy and entertainment).

it's the solipsism, it's the racism, it's the tone-deafness. truly, three paragons of zionism, absolutely exemplified by the leeches of the caity fans in the legends fandom - the only really active ones left, of course, because she cannot get a fucking job.

like i've been sitting here for about a year and a half like, it's not appropriate for me to point out that these toxic-positivity pinkwashers are true zionists through and through, in that they really do just lie about every aspect of themselves, in that they send nasty, despicable, islamophobic things to tala and then say they love the whole cast and the whole show.

i've been like, now is not the time to bring that into this. but they really turned out for me! they said to me "hey, rachel. we can see you're down. would you like to stomp on our necks to feel better?" and like, nothing is going to make me feel better about an ongoing genocide. but it's certainly helping my cardio. and i guess that's something

edit: i've been told these bitches got covid. and i want to say i never doubted me for a fucking second

#lot wank #antizionism #lot fandom wank #oh my gd. i'll be riding the high of all of you getting covid forever. thanks for that you talentless cunts #anti caity lotz #how are you gonna defend her she only has the politics of the man she's fucked last like. she stands for nothing. and i guess neither do yo #and you're currently not standing. you're laying down. bc you all got covid

[noirandchocolate]

I may have futzed around with regular and EX non-story missions/vicious monsters too much before finishing the main Age of Calamity storyline missions.

Allies: Oh god oh no there's a Malice Hinox in the courtyard!!!

Zelda: *runs in, puts a light ring on it, does her special* No there's not.

Blood Moon: *rises*

Allies: *collective screaming* THE MONSTERS ALL CAME BACK ALIVE?

Zelda, Link, Impa, and Rhoam: *about 3 minutes later* No they didn't.

#kidk says stuff #legend of zelda #age of calamity #it's not my fault!! i had covid and had to play by myself for like two weeks and i don't do story missions without my gf! #malice enemies are as nothing to zelda. i did the EX guardian of remembrance mission and she wiped the floor with astor. whoops!! #see also: i got kohga and looked away for 5 seconds and suddenly he was level 65. i didn't realize i gave him a weapon with ++ to exp lol #me: man these yiga boys get levels like a motherfucker. they need better weapons tho. *looks at weapons' seals* oh! ha ha. i do thaaaat.

[neige-leblanche]

eggs and ramen with eppy 💜

#txt #kinda happy rn bc i just send a card to my sister & i have done like Nothing the past few days (sick with Probably Covid so can't go out #anywhere) and the eggs came out really nice 🥹 just gotta keep on keepin on #the thing was just that i havent had a fever or been bedridden yet (mom has been testing & she's been negative w the same symptoms of me) #*as #& have been really low energy anyway so ive gotten barely anything done #even though i do have some low energy tasks that i could have done so im mad at myself for that

[bluecookiesabi]

You ever feel like you'll never find romantic love in your life

#cookie talks #just. thinking about how my older brother is married and my older sister is engaged #and how my longest relationship was like. 5 months and half of that time was spent long distance bc covid lockdown happened #like. that was 4 years ago. fuck. #and my relationship before that was maybe a month and a half #i just. idk man. ive had like. crushes and stuff and ive tried dating apps occasionally but nothing has ever stuck #and i do love my friends and appreciate them and platonic love is amazing. but sometimes. sometimes i want romantic love too. #it doesn't help that i have the whole 'i want to move out of the country' thing looming over my head so i feel guilty for wanting a #romantic interest bc of the complications that would bring. i feel like im not allowed to have any until after that happens

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

skipping class for the first time in my life bc my professor has covid and he sent out an email saying we’re having class and he’s asymptomatic and will wear a mask per cdc guidelines even tho he’s past the 5 day required isolation period. like. great whatevs but have you actually tested negative

update: the answer was no he had not

#stressed as FUCK #it’s fine we have a textbook and he doesn’t take roll #hoping he doesn’t do an extra credit activity but if i miss it for the sake of my health so be it #i have to go home afterwards anyway bc i have an appointment the next day with my thyroid dr #stressed abt that too bc my mum has dropped all precautions as if she isn’t in her 60s and didn’t lose her husband to covid #and idk what my sibling is doing but i know they’ve stopped masking at their practices and i wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped masking #all together. they also only wear cloth masks but at least it was something #idk i just feel like im the only one not ignoring it. like. when my dad got sick i asked him early on if he could smell and he was like #‘I’m just congested’ and my mum was like ‘no he’s just sick it’s not covid’ and then we waited until it was too late #like. i tell my mum that there’s nothing we could have done bc i don’t want her to feel guilty but like #idk. part of me thinks that if people had just listened to me and gotten him tested earlier and not lived in denial that maybe he’d still be #here. and my mum is pretty healthy but again she’s in her 60s. i don’t want to lose another parent to covid. or if she gets it and has it #bad or ends up with long covid then im gonna have to come home to take care of her or. idek. like i don’t live at home anymore so i can’t #pick up the slack if something happens to her. and my sibling definitely can’t #it’s so stressful. did we not watch the same process of my dad rapidly deteriorating. by the time we took him to the hospital he looked like #a corpse. he was completely grey and his eyes were glazed and he couldn’t even sit up or wave goodbye. has she just forgotten that happened #am i the only one who remembers watching my dad deteriorate in front of us #vent tw #covid tw

[kabutone]

ppl that still wear a mask regularly you are more punk than anyone else

extra points if you’re in a really shitty area where there’s a bunch of anti maskers/anti vaxxers/overall shitty people around. you are extra more punk than anyone else

and ppl engaging in any kind of community care u are more punk than anyone else it’s about love and care babey!!!!!!

#was talking w a friend who so much braver than i #you WILL care about other ppl #anyway when the gov is pushing deadly misinfo it is NOT punk to just go along with that shit. stand up against it #i know a lot of ppl feel social pressure to not mask bc nobody else is but daring to be brave and stand out should be the norm for u #don’t fall in w the normies dare to be different and care for others. esp if nobody else is #and when i see other queer ppl who don’t mask it’s like.. hey man! did you know a disease wiped out a huge chunk of us in the 80s? #the gov said it was a ‘gay disease’ and of course they wanted gay people to die so they did nothing. they let us die #now that covid has become a ‘only disabled people disease’ do you think it’s ok for the gov to do this again? #i see other hawaiians not masking or even PROUDLY being anti vax #and again i’m like hey man! did you know hawaiians almost completely died out bc of foreign disease? #our land was illegally annexed bc so many hawaiians had died there were too little to fight back! do you think more of us should die? #i’ve heard ppl say if you don’t mask you’re not a leftist and that’s true but it also applies to so many different identities and cultures #it’s like if you claim to care about the earth but you litter on the beach. like do you really care if you can’t do the bare minimum #anyway. if u see this and u need high quality masks literally DM me and i will send you some

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[emdotcom]

If i was the twin towers, I woulda just dodged.

#em.txt #9/11 ment #hey. I'm not actually sorry because this is funny to me #& now you get to hear why. #9/11 had way fewer fucking casualties than so many wars & i get that shit was traumatic & to those who were around & especially young for it #I'm sure it was a scary uncertain time. but i was not around for it. i was a fucking infant with ZERO memories. & they tried for years #to drill into my head that it was the saddest most horrible tragedy in human history. but i didn't see it #& what have i seen? larger tragedies go ignored because we can't use them to inspire patriotism #& because they are happening to dark skinned people &/or are being done by the government #the casualties for 9/11? just under 3k. the casualties to covid? 7 million & rising. #while government officials do NOTHING because it would cost money #but I'm supposed to give a shit about the plane crash that happened Before I Was Even Sentient? #this event has been used to bully & harass & justify racist shit SO MUCH for decades now #it's stupid & you fucking know it. anyways. i woulda just leaned out of the way of the plane if i was that tower

[pc-98s]

hey nobody told me that myGO is doing some wild spoken word art rock shit

#THE FIRST SINGLE WAS JUST JPOP THEY FAKED ME OUT SO HARD #im finally watching mygo anime because my ass has covid and nothing better to do #and god DAMN those girls can emotion #bandori

[thethingything]

had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time #and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed #and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't #and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do #and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued #so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out #also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick #the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit #and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it #dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed #I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once #like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress #and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious #I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life