#and ive always *wanted* to talk about it but it was just so scary to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

delightfuldevin · 1 year

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I read your Mario Lore/Headcanons dump fic on AO3 and it was!!!! SO GOOD!!!!!! And so cool???? The Luma Luma life cycle the Stars being gods the inclusion of the Thunder and Fire dudes from Super star Saga, the Power up list, but mostly the Mushroom/Koopa kingdom backstories!!! Thousands of years of war ended because some guys were bad parents! Amazing!!

It was so well explained I couldn't for so long think of any questions for you because I understood it so well you wrote it all so clear and understandable I feel like I just pulled a History Book off a self in Peach's Library it's sooo coooooooool

Anyway tell me about the Borealis Kingdom!! What happened to it? Was Rosalina just a citizen or royalty? What were the people like? Any information you have on it I'm sooooo curious!

“I feel like I just pulled a History Book off a shelf in Peach’s Library” IS PROBABLY THE MOST AMAZING AND WONDERFUL COMPLIMENT I’VE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE???? THANK YOU!!!! Like!!! That means so so soooo much to me!! This world is practically my home and all the stuff I make up about it is essentially me trying to have a deeper and cohesive understanding of it and that just makes me feel very *incoherent babbling and squealing while shaking my hands*

Okay anyway about the Borealis Kingdom!! Rosalina was the princess! Her parents were King Vega and Queen Rosetta (yes I stole that from Rosie’s Japanese name nxbcjscbs), and I don’t have a name for her brother yet rip x^x. I don’t have much info on the people themselves, just that they worshipped the Stars and made ritual wishes to them frequently. The kingdom fell shortly after Rosalina was called into space. Like, probably within a decade or so.

The relations between the Borealis and Koopa Kingdoms were neutral for the most part. They weren’t enemies, though they didn’t consider each other allies either. Tensions could’ve easily rose at any time, but it never happened. During this time, the Fire God was still active in the Koopa Kingdom, so the Koopas were perfectly content with life and showed no interest in relations with other kingdoms.

Goombas and Toads are both native to the Borealis Kingdom and its surrounding areas, but their populations only began to grow substantially following the kingdom’s fall.

…And that’s all I’ve got! I don’t have too much info on pre-modern era stuff, but I hope you enjoy this small amount of info nonetheless ^^”

#answered the thing #super mario headcanons #i cannot express enough how happy it makes me that you enjoyed my lore fic!!#when i say i was overprotective of my hcs i mean veeeeeery overprotective #like i’ve kept adding stuff to this world for nearly a decade but i’ve always been scared to share any of it #theres something so terribly vulnerable about sharing this world with others that i cannot really explain??#and its not even like this is an au or anything this is just. my actual canon of how i see the games #and ive always *wanted* to talk about it but it was just so scary to me #sorry to rant in the tags lol but all of this is to say that #for this being my very first time sharing something so deeply important to me #it means a whole lot to get such an enthusiastic and encouraging response from someone!!#so thank you very much for your interest it truly means so much to me

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princekirijo · 10 months

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Mordred as a persona is so refreshing for me to draw because while I put a lot of thought into other persona designs with Mordred I just went "big dark half rotten dragon :]" and ran with it

#oc tag #literally just me saying fuck the rules and having fun #by rules i mean general design conventions + my own rules lol #whenever im really pissed off about something i draw him its so cathartic #its also really fun because ive always wanted to draw dragons but never knew how #so im kinda learning through him and its really fun making inner child me happy u know #you could argue that mordred not looking like a persona is like deliberate cause his awakening is unnatural #but eh whatever hes really just self indulgent #ive been thinking a lot about him and black mask lately ngl #id love the share the new design with ye but honestly most of these sketches im doing are for me and me alone so #sorry u guys know i love talking about my persona designs and im just not having a good time rn so #ramble about the big scary dragon persona time it is ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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shxtodxroki · 1 year

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God I'm gonna miss this place

#{🔇} - bee vents #like. im not saying that im gonna peak in high school or anything #but these past 4 years #especially my senior year #have been so fun #I met so many amazing people and Ive had so much fun #Im sitting in math rn cracking up and realizing that after monday ill never have this experience again #and an old friend contacted me today and gave me 2 really meaningful things even though we havent talked much in years #and another old friend and I have been in contact recently with graduation coming up #its just #all hitting me suddenly that all this amazing stuff is gonna end #idk how many of these people ill be able to keep in contact with even though I really want to #life just doesnt always work out and i know that but it doesnt make me any less sad #i still have one day left after today so im gonna try and enjoy it #i just got hit with all of this all of a sudden and i cried over it earlier even thiugh ive been trying not to cry about all of this yet #idk i feel like my thoughts are really jumbled #everythings just changing all at once and its really scary and hard to come to terms with #after monday ill never be a kid again. ill have college and real adult responsibilities #:/

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computerpeople · 1 year

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my mom got very very drunk yesterday and she's an aggressive drunk, not physically but it amplifies her anger and irritation by like 6, and she's already a very very explosive and volatile woman. she got in a fight with her boyfriend and was screaming and drove off to the middle of nowhere and that's why my sister called and im so proud of her for reaching out and asking me to call, and i think she is too, she said she wants to call me more for sure and wants to ask more, and that she felt a lot better after we called. that feels good for me, even if im worrying about it now, at her age i didn't have anyone to turn to or call, so im glad i get to be that for her. i fucking hate my parents man

#my mom is so.#shes just not well man. she isn't healthy #neither is my dad.#working on myself away from them has gotten so scary because. holy shit. holy shit they are. like. broken people. not in the sad way but #like in a 'how how the fuck did you get this far in life without dying. how. how did you fucking do that'#my dad aparently hates his job and wants to quit because and i quote 'the teenage workers wont clean up after themselves'#and now he 'has to' deal with that at home AND at work #and i swear hes makingf it up in his head because literally he is a hoarder and insane and expected all of us to keep the house with him in #it cleaned without him actually putting in any effort. so i assume thats what happening at his job too but thats so baffling because its li #llike how are you a grown man fucking acting like this at your minimum wage job #how .#youre fucking inane #anyways everyones scared he might kill himself too so now ive gotta worry abotu BOTH parents killing themself #and even when i moved he was lkike we need to talk about where my moneys going if i die before youre twenty four #and of course i was like. huh!? i dont think youre going to...?#and he was like yeah we just gotta make sure though #HUH?!#but i assumed thats bexcause fucking everyone has us brainwashed that hes going to die of a heart attack #i brought that up with my sister too i was like. i swear its not even a real threat but everyones always freaking out about it but hes #literally never had heart problems and has fantastic blood tests other than slightly high cholestoral. its literally just because my step #moms dad died of a heart attack and she proojected it onto him and said i was going to give him one #and now my entire family is convinced thats how hes going to die #but my sister said my mom took her to my dads house at one point and he didnt answer the doorbell for HOURS #he was asleep but while drivbing away my mom was like 'phew i thought we were going to walk in on him dead'#BROOO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO YOUR 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH OCD AND PTSD FUCK OFFFFFF #I HATE YOU #txt

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s0fter-sin · 1 year

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sometimes i remember our official government funded anti drink driving campaign motto is “drink driving? selfish prick”

#our drink driving ads are brutal #same with the speeding ones #but we know our people so well that some pretentious after school special shit wouldnt work on us so they just went fuck it dial it up to 11 #like simulating accidents where they kill kids and show weeping mothers seeing their son under a sheet type shit #and a deiver wandering through a crash all fucked up and bloody as he tries to make excuses but turns out hes dead #they do not hold that shit back #and good that they dont #ve lost two people in car crashes i dont want to lose any more #weve always been full on with our ads #the smoking ones were fucked #where they squeezed out all the gunk and shit in a real artery to show how much it clogs you up #i dont think they play that one anymore #probably bc of how fucked it was #but i remember my mum talking about the aids awareness ads about the grim reaper coming after people and how scary it was #we just dont pull any punches in this country #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #straya #australia

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our-lady-of-mcr · 24 days

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yet again wondering when ill realize that certain people do not change and are always going to try to fuck me up ):

#self #basically this friend i have who is....an enigma #we have had like 3 or 4 falling outs bc shes a fucking psychopath and loses her shit a few times a year since ive known her #anyways last night she came at me WRECKLESS claiming shes been told i said some horrible ass shit about her that i Literally Did Not #and she said some mean ass shit to me #anyways....i keep trying to pretend like its not effecting me but like....no it fucking sucks to have someone you were incredibly close with #just decide theyre going to believe other people over you #she was being so mean and i made it so ungodly obvious that i dont feel negatively about her and that i genuinely just wish her well #and everyone ive talked to about it that knows her just keeps trying to get me to block her and all say the same hateful stuff they always #used to when it comes to her...which trust me at this point i fucking get it #but i hate that i still want to defend her after she refused to listen to me and basically called me a charity case #fun fact cunt!! i actually have other friends and people who genuinely want me around meanwhile besides me all you have is friends who have #told me they think you are literally dangerous and scary and you have your mom and shitty fiance and your god damn baby #but sure im the fucking charity case #im also just....i am too fucking old for this shit and shes even older than me and has a god damn kid like im begging you just mature a bit #not to god damn mention she blamed every single one of her problems on me NEWSFLASH no i didnt sister #that was all you and your doing!!!#anyways sorry for the rant and god bless anyone who read these tags i am So Sorry

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frankenfran · 4 months

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oh don't worry, im one of the "chill" trans women. im one of the good ones. i guess im the only trans woman in this group of friends, so i have to set a good example. you think trans women are mean? sorry, ill be more of a pushover to try and fix that. am i being too pushy? im sorry. yeah, i just want to be a normal girl. ive never met those bad trans women you're talking about but. i guess i shouldn't be like them if i ever want to have friends. hmm? why am i single? oh, dating is scary for trans women... im sorry i didn't mean to imply trans women have it harder, i just meant... im sorry. am i being too loud? am i taking up too much space? im sorry. i was just excited, ill try not to laugh so loud next time. im sorry. im so glad i got to meet another trans woman for once, she was really nice. what? oh, you didn't like her? you thought she was creepy? im sorry, i didn't know... i won't talk to her again. desire? i have none. sense of self? whatever you find acceptable. what's my type? what you've deemed appropriate. why do i always look so sad? im sorry, ill try to smile more. ill be good.

#thinking about the primordial times

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lavender---sunshine · 1 year

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Im on hour 24 of this migraine and have stopped focusing on pain management type solutions and I'm looking more into how to let the unending pain fuel me to commit atrocities I would be too cowardly to otherwise

#face hurts disease #I had a really scary moment yesterday where i couldn't read or talk #im fine now but i have an exit interview today and will not be able to get as like ...angry as I want #the pain isnt behind my eye anymore and im looking forward to the pop! of no pain + euphoria after #i was with my friend all day yesterday and she watched me burst into tears #close my eyes all day. slur my words. complain about how it hurts #and i told my mom about the aphasia and she was like go to the doctor????#tell me why my first reaction was...no honestly it wasnt that bas. was i making it up for attention 🤔#it literally still hurts now wtf #im coping with the fact that ive always had migraines but didn't have a word for them #thought that migraine didn't apply to me because i didn't get them frequently or they weren't often disruptive #im just like ah been staring at the screen too long. starting to get a hot headache #or ooh everything is bright and smelly time for bed #i remember once being so light headed n my mom said i looked pale and i just couldn't find the energy to talk. just was like yeah headache #you know how those are

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year

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been wringing my hands about the concept of family therapy. scary stuff. like maybe it could help and we sure as hell need SOMETHING to change but i think it would be like taking a potato peeler to the soles of my feet

#look it probably works for a lot of ppl but every time i think about it as a solution for my Definitely Needs It family it's like. god no #it probably only works when everyone's willing to change and actually listen to each other #if i did it with my folks im worries they'd quit if they were challenged or talk shit about the therapist/methods afterwards #like im so worried the therapist would take their side and we'd be stuck giving in to them #only now with assurance from an expert that they're always right and we're wrong and ungrateful. not helpful!! negative progress #and if we tried to switch therapists my parents would be like oh you just can't accept responsibility 🙄🙄#you just wanted someone to tell you you didn't have to try or to coddle you or make us do what you want or whatever #aghhh it's so scary and it's not even on the table. no one wants this but i also think trying to mediate it myself would suck so fuckin bad #aughh. sorry i wanna write about it as like. a tags rant. here goes #my parents don't apologize for shit. ive legit seen it happen once. they justify and backpedal but they never acknowledge their bs #they treat the harm that comes from their methods with a sort of 'well what do you expect me to do about it?! (rhetorical)' vibe #like there is no way to improve. like the ability for parents to fail and be flawed means those things must be accepted uncritically #because they're trying and they have good intentions. but if they really wanted to help as they claim they would be willing to change #if you're trying to help someone and they tell you your actions didn't help or are hurting them you should change your methods so theyre #helped. but they operate on this assumption that their methods should always work and thud if they don't that we're too sensitive #'youre asking for too much' was kind of a major theme in my childhood is what im realizing #instead they justify and focus on intent or their kids' flaws (real or imagined). they want to change the reaction rather than the action #they dont want to help they just want the problem to go away. and quiet kids look like happy kids i guess #thing is i cant even cite that many manipulative things theyve said bc we all go quiet as soon as they use a disapproving tone #like they'll just be like 'skrunks >:/.' and that's it. i cant say anything. i know i wont be listened to and they fucking do it on purpose #theyre kinda shit at defending themselves but i can barely follow their lines of reasoning so it's so fucking hard to argue with them #it's also so unnurturing. why is us being unhappy or uncomfortable smth to blame on our failure n not smth you want to help with? wth #yk the thing about the Shut Down Tone is i recognize and resent it sometimes but it still makes me feel like im not giving them a fair shot #bc i dont even slightly challenge them much (& they dont have to say what they mean for us to cower) i feel like im misreading their tone #that im being too sensitive and thinking theyre being controlling for no reason. like im reading into it too hard and hating them when if i #pushed back they'd freely be good to me and change and be reasonable. but now it's becoming clearer that that's not the case bc they Do Not #and if i mention The Tone theyll just say im overreacting and that it's my fault for not sticking up for myself AGAIN!!!!!!#and it's so frustrating knowing what's going on and still having these doubts. i can't trust my gut or what i hear bc they might be right #they'll straight up lie or change their arguments or their story to get me to submit. am i being gaslit??? wtf #but i trust my (treated worse) brothers' accounts which helps. my parents brag about their parenting skills to us btw ✌️✌️

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mrfoox · 1 year

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People showing interest and consistent interest in me always makes me worried... Wish my mind wasn't this way

#miranda talking shit #I... Logically theres many more good reasons to it. But i doubt them all bc i cant imagine someone being genuinely #Interested in me. That goes triple with interest romantically or whatever. Some people have probably had some kind of interest like that #In me through my life but ive never understood or realized it. Bc i probably end up distancing myself bc im scared so they think im #Uninterested. Atm a guy from my courses have been messaging me a lot and for a week plus always answer quick even though i take 3-15 hours #And my mind is paranoid about it. Wish i could just enjoy attention normally but no my mind must ruin it for me. Like bro we are finally #Getting someone who wants to talk with us and puts down time to message us.... Embrace it. No instead its scary bc its not whats normal for #Me. I am probably scared of anyone caring for me bc i feel im not enough and i will disappoint them+am not worth it #Meanwhile i love everyone so much and care so hard but when anyone shows they do about me i either ... Repress it/ignore it or freak out #In my mind i always care more about everyone i like than they do me. I expect nothing of them. Expectations scare me so i never have them #negative

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drchucktingle · 5 days

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POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS

wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible

plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat

figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)

basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning

problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this

more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).

i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'

so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine

you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland

the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)

so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate

but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.

point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE

so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist

thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos

#buckaroo lifestyle #health

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pelova4president · 3 months

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Shadows are to protect I

Alessia Russo x Putellas!Reader

shadows are to protect II, III, IV

summary~ You just moved to Arsenal and everything was unknown to you but now you had Alessia. Your situationship with Alessia was everything but perfect but at least she was there, sometimes.

this is pure angst

Alessia is your whole heart. You could tell her that a thousand times and she still wouldn’t leave her boyfriend.

He doesn’t even get her, not like you do. He doesn’t appreciate her like you do. It should be you holding her hand on the streets. It should be you kissing her in the bars of London.

You didn’t really know when you started to feel that way. You’d just moved to England, a very scary move from your comfortable and warm Spain. Spain and Barcelona was all you’ve even known. Expending your world was just as terrifying as you’d ever believed.

The welcome was cold, very cold. It was the completely opposite of what you were used to, it was quite literally what you were petrified of. You left the warm sun kissing the dark little freckles on your face and exchanged the English rain dropping down on your hair. You weren’t even sure what to call it, not in English and not in Spanish either.

But even now you weren’t sure if you’d go back and stay in Barcelona. The sun might shine there most hours of the working days but you’d always be in the shadows. In the shadows of La Reina, Alexia Putellas, your sister.

The two coloured club had offered you a contract extension where you’d get paid twice the amount you did last year. You’d driven to the club like you did most days but this time you had one thing in mind, or so you thought. Signing for another three years and being the average defender in the team for whenever one of the original starters couldn’t participate.

A red and blue pen rested between your thumb and point fingers as you listened to your manager talk about the future. But most of it fell to deaf ears. “Alexia and you would be the head of the Champions League campaign. Imagine this, the Putellas hermanas on top of Europe.” he said full excitement. It wasn’t the whole campaign that set you off but how he began his sentence, ‘Alexia and you’.

You were sitting here, ready to sign your contract, for your future. They wanted you to sign and still their first thought was Alexia.

Without saying a word you stormed off. You were not doing this again for three more years.

You had spiked interest from multiple clubs, not only Europe but America too. But when Arsenal let your agency know that they wanted you, you knew that that was it. From now on you’ll be a gunner, through and through.

You got picked up from the Airport. With a sign reading ‘Putellas’. It felt good. They didn’t have to clarify which Putellas sister they were picking up, there was only one in London now, you. The bigger man, he might’ve even be twice the height of you introduced himself. And with the little English you had in store you thanked him and told him your name.

The man you now knew as Keith was a simple man. He opened the door for you and didn’t say much. You liked it that way, the silence was fine by you. You liked that the intimidating car you were sat in had tinted windows. Not so you couldn’t be seen but because it gave you some sort of comfort. When you were younger and Alexia was a rising star she had you sit in the backseat, where nobody could see you and where you’d be safe she’d say.

The little droplets of rain were doing races and you had lost for about the twentieth time when the car came to a stop. Keith grumbled something about being there and got out. You didn’t really know what to do and what they expected of you so you opened the car door. Picking your bags up you placed your right foot outside and your left followed.

It all went too fast, Jonas showed almost all the rooms in the building and the wet pitches that were not in any state to be used. You had to film a few shots for your signing announcement, get through a few medical test and finally got to go home.

Keith drove you to your temporary apartment just a few minutes away from the training ground. You had a streak of almost one hundred days of English on Duolingo so you thanked the tall man in the few words you had learned to say and got out of the black Range Rover.

You were home. You were home, you kept repeating those words but you didn’t believe it. You were home.

This is it now. North London is your new home.

The appartement was empty except for the blank furniture, it had no personality and it was hard to think there ever would be. Four white walls, a grey couch, a black kitchen and an all white bed in the middle of your bedroom. They didn’t even tell you that the kitchen would be just as empty as the apartment.

The sound of a notification alarmed you out of your emotionless state. You forgot to put your phone on do not disturb. ‘Where are you?’ it read. Alexia knew you didn’t sign for Barca the day before but she didn’t know you’d be gone by the morning. Tapping on the do not disturb mode you traveled to your all white bed.

And that is how it went, do not disturb mode on. You we there, at the training ground and the games but not really there. You weren’t in the right mindset to talk to anyone yet and that’s why it was so goddamn frustrating when McCabe or Mead tried to get you to talk.

You sat alone at lunch, didn’t go out with your teammates and barely stayed in contact with your sister. That was until Alessia Russo came into your life.

You didn’t mean to let her in. You decided early on that you were at Arsenal for your career and career only. But she changed that, so quick. And before you knew it you were falling for her.

She came into Arsenal and everyone was a fan of her. It seemed like she was friends with everyone instantly and it made you curious.

Alessia had been a gunner for almost a week when you realised she lived across from your apartment. She came knocking on your door one evening, offering you some of het pasta since she had made too much. You knew that she’d been searching for an opportunity to get you to talk to her but you didn’t expect her to come knocking at your door like that.

You let her in and she started to talk to you. You couldn’t exactly call it a conversation since she did all the talking and you muttered out some broken English once in a while. But even though you hated to admit it, she was nice company. It made you feel less lonely, she made you feel less empty.

You’d told Alexia about your move to Arsenal before it officially came out and she wasn’t pleased, at all. She was mad, mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You told her what had happened and what was racing through your mind when you made the decision but she just couldn’t fathom out the thought of you feeling that way. And that made you feel even less understood, it felt like your life was slipping away from you and you only made it worse with every next move you made.

But Alessia made you feel like you were okay for a moment. After the first day of eating together she offered you food almost everyday and after a month it became a tradition, you would diner together every single day and she even learned you English. You didn’t really progress in your Duolingo streak and didn’t talk much either so the help was very much needed.

It wasn’t until the first half of the season had been played that you realised you had other feelings for her. You saw her as more than just a friend. It was all going very fast and the feelings intensified by the day, that may be because she was the only one you really could talk to. It hurt you to even think about living without her and that might’ve the first warning you should’ve seen but you didn’t.

It was Alessia who kissed you first. You both had been drinking and the two empty bottles of red wine next to your grey couch were the evidence of that. Alessia was a touchy person, just like everyone in Spain so you didn’t mind. She was giggly and teasing you relentlessly.

“I bet you think about me hmm?” she hummed and started to climb on top of you. Taken aback by the movement you didn’t really react to anything she had just said. “I want to kiss you.” she whispered into your ear that was tinted red by now. You didn’t answer. “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay.” she leaned in, placing her pink lips on your red ones. It was sweet but turned desperate very quickly.

The blonde slept sweetly beside you that evening. The thoughts raced through your mind and none of them were making any sense. It was hard to think straight with Alessia next to you, that was what made things so complicated. But now that she was laying in your bed you couldn’t not have her there, you needed her.

Alessia started to stay over more and more, it became your new normal. Half of her closet was laying in yours and she even brought her favourite mug with her. You bought all her favourite foods so she would feel comfortable and she appreciated it, just not enough to stay with you.

You came home on a Thursday evening one day but Alessia was nowhere to be found. Normally she would be laying on your couch, watching some sappy Netflix show you refused to watch with her. A bowl of nuts in her hands she didn’t really like but it was a healthy snack so it would do. But the only thing you found on your couch was her blue hoodie. Well it was yours originally but she basically claimed it as hers now.

Putting your cold groceries away you walked towards Alessia’s front door. She had given you her spare key after leaving hers in her home, locking herself out for the second time. She had bought a keychain with it, a little Barca jersey with your name and number on it. You smiled down at the colourful jersey and opened the door.

Walking in you heard some laughter coming from the living room that you could describe in detail. It was a light living room with two big windows that were open at all times, she liked it that way. She bought a brown couch after you broke her beige one. You had gifted her a few plants to make the room a real living space but knew she didn’t really care for them so you’d come in and give them water.

The photo’s in her hallway were those of her mom, dad and brothers, who she adored so much. And even though she didn’t like to have pictures of herself in her home she had one of her and her best friend Ella after winning the Euros.

When you stepped into the living area you were a bit taken aback by the man sitting next to your Alessia. His left hand was draped over her shoulder, like it was the most normal thing. His right was resting on her thigh. Who was he?

You stood still, watching the pair until Alessia noticed you. Her eyes had gone wide. “Hey, what’re you doing here?” she asked carefully. You didn’t answer. “Luke, this is my teammate, and well, this is my boyfriend Luke.” she introduced you and stalked towards your frozen form.

Boyfriend? You thought..

Alessia gave her boyfriend some weak excuse and walked you back to your apartment. You were in your own home again, a safe place. When Alessia started to talk again you cut her off. “I- you have a boyfriend? I thought we had.. something?” you looked almost lost to her. “Well, you thought wrong. Whatever you thought we had, we didn’t.” she said without any emotion behind her eyes, like she hadn’t spent the whole of last week in your house, in your bed, wearing your hoodie.

She left your house like nothing had happened.

Were you really that stupid, did you really think she’d like you. You had created this whole other reality, one where she’d actually like you and wanted to be with you.

You kept to yourself even more now. Alessia had gotten you out of your shell to some extent but now you had crawled back in again. Every moment you weren’t training or playing football you were at home but it didn’t feel like home anymore. It wasn’t as empty as it was when it arrived but it felt like it. The life had gone away and that’s not something you can fix with a few overpriced paintings and some weird cactus.

You couldn’t eat dinner without Alessia, you couldn’t watch horrible movies without Alessia and you just couldn’t sleep in a bed without Alessia.

It was the one time you decided to go out and drink that she came over to talk to you again. She acted like nothing had ever happend, like it was back to normal again, like she had slept in your bed the day before. But you liked it, craved it even. You had longed for Alessia to come back again and save you from yourself.

So she ended up in your bed and stayed long enough for you to fall asleep. But not long enough for you to wake up to her scent or her sleepy blue eyes and messy blonde hair.

It went on like that, she came home with you for the night and you forgot about all the things she had done to you and you woke up to an empty bed. You did feel bad for the Luke guy, well you did in the beginning but somewhere along the way you started to lose that sympathy.

You were mad. Angry. He could drive her to training and hold her hand out in public. He could kiss her on the streets and wake up to her snuggled next to him. He could have all those domestic little moments and gestures you longed for. It wasn’t fair.

Alessia had prepared dinner for the both of you and you were watching a movie when you felt the need to talk to her about this whole situation. “Lessi, i really like you. I want you and i to be together because i love you.” there, you said it. Alessia didn’t look at you, she stared blankly at the movie infront of her. You reached for the distraction playing on the television and paused it but she still wouldn’t look you in the eyes.

“I love you.” you repeated again, hoping for a response. She sighed, “Look, i don’t know what you think we are but we aren’t that. I don’t know how many times i have to tell you this but i have a boyfriend and you’re just there for a quick fuck. That’s all. You’re not special just because your sister has won a few trophies. I can’t do anything about the fact that you’re fucking lonely but leave me out of it.” she hissed.

You just said you loved her, for the first time. You handed her your fucking heart and she stomped on it like it was nothing. Alesia knew your relationship with your sister was complicated and being in her shadows was something that hurt you the most in this world, but yet she brought it up. You’d told her everything you never dared to say out loud and she used it to damage you even more. She is your whole world but to her you’re a ‘quick fuck’.

You were hers but she’d never be yours

“Please go away.” you asked her, tears threatening to escape your tired glossy eyes.

You were left alone in your apartment and the loneliness was more torturous than ever. The fucking lasagna Alessia had made you had turned cold and you looked at the wooden table infront of you. There was a picture of you and Alexia framed, Alessia had printed it out to make you feel more like home but it only made you miss it more, especially now.

Looking at your phone you opened your chat with your sister. You hadn’t texted her in about a month, the last text being about your mothers birthday that you couldn’t attend.

You needed her, you needed you sister to protect you. You needed her to protect you from the sun and to place you in her shadows again. For once it was all you desired.

A/N let me know what you think of the fic!! Also, i don’t know if i should write a second part and if or how i should end up Alessia and R together. I could make R fall in love with someone else too??

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso community #engwnt #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #arsenalwomen #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #arsenalwfc x reader #barca femeni #barcelona femeni #barca women #angst #shadows are to protect

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uyuforu · 3 months

Text

Uyu's Astro Observations IV

Some observations are +18

ᯓ★ Do I have playlists for every mood ever or do I just have Leo placements?

ᯓ★ Boda conjunct Boda in Solar Return Synastry... you are either getting proposed or getting married lol.

ᯓ★ Vertex is so important in any chart, look at it always please!

ᯓ★ I was wondering why people found Jack Harlow so attractive with the way he talks, and I found out he has 3H Leo lol! True rizz placement.

ᯓ★ Erda (894) is an asteroid that tells you about your past life. So Erda conjunct Erda in synastry means you were def in each other's past life and played an important role towards each other.

ᯓ★ I'm studying Transits these days, and the day I met my FS, I had North Node in 7H, he had Sun, Mercury and Venus in his 5H. His Groom was also conjuncting his DSC. My Moon was also exactly conjuncting my IC.

ᯓ★ Boda in 7H synastry: Boda person could want to marry 7H person and is most likely to propose in the future.

ᯓ★ Also, Jack Harlow has Ceres conjunct Mercury, this could explain also why he is so smooth with the way he speaks to people.

ᯓ★ Sun in 7H in Solar Return Synastry means this person wants to marry 7H person, and may realize it this year, or propose. If Saturn is also there, something is blocking this union, and this person may see obstacles.

ᯓ★ Your Neptune & Venus falling in another person's 11H in Solar Return Synastry means you are stalking their social medias a lot this year because you have crush lol.

ᯓ★ If your Neptune & Venus fall in your person's 8H, you are obsessed with them, you can't stop thinking about them and fantasizing about them either. Might also stalk.

ᯓ★ Mars in 1H synastry... Mars person wants to do 1H person so bad.

ᯓ★ If you have Boda falling in another person's 3H in Solar Return Synastry, you might propose to them this year. Or you will want to.

ᯓ★ Vertex conjuncts Vertex in Solar Return Synastry means something will happen this year between you two that will change your life forever. The themes are the houses where the Vertex are. For ex: 5H for both means you can enter in a relationship, or get engaged, or have a baby...

ᯓ★ The year I wasn't working, I had Saturn 10H in Solar Return.

ᯓ★ In the same Solar Return, I had Moon Scorpio 20°, I was depressed, I did tons of tattoos and dressed in black every time. I was looking very cold and detached too.

ᯓ★ This Solar Return I met my FS, Groom conjuncted Vertex this year.

ᯓ★ Also, Groom conjuncted Vertex in the 6H, and this meeting forced me to realize my toxic patterns and heal myself. It was the start of a healing journey.

ᯓ★ Any years I had a toxic relationship, I always had Venus 8H in my SRC.

ᯓ★ Gemini Moon in 8H is an insane placement, people like that can really get in dark places when they overthink or are depressed. Their mind can be scary for other people. But those people need the most help in the end.

ᯓ★ While Vertex 5H means you want and will have children, Chiron in 5H means you are scared to have children, some traumas will prevent you from having some.

ᯓ★ Juno/ Groom/ Briede conjunct Jupiter means your FS will make you very happy, and cheer you up. They will bring you sunshine. You will feel more lucky after marriage.

ᯓ★ Juno/ Groom/ Briede conjunct Pluto means they will totally transform your life. If it is in the 6H, it means this person will heal you, despite that it can be scary for you.

ᯓ★ Vertex PC will tell you way more about your destiny. Check it to see the whole ride.

ᯓ★ Asteroid Kreusa (488) can mean where you escape in life, how you escape, and what you abandoned, what abandoned you. It's a theory of mine since the asteroid never had an observation before. I checked it for me and my friends and it is in fact a verified theory! Give credits for @uyuforu on this one please!

ᯓ★ I noticed my MC PC and Briede PC looks very much the same, and I have Sun & Mercury Capricorn in my Briede PC, I'm gonna be the leader in that marriage lmao.

ᯓ★ In my Boda PC, Part of Fortune conjunct Union, meaning a lucky marriage that will make both of us happy.

ᯓ★ I also have DNA asteroid (55555) in my 7H in my Boda PC, there are high chance to be pregnant when I marry...

ᯓ★ Moreover, my FS has Vertex 5H in his Boda PC, so the child theory for the wedding can be very true lol...

ᯓ★ In the Child PC, my FS has a stellium in 7H and Boda is inside of it ;-;

ᯓ★ If we continue on the child theory, my FS has DNA asteroid in his 7H of Groom PC, he also has Juno and Vertex there, so it's reassuring lol!

ᯓ★ Juno 7H in Groom/ or Briede PC means you marry your destined person. My FS has Juno 7H in his Groom PC, and I have Juno 7H in my Briede PC. We will both think we married "the one".

ᯓ★ Saturn in 10H transits is a hard time to find a job... or to get a promotion.

ᯓ★ Last thing about Jack Harlow: he kept saying he wants 8 children, so I checked his chart. Vertex 5H lmao, am I shocked?

ᯓ★ I lied, it wasn't the last thing about Jack. He also said he was into sweet girls. I am not shocked, he has Briede Cancer. He will def marry a sweet girl.

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