#and keeps it from healing itself

[mad-voidling]

🤝 People Eater as a Mr Eaten song

Vigorously nodding and shaking your hand you get it you get it

#I will admit I haven’t fully read smen but from what I understand of it. it’s significantly lacking in cannibalism/eating #which is disappointing cause like. it could symbolize the cyclical nature of revenge and how feeding the pain just makes it hungrier #and keeps it from healing itself #also while avid horizon is cool and all I wish the end of smen was instead actually meeting eaten/candles #or what remains of it anyway. and either you ask a question and are eaten or you turn around and learn nothing #with the purpose of said eating being so that it can slowly rebuild its body and the reckoning can no longer be postponed #also it has to eat people because it was eaten itself #and it remakes itself a la hellraiser but a lot slower and needing a lot more bodies #voidilite-singularis

[danothan]

tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things

#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao #feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy #danbles #and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth #or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities #or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to #or whatever else #i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy #I’M certainly not going to #but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer #and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc) #i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where #i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything #but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on #it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way #idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences #even negative ones are valuable to me #but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem #maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem #fuuck guys ​i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀

[dragonofthestone]

@lunaferrous asked:

scars, chronic

scars:  how many scars does my muse have? where are they located on my muse’s body? how did they get them? what do they look like? 

Alright so given his unique body and it's heightened ability to heal you might think that would mean a lack of scars. Quite the opposite in fact, as while his body may does heal faster then the average person and given enough time has a better chance of surviving from potentially fateful wounds it still heals in much the same ways any living creature (barring like magic / anything that can go beyond natural limits like the Philosopher's stone or something)

It does take a little more for his body to form a scar- so something that may leave someone with only a small / faint scar would probably heal up fine with no scarring.

He has a lot of scars,

the most prominent of course being the one over his eye- the how is something that tends to vary depending on verse, typically it's one of the many acquired during his time as a lab rat.

Although in time he had no trouble healing from the injury not even his healing was capable of repairing the damage done to his eye.

The nerves around that side of his face are kinda screwy- there's a few small spots where in he actually has no feeling, while others are a bit more sensitive to touch.

It's not a clean scar to say the least, the skin is patchy and scarring actually makes it hard to hold it all the way open so most of the time he keeps it closed- also because the tear ducts / eyes general ability to keep wet is kinda fucked so keeps it protected/avoids drying out.

(Modern verse- it was an injury recieved when he got caught in the blast of an old detonated mine that killed his little bro)

He's got a lot of scars all over his body, many being quite faint / not as noticeable as others, remains of the many different experiments. Some were from genuine accidents, an experiment gone wrong or results no one had expected. Others were more intentional as part of an experiment with wanting to be able to see the extent of not only what he could heal from but how long it would take. Or simply as a result from wanting to see how he'd react to certain stimuli,

and of course more then once pitting him against another Chimera (or worse Alchemist) to see how he could handle in a fight.

He does have one sizable scar on the back of one of his calves from when he fell out of a tree as a kid and got a rather nasty cut from a tree branch

Slightly less obvious are some faint areas of scarring caused by the Alchemical process. For most alchemy when a transmutation is done that changes the form of something it leaves behind a trace, so why wouldn't the same be true for Chimera? Typically they aren't to noticeable often hidden by fur or feathers, hidden among the textures and patterns of their skin or perhaps in a place most wouldn't notice.

For Tim most of those marks are generally hidden by clothes, the largest and likely most noticeable is on his back near the base of his tail. At a glance it really looks just like a slightly discoloured patch of skin that if touch has a slightly different feel then other parts of his body.

(Do Mental/psychological scars count? He's got a bucket load of those too lol)

chronic: does my muse have any chronic health conditions / illnesses? how do these affect them from day-to-day? 

Coming as a surprise to no one who's spent anytime on this blog (or around Tim) He suffers heavily from Chronic pain, his worst/most problematic areas being his hands, one may commonly see him rubbing his hands usually by the wrist, and back- mostly lower back especially the closer you get to where his tail connects- which in combination with general balance problems is why his posture isn't always great.

But those are just the worst sources of pain and frequently deals with joint and/or muscle pains else where. Such as his eye which sometimes he'll just get bad phantom pains from it- due to the rather messed nerve signals around there.

He's not one to complain about his discomforts whether it be from the innate animal instinct to not show weakness / hide the pain or simply not wanting to cause any one unneeded worry and be a bother. Like a lot of medication, pain management treatments tend to be a gamble on whether or not they'll be of any affect to him, he does tend to respond better to more natural remedies, herbal stuff and the like you know. Heat / warmth go along way to help ease the pain, another reason you'll find him seeking out the warmest spots.

Most days it's manageable enough that even if not pleasant it's at a level he's become accustomed too and can deal with.

One can usually judge his pain levels by how active he's being, less active or less willing to be active assuming there's no other potential outside factors, the more pain he's in that day. If it's really bad he may also come across as a bit snippier then normal and just in general has a lower tolerance for certain things

Storms are no fun and tend to make it worse is frequently when the pain to his eye will flare up too- which does often make him a decent predictor on whether bad weather is coming.

headaches/migraines aren't uncommon for him either.

Pain isn't the only issue,

His other main health problem would be his Chronic insomnia -if not having full Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (I'm hesitant to officially drop the label on him but just various symptoms/signs of it a lot of the things very much apply to him at the very least he's borderline)

Some nights he just won't/can't sleep at all, and when he can/does will often frequently wake up.

Now in part it is once again another trouble created from his Chimeric design, with an internal clock that's more suited to Crepuscular bordering Nocturnal in combination with being an attempt at wanting someone/ a creature that could go without sleep for extended periods. Add on chronic pain plus nightmares and you've got a nest recipe for one sleepless guy, and is why you may frequently find him taking short naps through out the day.

Much like with pain the only truly affective remedy tends to be natural ones, such as drinking Valerian tea.

Has some mild lung problems do to scarring- which again can be attributed to alchemy and his creation process, because forcefully changing something into a form it was never meant to be is damaging (imperfect as it is the Pseudo, half-baked attempt at stone in his body is quite honestly probably the only thing that's saving him/his body from just rejecting itself- like a body rejecting an organ after a transplant)

It doesn't cause him too much problems for the most part- both stamina and endurance are in the above average range but it does take him a bit long to catch his breath and can get winded easier then one might expect. The cold, especially cold, dry air plays havoc with it.

Also affecting his breathing is the fact his heart isn't exactly in the right place, it's sort of pushed more to the right, closer to center of his chest kinda, which creates pressure against his lungs/makes everything else all wonky.

Quite honestly Tim's a medical marvel not for being a Chimera but simply for the fact that he's not dead.

You can probably also add his laundry list of Mental Health issues here too if you want.

#lab report || about tim #illness tw #injury tw #keep it secret: ask #abuse tw #experiment tw #scars tw #Look I've frequently wondered why having an exceptional / superhuman healing has to mean 0 scarring #scars are literally just a way the body heals itself having to pull back together damaged skin #long post #[also undecided but kind like the image of if/when he gets wings there'd be a pair of faint lines on his back from where the emerge] #[part of me thinks it'd be interesting if it was like completely flipped with his heart on the right] #[tim gets hit in the chest; everyone freaking out and he's just.. i'll be okay] #[I should do a sketch of his scars if only to give myself an actual visual to help figure em out]

[vulpinesaint]

engaging in the time-honored tradition of boyhood by having a fucked up and unconventional skincare routine that is not actually a skincare routine at all :)

#have to wash my face for realzies now that i'm on t. increased oil production and all that. #however i think i need to be washing it with just soap and water the cleaner gets too harsh dksfjghs #and moisturizer kinda does fuck all for me but you know what! putting straight up oil on my face puts my oil barrier back! #which i need! so. well. y'know hair oil isn't Supposed to go on my face theoretically but it's just oil + some fragrance. so. #me and the bestie (hair oil directly on my face to balance my skin back out after a shower) #my philosophy will always be the less i can do to my skin the better. and once i am on t a leeeeetle longer #i will get a more regular routine of washing face + back and my skin will balance itself out again i have faith. #just a matter of getting the spots on my forehead to clear up haha #should invest in some of those pimple patches not to heal them but to keep me from picking at it </3 #valentine notes

[birindale]

the designer of She-Ra

Another of the Power-Con 2016 panels, by Justine Dantzer, the designer of She-Ra, featuring her history with the line & some pretty delightful preliminary art. I'll be posting some still images soon (have to crack a few urls first) but I’d like to get the full presentation up here, because it’s actually like. pretty cool.

Below, I’ve transcribed a bit from right after the 24 minute mark where she discusses the emotional origins of She-Ra: Her childhood as a victim of abuse. so. viewer/reader discretion is advised below the cut

I was a little girl in Toledo, Ohio, and I was severely abused. I had a mother who tried to kill me twice. And um, she was schizophrenic, narcissist, borderline, un-cared for, un-doctored, un-medicated. And I grew up never knowing if--never knowing what would happen next. And she didn't just abuse me, she abused my siblings, too. And so as a kid then, what do I do? I read comics. I went to comics. I bought the--every time I had some money, I bought comics. And I read the comics and I was uh, you know, kinda criticized for reading all of my Superman comics, my Batman comics, like, and all the comics I collected--and I collected them--and um, so what I did, is I was trying to understand what was happening in my life. And I wanted a hero. And I didn't have one.

And uh, Bow has a heart, because my dad couldn't own his. He never, ever stopped my mother, not once. And Bow is wounded with his hand, because my father never lifted a finger. So when I sat down to do a male action character, Bow was there. He was there and he was waiting. And that’s how he came out. And when I sat down to do She-Ra? She was there. Because I realized... the hero was me. And She-Ra was waiting, in me. So you know, what's so interesting is here we are, 32 years later, and you guys still love her. And there was power, apparently! I didn't create that name, but that was a good name, because there was power that came down all these years. And these characters--I don't care what form, it's fantastic it exists at all. So thank you guys. Thank you guys. For understanding that somewhere in this character, you were owning yourselves. So, power to you!

#motu #she ra #justine dantzer #i can't lie y'all i cried a bit #couple notes on this. he-man.org has some high quality stills but it's still down so i'm going in and editing individual numbers in urls #which worked for most of them but bow kowl and pegasus are fighting me a bit. just gotta keep trying #found an okay version she sent to an interviewer but it's not as big/crisp #i expect i'll be doing individual uploads for different characters anyway so maybe i'll just save bow for last #think i saw 'em in the power of grayskull anyway... might be able to grab a screenshot instead #anyway Yeah Haha it's really just like this all the way down huh. the toy itself is a healing from abuse narrative. i need to go lay down #unsolicited commentary

[bunn13z]

can’t sleep because i’m back on my “i am unlovable and something is wrong with me because everyone i ever date ends up leaving after leading me on or having sex with me” thoughts. like i just feel so fucking used all the time. i just am so tired of falling for people who go and break me again. maybe i am gullible and naive for this to keep happening to me… or maybe i deserve it…

i just so badly want someone to like me

#crying in bed #what did i do to deserve this #i am only 21 but i so badly want to give up on the idea of ever finding love #maybe then i will just feel lonely and not broken #like we haven’t talked since they ended things at the beginning of the month #but i just keep going back to how happy i was with them #it was the first time i felt like someone respected me and was treating me right #and now i’m back to hating myself #ALL BECAUSE THEY LIKED MY TWEET #like i don’t know how to heal from this #because everytime i do the cycle repeats itself #and i know i’m going to get messages telling me that i’m wrong and that it’ll be better one day #but at this point i doubt it #i grew up thinking i would never have a happy ending as a queer person #and maybe i was right #maybe the media i consumed showing every queer couple dying or breaking up was right #i am just destined to be alone

[hazardperceptiontest]

wait how did people find flesh prison harder than minos prime,,,,,like just parry the shit

#val.txt #ultrakill #honestly i keep seeing shit like this #how tf was flesh prison hard that shit was easy compared to minos prime #i had 28 restarts on p-1 and most of them came from minos prime #the most fucked up tthing abt flesh prison is the lore btw. they gave it divine and hell energy and it throws out black holes and can heal #itself. fucked up shit

[soulhavens]

started using henchmen to help me solo because i am Bad at this game but god is this guy useless

#ive done it twice now. first was soloing the cabal bosses in novus on my storm so the life helped me stay alive #now im doing it on my balance. chose a death henchmen bc i figured it could keep itself alive. but it got hit like twice and now all it doe #is sacrifice. on itself. so it heals like 100 hp a turn. #RIP #anyway i thought it'd be a good idea bc my balance has shitty damage output and with quaker and earthquake i thought death would be safe #but NOOOO #m #mine #novus #comments from sol

[itspileofgoodthings]

literally sometimes my brain won’t work right when I am under stress or anxiety or just riding waves of turmoil but it still keeps going through the motions of working—grinding, whirring, spinning, turning etc etc etc. but all unproductively—and so I have to take my brain and put it on ice like “you CANNOT use this right now Maria it is not working right” and then go do other things and it has been the hardest thing in the world for me to learn but also one of the most important lessons from this season I think. just to haul myself out of the pit of my own thinking and go look at the sky or some grass.

#I think of it in terms of putting it on ice/giving it to Our Lady #because the thing is!!! and I know how self-aggrandizing this sounds but. I’m very smart #like with my BRAIN #the gift is thinking. it’s analyzing #but when for other reasons I am under physical emotional mental spiritual stress #that just makes my gift of thinking worse #and it betrays me #and it paints the most vivid pictures and scenarios and stories #and there is this thread of truth trying to push its way through because I’ve really honed my mind to look for the truth #but it’s trying to operate in the dark and it CANNOT do it #and so it’s like. I just have to disengage from a problem #from trying to figure it out #I have to say to myself ‘your brain isn’t working right now. set it down and go do something else’ #and just wait and trust #and because I have intense anxiety it makes me want to SCREAM to have to do that #it feels wrong and evil to set the problem down in any way #to not try to wrestle my way to an answer #but I just keep hitting so many dead ends in my mind that it has forced itself on my consciousness (finally) #that the smart thing to do is to not try to analyze right now #I need to surrender and get my bearings again and rest and heal #and then try to tackle the intellectual problem #these are mostly about internal spiritual battles I’ve been facing I know it sounds all vague #anyway life is crazy. my brain is a little broken. I cannot think myself out of …. well anything #it’s time to lean on other things #including the act of trust and a trust fall and setting down a tangled problem at the feet of Our Lady #and saying ‘here it’s yours’ #and it’s so hard because of course I sneak back in a second later and try to start untangling it again #like the naughty little kid I am #but that’s just part of the struggle. to KEEP not engaging. because I SUSPECT (underneath my fear) that if I leave it alone it will melt #and resolve into a dew of its own accord. things are like that. life is simple you know? let be. ANYWAY.

[le-panda-chocovore]

GO2 is heartbreaking, Heartstopper 2 is sad, well okay then I give up queer shows. If you look for my I'm back on my Haikyuu hyperfixation. At least THIS cannot disappoint me, since I already know this anime by heart.

#I used to rewatch random episode for fun #well i'm gonna do it again now #i watched 5 episode from s4 yesterday and i will keep going today #seeing my babies really heal my heart #and i mean HQ is a queer anime as itself lmaoooo #so much gays in it #my comfort show #haikyuu #good omens 2 #heartstopper s2 #personal vent

[lhrry]

x

#I’m only starting to process everything now bc I went right back to work when I came from Spain but I just want to say #yk the trip was really really difficult for me for several different reasons piling onto each other and I was seriously considering leaving #before afhf and spent a lot of the trip crying and honestly don’t know what I would do if people like Lisa Ali and Raina weren’t there for #and with me and I’ll always be grateful to them #BUT I want to say that the festival itself was so healing like so so so healing I can’t even begin to express it #to watch louis do what he does - even before he was on stage it was so clear he was so involved with the entire concept of the festival and #and the whole thing was such a perfect vision and it was so fan oriented even with free water and vegan food and stuff #to watch the other bands perform (because there’s just nothing in this world that I love more than music and concerts) #and then watch him on stage himself was so incredible he was so so so incredible and he gave me so much joy and idk strength to keep going #and motivation and like I felt alive and myself again after quite some time and he as the person who stood there was just unbelievable and #in the context of my trip being what it was it was just ….. yeah I can’t describe it #and this in combination with the community that was there and the energy of the crowd which nobody else but louis has actually and the #fact that you really feel like you’re a part of sth it was magical #and by that I just want to say i know I complained a lot but it meant the absolute world to me to be there despite everything and louis #really is a walking beacon of light saving me again and again #Harry’s show this year probably changed the course of my life for a few reasons and it really was one of the most important moments for me #but watching louis reminded me of that and more and just yea #made me feel like myself again and I love him and I know I’m not the only one for whom the festival was so healing <3

[wine-dark-soup]

Arf

#It's 🤌 the sudden realization living alone is terrible for you #My mom visited and left this morning #I was feeling so great even stopped having insomnia (that i had non stop since august) #(Btw you never realize how tired you are until you sleep soundly for 4 days and feel Normal again) #The weather is probably helping too but thats not just that #And now im alone again in the house and the minute she left i felt i was starting to drift again #Im a freelancer #I work from home so i dont even have work relationships #And depression really fuels itself like if i start being tired again if it stop sleeping again #I will be too tired to go out and i will remain Isolated #Which is pretty much what happened since august #I literally dont know how to form Solid relationships too and not just like having a nice chat with people i'll see once or twice #It's terrible bc i am Not as depressed as before so i am perfectly aware of the tools i can use and i remember feeling so strong #When i was declared 'healed' a few months back. Like it was true and i was about to seize the opportunity #But it was like; snatched from me and it IS even more depressing somehow. It was just here you know? #Idk; idk. I hope i'll keep sleeping so i can go out at least but i am really feeling hopeless and uuuh #Ill-fated? #To the point im on the verge of crying #EDIT WRONG BLOG not that it matters i just wanted to get it off my chest #Adding this too - i immediately started bad habits again. Like playing games in the evening. Bc what else is there to do when you cant ' #'Parallel play' with your mom in the living room? Chill while shes watches a show #? #Just chat with her (or anyone else)? #I have no interest in watching tv on my own i just wouldnt focus except if im 200% into it #So being alone in the living room is at best boring at worst anxiety inducing. Im just there. Waiting for something #So before it becomes unbearable i hurry nack to my bedroom and check my phone or go on a game #See what i mean?

[thelightlessflame]

hey if you like wtnv and tma and you haven’t already binged it in a glorious auditory feast, consider listening to Old Gods of Appalachia. it’s fucking sick as hell and also scary and it has INCREDIBLE sound

#mine #old gods pod is SO GOOD YALL #the way it twines the mundane awfulness of living in coal mine country with eldritch horror is just *chef kiss* #the air is a miasmic fog the water is poison the land itself is contaminated beyond healing #and below it all is the thick layer of bones from the miners we've sent down into the depths #who we have sacrificed to keep the beast slumbering for just a little longer #the familiarity of it makes me think there needs to be a horror pod about the ohio river valley #if i owned recording equipment and didn't have the voice of a prepubescent mouse on helium i'd make one myself #weird shit happens here okay

[if-th3n-else]

My cat is sick because of shedding season 😔

#misc #for two days he vomitted massive fur balls #but now he probably has his stomach irritated so he can't eat without vomitting #:( #i mean he understands it cause he doesn't eat a lot #and if he keep dieting for the rest of the weelend it's probably gonna be fine #everytime it happens i just have to keep him from eating #so his stomach can heal itself #you know like us #but for now it's fine cause he's not complaining too much #but once he's hungry i will die #anyway I hate shedding season #otherwise he's normal #like more calm obviously #but still reactive #also his throat must be irritated has well cause his meowing sounds like a broken growl

[mahou-no-momo]

What people don't tell you about the Healing Journey™️ is that it's very similar to mental wellness journeys. It's not linear, there's still trauma to unpack, you'll be sad sometimes. Sometimes you'll feel really hurt about the past. The thing is, just like mental wellness journeys, you need to learn to treat yourself right when you get like that. You have to give yourself the space to feel those emotions, to handle them, to move on when it's time to move on to something else instead of wallowing in that. You need to know what to do to love yourself at your lowest and feed your inner child. Feed your soul. Don't beat yourself up when you're trying to live your best life and suddenly feel like shit or remember bad things that make you sad. You're a human being and you're supposed to feel those things. Healing is not linear. Mistakes will be made. Sadness comes and goes. And that's okay.

#mostly for myself #I'm in my Healing Era but some days I just get down right inconsolable for no reason #It's the Trauma™️ I know but still #I'm doing great for myself rn #it's just hard to keep growing and feeling like the other shoe will drop at any moment #it's terrifying and frustrating #But I allow myself to feel that #I was thinking about other people and how they also get upset that they aren't magically healed and happy 24/7 #Folk...the depression is there to stay if it's been more than a year #you gotta manage it #you have to treat it like a sad friend who needs to be cared for #That's how you should treat yourself when your mind will not quiet itself from that trauma #vent #personal

[theinfinitedivides]

TABBER?????? WHAT THE F*CK????????

#tabber #honjowolf #태버 #you.will.knovv #kim hyun joon #kim hyun jun #krnb #khiphop #how do you start an album like that and then just keep going. is this man ok bc i'm not ok #Healing Killing has a gun to my head now the actual f*ck?????? #the intro to STFUTM feels so much like it could have been on DEMT there is so much!!!!!!!!!!! so much going on here hello #don't make me speak on Creepin' bc if i speak. ik that was a pre-release and that it f*cking slapped but hearing it in the context #of the rest of his material is another thing by itself shut up shut up leave me alone i can't do this #and Being. Tabber said it's citypop era and brought Ye Rin with him sedate me pls #only thing that gets points taken away is that i am not feeling the studio version of want YOU but ykw Invisible Man comes on #and i immediately forget about that like what. what is the first minute why is it working like that #first full length release since 2020 i'm losing it #i don't have a ranking rn but whatever happens know that HK will 100% be on top like he had me from there