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serendipitous-magic · 3 years

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what's your writing process like? do you plot things out beforehand? or do you sort of write it as it comes? a mix of both?

Depends on what I'm writing!

In general I'm a planner. I can't write from a blank page, unless I'm just like... really really captivated by whatever I'm writing, which was what happened with the first chapters of both The Art of Living Your (Second) Life and The Partnership Plan.

a) In general, if it's a fanfiction I'm writing, I tend to build the plan as I write - meaning, oftentimes I'll be inspired to write the first chapter, and I'll write that with little idea what the rest of it will be. Or, even if I have an idea what the rest will be, it's more of a vague skeleton than a full plan. And then, as I continue to write, I think more about where the story is going and I continuously add to and refine my plan kind of alongside the actual writing. In this way, the plan grows at the same time that the actual chapters do - but because the chapters take significantly longer to write than planning does, the plan outpaces the "real" writing and I usually know the basic story arc from fairly early on. Then it's just a matter of fleshing it out, adding detail, writing down scenes I thought of, etc. And then when I get to that point in the actual writing, I have a framework in place already.

-_-_-

b) Sometimes for fanfic, I have a more complete plan upfront - although I use "complete" here to mean "from beginning to end," not "completely detailed." So, more like a full skeleton than a full body, if that makes sense. I did that with Roll for Strength. What usually happens is that my plan will look something like...

...

Chapter One

-Will suspects Mike has a girlfriend and is kind of put out about it but thinks he's over Mike so he tells himself he doesn't care

-Will walks in on Mike and his BF (name??) and has a crisis (they don't see Will, so Will knows about Mike but Mike doesn't know that Will knows)

-Will might get off to that later, guiltily? (Or move to chapter two)

Chapter Two

-Do Mike's POV to tell about how he ended up dating a guy, how he got very disillusioned with the world after canon events and got into a "fuck it, the rules don't matter and I hate them anyway" mentality, which eventually snowballed into him kind of realizing and accepting his sexuality earlier than usual fanon

-Also introduce BF (name??) in a scene

-Set time and place - season should set the mood if not already mentioned in Ch 1

-Maybe also do BF's POV briefly to introduce him?? Or leave that for later

...

Etc.

And that's the original skeleton plan. And then it gets expanded upon more and more and more as I continue to think about the story, sometimes even with full pages' worth of unbroken text blocks as I get inspired and start basically thought-vomiting an entire scene. So by the time I get around to actually writing it, it might look like the above, or it might be a few steps shy of an actual draft already, depending on how much I've thought about / worked on that part.

See #5 in this writing advice post to see what I mean about a "thought vomit" draft.

-_-_-

c) Here's the thing - the above was for fanfic, or for short stories, or stories that I'm just kind of having fun with.

For original stuff, I adhere much more tightly to the "rules," because the guidelines for original work (that you might try to publish in the actual publishing market) are much stricter - and for good reason! Fanfiction is a sandbox, and we're all invested in the characters and worlds and settings already. We're all reading and writing fanfic because we already love these characters and this world, and we just want to play in it.

It's a different situation with original novels that you hope to publish. The plot, pacing, tension, and story beats have to be much, much tighter and more polished. Because people reading original work have no prior reason to be invested in it or care what happens - that's work that you have to do. For fanfic, that work was done for you by the original thing. Not to mention, the publishing world is so absolutely choked with competition, and the emphasis lies so heavily on sales, that if your book isn't fucking top-tier compelling, no publisher or agent will take a second look at it. Which is kind of unfortunate, because there's value in slower, more relaxed, more reflective storytelling, too - it's just not what capitalism has decided to value, which is sad.

But anyway.

When writing an original thing, I basically need a full plan - beginning to end, covering all plot points. Not necessarily all the details, just all the plot points - I need a skeleton and I need connective tissue. The rest comes later. But to start, I need to know what happens, why, and how the characters get from event to event. I need to know the physical story events, the emotional beats, and how those things logically flow throughout the story.

Some people can write without this and it still turns into a compelling story, tight narrative, etc. I envy these people. I have all respect for these people. I cannot do this. If I write original work with no plan, and especially without at least like 50-75% of a plan, I end up with something slow, meandering, and kind of limp. No bueno.

So, I usually use a beat sheet.

What's a beat sheet?

It's a 15-beat plotting structure used by screenwriters. And, yeah, technically it's for movies / screenplays. But storytelling is storytelling. And it's highly flexible. (And my favorite professor ever taught it to me in college so you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.)

Google it. It's what I use to make sure my (original work) plots are tight, have momentum, have a satisfying character arc, etc.

Okay, okay, I'll paste the basic structure below just so you can see wtf I'm talking about:

-_-_-

-Act I:

1) The First Frame

-What is the first thing we see? This should be a snapshot of the main character’s problem, before the story begins

-Ex: the Star Destroyer in A New Hope

2) The World Around Us

-What is the main character’s world like at the beginning of the story?

-What is missing in the main character’s life?

3) State the Theme (sneak this into The World Around Us)

-What is the story secretly about? This should happen during The World Around Us

4) Inciting Incident (smol tentpole)

-What happens to put the hero on the road? This is where the hero’s life changes forever.

5) The Hero Questions

-1st introspective moment

-Can the hero really do this? Should the hero chicken out?

-Oftentimes the hero fails at something

-Ex: Luke gets his ass beat by the raiders

-Act II:

6) Crossing the Threshold / The Emotional Hurdle (big tentpole)

-The main character makes a choice

-Beginning of Act II

7) The B Story / The Love Story

-Introduced here

-Often but not always a love story

8) Promise of the Premise

-Fun and games in the world you promised

-Horror movie? Creeps here!

-Sci fi? Space battles!

-Animation? Shenanigans!

9) Midpoint (big tentpole)

-The hero finds out that what they want is not what they need

-Luke rescues the princess - turns out that’s not really what the story was about

10) Bad Guys Close In / Throwing Rocks

-Events conspire to tear the hero’s goal to shreds

-Wesley is mostly dead, Inego is drunk, Fezzick is part of the brute squad

-This is the other side of the fun and games coin where things are no longer fun

11) All is Lost

-Something super bad happens, and that goal is impossible

-If someone important is gonna die, it’s probably now

12) The Pit of Despair (smol tentpole)

-The hero mourns the death (if someone died) and wallows in his/her lowest point

13) Inspiration

-A fresh idea

-Act III:

14) Come and Get Some / Final Confrontation (big tentpole)

-The final confrontation - the final showdown

-A and B stories wrapping up at the same time

-The theme makes sense and the battle is engaged

15) Final Frame

-Opposite of the first frame

-The hero is changed

-_-_-

It's what I use. But hey, you don't have to. What works for me might not work for you.

I'll finish this off by pasting in a section of actual real-ass planning I have open in a document for one of my novels at this moment (it's giving me the evil eye, I swear) so you can see what I kind of mean by "thought vomiting." Also note that in my actual document, the bullet points are indented incrementally to be kind of "nestled" underneath the relevant points, if that makes sense, and that it's a whole eye-watering mess of different colors. But for Tumblr, it's this:

-_-_-

-You have to be rescued by the rest of the team, because you fell down that hole - and you are, eventually, after screaming yourself hoarse some more (plus it’s been like an hour or more now, so they have since noticed that you were missing)

-I could gloss over this, like end the chapter when you run away, and open the next one with “It takes another half hour of screaming your throat nearly bloody before the team finds you,” or something

-They berate you for chasing after ghosts - you say you didn’t find anyone down there, because you know for damn sure nobody’s gonna believe what you think you saw, and you don’t even think you believe it

-This leads to a trip to the local doctor (a clinic, probs, akin to UrgentCare), which you’re not happy with because that’s more people taking notice of you

-However, you’re also going through the change in mindset here - see below

-Note: I as the writer don’t have to worry about the paperwork or whatever that you’d normally have to fill out, getting hurt on the job, because you weren’t officially hired - however, it would be a good “humanity is okay” moment if the guy who hired you came in and helped you with the medical expenses because he felt bad - he’d also probably be a little nervous about you suing or something, but you assure him that you have zero interest in that

-I could include a funny line where the guy says he’ll pay for your doctor bill and you try to say no (being indebted to someone is bad news for you) but he insists, because he says he feels responsible, and you just kind of stare at him and then blurt, “Do you need me to kill anyone for you?” (Something you probably regret as soon as you say it, not because you expect him to accept but because you abruptly remember what happened two days ago.) (Would it be too much to also add like “You want me to murder anyone for you? You want a blowjob? I will do anything,” and he gets flustered and bats it off like “Nah, nah, nah, chill out. You’re crazy, man.” And insists that you don’t need to pay him back)

-Here’s a decision I have to make - does the guy pay for your doctor bills as well as paying for your work today (leaving you enough money to potentially split town, but you decide not to), or do you have to pay the $2,500+ in doctor bills with no insurance for the injury, which raises the stakes by depleting all your money?

-I think I like Option A best, because it gives Sam more agency as a character if they decide to stay despite having the option to leave, versus them just being stuck completely - plus I don’t know how else I’d be able to explain away you having money for the hotel

-The guy who hired you pays you for the work day here - and maybe, just maybe, that gives you barely enough to buy that used car (although, why would it? It couldn’t have been more than like $200 for 8 hours of work, maybe $300 if he was really really desperate - if it was a really cheap used car, that might give you barely enough to buy the car but literally nothing left over)

-Point being, maybe you have enough money to bolt now, if you chose to - and you have to make the choice not to

-The car you found might be a $1,500 Honda Civic (or Jeep or whatever) with a dead battery, and the guy selling it says it should run fine with a new battery, which you Google (apparently it would be somewhere in the range of $100-$200) - maybe you think of how nice the mechanic was for you and wonder if you could cut a bit of a deal with him, if you get this car - and if the guy pays for your trip to the doctor and pays you for the temp work, this could just tip you into the margin of being able to afford the car, if you haggle with the seller

-_-_-

Or another example, with more actual sentences:

-_-_-

-As you approach the trailer you start to register a smell that turns your stomach - something like a porta potty and something like the sharp tang of rusting metal. It makes you pause - maybe there really is someone in there, using the place to live whether there’s a sewage hookup or not - it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing you’ve heard of. But after standing for a bit, silent and listening, and then hiding behind a large tree to chuck a rock at the vehicle to no response, you continue forward. You’ll just have to be cautious. Your spirits lift when you see the door. It’s completely grown over. (Leafy vines lace over it, tangling in the handle, yellowing and unbroken. If someone is living in there, they’ve been using the window to come and go, and that doesn’t seem all too likely. Bolstered by a new swell of confidence, and picturing the unlikely riches you might find stashed away in a cabinet or a glove compartment, you cross the last few feet towards the shape.

-You find the body and recognize it as one of the two obnoxious vlogging dudes from the motel

-I’m kind of imagining the moment of discovery like the wardrobe moment in Narnia where, during your nice forest trek, there’s been some pleasant acoustic music playing (like All the Pretty Girls by Kaleo maybe) and then it just stops abruptly in the middle of a phrase, maybe echoing slightly, when you see the body, and all at once everything is sickly silent.

-Oh dude, maybe you continue thinking it’s a duffel bag (possibly feeling pretty upbeat, though cautious until you’re literally about to step over it, and then you happen to glance down and get a sickening, chest-slamming shock when an empty human face is staring up at you

-Note: there should be mushrooms growing in, on and around the RV, because mushrooms are Creepy

-You go to investigate the RV

-Maybe you recognized the body as one of the vloggers and you’re trying to see if his friend is around - or maybe, in a kind of sick daze, you short circuit and find yourself doing the only thing you can think to do: continuing along your trajectory, stumbling towards the RV and tearing the rusted-out door free from the lattice of brittle vines that held it in place (this is what alerts The Dude that someone has been here), like if you just get to your original goal that’ll fix everything - somehow, if you just keep moving forward on the track you set out on, that thing won’t be real anymore - at the very least you have to get inside, to put a door between you and the body, like you’re pulling the blankets over your head to shield yourself from the boogeyman. Just as long as you’re not out there with, with...

-_-_-

Anywho, I'll stop.

I apologize again for... (scrolls up for a million miles) all of that, but you asked me about my passion and now you pay the price, lmao.

#asks #anon #writing #writing advice #i guess?#my writing #thought vomit draft #also you get a sneak peek at The Vanishing Day I guess lmao

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sapphicunicorn · 5 years

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Year One: DNF

DNF at chapter fourteen. Back to the library!

This was my first, and possibly only, Nora Roberts. I just didn’t get it? And the writing style wasn’t my thing. There was a lot of repetition, like, the characters literally repeat what they just said. Literally repeat what they just said.

The characters weren’t interesting. The only two I liked were Arlys and Fred, and after skipping ahead, I saw they disappear later in the book and we continue to follow Lana. Boring, boring Lana. And there’s all this talk of The One and a random wizard straight out of a fantasy novel appears to lay down prophecy and I just… didn’t get it??? But the atmosphere was cool. The silence, the doom, the barbaric nature of men in a crisis. Yeah, it was depressing and I struggled to get through the chapters Arlys and Fred were in the subway tunnels. So for being a doomsday novel, the atmosphere was spot on.

State of Wonder: DNF

DNF around page 200-something. Back to the library, babe. I found the idea of the book intriguing, especially about big pharma business, but it doesn’t truly play into anything. It takes at least 200 pages for Marina to even get to the Amazon. The poor girl was in her forties, had enough life experiences that were glanced over, so you might think that she was compelling and complex and fleshed out as our main character. Nope. Marina was flat. The surrounding characters, especially two people who were described as bohemians and were supposed to be fun and quirky, were flat. The writing was flat. The pace was glacial. Flipping through the book, nothing changes. What should be exciting and overwhelming is described as drab and gray as a rain cloud. There are, I think, six pages of a hypothetical conversation that goes in circles. Marina never pops out as a real character, her entire purpose of going to the Amazon is pushed aside and forgotten. The ending was beyond dumb. I’ve been wanting to read The Magician’s Assistant for a long time and haven’t been able to find a Patchett book until now, but after State of Wonder, I’m not sure I actually want to read it now…

The Silent Patient: DNF

DNF at page 65. I couldn’t get into it. I couldn’t take Theo’s ego anymore, or the filler conversations that added no depth to characters. Or the way women were portrayed. I understand his ego plays into the story later on but wow. Just wow. The book mentions film rights, and I’m assuming it was written as a screenplay first and then turned into a novel.

Skimming ahead, the characters are wooden and women are overly sexualized beasts. Don’t get me wrong; I love women who embrace their need for satisfaction. We’re humans, too. But sex plays into betrayal, and just about every mention is either a bargaining chip or cheating in a relationship. Ew.

The twist is decent, not groundbreaking, but decent. Again, it plays into Theo’s massive ego. I’m just not sure it’s a good enough pay off for me to suffer through the whole thing. There were two (two and a half, three?) pages of text wall where Theo describes his dependency on marijuana. In college. Far in the past. Like, I get it. You had problems in your family and used drugs to escape. Do I need long walls of text of every tiny detail, including your own therapy sessions? No, I can figure out context clues.

Anyway, this thing is going back to the library. And maybe it’s just my version. The version my library has is an ARC. Maybe the full release was touched up?

Wish You Were Here: 2 ½ stars

Another day, another chick lit. Another book where the heroine doesn’t realize her worth until a man teaches her. The pace was break-neck, the writing wasn’t anything special. For a book that’s supposed to be emotional, there was a huge disconnect because none of the characters really felt anything. We were just told there was a lot of crying or smiling or squinting. But I guess the message was sweet?

The Royal Runaway: 2 ½ stars

I didn’t really feel one way or another about this book. There was no chemistry between Nick and Thea; neither one really had a personality, just a few traits. The plot was… silly? It started out as a legitimate mystery but didn’t last. The writing wasn’t anything special; Thea didn’t have a voice, didn’t explain herself or her surroundings. Everything was flat but it made for a quick, easy read.

The Face of Deception: 3 stars

There was always a trend of "one of the guys" women in cop thrillers during the 90s, and this book was no different. Except. Except it was kind of different. Eve isn't part of a police crew, she doesn't rub elbows with the FBI, doesn't carry a gun. She has more humanity than the other women I've read in this genre, and she's still recovering from the trauma of losing her child to a murderer. She's not a fan of violence. She's desperate to protect others, but she knows she doesn't need a gun to do it. Her weakness and vulnerability was a breath of fresh air compared to other women in her genre.

Sisters of Heart and Snow: 3 stars

What a genuinely cozy read! As much as I hate chick lit, I found myself gobbling this one up. The sisters kind of bored me, but Tomoe’s story kept me reading. And reading. And reading. And surprisingly, even though it’s chick lit, not everything was wrapped up in a neat little bow. Not every problem can be fixed.

Nearly Gone: 3 stars

Wait, a YA book that I actually liked??? The plot was enough to carry the book that the “supernatural” element of Nearly being able to feel emotions was pointless. Were there cliches? Sure. But I got duped! A YA that actually tricked me! I kinda have to like it. Oh, and the writing was nice; Nearly wasn’t a thirty year old narrator stuck in high school. But on the opposite side of the spectrum, Nearly really needs to get a life outside of her new boyfriend. Once again a high school heroine who throws her friends aside for the boyfriend.

#booklr #book reviews #micro reviews #bookworm #young adult #ya #chick lit

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erratic-erotica · 5 years

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Hard Night: The Penising

‘Kay, so.

I don’t, historically, do the tamblr thing. But I’mma try it out anyway, because why the fuck not, right? Also because my friend, Fry, literally made a tumblr for me because I am a luddite and also a tiny frightened baby bird. But Fry shoved me out of the nest with a loving, “FLY, BITCH” and so here I am.

You don’t care about me, and that’s fine. But let me tell you a quick story before I kick things off here.

So my boyfriend (hereafter referred to as Boyfrienddicks) came home the other day from his work at a hotel. He brought with him a large sack, and dropped it on the bed, and said, “You like to read, right?”

BOY HOWDY, DO I EVER.

Boyfrienddicks continued, “So there’s this ladies’ readers group that meets at my hotel every so often, and tonight they dropped off a couple of sacks of books at the front desk. So I grabbed a sack and brought it home for you.”

As you might imagine, I was rubbing my little hands together in absolute glee, because it was shaping up to be the best day of my life. FREE BOOKS?! HELL THE FUCK YEAH, SIGN ME UP. THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE EXPENSIVE.

So I did my gimme-gimme hands and he kindly passed me the sack, at which point I simply shoved my hands into it, the better to fondle my new treasures. With no small amount of glee, I lifted the first one from the confines of the sack and held it up into the light like Simba on Pride Rock.

And then I faltered.

“This is smut,” I said aloud, somewhat feebly.

“What?” asked Boyfrienddicks.

“Smut,” I said, flipping the book around to show him the nearly-naked dude on the cover. “Sssssmut. Ladyboner material. Trashy romance novels.”

“Oh,” he said. “Is…is that one called Hard Night?”

“It sure is,” I replied.

He cackled for a solid minute and then insisted I read it and tell him about it.

So I did.

Anyway, Fry (and others) were amused by the prospect of reading Random Smut That Totally Didn’t Fall Off the Back of a Truck or Anything, so Fry helpfully created this…I don’t know what you call it, tumblr group? For the reading and reviewing of – not carefully selected and deliberately chosen romance novels, but literally whatever random romances we can find.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. Take from it what you will. Or don’t. It’s no skin off my nose.

Here’s my review of Hard Night, by Jackie Ashenden. I want to preface this by saying that it took me two whole days to finish this book because I did not want to finish this book. And not in the “I wish this would never end” sense, but rather in the “I wish I had never started this” sense.

JUST LOOK AT THIS. DISCRETION. SKILLS. SECRETS.

Hard Night starts off with our (ostensible) hero, Jacob Night, looming over our ill-fated heroine, Faith Beasley (aka Joanna Lynn), as she lies in her hospital bed, unconscious and emaciated.

She’s the only key to reuniting with his long-lost brother, because of course she is. And she’s also probably his brother’s lover. Or something. But he found her too late, and now she’s clearly been roughed up, and, as a result, has developed amnesia. Because of course she has.

What’s a fella to do with that, except to claim he’s her cousin and take her home to live with him, which, miraculously, absolutely no one questions. Did I mention he’s the one who told everyone her name is Faith Beasley? Because he did, and it’s not her name. Sergeant Doucheyacht literally took it upon himself to name this poor lady.

Anyway, not even “Faith” questions this miraculous turn of events, which is good for the plot, but bad for anyone in real life. DO NOT GO HOME WITH STRANGERS WHO DEFINITELY CANNOT PROVE THEY KNOW YOU OR THAT YOU ARE IN ANY WAY RELATED. That’s just some solid life advice from your friendly Vodka Aunt Dragondicks.

Captain Dudebro also helpfully gives her a job doing things and they rub along relatively smoothly together, despite both being tightasses of the highest caliber. Also despite the roiling sexual tension, since Jacob is constantly thinking of how awesome “Faith’s” ass looks in her tight pencil-skirts.

But he would never act on those impulses, of course.

Until one day, for no reason in particular that I have been able to ascertain, someone starts shooting at them. So off they run from sunny San Diego, all the way up the Pacific North West, where they hide out for a bit in Major Dickhead’s convenient bunker.

They spend about a day there before Jacob startles Faith in her sleep, and she just fuckin’ flips him and lays him out. Which, you know, cool. I like strong heroines as much as the next person.

So Genius McSmartypants deduces she’s probably Special Ops, just like he was before his mercenary days, and he’s like, ‘Hey. I like strong women.’ But also he’s a douche about it because he’s also like HEY BITCH YOUR REAL NAME’S JOANNA AND YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT NOW TO SUIT MY PURPOSES. BECAUSE I NEED THAT INFORMATION IN YOUR HEAD.

Dick. But I digress.

So now it’s combat training time, because maybe that’ll jog loose some memories (that Joanna/Faith clearly doesn’t want to remember). And of course, Dickheads gonna Dickhead. Somehow, fighting mysteriously turns into fucking. Fightfucking. Fuckfighting? I don’t fucking know, but there’s a lot of it in this book. Like, we took a fifty-goddamn-page fuck-break on page 86.

Eventually, however, it appears that our Noble Author realized, “Oh, shit, wait, this was actually supposed to have a plot, too.”

And the story continues. Faith remembers she’s really Joanna. And that she sort of also shot General ConstantBoner’s long-lost brother, Josh. And that she’s a Secret Badass. Also that she was never romantically involved with Josh, which is good news for Rear Admiral Knobjockey, who probably does not want to become Eskimo bros with his actual bro. Probably.

But that’s not important because we have more penising to get to.

Of course, Jacob confesses to a Tragic Past: a parade of foster homes that he was subjected to because he stabbed his pseudo-stepfather for molesting his younger twin brother, whom he really, really wants to reunite with.

Anyway, eventually Faith/Joanna realizes that telling Lieutenant Arsebarge that she totes shot his brother is probs gonna go down like a lead balloon, so she fucks off back to San Diego, because it totally makes a fuckload of sense to head right back to the same city where you got fucking shot at just a couple of days ago.

Of course, Corporal Fuckwad catches up with her in a motel, because he’s somehow GPS tagged her clothing. How? Don’t ask me. I don’t fucking know. It’s explained as “new technology.”

Anyway, more fuckfighting (fightfucking?) ensues. This time, with spanking! Scandalous! Faith also confesses to shooting his brother, because bro was part of her Special Ops team and he betrayed them for money, or whatever. To which Jacob replies something like, “Meh.”

Commandant Thundercunt realizes that they’ve been found out – there’s a car stationed right outside their motel, and this is clearly bad news. But Faith is just like, “Hey, you know what? I bet I could offer myself up as bait to those guys who have already tried to kill me. They might have info on your brother who might not actually be dead, idk.”

Of course, Colonel Fucknuts is having none of that. But she cold-cocks him and goes anyway, so it’s whatever.

But surprise surprise! Jacob’s little bro was actually the Evil Twin all along! Because he’s there with the real bad guy, whose name I disremember because I was pretty checked out by this point, not gonna lie. Started with an F. Pretty sure.

Anyway, of course Warrant Officer Fucktrumpet Supreme turns up to rescue his lady, and for reasons, Evil Twin helps them escape. Go team!

But Brigadier General Fuckface has just enough time left in the book to have a Crisis of Conscience! He is just no good for Faith! He’s a Bad Man! He has done Bad Things! He doesn’t deserve the Love of a Good Woman!

Faith, of course, drowns her sorrows in whiskey for a couple of hours before one of Chief Petty Officer First Class Bumblefuck’s friends (yes, incredibly, this man has friends) shows up to be like, “Hey. He is actually a Good Guy. I know because I know many things. You should totally just hop right back up on his dick.”

And Faith is like, “Time to get my man back,” or some shit. So off she goes, to confront Ensign Twatwaffle in his natural habitat. He’s taken aback, of course, but powerless to resist her charms (and vagina, presumably). There is more fuckfighting, and probably spanking, and then there’s THE END.

Did I mention this book was dedicated to Darth Vader, because of the author’s love of “dark heroes”? I don’t think that means what she thinks it means.

I AM NOT EVEN SHITTING YOU.

Remember, kids. I read it – so you don’t have to.

Love,

#romance novel

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needsmoresarcasm · 5 years

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Favorite Books of 2018

I read a lot of books in 2018. Here are my favorites (not counting books I re-read), in basically no order. (But actually kind of an order.)

22. Going Rogue, Drew Hayes

Going Rogue is the third book in Drew Hayes’s Spells, Swords, and Stealth series. The series is told in two parts: it follows a group of people playing a Dungeons & Dragons-style role-playing game and a group of non-playable characters in the world of said game. The thrust of the story is on the group of NPCs, which unfolds as a typical fantasy adventure. It’s got a straightforward quest narrative, an adventuring party (turned found family), and impossible odds. As the stories progress, the players begin to sense that the game has its own agency and the characters begin to sense that there may be someone controlling their world. But mostly it’s a fun, self-aware take on a typical fantasy adventure that toys with fantasy tropes.

21. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I steeled myself for dense literary fiction when I cracked open Americanah, the story of Ifemelu, a Nigerian girl who moves to America and wrestles with race and identity. But that was all for naught because Americanah was one of the easiest reads of the year. The writing is breezy, and the story is funny and brisk. It dissects race and culture in America both by showing (Ifemelu’s struggles to define herself in a new country) and telling (Ifemelu’s hilarious blog posts). Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie seems to have perfected the art of delivering dense observations in delightful, consumer-friendly prose. Old white dude authors should probably take note.

20. What If It’s Us, Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

If I’m going to read a romance, I want it to be light, fluffy, gay, and conflict-free. And that’s exactly what What If It’s Us delivers. The book begins with a meet cute: while mailing a box of his ex-boyfriend’s stuff, Ben bumps into Arthur at the post office. Arthur and Ben are both appropriately awkward and endearing, bumbling and pawing their way through a relationship as only teenagers can. Every character is essentially kind and caring. There are no villains or bullies, no one gets ostracized or beaten, no one dies. The tension mostly stems from the fact that Arthur is only in the city for the summer, which only barely counts as a conflict. And while the universe of the story may be unrealistically polished, their relationship is refreshingly imperfect. Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli are telling a story of young love, not necessarily true love.

19. The Collapsing Empire / The Consuming Fire, John Scalzi

John Scalzi built an astoundingly engrossing world in The Collapsing Empire. The human race has colonized far flung planets with the help of the Flow system, naturally occurring pathways between various planets across the universe that allows otherwise impossible interstellar travel. The Collapsing Empire follows the sharp, sarcastic Cardenia Wu, the newly crowned empress, and sweet, in-over-his-head Marce Claremont, a Flow physicist in far-flung End who has discovered something off with the Flow. It’s got a roiling pace, packed with space battles, political jockeying, and a whole host of delightful characters. It’s one of those audiobooks (narrated by Wil Wheaton) that was so compulsively listenable that I ended up taking long, meandering walks just to hear what happened next.

18. The Shell Collector, Anthony Doerr

Anthony Doerr’s writing is incredible. His sentences all feel divined from the ether. And the short story is the perfect vehicle for that writing, lasting just long enough to build an atmospheric world. Most of the stories are tinged with a little magical realism, used mostly to underscore the unique, grounded humanity of his characters. The collection dives into the histories of people who are in various degrees removed from society and intertwined with nature. But the ultimate thesis, refreshingly, is not about the corruption of society, but rather the inherent value of people.

17. Giovanni’s Room, James Baldwin

I don’t know that I have anything new or interesting to say about James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room. A story about desire, and maybe love, between David and Giovanni, every word of that book is filled with intense, crushing emotion desperately crashing onto the pages. It’s about love and sexuality, told in an intimate-verging-on-claustrophobic manner. It’s powerful and interminably depressing and beautiful and devastating. But it’s not devastating because it’s gay, it’s just both devastating and gay.

16. Goodbye, Vitamin, Rachel Khong

Goodbye, Vitamin opens with the main character, Ruth, going through a breakup and dealing with early signs of her father’s Alzheimer’s disease. And somehow, Goodbye, Vitamin is also fun, funny, and heart-warming. The book is sunny and endearing, even as Ruth herself struggles with caring for her father and finding her own identity. Most things described as quirky may be better described as annoying, but there truly is no better word for this book’s sensibility than quirky. The specificity of the descriptions and the cleverness of the wordplay make for a delightful, sometimes deeply poignant, read.

15. Less, Andrew Sean Greer

In many ways, Less shares beats with the incredibly overdone, deeply uninteresting novel about a middle-aged white guy who goes through a midlife crisis and suffers the pain of his own brilliance. Indeed, Less follows Arthur Less as he hits fifty, gets invited to his ex’s wedding, and then travels around the world to avoid confronting any of his problems. But Less is decidedly different: it’s gay. Which means it’s funnier, sharper, and drastically more self-aware. Arthur Less - and Andrew Sean Greer - recognizes the absurdity of his disproportionate reaction to relatively minor problems. He has no delusions of grandeur. He’s not on a journey to unlock his inner genius, just a journey to maybe buy a new jacket and have a fling or two. It’s delightful and funny and warm even as it pretends not to be.

14. More Happy Than Not, Adam Silvera

The devastation of More Happy Than Not cuts in sharp pains and deep gashes. The tragic turns - and in a book about a teenage kid who considers a science fiction equivalent of gay conversion therapy there are many - come as punches to the face, not as lingering aches. And yet, the book doesn’t feel punishing to read. Adam Silvera derives no pleasure from Aaron’s, the aforementioned teen, suffering and carefully builds the foundation of Aaron’s character on his triumphs and joys. Aaron’s life is vibrant and bristling with possibility, streaked, but not consumed, by pain. More Happy Than Not is meticulously plotted and paced, with a few moments of genuine surprise. As always, Adam Silvera writes about tragedy in an entirely uncynical way, with a deep well of generosity for his characters.

13. Witchmark, C.L. Polk

In many ways, Witchmark feels like the book I spent this entire year trying to find. Witchmark takes place in a pseudo-historical early 20th century England-style setting, in the throes of some capital-W War. Most of the book is styled as a mystery: Miles, a former army doctor, and Tristan, a mysterious outsider, track down clues and chase leads to find a murderer. And, of course, maybe they fall in love along the way. And, oh yeah, Miles is a witch. Oh and also, maybe there’s some royal family drama happening as well. And maybe also some government conspiracies. And also maybe a much larger mystery that involves all of the above. There’s magic and romance and mystery and intrigue and action, and every part of it is completely satisfying. Especially if you’re the type of person who would like to read a scene in which said army doctor needs help undressing because he broke his wrist, and luckily there’s (literally magically) handsome mystery man there to help him!!! (Listen, I never said this was particularly profound literature.) But like, five stars.

12. Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore / Sourdough, Robin Sloan

If you want a cozy, feel-good novel that has just the slightest dash of magic, then pick up a Robin Sloan book. Both Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore and Sourdough read as relaxing balms to help soothe aches brought on by the disaster fire of reality. In both books, a young twenty-something attempting to figure out their life discovers a niche world (book collecting and bread baking) and gets swept up in a fantastical mystery. They’re breezy, warm, and brimming with genuine affection and curiosity for the subjects at their centers. Sloan’s writing is incredibly sensory; you can taste the bread and smell the books. They have that Great British Bake Off quality to them: impossibly compelling despite low stakes and uniform pleasantness.

11. Little Fires Everywhere, Celeste Ng

Celeste Ng’s second novel is a careful study of privilege of all sorts, and an especially incisive look into whiteness. Little Fires Everywhere takes place in Shaker Heights, Ohio, a progressive slice of white suburbia. At the book’s center are the Richardsons, a well-off white family who are the types of people that may tell you that they don’t see race--in part because everyone they see is also white. Things get shaken up when Mia Warren and her daughter Pearl arrive in town, marked as strange by their relative lack of wealth, and marked as even stranger by their lack of shame about it. Each sentence is beautifully written, and each paragraph immaculately constructed. But honestly, the book is best summed up as: this is some white people nonsense.

10. The Lymond Chronicles (#1-6), Dorothy Dunnett

The Lymond Chronicles books are both the most high brow and most low brow books I read this year. They are densely written and plotted, with an inexhaustible supply of names for characters and teeming with minute details that almost all portend some future event or revelation. But they’re also chock-full of soap opera-style twists and tropes, aimed to quench your id’s every desire. All this makes for books that demand a lot, but then pay off with hilarious jokes, action sequences that convey more physicality and movement than most movies, and ridiculous third act reveals that are so incredibly satisfying. And like, on a selfish level, it’s also real satisfying to read about people falling in love with and then aggressively berating Francis Crawford for three thousand pages. (He deserves it.)

9. My Life as a Goddess, Guy Branum

I read, or rather listen to, tons of memoirs - by comedians, actors, politicians, and writers. And Guy Branum’s My Life as a Goddess is easily my favorite of the year. Branum incisively writes about growing up as a gay kid in truly the-middle-of-nowhere California, touching on issues of masculinity, sexuality, class, body image, and education. Unsurprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is hilarious, chock-full of jokes and witty observations. More surprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is also deeply emotional, especially as Branum writes about his relationship as his father. Even more surprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is weirdly informative about a very specific slice of Canadian history. I cannot recommend the audiobook of this enough, as Guy Branum’s narration is smart, funny, and winning.

8. All the Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr

Does anyone really want to read a Pulitzer Prize winning literary fiction novel written by some white dude about World War II half from the point of view of a goddamn Nazi? No. No one wants to read that. Except, maybe I do. Because that’s exactly what All the Light We Cannot See is, and man is it a true revelation. The sheer humanity that Doerr imparts in his story creates a profoundly moving story, about goodness and cruelty and the indiscriminate destruction of war. The events of the story are uniformly bleak, as expected in a World War II novel, and yet the book’s tone feels decidedly hopeful, hungry to extract optimism from human persistence. It’s a stunningly written book that lays bare the complexities of people and the horrors of war.

7. Bad Blood, John Carreyrou

Bad Blood was truly the most unbelievable story I read this year. Wizards? Aliens? Time travel? All relatively believable compared to the intense, densely plotted, thrilling tale that unravels in Bad Blood, made all the more incredible by its truth. Bad Blood tells the story of Theranos, a Silicon Valley startup that claimed to be revolutionizing blood testing, and its founder Elizabeth Holmes, once described on magazine covers as “the next Steve Jobs.” John Carreyrou, the author, was the journalist who first broke the story of Theranos’s rampant fraud, and he stitches together a coherent, mesmerizing narrative from first-hand accounts of Theranos employees. Elizabeth Holmes is a fascinating antagonist, an ambitious, callous, maybe sociopath. The story is exciting and frustrating and will make you have even less faith in rich, powerful white people. But because this is non-fiction, the entire time you know that Elizabeth Holmes is eventually going to end up being charged with numerous federal crimes. A truly satisfying ending.

6. Hyperbole and a Half, Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh didn’t invent the internet, but she at least has as much claim to modern internet culture as any other individual. Hyperbole and a Half is a collection of her best blog posts, with some additional, equally hilarious, stories thrown in. I hadn’t revisited her blog in years, and so it was striking just how little her style has aged. In a time where internet memes have life spans measured in hours, Hyperbole and a Half feels fresh nearly a decade later. The influence of her style and perspective on the internet is far-reaching. From the hilarious (her distinctively drawn self-rendering triumphantly declaring “CLEAN ALL THE THINGS” while holding a broom) to the insightful (her two-part essay on the amorphous gray muck of depression), her stories all feel as though they could be the origin story for any piece of internet ephemera. Hyperbole and a Half is at times farcical, at times poignant, and always raucously funny.

5. Shades of Magic (#1-3), V.E. Schwab

The Shades of Magic series (A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, and A Conjuring of Light) is the perfect fantasy adventure: the characters are imminently rootable, the world is seeped in magic, and the plot is intoxicating. The books are set in London, or Londons, rather. There are four parallel Londons, which have embraced, rejected, or surrendered to magic to varying degrees. Our protagonist, Kell, is one of the few with the ability to travel between the different Londons. And, well, hijinks ensue. Dark, sprawling, brutal, violent, life-consuming hijinks.

The Shades of Magic series is unburdened by its worldbuilding; V.E. Schwab could probably teach a semester’s worth of history lessons on her world, but does not feel the need show that off in the books themselves. They’re books to be devoured, not dissected. But it’s the characters that make the series so engrossing. Everyone is an archetype-a street-worn thief, a charming prince-but so well-drawn and understood that every character moment sparkles. And the central relationship of the book, between Kell and his brother Rhy, felt as though it was perhaps extracted directly from my brain. Kell is stoic, burdened by responsibility but determined to protect. Rhy, the aforementioned charming prince, injects Kell’s life with mischief and levity, and they’re so fundamentally dedicated to each other that it hurts. If a bunch of well-meaning idiots trying to save the world with magic is your thing, A Darker Shade of Magic may be the series for you.

4. Everything I Never Told You, Celeste Ng

If you thought a quiet, contained rumination on race, gender, nationality, and culture couldn’t also be a compelling, tense page-turner, let me introduce you to Everything I Never Told You. Everything I Never Told You is nothing short of literary alchemy. It begins with the death of Lydia, the model daughter of the Lee family--and, really, the model daughter of 1970s America. The book unravels the mystery of Lydia’s death, told through the vignettes from the lives of the Lee family members.

Celeste Ng is a master at using a paragraph to describe years of a character’s history and decades of American society all at once. Her characters are specific and sharply drawn, rooted deeply in their time and environment. Lydia, with a Chinese father and a white mother, is mixed race (a term not added to the U.S. Census until 2000)--“one of only two Orientals” at her school. The other, her brother Nathan, has learned to live in Lydia’s shadow in their parents’ mind’s eye. Marilyn, Lydia’s mother, had her own ambitions sidelined by family. With a deft, heartfelt touch, Everything I Never Told You viscerally conveys their regrets for the words left unsaid and lives left unlived.

3. History Is All You Left Me, Adam Silvera

As this list makes clear, I loved a lot of Adam Silvera this year, and History Is All You Left Me stands out as my favorite. In dual timelines, History Is All You Left Me tells the story of Griffin after and up to the accident in which his ex-boyfriend Theo dies unexpectedly. And so, yes, the book is soaked in grief and loss. And, yes, it’s devastating and aching. But it’s also incredibly kind and empathetic. The characters are teenagers and make the choices of teenagers. Their actions are messy and rash and stupid, and Silvera leans into that, landing more than one self-inflicted heart-wrenching blow. But Silvera is also unfailingly patient with teenagers and understands their resilience; he lets his characters make mistakes and has faith that they will survive. And so the book is heavy, but optimistic. A refreshing reprieve from the gratuitous suffering and bleakness that tortures so much LGBT-themed fiction. History Is All You Left Me is the most affecting book I read all year, and it still lingers in my bones. But the impression it has left is of life, not loss.

2. An American Sickness, Elisabeth Rosenthal

I bristle when someone describes a book as “important.” It always seems patronizing and self-serving, and my natural contrarian kicks in. I get it, you want to tell everyone how well-read or socially conscious you are because you read an “important” book. So it is with eyes wide open, and more than a twinge of self-loathing, that I say An American Sickness is an important book. It feels like essential reading, certainly for anyone trying to affect American healthcare policy, and at the very least useful for anyone who ever has to deal with the American healthcare system. It will make you angry and frustrated, but hopefully it will also arm you with information.

An American Sickness is broken up into two distinct parts: the first half lays out the issues with the current healthcare system, including how it came to be, and the second half presents solutions. Dr. Elisabeth Rosenthal writes accessibly about potentially dry, dense subject matter. The book’s purpose is not to exhaustively detail the history of healthcare, but to better equip the average person to navigate the system. Dr. Rosenthal provides anecdotes to anchor the matter in tangible issues and gives just enough context to sketch the motivations of the various actors - doctors, hospitals, insurers, pharma companies, etc. She presents solutions from two perspectives: (1) changing healthcare policy as a whole, and (2) navigating the system as an individual. In a methodical, step-by-step manner, the book explains concrete things a regular person can look out for, questions they can ask, and actions they can take to avoid--or challenge--exorbitant medical bills. There’s literally an appendix with fill-in-the-blank form letters to use to request billing information and challenge bills. You don’t have to read this book, but I want you to.

1. Chemistry, Weike Wang

Sometimes a book is so intimately catered to you it’s as if the author waded through your subconscious, fished out the tangled threads of your thoughts, and then wove them into a tapestry that displayed every single one of your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. For me, that book is Chemistry. Chemistry follows an unnamed Asian American protagonist who is discontented with her current situation: her long-term boyfriend, her Chemistry PhD program, and her relationship with her parents. And the novel unfolds as she comes to terms with that discontentment.

The economy of Weike Wang’s writing is spellbinding. She uses words so efficiently and so cleverly to craft sentences that seem fundamental. On seemingly every page, there was a new observation that felt so obviously true that I was surprised I had never read those exact words before. The book is filled with jokes, driven by the protagonist’s wry sarcasm and gentle disdain for things and people generally. The whole thing is somehow both simple and complex, an easily digestible read with a deceptively complex flavor. There are no splashy revelations or sudden tragedies, only hard-earned emotional truths and the realities of getting by. Chemistry nails the general spirit of just attempting to function as a normal human person in 2018.

#books #weike wang #adam silvera #celeste ng #ve schwab

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thewritingpossum · 6 years

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You say 'ask me about my hatred for Rainbow Rowell', so now I'm curious...who are they and what did they do?

Ok, so I’ve had this thing in my blog description for litteral years and you’re only the second person who ever reacted to it, bless your soul, truly. It’s gonna be a super long answer tho so I apologize in advance if it bores you to tears. Also there’s some spoilers for her book Eleanor & Park in this thing, if anyone care about that.

So Rainbow Rowell is a ya novels writer who happens to be highly popular around here (I also think she actually has a tumblr? I may be wrong on that point tho) and who was ever more popular around 2013 when she published her first book, Eleanor & Park, a love story between a fat, non-conventionally attractive girl dealing with abuse and poverty and a mixed race (white and korean) boy dealing with a bit of an identity crisis, all of that with a cool 80’s background. Sounds pretty cool, eh? That’s what I thought but…No.

First of all, this book is incredibly racist. Park (the half-korean boy) has a severe case of self-hatred and internalized racism. He wished he looked like his strong, all-american looking brother who even has an american name and is so much more mainly and can even drive shift (he’s supposed to be his baby brother who is like 13 but I get miss Rowell got confused with her own timeline). I don’t have a problem with that in itself: I can totally imagine a teenager growing up in a mainly white community dealing with that.

My problem is with the ‘resolution’ of the problem: Park realize that Eleanor (the “chubby” girl) prefers asian guy and since obviously the marker of wether you’re worth anything or not is how appealing you are to white women, he magically get over his issues. Eleanor also spent the whole book fetishizing and otherizing the ever lasting christ out of her boyfriend. She constantly refers to him (in her head, to be fair) as “that asian kid”, “that stupid asian kid”, “that stupid, beautiful asian boy” and being sooooo into the fact that he’s asian (and has magical green eyes that are so different and non-asian but sooo pretty ). It’s very uncomfortable to read, tbh.

If you think that’s bad, wait until we get to her mother, who is quite litterally a racist caricature. Mindy (an americanized version of Min-Dae -which is not even an actual korean name, no more than Park but it’s whatever at this point) is a manucurist spoking broken english who gets compared to china dolls by one of the main character. She was born in Korea but was “brought home” by her american husband, a soldier who was stationned in her country (it’s already yikes enough and only get worst when you learn that Rainbow based that whole mess on a picture that she found of her own military dad with a woman in korean: I mean, I guess it’s your prerogative to write romantic fanfictions about your parents but like…The reality of thing is that there were no love story between american soldiers and the women of the countries they occuped and it’s time for her to accept it).

We also get two black characters, who are Eleanor’s best and only friends (only that she don’t really appear to give two fucks about them). They’re named Denice and Beebi, names that reaaaaally stand out in a negative way when compared to all white people’ names and they speak…Well, the way black characters in 80’s teen movies made by white people speak. One of them (I don’t remember which one) is dating a much older boy and planning to marry him after high school because that’s what black girls do, right? So yeah, I truly believe that this book is one of the most racist published in the 2010’s that I’ve personnally read. But that’s actually just part of why I hate it and loath it’s writer.

I also absolutely despise the way Rowell writes about abuse: a huge plot point is that Eleanor endure mental, emotional and (if I remember correctly) physical abuses from her step-father, abuses that escalade to sexual harrasment. Her step-father favores Eleanor’s sibling, including his own biological son but he’s also abusive to them and severely abusive to his wife, Eleanor’s mom. That’s some heavy stuff, and if you chose to put that in ya novel (or any novel for that matter), I expect you to be able to handle that sensibly and in a way that make sense, at the very least. I don’t think Rainbow Rowell even tried.

Spoiler alert on how this book end: Eleanor run away from home, starts living with her uncle, the rest of her family escape a little later and her step-father stay alone and brooding in town. WTF?? The idea that abusive men would just be like “oh well, guess I have to accept that my wife left with our children and there’s nothing I can do uwu” is literally stupid. Either the writer didn’t bother making even the most basic researches on abuse dynamics or she did and chose to ignore it. And even outside of that…Talk about a deus ex machina and a cheap fucking ending lmao…

I only read another one of her book, Fangirl. It’s about a girl with anxiety disorder writing gay fanfics and was understandly popular on tumblr when it came out (i’m not hating btw, like…I’m a mentally ill binch writing gay stories so..). I didn’t found it as offensive as Eleanor & Park but her portrayal of mental illnesses was basic and often bordering on insensitivity (I really felt like one of the character’s bipolar disorder was treated as an inconvenience to other characters above anything else).

Also, the anxious character spent a huge chunk of the book eating energy bar because she’s too afraid to leave her room and go eat in the dining hall…Girl, I’m supposed to believe you spend your whole time on your computer and you never heard of ordering takeout online?? Or just going to buy shits to eat at the supermarket?? How far am I supposed to suspend my disbelief to enjoy those books?

One last thing: a huge chunk of Fangirl is an actual fanfiction about some HP ripoff. Well, my homegirl Rainbow published a whole damn book about her actual Drarry fanfiction. I love fanfiction but I really think there’s something sketchy about putting a fake fandom in your book that’s very obviously based on an existing piece of work and then making money off your imitation but maybe that’s just me.

I would probably be able to chill a bit if Rainbow Rowell was not generally presented at this great representation queen who can do no wrong (and yes, I’m aware that she’s not responsible for the way people chose to portray her). Luckily for me, she’s somehow less popular on Tumblr that she once was and I get to have a break from her weird bullshit.

#this is so long and i feel i don't even say that much but oh well #y'all know i can't express even the more basic concept in less than 218729 words #anti rainbow rowell #racism #racism in ya #answer #cedrwyndden

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paulisweeabootrash · 5 years

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Book Review: Princess Holy Aura

An earlier version of this post was published on Facebook on April 30, 2018.

PAUL IS WEEABOO TRASH; or, Paul Reviews... A Book?!

Q: A book? So, like, you're reviewing based on the first volume of a manga series or something?

A: No, a novel.

Q: A novel.

A: Yeah.

Q: Why not manga? You have a problem with it? Are you being snobby about what kinds of books are better than others?

A: No, not at all. Manga is just another kind of literature. I just felt like doing this novel because it's relevant to--

Q: How? Oh! Is it a novel that an anime is based on? One of those outrageously-long light novel serieses?

A: No.

Q: A visual novel? That seems like something you'd review.

A: No, it's a Western print novel, and there's no anime based on it. But I swear it's relevant.

Q: Relevant...? Hm.

A: Because it's--

Q: Is it something mentioned in an anime or something else you'd review? Oh! Is it "Hyperion"?

A: No.

Q: ..."Portrait of Markov"?

A: That's not a real book.

Q: Well what then?

A: It's a novel about a magical girl.

Q: Oh. Huh. Weird. Proceed. -----

EPISODE 8: Princess Holy Aura (2017)

Princess Holy Aura by Ryk E. Spoor is a magical girl story for people who are familiar with the genre and find its absurdities at least as endearing as they are frustrating. It's a sort of affectionate parody. We follow the normal progression of certain famous magical girl anime — the mascot (a magic rat named Silvertail) giving our heroine her powers, the escalating danger of fights with an otherworldly enemy (an assortment of creatures derived from Japanese and American pop culture and folklore), meeting and bonding with a whole team of magical girls (the Apocalypse Maidens) — with some added twists and an awareness of the rules of the genre that allows the main character to succeed because of his ability to deconstruct what's going on.

The deconstruction is justified--

Q: Wait, did you say "his"?

A: Yes. I'm getting to that. And the pronouns are going to get confusing.

See, the reason Holy Aura is genre-savvy is that her secret identity is Stephen Russ, an impoverished thirtysomething otaku and Air Force veteran. Chosen for his intense willingness to help others and his experience with the stresses of adult life, his knowledge of magical girl shows also turns out to gives him the preparation he needs to understand and anticipate his enemies. Why? Because, as I was going to say before, the deconstruction is justified by magic-users' beliefs about magic affecting how magic works — so it's susceptible to the magic-related memes of whatever culture(s) the current crop of Apocalypse Maidens are from. This means Holy Aura and the other Apocalypse Maidens apply knowledge of various media conventions to figure out, and sometimes anticipate, their enemies.

The other four magical girls, for magical plot contrivance reasons, are actual teenage girls, so Stephen must go undercover as "Holly Owen", Holy Aura's eyeroll-inducing normal human girl form, to find and recruit them. Stephen/Holly deals with the strangeness of abandoning his old life and adjusting to his role — not just physically, but because of how his status as small, young and female now drastically change how others interact with him. This leads to one of my favorite things about the story: how it describes Stephen/Holly's adjustment. Each Apocalypse Maiden is partially herself, but also a cumulative reincarnation of every previous version of the Maiden they are. So Holly not only has Stephen's memories, but those of every previous person to become Princess Holy Aura, all of whom up to this point have apparently been actual teenage girls. As Stephen adjusts to the radically different physical form of Holly, and the differences in treatment that come with it, he also finds himself feeling more and more "right", as if Holly is the "original" and Stephen the assumed persona. This is true not only of acting like a high school girl but also true of her physical body. Stephen's crisis of identity as he realizes he is becoming Holly to the point that his own male body becomes just plain disorienting to walk around in feels genuine and understandable.

The gradual shift from Stephen to Holly eventually leads to (sigh) an inevitable romantic subplot between Holly and another student, because the genre demands it. But I actually like how uncomfortable this is for both Stephen and the reader. At this point in the story, Stephen is in a truly alien and frightening situation. Since Holly is not just a persona adopted by Stephen but has traces of the personalities and feelings of all people who have ever been Princess Holy Aura in the past, Stephen is more and more a passenger in Holly's body rather than the "driver". Stephen is becoming subsumed into Holly, a brand new person born out of the combined experiences of many. So of course Holly has feelings Stephen feels alarmed by and does things Stephen doesn't fully control, and the reader should be creeped out by contemplating what that would be like.

As the book goes on, however, its flaws also become more apparent. Expository conversations (both between heroes and between villains) are an expected part of this genre, and given that there have been many iterations of the Apocalypse Maidens vs. Lovecraftian Aliens battle in the past to learn from there is at least an in-universe justification for them, but there are so. many. of. them. Silvertail's advice in particular gets increasingly tiresome, sometimes feeling as if we're reading "Silvertail's Walkthrough Guide to Magical Girl-ing" instead of a novel, and he has far too many conveniently-helpful magical abilities despite his alleged weakness. The premise also leaves itself vulnerable to an obvious in-universe problem, which it tries to address, but not convincingly. For reasons to do with how magic works, the Apocalypse Maidens reveal themselves to their parents, and this includes them learning that Holly was previously Stephen. As you might expect, this does not go over well. Stephen is genuinely a nice guy, not a "Nice Guy", and attempts to get that message across, but the most convincing argument he can muster is basically "your daughters are safe around me because they could kill me easily if I tried to molest them even if I was in full Holy Aura mode", and worse, parents accepting the situation is explained mainly as a mixture of that reassurance and magic itself keeping the Maidens together. There is, apparently, nothing Stephen can possibly say or do to reassure them he's not a sexual predator. Maybe that's the point of those scenes? It's unclear.

That takes us most of the way (and slightly out of order) through a broad overview of the plot, and I don't want to give any spoilers for the resolution (go read it yourself!). Suffice it to say that it continues along a pretty much "first season of Sailor Moon" trajectory. And of course, the whole book ends in a way that leaves it open to a second season-- er, I mean, sequel, but still definitely ends this particular story arc. Exactly as you'd expect. Exactly as it must, according to the memes controlling magic.

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[Classic] W/A/S Scores: 4(+extra) / 1 / 4

Weeb: This is very much a book by a geek for fellow geeks. Although I previously said the Magical Girl genre does not have a high a barrier to entry in terms of general cultural knowledge, and although Princess Holy Aura also incorporates tropes and characters from, and makes references to, a great deal of American media, knowledge of both Japanese and American horror and fantasy tropes is really helpful to "get" what anyone is talking about. Not only is it taken for granted that characters recognize the source material for what's going on, they also sometimes make leaps of logic that I have trouble following, and I don't know if that's a problem with the story or with my own background knowledge so that if I'd seen the right show(s) I would've caught on immediately. Plenty of things are explicitly spelled out, especially in early conversations between Stephen and Silvertail, but familiarity with several magical girl shows or manga would probably be helpful if only to know more specifically what Stephen is talking about. I'd rate this a 4 on the Weeb scale, but also at least a 4 on a scale of American Geek Media — knowledge of H.P. Lovecraft and recent internet lore, and to a lesser extent general knowledge of RPGs and major works of sci-fi and fantasy, are probably essential to not staring blankly going "what is this?" Like certain interminable live-action shows I could name, it mashes together monsters from a variety of source materials with mixed results.

Ass: As if directly responding to common complaints about men writing women in inappropriately-sexualized and deeply-implausible ways, descriptions are actually descriptive rather than gratuitous, and Stephen-as-Holly really only talks about his/her own body in the context of getting used to it, and does so in less-sexualized terms than I've heard women I'm friends with use in moderately-polite company. In fact, although Holly is understandably portrayed as having sexual feelings, Spoor rather aggressively avoids sexualizing her to the audience, which is an important distinction.

Shit: The whole "trust me, I'm not a pervert" interactions with the parents, some way-too-convenient things about the way magic works, and OH DEAR GOD THE EXPOSITION just end up making me go "is that really the best way you could think of to resolve that?". Also, the Cthulhu mythos seems shoehorned and incongruous. It's not great, but it is entertaining and coherent, unlike some things I've reviewed so far, so I'll give it a middling score. I still recommend it if you're in the target audience of "gigantic fucking geek", which, face it, you probably are if you read my reviews.

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Stray observations:

- The action scenes are described well enough that I can pretty much imagine how they'd go shot-by-shot in an anime. Or maybe I've just seen enough anime to know what common shots Spoor is talking about.

- SLENDER MAN IS NYARLATHOTEP. (This is barely a spoiler. It takes about one page for the characters to make the connection.)

- If "Silvertail's Walkthrough Guide to Magical Girl-ing" were a real book, I would totally read it. It would go on my shelf right next to Hate You Forever: How to Channel Your Rage Into Effective Supervillainy, which is also not that good but quite entertaining if you're the right flavor of geek (which, again, you probably are if you read my reviews).

#weeaboo trash #book review #princess holy aura

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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

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Med Rewatch Series (#11)

S3 E11: Folie À Deux.

Episode description: Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Bekker try to save a misdiagnosed patient while Dr. Choi is on a mission to figure out what happened during a stabbing at his apartment complex.

I remember this episode being a really good one for the psych team (subsequently Sarah, we don’t care about charles). And based off the description, i’m pretty sure this is the one with ethan and april running around in minimal clothes having a nerf gun fight. fun idea. oh, also, ava mention in the description, so it should be good.

Let’s get into it.

- i remember this one, the two neighbors are having a shared delusion or something

-FUCK

NONNONONONONON

-i’m gonna need a minute

- i did not realize this was the episode they introduce sarah’s dad

- COME ON MAN

- i screamed out loud.

- I’ve actually completely forgotten the storyline

- the fact that ava and connor seemingly work on sarah’s father (and sarah and ava interact once? CRIMINAL)

- let’s keep going

- the fact that the guy is charming and already joshing around with the boys. good writing

- ava needs to protect sarah

- this guy. already trying to gain sympathy from charles. please sir no.

- what was the point of having sarah go through two really big story arcs in one season

- sarah’s shirt in this episode is the one with hexagon patterns all over it. i loved that shirt

- charles feeling guilty later in the season for subtly pushing sarah towards getting closer with her father. good broad strokes writing

- noah sending up his patient to the cath lab - cut to: ava and connor in the OR, ava saying: “meet mr. murphy. some genius in the E.D. sent him to the cath lab with a STEMI” (his heart is blue so big yikes)

- and I am so here for ava calling noah out on his shit. a main part of my rewritten cannon

- what is hands down my favorite thing about med? the one thing they do 100% correct? The way they transition from story to story. at least that aspect of their storyline is clean

- is this the one with the floppy baby

- VERY INTERESTING - how in the episode with ava calling noah out, is also when noah is back at it again, chatting with reese

- also, sarah already knowing what noah is gonna say about the patient - SHE’S SO SMART

-sarah literally not giving noah anythingggg. cutting him off and not letting him finish his little story. leaving the room when she just feels like it. we love

- *noah walks into the viewing gallery*

ava: “Your patient, Doctor?”

noah: “uh, yeah.”

ava: “Brilliant.”

- why does this line up so well tho, with that one thing i wrote for S3 E2, ava saving sarah from noah’s chatter and shutting him up

- the surgery faces a complication and ava makes a tough call that will sacrifice some of the other organs, making connor get mad at her, accusing her of inviting him just so they’ll both fail (ava being mad at noah bc this was his fault? or, alternatively noah being fucking terrified of ava after this, but then ava is just... chill. --- this is a good Idea, I’ll sit on it more,)

- when connor tells noah that the patient is doing fine and says “no thanks to you.” (yeah, she’s cutting, but the patient nearly dies)

- noah walking around ava to get to connor (and ava rolling her eyes at him)

- ava eyeing connor reassuring noah it’s bc he’s flirting with sarah because connor is coddling him

- ava smiling when connor says that he’s still learning to get past his assumptions

- yes okay, yes, i see it. she’s smiling bc she thinks he’s talking about her. what does this mean? not anything explicitly romantic. look at me and tell me that ava isn’t someone who is finally happy that someone is willing to see past her cold blunt exterior. how much more satisfying is that, vs. ‘oh wow! the popular boy likes me!’. it is surely much more endearing (that being said the fact that she does smile [in the canon of the show] like the shy little school girl annoys me so fucking much)

- and ava rolling her eyes at noah walking around her? just another person who sees her as just cold and heartless. it’s annoying that it happens so often.

- jay remarking that charles ‘sure knows how to bring the best out of people’ when he gets a women to threaten him, and charles says ‘it’s a gift’ - thinking about how he sure brings out the ‘best’ of reese and her father...

- charles using this episode to diagnose a psychopath. in the same episode reese’s father shows up. the med writers really used all their brain cells on this one

- med really is like ‘don’t worry guys. natalie manning on our show gave a speech on how anti vaxxers suck. we’ve done our job. society is cured’

- we don’t talk enough about how soft monique is

- the way ava sits on the bed in the doctors lounge is GAY. THAT IS A HOMOSEXUAL. MA’AM. WHO ARE YOU FOOLING. the fact that connor is just there, sitting at the table, sipping tea, using a moleskin notebook as a coaster is fucking hilarious. the energy in the room (distinctly homosexual).

- they really would have been unstoppable if the show had just kept them bros

- and then the moment connor opens his mouth he turns the convo distinctly straight again. how fucking disappointing

- literally the energy in the room before vs. after they start talking is polarizing. and they have to go and make it the straightest scene. jesus just fuck off

- let’s continue

- look he’s finally able to play into her jokes

- also ew jimmy fallon - reason #100 connor rhodes sucks

- this is also the first mention of the conjoined twins case (makes sense since this seems to be about the half season mark and we’re seeing a bunch of B season plots introduced, what with sarah’s dad and all)

- start of heightened competition which the show uses for exhausting sexual tension god help me

- CONNOR YOU ARE STANDING TOO CLOSE, GET AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN

- there’s like a three second span where they’re standing inches apart and just staring at each other and mentally im going ‘nononononnonnono’

- GOD DAMMIT

- so yeah they kiss. (right after connor says he needs to pace himself but whatever)

- why is it so aggressive

So. What am I supposed to do here? I’m rewriting this right? What am i supposed to do with the rest of the season. I suppose that’s what I’m supposed to find with this rewatch. my job just got a whole lot harder.

If I were to make Ava a psychopath, I would do it here, so that she was just playing with him. I’m not going to do that though, because she deserves a tad better.

What I’m thinking now, Ava is having some sort of existential crisis, due to being in this new place and having only one (1) semi-strong connection after living here for six months. so she latches onto connor, thinks that she needs him, panics that she isn’t anybody without him (can you see the themes I’m going with?)

or, this is just some meaningless fling, which is also a novel idea, but from the evidence we’ve gathered, ava is much too caring a person to do that (at least I believe).

regardless, we did a lot of good work today, pointing out ava harassing noah (like i thought would happen lmao). definitely not my fav episode, or the best episode. but in terms of the rewrite, there’s a lot we can work with here

as always, thanks for sticking through

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #med series rewatch #folie a deux #mine

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femcurrent · 7 years

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Sorry Gen X, Blade Runner 2049 was better than the Original

by Caity

Four hours ago, I walked out of the Seattle cinerama--one of the last four theaters of its kind in the world--awestruck by Denis Villenuve’s latest cinematic marvel. Sixteen hours before that, I was falling asleep watching the cult classic it was based on.

Now before any flamethrowers comment on this basing their responses purely on the title of my post and that line, I will say that I paused the film as soon as I noticed my weariness, went to sleep, and finished it the next morning so that I did not miss any part of the film. And for the most part, I enjoyed it. Ridley Scott created a beautifully shot film with an amazing score, and it had one of the most moving antagonist death scenes I’ve seen on screen. I even forgave the ridiculousness of Roy jumping across building tops clutching a dove after he uttered the line, “All those memories will be lost in time like tears in the rain.”

But as someone who identifies as both a cinephile and general fan of science fiction, this film was a bit of a let down. A large part of that is due to the source material--Philip K. Dick’s novel “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” Our protagonist, Deckard, a generally uninteresting bounty hunter type, learns of four rogue replicants who have returned to earth and are causing chaos, and he then proceeds to hunt down and “retire” them. (It’s not execution if they’re not humans!) That’s the whole plot--incredibly linear. Sure, along the way, he develops a loose romantic connection with another replicant, Rachel, who is having a bit of an identity crisis after learning she’s not really human, but Rachel’s purpose in the film is mostly for Deckard to realize that maybe replicants are people after all. (And spoiler alert--he might be one too!) The final scene with Roy showing empathy and recounting his love of life as he slowly dies accomplished that point way more than any of the moments with Rachel.

So why was the new one better? I’ll tell you five reasons in the least spoiler-y way I can.

1) Representation: The first film created a world that, understandably, featured Chinese people, food, and language assuming the future interconnected world of 2019 would be influenced by the planet’s majority culture, but basically every main character was white, and overwhelming male. There were three female characters, Rachel, Pris, and Zhora. Zhora got zero character development, Pris, a “pleasure model,” was essentially a sexual being whose main goal was not dying, and Rachel, while empathetic and given a decent amount of screentime, did not really have a personality.

Blade Runner 2049 had TWO black people (they didn’t disappear in this futuristic world--I wasn’t sure), a few Latino people including Edward James Olmos revisiting his role from the first one, and a much more balanced male to female cast. Robin Wright, ever powerful, plays a police chief who perhaps values order over individual life. Ana de Armas plays an AI with a heart of gold. Carla Juri gave a stunning performance as a memory scientist/artist. And Mackenzie Davis plays a charming prostitute. Furthermore, Sylvie Hoeks’s character “Luv” was a typical badass right-hand man type. The role could have easily been played by a man, but it wasn’t! Speaking of the antagonists and representation, Jared Leto plays a wealthy CEO desperate to find a way to make even more money, and he was blind. It did not hinder his ability to do his job, and it also wasn’t his only character trait. It was just...part of who he was. It was awesome.

While the film could have included some more people of color in prominent roles and an LGBTQ character should have been included, overall, the cast of the second film was significantly more diverse than the first.

2) Storyline and characterization. I already mentioned the lackluster plot of the first one, but 2049 was brilliant! Instead of telling the audience in a 10 minute infodump exactly what’s going to happen at the start of the movie, we discover details of a curious case alongside our protagonist, K. We make predictions that are sometimes true, and sometimes we’re thrown some curveballs. And unlike the first one, I actually cared about the people in the film. They had backstories, reasonable motivations, and enough screen time to fully develop them along the way. The first movie was 1 hour 57 minutes long and dragged. The second was 2 hours 43 minutes and I did not notice the time go by.

3) Female Sexuality. I haven’t done much research, but I’m sure there are plenty of angry blogs about the sex scene in the original film. If you are unfamiliar with this scene, let me tell you: it did not age well. And while the new movie tried to excuse it, providing evidence that Rachel was interested in Deckard from the moment they met, it’s really hard for me to watch a scene where a woman actively runs away from a man who kissed her, is blocked, and then told to say “Kiss me” to him and think to myself, “Oh yeah, this seems consensual. She’s definitely not just saying that out of fear of her current situation.” The new film was not able to change what was made, so the writers, Hampton Fancher and Michael Green, played it off as she was afraid of any form of intimacy with a man she was interested in, and not just afraid of Deckard himself. Way to work with what you’ve got fellas! But the new film’s sex scene was completely the opposite. Ryan Gosling’s K is completely satisfied with not being able to touch his romantic partner. However, she wants more and finds a creative way to get around the whole holograms-don’t-have mass thing. It was a moving moment and definitely a step forward for female sexuality.

4) Social Commentary. While the Original Blade Runner definitely hit on the idea of overpopulation (people had to move off of planet earth!) that wasn’t the main goal. And it did bring up the important question of “what does it mean to be human?” subverting the idea that “antagonist” means “bad guy.” The replicants just wanted to live. But Blade Runner 2049 took it a step forward--replicants are second class citizens for no real reason other than they aren’t the ones in power. I’m sure the line, “Dying for the right cause? What could be more human than that?” resonated with many people in the audience.

On top of that, there was a ton of social commentary on resource management and global warming. LA had to be walled off from the rising ocean tide, there was constant rain, and for some reason, it alternated between snowing and scorching heat over the course of very little time and distance.

5) Cinematography. Ok, actually, the cinematography of the first one was brilliant. No complaints here. But the new one does not disappoint. #giveDenisVillenuveadamnOscar

Where the first film felt like, “The future if it were the 80s” complete with sharply angled flying cars and shoulder pad power suits, this one is a representation of “the future if it were the mid 2010s.” There were corrupt corporations, women taking control, abuse of the environment, and an oppressed people fighting for equality. In conclusion, if you haven’t seen Blade Runner, you could still enjoy Blade Runner 2049 if you like well shot, futuristic suspense films with legitimate female representation. If you liked Blade Runner, go see Blade Runner 2049 and don’t be a slave to the ideology that “the sequel is never as good as the original.”

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