#and like. im kinda annoyed because i feel like i wanted to like it. i rly wanted it to be good

[fairuzfan]

sry for being another annoying anon. i just wanted to say that, at least for me, my initial problem(?) with the don't vote thing was less so with me being a biden dick rider and more so with the fact that america already has a voting problem (i'm pretty sure only like 65% voted in the 2020 election) so i wasn't sure if it would have the desired effect a lot of ppl wanted. i assume that its meant to be viewed as part of the protests for palestine and other types of boycotts right?

idk please delete this if there's nothing new to talk about here

So the "vote uncommitted" campaign specifically is something that the Palestinian community emphasizes. Idk if you know much about Palestinian community population numbers in different places, but a lot of the key/important states have large Palestinian or Arab populations. Michigan, a swing state, is blue because of the cities like Dearborn and Detroit. So we are asking especially people who we know would have gone out and voted, to take this stance.

For some people it's a moral ideology, that we cannot imagine living in a world where Biden willfully gets elected despite his genocidal actions. Like, to us, it kinda just feels like a spit to the face for him to get elected by people who claim to support Palestine but still vote for him in the end.

But also, honestly, I really don't think Biden will win either way. He definitely already lost Michigan. Chicago is like Palestine central. New Jersey has a Little Palestine there.... there's just a lot that im pretty sure no one will vote for him, even before all this happened.

So yeah, there's a few things going on.

[wampabampa]

i started dark urge play last night cause i wanted to take a break from Miz'ri gameplay and man do i literally hate everybody but wyll shadowheart and karlach JSJIVBS

#squish the goober #baulders gate 3 #rambles #bg3 #bg3 durge #i love them i really do but with durge im playing as if it was fr fr me like not as if i was the character #and #GOD THESE FUCKERS ANNOYING AS FUCK #esp gale #the amount of times i shove him and astarion off cliffs because they give me attitude #like nooooo way ur sitting there giving me shit when i SAVED UR ASS #I COULD KILL U RIGHT HERE RN DONT PLAY WITH ME WHITE MAN #They pissing me off sm idek who to romance #also im getting contacts!! yay!! #ive always wanted to have contacts because my glasses i feel always ate up my face #cause even though i dont draw myself with glasses i do infact have glasses and they are black and rectangular and i hate it #but hopefully my new glasses will make me feel better #im kinda iffy on them but i litterally just wanted something new and something to match my wisp concert outfit #which the colors are black dark dark blue and gold #so praying

[whump-n-comfort]

when you read a fic that gives you a hyper-specific whump scenario that you know would either A.) take forever to find in another story or B.) hasn't been written at all so the obvious conclusion is that you have to write it yourself

#whump meme #~my stuff~ #my brain hates me sometimes lmao #i just want a story where two characters are stuck in a broken down car in the middle of winter and having an argument #which leads to one stomping outside in some petty attempt to 'find help' while the other person doesn't realize #what is happening at first. they think their friend is just taking a quick second to catch their thoughts. not the best idea in a snow stor #but the other option is them tearing each others heads off so a little separation is fine. but then their friend starts walking away #and keeps going. so now they have to chase after them to corral them back into the car #because yeah its broken but its still somewhat warm unlike this suicide mission you are attempting!! #and then theres a big blow up because they have kinda been the shit-stirrer so their friend just is #im fixing it!! im being not annoying/useless/something related to whatever they were arguing about!! #so now they get slapped in the face with the fact that they've been taking out their bad day/week on their friend #who was simply being themself and trying to cheer them up/be nice #and when they eventually get back in the car the friend now feels like shit because they not only wasted heat from the car #but they also dragged their friend outside just bcuz they were being a brat so didn't they just prove the other person's point? #so now the two are just in a guilt huddle apologizing for being idiots as they inevitably wait for their rescue #bonus points if the rescue involves their rescuers trying to separate them and the other person just *refuses* to let their friend go #because they have a need to keep the first person warm after feeling like they essentially forced them out into the cold #is that too much to ask?? (i could turn this into an A talks to B scenario... also thinking about my OCs but when am i not lol)

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[pacifymebby]

If you can be arsed with all those tags and fancy giving me brutal advice read away haha

#something is definitely going wrong for me because I want to go out tomorrow night with my mate who is thinking about getting a bag in and #and that lowkey sounds like a lot of fun to me and i wanna chip in but like i think B wants to come out and if he does i cant join in with #my pal because B would very much be against me doing that and like ugh #he doesnt even drink at the moment and i feel like out of nowhere hes matured but in all the wrong ways #like in none of the ways ive been wanting him to for the last few years #but in the ways which mean our nights out arent compatible anymore #and i know im the problem for wanting to be nihilistic hedonistic whatever #but i feel like im getting back the bit of my early 20s covid and working in care robbed me of #and hes already had his phase of that sort of stuff but like would be annoyed with me if i was doing coke around him and stuff #im definitely being selfish and should just say no to the drugs and like be a good girlfriend but #ahhhhhh idk if i cant have christmas like and i didn't get christmas eve at the pub then i kinda want boxing day at the pub with my mates #ugh #a tiny part of me is considering changing my plans with b and being borderline dishonest but also i know that #doing that is going to make whatever problem there is between us worse? #ultimately i know that im morally in the wrong here tbh and also like a bit of a loser

[curiouschaosstarlight]

person #1: "[character i really love] should die violently!"

me: okay, bye

person #2: "i love this character!"

person #2: "[other character i really love] should die violently!"

me:

#not important #chaotic rants #if i had a nickle for every time one of my non-villain favorites got bashed i'd... #i'd be rich honestly why the fuck does this keep happening to me #i feel like i've made this post before #anyways i dont want to get directly specific because i dont want this to show up in searches #but if anyone's wondering the characters are Sampo and Argenti from HSR #i love those two immensely #i also love Kafka WHO ALSO gets bashed a lot i've noticed :\ #i think i'd be deeply uncomfortable with ANYONE wishing violent death on any character #it's a feeling i genuinely cannot relate to in the slightest despite having characters i dislike and dont really want to see #but it's especially distressing when it's my favorite characters #in case you're wondering this is why you'll never see me participate in direct character or ship bashing on my stuff #maybe i would have in the past but everyone is someone's favorite #and whenever im about to directly namedrop a character or ship that frustrates or annoys me i just kinda pause and go #'okay but what if someone who really likes this character/ship sees this and feels ashamed for their enjoyment?' #And Then I Don't Do It #not because anyone's making me but because the internet is a public space and frankly #there's already enough toxicity in the world #...i should post more character positivity and dress up/picrew stuff (and art but my art block's been severe lately) #maybe i'll build a queue in a bit if i can get my energy up #(if y'all are wondering why i have so many posts that are me complaining about fandom attitudes) #(it's 'cause spite gives me a temporary energy boost and i've been severely lacking in energy lately) #i -am- a bit hesitant because i know my takes on certain characters (particularly Dottore) are #insanely niche in a way i dont think anyone reading this before i've posted anything demonstrative of that fact will expect #and then i feel self conscious putting my niche stuff out there to be looked at #but! that's why i have custom character tags anyway i s'pose

[elegyofthemoon]

also to anyone who plays honkai, does anyone have other translations of the game? aside from the official?

i feel like i talked about this with a friend, but the translations just. don't line up with what's being said a lot of the time and it's slightly driving me insane x - x

#like!!! i can understand bits and pieces but its not enough to understand whats fully being said #but i just know that some of the things being said do not line up with the subtitles and i want to gnaw on something when it happens #idk.... #cuz like this one line in ch 11 ex where himekos in kianas flashbacks (i am crying) #himeko asks kiana whats on her mind and she says something like 'tell mama what youre thinking about' #but she doesnt!!! say that in the official dub!!!!! she just says 'tell your teacher' !!!!!!!! WHY #it is very cute though how much kiana looks to st freya cast as her family its so ; - ; i feel so bad #also the voiceacting is absolutely killing it in ch 11 ex its amaziiiing #like!! kiana was saying she was angry towards fu hua but not because of betrayal and more because she realizes she was helpless towards fat #YOU CAN HEAR THAT IN HOW SAD AND JUST ABSOLUTELY DEJECTED KIANA SOUNDS..... its amaziiiiing i love it #at least to me ! #it was weird when i saw kiana get angry at fu hua because while she did look angry #her voice kinda sounds otherwise #but anyways #snow plays hi3 #just asking !! because im sure theres probably bounds of translations!! but i just dont know whats like. A Good Trusted One #so i trust. whoever plays honkai aPPARENTLY THERES A FEW OF YOU HIIIIII!!!!!! #im shaking all your hands im sorry im kind of new and probably like absolutely blissfully ignorant but i am shaking your hands #i wish there was a way to keep tabs of who Does bc then i can annoy cOUGHS #kidding! i wouldnt lmao

[elisedonut]

sudden itch to write a rare pair fic thats not Percy related

but like

the last time I did that it ended up becoming my top fic and lead to me deciding that you know... actually I hate that ship just out of spite so i'm not sure how good of an idea it is

maybe if i try like femslash or something super super rare with side characters or something

#using tumblr as a diary again #like is it healthy to feel that way? #no it's probably not but knowing that hasn't made the feeling go away in the months sense i posted it lol #like multiple people have asked for more for it but I'm ngl I'm likely never touching that ship again much less the fic itself #like if i even did decide to it would probably just be Percy and Viktor meeting #the whole reason it even became the ship it did was because I couldn't figure out how to write Viktor #But i don't think that's what people mean when they say they want more of it but maybe id be less annoyed if I did add a Percy/Viktor chapt #I feel like this is what those people mean when they talk about posting art you put your all into vs a doodle #because while i spent a hell of a long time procrastinating writing it i was never like actually happy with it #I just kinda wrote and posted it because I was running out of time and wanted to be done with it #which I think is part of why I find it annoying that it has like double the kudo's of everything else but it makes sense that it does #like it's a garbage fic yeah but its the main character and a fan favorite so ofc its going to get more attention #especially in comparison to the niche nonsense I make that I like more #will I ever delete it No I'm fire believer in not deleting things I've made because ive learned in my life i always regret it so #I just have to get better at writing so I can knock it off its horse >:) #or just keep adding extra chapters to Raspberry Muffin until it surpasses it lol #they only have a difference of 64 at the moment so its not impossible #I know im going to see this again in a few years and be so confused on why it bothered me so much i just know it lol

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

can't there be like, a platonic version of mutual pining? because that's what I feel like Mephistopheles and I would be like

#listen i loooove to imagine this #him being all grumpy when things dont go his way and acting kinda angry to also get me out of there because he doesnt know how to deal with #what he is feeling #he's like they are nothing else that A RANDOM HUMAN there's no way I want to get along with this person who always complicates things #meanwhile i enjoy spending time with him and try to be positive about it to not make our time together too much of a burden on him but #also constantly being worried that my presence is too annoying and that im hopelessly wishing for us to get closer #can see you what im talking about JKSJS #everytime he appears in the story my mind goes wild with this kind of scenarios #all i write is about you #self shipping #self ship #f/o #self ship community #f/o community #f/o gush #we're in the f/oing process idk if i should call him like that yet JKSJS #just like Yuri... who Im always looking at

[enbysiriusblack]

thinking about horror film au marauders.. (tw. lotta gore)

lily the nerdy, bossy character that comes out with a giant axe and brutally beats up the killer/s to the shock of every other character

peter is either the bargaining character that tries to bargain and give the killer/s what they want just as he's about to die. or the character secretly on the killer's side that's revealed at the end

definitely giving wolfstar the making out whilst a killer is in their house/car/woods

mary, dorcas, remus, and lily all turning to each other wondering which of them is gonna die first, when they realise they're basically in a horror film cause of the black character dying first trope (i watched the blackening yesterday and the tagline "we can't all die first" gave me this hc. very good film. highly recommend)

sirius is the resident horror film expert that tells them what the killer usually does next (im imagining someone dying and everyone is just screaming over the dying body and sirius is also screaming but then adds in "this is exactly like that scene in wrong turn!"

the screamers are probably mary, remus, and james. not a definite though. i can see it being other people.

marlene gets the most jump scare scenes and emmeline gets the most hearing creaking and footsteps

james is the best at fighting but absolutely hates blood. feel like there needs to be a scene where he's like punching a masked killer and is doing SO WELL. and he gets the killer on the ground and is about to pull the mask off when the killer pulls out a knife and stabs at his hands and chest and shit. and he just screams and backs away staring at his blood until he faints.

as marlene dies, she clutches dorcas' hand and whispers "the lesbians never get a happy ending. apart from fear street... why couldn’t this be like fear street?"

the final girl HAS to be mary. ofc.

#im very much a satire horror fan. in case you couldn’t tell from this. #gonna explain how everyone dies (other than mary) in the tags cause im having ideas now i thought i was finished #idk the order so this is random and not at all chronological #remus- is high as fuck. thinks sirius or james is pranking him and then gets stabbed or whatever #sirius- tries to out horror the killer. tips a bucket of fake blood on them. has a chainsaw and mask #has a bunch of recording devices with sounds he previously made. etc. but then his fucking phone goes off #and he gets so annoyed because thats such a rookie mistake. and he asks to cut and do a retake just before the killer kills him #marlene- kinda already said about her death. but feel like it's def outside like in the street and shes only with dorcas #i already said james' death #lily- feel like there's more than one killer and she manages to kill one. just to turn around and another to get her #dorcas- she gets VERY into it once marlene dies. definitely gets hits in if not killing some of the killers. #but they ultimately get stabbed a lot and they run to marlene's body whilst bleeding out instead of the hospital #and she dies in marlene's dead grasp. #emmeline doesn't get killed for a while. is bait in a plan to catch killer/s but the plan goes wrong and she gets pushed out a high window #i havent mentioned other characters but why not say their deaths. #regulus- he's made to be involved with like a scene in a library where they go to him to ask about some secret history of the town #and then is killed the next day but has s bunch of writings and pages of books around his room about the killers and hes solved it #but the killer burns it all before anyone gets there #pandora- kinda want her to the first death for some reason idk.. like it gets framed as a suicide but so many people dont believe it #and the killings go on #barty- sees the masked killer and like jokes around touching their mask and stuff. and then the killer just like. brings out an axe #and chops his head off #evan- dont know why but im imagining him driving and getting those spikes in the road to lure him out the car #also btw didn't mention peter's death cause im leaning towards him being secretly one of the killers #and gets killed by either lily or dorcas #was gonna say barty and evan could be killers then i realised i made them kill reg and pandora and cas so people would not like that #also no mary death obviously since shes the final girl. survivor ever <3 immortal <3 #marauders era #marauders #tw. gore

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit #i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it #very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically #some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like #AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE #and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to #and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded #it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me #i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me #and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him #away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt #feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like #aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family #hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs #his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage #and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them #HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM #and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is #but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK #and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way #or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he #doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’ #yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them

[lobpoints]

some boring lc thoughts in dm with friend ig

Click ALT if you can't read the text

#i was telling my friend that I had some lc thoughts lately which they asked and I responded like a day after (distracted by yuri sorry) #also because I feel like I cannot articulate my thoughts without sounding like an inherently hateful or annoying person about it #there are more to this being that I talked about Benjamin pre LC behavior in the text but benjamin in LC loop behavior evolved #into a state of helplessness complacency state where he held the belief that his and A relationship only last inside the loop #which metaphorically meant that he believed A will have to remain as a hurtful person for their relationship to last #so Hokma's story just have his behavior toward A have this bit of him condemning A's behavior and go on his poor angela speech #and later on dwell into how it is actually OK for A and everyone to keep living like this because A could NEVER change anyway #and if A argues that he could that just mean that he COULDNT BE serious about it because lol something something repeated hurtful pattern #this is something he has in common with Angela as well because Angela's dialogues toward seed of light progressions express this exact #and it is when his meltdown come in where he poses as protector to protect whatever A hasnt destroyed yet #which later just dwell into him admitted that he was just being overly vebrose about his intention but in reality #it was mostly because he couldnt bear to part with A again #I do absolutely think what Benjamin/Hokma feel toward A is romatic attraction like he is literally gay so yeah #and the fact that in QnA PM has answered that Benjamin wasnt in the loop before Angela killed him and put him in so that why he got older #which makes sense because this place into the thematic that when he wanted to escape the loop or fix thing he actually #growing up #while as Hokma stuck in the loop and dealing with the above issues he started being ''stuck'' in a loop #like I cant with the popular fan theory of Benjamin is killed each loop and how tragic it is like #no it didnt happen and it would be frankly kinda lame im sorry #ok im being a hater again #there are more I wanted to say but I forgor them after writing till this point so uh

[strangerhands]

if any of you ever notice me liking, un-liking, and re-liking your posts, (sometimes multiple times a day. sometimes multiple days apart.) please (try to) ignore me. i am sorry. i am insane. thank you. have a good day

#i like actually have issues #i need to ''line up'' and semi-organize my likes (which act as my bookmarks) #and like. it drives me insane when things arent how i Need them to be. #like for example three fics of the same character need to be one after the other and stuff #it goes kinda deeper and more insane but just to give you a general idea #so catch me constantly liking and unliking and reliking things a billion times #also do it to like put some things back at the top of my likes because so much gets buried so quickly and i just need to remember its there #both with things i that havent read yet and with things that i want to reread #i feel like so insane and annoying about it all the time🧎but like its just something that i Need to do... #like it actually kind of upsets me #if i dont. but also when i do. #it also honestly makes me scared/nervous that people will get really annoyed and or weirded out by it if they see/notice it happen:/ #i definitely have further mental issues #anyways #basically just im sorry and please ignore me #talkin shit #maybe i should talk to someone about this. or go down the research rabbit hole. aaaaaaaanyways. #goodnight! #it is 8am and i dont know how im still awake! #this was a certified talkin shit post #absolute wall of tags jesus #sorry :p #if you read all of this. i am sorry and i love you (big deal for me) #(another issue of mine) #🧍 #hashtag unnecessary off putting weirdo rant😝 #my specialty #okay bye #just had to edit this post a billion times. #woah tag limit reached. its a sign for me to shut the fuck up. note taken. thanks tumblr.

[arcaneyouth]

honestly its so disheartening to regularly see shit like kinning or shifting or whatever theyre calling that get so shit on by most people, or to have the meaning change to something more tame and palatable for most people. i believe in that shit in a spiritual/religious kind of way. but unfortunately other people like me can be real fucking annoying about it in an easy to make fun of way so i probably shouldnt express that shit unless i want to be made fun of as well.

like even if they're being cringe about it and even if theyre not doing it for spiritual reasons like me maybe dont? make fun of them? for being cringe? and going "stupid idiot doesn't know its not real"?? yeah i dont think these people should be insisting this is scientific when its very much not but also like hey leave us alone maybe

#negative #i consider myself agnostic but ive also have some very solid thoughts about how this universe and others work #and shit like kinning and shifting fall in place with those ideas and they make me so happy #no i dont think theres scientific evidence for it and i dont blame anyone who doesnt believe it #but its my personal beliefs?? and everyone who publicly shares those beliefs with me gets made fun of and its so 😰 #i feel like ive had to shove this shit down especially as im getting older and no longer have the excuse of being a cringey teen #but i do still wholeheartedly believe in this kind of thing. and it kinda just makes me sad im never gonna be able to really express that #because the vocal few being kinda annoying about it have given this shit a bad rep #also the shift in the meaning of kinning is so so sad to me because people talk about kinning and i go !! oh they are like me! #but no they are not. it is a list of characters they project onto and not #yknow. #so many people ive told about my beliefs and experiences have insisted on finding rational solutions to why im like this #including insisting i have DID (i dont) or some kind of psychosis (i dont.) or otherwise putting a label i never wanted on me #i dont believe my experiences have scientific explanation. its fucking spiritual to me. can we not leave it at that. #wow did not realize how upset i am about this until typing this all out #anyways no follow up questions unless you are being polite please goodbye

[weenhands]

i dream about being loved just the way that i am. i think sort of an indifferent boyfriend towards my traits would be the dream

#it would be like my last but i would ask a million questions all day long. the most useless rabbit hole questions. #and he wouldnt forcefully find it lovely or endearing nor would he find it annoying. hed just....understand and kinda tolerate #i would ask him for all of my same foods when he cooks and he wouldnt really find it cute or infantilize me. he wouldnt find it annoying #hed just make them over and over and hed take care of me when im complaining that its too bright and my brain is going dizzy because of it #hed remind me to eat and do all of my other executive dysfunction stuff #i think i want someone who gets along with my disability not in a way where he has fallen in love with them #because my traits are objectively weird and annoying sometimes and strange to allistics #ill always feel that way or feel that judgement #i just wanna feel “tolerated” but mostly have room for my traits to just be with someone #just. understanding. its not a big deal to them ig #its 4am and i cant sleep so im typing this instead #idk i guess lately ive been thinking alot abt this and its annoying but. Yea im not like other ppl that is Way too obvious to anyone #who pursues me👍 and i guess i hate that feeling when ur disability just inevitably severely alienates u from ppl #and with wanting to feel loved lately. This fantasy just keeps popping up

[mwagneto]

ppl will literally hold my face in both hands and look me in the eyes and say im the most perfect person they know and that im important to them and they want to be there for me. and ill still be like uhm what if they're just saying it to be nice but secretly hate my guts

#not rly true coz i feel more secure w this friend group than i ever have #partly bc forcing myself to recover from mento illness is going great and #partly because well. they hold my face in both hands and tell me they'd kill for me #i dont think they hate me im just always worried im annoying which is kinda new #not even annoying im just scared they'll get sick of me if im too.... too everything ig #and im desperately trying not to think about the fact that im going to move to a #different country and leave all of them and it's gonna be miserable #it's crazyyyy how fast time is moving. i need to enjoy every second coz man... #at least the work we have to do means we're gonna be traveling and living together basically all summer #and a bit in spring too #im literally winning life tbh and it's only the 2nd semester #we'll see. and the bad thing is i have no idea how i got such a big friend group so quickly and i #knowww that if i change majors or move away im never gonna have anything like this again #i literally like going to uni coz i miss them when im home that's so fucked up. like wtf. #im so not used to missing ppl like this and to ppl wanting to be around me it's crazy. hi #barking