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#and nothing would make them go away
All my friends in highschool were neurodivergent in one way or another
Not all of the ones I talked to outside of school were autistic but none were neurotypical
But in some classes I would have class specific friends. Like people I only really talked to when we had classes together. ALL of those people were autistic.
High school Riley did not know they were autistic
Nor did I ever seek these people out
But any time we had class together we would all just kinda group together. Like I was often the first to class on the first day and we if we were allowed to choose our own seats they would all just kinda group around me on the first day. If we had to get into groups for anything they would just kinda absorb me into their group without me having to say anything
And I have to wonder
Did they (correctly) assume i was autistic and decide to do all that on purpose
Or did they just all see me sitting as far away from other people as possible and decide they vibed with that
Either way I was always very appreciative towards them. They made the classes I assumed I would be alone in just a bit more bearable. And they never thought I was weird for not talking much at first and then oversharing once I got comfortable enough to talk to them.
#unfortunately several of them had paras and paras were always fuckin annoying#like if left alone i can calm down from a meltdown pretty quickly#but if people keep talking to me or touching me or even just staring at me it makes it so much harder to calm down#and drags it out way longer than it needs to#and my meltdowns tend to be pretty quiet#my parents have always been very good about just letting me do what i need to do to calm down#so as long as my parents were around my meltdowns were never a problem. they sucked. but the overwhelmed crying part would#end pretty quick#most teachers just ignored them which i was fine with#but PARAS MAN. they were the WORST. both at triggering meltdowns and at making them WORSE#like my dudes your job is literally working one on one with autistic kids why are you so bad at thks#and nothing would make them go away#i would straight up tell them to leave me alone and they would just continue to insist on ''helping'' me#like i am actively refusing your help and telling you its unnecessary WHATS NOT CLICKING#and they would always walk up behind me amd like. put their hands on my back and like WHY#i CLEARLY flinch every time you do that WHY do you continue to do it#like i think i wouldve benefitted from some sort of assistance in school (and in junior year i was failing so many classes that they gave#me a study hall in the classroom that had the therapy dog) but im so glad i didnt have a para assigned to me#i feel like i may have become violent if id had to deal with a para in more than one or two classes a semester#and like. obviously i wouldve had an iep for that to have happened but considering how they also treated the kids they were assigned to#im not really sure they wouldve treated me any different if one was assigned to me#i had random paras deciding i needed their help since 1st grade and every single one of them succeeded in triggering meltdowns#or seeing me meltdown and make it 100x worse#im not super confident in their abilities to have actually assisted me in any way
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angeltownn · 8 months
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You crown bearers are all the same. Nothing without your adoring Followers. Ratau wasn't like that. He stayed true to who he was. You'll NEVER live up to him.
Shrumy story
Based on Shrumy’s dialogue when you meet them for the first time :3
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watchingwisteria · 4 months
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aziraphale, the one who gave the first human exiles his flaming sword as both a source of protection and warmth, who did not look on them as sinners deserving of destruction but people entitled to the best chances possible, has never once looked at crowley, a heavenly exile, with anything other than compassion and a desire to protect. from their first meeting, he never wanted anything bad to happen to him. when crowley slithers up to him in eden, he treats him like an equal rather than an adversary. when crowley appears, his eyes fill with love and excitement, his gaze turns soft and hesitant, his whole body seizes with joy of seeing him. crowley might typically the one to seek him out, but aziraphale has always welcomed him home.
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ohitslen · 3 months
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Twitter doodles!
(close ups for the first one below and a small extra as well :D)
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starflungwaddledee · 5 months
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offering three cookies 🍪🍪🍪
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(<< part 1)
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jasontoddenthusiastt · 2 months
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The compelling thing about Jason as a character is that I never doubted that he cared about the world just because there weren’t panels of him being overly zealous about “restorative community care”
I’m not coming after anyone who wants to see that kind of stuff, but I do think seeking | that | as confirmation that Jason cares about the world is pretty narrow
#shoving an arc like that into his comics to “show he cares about people”#after having him repeatedly say things like “nothing I ever did was for good. it was all just selfish anger” in recent comics#would be the final nail in the “see! he's redeeming himself! he CAN be likable!” coffin (pathetic)#it's literally what his antis have been suggesting would make his character “so much better”#kelseethe#see also: “people would have a hard time knowing whether Jason loves them”#why did he gift Thomas' watch to Bruce all those years later + possibly even after utrh happened#why is he always silently forgiving the shitty treatment from his family almost like he wants to maintain some sort of relationship w/ them#as for “showing that he cares about the world”#the most obvious “evidence” is right there#why would he continue to fight tooth and nail to have a place in Gotham as a vigilante#both warding off and enduring harassment after harassment from Bruce while hearing the same message every time#“hey. you're doing this to yourself. you can make it all go away if you just do as I say and quit for good.”#“you'll even get to be my son again”#it’s not like he gets recognition/praise for doing what he does either unlike Bruce Dick or Tim#what could possibly be in it for him#wouldn't it be that much easier to “not give a crap about the world” on a beach in Capri instead of in the Gotham sewers every month#anyway Jason should decapitate rapists and poison more child traffickers and not cry about it five seconds after
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scopophobia-polaris · 5 months
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Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark
#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just.....#have it#like all of it#and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh#how do i put this#how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing#or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc#i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT#But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the#what was jt#idk man they just keep taking away her agency#man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE?#idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad#and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her#becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship#but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more#instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say#when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice#how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like#mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because#did#did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck#sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man
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virsancte · 1 month
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good days aren't easy to come by
#simblr#ts4 legacy#valentine gen 4#fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own#but it's gonna get Long so strap in#basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15#he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman#it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to#devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever#and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen#he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old#youtube videos on his busted up phone#it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician#that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to#and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together#enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off#so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction#so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it#his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since#until now anyway#still not a guitar. but maybe someday#or he can find his old one and buy it again.........#lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you
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blow-me-a-kis · 1 year
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Why stick to an interpretation of a foil as homophobic, when the far more intriguing option of Gay Underling in love with his Sexy Brilliant Boss, acts out of jealousy and fear of losing him is Right There and far more relatable and narratively interesting?
The desire to suppress Ed/Izzy's romance, a relationship that is less wholesome/more complex/more toxic, has to do with the perfectionist burden we carry as queer ppl, to have our relationships be inherently more Evolved, emotionally mature, and come off more Healthy than straight ppl, even if we currently lack the tools to get there. This perfectionism isolates so many queer ppl who feel the need to perform happiness in relationships, and also makes ppl terrified to even try to find real happiness, in friendships and romance.
Stede and Ed, who's romance is idealized to the point of tossing all their mistakes onto Izzy, are actually canonically prime examples of how your own feelings of inadequacy can cause you to wreck your chance for happiness and give up your power of self determination. Even Stede, who works thru his inadequacy in episode two ("I am adequate"), still had remnants of his lack of self worth that were easily activated by Chauncey's speech and death.
Stede ran to a place he knew he couldn't be happy because being loved was scarier than returning to what he already knew. Izzy had nothing to do with that one. Those feelings of inadequacy coming to the surface again and again, even long after you thought you settled it- thats the foil! Thats the Big Bad. Being the villain in your own story is adulthood, babes!
Most of the time, the obstacle in the way of love is our own internal bullshit. Of course if you cannot accept this, due to naivety, perfectionism, a sense of inadequacy, you have to suppress Izzy's queerness and flatten him to the homophobic villain. Its too painful to permit yourself to relate to the flawed reject who may never be enough, the greatest foil to his own happiness who would rather be hated by the man he loves than lose him, and who may never find that effortless, soft love, a physical manifestation of everything you fear
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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silenthillbunni · 24 days
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🏥🦷
#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt#last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep#i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit#so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first#but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts ://#idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly#nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol#but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account#anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain#idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may#or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt..#i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not#if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw....#nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's#dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭#idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit#i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol#ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor#my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont#nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know.....#oh if only things were easy
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corfisers · 2 months
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the thing about the dudebro discussion, the aita post, the willingness to just take at face value any accusations directed at a person you don't know, is that it's all so painfully transparent, it's so obvious that those conversations are happening at this scale specifically because it's about trans women. maybe it's just me, but you generally shouldn't be using certain terms for people unless you know that they are comfortable with them, and if you fucked up then apologize and move on (if we pretend for a second that the majority of dudebros weren't feign ignorance or just actively malicious to begin with). you should be aware that some things don't affect you the same way they affect other people, and you definitely shouldn't be giving those people potentially dangerous advice on topics that you personally aren't familiar with, this is the baseline, at least don't fucking put other people who were misled into trusting you in danger. and if an anon barges into your inbox with some wild accusations then you should stop and think "hey, why are you coming to me anonymously with no evidence to back any of this up, and in such a way that i have to reply to you publicly so more people get to see this" regardless of who it's directed at. like, those are all pretty simple things, or they should be at least, but because the targets are trans women and transmisogyny is so fucking rampant everyone has to bend over backwards to come up with excuses as to why treating trans women this way is perfectly normal and justified.
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purecommemasolitude · 9 months
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you guys ever listen to vse kar vem
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#joker out#it's SO GOOD. the lyrics are SO GOOD.#also they make me very sad#the contrast between the needs of the speaker and the needs of the partner#the hand-in-hand solace and hopelessness of the chorus#the way that even 'i've heard that' in first line sets the situation up as being an uphill battle#actually to elaborate on the first point. the contrast between#the framing of the speaker as not only something now unnecessary to the partner (OUCH) but as something that could actively cause them pain#in the future#vs the framing of the partner as the speaker's sole solace (ha) and comfort that they are soon going to lose#but it's a necessary loss because otherwise they would just be dragging the partner down into hell and presumably the speaker cares greatly#for the partner. but it's still a loss of someone who acts an an anchor for the speaker#the way what's good for the speaker can't live alongside what's good for the partner because they're the antithesis of each other#the feeling of desperately trying to hold on to the last tatters of solace. I'm using that word a lot. before it gets torn away and you're#left with nothing#the hopeless repeating of the chorus in contrast to the verses#'i've heard this and this and this and i know this and this but all that i know is you are my anchor and comfort and when I'm with you#i'm safe'#hell even the way 'i know' vs 'I've heard' is used throughout the song#“i've heard everything comes to an end and I've heard you don't need me anymore. but all i know is that i need you”#“but i also know you've been through hell before and you don't want to return. and staying with me will put you there”#“but i know still that your presence keeps me from being there”#i am going to EAT DRYWALL#i'm making interpretations now so it's probably time to wrap this tag-fest up#i'm sure it was very redundant. i may end up getting emotional and adding to it another time but in summary#kris guštin i'm going after you with a hunting knife#and maybe bojan cvjetićanin too?? idk if he's credited as co-writing the music or the chorus#only tagging kris though because he's the one i'm sure wrote at least a portion of both#og#kris guštin
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yaoianime · 1 month
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Soon im rly gonna do it
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#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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lameow-l · 5 months
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so wait… furina is the name of the archon role that “furina” had to play
wouldn’t make more sense narrative wise to give her a name of her own?? like scara gets his own epic chapter about him ridding himself of his past and adopting a new name then proceed to ignore said name in favor of “hat guy” but the actress playing “furina” doesn’t get to be known for her own name?
like people of fontain (partly maybe) know the truth so why not let her free? let her enjoy the simple human life she so so longed for? even the other furina wouldn’t want this
#i think her story is a better use of the (give character name) mechanic that wasn’t really needed in scara’s arc imo#like yeah it’s cool and all but we literally saw him throw the actual physical manifestation of his past into the fucking void!!!#i personally think it was kind of wasted on him on top of me thinking that idea was entirely stupid to begin with and hyv keeps proving tha#no one actually refers to him as wanderer or by the name they choose online.. its just scara#thats both bad marketing and confusing burying the character away from new players#and like the amount of shit u have to go through as a new player just to name ur weird huge hat angry little dude is just..#but imagine how impactful such a mechanic would be for ‘furina’ who spent all her live acting a role she wasn’t#at the end of all that agony do u think she could endure hearing people call her by that name??#unlike scara she did that for the people every moment of those 500 years knowing that the fate of every person is mere a breakdown away#there was nothing in that for her or for a reward she thought deserved.. just suffering on her own#it just makes more sense for her to want a different name a different identity that has nothing to do with that role#and again i think that mechanic is stupid anyway but if it had to happen i’d loved it more with ‘furina’#or idk give her like a clueless friend she gets to meet that keeps calling her a different name for reasons and her liking the name or smth#maybe give her a different role she gets to play.. or have neuvillette give her a name#same with scara i think it would have been a lot better if he went by a name he choose when all his previous names were chosen for him#i dont see how the entirety of genshin writers and devs agreed to this mechanic being implemented honestly#like traveler is literally there waiting for a single soul to address them by their actual name (the one we choose) but every time it’s jus#traveler traveler.. even their most beloved companion calls them traveler#like that alone should've changed the writers minds bc such a name would 1. either not ever be used or replaced by a nickname#2. the hell devs had to go through to not allow certain phrases and names and 3. the hell both teams will suffer should they add a new char#tl;dr stupid dumb mechanic but they should still give furina a new name#genshin impact#furina#fontaine archon quest#scaramouche
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