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#and obi-wan is like 'im not a father'

yellowocaballero · 1 year

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I said a little bit about this in a comment a few hours ago (hey kenny) and I actually really felt like saying more.

For all that gay people/Tumblr people/AO3 peope/waves hand are really, really into found family they are actually pretty allergic to conceptualizing familial relationships outside of nuclear family roles.

I see a billion posts on Tumblr about how friendships can be just as important as romantic relationships, if not more, but nobody ever actually writes the friendship as important as a romantic relationship. Or friendships are interpreted as romantic, or friendships are sidelined for the romantic relationship. It's always a weird disparity between what people say are important and people actually find important for me.

So when we do step out of romantic relationship and into gen relationships, we typically enter the trope world of #foundfamily. But the same kind of flattening of characters for the sake of shoving them into yaoi ghost archetypes honestly also really happens with family relationships.

There is always a dad. There's always a mom. There's always siblings (frequently the canon female love interest). Maybe an uncle? Ex-wife if we are feeling sexy that day.

I really rarely see people interested in #foundfamily relationships outside of those boxes. It is overwhelmingly, entirely American-centric. There's no recognition of the unbelievable diversity and breadth of human relationships, or the very many ways there are to love somebody. In fanfic, if there's a much older male character emotional close to younger characters, he's dad mode. And the relationship then follows the character and story beats of the father-child relationship intended to draw out those fuzzy family feelings. Damn, I read found family stuff to get away from the intense claustrophobia of the fandom's favorite ship, I'm not here to get family yaoi ghosted here too.

I think you can create a very unique and engaging relationship if you're wiling to engage with the unknown and uncomfortable. Make a path without the paint by numbers story beats and character arcs. Please stop letting tropes rule your writing instead of construct it.

Write stories about love. Write relationships about loving each other. Just start from there, and don't worry about anything else. Create a relationship that is its own. Let it breathe. It can stand on its own two feet. It'll be a richer relationship and a richer story.

#nothing in particular is sparking this it's just on my mind.#my writing #i can give a shitton of examples but I don't want to specify this too hard #didn't know i could get aro spectrum on main about gen fic but im capable of many beautiful things #the way that absolutely everybody does this makes a lot of star wars and batman fic extremely boring #oh and like im not even going into how turning relationships romantic can often really flatten a character and a relationship #that's obvious and we know.#also sw fandom got VERY WEIRD and very western centric to the point of being iffy #about how acknowledging a master&padawan as father&son is 'good end' and desirable #and that a master who will not/can not do that is abusive and obi-wan should be removed to a more traditional family enviornment w/mandos #weird. i read a lot of babywan. ppl are still freaks about quigon. anyway

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tennessoui · 1 month

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kit why would you do this to me with that new obi-wan raising luke story??????????? personally I think obi-wan would make a great father to luke, however broken beyond belief he is after mustafar. and somehow I imagine they'd form a deep strong bond, jedi teachings on attachment having been thrown out the window basically at this point. anyway that made me really really sad, do you have some recs for fluffy sappy happy obikin? :( - 🦊

i absolutely agree that obi-wan would make a great father for luke and luke would love him soooo much and obi-wan would only accidentally call him anakin a few times a week

but i don't think it would be effortless or that it would come easy for him.

i don't have any fic recs right now that are coming to mind because i've been behind on reading lately, please accept this loose thought instead: in this obi-wan raises luke au, obi-wan still has to go save leia when she gets kidnapped and luke absolutely throws a nine year old's lethal tantrum when he meets leia because that's HIS father how DARE leia ask if obi-wan is HER father he's LUKE'S father and luke is going to FIGHT >:(

meanwhile obi-wan is trying to hold it together after discovering anakin is alive and darth vader and he does not have time for two more skywalkers fighting over his attention when he has one skywalker literally trying to drag him through actual flames

#asks #im just imagining luke and leia exchanging fisticuffs because luke can't share #and leia is just like that #no accidental actual incest in this version luke would never think about kissing that dirty father stealer #just weird skywalkers having weird feelings for obi-wan kenobi

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radiantmists · 6 months

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so im on my second try at watching star wars episode ii. this time i made it to the car chase by virtue of muting the audio whenever i thought jar-jar was about to talk, and i have to say that while i have no interest in the romantic obsession stuff, i am enjoying this dynamic where anakin is like obi wan's shithead little brother who always contradicts him in public and does insane things, except he learned half his insanity from obi wan, because while obi-wan's trying to act all older and wise, he's the first one to dive out a thousand-story window when the impulse strikes

#anakin just said he's like a father figure but im booing that #they're like. lilo and nani but grown up with laser swords #...of course the friction between the relatively small age gap and obi wan havibg raised him could create some fun fucked up family dynamic #star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi

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sukugo · 1 year

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any universe where obi-wan’s son luke learns to milk ani cow as well? i just love anaobiluke with bottom anakin <3

ANON!!!!! so i went to sleep last night thinking about this and i love it i love it so much, it has taken over my brain today (also fucking cheers anon anaobiluke with bottom anakin is THE shit 🥂)

so let's say during the whole anicow fiasco, luke hadn't been home, he had gone on a trip or was working away or smth idk. so when he comes home, obi-wan's like "oh, luke, due to circumstances, we uhh have a new member in the house. this is anicow." cue awkward luke/anicow first meeting. and ofc, obi-wan now has to teach luke how to deal with him and milk him

and so i was thinking of a scenario where one day, obi-wan goes out on an errand or whatever and luke is left alone with anakin. luke's just doing his thing around the house, when anakin comes to him, flushed and frowning

and oh, it's time for anakin to get milked. his breasts have swollen and there's milk leaking out his nipples. luke flushes at the image and he tells anakin that obi-wan is still out and he doesn't know when he'll come back.

(luke has never milked anakin alone himself, it has only ever been with obi-wan teaching him, guiding his hands and whispering encouragement into his ears)

(also, anicow is still pretty skeptical of luke/getting milked by him. bc only obi-wan can touch him >:( !!! no one else should be touching him!!! it took him so long to get comfortable with obi-wan, so yeah he's still working on it with luke) (but still, that doesn't change the fact that his breasts are leaking and uncomfortable and he needs to be emptied.)

so, anakin tells luke that no, he needs to get milked now. and luke's like "oh shit, ok, uhhhh come here then", so luke settles himself on a chair, and anakin comes to stand in front of him.

he asks anakin to turn around to sit diagonal on his lap

(obi-wan's taught him two positions to milk anakin. one, with anakin facing you while you squeeze his breasts and have the milk drip down. not the most optimal bc milk will get squirted at your face and you won't be able to catch much of it, but necessary to know bc anakin kinda likes it or smth

the second one, which is the optimal one, is with anakin in your lap—sideways bc he's too tall—so u can set a bucket on anakin's lap and catch the milk with minimal waste)

but anakin doesn't turn around and sit, he refuses to. bc apparently, he wants luke to use his mouth.

and oh shit, obi-wan did NOT teach luke that. he had only ever taught him how to use his hands. and it's not like he didn't know that obi-wan would milk him like that and it's not like luke can't figure it out himself, but he just doesn't know if he can. should.

so he lets anakin know as much, but when anakin wants something, he wants it. and he needs to get milked now and it needs to be with someone sucking on his boobs. it needs to.

so luke's like damn ok then, and gently pulls anakin and settles him on his lap. except this time facing luke.

so now anakin's boobs are right at luke's face, his nipples hard and perked and leaking, and shit. luke swallows. anakin whines and presses himself further into him, pressing his soft breasts against luke's face.

so luke does what he has to. sets his lips right at anakin's breast. and he sucks.

and immediately, anakin notices the difference.

luke is softer.

the first thing he notices is how luke's face is smooth, it doesn't rasp against anakin's skin like he has gotten accustomed to obi-wan's beard doing

he is also softer in his touch, less firm and gentler

while obi-wan's sucks are generally more calculated, more purposeful, firm and dry, luke's are much less thoughtful. duly inexperienced. chaotic and desperate and wet.

his first few sucks are hesitant. but only the first few. anakin's milk starts streaming and luke deepens his pull, turns further, sucking rougher and faster. and anakin can hear the desperate gulps in his throat. can see the milk streaming down his chin.

and while obi-wan generally keeps his tongue rested against his breast, moving it in casual, spaced out licks, luke's tongue flicks repeatedly against anakin's nipple, an incessant force against his sensitive teat. he moves so much more.

luke eyes flick up to meet anakin's and anakin whimpers, and luke notices how his ears twitch along with his body. luke turns his eyes back down and he gulps and gulps, until anakin is left dry, moving to work on the next breast.

everything's going good, right. except. luke is so so so very much into this and anakin’s letting out the loveliest moans, muffled whimpers and breathless gasps and it's so hot and it has luke horny and his cock very much straining against his pants

doesn't help that anakin's dick is also very much erect and throbbing between them.

so when anakin no longer has any milk to pull, luke removes himself from his breast, and finds anakin's gaze. anakin looks wrecked and luke feels the same—knows he must look the same. anakin’s cock drips against his trousers and his fingers clutch at luke's shoulder.

a question hangs in the air, and they only stare at each other, with neither wanting to address it.

but then luke's desire gets the best of him and his hand goes for anakin's cock, hovers inches from his dick, when the door opens and obi-wan enters the house, greeting stopped mid-way when his eyes catch sight of them.

#i actually love the moment when obi-wan comes in bc all 3 of them FREEZE #bc for anakin and luke it feels like it's smth they're not supposed to do #boi why's this so long if u even read this ily #sw #f.ask #anaobiluke #lactation #anyways! luke loves milk drinks a glass everyday so he is very excitedly drinking from anakin #also im like thinking about smth like farmboy luke who just ended up in obi-wan's farm one day and obi-wan kinda adopted him #bc im trying to think of a way to make luke anakin's kid #but in a not plot-disruptive way or something #bc anakin doesn't fuck he's never fucked the thing is how the FUCK does he have a son #(or at least like WHO could he fuck yknow #cuz the whole point is anakin nor luke know they're father and son)#or we just fuck it luke is his son no explanation no reasons he just is #maybe luke just spawned one day idk he hatched from an egg literally who cares. but he's anakin's son bc yes #anicow #ns4w #analuke #also fun fact! i may have masturbated thinking about this lmao #well not this exactly #but what happens right after #aka anicow getting dicked by obiluke 😔🙌

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keistance · 1 year

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the thing about obi wan is that he's accustomed to deal with people (qui gon, the council, his childhood friends, his former lovers, even his enemies) that can see through him as if he were an open window so he assumes everyone else can too and thats a problem, you see, because the one person who needed to know those emotions and feelings existed saw that window panel as if it was shut with bolts and made of cement. so obi wan would leave the order and thus the only way he knows life to be (apart from outright civil war) to complete anakin's training, he would freeze time so anakin can always be a little child who seeks his comfort when the rain gets a little too loud and never has to experience any sadness greater than that, he would carry all his burdens and shoulder all his injuries so anakin's doesn't have to bear them, he would stop at nothing to save him; obi wan loves anakin like a brother, but anakin doesn't know any of that because obi wan isn't going to voice something that for him and everyone else is abundantly clear

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #sw meta #obi wan is also a right asshole so i dont exactly blame anakin on that one lol like it's not only they communicate their love in different #languages but obi wan ''we should have left you at watto's shop'' kenobi did not make it easy for the child #meeting a ''you are like a father to me'' with a ''then why do you never listen to me '' and taking a shot right afterwards #isnt the dad move of the year im just saying #my property

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wornkindness · 8 months

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this is one of those things that deserves a much longer meta because it's been rattling around in my brain for ages. but there's a lot actually about tcw amelia struggles with, pretty much from the start. it only gets worse as the wars going on. she says nothing about it to anyone outside of a very select small group of people. one of them being her father. tbh she spends more time making sure everyone else is taken care of so they don't crumble under the weight of everything before at all looking to herself

#&. i just really like sharks okay : ooc #amelia takes self care and having hobbies that aren't at all involved with her work very seriously from the get go #which is why she never crashes and burns out #but it does weigh on her #and when i say i small group of people i mostly mean her father which that alone is also it's own meta tbh #and in some cases obi wan but he has enough to deal with so it's not very often #but it's a thing im open to plotting about #&. GENERAL #&. verse : star wars

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deermook · 1 year

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Oouuughhghhh Obi wan and Anakin are just so. Suited for each other in every way, the facets of their lives and personalities and secret beliefs and feelings and opinions slot together in such a perfect blend of push and pull im going to eat drywall Right Now!!!!!! They are literally binary stars they’re a force diad they are interconnected in every facet of their lives you cannot have one without the other ohhhuuggh my GODDDD

#obi-wan is a winter forest and Anakin is blazing heat and open fields #theyre both hot and cold in opposing ways #both kind and loving and emotional in different ways #they both struggle with the tides of wmotion #with rage and love and sadness #endless pressure #endless expectations #father brother son lover it doesnt matter they fit every time perfect like puzzle pieces #im so. AUUUGHHFHSGRGRRVGG #AUUGGHHHHHHH IM GOING TO SCREAM #this is literally insane ramblings #obikin #sw #crying in the club RIGHT MEOW

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lains-reality · 9 months

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hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation��.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

#lainsmail

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tennessoui · 4 months

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Miss Kit your fans (me) are begging to know if Korkie recovers from his baby crush on Leia or if he's SO MAD at his Dad fir eventually making them step-siblings and dooming their love? Or is it just weird flashbacks where everytime Leia wears her hair in buns he's like my dad wouldn't have got together with her dad if I hadn't likened them to a breakfast item...

omg now this is interesting lol i feel like korkie doesn't know about the skywalker-kenobi relationship until they feel comfortable to announce it to all the kids

(luke knows before this because he catches them kissing, leia figures it out a few months later because luke is terrible at lying, korkie doesn't know until he's told)

but they're all firmly like. 7 or 8 before they know their dads are together and i think korkie has moved on in his baby crushes saga

BUT he will probably always blush when he sees cinnamon buns (especially after leia is his step-sister because oh god he had a crush on his step sister!!)

AND at the same time he DOES claim credit for getting them together because of the whole thing. he knows that's like gold in this rag tag family and he will slyly use it to get better presents for christmas or his favorite meals for dinner because his dad (later dads) did not raise a quitter!!

my boy baby korkie contains multitudes!!!

#asks #headmaster obi-wan au #obikin #im torn because i do like korkie being obi-wans biological son #but also i watched love actually recently with the rest of the world #and like the idea of obi-wan being his step father and there being no biological relation #but his real mom died so all he has is obi-wan #like that would be another interesting dynamic #has anyone ever said what if obi-wan was liam neeson in that movie lmao #(i say this

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nwndrlndn · 10 months

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modern anakin hcs

pairing : modern!anakin skywalker x gn!reader | wc : 1.4k | 18+MINORS DNI

a/n : this is just how i see a modern anakin. its kind of an add-on to boyfriend.

general hcs ( adaptational awareness )

anakin is some kind of scandinavian from shmi's side of the family and thats all he really cares about. his stance on his father and his full ancestry is "if he didn't want me then, i don't want him now" ( lies, we'll talk about the daddy issues later )

so shmi was probably born in a country thats similar to sweden or denmark and anakin probably spent his early years there. but by like 4 or 5 they moved from shmi’s home country to modern tatooine

so like picture little blond haired, blue-eyed anakin, right? imagine he was homeschooled for like the majority of his life and he walks into school with a swedish accent and basic english skills

eventually, shmi saves up enough money and gets a really good opportunity to send anakin to a really good school in coruscant

shmi taught him how to cook, clean, some housekeeping skills

and he has even less friends, but he got along with his peer mentor, obi-wan, who was like on the verge of graduating and saw anakin as a surrogate brother

anakin definitely isnt emo until he’s in college, before college, i imagine him dressing like scott barringer, loose clothes, light colors, and he keeps his hair blond

this era of anakin defintely liked car shops and had a part time at a niche interests store ( think like, a bait shop ) to help his mom

he met padme in his junior year of high school, she was one of those alumni who were asked to come back to talk about the college experience to high schoolers

and anakin ( having zero filter ) asked for her number after the talk and she shot him down but still gave him her number.

then like, going into his college orientation, he was pissed off because his mom had remarried while he was away. but he was coming to terms with it and liking his step brother and his fiance.

i picture he shows up kind of fucked up looking. like his hair is growing out and the texture is off, his clothes are dark on the inside, light on the outside, and he’s listening to music on his headphones the whole time

and you see him sitting by himself, a little off from the engineering majors and fiddling with something in his hands and you walk over to him, in spite of your major and your nerves and sit next to him

instantly the headphones are off because his cool, tough guy front is still just a front, he was HOPING someone would talk to him

and you guys hit it off, chatting away about everything and anything

even when you part ways and the orientation ends, he’s texting you randomly and oh my god, he thinks too fast for his thumbs

“hve you seen ovrdrive?” “wtff is that thing your ordered at ciplt? im picking up food fr obi and he hates when i bring spicey stuff” “hellp”

he moves in with doctoral candidate obi-wan for college and takes up a part time at a mechanic’s shop and another as an overnight security guard ( he just sleeps and works on assignments there )

he got his mom threepio, a golden retriever, but usually is playing with padmé’s border collie, artoo ( credit to this amazing fan art )

he asked out padme after he fixed her computer ( for funsies ) and didnt shut up about her the entire time they dated

anakin is clingy in relationships, literally would hold onto padmé’s bags while out in public so she wouldnt wander too far from him

and he just really liked the environment of padmé’s apartment, being around you, padmé, and sabé was just a really big comfort for him

his descent into becoming a metalhead mostly happened because one of his bosses suggested it to him

and slowly he started to enjoy it more and more

and his wardrobe got darker, developed an energy drink addiction, and he started letting you and padmé give him messy eyeliner

and it culminated when he asked you to help him box dye his hair and now theres a stain in his bathroom of a streak of black hair dye across the ceiling

the reason why anakin and padmé broke up was a healthy end because ani def got a little jealous and toxic and padmé had to sit him down and tell him it was for the best

and he resented her for a while, wouldn’t talk to her while at her apartment for a good month

but then he watched her burn food and he felt bad and ended up cooking something for her and they never spoke about it again

and he definitely liked you when you first met, even when he was dating padmé ( and the few flings he had after her )

he just made himself bury his feelings for a while by treating you like a best friend or little sister

hanging out with you when padmé took everyone on a lake house trip and was busy talking to others

his actual confession comes in the form of him making a really crappy bracelet at his work bench

yes, he literally set up a robotics station in his bedroom. he will literally invite you over and sound so excited to see you

only to focus and work for 8 hours with only two rockstars and his thrash metal playlist as sustenance

you can try to give him a snack and he’ll ( unintentionally ) glare at you until he realizes he’s been ignoring you for so long and he just picks you up and kisses you

now youve got anakin licking at your face and laying on top of you. he’s not coming up for air until he’s made up for every minute he ignored you accidentally

his favorite kind of date would either be a movie date or to go out for a drive then stargaze

he will put you in his clothes, whether you like it or not. and he smells a bit like like oil and sweat mixed with mint

he started getting tattoos because he saw it as a form of independence

he has one industrial piercing, and three others on each of his earlobes. the tongue piercing was for fun

he likes alternative girls more, but if you’re not alternative he won’t push you ( unless you like that )

will have a titty attack if you call him emo and not a metalhead ( theres a difference )

18 + hc

he’s so fucking WEIRD

so he probably gets off every other day because of his mind ( and because his hands wander so much that he gets himself worked up )

to get into the idea i mentioned in boyfriend

he got your name near his navel and once he realized he liked you, he would try to aim his releases over your name

and he’s not a bad shot

his hands wander naturally because he just likes to feel your skin. like its not even his intent to get sexual, he’s absently rubbing your back and like 5 minutes later he’s just massaging your ass and tits if you lay on him

he’s actually really big on doggy, he just really likes to look at your back

so he also likes bending you over tables, counters, his workbench, his bed, and security desk at work

he has aquaphilia. will feel you up in pools and in large bodies of water

he really likes biting and marking

during sex, he likes to focus on your neck and back

but in general he would be the kind of guy to give you a forehead hickey

and will rub off any makeup you put on to cover it

prefers to praise and worship you, and if you try the same, he’ll get awkward and embarrassed but lap it up anyways

if you degrade him and objectify him, he will fuck you within an inch of your life

he also has his own playlists that he plays when you guys are fucking

he broke the door to his room so it’s not the best place to have sex, unless youre ok with the possibility of someone walking in

obi wan accidentally walked in on you both once and had to leave the apartment for a week

he has tried to fuck you in his car but you bumped your head and he drove you straight home to ice it, refuses to even get road head because of it

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stealingpotatoes · 8 months

Note

The last episode of Ahsoka-

Literally- blow my mind- I had to stand up at least 3 times cause I was just so ???!!!!! !?!?!?!?!?!?!!??

Words can’t describe

The feeling that felt - xD

YEAH IM GONNA GO INSANE UNDER THE CUT ONE SECOND:

BITING THE FUCKING DRYWALL. BITING THE DRYWALL GNAWING CLAWING AND EATING IT. IM JUST. WHEN THE STAR WARS IS GOOD!! WHEN THE FANSERVICE ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!!! LIKE YES WE GOT TO SEE TCW ANAKIN AND TCW AHSOKA IN LIVE ACTION BUT IT ALSO ADDED TO THE STORY AND GAVE US CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR AHSOKA AND SAID YEAH, THE FUN TONE OF CLONE WARS WAS BC THE CHARACTERS COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT ANY OTHER WAY. THEY WERE PEACEKEEPERS AND CHILD SOLDIERS WATCHING FRIENDS DIE ON THE DAILY AND IF THEY DIDNT JOKE THEN THE GRIEF WOULD TAKE OVER. AND THEY DONT SEE THAT IN THE MOMENT BUT ADULT AHSOKA REALISES HOW STRANGE IT IS

AND YEAH HAVING HER PLAYED BY A CHILD (also wow ariana greenblatt does such a good job i literally cant not imagine her when i think of babysoka now) RLLY DRIVES HOME HOW YOUNG SHE WAS. HOW FUCKED UP IT WAS. BUT ALSO WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF WAR ARE!! ALL THIS SAID WHILE FORCE SENSITIVE CHILD JACEN'S SO HEAVILY IN THIS EPISODE. AND W THE KANAN MENTION!!!! LIKE ITS POINTING OUT LOOK THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN WAR AND IF AHSOKA DOESN'T END THIS THEN JACEN WILL HAVE TO BE LIKE HER AND HIS FATHER AND I AM ONCE AGAIN BITING AT THE DRYWALL. IT DIDNT JUST GIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IT GRABS YOU BY THE FACE AND SAYS THE RETURN OF THE EMPIRE IS SERIOUS. WAR IS SERIOUS. ITS NOT THE CARTOON YOU GREW UP WITH.

AND ALL OF ANAKIN JUST GESTURES TO ALL OF THAT. HAYDEN SLAYED SERVED CUNT THROUGHOUT HE'S SUCH A GREAT ANAKIN NOW HE HAD SO MUCH RANGE TO THE CHARACTER AND THE FLICKERING ANIVADER AND RED LIGHTSABER. HE'S BOTH AT ONCE AND AHSOKA HAS TO ACCEPT THIS AND IM EATING DRYWALL AGAIN.

calming down for 2 seconds the cinematography was great this episode and the pacing was a definite improvement from ep1, which filoni also directed! this played into his directing strengths a lot better w the action and emotion. i won't lie i'm still not sold on the show as a whole i do think eps 1-3 were okay i guess, 4 was a step up and 5 is like. wow ok go girl. also the way they used anivader in this episode made me rlly sad for the kenobi show bc that show should've been smthn like this, using him as a vision for obi-wan's development instead of the villain of the show bc thats a tired fight but hey! this is abt ahsoka not kenobi i digress. SPEAKING OF loved how it was actually ABOUT the titular character for once. anyway. going insane. i don't have too much faith the show can keep this up but i'll be happy if it can reach smthn close to this as it goes on

#ahsoka spoilers #thanks for the ask!

112 notes · View notes

buckyarchives · 9 months

Text

EARTHQUAKES CAN BE A FLIGHT RISK, TOO. [1/3]

modern obi-wan kenobi x female reader

w/c: 8k

!!!: obi-wan is referred to as ben. family trauma, jealous asshole men, anakin is dead and it comes up a lot.

heavily inspired by im with you by wkemep

ao3 / masterlist

“...ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? We regret to inform you that the current blizzard in Chicago has delayed several flights… for more specific information, please go to the customer service desk for your respected airline assistance. We are sorry for the inconvenience.”

The airline speaker announces like a mantra to a less-than-pleased crowd at O’hare international airport.

Watching as sun-kissed families that are more than ready to go home sit around barricaded by the feet of snow piling up on the floors, and behind and ahead of you people with permanent scowls as they come to the realization they'll be stuck in this airport for more than expected.

The line to the few customer service desks has loomed and looped around the place, from where you stand it looks like it never ends. You look forward and at the back of a pitch-black head of hair, a tall man in a suit taps his fingers on his leather briefcase and groans for the 10th time in the past few minutes, (yes, you're so bored you began to count). The snowfall outside was more of a blessing rather than a curse for you, you wear a small smile, completely unbothered by the long line ahead of you.

New Year's Eve is tomorrow, and tomorrow is your annual new year's party.

Your friend group has done it since high school, it's like a sort of reunion, and the only thing keeping your friend group alive. It seems no matter how far apart or distant any of you've grown, everyone manages to make it back to this party. You’re sure some of the reason is for the fact the girl, your best friend, that throws it every year is absolutely loaded. You're less than excited to go this year, though.

A loud, stressed yell of a man in a tacky Hawaiian button-up makes your head shoot up. You'd been watching the family at the front desk for a moment now, the stress of the toddler whining and the teenager complaining has probably gotten to the father. You understand, yet it still doesn't give him the right to yell at the customer service attendee just doing his job. You shake your head in disappointment.

“A bunch of barbarians.” is whispered with a thick accent behind you, loud enough to be heard but quiet enough to where it might have been directed at you.

You think to turn around to find out, but you don’t and keep looking ahead at the father yelling and successfully keeping the line looping around the airport.

“Honestly, I can't tell if the yelling is more embarrassing or the absolutely disastrous excuse of a shirt he's wearing.” the man behind you comments and even if he isn't speaking to you, you can't stop the snort that leaves you unprovoked.

“The socks and sandals combo, I think,” you mutter back, hoping in lands. It does, a small breathy laugh comes from the man behind you. Smiling to yourself, you still haven't turned around, yet.

You do - instead - shift your eyes to the large windows. The world is covered with snow and the bright lights of the city. A dystopian feeling washes over you that you're sure only comes from being at an airport this late, or so early in the morning. Time is irrelevant in the sense you only need to know how long it will take you to grab gum and some caffeine while also being able to make it to your boarding gate on time.

You snicker to yourself, accepting the fact you'd be completely okay with your flight being canceled or missing your boarding time.

The line erupts into chaos, it happens so quickly. The Hawaiian shirt must have blown his top, taking a step back and causing a domino effect to the line. The businessman with no bits of patience falls back on you and before you can even get a yelp out, hot coffee pours down your sweatpants and solid arms brace your fall.

The world moves on though, everyone's eyes don't stop looking annoyed, at their phones or flight board. The man in the Hawaiian shirt continues to yell, and apparently, so do you.

“Asshole! I spent a good 4 dollars on that!” you push yourself out on the arms of the mystery funny man behind you and barrel forward like a goddamn tank, you'd barely got a few spits out of that drink! Grasping at his shoulder to get his attention, the man whips back fast.

“You got your coffee on my shoes, you bitch!” his finger raises to your face, he's tall. You should feel intimidated but irritation blinds you and your rage doesn't stop your shouts.

“Me! You're the one with no sense of surroundings and bumped into me!”

“Listen here, young lady – “ he begins to step into your space, tower over you and fear suddenly washes over you. Flinching as his pointer finger waves around, you shut your eyes and an arm from behind you brushes past your shoulder.

Blinking your eyes open, 5 fingers are spread out and pushing the businessman back, whose gaze is looking past you now.

“Please back off the girl, sir.'' His voice is stern, an interesting contrast to the sarcastic tone from moments ago. It sends a chill down your spine and you haven't even seen his face yet.

Your eyes trailed from his hand down to his cream hoodie sleeve, slowly he steps in front of you and between the man. You notice his side profile, a large mole on his cheekbone and then the back of his sandy blonde hair as he speaks to the man.

“Do you know how much these shoes cost? Just for coffee to be spilled all—”

“I suggest you settle down, turn around or you'll have to argue about your cheap shoes to airport security,” he speaks with a stern, calm tone. “And with this layover, you do not want to be stuck in airport security.”

You're not sure if it was the threat itself or the intimidating aura this man suddenly gave off, but the businessman turns around with a stank in his eyes and a grumble leaving his lips. You're impressed, to say the least.

“Are you alright?'' The sandy blonde hair turns around once the threat is seemingly gone, his voice is less stern and replaced with a surface-level worry. You notice his eyes, they're piercing through you.

Your fingers run down your wet pants, it's warm but bearable, not noticeable.

“Uh, yes, I think so.” just startled and damp, you almost say.

“I'll get you another cup of coffee once we survive this line,” his Atlantic blue eyes dart from your hands to the head of the line, and then back to you.

“You don't need to, you weren't the one to bump into me.” you wave his offer off, “anyways, you did enough with that dude.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, with a surprising amount of concern in his voice for a stranger that literally fell into him.

“Yes, I'm sure,” you say, suddenly feeling like a deer in headlights as he stares at you. You reach your hand out, offering your name.

His smile catches you off guard, it's warm and reaches his blue irises, and the sides of his eyes crinkle. It's genuine and very, very pretty.

“Ben Kenobi, it's nice to meet you.”

The line moves, thankfully, and you're reminded of the fact Ben had technically stolen your spot. He notices as well.

“Oh, dear. I’m sorry, I didn't mean to step in front of you.'' He gently pushed you in front of him, with a gentle hold on your upper arm. His hands are impossibly warm, you don't like physical touch, much less from a stranger at an airport. But this was okay. He coughs and you turn around, he might as well disappeared then, except for the fact his presence loomed over you to an uncomfortable extent.

Time is still irrelevant and you notice how quickly the line begins to move now, the airport has seemed to get a grasp on the situation as the flight plan board begins to flicker with dots of green and another customer service worker starts a new line. You almost forget about your coffee-soaked pants until you begin to move to break off into a new line, conveniently having a suitcase full of clothes.

The boy behind the desk looks barely eighteen, maybe just a babyface. Either way, you can tell the stress of the situation is getting to him. His ears and cheeks are tinted red in stress and his eyes dart wildly in anxiety, you do your best to be considerate.

As he begins to punch in the number for your flight, you wait patiently, and out of the corner of your eye, you see Ben at the desk next to yours. Glancing over, he glances back with those piercing blue eyes. Have you ever seen something so blue? You smile kindly, one of those smiles you give to someone whom you're not friends with, but not strangers. It's fitting.

“Thank you for your patience, ma’am.” you hear, he clears his throat and you notice his anxiety diminishing. “We are still watching the blizzard before we can get a confirmed time of departure for your flight from Chicago to San Diego. Please be patient and keep watch on the flight information boards and announcements going forward. We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience.”

You nod and thank the man for his help, he smiles at you, watching his shoulders slack a little. Honestly, you'd rather stay camped out around cranky kids than step foot in the state of California right now. You have no complaints and an unusual bounce in your step as you go to find a place to rest until you hear more news about your flight.

A part of you wonders why you even agreed to go this year, a moral obligation to the unspoken tradition that's been going on for over a decade now? Probably. To see your best friend? You see her normally, you don't need a stupid New years party to see her. You know he will be there and just for that fact you're dreading it.

Seeing him by choice should be considered self-harm at this point. Especially since the last time you saw him, because you know once you see his stupid smile the cycle will repeat and you'll be head over heels. Your eyes dart back to your flight schedule. Delayed. Good.

Your name is shouted from behind you, faintly you hear it and have to let yourself hear it again before turning around. Ben comes walking close with a military backpack slung over one shoulder. He's still calling out your name before you ground yourself enough to respond.

“Hey, Ben. Updates on your flight?”

He shakes his head and wears a bittersweet smile, he doesn’t seem so down about the blizzard either. You wonder for a moment if he too is versed in the art of balancing on earthquakes just to fall, because that's what this is, whatever you're doing right now.

“Nope, off to terminal D to wait it out.”

Your eyebrows perk up in surprise, “terminal D, huh?”

“Would that be where you're headed as well?” he catches on, the end of his lip quirked up slightly. You notice the freshly groomed beard. It suits him but you also notice the razor cuts lower on his neck, it makes you want to laugh.

“It would be.”

“In that case,” his eyes darted to the terminal entrance, a sense of familiarity was in his eyes. “I think you should let me buy you a new coffee.”

Wow, this man is stubborn.

An amused smile paints your face, and you almost laugh. Not sure why. Thinking to protest, but you remember a conversation you had with your therapist. Looming over your shoulder telling you to say yes to good things more, even if you believe you don't deserve it. This could be a good thing, or this could be nothing and you steal a latte from this man and never see him again. Either way, caffeine does sound good.

“Okay, Ben. Lead the way,” you say and Ben smiles, he tells you there's an okay coffee shop in this terminal he swears by. You trust him and watch the back of his head as you walk down the terminal.

Your palms are slick as you grasp at your suitcase handle, the clicking sound as the wheels hit the grooves in the airport floor turning to white noise. Trying to cast out any thoughts of this party, or actually attending it.

“Where are you going? If you don't mind me asking,” he asks, the sounds of the world come rushing back and Ben’s walking next to you now.

He must have slowed his steps for you, his eyes are still so blue even under the dull lights. You didn't realize you made it to the cafe already. It smells warm of vanilla, a stark contrast from the artificial smell of cleaning products the rest of the airport gave off. Ben is still looking at you.

“San Diego,” you answer plainly as you step into line. Two blonde-haired teen girls stand in front of you, giggling about something. In Front of them is a college-aged student with heavy bags and headphones over her ears, she's ordering something with too many shots of espresso.

Ben laughs, “Me too. La Jolla.”

“Clairemont.”

A beat of silence. Ben rocks on his feet and puts one hand over the other in front of him, his eyes darting to the menu. “What will you be having?”

You hum, overwhelmed by all the options. Maybe this is the time to try something new, you think.

“just an iced latte with espresso.” old habits die hard. You always get that drink, no matter the cafe, no matter the state, no matter if a handsome and polite stranger offers to buy you anything you’d like. Maybe you should have gotten a matcha or a cappuccino to make yourself more interesting.

“Alright.” he nods.

“Thank you,” you mutter.

“It's no problem,'' Ben smiles and it's so genuine, it feels strange to be on the receiving end of such a genuine smile from a man you met only a few moments ago. “If you want – you can grab a table or change out of those pants while I order.”

You look down at yourself, the sweatpants are practically dried now and you really didn't feel like digging through your bag in the middle of this cafe. “Thank you, again.”

Ben just nods and you roll your suitcase and yourself to a table, it's sitting next to the glass window and looking at a middle-aged man passed out on a bench. You hope he doesn't miss his boarding time. A group of adults with fruity drinks laugh together, surrounded by luggage.

your fingers brush your hair out of your face, taking a deep breath in and just settling, only for a moment. Glancing back to the front, Ben is ordering and the barista has a smile on his face. With a look of familiarity in his eyes as he speaks to Ben, it's obvious they are speaking about more than just coffee order, he must be an old friend.

Quickly, the unknown but apparently familiar barista glances towards you, and back to Ben's face once he notices you were looking too. That was embarrassing. His face is painted with surprise, and happiness when he looks back to Ben, just before you could look away and dwell on your own life.

Ben comes walking back, you sit up straighter so maybe he doesn't get the impression your rethinking all your life choices up to now. You know? Bad first impressions and all.

Well, you may have already checked that box now. Great.

“So,” he smiles, setting two cups down. A piping hot chai with lavender and honey and your drink, a simple latte. “What's in San Diego that you've decided to travel to during a blizzard?”

“Uh,” you stutter, do you lie so as not to get into the dread of why you wish to not be going? Hmmm, he is a complete stranger as well. “Well, I didn't technically choose to travel during this. Mother nature as her own mind.”

Ben chuckles, “That is true, I guess.”

“A party.” you spit out. “A New Year's party, I've had it every year since sophomore year.”

“Oh, college or high school?”

“High school.”

He sits back, an amused smile, maybe even a little shocked as you’re in your early 30s now. “Wow, long-time tradition.”

“Yeah.” you breathe, sipping at your latte. It is pretty good, you are glad you followed this stranger into this cafe. Better than Starbucks, god, you could roll your eyes.

“Excited?”

Your eyebrows furrow, “excuse me?”

“Are you excited about the party?” he clarifies.

Are you this out of your mind? Nothing feels real right now.

You pause, almost choking on your own words. Do you lie?

“Yes.” you keep it short and simple, gritting your teeth.

Ben hums, seeming not too convinced. You had never been a good actor before.

“Sorry,” you say before Ben could even ask if you were lying, “I'm not good at small talk.”

“That so?” his eyebrows quirks up, “big talk then. What first? Politics? Religions? The meaning of life? Pineapple on pizza?”

You smile, “It's criminal, fruit doesn't belong on pizza.”

“Oh, have you tried it?” a cheeky grin falls to his face and he leans forward.

“I don't feel I need to, I know it will taste horrible,” you say.

Ben just laughs at you and it's warm and genuine and it's nice enough to wear it rings in your ears and for a moment, muffles out any thought of him. You think, maybe you can get used to this. Once again, your eyes find the world around you and you begin to notice more and more stressed passengers scrambling for their brains and flight times. You sigh, a part of you wishes you could care so much.

Ben observes everything too, he looks almost nostalgic. You've known this man for only twenty minutes and he's been the most interesting or mysterious man you've encountered in a while. You're not sure which word is best to describe him yet, you haven't decided.

“All hell is going to break loose soon, we’ll have to make a game plan,” he says, deadly serious and it makes you smile. It's never been that easy.

“Game plan?”

“Of course.” Ben sits up straighter. “We’ll need to find food, shelter, chargers, and entertainment. In order of importance.”

The question slips off your tongue, “You seem familiar with this, do you travel a lot.”

An emotion flashes across his face, it's unknown to you, but it didn't seem very positive. You'd wish you held your tongue, instead, you sip your coffee.

“Somewhat, more as a kid than now.” you're trying not to overanalyze the way he sounds sad when he said that like it was a pain to come back. It's probably nothing. You sip your coffee again and so does he.

Ben's eyes glance to the clock, “well, we should probably get to it.”

It's funny, you don't realize this now but the way he doesn't need to ask, or you need to request teaming up on surviving the O’hare international airport blizzard. But you do, you get up and follow him again as he begins to ask you about your favorite food, if you're vegan or gluten-free. Maybe it is the bonding over coffee and assholes that molded this, an unspoken bond within 30 minutes. It's quite impressive, you think.

You just hope he doesn't turn out to be creepy or some serial killer luring you in with his charm and blue eyes, it seems like a recipe for another Ted Bundy. But within those piercing blues, you see kindness and a sort of pain you would only be able to recognize in yourself. Maybe you have a strong intuition, or maybe you're stupid, but you continue to follow him into a small convenience store.

The air still smells like a cleaning product, you catch a whiff of garlic when you walk past a certain aisle and then cold air once you reach the back. You grab a water and soda, a few strides to the right and you turn around, one thing of pringles and gum. You look up and see Ben's hair bobbing up and down as he walks down another aisle, just before he shows himself in front of you with handfuls of his own snacks.

“All good?” he asks you, checking up on you. It's sweet.

“Mhm.”

The cashier rings you both up, once again, Ben knows the cashier.

“Haven't seen you around her in awhile, Ben.” her raspy voice speaks, she looks to be in her 60s with a head of shoulder-length gray hair. She balanced red glasses on the tip of her nose and wears a soft, apologetic smile as she greets him.

“Can't stay in Chicago forever,” he says, you think about what that means. He said he traveled a lot. Maybe you think too much.

Her hand grazes over the bag of m&m’s, the yellow-colored pouch ones with peanuts. Her face goes sour, a stark and surprising contrast from the happy customer service mask you recognize. She holds them in front of her like it was a flaw, but she doesn't say anything and lets Ben notice it first. He does.

“Oh,” he says, almost like he surprised himself that'd picked them up and carried them all the way here. “Habit. I'll put them back.”

Habit?

You watch the interaction with a solid confusion from start to end, feeling like an outsider watching from within, an inside joke you can’t seem to grasp. From the apologetic, embarrassed, and solemn faces – it definitely isn't funny though. Ben speeds up, grasping the package all too tightly with his eyes trained on the ground and then he disappears around in isle.

The cashier looks back at you, she doesn't know you but she knows Ben. She smiles, it's a sad smile and she understands your confusion.

“They were his little brother’s favorite.” is all she says, you're still confused and your brain urges you to ask more. It feels way too personal though, and Ben is already back with empty hands.

He pays, you pay. You try not to think too hard about what it means and why she looked so sad telling you that, you don't think to ask either.

________________________________

Ben's palms are hot and sweaty as he wipes them on his pants, he's doing better. He's talking to new people, new people being a very pretty stranger during a flight delay. Only one small slip-up, it wasn't his fault really, muscle memory because normally Anakin would kill him for not getting his m&m’s. Maybe he should have just bought them anyway.

He passed the terminal D sign, he could navigate this place blind. Your railing close next to him looking around curiously, shelter. That was the next part of the game plan.

“Over here,” he mutters, glancing at you. Show you a mostly deserted corner, a free outlet (rare), and close enough to a flight board so each of you'd be able to keep up to date. Not like Ben really wants to see those red words turn green, shamefully.

You settle in, you drop your backpack, and park your suitcase against a wall. Ben goes straight for the outlet with his charger, got to hog them before any iPad kids can. You follow and sit next to him on the large window sill, his phone buzzes alive and he's met with a picture of Leia and Luke crawling onto his shoulder. It was when they were only 5 years old and they'd taken a trip to the beach for Ben's birthday, it was also the last time he'd seen either of them. He bites back a frown.

“Cute kids.” your voice brings him down to gravity, and his head started spinning in the convenience store. Forgetting you were looming over his shoulder. “They yours?”

“Oh, no.” Ben gulps, “my niece and nephew, they're twins.”

You just smile and not, not saying anything else.

“You should probably change out of those pants. Do you have something else to change into?” Ben asks, eyeing your stuff.

“Oh, yeah. Thank you for reminding me.” you jump down from the window sill and zip open your suitcase. Ben watched as you rummage through your clothes to pull out a pair of black shorts, “I'll be right back, save my spot?”

“Of course.”

And you headed to the restrooms.

Ben looks back down at your wide-open suitcase, he's not nosey or creepy, but he notices the short and sparkly dress laid out on the top. It looks incredibly fancy and even a little skimpy. He thinks you'd look pretty in it.

You come back in no time, legs on displacement and Ben notices your beat-up converse, little doodles along the soles. Ben smiles to himself.

“Do you mind if I ask?” the words leave his mouth without permission, and he glances back to the sparkly fabric absolutely intrigued. He's probably crossing some personal line right now, but his mind can't stop thinking of your face - compared to now, at least – when he asked if you were excited. You say yes with a disappointed look while sitting in a long line knowing your flight will be delayed with a satisfied look in your eyes. It's curious, but Ben thinks he understands fully.

“Are you actually excited for this party?”

You look like you've been hit with a brick, for a stranger to be able to suspect your real emotions so well, to be able to read you, to detach that carefully crafted method of acting. You look down at your shoes, clench your fist and look back up at him. Smiling, it's not genuine, but it's what he would call a smile, “no, not really.”

Ben nods, he understands.

You huff and shoulder slack, sitting next to him. The secrets out and the boulders on your shoulder begin to lift, slightly. The overbearing weight that you could still be eating on a slight soon still hangs heavy over your head.

“It's horrible, but I was actually so excited to find out about my flight delaying.” you laugh to yourself, it's self-depreciative. “It's just…” the words begin to slip out of your mouth, “I've known these people forever and obviously, you go through a lot with people you've known that long, but we still make an obligation to go to this party no matter what. This year though, some of my relationships with people there are a bit shakier than usual.”

“I understand,'' Ben breathed out. His voice shakier than usual, now he won't let the water break the damn, he's sure of it.

“You do?” you light up ever so slightly, looking at him with sudden curious eyes. A sense of understanding and someone to bear your burdens with, your shoulders look even more relaxed. Ben wants to curse at himself when he notices your lip quirked up when you start to speak. “What troubles face you on the other side of this stupid flight.”

Maybe he won't let himself crack, maybe.

Ben gulps, “Yes, uh.” he thinks, should he? “My family–”

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” You seem cautious, but Ben would be a hypocrite if he didn’t even vaguely explain his situation after you practically spilled your guts in the wonderfully terminal D of O’hare international airport. “I know how some family drama can be.”

“No, it's okay.” he laughs off your incredible consideration, breathing heavily. Why does he do this to himself? Just don't mention Anakin, he tells himself that it's going to make any difference once he opens his mouth. The damn always breaks.

You nod and sit patiently, attentively and it makes Ben's chest thump. What is wrong with him? He frowns with pink-tinted ears because what good has come from learning to pretend?

“My sister-in-law and I don’t have the greatest relationship, currently…” Don't mention him, don't say his name. “So I haven't seen my niece and nephew for a while.” your eyes widen, not because of the simple fact of what he said. No, you feel bad about asking, obviously, it's a sore subject. You think you should have known, but you didn't. “And no good has really come from that either, I've pretty much been digging myself a hole with her and the kids over the past few years and well, their tenth birthday is in a few days so I'm trying to make steps to apologize for my absence.”

You don't say anything, but you understand. Ben can tell by the way you're looking at him, you know there more though. You don’t push or prod, you wait.

“But it's very scary, as you can tell,” he says, avoiding eye contact and looking at his sweaty palms, he's still sitting on the window seal with blinking city lights just past you two. The cold feeling on the large glass panels calms him and single-handedly keeps him back from breaking down. Ben learns to find comfort in the dangerous blizzard, strange, isn't it? He's never liked the cold before.

“I feel guilty for being happy about the delay, I should be excited to see them.”

A beat of silence, he shouldn't have said that. A failure of an uncle, a bad listener, and a bad person. He's just laying it all out too, ironic. Just as he called himself a hypocrite.

“Well all my best friends are at this New years party and you don't see my moping around about this flight delay, hm?” you say like it's just that easy, maybe it should. “Don't feel too guilty, you are nervous, you're human.”

You're human.

______________________________________

It's been an hour, you think.

Actually, you're not sure about it all. having not checked the time in a while, much more occupied by beating Ben at uno. It's been borderline embarrassing having handfuls of cards as he yells uno for the 8th time. But hey, you're learning things about each other whilst doing it, and how bad is getting to know a charming, handsome stranger with a toothy grin even if he's absolutely killing you with +four cards.

“Uno!” you look up to see a cheeky grin and unfortunately, one uno card in his hand.

“You have to be cheating!” you murmur.

“Sorry, I'm just very good at reading people.” he quips back and you hate the shine in his eye as he speaks, it's making it very hard to be mad at him.

“You know, if the shoe fits.” you nervously put down a green five, eyes glancing up at him as Ben watched you intensely. His face is empty and calm, but Ben puts down his last card and you erupt into a pained groan. “This is horrible for me!”

Ben just laughs softly, grabbing the deck of cards and yours and beginning to shuffle them once more. You originally planned to sleep off or even finish that book you've long neglected during this delay, anything to not think, but this. This was an alternative you were okay with.

Most of the airport got the memo, keeping watchful eyes on the flight information and listening ear to the announcer. For those that could – slept, read, snacked away. Parents did anything to keep their children quiet or entertained. It was a sort of humility you'd only ever see during such a situation, it helped the doom brewing in your chest.

“So what did you say you did for a living?” you ask, as Ben hands you another seven cards.

A new discovery was made soon after you got to know Ben. Small talk is much more bearable whilst multitasking, so those awkward beats aren't filled with even more awkward little “interesting” or “that's so cool,” which are most of the time, very ingenuine.

But the small talk you started with had slowly snowballed into big talk, or whatever Ben has called it in the cafe. You'd learned Ben's favorite color was blue, he was thirty-nine. obviously, he's very good at uno. That one you figured out on your own, besides that, it's been purely basics.

“Well, I am currently unemployed.” Ben swallows, putting down a red nine.

You put down a red-three, “almost forty and unemployed. You're brave.”

“Are you shaming unemployed people?” he deadpanned and his certain sarcastic demeanor makes you giggle.

“No! I've been there once, you know,” you add, leaning back to get a good view of your cards before getting another down. “I just mean, what do you do with your life?”

“Mope.”

“Be serious, Ben!”

“Okay, okay.” he settles, putting down another card. “I am currently living off the government's money, army back pay. I read books, and visit cafes. Read books in cafes, draw pictures in them too, but only sometimes.”

“Army?” that would explain the military bag, the non-humanly straight posture, and definitely the traveling.

Ben looks away, almost embarrassed when he speaks, “Twenty years.”

You want to gawk, but that'd be rude. Should you say thank you for your service? Based on his demeanor now, you don’t think that's a great idea. It's always forced and no one really means it anyways.

Instead, you ask probably an even worse question. “Why'd you leave?”

Ben's figure taps rapidly on his card in hand, he's trying his best to keep eye contact with you but you can tell it's hard for him. You regret asking him that, maybe you should have stayed in your comfortable small talk area.

“My brother,” Ben starts, barely holding himself together by grasping at the uno card. “He passed almost 10 years ago and I decided then I would leave since he had just had children.”

Oh, that’s what the moment in the convenience store was about. You think about this place and everyone that seems to know him, assuming they knew his brother as well. This airport must bring some conflicting memories.

“That was very considerate of you, Ben.” You answer honestly, your mouth feels dry as the syllable leaves his mouth.

“It was hard.” Ben looks down at his hands and shuffles the few uno cards in his hands. “I’m not a patriotic person but the military was my life. I left to help my brother's wife and didn’t realize I would need help after making that decision.”

There’s a beat of silence. You feel an uneasy rage for Ben, rage towards the corrupt military system and how it treats its veterans. That’s definitely something that can be hashed out another time.

“I failed her.”

It scares you how sincere and accepting he is of the phrase that he spoke, too comfortable with his failings like it’s a second skin.

“What are you doing?” You ask softly.

Ben's head shoots up, confused, caught off-guard. “What?”

You nod ahead, urging his response because you know he heard you.

“I, uh,” Ben stutters for the first time since you’ve met, which arguably, isn’t that long. “I’m getting on a plane, to see my nieces and nephew for their birthday.”

You smile, not bothering to say anything, hoping he gets what you were getting at. Maybe you’re an optimist for everyone but yourself, or a fool. Ben looks ahead at you, intense eye contact grows and you feel his stare in your stomach. It’s strange.

Ben knows what you’re saying, knows that you see he’s trying, and do not believe he’s a failure. You see it, and you’ve known him for less than a day. Scary.

“Uno.”

Ben looks down at your hands and sees one card, he smiles.

_______________________

“Do you have any pets?”

A few more hours pass, and an empty uno card and another solo trip for caffeine later. The careful question games continue.

“No, but I used to have a husky.”

You gasp, almost choking on your spit since the dynamic of hanging your head upside down off a bench didn’t agree with that exasperation. “That’s so cool.”

“She was very pretty,” Ben says, he sounds a little occupied but not annoyed. It’s nice and helps with your overwhelming boredom. “Do you?”

“I wish,” you say. “I think my landlord would crucify me, my plants will suffice.”

“Do you name them?”

“What?”

Ben laughs like he knows the question itself sounds a little ridiculous. “Do you name your plants?”

“No, I don’t think I’d be able to keep track.” You look at Ben from the corner of your eye, he lay covered in a tan-colored shawl.

The airport had started to grow chilly and your choice of camping out by the large windows maybe wasn’t too practical, the pretty lights make up for it. Ben looks comfy, his black sweats and crème colored sweatshirt make him look too good, way too good. A man that knows color theory is dangerous. Hoping he doesn’t notice your lingering glances.

“I’m assuming you name your plant then.” You taunt.

“Oh, yes.” He pauses to yawn, “any sane person would.”

“Are you calling me insane?” You spring up, blood rushing to your head and leaving you a little dizzy. Shooting playful daggers at Ben, failing to hide the quirk on the corner of your lip as you speak.

“What? Never.” He’s dripping with sarcasm. Rolling your eyes, you get to your feet and make small strides to sit next to Ben.

“I thought about being a landscaper,” Ben adds.

“Oh, so you like plants that much?”

He chuckles under his breath, “I guess you could say that. Being able to design spaces and make nature more beautiful than it already is – deeply interests me.

“I say go for it.”

Ben's head cranes and he looks at you, looking for something in your features. He must have found it because he looks satisfied when he turns away and says, “I might have to.”

Ding!

Both of your heads shoot down to your phone as it lights up, just some random email, probably about work or some store you signed up for sending you more 30% coupons.

“Are those your friends?” Ben says, eyes still looking at your phone. Not the email, your wallpaper. In photos from last year's party, everyone sat on the couch, some on the floor in front, and some laying on the back above everyone. “I’m sorry if I’m being nosy.”

“It’s okay,” you laugh, despite the sting in your chest thinking about the memory. It’s fair though, considering you were in the same scenario earlier, prodding about his life and generally being nosy. You had forgotten that photo was even in your wallpaper album, the phone turns off and back on to re-notify you of the email, and a new photo is replaced. “And yes, those are my friends.”

“You seem awfully happy and close to dreading this trip,” Ben adds.

“We are close but,” you drag out, contemplating your words. Bens watching you so attentively, almost zoned in on your face and lips. His eyebrow quirks with curiosity and anticipation.

“But?” Ben prods, not that you mind.

“It’s stupid.” You drop your head shamefully.

“I doubt that.”

“You’ll laugh.”

“Oh, I doubt that even more.” He says under a breathy life, an amused smile dances on his lips.

“You’re laughing right now!” You accuse him, but Ben's eyes dance around your face first, looking for something. His mouth opens to speak, he knits his eyebrows and draws back.

“Excuse me then, I’m serious and definitely will not laugh,” Ben says, you want to smack the grin on his face.

You also really want to know what he was going to say before that statement.

Groaning, “Fine.”

You breathe in once and another out, “there’s this boy, we’ve had a complicated relationship for many, many years now. Last year it kind of all came to a stop after some… decisions. We haven’t spoken for a year now and I’m just, I don’t know, dreading seeing him.”

Ben hums, and you watch for a response. For him to laugh for being so stressed out over such a silly reason, especially in comparison to his problems. Not that it’s a competition.

“That’s certainly not stupid.”

You want to roll your eyes, sarcastically you murmur, “Sure.”

“I’m serious,” Ben affirms. He does sound incredibly serious, you shift nervously in your seat. Your knee brushing against his thigh as you sit with your legs crossed, Ben tenses slightly. “Don’t undermine your feelings. I understand your nervousness, I know I do not know the full story but may I share some advice?

“No one is stopping you.”

Ben yawns once more, excusing such actions before continuing. “This boy, no matter what experiences you’ve had, he’s just a boy. I don’t think you should put so much weight on it and let him ruin your happiness. You shouldn’t worry too much about the past, it’s happened and you can’t change it, focus on the now.”

You snort, “Easier said than done.”

Ben makes a sound of agreement before facing you, leaning in way too close. He raises a hand and taps the temple of your forehead, “It's all up here, once you put in the work, your mind will fill in the blanks and adapt.”

You feel his breath as he speaks, much less focused on his words of advice and rather trying not to drown in the pair of Atlantic blue’s absolutely staring you down. You feel vulnerable and stripped down under his glare, but warm and seen.

With another yawn, Ben and you share another knowing glance. “I think your mind wants to sleep, Ben.”

Ben purses his lips, as to protest before realizing he is defeated. Before he can reply, you reassure him, “I’ll watch your flight.”

So you do, and Ben sleeps. Pretty quickly he had fallen asleep and your shoulder burned when eventually his head dropped on it. You didn’t mind, quite the opposite, it was just a new sensation you weren’t mentally prepared to hash out in the particular circumstances.

Looking down you see his scruff, sandy hair with blonde highlights that look way too tempting to run your hands through. His lashes are long, you're jealous. The colors he wears make him look warm and comfy, you see a scar on his forehead and cheekbone, next to his

Mole. If you looked closer and maybe if it wasn’t winter, you’d see freckles littered across his nose.

Thinking about how he called himself a failure, kept his niece and nephew as his wallpaper despite how long it’s been since he’s seen them. You wonder what his plants' names are and if he has a favorite, you hope he gets to become a landscaper. Imagining him in a cozy sweater, at some warm cafe with a cappuccino and sketchbook drawing beautiful gardens and decorated patios, just to turn them into reality.

You fully understand what you're doing is a dangerous game, you know this routine in and out. The wondering, the gawking, and imagining. You’d always romanticize and fill in gaps with romance, it’s what brought you to your current dilemma. Now you sit with a stranger, in a Chicago airport with him sleeping on your shoulder as you imagine yourself sitting across from him in coffee shops.

_______________________

“....Flight 213 to Clairemont airport is boarding at terminal D, gate 2….”

You shifted your head, eyes blinking open to the fluorescent lights above you.

“Last call for flight 213 to Clairemont airport is boarding at terminal D, gate 2….”

That's your fight, you sprung up, not realizing your head has been resting on a still-asleep Ben’s lap. His neck rolled back onto the edge of the uncomfy airport benches. You ruffled your hair, looked at your watch. You'd been asleep for maybe an hour, your eyes searched for your flight on the board. It was indeed boarding, finding Ben's shortly after. You would probably jump out of a plane right now if you missed it because you fell asleep.

Ben needs to see his family and if you're the cause of that not happening… you'd never forgive yourself. Your eye found the number 215, Still delayed, which is still unfortunate but good for now.

You wished you had time to bask in the innocence and calmness on Ben's face before having to wake him up, you were on a time schedule though.

Gently placing a hand on his shoulder, the fabric of his sweatshirt was way too inviting. “Ben, Ben, come on sleepyhead. Wake up, Ben,” you spoke softly, you saw his eyes begin to lull open.

“Anakin?”

Your eyebrows knotted, reeling back, “What? Ben, wake up. I have to go.”

“Anakin, i'm sorry.” his voice was rough from sleep, and sorrow filled. His voice almost cracked in his dreamlike state.

Looking at your watch again, You need to go, but you weren't inconsiderate enough to leave without saying something. Your hand grasped his shoulder and shook him gently, his eyes shot open and his breath caught up. For a moment, you wondered if you should mention the name, better not.

The life came back to Ben, frantically looking around to check where he was before his eyes found you, fully conscious this time. His name left his lips quietly.

“I have to go, they did the last call,” you babbled, beginning to gather the small amount of things you had out. Phone, charger, snacks… check, check, check.

Ben was shifting awake and to his feet above you, you noticed him peering at the flight plans as well. “Uh, do you need any help?” he came to your aid as you somewhat frantically stuffed and zipped your bag up.

You found yourself stuck in a gaze with him again, his eyebrows were slightly furrowed with sleep still lingering and he swallowed nervously. Suddenly, your mouth felt cotton dry.

“Don't forget what I told you, okay?”

Your chest feels heavy, a strange feeling creeps up your neck that makes your stomach feel uneasy. Reeling up and preparing for this to end, like some fucked up story or abruptly ended song. Slick palms grasp your backpack strap and suitcase handle, as you now stand face to face.

“I won't.” you swallowed, “thank you, Ben.”

Ben smiles, it's small but so genuine and so sweet that your teeth begin to ache.

You think it's appropriate to say goodbye now, but it feels wrong, so wrong. Maybe you’re selfish and the thought of saying bye to him despite the circumstances leaves a bad, yearning feeling in your mouth and doom deep in your chest.

“Good luck,” you decide, the implication doesn't hurt any less but it feels like you're letting yourself down easier.

“And to you too.” Ben nods.

You begin to turn and find your gate. It feels like your body hit a brick wall, your knees don't move except to let you turn around and look back.

One last look.

“Hey, Ben,” you say, and god, his eyes are piercing. Even with so many feet between you, this was a dangerous tightrope you were balancing on now. “You haven't failed anyone, and don't dig yourself a hole and give anyone a reason to think you have, yeah?”

“I promise.”

Then, you turn back around and prepare for the flight ahead.

Comment to be added to the tag list to be the first to hear when part 2 and 3 come out!!

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