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#and the worst of all...he is british

linterteatime · 6 months

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moooom there's a gay ass cat outside :(

#courage the cowardly dog #katz #cartoon network #fanart #my art #and the worst of all...he is british

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eolande · 1 month

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dd2 beastren bbi crossover lady's name is nehanshika after the deino3330 song. she will be a tiger and have black hair and wear the stargazers robes bc i think it'd be fun to contrast with the ddda berserkin. they're the same but also have interesting differences. she'll be a trickster.... she'll be taller and not completely flat chested like the rest of my ocs cause i have repetitive habits. her pawn will be a guy.... i'm thinking his name will be something epic and funny like wormwood or some kind of crystal. it'd be funny if he had glasses.... it'd also be interesting if he was maybe like a midnight blue/black type of deal bc they do let u do that with beastren fur. idk abt his class yet.... can a pawn be a mystic knight for fun please. maybe he learns it when he comes to bbi since mystic knight isn't in dd2 world.... on bbi anything is possible and that's why life is beautiful

#clyde.txt #i'm thinking like 6'4 for nehanshika.... i would do 7 but all of them including barroch are fucking tiny as he'll she'll be a foot taller #than all of them at 6'4 😭😭 idk barroch is like 5'5 or 5'6.... fauna is 4'11 i believe and tenanye is 5'2. idk how tall wormwood will be #yet.... he's one i'll have to workshop more as i get in there for sure #wait pawns can literally be hybrid classes in bbi there's literally MA pawns there. he can be MK #i want him to be like the magical senshi of the group. they can't put up with barroch's shitty charred beast cooked in his blacksmith forge #with 1 piece of greenwarish forever. his awful british cooking. we need bitterblack meshi #fauna just eats like moonlight or something so she's been okay and tenanye gets treated like a queen bc daimon's love for her bends the isle #in her favor but it's funny to think of them suffering just thee worst cooking ever at the hands of minimalist survivalist barroch

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leopardmask-ao3 · 2 years

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I remember seeing a really funny post about how cringe the Great British Bake-Off Mexican week was and I'm thinking about it again after they tried to make the most bougie smores I have ever seen. They have ganache in them, for pity's sake! And oh my god the marshmallows are so tall?? They gotta be a little messy and have a decent amount of crunch from the cracker and the marshmallow should be gooey and going all over the place what are these cylinders.

#great british bake off #lighthearted tbh #but also those were the worst smores #the guy who got last place had what I would call the best smores #because the marshmallow went all over the place when he toasted it #they were an absolute mess on the plate

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minihotdog · 5 months

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Caught Red Handed // Part 1

Summary: Soap Catches His Roommate Reading an Erotic Novel

Part 2

Pairing: John "Soap" Mactavish x Fem!Reader

a/n: Most likely gonna be a follow up fic for this, already brainstorming

c/w: oral (F receiving), a little penetration

word count: 2k

***

You sat on the end of the couch curled up in a blanket, completely enthralled by the book in your hands. Your nose is buried inside the pages and you only move to readjust your glasses every once in a while.

Soap saunters into the kitchen to get some water, noticing you in a trance-like state as he reaches for a glass. He calls your name to no avail. Eventually, he gives up and plops down on the other end of the couch and your eyes rip away from the book to him. You cautiously put the book down on your lap, hoping he hadn’t caught some of the words.

“What are ye readin’ tha’ has ye blushin’ like tha’?”

“Huh?” You pretend to not know what he’s talking about and try, nonchalantly, to cover the book with your blanket. “Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just a little warm.”

He eyes you, not believing a word of what you’re saying and you try to play it off as if your soul didn’t jump out of your skin from him interrupting you while reading the most filthy paragraphs of your life.

Soap raises an eyebrow at you, a smirk appears on his face. Heat continues to rise to your face as his muscles bulge while he scratches the back of his neck. He always lounged around in a pair of gray sweats, chest exposed. You always assumed you were used to it until you were close enough to take all of him in. The Scottish flag on his left pec and a quote on his ribs you had yet to get close enough to read, and worst of all, the sheer size of him.

“Yer full o’ shite,” He accuses you playfully. “Let me see then?” The two of you stare at each other for a moment before you toss the blanket at him as a distraction and take off running. He fights off the blanket and is hot on your heels as you try to hide the book in your room.

He comes up behind you and snatches it from your hands.

“Johnny! No!” He holds the book above his head and you’re jumping up, trying to take it from him.

“Alright, alright. I’ll give it back.” You put your hand out and he turns, running into his room. You follow him only for the door to shut in your face with a click.

“Give me my book back!” You try to open the door, banging on it when it won’t budge.

“Be quiet, I’m readin’.” He shouts through the door.

You put your forehead on the door, cursing yourself for reading such a thing when you had someone like him around.

“Why’s there a big lad wearin’ a kilt on the front?”

Your eyes close and your hands cover your face. You stood there about to die of embarrassment thinking about how this couldn’t get any worse, until…

“His body was as hard as steel, forged frae generations of resistance against the soothern British armies - fuckin’ Brits -.” He murmurs the last bit before continuing. “Her hands ran ower his muscles as he slid his throbbin’ member intae her soaked…WOAH!”

“Johnny, stop!” You plea for him to stop reading. Your ears hurt at the sound of it being read out loud.

The room falls silent for a while and you call out his name once again. The quiet fuels your embarrassment. It feels like a thousand years go by before he opens the door and stands in the frame, holding the book at his waistline. He points at you with a wicked smile,

“Oh, yer a dirty, lass.” You snatch the book from him and stop towards your room.

“John Mactavish, you are so nosey!” He laughs as you shut and lock your door so you can read in peace.

***

You tip-toe out of your room, not quite ready to confront your roommate after the events earlier in the day. You poked your head into the kitchen, seeing his mohawk peaking over the other side of the half wall separating the two rooms. You quietly enter the kitchen, turning your back to him to try and open the refrigerator, hoping that the TV is loud enough to cover the sound of the door opening.

“Y/n, ye done being mad?” He taunts, resting with his forearms on the half wall, looking right at you. You stick your tongue out at him and he chuckles. He never took you seriously when you were mad at him. To piss you off, he’d often tell you that you reminded him of one of those little dogs, angry as hell and completely unaware of how small they were.

He motions to the couch, “Come watch a movie wit me.” You shake your head and he whines, “O’ c’mon, y/n.”

“Fiiiine.”

You walk over and sit on the other end of the small couch, your nerves building up in your stomach. Soap is wrapped up in your blanket. You glance over at him as you rub the fabric on your pj shorts. He scratches his scruff and his eyes slowly meet yours. He wiggles his eyebrows at you, “Wha’s wrong, lass?”

Your eyes drop, heat rising to your cheeks from being caught staring.

“Nothing.”

“Lassie, there’s nothin’ wrong wit readin’ those types o’ books.” A mischievous smirk plays on his lips, “There’s nothin’ wrong wit wantin’ a big Scotsman tae throw ye around and fuck ye silly either.”

You hide yourself with your hands, not wanting him to see the horrified look on your face. He scoots over to you, wrapping you in a bear hug.

“Oh, innocent little y/n has a dark side, I cannae believe it!”

“Nooo!” You squeal, “Stop bringing it up!”

You turn to push him away but he locks an arm on both sides of the armrest behind you, trapping you. His blue eyes bore into your soul making you squirm.

“So, tell me, Ye read tha’ because ye like it? Or did ye wish it was another Scotsman ye know?” He tilts his head, looking up as if he’s trying to remember something. “His grasp on my throat tightened as his thrusts became harder, pushin’ me over the edge… Is that what she said?” You cover his mouth with your hands and he grabs your wrists in one hand, pulling them off.

“I’ll make yer little dreams come true, just tell me ye want me.”

Your breath catches as you try to speak, “Johnny…” You’re left not knowing what to say to him. He catches you off guard, pulling you onto your back by your hips. His body forces your legs open and he rests his weight on his forearms. His lips graze your ear, “I see ye lookin’ me up and down all the time, lass.” His hand travels down your body to cup your pussy through your shorts. A wave of heat shoots through your body. “I hear ye moanin’ my name at night when ye play with yerself, now I catch ye readin’ a book about some lad wrecking a wee thing.” He pushes the hem against your clit and you grip his shoulders.

“Jus’ admit it and I’ll be more than happy to give it to ye.” His hand grabs your jaw, giving it a taunting little shake. He holds himself above you, eyes glued to your lips, whispering, “C’mon, c’mon,” encouraging you to answer.

You find the courage to speak, the fire coursing through your body is unbearable.

“Johnny, please.”

“Please, what?”

“Please, fuck me.”

“Steamin’ bloody Jesus.” He mutters before coming down to kiss you, pressing his bulge against you through his sweats. His lips move with yours, his kiss leaves you feeling hypnotized. By the time he begins pulling your shorts down, you’re seeing stars. He throws the shorts off to the side and his fingers run over the wet patch on your panties. He lets out a shaky breath, and he takes in the sight of you. Legs spread for him with your nipples poking through your oversized t-shirt. Your big doe eyes watch his every move as he positions himself lower on the couch, throwing your legs over his back.

He kisses down your thighs, nipping at the soft flesh, until he reaches where you want him most. He leaves one last kiss on your clit through the fabric before pulling it down your legs. He groans, watching you drip for him. He parts your lips with his thumbs and licks a stripe up to your clit. “Oh, lass.” He moans, tasting you on his tongue. He leaves slow licks on your clit, savoring the small sounds he’s coaxing out of you. He looks up at you from between your legs, as you squirm,

“Quit fuckin’ tryin’ to get away fra’ me.” He wraps his arms around your thighs forcing them to squeeze his head and continues lapping at your clit. He was usually impatient when he was in this position, wanting to draw out the most erotic sounds from whoever he was blessed with his tongue, to drink from them like a man stuck in the desert. Of course, he would do the same to you, but at this moment he wanted to revel in what he had fantasized about doing for so long. His beloved roommate whom he dreamed of, and spent so many nights imagining beneath him had his head in between her legs.

He closes his lips around your clit flicking it repeatedly. The attack on your sensitive nub has you arching your back. His name falls from your lips, your eyes clamp shut, one hand tangling in his overgrown mohawk and the other digging its nails into his arm.

He goes back and forth from flicking your clit quickly and leaving long licks, lapping up your wetness.

“Johnny,” You breathe out. His name being drawn out from you causes his cock to ache every single time. One of his hands rips your shirt up, exposing your breasts. He kneads the soft flesh, giving the mound a gentle slap. He moans when your hips move against his mouth.

“Oh, what a good girl.” He gives his head a shake, letting his tongue move with it. The motion has you mewling as your orgasm begins to build up.

“Johnny, p-please I’m gonna-” Your words trail off as he eats you out like you’re his last meal. His scruff scratches against your thighs leaving the skin irritated as he bobs his head, licking away. His pace doesn’t slow when you gasp and begin squeezing around nothing. Your hand keeps him in place while you ride out your high. His name fills the room in a chant. Your body jerks violently as the waves continue hitting you even longer due to him not wanting to stop.

He cleans you up, groaning at the mess you made. His mouth leaves a gentle kiss on your overly sensitive clit before he rises from his position. He wipes his chin off, his eyes cloudy just like yours.

“Fuck, lass. Yer addictin’.” His rough calloused hands run over your curves. He pulls your shirt completely off and leans down to give you a deep kiss. He trails down leaving wet kisses all over your neck. He goes further, leaving hickeys on your breasts, catching one of your perky nubs in his mouth. He then licked from between your breasts and up your neck, giving you one more kiss before pulling away to free himself from his sweats. He kicks them off and kneels in front of you completely bare. The sight of him and his body has you dripping once again. His piercing blue eyes were darker than normal, his hair a mess from you holding onto it for dear life, his muscles contracting with every movement. Your eyes run over him, admiring every part of him until you get further down.

“Oh dear god, Johnny.” You gasp. He lets go of his member and it slaps down on your stomach. He was long and thick, the head was bright red with a bead of precum threatening to fall from it. “No wonder you’re such a cocky ass.”

He laughs at your playful insult.

“We’ll see how much talkin’ yer gonna be doing in a second.”

He rubs the tip on your sensitive clit causing you to jump. He teases you by running the length of his cock in between your pussy lips, collecting the wetness. Both your eyes are glued to the pornographic scene.

“I better never catch you readin’ one of those books again, lovie.”

“Why’s t-that?”

“Because I’m a better fuck than tha’ clown you were readin’ about.”

You roll your eyes at his cockiness. In all truth, he was a little upset that you were drooling over some scot in a book when you had him right here. His competitiveness with the fictional character was enough to fuel him.

He positions his tip at your entrance, poking into you slightly.

“Alright, lass. Deep breath.”

You listen, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

“Ready?” He looks down at you with a gentle smile. You nod your head and he focuses back on your dripping core. “Finally got ye where I want ye.” He mutters, shifting his weight. The fat head of his cock slides into you, your eyes go wide and your mouth falls open.

#soap cod #soap mw2 #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap john mactavish #soap x reader #soap smut #john soap mactavish smut #john mactavish x reader #john mactavish smut #call of duty fanfic #cod fanfic #cod smut #myfic

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electric-demons-in-love · 3 months

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Random Vox, Valentino and Velvette Headcanons:

-Velvette loves painting Valentino’s nails. Due to his multiple arms she has plenty of blank canvases to experiment with colours and fancy designs. Val will use this time to rant to Velvette about everything irritating him that week.

-Every month or so the three have a treat day where they go to the mall together.

-Satan help any poor retail workers who have to deal with them.

-Vox doesn’t tend to buy much so he’s the designated bag carrier.

-They totally have a line of fashion dolls based on them (like Barbie or Monster High). They’re very hot collectors items.

-Velvette designed outfits for one of Verosika’s tours.

-Vox has totally caused blackouts during his and Val’s bang sessions. Velvette is not impressed.

-“Fucking hell you twats I was in the middle of a movie!”

-The day afterward Vox always has to go on air and publicly apologise. He makes up some bullshit excuse as to why it happens but his flustered expression gives it away. No one is brave enough to call him out.

-Velvette teaches the boys British slang and insults while Val teaches them Spanish curse words.

-Vox occasionally DJs at some of Valentino’s clubs.

-When he’s feeling down or nostalgic Val will sit in his room and listen to 70s music.

-None of them eat well. Vox consumes nothing but takeout and coffee, Velvette lives off sweet treats and Val’s diet mainly consists of cigarettes and alcohol.

-Val loves to leave lipstick marks all over Vox’s screen right before the tv demon goes on air.

-Vox has the worst fashion sense out of the trio. Velvette and Val constantly have to pick out his clothes because they wouldn’t be caught dead with him in the outfits he chooses.

-Going off the fact that Val is canonically a good artist, sometimes he sketches out ideas for Velvette’s fashion collections.

-They have drunk karaoke nights at the studio and it is absolute chaos.

Part 2 Part 3

#hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #vox #valentino #velvette #headcanons #staticmoth

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chromatic-corrosion · 6 months

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Character/Show information found on Gooseworx's tumblr (part 1)

I went into Gooseworx's tumblr and made a list of all the info found on there so far.

Note: This will update as more and more posts are made.

Caine named himself before deciding that it's an acronym that stands for Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity (he thinks it makes him sound professional)

Caine does not have an age. He is an AI.

Apparently, Caine is likely the best singer out of everyone in the circus.

Caine would own a circus peanut shotgun.

Caine can't grasp the concept of irony.

Caine is not affected by "this statement is false"

If Caine could remove his clothes, he'd have nothing underneath.

Caine would only bite his eyes or tongue if he thought it's funny. Otherwise, they clip through his teeth

Caine is short.

Caine does not understand verbal pranks (example: 'Joe Mama', 'Updog' etc). Even after having them explained, he'd still take them literally.

Bubble speaks in reverse once in episode 3.

Bubble is a much simpler AI created by Caine

Apparently, Bubble is the biggest slut.

Bubble is Caine's little hype man

Bubble likes being popped.

Bubble is a boy

Out of everyone, Bubble is the most likely to wear drag.

The moon is an AI "like Bubble".

The sun can talk too.

Pomni's hat is a part of her body

Pomni does not like being touched

Pomni's first design looked liked a frog

Pomni's reaction to herself in the mirror isn't a positive reaction

Apparently, Pomni's hair is black.

Pomni is good at accounting.

Ragatha gives the best hugs

Ragatha has been in the circus the second longest.

Ragatha is older than Pomni.

Ragatha likes horses.

Ragatha can play the Cello.

Ragatha can see through her button eye.

There's a particular character who hasn't been revealed yet who's practically a Gooseworx self-insert. (He's the mean one...Jax?)

Nobody likes Jax

Jax doesn't have a tail.

Jax's colour is periwinkle.

Jax deserves to be trapped in the circus the most

There's nothing heroic about Jax.

Jax is morally the worst character in the show.

Jax is the youngest member in the circus.

Jax didn't enter the circus at the age of 14.

Jax mistreats Gangle the most because shew the easiest to mistreat.

Jax is afraid of corn because it reminds him of something called 'the farm'.

Jax is a troubled individual.

If you gave Jax an unholy amount of praise, he'd be confused and frightened.

Jax mainly bullies the girls because he has issues he hasn't worked out with himself yet.

Jax most likely went through an emo phase

Gangle like to draw, specifically anime.

Gangle only has comedy and tragedy masks.

Gangle's favourite animal is Azumanga Daioh.

Gangle has a body pillow with a character on it.

Gangle watched One Piece, and her favourite character was Chopper.

Kinger is not British.

Kinger is the tallest and oldest

There is an episode that heavily features Kinger.

Kinger and Zooble eat like a chao

Kinger saw the gastral giveaway in a vision after eating two spoons of gravel.

Kinger knows how to play chess.

Zooble almost gets no screen time in the first two episodes

Zooble's appearance is based on ZoLo blocks

Zooble has a 'zooble box' of parts in their room.

Zooble does not like hugs

Zooble has been in the circus the second shortest.

Zooble is very grouchy and irritable.

Zooble is half a year older than Jax.

Zooble is alright with any pronouns

Zooble would smoke weed if possible.

Zooble is the worst at giving hugs

Zooble is constantly trying out different parts.

Zooble is the most likely to punt Jax into the abyss at any given moment

Zooble can play the drums.

Zooble most likely went through an emo phase.

Zooble was a tattoo artist at one point.

Zooble was a stoner

Zooble most likely dyed their hair in the real world.

How each member of the cast would react if you called them 'adorable'.

Nobody in the circus is truly sane

Heres the casts ages.

Pomni - 25

Jax - 22

Ragatha - 30

Zooble - 22

Gangle - 26

Kinger - 48

The performers can feel pain

Every character has a reason for the way they act.

The cast doesn't have bones, but they do have a visible skeleton when they're being electrocuted.

The black queen chess pieces name is Queenie

Queenie being a black chess piece and Kinger being a white chess piece has no relevancy to their relationship. It's only a design choice.

Queenie and Kinger aren't siblings.

The abstracted and lost eyes only look similar due to limited creativity in creature design.

Abstraction can't be undone.

The abstracted all look the same

A gloink king exists. It looks exactly like a normal gloink and dies immediately after mating.

There's "technically" a worm in episode 2.

There are "many" characters in the show that we don't know of.

The typical episode length will be 21-25 minutes.

There won't be any romance on the show. Stop asking.

Some episodes are a '1' on the horror scale, some are a '6'.

Apparently, a character we haven't met yet is getting the next episode for them.

As of november 6th, Gooseworx says, "The plan is eight episodes total, one season"

Note that some of this info may have changed since posting (or may have been revealed in the pilot), some may change during the course of the show, and some may be joke answers. Please let me know if there's anything I missed!

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