#great british bake off
i;m ADDING *kazoo noises* simply for the tiramisu jelly tart situation YOU KNOW
ADFLKDSJFKLD listen it works!! I don’t know how but it does!!
Anyone have links for the British Bake Off Stand Up to Cancer specials from 2021? I’ve been looking around, no luck so far
Hi Pia!! All these writing questions are making me wonder, do you have any other fandoms you'd write fic for right now?
I came across your stuff thanks to Pasiflora and I'm currently making my way through Eversion after having read Stuck on the Puzzle and Beast. Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us, it's making this horrible year a lot better for me and many others 🧡
It’s funny, I’m feeling really quiet on the fanfiction front.
I think it’s partly because Falling Falling Stars *feels* like fanfiction to me, so it’s sort of feeding that need. I’m sure as soon as FFS is finished, I will launch back into fanfiction, but right now FFS is like...the thing that feels like it lmao.
I’m also not really deeply in any fandoms right now. I’m sort of like, floating around watching anime and shows I like, but nothing’s really grabbing me. I wanted to write for like Sk8 and Jujutsu Kaisen for five seconds, but that floated away as soon as the series ended. I’d like to finish my one or two shot for Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu, but I don’t have the spare time right now. I’ve contemplated that though.
I usually need like a ‘hooky fic’ (i.e. to play hooky on) while I’m writing something more serious and that takes a lot of labour, but I’m currently in a giant hiatus from my Serious Story (The Ice Plague) and Falling Falling Stars is my hooky fic (you can tell because I can write chapters very quickly for it - well, okay, quickly by my standards anyway).
Yeah I‘m feeling kind of nonplussed about fandoms right now. I was really kind of...burnt out by the MXTX Untamed crowd, or at least like two or three BNFs in that crowd, and it made me want to step back from fandom a lot. And that was hard, because I had like 4 pretty serious fic ideas that I wanted to write, and just felt like...all of them died because of the fandom experiences I had.
I actually read a great Adoribull fic the other day that got me thinking about Bull and Cullen again, so I do think when DA4 comes out, I might get sucked back into that fandom.
But yeah I tentatively think I won’t feel like writing fic until after FFS, and then I will probably look for something to write for. But I don’t feel like I had to stall on anything I really needed to write re: fanfiction, since the perfect spot for me is writing fanfiction-style/feel original stories, and FFS is giving me those vibes lmao.
I’ll definitely write fanfic again though, knowing me, probably for some niche rarepair or something, lmao.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the writing, anon <3333 And yeah this year has been rough too, hasn’t it? It’s - for so many people - not getting any easier. I hope you’re taking care.
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just finished “a taste of honey” and i am devastated for no reason. where will i find my will to live nOw? :(
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The Great Konoha Bake Off
Shani: The meticulous expert, bakes a delicious homey dessert like what your mom used to make for you. Doesn't fuss with showing off how it looks, but it tastes the best, she knows every step and trick. Her specialty is a Anmitsu "Water Garden" sculpted to look like a coral reef with homemade wagashi "islands".
Hahari: The over-the-top artist. She wants it to be cute so she has all the edible glitter and cute things to put on her stuff. It tastes pretty nice, but it's more a blast in the face with all the color. Her special is Party Dress Cake, where she makes a cookie shaped like herself, sticks it on top of a cake shaped like a dress and decks it out.
Genji: The show off food engineer. He does the weird stuff like makes things balance obscenely high or has a cake perched on top of a skinny biscuit tower, but sometimes uses flavors too weird to comprehend. His special is Fireworks Meringue, where he uses sparklers with his cinnamon apple meringue cookies, all in a display that looks like an exploding firework.
Musashi:The disaster, rage-chef, perfectionist. He doesn't know how to cook and has never tried, but nevertheless is determined to crush the competition. His specialty is Baked Revenge Alaska, where he makes a little village with custard filled cakes topped with egg whites and then lights it ablaze. (his brother might have helped him by whipping his meringue because he was yelling at the oven).
Kara: The "i tried, and i refuse to try again" cook. He's too forgetful, he doesn't have a lick of cooking sense, and he's not very competitive. He mostly wanders around, stealing people's food. His "specialty" are Puppy Crumpets. They're very dry biscuits filled with whipped cream and strawberry jam, with blueberries for eyes and ears sculpted from spare biscuits. It's not very tasty and looks like it came up from hell.
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thinking about the super six doing a special episode of the great british bake off....
Henry is the only one taking it seriously
Like they're all fairly serious about it but Henry is in like game mode
Pez just cracks jokes with Noel the whole time and barely finishes any of his bakes
But he does finish them and they're like. Really good
Nora's bakes are just. so weird. like idk she describes it to the judges and p*ul h*llywood just looks at the camera like
June and Alex are ABSOLUTELY at each other's throats
Alex and Henry make a pact or something at the beginning but then Henry gets first in the technical and Alex gets last and Alex's single interview part is really dramatic and he's like "I can't believe i was betrayed by my own boyfriend" and Henry's off camera just like "babe-"
Henry definitely knows how to bake and is good at it i don't care what you say (he can't cook for shit though)
Bea is straight vibing. She's fairly average in her skills, but she's one of the contestants that other contestants will watch during the technical and be like "oh damn thats smart I should be doing that"
Everyone taunts Alex. Everyone. Even fucking Prue, probably
Henry definitely held his meringue over Alex's head to Alex's utter horror but Henry's own delight
"Baby, don't you fucking dare that's going to spill on me-" "It's fine, Alex, I know what I'm doing" "babe I swEAR TO GOD-" cut to Henry chasing Alex around the tent with a bowl of meringue
Idk what the show-stopper would be but at least one of them would make a reference to cakegate and it's a 50/50 chance it's Alex who does so
Pez definitely gives Henry a run for his money but I think Henry might win?
Kind of want Henry to win bc then I feel like Alex would jokingly be like "fuck u wales" but then the camera crew would see them full on making out in the field afterward
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Baker, author and 2018 finalist of The Great British Bake Off Kim Joy has filled in our #andasian template, where’s yours?
Love GBBO as much as we do? We’ve got an exclusive interview with Kim-Joy coming up that you don’t want to miss!
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ok ok cap-iversay prompt... can i combine? >:3c uhh so i already forgot the numbers but great british bake off EXCEPT one of them is a dragon! for sangcheng. GO
Your enthusiastic support is always so encouraging, thank you for all of your comments this year and, as always, for reading! <3
(also posted to ao3, if you prefer to read there.)
[g; prompt fill; SangCheng; modern setting; Great British Bake Off; someone's a dragon]
- Showstopper -
Huaisang was really trying not to panic, but the showstopper required him to actually make the biscuit structure before he could decorate it, and he was so much better at cakes but those weren't known to be load-bearing and -
The margin of error between the biscuits being underdone, perfect or burnt was extremely low and he was so intensely attuned to their moisture levels that it almost felt like he himself was drying out. He stared into the oven, crouched in front of it and clutching a pair of oven mitts that he unconsciously fanned himself with. It was just... was it warm, in the tent? He was quite warm, burning up actually, and, and -
A spritz of water on the side of his face made him physically jump; he blinked up at the man from the workbench behind his. Jiang Cheng from Yunmeng, who baked with his nephews and had been bullied by his sister into joining the competition. With a tiny, crooked smile, Jiang Cheng sprayed him again, this time full in the face. Huaisang would have been mad if it didn't feel so good.
"You're gonna dry out, if you're not careful," Jiang Cheng said. "I wanna win this coz my madeleines kick your madeleines' asses, not because you didn't take care of yourself."
He tossed the spray bottle at Huaisang, then returned to his own station, where he was already tempering chocolate - and he was using a water bath, because he was a perfectionist.
Huaisang glanced once more at his biscuits through the oven door, acknowledged that they weren't going to bake any faster by being watched, and got up.
"That's not hot enough," he said.
Jiang Cheng raised an eyebrow at him, as if he suspected Huaisang of lying when all he was trying to do was return the favour.
"This is how I always do it at home," Jiang Cheng told him.
"Okay," Huaisang shrugged. "But the water's not hot enough, and you know I know that."
As he went back to his work, Huaisang saw from the corner of his eye the way Jiang Cheng surreptitiously adjusted his stovetop. At least he was smart enough to accept good advice when he was given it.
When it went wrong, as things inevitably did for Huaisang, it perhaps technically was his fault. The problem with being lucky was that things went great for everyone around him, but not for him. It was like he involuntarily donated his luck to everybody else. And so when he was bustling on his third trip to the fridge to try and keep the icing on his working biscuit-and-rice-paper fans from melting in the muggy tent, of course he didn't look where he was going at exactly the wrong moment and he bumped into Jiang Cheng as he lifted the pot of boiling water off the stove.
Huaisang froze for just a moment, as the water arced through the air. Luckily for everyone else nobody was close enough to be scalded, but Huaisang's showstopper was about to be ruined.
He'd promised himself he'd keep the dragon stuff to a minimum, because even though it was far from a secret and they'd known about it when he joined the competition it had still felt a bit like cheating. That went out the window now, though, and he sacrificed the fan he was holding to free up his hands so he could take control of the water where it hung in the air. The other contestants gasped as he reversed its arc, pulling the water back and pouring it back into the pot Jiang Cheng was still holding.
For a moment everyone was silent, and then the hosts piped up.
"Is that cheating?" Mel asked.
"I think that's cheating," Sue agreed. "I'm looking over at the judges and - oh, Mary's shaking her head no, it looks like magical dragon powers are allowed."
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MARTHA WAS JUST SENT HOME I’M EMO
Cake by DBGC
Delicious Victoria sponge filled with custard cream and dressed with strawberries, kiwifruit, pomegranates and whipped cream.
Delicioso bizcocho de limón relleno de crema pastelera, decorado con fresas, kiwi, granadas y crema batida.
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Missile launcher!!!! 😭😭😭 oh no shes so cute!! And the bat wings 🥺🥺🥺!! Awwh the way she just leans into your hand thats so adorable 🥺🥺💞
Also good timing, i would love to be pet like that, feeling like being very good today hehe -🌻
she’s the Best Girl. i love her. i’m going to kiss her on the head now.
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Some Pretty Batshit Things That Have Been Said on The Great British Baking Show
“I think your sister tastes lovely.”
“Who wants to eat some carpet?”
“Leave your balls alone!”
“The six sides represent the six wives of Henry the Eighth...”
“If you’re gonna serve a cake, serve it phallic.”
“I had to rush the unicorn eyelashes.”
“This is the gayest challenge of all time.”
“More cats should be married.”
“That’s the one thing I know about children- don’t drop them.”
*drinks an entire cup of egg whites* “Reminds me of Rocky.”
“Please don’t cry in the chocolate.”
“Wow, that’s a terrible way to kill a nun.”
“Your wife’s gonna think that you’re having an affair with a mango.”
“One word to describe yourself.” “Depressing.”
“I didn’t realize that dairy is not only a cow. There’s like goat, sheep, buffalo…horse?”
“You’d eat it if you were given it.” “As a prisoner, maybe.”
“Wasn’t one of the children in ‘The Sound of Music’ called streusel?”
“Welcome to the least laddy lads’ club. We’re discussing the setting temperature of gelatin.” “A very masculine conversation, actually.”
“At the moment I feel sort of like Jesus did on Maundy Thursday.”
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eight episodes finally googled what ‘proving’ was in baking
Season 3 Episode 9: Fraisier Cake
I thought working from (and spending literally all my time at) home would give me more time to bake, but then I got a puppy and my life got turned upside down. She's very cute, but man does she take up a lot of time that I could otherwise be spending baking. Or eating. So maybe it's for the best that I got a puppy.
Anyway, I finally managed to get my act together long enough to make my next bake: a Fraisier cake. We're getting toward the end of the season, so the technical bakes are getting harder and more esoteric. I have certainly never heard of a Fraisier cake, let alone eaten one, but at first glance it didn't look... that hard? It's basically a sponge cake with some creme patissiere, decorated with fresh strawberries and marzipan. How hard could that be? (Famous last words...)
The first step was to make the actual cake portion of the Fraisier cake. The recipe calls for "self-raising flour", and after a few recent improvisations with less than ideal results, I decided to just shell out for the actual ingredient. However, this new strategy hit a speed bump when the recipe called for an "electric hand whisk", which, as mentioned previously, I do not own. No matter; surely I could kick it old-school and rely on my own brute strength to mix the cake ingredients by hand as they heated on the stove top.
This will definitely not create any problems for me down the line...
Editor’s Note: If you’re thinking to yourself, some of these pictures seem smaller than usual, you would be correct. If you’re also thinking to yourself, Jenna is probably too lazy to figure out how to resize them and make them consistent, you are also correct.
According to the recipe, I would be done when the mixture had doubled in volume and was pale in color.
Looks pale to me?
Next, it was time to add the all-important self raising flour.
Gently folded in as to keep in the air that I painstakingly whipped up by hand.
And voila; cake batter was ready to go into the oven.
Looks good so far!
I thought I was off to a good start, but as soon as my cake came out of the oven, I realized I was in trouble. The recipe specifies that the cake should be about 2 inches in height, as you need to slice it in half to make two layers. Mine was... not.
It's like... half an inch, maybe?
Uh oh. Maybe that hand whisking didn't do the trick after all. Still, the cake looked reasonably tasty, so I decided to just move on and start my creme patissiere. First, I had to boil my milk and vanilla pod.
This smelled really nice.
Then it was time for some more whisking: this time of eggs, cornflour, sugar, and kirsch, which is a cherry-flavored brandy.
Fun fact: kirsch is pretty disgusting on its own. Wilson volunteered to drink what I didn't use in this recipe, which was fine by me as it tasted like nail polish remover. Do not recommend.
Finally, I had to whisk the egg mixture and the hot milk together.
My whisking arm is getting a workout today.
Then, I needed to put the mixture back on the stove and watch it very carefully, as in about four minutes the mixture would thicken very quickly. Well, four minutes came and went, and nothing happened. I diligently kept my eye on it, but it definitely did not appear to be approaching a texture that was "thick enough to pipe", per the recipe.
Nothing happening yet...
So finally, I committed a cardinal GBBO sin. I took my eye off the stove for JUST A MINUTE to wash the dishes. And when I came back, my creme patissiere had turned into this:
I have never made a creme patissiere before. But I have eaten it, and I know it's not supposed to be THIS thick. It's supposed to be velvety and creamy and delicious, while this was more of an... eggy gloop? But hey, it was certainly thick enough to pipe. Maybe the next step of adding butter would help.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t!
So my creme patissiere looked like mashed potatoes. If I were on the show, this is where I would realize I had gone horribly wrong and would toss this creme in the bin before starting over. But, given that I would not actually be serving my food to Paul and Mary, I decided to soldier on. After all, at least my creme was thick enough to pipe. Maybe this was what I was supposed to do after all? So I stuck the creme patissiere in the fridge to cool and crossed my fingers that I would somehow have a delicious, smooth creme when it came out.
Maybe this doesn’t look so bad??
The final step before assembly was to make a lemon syrup, which thankfully was pretty simple after all the missteps I’d already made in this recipe. However, I soon found myself facing another problem: I needed to roll out a layer of marzipan to put on top of my cake, but I had left my rolling pin at Wilson’s house (we made a chicken pie). Luckily, I had a substitute:
When in doubt, break out the wine.
And hey, it actually did the trick.
Who needs a rolling pin?
Finally, it was time to put my cake together. First, I faced the problem of slicing my extremely thin sponge into to layers. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best...
Not actually that terrible.
With some creative construction work, I was able to get two fairly even layers.
No one will ever know.
And now, it was time to stack. In an ideal world, I would have had a strip of acetate plastic to line my springform pan with and had a beautiful, clean surface to work on. But I didn’t even have a rolling pin handy; obviously I don’t have acetate lining around. So plastic wrap would have to do.
If it works, it works.
Then it was time to turn my attention to my strawberries. I picked out the prettiest, most evenly sized ones I could find, and halved them.
At least these turned out pretty.
And then, it was construction time. First, I put in a layer of cake, brushed it with lemon syrup (my pastry brush was also at Wilson’s, so really I spooned on the syrup), and then added a “little crown of strawberries”, as per the recipe.
Next, it was time to see if my creme patissiere had magically transformed into the right texture in the fridge.
Nope, still lumpy. But at least it was pretty solid...?
I added some more chopped strawberries on top.
At least the strawberries will taste good.
Then it was time for the rest of my “creme patissiere”, if you can even call it that at this point.
And then finally, I put on the other half of the cake, spooned over some more syrup, and topped it off with my marzipan. The recipe specified that I should melt some chocolate and make “pretty” decorations, and honestly I kind of wanted to call it a day given all my struggles and just forgo the chocolate. But in the spirit of the competition, I gave it a go anyway:
There is no design to this chocolate, this is the epitome of winging it.
I left the whole godforsaken mess to cool in the fridge overnight. In the meantime, it was time to check in with the bakers to see if they’d fare any better than I did with this Fraisier cake.
Mel starts off by referring to a Fraisier cake as a well-known celebration cake, which is certainly news to me.
Must be more popular in the UK, I guess.
The bakers start off by making a genoise sponge, and surprisingly, James chooses to whisk his by hand as well.
However, after seeing Dani’s batter, I can see that I have clearly not even come close to whipping mine for long enough.
This explains the lack of volume in my cake, I guess.
Dani struggles with the creme patissiere, though - she says that hers has “cellulite”.
It’s lumpy like mine, but I never thought to sieve it.
As always, James seems to know exactly what to do.
Such smooth creme.
All the bakers, however, struggle with setting up the acetate.
This makes me feel better about my plastic wrapped cake.
When it comes time to assemble, I can see that my creme is indeed thicker than the bakers’, even Dani’s.
Much more pipeable.
However, this may not be such a bad thing after all - Dani’s cake starts falling apart as soon as she takes it out of the pan, as the creme isn’t set.
Melty cake is never a positive.
In the end, James takes home the gold in yet another technical, with a perfectly risen sponge and a nicely set creme patissiere.
That does look pretty celebratory.
It was time for the grand unveiling of my own cake. Would my thin cakes and lumpy creme prove to be my downfall?
First, here’s Mary’s perfect Fraisier:
And here’s mine, complete with chocolate decor:
You can definitely see that the creme isn’t the perfect smooth texture, and my bottom cake especially is a little narrow. But maybe it’s not quite so far off? As always, my judges would be the final arbiters.
Matt’s Review: I get the sense that, as time goes on, the bakes are getting harder and harder to transport. So upon Jenna’s arrival I was already impressed that the cake was holding together as well as it did. And that turned out to be important, because the pairing of the layers was the key to this one. I’m always impressed when a food can take a flavor I normally don’t like and recontextualize it in such a way that I become a fan. In this case, that flavor is almond. I really struggle with that flavor normally, and this bake doesn’t disguise it at all. Instead, it pairs it perfectly with the other layers. I think Jenna did an excellent job with all the ratios — this could easily have become a “dislike” for me, but instead it was a joy to eat. All in all, two thumbs up. The cake, and Jenna, made my quarantine a little sweeter.
Wilson’s Review: Well, the consistency is a little off on the creme patissiere. That can be a bit tricky, but the cake is a bit flat, looks like something went wrong with the mixing. Really should be past those kind of errors by now. I like strawberries, and the chocolate added an element of richness that contrasted brilliantly. As for the sponge, while not the prettiest I’ve ever seen, it does taste good - nice and airy. Overall a nice treat for a mid summer snack, once one gets past the first impression.
Final Thoughts: The creme patissiere was definitely a bit eggy, which was less than ideal. But all in all, this cake tasted pretty good and looked pretty fancy. The cake layers still felt airy and yummy even though they were thin, and the fresh fruit made for a nice treat. I will absolutely need to practice my creme patissiere though, and remember to NEVER take my eye off the stove. Rookie mistake.
Finally finished watching the latest series of Bake Off with my family. Thoughts:
--Too many of the technicals were too hard/obscure. There were loads where everyone did poorly or failed the challenge. Just not nice to watch. Especially when everyone struggles and ends up with something underbaked because the time constraints were too tight and exact.
--The rainbow bagels were a TRAVESTY
--Laura only made it to the finals because even though she was consistently poor, each week was always someone else’s worst week. Hermine especially was robbed.
--Matt is simply not very funny most of the time.
--With the technicals often being Everyone Fails and the Showstopper being all that matters, the Signatures often feel very perfunctory and like they have no weight
Watch "Paul Hollywood's most savage moments - The Great British Bake off" on YouTube
@littlx-songbxrd please imagine Alastair going up against this man and tell me it wouldn't be gold 😂
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Watch "Paul Hollywood's most savage moments - The Great British Bake off" on YouTube
@littlx-songbxrd please imagine Alastair going up against this man and tell me it wouldn't be gold 😂
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