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#and they were all either focused on tim or jason. NO women were even INVOLVED
blackbatcass · 22 days
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i know lots of people have said it much better than me but. god damn. the dc fandom hates women so fucking much it’s insane
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danny-chase · 3 years
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The Batfam as Tech Majors
AU where Alfred got tired of watching Bruce slap duct tape on the Batmobile and call it good, so he forced the children into college. He makes each of them complete an internship with Lucius in R and D so they have better knowledge of how the devices that their lives depend on work. Majors/minors/tropes under cut.
Dick:
Mechanical Engineering Major
He was in undeclared engineering for as long as possible
He settled on mechanical because it seemed the most broad
Plus he joined a car club, loved it, and there were a ton of MechE’s there
He ends up taking credit overloads most semesters because he always finds 1-3 random classes that he wants to take
Despite taking everything from advanced computer science classes (he somehow convinces even the most intense professors to let him into their classes) to hyper specific phycology classes, he doesn’t have any minors to show for it
He just gets bored with the subject after a couple classes
This gives him a bunch of random knowledge
When he talks to his younger siblings about classes, somehow he’s always managed to take at least one that they’re in, and offers advice.
He has the best RA stories. He most certainly did not need to be an RA. But the school was hurting for them and he thought it would be fun.
His residents loved him, but that didn’t stop them from playing beer pong in the common spaces at 3am.
He founds a circus arts club after his residents pull up information about his past and get overly excited about it
Specifically, he finds out they know about his past, because one of them decided it was a good idea to try and juggle knives, and because he’d prefer there not to be any additional bloodstains on the carpet he decides to start the club
He nearly graduated late because he forgot he needed to take specific classes for his major
Barbara: 
Computer Science/Math duel Major
She’s a TA for Comp Sci 1, all the students fight to get her help because she’s amazing at spotting bugs and is super patient
Somehow she’s the president of 3 clubs and is on student senate
She’s the curve breaker
She gets homework assignments meant to take a week done the day they’re assigned
She and Dick went to a single party together, stayed for five minutes, decided it was too loud, and went to get ice cream
Along with her club, she’s in professional organizations, and is part of a women in STEM mentoring program
She started a petition to get more wheel chair ramps installed. Half the buildings are protected under some “historical grounds” bs that’s an excuse for not being accommodating
The petition didn’t go anywhere at first, but it was widely shared on social media and made the school look horrible, so they implemented some of her proposals
Jason:
Philosophy/Cognitive Science duel Major
He gets asked “There’s a philosophy major?” every time he has to do one of those stupid what’s your name and major icebreakers
Jason lives in the library
He’s fallen asleep in there at 3am after it gets locked up
He quotes philosophers at his siblings when they’re being annoying, and it effectively shuts them up, because he only quotes the most nonsensical arguments
He gets involved with the college’s community outreach program
He volunteers for a local robotics team
When people find out his majors, they’re genuinely confused, because he understands robotics really well
He lies his ass off about being really interested in it as a child
Dick convinced him to be an RA for a semester, and he almost had a heart attack
Someone choked in front of him on the first day
Despite seeming like a tough RA, he genuinely cared about his residents and had to quit because he was so stressed out that one of them would do something stupid and die
Cass:
Innovation/Design Major
She’s really observant, so she’s great at spotting flaws in infrastructure and coming up with ways to fix them
Spending time with Barbara made her realize the lack of systems designed with wheelchair users in mind
Her experience being illiterate and not knowing English has imprinted on her the need for signage that can be understood by anyone
She focuses on taking project based classes, where she can draw out her designs and build them, rather than figuring out the math behind them
She has patents for the inventions she created at WE
She was exempted from the “Alfred’s mandatory college degree program” but decided to go as a part time student for herself
It took her twice as long to graduate, and a lot of tutoring from her siblings, but she made it!
The family threw her an extra special party when she graduated - everyone else had minor celebratory dinners, but they went all out for Cass
There was not a dry eye at her graduation ceremony
Cass works part time with WE on and off as a designer after her first internship
She comes up with ideas during patrols, draws them and sends them to Lucius
Tim:
Computer Science Major with a minor in game design
He makes it to approximately 20% of his lectures
He nearly didn’t graduate on time because he put off his humanity courses for so long
He missed the actual ceremony, even though the family showed up
He starts all his assignments the day before they’re due
If at all possible he avoids groupwork and offers to do assignments by himself because he gives his teammates heart attacks when he starts his part the project at 3pm the day before it’s due
This leads to extremely frequent all-nighters
He always finds himself rewriting everyone else’s code to make it work more efficiently
This can, of course, cause some people to feel a little upset
Other students specifically seek him out as a teammate so they can half ass their parts
He participates in game jams when he has time, and got super into the hacking club
Against all odds, he joined a fraternity
Dick literally fell off a building when he found out
He makes up stories about partying for the heck of it, when in reality he and the guys just play Smash Bros together until 3am
He hasn’t seen anyone drink more than two beers, and he hasn’t tried alcohol there either
He joined on accident, he had just pulled an all-nighter and stumbled into a recruiting fair, he heard someone shouting about Mario Kart Double Dash, and bada bing bada boom, he agreed to rush because it involved being stuck in a room playing video games all weekend
Steph:
Civil Engineering Major with minors in Sustainability and STSS (Science, Technology, and Social Science) 
She gets constantly shit on for being a civie
Every time she introduces herself someone mumbles “fake mechie” in the background
She and Jason complain about the disrespect together
She was genuinely shocked when Bruce offered to pay for her college tuition
She’d been planning on going and cutting costs any way possible
But Bruce took her aside when she was applying and offered to pay it all
She refused at first, but then money just appeared in her bank account, and what was she supposed to do, give it back?
She also participates in professional groups and is a member of SWE (Society of Women Engineers), and she mentors younger students
She ends up as class president by running a very successful social media meme campaign
She got and email saying she’d won and panicked because she had no idea what she was doing and was just having fun making memes
She ended up staying class president the entire time, and ended up getting really into it, and ended up with a pretty solid approval rating
She joined a sorority and had a blast
They worked with the local animal shelter, and she started bringing Damian along as well
Her sisters think he’s adorable and he secretly enjoys the attention
She gets her revenge on all the civil engineering haters by landing her dream job redesigning the poorer areas of Gotham to include more green spaces, increase affordable housing, and upgrading access to utilities
Duke:
Biochemisty Major with a minor in Neuroscience 
Harper, Tim, Steph, and him are all in the same year
Tim convinces him to join the fraternity with him
He joins a variety of professional groups as well
He mentors other BIPOC, and joins NSBE (National Society of Black Engineers) and runs helps run professional development programs
But he’s also in like million other clubs that he does not put on his resume
He’s runs the college’s meme page club, is part of the Pokémon Go club, is on the competitive Overwatch team, consistently attends the anime club’s Dragon Ball Z watch parties, joins the Dance Dance Revolution club, and the list goes on and on
When Tim is awake, and Harper isn’t busy, they go with him, but both of them have too much inconsistencies in their schedule to join
He ends up meeting like half the campus
He unintentionally has become a god of networking
Unlike his siblings, he goes all the way for a doctorate
He researches Joker venom, determined to figure out a cure for his parents (in my HC, he eventually does)
He wins like every award imaginable for his groundbreaking research into venoms as he comes up with vaccines that save countless lives
He still works on the meme page, even after he graduates
Harper:
She somehow defies all odds and triple majors in Physics, Mechanical Engineering, and Electrical Engineering
She takes credit overload every semester, and gets credit for her internships at WE
She and Steph were roommates freshman year, and Steph swears that Harper never sleeps
She is the most wanted partner for every engineering project
She thrives in college, and lives off of coffee
She’s in the front row in every lecture
She doesn’t leave the lecture halls, she’s gotten locked in more than once after falling asleep
She had a heart attack the first time she saw students using the machine shop
Half the students weren’t wearing safety glasses, she counted three people wearing slides, the machines were rusted over, the soldering irons were all broken, and she nearly watched someone break their wrist using a power drill
She refuses to work there
Her secret to success is prioritizing - she absorbs the material like a sponge so if homework is only worth 5%, it isn’t getting done, and she’ll just cram before the exam
She almost joined Tim and Duke’s frat (it’s co-ed), but she didn’t have the time
They let her in without rushing senior year because Tim ended up as the boss, and he said so
Cullen:
I don’t know a ton about Cullen, but I feel like he would be a comp sci major
He comes in when Harper, Tim, Duke, and Steph are upperclassmen, and he joins all of Duke’s clubs
They have a million inside jokes
To the other siblings, it seems like the two have their own language
He also joins a club that mentors LGTBQ+ students at the local high school, and encourages them to pursue STEM careers if they’re interested
Jason recruits him as a mentor for the robotics team (he’s the lead mentor at this point) after some of the kids in his mentoring program mention him at a meeting and Jason is like O.O
He avoids parties at all costs, and ends up joining the frat as well
It’s all Duke’s fault he’s in a frat
He does however, meet some lovely boys in the frat
Damian: 
Aerospace Engineering/Environmental Engineering dual Major with minors in sustainability and biology
He nearly riots when he’s presented with the college’s idea of a vegetarian/vegan meal
He manages to get out of the meal plan after that, and begins rallying students to push for better options that contain actual protein
He joins a community service club that works with the local animal shelter, and secretly joins the circus arts club (that’s thriving even without Dick there)
He learns how to sew blankets out of old clothes for the animals
He and Barbara are the only siblings to graduate with a 4.0, simply because they were the only one that took the time to actually do all the homework, and remembered to turn things in on time
He refuses to live in the dorms, and instead lives in one of their apartments nearby (once again somehow managing to complain to the college enough to get his housing waived)
He literally walked in once when visiting Duke, and immediately walked out, and resolved never to step near one again
He makes a total of three friends while at the school, both are in the animal shelter club
They exchange vegetarian/vegan recipes, and get together to cook
He decides to move off campus with them his junior year when they needed another roommate, and he won’t admit it to his siblings, but he had a ton of fun
He and his friend group may have joined an animal rights hacktivist group and may have helped orchestrate some major hacks
Poisson Ivy finds out and feeds him targets and information when they’re supposed to be fighting (she just walks back to Arkham if the others aren’t watching, and slips him a list at the end)
Bonus Bruce:
He cries at every graduation
He’s asked to make a speech at every graduation
He never does - it’s about his kids, not him
He single handedly is keeping the school from bankruptcy - not that any of his kids (other than probably Barbara) know
He sobbed for days after Cass graduated
He genuinely didn’t expect Dick or Tim to graduate
After Dick graduated, he wouldn’t let Bruce touch any of the equipment, and the rest of his kids followed suit
He isn’t actually bad at engineering, his education was just super informal, and hey duct tape works 95% of the time in his experience
The real reason Alfred was annoyed was because he refused to take the time to properly fix something if someone was in danger, and then he’d forget that he’d just used duct tape to patch something
But now since no one lets him touch anything, he’s genuinely lost a lot of the knowledge
But in a pinch, he can fix stuff
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