#anyway cant wait for the next ep even if its in a month :...

[solarockk]

just some quick drawings I made while watching the new ep 

#critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #anyway BALD IMOGEN LMAO #Imogen temult #cr laudna #does dusk have a surname??? maybe they dont remember #i just realized i forgot their cape ah shit #its fine #anyway cant wait for the next ep even if its in a month :... #BUT #nect week we'll finally see the calamity #exu calamity is gonna be so cool #critical role fanart #imodna

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked so hard they had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

#ordem paranormal #osnf #really excited for this tho #first series got me hype #manteiga na manteiga

[cornappreciation]

It's been a while. Episode 40 discussion post below! Spoilers, obviously.

hi! wow! its been a while! sorry about that, brainrot said i have to think about nothing but warrior cats for like six months straight so ive been busy with that. but im back, hopefully? not sure if anyone really recognizes my specifically (or if they ever did), but anyways. since i didnt make an analysis post for the past,,, two (?) episodes, some of my cited evidence will just be "trust me bro" as i dont have notes to look back on, only my own memory. now! episode 40!

this episode was very corn-heavy, so that's gonna be the focal point of this post. ok, time for a quick recap. ive already established in my previous episode analysis / theory posts that corn is almost definitely been *replaced* by xolotl, not possessed or altered. its also likely the beast in the cave near metztli is quetzalcoatl (though this could be a manifestation of xolotl as well), and xolotl is trying to rid of him (this is why im working on the assumption is it quetzalcoatl and not xolotl in the reflections, however this could be some amalgamate of the two "getting rid" of xolotl….. who knows!). im going against my previous theories here! i said in a previous post the shadowy figures were likely xolotl, but im leaning towards corn here in the replacement theory, ill detail why later in this post. he also said at some point in episode 40 that he "got rid of his negative traits" (paraphrasing) which could be a reference ot getting rid of his twin. As for the evidence for replacing rather than possession: mind the difference in hairstyle in his human form, difference in facial markings, and his lack of transformation back into nagual form (likely because it would be markedly different. it could be that xolotls nagual form is reminiscent on corn's dream self with the face covered in hands? yall know what im talking about, ill cite the episode later. but this is unrelated).

All of this happened directly after he failed to shoot the mercy bow. Not sure if the mercy bow or the town is relevant here, but i figured its worth bringing up. This scene in episode 35 is the last we see of regular corn. He has been in human form since this point. He seemed to panic while holding the bow, which could be a mark of his personality in general, *or* something to do with being in metztli, bringing us back to the monster in the cave the citizens of metztli keep at bay with blood. This beast is likely xolotl (although as ive outlined above this could be an incorrect assessment) when the gang first enters the town, and has perhaps "switched places" with corn, leaving quetzalcoatl trapped in xolotl's reflection. This ties back to episode 40 itself, with xolotl (im going to be referring to the impostor as xolotl from now on, its easier for me) requesting that the nurses remove the mirror from his room and give him a wooden spoon rather than a metal one (that could give off his reflection). I'm not sure what this means for corn himself, perhaps xolotl just doesn't want to look at and be reminded of him, or this could be a strategy for getting rid of him? if anyone has any ideas feel free to tell me lol. Not super clear here. Maybe it can be explained by the mythos?

back! to! the! mercy! bow! which isnt really relevant to episode 40. most of this post isnt relevant to episode 40! because i think this episode mostly served to build tension and let us get to know xolotl a little better. but why not give myself a refresher and go back into some of my old stuff? just to get the ball rolling again. ive said in previous posts that i thought the reason the quetzalcoatl and xolotl,,, "thing" happened was because of the mercy bow presumably being destroyed or lost during the eruption of the red tezcatlipoca, since it isnt seen on screen after this happens. im going to tentatively retract this! i dont think its right (though it IS still a possibility….. maybe xolotl was able to take over bc corn disappeared WITH the bow??? but im not sure if the fact he was never able to use the bow disproves this……. hm.) we know *corn* is the proper wielder of it, yes, but i honestly think its more to do with the spooky cave than the bow (something i overlooked previously). its possible the bow being destroyed allowed xolotl to take over? honestly kind of stumped on xolotls method here. its also possible that my replacement theory is totally off mark and theres something im missing!

heres a timeline rq, starting with the gang entering metztli. corn and others enter metztli. they make their way to the temple with the mercy bow. corn attempted to use it, but is scared off by something or otherwise flys away for an unknown reason. this is the last we see on him. he appears only in human form from here on, with his altered facial markings and hairstyle a mark of him being changed. my theory explains this as xolotl pretending to be quetzalcoatl, from some point after corn left the temple and the red eruption. xolotl is likely the creature in the spooky cave the citizens of metztli keep at bay with blood. somehow, xolotl trapped corn in his place (his reflection), while he roams free, pretending to be corn. he avoids reflections of himself (as a shadowy figure is seen on them. This figure is likely corn. Others can see this reflection, as we see a guy at Blackwell drop his spoon after noticing it), and is "maliciously compliant" (uncooperative) with authority. It's likely he purposefully "got rid" of corn, as he says in episode 40 that he got rid of his "negative qualities". spooky! but this episode did not bring a lot of answers. great way to build up tension though! loved the constantly clock ticking as a buildup. cant wait for the next ep :)

apologies if anything ive stated has already been speculated on or confirmed otherwise ! like i said, i havent been active in a while (i even stopped using my main blog, so i dont use tumblr too often), so for all i know i could be the only person left in the no evil fandom on tumblr. feel free to add onto this or correct me or anything ive gotten wrong! ive missed interacting with yall on these theory posts :) might add on more later if i have any revelations.

#No evil #No evil Betsy Lee #Betsy Lee no evil #Corn no evil #Quetzalcoatl no evil #No evil corn #I forgot what tags I used to use AAA #Xolotl no evil #No evil quetzalcoatl

[clementineesotsm]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 11, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel

This chaos making Gon not able to comeback to see JTE in Korea for quite long time. As what JTE said on last eps ending, it took a while for him to come this time. I think it will be around a month already. This flashback is one of most beautiful thing this series has, i love every single word in this scene 💯 also The table has turn in here. In eps 2, it was Gon who said this to JTE. Here we see JTE say it “thats why im hoping today is a long day”

And what a shock! JTE saw PM doppelgänger on the street which actually is the real PM. Wah i cant imagine her doing this. What she wants anyway?

And also we saw Luna already in Korea. Messy messy. And im scared on what she can do to JTE. She is able to go with killing 😭 i seriously dont get it why sbs dont give KGE appreciation. She is damn good here!

This episode was very non linear. Chaos. From PM to Luna now JTE suddenly fainted. My mind rolling to think what comes next. Also we got to see JY meeting PM at the Alley ! Too much happening!

Gon is counting on the time stop (love to see him actually using the board and counting like a real mathematician) , he count that eventually time will stop a day and there will be a moment that time will freeze permanently 😭😭 creepy. At this point i really assume to myself that the biggest enemy for Gon here is not LR anymore, but Time. But also later on he will realize that Time will also the one that could help him with a sacrifice. Damn you KES. Whyyyyyy

Herecomes my favorite number 1 scene from this series. Gon found that bookstore and knew that the traitor was the owner all along! Damn the king was angry!!

Then Battle Royale music came in. I mean. This series was definitely made for me. Every reference that they use was all my fav. How can i move on?! From the music, the massacre and Gon’s calm but angry face were great! I am more and more shocked on this kind of dark side that Gon has. Like, isnt he suppose to be fluffy? 😅 anyway. This scene was everything i need from an angry king who will take down all single traitor that trying to validate their bad action with “keeping the balance” . Die you all die! Love how Gon say “Kill Them” before the shots begin !

Gon is angrier to the fact that LR already switched the real traitor to his minion from Korea. Damn i love Gon expression here. Very angry. Here he is feeling scared that LR might have plan to change JTE that is why he is now rushing to look for her or her doppelgänger, each of them found will be a big relief for him.

But little that he knows, JTE abducted already. She is in this warehouse and very weak. With all the energy she still have she is the detective so she tries to see some runaway opportunities, this is what i love about her. She can be warrior when she has too. And she is try to save her ownlife doesnt need to wait for anyone.

She meet Yoyo boy, the conversation between them is not match actually. Also is it a mistranslation from Netflix ? Many assume she is Luna because in the translation she said to YB “but you, you’re in this world too.” This is wrong right? JTE is just said “너, 이쪽에도 있구나” she did not said anythimg about this world. The litteral meaning is just “so you are here too?” Means she is just remembering meeting this child before and say something like “you are here too?” Then its the YB that replied to her in riddle saying “theres only one me, i went there before” there is nobody said anything about which world, its just assumption. Therefore she is JTE and never Luna.

Here also comes YB important role since the thing got chaotic, he is now moving, he said “i warn people of danger and defeat enemy” and he helps JTE and hand her the knife. Remember when Luna said, “use the knife to protect what belongs to you” . Then YB says “im restoring the balance. There are too many enemies” exactly!!! I love this! YB is on her side. Then JTE use the knife to escape. And where is the Yoyo Boy? Dissapeared.

JTE realize now she is in Corea 😨 on the other side LR was angry because JTE escape. Then asking everyone to find here dead or alive. Wahh creepy af!

JTE was tired and weak but still tries to running away from those bad people. I wish i could insert the video instead, so the teaser we saw before is this scene. LR minion tries to catch / kill her and she is tired from running. She tries to reach the phone booth to call the palace. But what she saw in front of her were a bunch of people, many people, coming toward her and she only have 2 bullets left. But she is very brave and just face it, pointing the gun to them and just bitter smile. Damn you KGE, why you are so talented. This whole scene gave me chills!

Then just in time Gon found her and slice everyone with his swords to safe JTE. One of the most dramatic scene in Kdrama history. Everything is so extra. I love it. At first i feel that Gon is wasting his time to do this he can just ask the SWAT to kill them all. But then im re-thinking again. Nope, this is his fight. His love. He definitely has this feelings that this will be his fight using his most grand possesion which is the swords. And also his pride playing. Earlier we saw him furious as a King. Now we see him here furious also as a Man. Damn. Can i get one like him? Please? Also he declares that JTE is the future queen of Corea? 🥺

How it made me feel:

Eps 11 was total chaos. This is the premise and charm of this series. A non linear kind of story. It is so chaos which makes us thinks of way to solve it? Is it even possible to solve this chaos? How? On what terms? Is it just to sacrifice their love? Is it sad ending?

I LOVE IT! A story that keeps me wondering on what, why, when, where and how? This story have all of it. More than what i expected. I love the progress of the story, love all characters growth, there is a clear development, things are getting darker and darker. Many cool reference used here, many great words. Basically the script was that good ya. Just when we think something is clear, another chaos shows up. And im waiting for the next episode like crazy. How can they left us like this??? I cant wait even for a day!

Now we just need to see where KSJ and JY will go because we only see a little of them here.

#the king eternal monarch #kim go eun #tkem #lee min ho #woo do hwan #kim eun sook #kim kyung nam #jung eun chae #lee jung jin #kdrama

[el-im]

im putting all the things ive been meaning to write posts about into one single item because i am feeling Very Observed lately and i figure with it being as early as it is that hopefully this wont show up on some peoples dashes by the time they get around to pulling up tumblr today. 

first of all heres a photo dump and some captions

from when i texted charlie my images of the sisko card, which i was really hoping he’d like

a smiley face on my coffee 

i was gonna make a gender joke here bc the longer i looked at these before n after pinning back my hair pictures the more i was like ‘oh we just flipped gender presentation like a lightswitch huh’ but that was not funny and i am not funny and I wish i were but im not and its kind of a >:( fact thats been bugging me lately. 

from mom, yesterday, who dropped off one for me, one for nick, one for mia, and one for abe. i was expecting this to be the only thing i got/heads up/message on valentines day but i woke up this morning to find that aub had sent me a playlist that i looked at but havent listened to yet (because im trying to order my responses to things in increasing complexity and time--i responded to the tik toks elanor sent me first, them had a look at the star trek document that joe sent me and commented on the questions he asked without giving away spoilers, and am now making this post, which ive been meaning to make, and will then maybe try to listen to the playlist and then respond to michelle’s email) 

these are joes thoughts from some ds9 episodes. initially, i’d sent him a list of ‘best’  episodes (my favorites AND the eps i thought were most emblematic of ds9′s issues--bajor’s relationship with cardassia, trill relationships, etc) hoping that he’d be able to see the merit of the show, but he insisted on re-watching the first episode before he started working on the list because he’d only seen it once a long time ago, and then, after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit (with tosk) decided that he’d try to watch the full first season, especially after i expressed my dismay at realizing he wouldn’t get the chronological introduction to garak bc ep 3 wasnt on my list of best episodes. anyway. he showed me this list of written reactions after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit and it made me so happy he decided he’d keep doing it, which i insisted wasn’t necessary because it seems to me like a lot of work (and which i still feel guilty about) but he was like told me that he’d only seldom seen me as happy as i was upon reading that and it was something little he could do to foster that joy which.. makes my heart crack in two). 

anyway. the real reason i started this post was because ive been up in arms for the past few days about mia and covid. 

speaking of which. 

baby ‘passed’ first covid test. that arrow on the side is the minimized player where im watching nemesis. hah. 

anyway. 

to make a longer story short, my (pregnant!!!) sister decided, stupidly, to go with her boyfriend abe, a sound engineer, to a broadcast stage he was setting up in california, because she has a liver condition that appeared during her pregnancy which makes giving birth difficult (which is emotionally challenging for her because she had always wanted to do an at-home birth without drugs) and in fact, is a condition which typically leads to the birth having to be induced early, which means, at this point in development, that she could potentially need to have the child at any time. she went with him because she didn’t want to be without him if the baby needed to come. she was there for a week, with the both of them feeling sick all the while, and then came home early without abe because she felt bad and wasnt having fun, eventually getting a ride from my mother (who lives with my grandmother and great aunt, 93 and 86 respectively) back home from the airport (she took a PLANE!?). anyway. at our insistence, she was tested the same day she got home. she was reluctant to do it because she ‘didn’t think she had it’ and figured that it was ‘just the flu, honestly’ as if she had any way of knowing that???? in the day she was waiting for her test results, she came out of her room multiple times without a mask on, walking around the kitchen or playing with the dogs, even though we told her to stay in her room (and had brought her food/hot tea/whatever else she needed). she had no reason to come out when she was 1. sick and 2. not quite sure if she had covid or not

anyway. her test came back positive so she was trying to ‘stay in her room’, which lasted for.. not even a day. nick and i, who hadn’t seen either of them in a week, but had been around each other, got tests. we (as pictured) both got negative results, so mia must have gotten it in california rather than from someone we’d all seen (like nick and mia’s dad or stepmother earlier in the month) 

abe came home soon after and had taken two rapid tests when he landed, but then, when coming home, immediately was sitting in the same room as my sister, without a mask on. he slept outside in our ‘arizona room’--a screened in patio with a futon in it for the first night. when his results came back (as negative), he decided that he was fine to be in the house, so wouldn’t wear a mask in the kitchen or in the living room, (something nick and i both did) AND would also be in the same room as my sister for long periods of time. i’d like to think he was wearing a mask in there, but i can’t be sure. he was playing video games in their shared room where mia was watching tv, as long as he (AND I QUOTE) ‘stayed in his corner’. it’s a ten by ten room at most. there’s no way that staying in there, even with a mask on, for as long as he did was a smart option. so... to reiterate. abe was in a room with my sister, who has covid, for a long period of time, and then wouldn’t wear a mask when in the common areas that everyone uses. which is... great right

and the thing thats been annoying me for these last couple of days in particular, ASIDE from all the dumb shit they’ve done up to this point, is that mia says abe needs to bring her food (valid) and YET mia is always in the kitchen (which doesn’t make sense). i was in the kitchen preparing a meal the other day and she came out to refill her water. which, if abe was functioning SOLELY to bring her things, as she was insisting, would not have warranted her coming out of her room. it was the middle of the day. she could have said she needed water and left her cup by the door and i could have refilled it and brought it back.... but she didn’t. i was wearing two masks (a cloth one over a medial grade one) but was still wary about her being there--because I was making food. i told her to get out of the kitchen because she’d finished getting her water, but she said ‘just a minute!!’ and continued, not three feet away from me, trying to pick up one of the dogs and playing with her. i kept telling her to go back to her room but she was acting as though i was being rude and being completely unreasonable??? she takes every request we make for her to stay away from us as a personal attack, like we don’t want to see her or be around her, instead of us trying to protect ourselves from covid?? 

THEN the fun part is after all this, abe sets up an inflatable mattress in the office (which is :) right :) next :) to my room) because he decides he doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as mia (reasonable) despite having been occupying the same room as mia for hours (STUPID). so now abe is using the hall bathroom, which nick and i use/shower in/brush our teeth in. before, abe had been using mia’s bathroom off the bedroom, and, again, had been sleeping in there. so now, if abe DID catch it from mia, which is likely, at this point, he’d going to give it to nick and i.

nick and i were upset about this, and told mia last night that she needed to stay in her room. that was how people quarantined. that is how you quarantine. you do not leave your room for ANY reason, especially if you have 1. MULTIPLE PEOPLE CAPABLE AND WILLING TO BRING YOU FOOD AT ANY TIME OF DAY and 2. A BATHROOM THAT CONNECTS TO YOUR ROOM. she came out and started yelling at us about abe, though neither of us wanted to fight with her (and there was no reason to fight about something we were CLEARLY right about). she said ‘YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS’ which meant that abe can’t not use the livingroom and the hall bathroom (which we were saying he shouldnt do) and that he can’t be in quarantine with mia (stay with her in her room) but the thing is.... BECAUSE he has spent so much time with her, and because they weren't wearing masks when they were outside and BECAUSE he spent hours playing video games in the room that my sister has been quarantined in for a whopping two days--he now shouldnt ALSO be using our bathroom, because now we can get sick. (and probably fucking will!!!!) she is having him now stay in the office and use our bathroom (GREAT) instead of just biting the bullet and staying with her because he ALREADY HAD BEEN staying with her 

and now they are both in the kitchen :)! i can hear them from my room. great. 

anyway here r some sketches that i never uploaded before cause theyre hideous but im putting here because i hope to fuck no one actually reads this/scrolls down this far

#captain's log #it does not compute to me #that you can just be this fucking stupid #i hate her #i am SO fucking mad at her about this i dont want to live here :)

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime

[sol1056]

three anons: what the hell was all that in S7

Picking out the three that are most to the point for this answer, but I’ve got another dozen or so that overlap. Not sure I’ll have time/energy to answer the rest individually, so hopefully this meta will be sufficient. 

I mean it could be that they had different execs back then who were better at their jobs and kept Shiro around. No one disliked black paladin Shiro, even the DotU fans were ok with it, and the writing in s1-2 was mostly very good. Changing all that was a bad idea. I would have left on the spot if Shiro died or was benched, like now, I'm only around for closure. Maybe they were different execs with this decision & the EPs leaped at the chance. Well, we know who's also gonna be in trouble if that's the case.

With your theory on how storyboards were reused and characters shuffled around for cost cutting, might this not also partly explain the Adam flashback scene and how it was staged? I mean, they were originally supposed to be roommates and the scene was meant to appear in season 2 but got cut. What if they just reused the storyboard (or even animation, if it was already mostly done) the way it was and then just changed the dialogue? This could explain the lack of intimacy in the staging, too. Ezor and Zethrids interactions were more openly intimate maybe not (just) because they‘re villains who die immediately after, but because the decision to make them an item came before storyboarding was done, so the staging is more suggestive. I mean, if you think Shiro was mostly pasted in in the first half of s7, that might make sense.

If cost was the issue and they already had the black paladin Shiro version written, and got the greenlight to change it to Keith then things don't add up. Because they changed it once more! Which could have been avoided if they stuck to the Shiro one. And it goes without saying it would be better written to follow canon instead of the mess we got, like, I cant imagine this NOT discussed. So if it wouldn't be cost effective to change it again for Keith and it would be badly written, why did it happen?

Behind the cut: the most likely chronology of revisions, the clues in S7 as to its original form, and what this means for S8 and the Black Paladin position. 

This is everything I’ve been able to figure out between interviews, podcasts, tweets, plus researching the industry and a few reality-checks with friends more familiar. As always, any mistakes are my own. 

version 0: "five teenagers"

This would’ve been the first pitch after getting the green light, and probably only a loose synopsis, with just the pilot given a rough storyboard. A post-apocalyptic Earth conquered by the Galra, who are seeking Blue. The execs rejected JDS' mechanism for the discovery of Blue, in favor of simply having Keith ‘sense’ Blue. The execs also rejected the idea that Shiro would die only a few episodes in. This summary seems to be the basis of the "five teenagers" part of the teaser.

version A: "shiro kicks the bucket"

Timelines would've dictated moving onto an outline pretty quickly, detailed down to the episode level, including bits of dialogue, motifs, turning points or emotional beats. In this revision, Shiro dies/leaves at the end of S2 and does not return. This is the “originally we wanted him to kick the bucket” version, which the execs rejected.

version B: "shiro goes away for awhile"

If I'm interpreting the hints correctly, the "does Shiro die or not" question got tossed back and forth all the way into S1/S2 pre-production. Rather than rearrange everything, the easiest fix would've been to leave most of the story intact and write only a new ending where Shiro returns. The execs reject this rewrite, saying Shiro can’t be gone that long. This is the “we tried to just have him gone for awhile, but the execs said he had to come back sooner” version.

version C: "enter the clone"

Again, easiest fix is to insert Shiro/Kuron, remove Keith, and reverse that just before Shiro's return in version B. This impacts only the middle seasons (S3-S6); the clone compromise satisfies the execs. Kuron's characterization makes a lot more sense if it’s Keith, in visuals (ie Kuron leaning against the wall in Keith fashion), dialogue (fighting with Lance), and action (leaving without consulting the team). It's also why no one mentions Keith's absence. Because in the original version A, Keith was standing right there.

version D: "wtf is going on", aka Season 7

When JDS mentions having a full season written with Shiro as Black Paladin, it didn't make sense how they'd have a script and not use it. With @ptw30's visual detective work, I think I may've figured it out.

Technical notes: first scripts are all written for a season, then voices are recorded, and then the combined script+recording is used to storyboard. Production seasons are 26-episodes, independent of actual broadcast seasons; VA may be recording scenes across two 13-episode seasons completely out of order, since the recording schedule's going to be based on who's available, not chronology of the file numbers. The biggest staff changes are usually in April ('staffing season') when new shows get the greenlight and start sharking around to catch writers, designers, directors, etc.

In March of this year, S5 was released. At least some of the storyboarders were released in time for staffing season; in April, Hedrick moves to a new project. With S7/S8 being unchanged since version B, I suspect Hedrick delivered the scripts for S7 and S8 by winter of last year, at latest. Even that would be tight, since that's expecting animation to deliver 26 episodes in an 8-month timeframe. [edit: probably delivered much earlier, given the studio leaks show images we can recognize from S7/S8, so some amount of these seasons were in production by then.]

In June, S6 dropped, and a week later, Hamilton was announced as the new story editor via the Lets Voltron podcast. With the lead time required in production, there doesn't seem to be any reason to even need a story editor, at this point. All the pre-production work should be done.

In August, S7 dropped. Hedrick's editor credit is only for the first half of the season; Hamilton gets it for the second half. That means the last six episodes were written after Hedrick's departure. (May Chan's S2 script was reused in part, and she gains a belated co-writing script credit for that. Hedrick should've received the same; it's standard.)

Let's recap a few things we know (and a few we can intuit) about S7:

The season was already written with Shiro returning as Black Paladin, possibly also recorded and storyboarded. 

S6 reversed the S4-S5 trend, lending strength to exec arguments that Shiro is necessary in the story.

After S6 dropped, the EPs said the wolf's name was a spoiler. See this post from @pwt30; tl;dr is that perhaps the EPs intended the wolf to be Shiro's spirit. 

Despite Shiro's return, he's absent for the majority of the first half; when he is present, he barely speaks a half-dozen words, and none are plot-relevant. See @ptw30's post for more details. 

There's a glaring incontinuity when Allura says the paladin armor protected the team, yet Shiro is frozen with the other non-paladins despite wearing armor. 

Keith never offers for Shiro to pilot, nor mentions it, nor even seems to consider it an issue.

Not everything dovetails since I don't have the full picture, but here's my theory: S7 was originally outlined with Shiro's spirit in the wolf, rather than Black. I have no idea when/how JDS would've thought up the CA:WS parallels for his sole writing credit, but Shiro's "I died" and Lotor's psychotic breakdown are squeezed into S6E6, which was written by Josh Hamilton, Hedrick's later replacement. The only other Shiro-in-Black point is a few minutes at the end of S6's final episode. Shifting from Shiro-in-wolf to Shiro-in-Black really only affects one episode, with a bit of editing for another.

Anyway, S6 ends version C, and we segue to version B. For the first half of S7, the clone's body may have been in stasis while the team traveled through its various non-adventures. The episode we now know as S7E1 may have been the mid-point, with about six episodes of Shiro being unconcious. After watching the numbers drop from S3 to S6, the execs may've rejected another six episodes of where-is-Shiro and insisted he come back ASAP.

S7 only has two episodes that must be in order; the rest are pretty rearrangeable. All they had to do was insert Shiro into the background and record a few lines. (Several lines are pure voice-over, which also saves cost/time by not needing to animate moving mouth.) But the moved episode is only his memory/awakening, and the logical next episode would be Shiro's reconnection, and the rest of the season would roll from there. Without moving the entire second half of the season to the start, moving only his awakening episode would mean Shiro does nothing for 5-6 episodes and then abruptly reconnects.  

In a recent interview, JDS said at first the execs weren't enthused until JDS talked up the new mecha they'd give Shiro to captain. Honestly, there's no way JDS got to be EP without giving a really good pitch, but there may've been another element to his argument: nostalgia. The EPs seem certain everyone suffers from their same nostalgia dementia, which if you do, then you probably have been waiting for any glimpse of that og!Keith. If Shiro returns at the start of S7, then Keith's time in Black has been limited to a few disastrous episodes in S3, and a single big battle in S6. The beginning of S7 is the only time we'd ever see the Voltron84 formation working as a unified team, and returning Shiro too soon would defeat the whole purpose of showing how the team has grown in his absence.

The solution seems to have been to remove Shiro's reconnection completely, and keep Keith in Black. That would mean re-recording Shiro's lines from the midpoint onward, and editing in Keith over Shiro. The savings would be that only half the seaon would have to be reworked, not all. The loose end of the space wolf --- an artifact of version B --- was left in place.  

What I'm not sure of is whether the following are significant enough changes to warrant removing Hedrick's name and replacing it with Hamilton's. It could be, if supervising the revision process is enough to override the previous credits. I have no idea about that part of the industry, and it's the kind of edge case you're just not going to find a lot of blog posts about, so if you know, tell me. Otherwise, your guess is as good as mine.

Anyway, this would've meant Shiro was switched in for Allura, Allura was put back in a lion, and Keith was switched in for Shiro. This would explain why Shiro speaks as the leader of Voltron despite no longer being a paladin, and the uneasy sensations a lot of people got about the characterizations. It was most striking in the last three episodes: Shiro felt like Allura v2, while Keith felt like Shiro v2. And that further, the Altean-Earthian ship just 'lighting up' for Shiro --- and becoming that oversized white mecha --- may've meant as Allura's fourth (fifth?) deus ex machina.

I'd be willing to bet that mid-battle, Allura repeated her stunt from the end of S2, heading out to destroy Sendak's crystal by herself. She wouldn't need Sam to hack her brain, and then we'd also have a call back to when she got knocked down by the crystal-ball thing on Naxzela. If she was the one meant to go toe-to-toe with Sendak, that would explain the bizarre neutrality of Sendak's words --- he says nothing personal to Shiro, at all --- and the even more bizarre silence on Shiro's part. Allura's words wouldn't fit Shiro, so he's silent.

And lastly, it'd mean that the one leaping out of Black to cut down Sendak wouldn't have been Keith. It would've been Shiro.

Where would the story go from here?

If I look at the events of S7, the first half is terribly disjointed, really. If Shiro was supposed to wake at the midpoint, an episode (or two) is missing. One for him to reconnect with Black, and a second that would provide some minor conflict to settle him back into position. Those two episodes were likely replaced with the unexpected and frankly over-told two-parter of the Earth flashbacks.

Two problems with that, one technical, one structural.

First, the flashback two-parter has a lot of moving parts. Brand-new designs, characters, and backdrops. It's far too elaborate to be done in an ultra-compressed timeframe, not without several heart attacks and therapy bills on the part of the animation staff. (Plus, the US-based storyboarding team is already downsized, so fewer hands to do the work.)

Second, it doesn't make a lot of structural sense, especially against the big revelations in S6 of an existing Altean colony. Within the story, there's no reason to halt everything and travel across the universe to take however long to build a new castle, when the Altean colony question is far more pressing. Returning to earth also violates the structure, because it's really just a standard milieu: start on earth, head out to have adventures, and return home at the end.

But here, they're returning home and then possibly leaving again. That's just... a rather peculiar and imbalanced way to do it. It doesn't help that doing so means literally telling Romelle her people are just gonna have to rot, the paladins are certain they need the castle more. Why would you take one of the more compelling storylines you've come up with, only to background it again, and wreck the traditional bookending milieu structure at the same time? Especially if that means coming up with major set-pieces and brand-new designs in the space of several months, after a chunk of your core staff are already onto other things.

I think those two flashback episodes -- and the rewritten finale episodes --- may've been cribbed from S8. In other words, the second half of S7 was the original end of S8. That would mean repurposing already-created storyboards and animation artifacts, so there's a huge time savings there (not counting the need to re-record voices and edit the visuals to match the changed-around parts). 

[note: if there’s anywhere you want to frontload introductions for the spin-off, it’d be in the final season, not the penultimate season. Here it feels like a big honking distraction, rather than an organic segue into the next iteration.]

That change necessitated that utterly bizarro mecha that appeared out of nowhere with the most ridiculously impeccable timing. There needed to be a reason to pull the team back out to space to deal with Haggar and/or the alt-Alteans and/or Lotor or whomever else it turns out to be.

So... where we go from here depends on when S8 gets released, because that’ll tell us how much they did (or did not) edit the episodes. Another clue will be whose name gets listed as head editor for an episode; if we see Hedrick’s name reappear at the top, we’ll know we’re dealing with episodes that are enough unrevised to qualify as being Hedrick-edited, that it’s a version B episode. 

My expectation? They’ll move Shiro’s reconnection to the first part of S8, and add an episode or edit pieces of another, to blend it into what would’ve been the first half of S8 (probably with filler to mask the gap). Then add an episode to segue into the version B finale of S7, where we’d end with the original VLD lineup. With the time needed for animation, that’d be the easiest (if potentially awkward) way to repurpose as much as possible of existing artifacts. 

If we don’t get S8 in the next 1-2 months, though, all bets are off, and there’s a much greater possibility that the entire final season is being redone from scratch. I’d expect Keith to stay in Black, in that case, but I’m always willing to be pleasantly surprised.  

edited to add: see this followup for another detail that supports the reversed-seasons theory

#vld #voltron #analysis #story structure #television production #come for the sugar stay for the salt #sol thinks about stuff

[rqs902]

OMGOSHH EP 5 IS YAO CHI APPRECIATION TIME YESSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSS 

ok bc i couldnt help but include some spoilers, the rest is going under the cut:

iqiyi giving mr tyger all the group shots bc........

BROOOOO CHEN SIJIAN’S RAP!!!!!!!!!!!! omgogomg this is where wuzelinwuzelinwuzelinsunzelinsunzelinsunzelinkeqinmingkeqinmingkeqinming comes frommmm i love itttt his lyrics are hilarious!!! and also immediately being like ‘ill get rid of wu zelin!’ when mc jin brings it up HAHHAHA

daniel is a cutie!!!!

yao chi talking about his rap..... wow can i hug him hes amazing

awwww xia hanyu talking about wenhan..... wenhan’s really done a lot for him

wait that whole last bit where they leave dachang is just obvious iqiyi favoritism and it kinda makes me sad.....

UGH honestly the worst part about jia yi being so popular is that hes gonna miss his tyger gege’s when he has to leave them behind....

by the time lin mo was called, he was already so done... he looked so defeated.... because he knew they wouldnt be able to stay together and its so heartbreaking..... 

OKAY THESE SPECIAL TEACHERS WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK. OH MY GOODNESSSSS HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE EVERY SINGLE TYGER MEMBER EXCEPT THE ONES THAT ACTUALLY NEED TO BE CHOSEN???!??!?!! THATS SO FRUSTRATING ALSDKJALSK LITERALLY EVEN IQIYI WANTED THEM TO BE CHOSEN!! THEY LITERALLY PAN TO EITHER JIN FAN OR ZHEN NAN AT EVERY SINGLE BREAK I SWEAR AALSKDJLKKSDK

jia yi hesitating at the end...... and zhen nan’s words at the end.... HES FREAKING 61!!!!!!1 61!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS FREAKING JIANG JINGZUO ALL OVER AGAIN BUT THEY DIDNT LET HIM SPEAK WTFFFFF ok if youre gonna keep giving zhen nan and jin fan screentime bc yall regret eliminating them so early why you dont give them screentime at the end when it really matters????? i wanna see what zhen nan would say (jingzuo’s last minute screentime got him a lot of attention too... the fact that they didnt give zhen nan any is NOT HELPING) and i wanna see jin fan and chen youwei’s freaking last friendship bc youwei was rooting for him the whole time bc HE KNOWS JIN FAN DESERVES TO MAKE IT!!!!

AHHHHHHHH LIN MO ITS LIN MO!!!??! HE’S INJURED!!?! AAAHHSHHGHHGHH NOT MY CHILD WTF NOOO!! lakjsdlakalsk omgosh please be alright..... it sounded like his voice making that pained sound, and the person was blonde so i think its lin mo....... noooo my heart.... i cant take more stress, we literally just had elims..... so lin mo has to say goodbye to his friends (including his best friend...) and then he gets injured???? alsdkjlakj ughhhh 

omgosh daniel getting the special time at the end is just another stab to the heart goodness.... he was my favorite oaca kid from the start.... 

i cant believe chen you made it and daniel didnt.... also im so sad that like ou tianrui was the only one who didnt make it from bg project, that must be so sad... also sad that yao chi is the only one from mavericks that made it... losing all your closest friends at once :c im happy for guan yue and mingming going up, they deserve it 

WHOEVER MADE THE ENDING CREDITS IS LIN MO BIASED HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WTFFF THERES 3 CUTS OF HIM AND 2 OF THEM ARE REALLY EXTRA AND THE THIRD ISNT EVEN FROM THIS EPISODE HAHAHAH WHO INCLUDED THAT???!! i mean yes he looks very sad and is crying there but its like so random i laughed (im sorry)

okay not gonna lie i didnt cry as much as i thought i would. yes it was sad but i kinda already knew that jin fan and zhen nan werent gonna make it so i was more just FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY watching the whole thing and seeing them get random bits of screentime (YOURE TOO LATE IQIYI) but i heard rumors and then when i saw those goodbye videos they uploaded on weibo today....... my heart sank like oh goodness its real...... i cant live in denial forever.... I STILL CANT BELIEVE ZHEN NAN WAS FREAKING 61 AND JIN FAN WAS FREAKING UNDERAPPRECIATED WTFFFFF everyone on jin fan’s team im sure was rooting for him bc they knew how he was so vital to their success --- he literally taught them all the choreo wtf chen youwei would be nothing without jin fan..... ughhhh alsdkjalsdkjlaks this is so frustrating im so sad for him....... but now i just really wish jin fan and zhen nan do some really cool stuff and stay active while they wait for the others. i think its likely (sadly) that zhan yu will get eliminated the next round, (but im honestly surprised and grateful that the special teachers recognized his talent! he realllyy killed that ‘retreat’ stage even tho zhenning is getting all the attention) and lin mo is liked by iqiyi (i think) but i dont think he has enough potential to actually make it into the top 9... or maybe its just my wishful thinking bc i hope mr.tyger can go on promoting without jia yi, but without jia yi AND lin mo, itd get pretty rough for them, so if at least lin mo stays behind with mr. tyger, i think they could potentially still do somewhat well in the meantime while jia yi goes off to debut with the top 9 and they wait for him to come back

and now for my random predictions: 

right now its rather fixed that wenhan, guan yue, and jia yi will make it. I think youwei, huaiwei, mingming, chunyang, wang jiayi are all likely, which means most of them will make it (but probably not all), and then xixi.... honestly i feel like xixi wont make it (BUT I REALLY LIKE XIXI) but i think iqiyi doesnt like him enough to give him enough screentime for him to make it (at least at this current rate....) also please note that YAO MINGMING WAS THE ONLY ONE FROM THE TOP 9 who did NOT get to go on that trip to leave dachang coughiqiyihatesmingming but luckily/hopefully mingming is popular enough to get votes anyway, LIKE MINE BC I VOTE FOR MINGMING). other than the current top 9, I think its likely either shi zhan or li zhenning or deng chaoyuan will make it. zhenning is the lowest of the three right now, but iqiyi likes him and hes gotten the approval of all the judges AND he was able to shoot up a ridiculous amount from pretty much just ONE DAY of voting (maybe a week at max, counting from the time they released the solo cams), and these votes have been tallying for the past month. so can you imagine how much more he’ll shoot up next time? he has a ton of potential to make it. shi zhan is already up there but iqiyi really likes him too bc of how hilarious he is, and jolin’s approved his smile so i can see him getting more and more screentime too. yao chi i think is also likely, bc he won 1st place visuals hahah that gets him attention from the public but also the staff, so i think theyll give him more and more screentime too. plus he has a touching backstory and mc jin has approved of him too. i think yao chi is someone who they’ve depicted as really humble and works really hard, and they like his smile. (who doesnt hahaha) but ofc there’s probably gonna be a lot of toss up in the rankings yet to come. from ip1 we learned that 70% of the kids were fixed from the start hahaha but 2-3 of them can come from behind, so who knows. iqiyi seems to really like cheche and wangzhe (how did wangzhe and wu chengze get to go on the trip to leave dachang but not mingming?? i mean i really like chengze tbh but i was just so surprised he was there! hahaha it seems so random bc hes #22?? i mean good for him but still)

anyway im all in all kinda all tired from watching a stressful 3 hrs lol but tbh i feel like they didnt show as much of the fun hotpot time as id hoped... and what about all the other rankings besides #1 visual? i dont really understand why they took a few random kids (who, no surprise, all dont get eliminated this ep) out of dachang for that trip.... i like a lot of those kids honestly, but id rather have seen more of the big group bonding / singing over hotpot (giving some of the kids who get eliminated some last screentime before they leave) or at least like find out who ranked in #1 boyfriend or something like that hahaha.... oh well..... now its time for me to go wallow in some mr tyger content so i can mourn the loss of our two children.... 

#rants #ok side note while i was watching i totaalllyy forgot to eat dinner LOL #so now its 830pm and im hungry af #thank you ip for making forget my basic living needs in favor of watching these children cry

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair. 

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

---

omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME! 

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1

#nomorethings

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

yO i was abt to write to you abt the new modc ep (what's going on with the weird cuts at the beginning jcbjfbjb im crying) but i saw your post so!!!! tell me abt your dream bro i wanna hear abt it!!!!!! -✨

OH I HAVENT SEEN IT YET RIGHT I FORGOT IT CAME OUT TODAY!!! Let me watch it then we can talk abt it !!

And well my dream is pp long so bear w me 😔 i don't have the 'read more' function on mobile so i apologise in advance for everyone who comes across this !! I'll edit the 'read more' into it when I can 😊 ( i hav edited it hehehehe )

SO . actually there are several parts to this dream and I woke up between the first two parts but ... YEA.

At first I was home but a cat had gotten inside my house, I already had two cats ( my current cat and the one that will have died one year ago exactly tomorrow... yes five days after my birthday december is a cursed month for me. but if u wanna know abt him just search 'tchoupi' on my blog ) and I don't think my girl was okay w that new cat ? also new cat looked wonky sjhsjsh ? I wasn't sure abt its behaviour bc it seemed like it cld get irritated fast. In the end my mother told me to throw it out so I did against my will but when I saw it walk away... it had a missing leg.... I was like oh shit dude no come back... so I went and opened the front door and it came back running !!! I couldn't leave it like that w/o food if it already was incapacitated in a way. so that was my new cat. everything ends well ( I'm pp sure I forgot a part of that part but it's not the one I'm interested in )

SECOND PART... THE CÅSTLË. i was in a castle that was more medieval than renaissance styled or whatever the fuck i didnt study architecture but yes this. it had a courtyard with a fountain and that courtyard had a beautiful view on The Unknown ( aka fields and forests and stuff yknow just. The view ) but there were also bridges ( not the rock kind the "we use it in movies to make a character dramatically fall after the villain cut the rope" kind ) and little paths to go to The Unknown. there was a built-in church ( not a christian but i guess that was a smart choice given most attendees were fire emblem characters and they were definitely christians ) and also stables i guess ? but the front stables were empty and i didn't get to see the actual stables. the front stables had a pathway going around them ( there was a front stable on the left and on the right, with the courtyard being a little pushed back ? like if you left the end of the stable pathway you were already past the courtyard )

so now picture all ot this but suddenly the sky is super dark and everything is grim and gloomy. like a typical halloween movie. everything that was neat feels now worn out and the pathways are definitely scary, nobody wants to go there !

i was looking for my friends ( aka mercedes from fire emblem three houses ) but somehow couldn't find them, a fight broke out between ingrid and annette ( also fire emblem three houses ) and i don't like rich horse girls nor do i like racists so i was about to beat ingrid's ass. this big dude comes in and threatens me so i scold him and he and ingrid both go away. i win. i talk to more people but they're all acting weird except annette i guess. whatever weirdos i'm out

next i keep looking, but now i'm not alone - i'm not sure of whether it's a real presence or just a spirit until the end of this sequence where this boy tells me where to go and what to do to fix things a little, so i go into both stable pathways and end up being possessed twice ( demonic possession isn't as bad as they tell you i turned out fine ) so when the boy tells me where to go next i'm like "are we getting possessed a third time ?" he chuckles. ( i am gay so that was cute )

but we don't get any time to do that third thing ! we get out of the pathways and everyone is planning to go fight whatever is beyond The Unknown ! i look at the boy and awake me now pictures him as kraam from the stranded. cool i have a nice partner in crime i'm okay with that. the others leave, there's a lot of them but a second group is getting ready ! so kraam-but-not-quite grabs my arm firmly but like he doesn't hurt me or anything and we start going into The Unknown as well. im like hey wtf do we do now. and he tells me oh these two groups are going mad that couldn't be us let's go find the stray kids ( awake me now realises this is ~cringe~ but dream me was like whoa a solitary group of ppl who fight bigger evils ! BC YES THAT WAS WHAT SKZ WERE DOING IN THIS DREAM but i never met them ) so we can join forces w them and defeat these ppl. i look back. i see the second group from afar bc they have torches. im like wow this is like beauty and the beast.

something happens, idk what, but kraam starts running ! i'm a slow runner so i thought oh fuck not again but i ran after him anyway, the next bit is us running through a sort of jungle ( the sky is clear again ) and like its CRAZY i fucking loved that bit bc WOO ADVENTURE !! ( im a sagittarius )

then we slip between two trees' leaves and end up in a facility. we keep running bc if we stay there We Will Die. suddenly i am slowed down ( which leads me to believe before that he was holding my wrist but released my wrist when he slipped between the trees ) but he checks on me which i appreciate because that means he would rather die with me than survive without me, romance luv

his father ! the bastard. tries to kiss me in front of his mother. im like lmao dude thats disgusting die n go to catholic hell. i push him away and tell him off, he gets pissed but i cant go look for kraam bc his brothers r telling me abt how we're gonna go on a road trip. im like ? the world is abt to end tho ? but apparently my dream rly wanted a drama plot so fine.

his brothers have, allegedly, caught on to an alleged potential relationship between us. no im not gonna complain abt it im lonely and sad and gay so my dream fills in for me. theyre talking abt how theres not enough room for all of us in the van unless i sit on kraam for the trip but they ( specifically the one brother who oddly reminds me of dbk rain ) somehow make it into a sexual joke ? being me tho i didnt get it KSBSKDH... they were like talking abt legs ?? i remember it was abt how it wouldnt work with smth with four legs 'unless i could go with three' and like i dont even know what the hell that was supposed to mean we're talking abt a van not a horse ygwim ?

idk if i woke up after that but my brain did picture both me complaining to kraam abt his dad doing that and him getting quietly angry and just telling me to not come close to him again just in case hed try it again AND the beginning of the 'road trip' where i was indeed using kraam as a seat. and i was sleeping bc idk maybe i was tired from the running ! i hope my next dream is the continuation bc boy that was a whole drama episode

also i gave up and started calling him just kraam but it wasnt kraam ofc he just had kraams face from what i remember ! but he wasnt kraam at all

#askies #✨anon #long post #i needed to describe the entirety of the place before i cld go on bc i remember everything super clearly #i always remember locations from my dreams the most #thank u for letting me talk abt it ur a blessing

[knamjoonswhore]

tag tag tag tag

thank u for the tag @binktop​ I LOVE LONG TAGS HERE I GO

Are you named after anyone? 

nah apparently my sister just suggested the name Amy cos she heard it on tv and my mam decided to go along with it lol (tho milly and molly were also contenders)

When was the last time you cried? 

watching the last 2 eps of Your Lie in April 2 DAYS AGO (i cry a LOT so I'm surprised it wasnt literally yday)

Do you like your handwriting? 

i actually do! 

What is your favorite lunch meat? 

um does this mean like,,, sliced chicken or somethin cos if so,, sliced chicken

Do you have kids? 

nope and i don't plan to bc fun fact i don't do well w children at ALL

If you were a different person would you be friends with you? 

idk man i cant see a reason why id hate Real Me 

Do you use sarcasm? 

yah but in a deadpan obviously jokey way cos i never want it to be misconstrued as genuinely being mean lol

Do you still have your tonsils? 

hell yh

Would you bungee jump?

hell yh

What’s your favorite cereal?

krave, i can literally have it for any meal of the day and its particularly great when ur drunk

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

NOPE lol im lazy 

Do you think you’re a strong person?

im def not physically weak but I'm genuinely so emotionally fragile xoxo

What’s your favorite ice cream? 

mint choc chip! 

What’s the first thing you notice about people? 

i dont rlly know,, probs (and this sounds rlly bad) I'm very aware of the ways in which people laugh (i don't JUDGE it i just,, suddenly become Very Aware)

What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself? 

genuinely theres a lot of little things but my biggest issue is just my big fat legs and thighs

What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? 

I'm wearing mickey mouse pyjama pants and bed socks :)))

What are you listening to right now? 

Warrior’s Dance by The Prodigy get hype

If you were a crayon what color would you be? 

OK SO I SEARCHED THEM UP and i identify w newport jazzberry festival and yankee doodle dandelion (i love the names)

Favorite smell? 

ANY candle or spray with some sort of ocean breeze vibe its just so fresh

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

my mam literally the only people i talk to on the phone (if i can help it) is my mam and nana

Favorite sport to watch? 

...... volleyball

Hair color? 

kinda just brown now, sorta like hay

Eye color? 

v dark brown almost black

Do you wear contacts? 

nah nah even if i wanted to the prism in my glasses (the only reason i have them anyway) is 2 thick for contacts i think

Favorite food? 

oml dont do this how can i possibly decide. chocolate fingers and shortbread and churros for sweet things. i love marzipan and black pudding. yorkshire puddings. ANY MEXICAN FOOD like the nachos from chiquito mmm

Scary movies or comedy? 

comedy i guess

Last movie you watched? 

my life as a courgette!! i recommend it SO much

What color shirt are you wearing? 

a white dominoes t-shirt with the words EAT ME! on it lol

Summer or winter? 

genuinely winter even tho i literally become so depressed in winter just clothes r  easier and i can wear big clunky boots and i like cold

Hugs or kisses? 

kisses

Book you’re currently reading? 

im ,, not rlly. im buying new ones for my hols next month tho

Who do you miss right now? 

MY NANA i haven't seen her properly in weeks even tho i usually go round hers every weekend, just cos I've been so busy 

What’s on your mouse pad? 

i aint got a mouse pad

What’s the last tv program you watched?

Your Lie In April :(((((

What is the best sound? 

HMMMM the sound of the door knocking when ur hungry and waiting for takeaway to come, or the sound when u cross finish line of mario kart race and u’ve came first

Rolling stones or The Beatles?

Beatles!

What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled?  

to Dubai or Florida idk which is further 

Do you have a special talent? 

not that i can think of, i can play guitar and uke and knit and draw and etc etc but its all mediocre 

Where were you born? 

north england! (THE REAL NORTH)

yay this was fun now i just wanna do MORE lmao i cant be stopped anyway i tag @marcvscicero @itana-007 @shouldvecometoshiratorizawa @neongenesisevanjelion AAAAAND just anyone else tbh 

#i #tag #i love tags

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

#personal

[zayadriancas]

Dnc season 3 thoughts warning spoilers ahead also very long and messy

I want to write my thoughts I have so many That was the most amazing season since season 12 in my opinion I don't know where to begin This is probs gonna be out of order because I watched all 10 episodes straight through no break only paused to type a post a few quick things on here •Maya's plot was by far my favorite I could relate to it so much, the suicide attempt was exactly how I attempted to, I didn't OD as badly as Maya but I took a lot that made me feel sick for days. The scenes with her mom especially where she threw the mirror made me cry. I've had so many similar outbursts like that. And feeling like no one was there for her. I understand why people shut her out, Grace was disturbed by the photos and Zig is basically Esmes property (not talking about the kiss but feels like he's not even allowed to talk to Maya because of Esme smh) I'll get to that later but like I've felt like that too like no ones here for me kike I only have one friend and I know he can't always be here for me but I feel like I'm not important to him and he knows I'm suicidal and depressed and I'll tie in what Lola said that I can relate to SO much, "It's like we have pain but we can't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable" and I think that's how I make people feel and it sucks. Not that Maya really talked about her pain but she felt like no one cared. She even said "I feel like Tristan's there(hospital) because I exist" after bringing up Cam's suicide and Adams death (so glad they added him in there too because I found it weird that Maya was in a band with him and she wasn't at the funeral/bonfire or even mentioned it before) but anyway like idk where I'm going with this Maya's whole plot this season was so relatable and gave me so much tears The fact that she broke her wrists too omg 😭😭😭 but the most disturbing was the roof scene like the writers said it would be, omfg I'm so glad Esme and Zig found her and saved her I'm glad Katie made an appearance I wasn't ever the hugest fan of her but I'm glad she was there for Maya I already said this earlier but I cried when she performed the song she wrote for Zig And omg the way he tickled her was so cute THEY CONTINUE TO MURDER MY SOUL AMD I CANT BELIEVE MAYA KISSED HIM AND he finally learned his lesson to pull away when he has a girlfriend but he couldn't do that when he was with Maya UGHH I already said this but I hate Zig/Esme as a couple. I would even take Zace over this. She's so rude to everyone and I feel bad for her for what happened to her mom it's so fucking sad and I'm glad they finally told us her backstory. But the way she treated Maya, shay(especially shay but I'll get to that later) Miles, and just how she acts towards people in general. Every time Zesme kisses I cringe. I hate how she bumped Maya on purpose. Like Maya probably wasn't even aware Zesme was an official couple she knew back last season they were hanging out but it's not Maya's fault and I'm just so upset for Maya this whole season. I felt all of her pain She looked so gorgeous though I love her hair and her wardrobe this season •I love that they did a period plot. It's so realistic and relatable. I got my period at school before and bled over the back of my pants and didn't notice till way later and no one told me. Just laughed. Esme was such a bitch about it god when will that girl just shut up. Tiny was so sweet to buy Shay tampons but he shouldn't have given them to her in class lol. But I loved Frankie and Shay being there for each other this season and all their conversations. •Hunters plot I thought was gonna be lame but it actually was so funny. "Let's just agree for now that boners are funny" lmao and "we were gonna watch porn" and them all sitting there awkwardly lol •I normally don't like Zoe but I LOVED her this season and I'm so proud of her for being so confident and being open about her sexuality without caring what anyone thinks. Her and Rasha are great together I love them and I also love the Gracevas renewed friendship. ITS SO FUCKING SAD ZOES MOM KICKED HER OUT I HATE THAT BITCH. I'm so glad Grace is letting Zoe stay with her. •Like I said I loved Lola's line about her having pain but not being able to talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable like I said I can relate so much. I hate myself but I didn't hate Lola/Miles I just wish it hadn't been while he was with Tristan. But I did like their friendship a lot. I also love that Yael and Lola became friends. And I'm so glad they went in depth with the abortion plot it's so important and I'm glad everyone supported her. •Graces plot was so sad but IM GLAD SHE GOT A PLOT ABOUT HER ILLNESS and although it showed her friendship with Jonah it was all from her POV and although I suspect feelings (and I actually do ship them quite a bit tbh the scene on the golf course was so cute) it wasn't all about that it was about Grace choosing to take a chance no matter how risky and trying to live life to its fullest and I am so glad she's become the Grace we know and love this season. It made me sad when she blocked Maya's number but I understand why she did it. •Tristan at the end well throughout the whole episodes typing in his computer was so heartbreaking but I'm so glad he is awake and I'm so glad we got to see his mom finally. TBH the play the acting was so forced and had no emotion it made me cringe but I'm glad Miles told Tristan the truth. And Tristan typing into his computer "can we get pizza it's been 6 months since I've had pizza" omg •everyone there for Maya at the hospital in the end was great too even Zoe and Miles im so glad she has support. When zig said "I told her to leave me alone today" reminded me of when he said "I told cam to go away and he did" but I'm so glad everyone knows it's not their fault. I'm so so relieved and glad Maya's gonna make it and that she's gonna be okay. (Physically I mean) I know mentally it's gonna take time but I know she'll make it through this. •I don't care about Fronah but I feel bad for Frankie. What she did was wrong reading his messages but I can tell throughout the whole episodes especially when she told him in the car she wanted a break she was trying to be mature about it, I think aside from the message reading she handled herself fine throughout everything and as always I loved her friendship moments with Lola and Shay. •Miles's speech at the beginning about wanting to take someone's pain away from them and give it to himself made me cry so hard. As always, Esme pissed me off with how she treated him. Like I understand she was upset by the pictures but she should know better than anyone what it's like to go through seeing someone she loves going through pain and Miles was trying to cope in the only way he knew how. I get the pictures were triggering for the class and i get why it was asked to be turned off but to make him feel bad about it idk where im going with this im tired but anyway the whole thing just made me tear up •The whole zig/Esme sex thing and shit and every time they kissed made me wanna barf. Zig looked so hot though throughout this whole season. IM SO GLAD WE FINALLY KNOW WHERE ZIG LIVES AND OMG SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A Family made me so sad. And like I already mentioned Esmes past shocked me and I feel so terrible for her. •Maya giving grace her ring I wanted to cry. Also when Grace said Maya was a crappy friend made me feel so upset like I get Maya kept bailing on plans but it was clear Maya was going through something. But it was clear Maya felt bad when she found out what grace was going through. Maya looking at the pics in her room made me so sad. I can't wait until she is happy like that again. She deserves so much happiness and love. •also I hope Jonah gets a plot about being in narcotics anonymous next season I'm glad they gave us something about him like we knew he had drug debts before but I thought they'd never bring it up again I'm glad they did even if it was briefly • shiny was adorable even though they kept fighting but they were able to make up which im happy for aside cuz from Zasha and the possibility of Grace/Jonah happening they are the only canon ship I care about. Well not the only one but the only one I believe will make it at this point I honestly thought Zesme would be done by ep 10 but they're still going strong and next season which is the seniors final season Maya will be recovering and Zig seemed to be over her this season and I just feel so sad I wanna have hope for Zaya but I feel like it's pointless. Of course what's most important is Maya is happy and healthy again and if she graduates happy that's all that matters to me. But Zesme being endgame terrifies me. I mean I love that zig and Maya interacted but zig mostly just seemed so wrapped up in Esme now and he had every right to move on but it still breaks my heart 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Anyway though aside from Zesme this season was amazing, totally amazing and had great plots in every episode and I was so hooked and it was definitely the best Next Class season so far. I can't believe all my faves will be leaving next season😭😭. This season was deff in my top 5 1: Season 4 2: Season 7 3: Season 12 4: DNC season 3 5: Season 11 So yeah I can't wait to see gifs of this season lol I wanna gif but I'm too tired. I wanna screencap but I'm so tired. After I sleep maybe. I'm emotionally drained from that amazing season

#dnc spoilers #maya matlin #zig novak #miles hollingsworth #lola pacini #shay powers #anti esme song #anti zig/esme #frankie hollingsworth #hunter hollingsworth #zoe rivas #rasha zuabi #zasha #katie matlin #grace cardinal #jonah haak #gronah #suicide tw

[shaydraplays]

okay, here are the liveblogs of the entirety of she-ra season 1

because i don’t know how to consume media responsibly

see individual episodes under the cut: 

ep1 - catra fucking purred with excitement, i had to go back to confirm, the furries are back at it again - and she sleeps at the foot of adora's bed... incredible - does she just sleep with her helmet on? wait i guess all these soldiers don't have sleep clothes, but still? - the adora-glimmer-beau fight scene was hilarious. beau and glimmer just straight up screaming at adora with enough force to shake? excellent. - the way glimmer runs with the sword away from danger is SO good - glimmer just DOESN'T stop screaming and honestly, mood - lmao

ep2 - jesus CHRIST the opening is physically killing me - the amount of times beau's voice breaks - the way they animated people moving is just top notch in general - the voices also... very good - hell yeah floppy eared deer people - neigh - incatrible - damn just keep tasing her i guess... rude - catra fucking bodice ripping the netting hell yeah - the transformation makes her and the sword slightly taller like, why??? - :C catra - "wait, whose horse was this" well it's yours now

ep3 - beau's voice continues to be excellent - the amount of screaming beau and glimmer do on average is also excellent - how are you not enraptured by horsie rolling in the grass next to you? - omg pegacorn floppin around - beau and glimmer are masters of the "oh shit" run. trot? - granny is cute - catra has such disaster lesbean vibes - i dont have my glasses you'll have to speak up - how does horsie's wings keep changing color - also i've completely accepted the ridiculosity of all these names but still... - the arc werewolf man makes when kicked - thank u for validating me swiftwind - wait where do you put the sword when not in use

ep4 - how's they get adora's horde jacket out of the bushes near that village? also she lost her force captain pin rip - so do they just never change clothes? i had high hopes from adora putting on stuff to cover the horde symbol but i guess not - aw sleebover - okay they have no sleep clothes here either - general is hot - did catra draw princess on a horse or - zarkon is a twink now. twunk? - is that jasper's voice for that side character - the beast of beast island - those are not tree destruction foley sounds - yeah stop the machines poisoning ur land! environmentalism! - this is a small kingdom. these kingdoms are all really small? - you've been friends for like 2 days - where did they get horde outfits - beau's lil exclamations are.... Good - YAY SLEEBOVER

ep5 - something tells me adora doesn't like boats - i HAVE to mute the theme song. just, wow - go fish........ - who voices scorpia because Nice - nice violin - mermista is relatable - "They're coming right for the Gate!" mermista's big groan is a mood - is catra's MO from now on just gonna be to leap up to wherever Adora is doing hero things and monologue at her - i wanna be on 8-foot-tall woman's side as well - lmao christen the ship right there

ep6 - lmao glimmer's face when she-ra boutta bust it open - only tiny food........ - drunk adora is cute - did they just leave the sword - fizzy lifting drinks - okay so the sword is just animated when its convenient, otherwise i guess adora vores it or something

ep7 - that last episode was trite so now im gonna draw while watching - i love when they reference adora's depressing upbringing. "no i don't know what an aunt is but i was hoping someone would eventually explain". also beau is a bro - so lightspinner is shadowsneaker or whatever, right - naptime - i hope they explain who greyskull is etc sometime - do you not know what a pillow is why are you lying backwards - adora trust ur friends more pls it's been at least a week by now - thats new - catra no

ep8 - soooo prom means they'll change their clothes right - damn scorpia's a princess, what does it mean that they gave up their gemstone thing? no magic? - a true soldier by upbringing, adora - hell YEAH catra in a tux - neau just gotta wear a croptop - how are they gonna let catra in her whole bodys a weapon - hell yeah these ppl snazzy as fuck - so what the fuck is swiftwind doing these days anyway - adora is me. hormf snacks - man scorpia why cant u just let ppl chill - hell yeah sexual tension dance time - how do they know how to dance - catra is smooth - "you don't understand" ouch that is like the worst thing to say to smol frost princess - catra no - "I don't want you to" man she is such a... kovu's mom in lion king 2 or 3

ep9 - beau maDE THEM FIGURINES IM CRY - rip mermista - captain dude is so dumb - scorpia is going to kill u - this rebellion is clearly not combat ready - the black garnet is the one that scorpia's family gave the horde right? - really digging the low res pixels of the cell door being kicked for some reason - kyle pls - beau's expressions are SO good - well this sucks - if adora actually got her memories wiped and rejoined the herd and catra had to pretend that everything was normal man that'd be a good fanfic - glimmer thats very anime of u - catra, a lil bitch as always - damn, nice lighting - THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU B-BAKA - catra no - damn, she really just got incinerated right in front of the team, huh - had to let the sad end credits music play this time, alexa play despacito

ep10 - "yeah that sure smells like concrete" thanks scorpia - adora is SO excited that she can use magic - i had to look it up but yeah i can definitely hear the amethyst in catra's voice now - yeah entrapta didn't seem like she gave much of a shit in the first place - hell YEAH she just jumps out the window - it's pretty incredible that they haven't miscolored catra's eyes yet, at least that i saw - thank u for coming back to the original disagreement and hashing it out, hell yeah emotional intelligence - just tell ur mom, blease - when queen mom is holding glimmer as she glitches... wow that's very adult fear of you - why do they not animate the sword and backbacks whenever it pleases them? i can excuse magical sword bullshit but c'mon catra needs to eat - hell yeah trippy psychological horror episode PLEASE - catra no

ep11 - hell yeah time for the "save my archnemesis frenemy from being killed by nonsentient technology ostensibly on my side, only to receive zero gratitude and probable betrayal from said frenemy" episode - their interactions are SO good - keeping things close to your chest and not saying anything about entrapta, nice - blease i just want them to be frens again - BAPY CATRA YES - FLOFF - BLEASE - FRENS - tween catra is EXTRA FLOFF - really telling that all their good memories are of getting chased by superiors and fighting each other. fucking horde - teen lizard's hair is good - catra's pretty good at saving herself. can she do it in the way that matters, though? - part cat, part monkey - well then, this memory probably doesn't end happily - oh, maybe this'll give adora hints on how to heal glimmer - fucking shadow... slipper. fuck u - jesus christ well this is just the writing on the wall for why catra can hate adora so easily. fuck u shadow sneak - bapy.... she hiss - w o w

ep12 - creepy. yes. i have been called this before. i n c r e d i b l e - hell yeah aliens - oh my god it speaks - man, what is EVEN scorpia's deal besides comic relief... horde is real bad at cultivating friendship - hack the p l a n e t - god damn, speaker baby imp is creepy. also how did catra not hear/smell that, maybe all horde shit smells similar - so entrapta doesn't have her corresponding gemstone? also oooooh, that's what the moonstone is. - adora, you made a self-cognizant horse, look at it now, it's got self-assurance and helpful words that also perpetuate the message that all domestic or captive animals are suffering, but in a joking manner

ep13 - ok, last ep of season 1, oh boy. can't wait to read all the post s1 fanfic - how did they... switch seating order... c'momn dreamworks - so why is entrapta a princess if she doesn't have a gemstone - WHY is beau still baring his midriff? in armor??? - wait so you can stand on water now? - stop monologueing holy shit - i guess there just isn't water? - k, deus ex machina and big damn heroes, i guess - nice combo attacks - she ra said gay rights. happy wrath month everyone - catra.......... no

#shaywatches shera #she ra #she ra netflix #text post #liveblog

[lifestoryparty]

When I finally wrote this

been watching heroes for a bit, this ep was a bit to intense, haha. it was sad. anyways, i finally might get to writing more of my life story. I havent ever written about this part of my life, and honestly the only thing ive got left anymore might be old messages and a poem I wrote a long time ago to do with this period, thats it. Maybe I didnt write about it because to write about it was to let it go, to write about it was to accept things for what it was, maybe I was afraid shed see it, I honestly cant remember because I know for a long time after I did everything I humanly could to forget because remembering hurt far to much. The day me and Moo Moo broke up I didnt honestly believe it was over, we always made up and made it work, she was loyal and mine and we pushed through everything together. I believed she would never leave. I literally believed that she wouldnt ever go, she’d always be there. That was during a time that I had really never been hurt to that extreme before, I actually trusted her with all my heart, and I mean with everything, she was a good person, she had been through so much already, dealt with me at my worst, dealt with all the craziness like with drake and meds and crying in the shower, attempted suicide, she knew me in and out more than anyone really did at that time. I dont know if i was friends friends with tompkins or not yet but even he didnt know me like that. So yeah i didnt believe it when she said it. well the next day came around and there was no messages saying she wanted me back or was sorry, there wasnt anything. so I messaged her and she said it was really over. so I started to panic a little and was like no, I need you, I love you, and I really really started to realize it recently what you really meant to me, I wanted to do a special thing for you on valentines day, etc. but she completely wouldnt take it. She gave me the reasons she gave on that last blog i sent, and I said I could change and Id do anything for her but she said it was to late. well finally I asked if it was lucas, and she admitted it was, she admitted to hanging out with him and just talking to him for hrs in his dorm room. she said nothing happened, but she felt things with him she hadnt felt with me in a really long time. She felt like they connected and he deserved a chance. I was upset, I felt like i’d been the one with her all this time, why does he deserve a chance? dont I get a chance to prove I can change? she didnt even give me that, she just let me go…Well from there, it was back and forth for a while trying to beg for her back, but she wouldnt allow it. I would go in to our public speaking class and stare at her, sorta small talk, but not really saying anything. it freaked me out, scared me. How we could have been so close to nothing at all. She still wore my promise ring every day and it confused me. The pain in me started growing worse and worse and I was starting to lose it. I started having panic attacks off and on, i’d lie in my bed in the dark listening to dark depressing music, or music that reminded me of her. I’d scream in to the blankets, punch the walls, cry, I would curse at god for letting it happen, i’d beg him to let me have her back but nothing changed. My dad tried to explain what I was going to go through and what i’d have to do. He tried to get me to promise not to do anything drastic but he couldnt have prepared me in the least to how I was going to feel. Every day that i’d wake up i’d be completely numb, it was just pain to the point of losing my mind. Every day felt like a blur, I always had goosebumps, i’d replay every moment that I could remember in my head over and over. I couldnt see the world around me, it was all slow motion and so very cold. I could barely do school. I wasnt there in my head. my grades started dropping, I was failing math, but I didnt care about anything, she was all I had keeping me going through what was already hell, she was my strength through the court stuff with drake and what it caused, and now I felt like I had no one. When it came to my class with her I wouldnt do any of the presentations in front of the class, i did them in front of my teacher for a lesser grade. I couldnt face her anymore, I loved her still even through the pain, I couldnt stop, I couldnt let it go. My mom would try to talk to me and get me out but mostly I just stayed home and dwelled in it. The darkness in my heart only grew as i layed in my room listening to music as I would be in and out of a dream state as I replayed the memories. I couldnt tell much from reality anymore, as far as I knew I was already in hell. I thought from time to time about how I could go find this guy and hurt him. I thought about cutting his face and making him ugly. I thought about beating him down with a bat. I was seriously going crazy and I didnt care anymore. Sometimes I wanted revenge on her, I wanted her to hurt just as much as me. I wanted to do things to her so she couldnt pain anymore, so she couldnt do what she loved. but I knew i shouldnt do any of these things and that I was just severely broken after already going through so much. I had no one to really go to, it was just me falling apart in my head. I thought about suicide so many times. I didnt see what the point of living was anymore. Her friend that I flirted with, well she started asking about everything and I would talk to her about how I felt, and shes sort of the reason I wrote out my life story. It helped get some of the pain out. The few things I wrote to do with after the relationship were these things: Me and the girl I was with for two years have finally broken up much to my dismay, it came expectedly but in a I didn’t believe it till it happened way. First year I feel like for some people isn’t to bad, everythings fresh and new, kind of learning experience, but after some time, that kind of dies down, you have to kind of work at it in whats best for the both of you. Temptations will come your way, its to be expected, sometimes you just lose the feeling, or just plain boredom. Dont make the mistake of falling in to temptation, especially if you care for who you are with, it does nothing but hurt the both of you in the end. taking antidepressants can either hurt or hinder your relationship in different ways, it can either help or hurt you when trying to have sex, it can make your personality change for the worse, or make you feel nothing for your partner. Just depends on how your body accepts it. I fell in to temptation but chose her in the end and dealt with personal pain for 3 monthes. Meds didnt work out for me, but prozac was amazing for sex. I dealt with trouble trying to get used to being off the meds and figuring out what I want. It was a big issue for a while and by the time I really knew what I wanted it was too late. Which I learned that even good people can lie and hurt you. I learned many small things and know what to look for in the future if it ever came to it, but I learned to love and accept someone for who they were despite the flaws and not a total click in personality. I was actually going to propose after feeling this, cause I loved before, but this was something different, its like I let go of my self completely and it was just a constant flow of happy and love and want to do anything and change if need be, it was the most extreme feeling ever, it was like how i felt the first year, but, way deeper and meaningful, like i knew for sure this is who I wanted to be with. Next thing of course is if you ever see your partner acting a little strange, find out why as soon as possible. One of the worst feelings though is heartbreak. For me, it seems to have changed me in a way, It forced me to grow up and change and to not expect things to always work out, which even now I continue to do so because I havent accepted things for what they are. Knowing friends I know love can destroy people and wreck their lives, but for others its a fresh start, a new beginning, or just a learning experience. Sometimes you need to let go of that certain someone to let them figure out what they want, it may or may not work out for you in the end, but sticking together wont make things better in all cases. I personally hurt like hell at a constant rate and it comes and goes, i’m trying to be supportive, but it hurts knowing where my heart is and the hope of her realizing that things arent always better on the other side of things..All I can do is wait and see what happens but on the other end of things I’ll have to keep on the look out of other people, but I dont believe that things will ever be like it was with her… so I wear your clothes when I miss you the most everywhere I go I see your ghost, what should I do, what should I do? I was on cloud 9 till you let me fall now i’m just trying to put my feet on the ground, but your voice is the only sound. How can we be friends when your loving him? Don’t you feel like you committed the biggest sin? In the end, what should I do, what should I do? You’re still everything my heart desires, and every day my body feels like its on fire, The only thing that cools me down are the tears that fall from my face and to the ground. What should I do, what should I do when i’m missing you? I hope one day maybe you’ll see that i’m the one that you can believe, but right now thats all I can do is wait for you. Do you remember how it felt to want to kiss me at the park? Do you remember the first time you wanted to hold me close, do you remember those urges you held inside until one day I finally decided? Do you remember our first date and the kiss that followed? The sheetz run and talking with my mom before we let you go? Do you remember how it felt when everyone asked if were together, that we looked so good for each other? Do you remember the storys we used to share while I played with your hair? Do you remember the days at the park were we started to bond, one of our first pictures there was under the sun. Do you remember getting high and feeling so great, and all the damn pizza that we ate? Do you remember when you didnt know how to kiss, and I showed you how to do it just like this? Do you remember how we spent every day after school together, no matter what work we had or the weather? Do you remember how I could never decide which side I wanted to hold your hand and sit with you during movies? Do you remember when I asked if you were ok with this, before I put my hand in your shirt and felt your chest. Do you remember the heat of your face when repeatedly you had my lips to taste? Do you remember the first time we “touched” and we were so scared? I made sure that you knew that I cared. Do you remember prom and what I wanted it to be? it ended up perfect dont you see? Do you remember how we danced the night away, and the breaths in my chest seemed to never stay. Do you remember my eyes as you looked in to them, as we experienced the moment that I put myself in? Do you remember the feeling of things being more perfect than they’d ever been? Do you remember the sensation you felt that night, us being one while I was inside. Do you remember the weekends that i’d come around, even in the snow from my house to yours? Do you remember the passion that we shared, from the stairs to your bed, over and over again? Do you remember how happy you were and how you couldnt get enough, before we knew it, we were truly in love? I remember it all and will continue to, I will remember how you would say I luff you. I will remember how you would tell me to pick you up and hold, how I would kiss your face, almost every day. I will remember the hard times we pushed through, and the cold days i’d work to get a present for you. I remember the talks we’d have, and the scary moments we pulled together through. What I know is i’ll continue to miss and love you and thats one thing that is true, I know its true love cause I still want to be with you. I love you and I’m thinking about you constantly, i’m sorry I cant talk to much right now, but words cant touch what i’m going through. Trust me i’d do anything to be with you. 12:43am I didnt want anything with her friend, but I needed someone to get me through the pain. Tompkins and I started hanging out with more and more, and we’d go on all those long walks I told you about, well on those walks i’d tell him about my entire life, and I started talking to him about what I was going through, we got closer and closer over time and he started becoming my best friend. It still didnt wipe away the pain. I started smoking pot from my usual once a week to every single day. I’d go to my friendsansons  and smoke with my friends heavily. i’m talking 2 or more blunts a day. I just wanted to escape my hellish world, and since that next semester started I only took 2 classes instead of 5 because my depression was so heavy and bad I couldnt do more than that. well I had all this free time so i’d spent lots of time getting completely fucked up all the time. I just couldnt handle the pain.  Well I later decided to take shrooms, and it wasnt a high amount, so i just felt sorta confused coming up, and it hit me in waves and i just felt really high with a euphoria, but no visuals really. I tried acid and it was a low dose to, and i barely felt much, it just felt like every time id go in to a different room my mind would change, but it was wayyy weaker than stuff i’ve taken. I did dmt 2 more times and just partied a lot, i really just stopped caring about anything anymore, i’d pretty much given up on myself. I took all kinds of risks all the time, i just felt manic depressive, i had just run wild. I drove high, I went caving, I went on rides, I did all this stupid shit that could have killed me or sent me to jail. Nothing seemed to be changing to much other than Moo Moo and Lukas were official and they were only getting closer, it had been a few months now, closing in to summer, and the pain was still there, I still loved her and was also hating her at the same time. I dont know why I couldnt let go but even my mom noticed that I still couldnt. Well I had talked to a lot of girls but they were all horrible, and not to mention you sorta just compare everyone to that first love it felt like. finally dylans and smith, who were dating got their friend Crazy to come over. well, we started talking, but she was really weird. I couldnt quite feel attracted to her even though she was nice and filled my lonliness a bit. we made out and stuff but she would let me fool around with her, or even touch her back which was weird. finally i let her go cause i just didnt like her. well finally the summer came and i started talking to this redhead clark. I finally felt like i’d met a good girl and we went for coffee and talked for a while. I also started working at ollies finally, which was really hard cause i had to work night shift every night. it was pure labor and it was hell. I hated it so much and i never had a life, and i slept all day, worked all night, and got fucked up when I could to escape. over that summer I was mostly sober due to working and everything i had been trying to escape from for so long was just flooding back in, like i had barely been a month away from the break up. I’d go in to the bathroom having panic attacks and cry, i really thought i was going crazy. not only that but the stuff with drake would haunt me over and over. I know i had asked for help, but the only counselor i was able to see was a preacher and i wasnt opening up to them. The pure hell and pain I kept suffering no one should ever have felt, but i couldnt escape it, and i had grown so far used to getting fucked up off anything i could all the time. I kinda felt when i’d smoke i was more creative so I wrote more, I made a tumblr as an escape. It felt like my writing meant something and people liked it and followed it and commented on it. The more I stayed in this drug and pain world the more i distanced myself from reality and human interaction. I didnt feel like I knew how to talk to people anymore, I distrusted people because of her, and drake, and I hated to be around people. Well the girl Clark didnt want me so my heart was just hurt again. it seemed no one wanted to be with me no matter how many people I looked for love in. Me and big boobs were also becoming closer friends and she told me that her and lukas were apparently having sex now, which she told me she never would when they first were together. I felt sick, I felt like she had finally crossed the line of no return with me. As I drove home I wanted to throw up, I imagined them fucking each other, it hurt so much, i felt betrayed, like that was our thing that we shared together and she ruined the purity of what we shared. I wanted to run my car in to whatever i could, but I went home and cried myself to sleep. I felt no more love after that. just bitterness. So I got drunk and talked to an ex and drove to her house and fucked her. I didnt feel anything for her, i just fucked her and left. I didnt talk to her for a week, but she asked and I told her I cared for her as a friend but i didnt feel anything but i’d still do that with her, and she i feel like actually cared, but she was lonely to so she was ok with that, so I came by just one more time to do that. For some reason being she was the second person I had sex with it made me feel horribly guilty. In some sense I felt like I betrayed Moo Moo even though I was done with that in my head 12:58am I was told about having a court date in the future where i’d finally have to testify against drake about what he did to me, im sorta lost and confused on when all this happened so im piecing it together and how I feel like it was. I finally became friend with Ohl. well, over the summer we sorta both were going through the same painful feelings of a first love break up, for him it had been over a year and he was still going through it. for me it had been about 6 monthes. we connected on what that was like for us. we’d drink and share music and he’d play guitar, play games with me, play pokemon and smash bros. he started coming over a lot and staying the night. I had finally found someone who understood and I could connect with after so much hell. We started hiking all the time, we’d do crazy adventurous things, we camped once, he stole a bunch of cigs, we took ecstasy twice together, we drove drunk once, we’d go to hookah really fucked up a few times, we were a team who matched really well but probably were the worst things for each other in a sense, we both just didnt care cause of the pain we were in. Well, this is also another secret i really havent told anyone, but I had a 3 some with him an this lady who was married. we both had planned on it for a month and got high and finally did, it was really awkward, but a huge thrill. Finally we met jones, that girl u met at the art show whos dating james, well me and her started talking and hanging out at the college a lot, well, she sorta led me on some, and i got Ohl talking to her friend robin. we would go to guys and dolls which my god was redneck and ghetto trash central, and i almost got in a fight there. well we played pool and went out on the town a few times. We also smoked pot with the owner of guys and dolls. well one day we stayed the night at her house and stayed up all night, i drove so deleriously to school that i almost wrecked. well My bro started dating Hope. they had dated like 2 or 3 days, and my mom let her stay the night, well me and Ohl got really drunk and ate mcdonalds and tried to get people to come over, well they didnt, so we asked lauren and robin to come over. well they finally did, they only had a few shots and Jones took her clothes off and was walking around my house naked, well we took her downstairs cause my dad was coming home. my bro and Hope were upstairs just cuddling, and i had met her earlier, well Jones jumped on me and started taking my clothes off and wanted to have a 3 some, but then she was like i have to tell u something, i fucked some guy before i came over. well, that hurt, a lot, i really liked Jones and i had been getting close to her and it made me mad. well i finally just agreed to a 3some cause after that i wasnt going to talk to her anymore. well she got naked, but she wouldnt let me or Sanson fuck her, she made daniel go upstairs and so me and Sanson fingered her, well, she liked when i did it better and said she i was really good at it, derrik not so much, well she jerked us off and in the middle of it we could hear my dad come in. well Ohl and robin were naked on the couch, but my dad was so wasted he fell asleep upstairs. 1:04am Well robin and Ohl started fucking in my bathroom and she was moaning so obnoxiously and fakely loud we started laughing downstairs. My sister knocked on the door asking to use tha bathroom, and she knew they were fucking. well we all laughed about it later and we all fell asleep. after that i made Jones leave the next day and never talked to her again. i was really hurt and just so sick of girls. well me and ohl and my friend Christian hung out alot and got drunk at my house a lot and played games and all got close. after a while wound up talking to my ex Mexico and she was all like im done with this shitty guy blah blah, but then he found out i was trying to get back with her and made that stop, and then she just disappeared. well my brother and Hope had broke up so i asked if it was ok if i talked to her cause i was attracted to her and it didnt go anywhere with them and he said sure, so i started talking to her and we sorta clicked in some ways because she was wanting all the same things as me and we were both lonely and stuff. well. thats a story for another night I feel like i’ve left enough for you.

[rqs902]

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this became just a random summary of my thoughts on mainly yu gengyin (with other kids sprinkled in lol) throughout various episodes of season 2, which may or may not be presented in any sort of logical flow or order, just a warning.... 

i feel like yu gengyin is normally a calm boy, pretty direct, but keeps his composure. but this pose right here, i can relate to his contempt for zhou wen HAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHA HES SO DONE HAHHAHAHA

i havent even started the episode yet but i saw they’re gonna perform exo’s wolf and just started LAUGHING HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA I NEVER HTGOUHT HAHAHH NOT THIS SONG HAHHAHAHHAHA

tbh im totally ok with leo not choosing ygy HAHAHAHAHHAHA no offense to him, but he’s not very good at playing the super idol game, so hopefully ygy can shine stronger elsewhere. i feel like this show doesnt show him enough appreciation yet. 

HAHAHAHAH YGY IN THE SAME GROUP AS CXK YES IM THRIVINGGG 

suddenly leo’s team got very strong lol 

but pyj hating hd still lol.... but its ok they have wmt even tho they got a bunch of new kids and the most useless new kid lol.....

i was just complaining about lack of ygy but suddenly there are more flashes to ygy on screen lol... amazing... but he does look really nice in this color

WHEN YGY GOT NOMINATED TO BE ELIMINATED MY HEART BROKE 

but tbh for the remainder of the ep i more worried about freaking wumuti looking like he was freaking dying gosh he shouldve gone to rest or something, they really didnt need him to keep standing there after he finished performing. freaking muti pulled off an amazing performance despite his condition and as soon as he exited that stage persona, he literally looked like he was so weak and so pale i was like oh gosh let the boy rest!!! ugh but yea i refuse to believe / am in denial that ygy may possibly get eliminated so i am refusing to think about it LOL. anyway now on ep 6 they literally keep giving him screentime. zfz literally saying the purpose of this mission is to “save ygy” and cxk talking about giving ygy a special role in their perf so he can shine ;_; i love friendship 

but im not complaining about extra ygy time ehehehheh he looks like a prince for this stage and i love how he’s still smiling brightly throughout the ep and when aya brought up his status of being nominated for elims he was like ‘can you not say it out loud” and it was jokingly and he was smiling but the downward motion he made with his hands, i was like ah he is trying not to cry?

its interesting bc im almost grateful at least now ygy will get some more attention

wow look how stylish wu muti was in 2016 

oof watching ep 7 was painful..... it felt like an ultimate low for gengyin, and even tho we all teared up when zfz was eliminated.... it kinda made sense when he was talking about the colors and how he liked his own color so maybe hes just not meant to be in a boy band and i can agree... ahhhh side note fangzhou and yifan’s friendship ahhhh it makes so much sense why they’re still so close today.... even tho im still SO MAD that deng qiang is still here and fangzhou had to leave.... episode 8 was really FINALLY the break that this team as a whole really needed and im SO HAPPY and relieved for them 

this entire season has felt like a low for gengyin, like torture for him, and he really hasn’t gotten a break to shine or to feel success and i feel like to be in that kind of a slump for like 2 months??? thats so sad... and im sure that takes a toll on your mental health. but despite it all, despite being passed up for getting chosen for the special stage, he still was rooting for daidai so cutely like the way he used a silly voice to chant “戴隊戴隊” and so wholeheartedly exclaimed “戴戴太感人了~ 媽呀! 唱得快撕裂了你知道嗎’ I mean, honestly he could’ve easily and understandably felt salty that daidai got that opportunity (even tho we all know gengyin has more vocal ability), but he didn’t. it felt like he truly and fully supported his friend and teammate and that already had my heart going oof 

BUT THEN. then watching their practice footage and just watching him regain his confidence and then finally FINALLLYY perform like he was truly enjoying being on stage. after 8 freaking episodes, FINALLY its yu gengyin’s time to shine and i am THRIVING!!! ahhhhhhhhhh i literally stopped after their team’s perf to just absorb all the amazing things they said about him, about his vocals and high notes, and about his dancing improving, and about his rapping being so next level for him, and about his stage presence being the best hes been yet. and the comment the teacher made about how yu gengyin’s personality is just so nice and 善良 that he has had difficulty portraying a powerful stage presence and today he finally saw it, and i think he was just so perfect, im so proud and so happy!!!!!! and wow this stage is everything to me. cxk’s stage presence is already so strong (and btw i loved how kunkun so confidently said “ygy is our main vocal. he will no doubt stand on stage very confidently and perform well” -- i LOVE how much faith cxk has in gengyin, despite all the setbacks gengyin’s faced recently) and the choreo - they made it work for them and you could see them work together and i loved the way liu ye just literally SAW gengyin’s confidence. he saw how gengyin was just somehow so handsome on this stage and i think that says a lot about how much someone’s mental state can truly impact their performance. it hurt my heart to hear ygy describing being at risk for elimination for the past 3 weeks as feeling like he was physically weighed down by the immense pressure. he just seemed so tired, but at least within the last 2 eps the show has taken the time to really highlight how gengyin’s been practicing late at night alone, trying not to let down his team mates and really trying to improve himself. (ugh the fact that he had been practicing his high notes secretly all this time but never got to show it until he broke his voice...) But yes, i literally just watched their team’s performance and paused to type this all out and now im gonna go back and watch their whole segment again, because i love seeing yu gengyin’s transformation and this confident side of him. how can you not love his smile (and the way that they captioned this as "yu gengyin’s signature smile” :’)

man ep 8 is like THE time to be a ygy stan bc hes literally thriving and shining and getting all this screen time and attention and its so well-deserved and ive just been waiting 8 eps but we’re finally here :’) and yes its now official that ygy is my bias on this show i cant turn back now hahHHAHAHHA ive invested too many emotions into this child and you best bet i just changed my phone lock screen to also be ygy HAHHAHAHA its actually the top photo from the pic i just pasted above, bc this performance, that SMILE is EVERYTHING 

but also on a darker note, the whole conflict between wu muti and huadi is making me uncomfortable.... honestly i feel bad that ive been hoping their team loses but thats mainly just bc i need deng qiang to get eliminated which would require their team to lose LOL but also this whole thing between muti and huadi is getting out of control and their tempers are p concerning... like tbh we all know huadi has a temper but like muti is firey too and he’s like at a point where he just keeps yelling and being rude so im like theyre both just being rude to each other and its to the point where its starting to affect their team work... oh noo. sigh... from the beginning i thought huadi and muti’s dance styles were so different that they may clash bc theyre both going to try to lead dance practice, but this is way worse, this is their personalities clashing and its much scarier than i expected. 

also poor pinlin... man he like got super shafted during the first season imo and now he has to leave season 2 bc of his super serious injury.... ugh seeing his tears of frustration hurt my heart... he has so much talent and deserves more opportunity to show it :( but man his waist injury sounds so bad. the main bright side to all this is zuo qibo getting peer pressured into stepping up as a main vocal and really improving and getting some time to shine too. in season 1, back from when muti was like ‘noo i dont wanna be compared to qibo, hes a good singer’ until now, i dont think we’ve reaaalllyyy gotten too much of an opportunity to appreciate qibo’s vocal abilities because hes not had too much exposure and hes been overshadowed by the kids who have already established their strong vocal abilities. im scared hes under a lot of pressure now, as their leader and main vocal, but im glad hes been doing so well so far, good for him :’) im looking forward to seeing him improve and get more appreciation. i remember he was one of the most popular kids at the end of season 1 (along with cxk and wmt i think?) so i want to believe that he can live up to it. also this is random, but his visuals are really growing on me, like i can see him as a visual now and i think he looked really good this ep!!! to me visuals are cxk wmt zqb djy and maybe also hyf zpl yeeaaaaaaa but i mean ill say again, i just love ygy’s smile :’) 

#rants #dont mind me while i wallow in an emotional roller coaster watching a show from 2016 lol