#anyway even if it wasnt intentional acts of sabotage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jupiterjunebug · 5 years

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heyyyyyy you said to ask you bout them hcs about the councils war crimes.... and this is me..... asking away.... blease give me the hcs.... blease...

i was going to write like 200 words but here I am. here i am with a 1.5k word fuckin. Essay with multiple citations. Under cut because I Apologize For Being Like This.

Alright buckle in motherfuckers it’s time for my long andprobably fuckin’ stupid waxing poetic abt the political ramifications ofsylvains current…everything.

“But the worse that things got in Sylvain, because of thehumans, the stricter their laws got. And today they got some pretty draconianlaws in effect governing who can and can’t live there. And the outcasts, wellthey don’t really got anywhere to go.” That’s Mama, in the third episode ofAmnesty, talking about how sylphs ended up at Amnesty in the first place.

We never get an answer as to what EXACTLY “draconian” means. @transagentstern theorizes it’s in the form of a one child policy (hence whydani’s on earth, she has a brother), someone else said it might be a form ofsubspecies racism, my person hc both joking and serious is everyone got ousted forshit like jaywalking and littering. Either way, we’re first introduced to thelaws of sylvain as “they’ll take any opportunity to throw someone off the boatif it means it sinks slower.”

Then we meet Janelle and Vincent, who are NICE, and we meetwoodbridge who’s an ass, and we meet Alexandra who thinks Aubrey should go die.Woodbridge and Alexandra both Don’t Like Humans, but Woodbridge is so goddamnforgettable I deadass forgot he was a character until I started reading ficwhere he got brought up, and Alexandra’s the “im eleven so shut the fuck up”meme and also never onscreen.

The ones onscreen are Janelle and Vincent! Who are nice!Janelle mentor-figures Aubrey despite not having time, and Vincent asks forDVDs of human shut cuz he likes them, and it’s all good. It’s all jokes.

They’ve got some pretty draconian laws in effect.

It would be easy to blame all those laws on Woodbridge, whohates humans, and whose title as “Minister of Preservation” could be taken as“guy in charge of this awful triage situation.” You could blame it on Alexandraor the past Interpreters, and say that whatever they’re interpreting boileddown to “tell all the people that snowboard without a license that they have toleave.” You could say that “today” doesn’t mean they passed the WORST of thelaws recently, but that 200 years ago the laws were shit and they just got MOREshit recently (I do say this, actually, more on that later). That would meanit’s not even the current ministers faults! I mean, except maybeeee Woodbridge cuzhe’s a ghost and his “business” to finish before passing on might deadass besitting at sylvains sickbed until it dies or a miracle cure comes in.

Even if they didn’t make all the laws, even if they didn’tmake ANY of the laws, they still enforce them. Vincent might have a good funconvo with Aubrey about Shrek, but he and Woodbridge and the Interpreter andHell probably Indrid when he was around to some degree, and Janelle who isn’tblameless even if she was too busy reading her books to really pay attention atthe trials. They all still enforce them.

Like I said, this is an awful triage situation. It’s hard,living on a planet that’s in its death throes. They have to do something to keep people alive as longas possible, even if they AND all of the people on sylvain KNOW that it’sfutile you can’t just give up. But, you know, establishing a dictatorship whereyou can get exiled for reasons Mama considers “draconian,” well that’s. That’skinda. It’s not QUITE a war crime, and I’m not sure how else they would’vesolved the issue, but that’s the backdrop of this situation. Sure, Janelle andVincent are nice, but they or one of vincent’s subordinates were probablypersonally responsible for jake coolice getting ousted from sylvain, or atleast they didn’t stop woodbridge from doing it.

OK so step one is “we’re kicking half of our population out,we need to do this, this is the lesser of two evils.” Step two is “where do wesend them?”

The only option other than Earth or execution that I canthink of would be The Corrupted Lands. Now, kneejerk reaction is Earth soundscomparatively awesome for the exiles, yeah? Death is death, and The CorruptedLands would be WORSE than death cuz you end up infected with the Quell and allthat junk. At least on Earth you don’t end up, like, losing your entirepersonality and goi-

Barclay: Anotherday or so and we’re gonna start losing the stuff that we know and love aboutour friends Dani and Jake and Moira and the whole team here. So, as quick aspossible would be better.

Ned: What do youmean “losing stuff”? Are they gonna start dyin’!?

Barclay:Eventually, but before that happens they’re gonna start going a little bit…well, I guess, feral is the word.

Wow thanks for that reminder, this convo from Amnesty ep. 10that just started playing in the room all by itself. That’s right! Sylphs thatdon’t have crystals (like Indrid does, and Barclay is shown holding in thefirst ep, and we know do SOMETHING bc Indrid’s fine and Barclay doesn’t includehimself when talking about ppl going feral. So either that or somethingsomething Indrid and Barclay aren’t sylphs that’d be a whole ‘nother hc post imstopping that here) spend days slowly losing their will to live, then becomeuncontrollably violent, and then die!

But that won’t happen and the council knows that becauseAmnesty Lodge exi-

“-And the outcasts, well they don’t really got anywhere togo.” Thanks Mama. The Lodge wasn’t built on Sylvain’s orders. Every gateprobably DOESN’T have a convenient hotspring that prevents people from losingtheir goddamn minds, because look at that phrasing. They don’t have anywhere togo. The Council had no PLAN for where the exiles would end up, and in Kepler itjust so happens somebody else decided to MAKE a plan.

Techniiiically, before Kepler all the sylphs that weren’tgiven crystals could’ve been executed or sent to the CL. But I don’t think so.And the reasons why the councilmight’ve chosen to send people to earth instead of the other two optionsdepends on your interpretation.

It could be that they didn’t like the idea of having toactually square up and kill people like big kids, so they decided to exilethem. It could be that, while the thought of someone going feral on earth mightSUCK, there’s a CHANCE exiles might stumble on someplace like Amnesty, whereasthe CL WILL make you bonkers, and not the Dr. Harris kind, 100% of the time.More pragmatically, they might’ve been worried about executed people turning upas ghosts, and people in the CL coming to attack the wall.

Or it could be, yanno. War crimes.

Woodbridge hates humans. Granted, it seems like he hateseveryone. But his introduction to the show is literally him looking at the PGand saying “Hi, yes. I ensure the survival of our kind in the wake of yourworld’s countless ruthless assaults.” Alexandra’s not fond either, as herthoughts say: “I wish [Aubrey] would stop coming here. It’s her world’s faultthat Sylvain is dying in the first place.”

How recently did they start exiling people? Was it less thanthirty years? More than thirty years? I like to think it was more. In episode6, Dani says that her type of sylph gets a bad rap because some of her kind hasdrunk peoples’ blood to get more energy. The perception that vampires drinkblood has been around……….a long time.

Sure, that idea could’ve been around during/before theassault on sylvain when some dipshit sylphs just left of their own accord andthen decided to drink people for yolos. Or it could mean that people have beenexiled for a WHILE, and the fact that the laws got more “draconian” just meansMORE people have been exiled now.

A lot of non-violent cryptid sightings happening a long timeago could be chalked down to sylph that WEREN’T exiled goin’ and doin’ stuff,but killing someone to feed smacks of desperation OR being the sort of personthat hated humans so much that the first solution to “im hungry” was “im goingto eat a person.”

Either way. Picture this. Thirty-five years ago, the gate toKepler isn’t open. The gate to NYC is open.A sylph gets pushed out of it. There’s no springs, or if there is there’s noMama to guide them there. No Mama to help them fit in. They go feral in the middle of New York, or in the middleof where the gate before New York was, or the gate before that, or the gatebefore-

You get stories about monsters like the Jersey Devil,monsters that kill midwives and children. La Llorona, who drowns little kids,might look like Dani up close.

Sylvain is dying, and they’re at the rationing stage. TheCouncil has to know what happens tosylphs that don’t eat. The Councilhas to know they’re pushing people that might try to murder and eat humans intoa populated space. The Council has to know that they’re pushing people thatmight try to murder and eat humans into a space populated by a race thatdestroyed their planet.

Killing two birds with one stone.

#taz amnesty #the adventure zone #the adventure zone: amnesty #me at fae: arrest this twelve year old for WAR CRIMES #anyway even if it wasnt intentional acts of sabotage #against a group of people they were pissed at releasing a buncha ur own ppl in a place you know might make them go on a murder spree #sure is fuckin SOMETHING

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orcelito · 2 years

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Love bitching with the assistant manager about the old manager & the new girl being 100% on board like "Oh my God," when I told her about him throwing one of the giant pots in the sink when I was working with just him Years ago

Hfksjdkhs Justified

#speculation nation #sometimes ya gotta complain about the shitty angry man #in other news today i had to have a Manager Talk with the girl who baited a new employee into quitting #apparently it was like. things were all up in the air & she was like 'if it doesnt work out dont be afraid to quit'#& the new hire took that to mean she should quit before even giving it a try #employee was all like '🥺 that wasnt my intention' like Girl #you told her all sorts of shit about the workplace (stuff we are Working on fixing) before she could come to her own conclusions #like yea u kinda did bait it lol #also her saying like 'i didnt tell anyone Anything 😐' like GIRL how do you think the supervisor knew to tell us????#she was Bragging about 'spilling the tea' to this supervisor but acts all innocent when we r like 'uh u literally sabotaged the hiring'#anyways i did feel bad being on that side of the meeting & i reassured her that so long as she doesnt do it again it'll be fine #she doesnt need to know how pissed the owner was lmao #dude was legit like 'i could Press Charges. & if she does it again i will'#like technically yeah what she did is defamation or whatever and he literally could. but also shes like 18/19 and im like #man shes making some kinda dumb decisions but she is literally a teenager. im not gonna let him press charges against a Teenager #for smth as ultimately minor as us losing a new hire b4 she could start #boss man needs to chill out sometimes i swear lmao

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dyketubbo · 3 years

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im rewatching doomsday (comps of all povs of course) and. yeah i just.. feel bad for the lmanburgians. i dont know how i could just. say these people deserved it, when they all sound, panicked and desperate and so so fucking sad. long long ramble under the cut as i recount the events and pick out a bunch of little things

even the day before then is painful. ranboos panic room. ranboo and tubbos talk (tubbo admitting that hes wrong, saying he believes that history is repeating itself and trusting ranboo because he believes in his loyalty), fundy showing the ring toss. tubbos surprise at being told to kill dream before stating that quackity would be in control if he didnt (god, did he plan to fail?). tommy being so so excited. everyone playing ring toss and cheering on jack. tommy still believing in tubbo. tubbo panicking. ranboo and tommy and techno talking, ranboo giving them info. dream placing walls and quackity instructing tubbo on where to kill dream. dream lying about the community house. the entire community house debacle. just, everything.

and then doomsday itself. having to frantically get there because it started early, tubbo only having diamond armor to protect him, fundy standing still after he sabotaged them. tubbo and ranboos genuine despair about the apiary.

tubbo eventually going nonverbal and actively putting himself in danger, not even moving away from techno at first and getting in the way of the firework launcher. tubbo trying to save tommy from the fireworks, ponks broken "dont come over here!" after she was trying to save his cat, tommys face falling and desperate attempts at convincing techno, ranboo going "its all gone", niki spiralling and silently burning down the tree, quackitys pure anger. all the death messages.

jack going "what is there left to protect", tommy brokenly trying to accept that its gone as tubbo and quackity blankly do accept it. jack going "i lost everything again". tommy desperately trying to understand dream, on the verge of tears as he asks why dream didnt just hurt him. his low health and food as hes unable to do anything anymore, his quiet gasp as he spots ghostbur, tubbos tiny shake of his head when dream says dream and tommys story wont be over.

tubbo and quackity breaking the repeaters. ghostburs "i didnt even know we were fighting". ghostbur finding out phil let friend die, hes pained "phil? but i- i gave, i gave phil to look after. and dream found me friend, and technoblade said we were friends", tommys pained talk about technoblade. "we were never his friend. to him, all of this was just an act of politics, an act of clout and a-a social ladder, and you won't remember. tubbo you will, and to you big q, this was a friendship. but to technoblade, this was a ladder. and techno climbed to the tippity talk. do you wanna know the only way you can go? on the ladder? -- and once you reach the top of the ladder tubbo, you can only go down."

quackity asking to sing the anthem again, him strumming as ghostbur sings (and tubbo and tommy joining in). ghostbur forgetting the second verse because it blew up. quackity remembering it, them stumbling through it. tommys "tubbo? im so so sorry", tubbos quiet "its okay." the four all singing together. tubbo looking at the lava with an ender pearl in his hand, tommy correcting quackity and going "our l'manburg". ghostburs speech about friend, about people not taking him seriously just because he has memory loss.

meanwhile.. phil and techno were laughing. cracking jokes. phil mocks them as he spawns withers on the apiary, going "ohhh noo not the bees!". techno shouts at tommy and shoots at him and tubbo. he kills jack and doesnt even notice that it was one of his lives lost. jacks death itself proves that it doesnt take any particular intent, doesnt have to mean anything to the killer. techno and phil were willing to kill people. it would be foolish of them to act as if there were no risks in the terms of canon lives, especially with phil. phil doesnt take ghostbur seriously, treats his despair as an opportunity to drill in a lesson. the most either of them lost was some of the dogs and used up potions, fireworks, and wither skulls

and then theres dream. dream whose been harming the l'manburgians since the beginning, who had taken tubbo hostage, offered eret a chance to betray them all, who had been the man in tommys walls and offering money to tubbo and jack to try and get them to destroy things, who tried to get tommy to kill tubbos villagers. dream, who took tommys discs over and over, who killed tommy twice in one day, who stopped caring about his friends that loved him and were so so loyal. dream, who helped schlatt and pushed wilbur deeper into his spiral, who even then tried to manipulate tommy.

dream, who helped destroy l'manburg the first and second time, who took advantage of tubbo so he could have a premeditated kidnapping of tommy. dream, who abused tommy, physically, psychologically, emotionally. dream, who degraded tubbo and had taken ranboos memory book (which btw, since ranboos memory loss counts as a mental disability with the memory book as his aid, thats dream taking the thing that aids ranboo in dealing with his disability).

dream, who had been the reason l'manburg was created. dream, who got to destroy l'manburg three times. dream won. and techno and phil dont regret it, dont care.

maybe l'manburg was never meant to be. and sure, it started with stealing and an attempt to monopolize on potions but. that wasnt even l'manburg then, was it? it was just wilbur and tommy having fun. l'manburg came after. after the police hurt them. l'manburg started as a silly little revolution, led by a naïve man who thought he could win wars by saying no. it was a place for a family, a place for them to escape from dream. it was a place to try and escape the harm of those outside the walls. it was meant to be safe, even if those against them made it hard to be. it was made from love. it was meant to be happy. it was a symphony, however unfinished.

so. i don't know. i just feel, bad. they never really won, did they? tragedy after tragedy, death after death, destruction after destruction, betrayal after betrayal, hurt after hurt. and now what's left of them, really? out of the founders, erets doing the best and even shes doing awful, forever trying to make up for what he did. tubbos paranoia led him to developing nukes in a desperate attempt to stay safe, because he was taught to stay quiet and keep his emotions to himself, because his death was "justified", because nukes and walls and weapons are the only way he can feel safe anymore.

tommy went through months of abuse, lost all of his lives and suffered upon coming back, suicidal but unable to bring himself to do it because limbo is worse, feeling lost and like he has no family anymore other than wilbur, who he knows is hurting him but cant bring himself to leave, who loved lmanburg so so dearly and only wanted a home, still doesnt have one (tommy from everywhere, tommy from nowhere at all). niki who loved lmanburg and wilbur so much that it hollowed her out and made her bitter and shes so used to being spoken over that all she can think to do is raise her voice and get pissed, who cant see wilbur as a good person anymore because shes hurt and hasnt truly recovered and she doesnt know how to cope without being angry.

jack manifold feels forgotten, hes lost all his lives and crawled out of hell and no one truly noticed, he doesnt even believe that niki really cares, hes desperate and has made his purpose to be spiteful and angry because he cant deal with the emptiness that comes when he realizes theres no point. fundys desperate to have friends, family, a partner, anyone thatll love him, anyone thatll keep him safe, slowly killing himself with cigarettes and disowned because of giving too little too late, because he was too little too late.

and wilburs lost himself. spiraling, paranoid. a young, naïve man who wanted to fight swords with words, who wanted to impress his father, who wanted a nation of his own to feel safe, who was so effected by erets betrayal that he cant trust anyone but himself, whose possessive nature eats him from the inside out, desperate for control and unable to let go of the only person he knows loves him unconditionally

all because outside forces kept pushing, kept destroying, kept ruining them and hurting them and traumatizing them and taking away their homes and pets and loved ones. and i just. cant feel happy for the ones that hurt them, i cant feel victorius, triumphant, any of that. i just feel bad that the l'manburgians never got to be a family. i know they arent the best people but shit, i love them anyways, love them because theyre flawed and because theyre *people*, people who tried so so hard and got pushed so so much and. fuck, i cant be happy that the people who loved nature and play fought and laughed by campfires and read poetry and re-enacted theatre and loved each other and wanted to *live* (even if they were willing to die, if it meant giving everyone else a chance).. lost. they lost.

canonical years of work down the drain in one day. records of history gone, now only remembered in full by a traumatized teenager who was taught not to talk about his negative emotions, and even he misremembers some parts. they didnt even lose fairly. they had no chance. they couldnt have prepared for withers, for tnt rain, for the hounds. they were poor, weaker than their opponents, sabotaged by one of their own. thats.. tragic.

doomsday was a tragedy. i cant agree that it was deserved. i cant agree that they had it coming, that they deserved to lose homes and pets and limbs and lives and land because they werent the greatest people around.

a small country of less than 10 people (at both creation and destruction) now a giant crater in the ground, remnants of a parisitic egg taking over the land. and it wasnt even lost fairly. three people were stronger than an entire nation, even with all of its allies. two anarchists working with an abusive tyrant. so, no. doomsday wasnt deserved. people dont deserve tragedy. there were better ways, i truly cant be happy that the way chosen was violence. i cant.

l'manburg's citizens deserved better. they really did. the ends dont justify the means. and god, am i fucking tired of "justice". if justice means choosing violence over love and respect and caring about those less strong than you, i dont wanna hear about it. fuck that man, id rather love and be loved than constantly give a shit about making up for hurting others by getting hurt, thats stupid and cruel and i cant see it as okay on a moral level. not when the people that got hurt deserved to be loved and cared about and protected and *talked to* instead of constantly shot down.

of course for the narrative i can enjoy violence and characters getting hurt and i do like how "real" it all is, the despair and dissonance in tone and how terrifyingly messy it all is. out of story perspective- honestly rather cool even if it makes me feel bad. in story perspective- holy fucking shit no that wasnt deserved and god i hope everyone hurt will be able to heal and learn to love and be loved again because thats such a terrifying thing to go through. from a detached pov i can appreciate the insight into everyone involved and i like the plotlines that came from it, but from a compassionate pov i just wish the l'manburgians were allowed to be happy and treated as equals so they didnt have to go through all of this

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mightyjensblog · 6 years

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Why rose/pink is justified.(and why its still interesting)

Now this may be a controversial opinion but its one I have anyway. A lot of people are either saying she was a cold hearted bitch OR that she was well meaning but still very flawed not good or evil.

I don't think she was either. I think she was just a good person with some flaws(like her condescending attitude towards Greg) but was mostly forced to do things she didn't want to. Now for the argument ahead

She started a war and got thousands corrupted or shattered!

Yes she did start a war. No she didn't get them shattered or corrupted. Its established she more or less HAD to start the war to save the earth. There were no other options. She tried to talk the diamonds out of it, she tried to sabotage the production and so on and so forth. It was only til it was made clear she had no other options. Also when it came to her strategy many people say it was stupid of her. Reason being that, even if the diamonds didn't love her they still would not tolerate a threat against the empire, Buuuuttt. Lets analyze this a bit further.

She tried to scare homeworld off earth but every time she failed. The diamonds didn't seem to care about the rebel threat and just told her to suck it up. To her this didn't just make her think they didn't love her it made her think they were not concerned with her safety.

She left it all on steven!

Okay first of all this was already debunked. But to Elaberate on further why this is wrong, how was she supposed to know homeworld would return literal EONS after they had last been seen?

Bismuth!

Now I had issues with this episode from a meta standpoint(such as the unintentional racial implications) but her keeping bismuth bubbled was for the best. And if she was told the others it could cause some people to AGREE with her

She lied!

Many say that she should have led the rebellion as pink instead of disguising herself. But here's the thing. If they did not only would she not have alot of support becuase those designed to be loyal to pink were, above all supposed to be loyal to homeworld so they wouldn't follow her. And she wanted to give the crystal gems an idea. An idea to rise against the diamonds and be themselves. This would be very hard, if not outright impossible to do as another diamond. Also her putting the spell on pearl was done to avoid having to look back. And didnt know the consequences would be so bleak.

Well intentioned but not good.

Many people say that she was neither good nor evil. That she represents a figure that was built to be perfect but revealed to be just as flawed as the rest of us. But I've debunked alot of those "flaws" here. While it is true she didn't know the full consequences. That isn't really out of immaturity as it is simply not being able to tell the future. With all the facts given too her the plan seamt full proof. Its only Because of things out of her control it all failed.

Why is this still interesting?

If rose was really the great person I'm building her up to be, then what's the point. It is just boring and out of place for a show that demonstrated that there's no "perfect" person

I'm not saying she was perfect she could act a bit condescending towards Greg for one. And the reason its still interesting is becuase well...lets go back a bit.

The reason alot of people were upset at the reveal is that it to them having it be that rose DIDN'T shatter pink it ruined the arc of steven admitting his mother wasnt perfect and overcomethe guilt he feels over her wrongdoings.

But, this may be personal opinion but I never really interpreted the arc that way. I always interpreted the arc instead as, Steven learning not learning that his mother did bad stuff, but that she HAD to do bad stuff. The Aesop was that sometimes good people...even the best people like rose had to do stuff she wasn't comfortable with and that was just the nature of war. Steven refused to learn this just thinking that his mothers killing was simply an act of violence that needed to be punished. His borderline obsession with that belief caused him to refuse to go back to earth so he could face punishment on homeworld. The new arc dosent really change this. Pink still had no choice but to start the war and lie. With alot of Grey characters while there sympathetic its not really "challenging" for example you can sympathise with alot of grey characters but still say that if you were in his or her scenario you would do things differently. With pink there's really nothing she COULD do Wich makes you wonder what you would do in her shoes. It creates the unique and realistic lesson that sometimes there is no "best option" there's just Wich option seems the best at the time.

In fact if you want a flawed but well intentioned character just go to steven himself. He means well but his borderline OBSESSSION with being a pacifist. As well as his somewhat condescending attitude towards moral ambiguity itself make him a very grey characters in my opinion.

So tell me what you guys think about the whole thing as I enjoy debates. See ya later.

(Also could someone please show this to The YouTube Uncivilized Elk I would love to hear his thoughts here)

#steven universe #pink diamond #now were only falling apart #su pearl #rose quartz

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citrus-feline · 6 years

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ddlc spoiler talk under cut

self harm warning. i bring this up a bit in this jumble of speculations

why didnt monika use all the shit she knew to try to fix everyone’s issues instead of amplifying them? i get it that she thought it was unfair that she wasnt even an option and so she tried to sabotage the other girls in order to MAKE herself an option, but imagine what she could have done to benefit everyone instead of just herself?

if monika wasn’t so selfish she could have made things a lot happier, i think. because she knew about what the other girls were going through. sayori’s depression, natsuki’s abuse, yuri’s anxiety ( / self harm? its hard to say if she actually did that stuff before monika started interfering. if so it obviously got worse. it seems like monika couldn’t fabricate entirely new things very well so she opted to making people’s problems worse, which makes it an interesting this to consider that perhaps she did originally do that, maybe she was recovering, or maybe she just had self-harm tendencies and monika played with that)

i wonder what would’ve happened if monika toned their problems down instead of made them worse (or maybe she could only play with their methods of coping? i dunno. it’s hard to say w someone like natsuki who experiences abuse from a person who isn’t really accounted for in the actual game).

sayori’s coping was actually pretty good in the beginning. it’s implied that she had been dealing with her depression for a long time and usually knew what to do with it, it’s just that it started to bother her more when the person she cared about more than anyone else started looking somewhere else. but... sayori’s coping got worse when monika started talking to her about it. maybe at first her intention was to change things in a lot more of a quieter way than what she eventually ended with.

but in some of the game files you can look into what monika says at trying to change stuff. she expresses some kind of confusion or frustration at it, and just decides it would be easier if she deleted everything and filled the gaps with half-hearted stuff (including all that gibberish). what did monika expect to happen with the way she started doing things? did she expect to make stuff happen more naturally so sayori kills herself at seemingly her own will (which, all things considered, she actually did that pretty well), yuri to kill herself from heartbreak / a feeling of worthlessness, and natsuki’s abuse gets so bad that she ends it for herself too (or maybe even gets killed at home or even from starvation)?? what was she going to do to streamline the deaths of the other girls? because the way i put it makes it all seem so weird sounding. maybe that’s what monika realized. she realized it wouldn’t seem natural and she decided it would just be easier to get them out of the way.

i wish monika would have thought about everyone being happy instead of making everything awful for her own gain. she could have, theoretically, made everyone’s coping better instead of worse. sayori would never had killed herself (which i really believed only happened because of monika’s interactions with her, even in the first “act”). monika obviously needs to be there or things will just end early, because if you start the game with monika’s file deleted right off the bat, sayori learns about how everything works and it’s too much for her (lets be fair, if that all happened to me at once, i’d probably react the same way...). could, monika, theoretically made her OWN coping better? or would it be ineffective because she’s self aware? she obviously had a very solid handle on knowing everything she did, and yet her “coping” for that knowledge was obviously not ideal. what if she, yknow, was okay with that knowledge? she says and acts like she was, but she really wasn’t. perhaps it’s monika’s own selfishness and self-entitled tendencies that made her do what she did. she was angry and wanted to make herself included, instead of, yknow, making everyone happy?

i wonder what monika would think knowing that the game ends so early when she’s deleted right off the bat? would that change her view or enforce it? i kind of doubt she would know exactly what would happen in that case, but of course, she could assume with all she knew. with sayori killing herself that early, the club loses any potential to be an actual club from too few people, which means that yuri (would would be the next in line for president), would never learn about the world they live in, right? the literature club itself is “cursed” with this knowledge. why, who fuckin knows, but the president of the literature club knows what goes on behind the scenes, no matter if they want to or not.

monika simply would have added her own route if she could have, at least i like to THINK that (i don’t believe she’s pure evil, she is just obsessive and self-entitled, which combined can lead to the disaster she made when she is given the power to manipulate). monika obviously isnt a GOOD person, and im in no way saying she is. its actually really frustrating the way she does things. she puts herself above everyone else, and not being included in the beginning isn’t enough to justify that.

anyways, im just saying. i wish monika was like.......... not so selfish...........?? right off the bat i really just could feel bad vibes from her, without really even noticing most of the foreshadowing. she seemed like. so stuck up and boring. couldn’t she just have made herself more interesting? like i get it she can’t ADD an entire route for herself but like...... she seemingly could change what she said, at least for a few lines. she could change other girl’s lines, to an extent... why not just make herself more appealing. make her seem more important. she couldn’t add her own route, but she could make the player want to interact with her.

#ddlc spoilers//#self harm//

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watersuncharted · 5 years

Text

so i guess as a review of this semester...

what the hell happened? im so confused.

lets talk about the fact that we came in and decided that this would be lax semester. we came in thinking that rush would be the most stressful part of the semester, lol

little did we know that the same time would bring an a cappella audition, a cabin trip, and all hell breaking loose.

then, we come into the year and we are doing the most. it was so good. you did so much blessy. you met so many people you would not have normally. you got close to people you never would have thought you would have. you experienced so much shit that you never would have if this semester wasnt THIS SEMESTER.

im proud of you.

but youre also a fucking idiot lol

i think its time to think about him. its time to actually talk it out within yourself. just you, it's fine to say everything that you were scared to say, things you were terrified of doing, stuff that you weren't ready to admit to yourself. its time.

so you met eric, november. cute, charming, christian engineer. and you somehow got on that boat. really fast.

“i see it, i like it, i want it, i got it”

that kind of sums it up. fast forward to january. you drink! you're ballsy! hes in love with the ex. he couldn't give you what you wanted. you talked about it, and honestly, you weren't mad. you talked for a little... but you knew for a fact that was over and that you weren't meant to be. you ghosted him.

at the same time, you meet neb. “what a classic indian douche”. boy, were you wrong.

you didnt want to like him. you didnt like him, actually. you flirted--thats for certain. not really sure why. you did it in involuntarily at first. no red flags really. you talked, you texted. you opened up. it was a classic José situation. you felt close to him. he wanted to get to know you. he didnt make moves.

then he did, he put pressure on the relationship from the day he texted you that. you told him off. you said you just wanted to be friends. and honestly, im proud of you for that. but, you kept talking like it was nothing. because it was supposed to be nothing. you went to coffee, you knew you didnt like him. you knew that he wasnt for you.

fast forward a month.

unofficial. i dont know why you thought it was okay to say you wanted to see him and hangout with him and i dont know why you did this, or why you didnt think that he was thinking that it was anything different between you and him. at this point you are a classic fuckboy leading him on. and you wanted to see him. you did! you left your friends, made up an excuse in your head, and you wanted to see him. the pics legitimately said it all. but, you played it off otherwise. he came and sat by you, super close. you were stressed about it. he tried to show off for you so many times. you pretended you didn't see the signs. you told him more than once, that you didnt want to be more.

then you went and had to go off at canopy. that week. was hell. but it was the start of the whole thing. hangin gout every night. making time for you. you made time for him. you wanted him to come. you wanted to feel wanted. he said that everything we do wasnt intentional for anymore. then the show. the afterparty. the words he said. the next day. the go show. the stuff that went down. holy fuck.

and then the hell week to come after, the paragraphs and paragraphs.

that night. that NIGHT. he came over, it happened.

will anyone ever be so into you ever again? will anyone ever treat you like a queen like he did? did you just give up on something that was supposed to be so great and had so much potential just for some things that you believe to be super important to you? how do you even know that he wasnt the one? because of the feeling you have? because of the circumstances? he was perfect. he was kind. he really really really cared about you. he was falling for you. he was cute, intelligent, loyal. LOYAL. he was INTO YOU. so fucking into you. you had so much in common, he built you up. he was so kind. so so so kind. he listened. he adored. he cared.

how do you know that this wont happen again to someone who could be the one? how do you know youre not self sabotaging?

he also was moody. he was needy. he didnt put in what he said. he was stressed. did i give up too fast?

fuck, that night was perfect. it was perfect.

i missed him so much, thursday, i missed him so much. after that hell week of all the things happening at once. he was what i wanted he was what i needed. and i saw him, i did. we had a great time. dinner and a movie, that was the most fun and the most romantic thing we've done. he talked for hours and i listened and it happened and it was so fun. it was so good. it was sooo good.

and then i had to go in and share my goddamn valid feelings. and then it all went to shit.

and now i dont know what to do or where to go or how to react. i want him to know that i have so much love for him. i do. and i want him in my life. i need him in my life, god i need him in my life. i need it to go back. i want it to go back

fuckkkk

its not going to be, but i have to believe this is the plan you have for me i need to come back and get my shit together.

i dont know what to do with myself, i dont know how i feel. i dont know anything really. i just know i miss him i want to talk to him and i need to be with him right now but i cant have any of those things. its just so stupid because official for what, 2 weeks? unofficial for 4 and talking for so damn long.

it sucks because you knew this was the case, like you knew it was going to end. but you still let yourself fall into it. you lead yourself into it. you knew it was wrong and you did it anyways, so that fucking sucks. and makes it worse.

i feel like a stale sad...

like, i want to cry, but i cant. im just kind of on empty. i hate that i see him climbing trees and laughing and seeing movies and hanging out. i hate that hes snapping and not snapping me and i hate that i liked someone who was so not for me

even though i knew he wasnt for me

i let it happen i let myself feel it i did this i broke us up its on me its my fault i broke his face i ruined his plans his summer his daydreams i broke him i broke him i broke him and i feel horrible and i feel horrible because i like him and im going to see him and want to be held by him and hold him and i want to be with im and i care about him and i want to see his play and the way he acts and find out if hes going to be in michigan or not and i want to see his life through i want to be able to follow the finsta and see his life and see him fall in love and i want him to be so fukcing hppy im so sad because he deserves the world the whole wide wide world.

i just am sad. i lost myself. i lost a friend. i lost him. im alone.

good work today keeping busy, your friends are gems. bless them hundreds and hundreds fold. michael especially

you should sleep now. talk soon

xxx

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