#anyway something about duty vs heart and need vs must etc. etc.

[tls123]

wen qing and jiang cheng’s scene in episode twenty  —  requested by anonymous

#theuntamededit #mdzsedit #cqledit #the untamed #wen qing #jiang cheng #chengqing #fdstuff #fragifs #cql #rs: we are even now #requests. #i like how the coloring looks in the close up shots but i'll admit it #isn't half as pretty in the other gifs. mostly though i am mad that the fourth gif doesn't respect the 180° rule :( #anyway something about duty vs heart and need vs must etc. etc. #long post / #tv

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 7. Random thoughts.

Through some kind of mistake, Rem had completely accepted Subaru, but he knew all too well that the Subaru Natsuki she saw was an ideal far removed from the real thing. Compared with the man she envisioned in her mind, the cards that the real Subaru held were few in number, and poor in quality—

But he learned, now that he stood at the playing table, no one cared about his personal problems.

All anyone in his position could do was try to win with the cards he was dealt.

This is sign I think Subaru has grown a little bit, though he is still growing. It's not about him, and Ferris later seems like he's trying to drill that into him a bit more later when Subaru wants to help with the battle preparations. It's good that he wants to help but sometimes he's unintentionally making things too much about himself, just to ease his own feelings. There are places where he would be getting in the way if he tried to help and Subaru's learning to accept that; to be patient and give his services where he can actually be of use, not just to help himself feel better. And damn, does he put that new maturity to good use in the big battle.

Originally, these negotiations had been Rem’s appointed duty. He could easily imagine how being unable to divulge her task to Subaru and having to speak with Crusch day after day had whittled away at her spirit.

Subaru had continually rotted by himself while the future of the Emilia camp had been entrusted to her—she must have suffered under that burden.

He hoped that in some small way, this victory repaid the girl whose feelings had supported him for so long; if so, then for the moment, that was enough for Subaru to be happy.

I really like this part. Again, it's not all about Subaru. He's acknowledging how much Rem's had to deal with while he was having his breakdowns and indulgences during his prior loops, and how much she still did what she could to support him in spite of it all. We're getting a little more that she does have a life outside of just Subaru and a little more added on to why he feels he's been so selfish. It really feels like he is now doing this for her. It's not like Subaru was completely self-centered before but I imagine there were times, especially with Emilia, where he wanted to help, but he wanted to be the one to help. He wanted good things for her but part of him cared more that he was the one giving them to her, verses her just getting what she needs in general. It's like how he couldn't feel happy that Otto was in support of Emilia first time he met him, though of course that was when he was at one of his lowest points.

And, of course, I'm absolutely reveling in all the sweetness of Rem supporting Subaru through his negotiations. Even if it's just holding his hand and reminding him she's there, he clearly appreciates the strength and courage it's giving him. Obviously they're not a romantic couple but this is the kind of stuff I love to see in romantic relationships. Just the basic comfort and support they find in each other's presence.

“...If I am gone, will you remember me just as long?”

“...I don’t wanna answer that. It’s bad luck.”

Speaking with a voice of dismay, Subaru gave Rem’s forehead a little poke.

When he touched Rem’s forehead, she smiled with a happy expression, almost as if she’d received the reply she had been hoping for.

Given something I believe I've been spoiled on for what happens later in the story (after where the anime leaves off), this feels like a very cruel monkey's paw bit of foreshadowing.

“Subaru.”

“...What?”

“I am fine with being your second wife.”

They were words to make a man unwittingly halt in his tracks.

When Subaru, unable to resist, looked toward her, Rem made a face like that of an adorable puppy, seemingly wagging her tail as she awaited Subaru’s reply.

Oh, good grief, just how far is this girl gonna—?

“If Emilia-tan’s a very generous first wife...”

“Well then, when we get back you must convince Lady Emilia. I shall try hard as well.”

Rem clenched the hand not grasped into a fist, very animated as she spoke with a smile.

Speaking jokingly like that broke all the tension, driving home to Subaru how weak he was. He truly couldn’t hold a candle to the girl.

I'm...going to have to see where the story goes from here, and how truly joking/serious Rem was with that second wife line. Just to put it out there, I don't really have a good view of polygamy. I'm always going to think that, 1st wife or 2nd or 3rd or wherever, someone is always going to be treated like second best and second priority. What they're receiving doesn't feel like real love and that's not fair to them. The only way I can see myself supporting a polygamous marriage in this series is if it's made clear Emilia and Rem are attracted to each other as well as Subaru and want to bang. Then it at least becomes three people who love each other as opposed to just "the guy and his two prizes".

So, first time you read this part in the novels or watched it in the anime, was anyone else afraid of the White Whale not showing up where and when Subaru told everyone it would? Like the world would just want to gut punch him one more time and have everyone think he's a fraud? I remember I was.

One theory I have for why the witch's scent grows stronger, not just when Subaru RBD, but also when he tries to talk about RBD is that maybe the witch likes when he acknowledges her "gift" to him. But she's also quite screwed up and doesn't like it when he tries to "share" what's between them, thus why she punishes him or those around him for doing so.

In front, behind and up above, he saw yet another whale-shaped figure high in the sky, scattering mist all around.

—The infinite mouths of the three White Whales laughed together, drawing out the despair of men.

Subaru, Crusch, the soldiers, everyone, etc.

Though pests had interrupted it, the White Whale’s mission was to cover the world in mist. This, too, was the command of its instinct, and doing so was the purpose of the White Whale’s existence.

One thing I've enjoyed about the various light novel series I've been reading is that, compared to their anime, I get a better idea of various characters' and monsters' mentalities. The best example I could give would be the goblins in Goblin Slayer (that they are not mindless creatures; that they know EXACTLY what they're doing to people and they enjoy it) and this bit with the White Whale is another good one. It seeks to cover the world in its mist and thus destroy/consume/erase everything (maybe?) And it doesn't know why it seeks to do this. It just does, suggesting there is something else, possibly the one behind its creation, driving it.

It's also interesting that, to the White Whale, the witch's scent is described as foul, despite the stories that she's the one who created it. This brings to mind a couple different theories.

Satella didn't actually create the whale. Someone else, perhaps one of the other six witches did or one of the archbishops.

Satella did create the whale but maybe used one of the other witches to do it. Puck did mention something about Gluttony when he sensed the whale approaching in the last loop.

Satella REALLY cannot tell the difference between positive and negative emotions, even more so than we were already led to believe.

Kind of cruel of Rem to trick Subaru into thinking she was dying, but at least we do get Subaru's completely true feelings out in the open. Back to the polygamy matter, I don't have a problem with Subaru being indecisive between Emilia and Rem or being in love with them both. It's not just that they've done so much for him, in which case the relationship would feel just like how Emilia described, just the two of them repaying debts to each other. Both women have been a hugely positive influence on Subaru's life. They've impacted it for the better and helped push him into being more of a man he can live with being, and it works the other way around too. It would be hard to imagine his story without either of them in it. I feel the same way with Code Geass in regards to CC, Shirley, and Kallen in Lelouch's story. It was the only "harem" series I've ever watched where I had trouble saying who the MC should end up with, because all three were irreplaceable in his life and story. Take any of them out and it loses a lot. Emilia and Rem are a similar case.

As Rem looked back at Subaru, now beside her, large tears filled her blue eyes. It was not being left behind that she feared. No, what she feared more than anything was—

“When you are in distress, Subaru, I want to be the one offering my hand faster than anyone. When you hesitate along your path, I want to be the one pushing on your back. When you challenge something, I want to be at your side, stopping you from shaking. That is—that is all I wish for. So please...”

Again, more great parallels between Subaru and Rem, as this isn't dissimilar to what he wanted to do for Emilia.

Wilhelm might just be the biggest example of a tsundere I've ever seen. Married a woman he loved from the bottom of heart for what was assumedly a decent amount of time...never freaking told her "I love you" until he finally killed the beast that killed her.

As for Theresia, it's definitely a case of why context is so important. She never wanted to be the Sword Saint. She only did so because she found purpose in saving as many lives as she could with the insane power she had (the whole "great power, great responsibility" chestnut). If Wilhelm is strong enough to protect and save people, to where her absence would make no difference, then she doesn't have to be the Sword Saint anymore and can live the life she wants. It's what makes it an actual kindness vs. some chauvinistic BS. Probably helps too that she'd already helped put an end to a long war, so she wouldn't have been needed as much anyway.

“So it is said. The existence and origins of demon beasts are mysteries to us. Some propagate in the same manner as ordinary living creatures, but some suddenly appear out of nowhere like the White Whale. Though, properly speaking, the only exceptions on par with the White Whale are the Black Serpent and the Great Hare.”

Oh...I'm so not looking forward to meeting those two. After how much tragedy just the White Whale caused, what the f**k are those things going to do? My money would be that whatever it is, it will hurt Subaru quite horribly.

This book potentially answered a question I had in my last post. The Witch Cult is after Emilia because they see her as an impostor of the Witch of Envy, or at least so the characters in-story are speculating.

Not sure how many people here are fans of Rising of the Shield Hero but after this I kind of want to see the White Whale and the Spirit Tortoise duke it out. That sounds awesome. Mountain Turtle vs. Witch Fish.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gub735/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_7/

#re:zero #random thoughts #reddit repost

[thesugarace]

Alright

I finished HLITF season 1 for Kaga and I SWEAR TO ALL 12 ZODIAC GODS

VOLTAGE. PEAKED!!!! AT KAGA’S SEQUEL

THIS STORY IS AN ABSOLUTE 

(Early warning: minor/major spoilers and a lot of rants/fangirling/thirst etc etc all bec I just absolutely love this story and I feel the need to share this love with everyone. Also, I keep seeing everyone hating on MC in this but I actually really liked her here and so I MUST defend her)

Okay

First of all look. loOK. LOOK AT THESE CGS!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GET A HOT AND SEXY KAGA CG, A LITERALLY STEAMY ROMANTIC CG AND A BOMB AF STORY ALL FOR $3 EYE-

And oh my huedhaut dont even get me started on the story. It was absolutely on point. It has everything a HLITF story promises to have:

justice in the eyes of our straightlaced MC vs the PSD ✔️

Conflict btwn Kaga and MC precisely because of that ✔️

Our girl pulling a vanishing act bec she refused to compromise her values ✔️

the refusal of each side to back down and their love for each other TEARING THEM APART INSIDE ✔️

OUR GIRL SHOWING OFF HOW INSIGHTFUL SHE REALLY IS AND FINDING A SOLID AF LEAD ✔️

MC’S GROWTH in finding a somewhat compromise between her principles and what is required of her as a PSD detective ✔️

And of course, my absolute favourite: ANGSTY ANGSTY MY-WORLD-IS-ENDING-BECAUSE-MY-MC-IS-IN-DANGER-ANGSTY KAGA ✔️

Okay, I need to address the one thing that everyone just hates about this story en masse and it’s MC. Personally, I dont agree with her about the some parts, especially the interrogation because she did hinder an investigation and in law enforcement that is one big No-No but I do see where she’s coming from, especially with the surveillance thing and the whole copping out and literally running away to the countryside. I saw reviews abt her being completely naive but seriously, put yourself in the position of the one being spied. She’s so against it because to the suspect, what they’re doing could be harmful to him, especially so if he was innocent. I think as a person, she believes in the more publically-accepted justice - the kind of justice that everyone wants but is really very difficult to obtain.

And this is where we get to the beauty of this story. As per their MO, the PSD is ready to do whatever it takes to get the culprit even it means breaking the law. They’re desperate to get the culprit because people are actually getting hurt and the longer this guy gives them the slip, the more people are going to get hurt. Even in MSB, its been established that to the PSD, the end ALWAYS justify the means and they dont give a shit if they look like criminals for it. So this is where the conflict arises between MC and the PSD guys. For the PSD, there’s an opportunity where they might get the culprit but its illegal and for MC, what the PSD wants to do is too risky for something only based on suspicion; she wants to stay on the legal path but she has no lead whatsoever and time is not on either side. People dont seem to realise the weight of MC’s viewpoint and have a tendency to think of ‘officers doing something illegal’ as something as light as jaywalking or smt. No, these institutions have a wide reach and one misstep could bring harmful repercussions onto countless innocent people not to mention the implications of their actions on their integrity as an institution of the law and the integrity of the entire justice system. However, the PSD’s side is a lot more true to reality albeit in more complex situations: their duty beyond all else is to prevent crime and there are times when there really seems to be no way. I’ve been working in law for the past few years and this is a classic dilemma that has been simplified but quite well executed in this context. Justice is not as clear cut as the right way, the right end. The law may simply be black words on white paper but different circumstances dye it with their own colours. This is where MC is lacking. She’s like a freshman at law school - someone who truly believes in the importance of justice but actually has little idea what that actually entails. She is not entirely naive but more in a sense that she’s never been confronted with these kind of complex high-stakes situations (she worked in a police box before this for Ichthys’s sake) and that inexperience disables her from seeing and evaluating the entire situation from the PSD’s pov. For her, its like playing poker for the first time and she’s already betting with the million dollar chips.

The second thing I REALLY must defend her in is the whole quitting from the academy. For the love of Zyglavis, she did NOT run away just because Kaga told her she’s not suited for PSD, it was just the trigger. Lemme put it in a different scenario (btw this scenario is not meant to mirror the situation, its only meant to evoke how MC felt in the story) Imagine you live in a city and you and your significant other are living together. A pandemic has struck your city but everyone refuses to wear a mask and the government is even encouraging people not to wear a mask. You know that wearing a mask slows down the spread of the virus and you are trying to convince people to wear one but they just ignore you. The number of cases is dropping and people think its because they dont wear masks unlike other cities but you know that people should still wear masks or the numbers might spike. So you try to convince everyone to wear a mask and people start berating you for being so stupid as to believe that masks will slow down the spread of the virus when the numbers are dropping without the city wearing them. You go home and your significant other berates you for forcing other people to wear a mask and says ‘since you wanna wear a mask so badly, get out of my house and move out of town’ That’s what it felt like for MC: the absolute frustration + sadness from the rejection of what she truly believes in by the people she’s surrounded by. Time and time again in the story, she’s confronted with the fact that the justice she believes in is not the justice PSD serves. For someone who is working towards joining the PSD, that has to be killing her inside every time. It just serves as a reminder that she is not suited for PSD nor is she what PSD wants in a detective, something she has been struggling with since MS1 but she perseveres perhaps because of her dream to become a detective or because of her aspirations to someday be Kaga’s equal or at least be someone he considers he can rely on. I really believe it’s the second one, after all, it was his rejection of her that really broke her inside and finally convinced her to quit. That’s why if you buy the ending set, you’ll see in the extra stories that Kaga gets extremely angry AT HIMSELF that MC quit the academy. He knows that our persistent Kappa doesnt give up so easily, not even when he scolded her for ruining his interrogation. Its because all these factors built up and he was the one to push her over her limit. So yes, our girl is not fragile yall. She’s just been through so much and I honestly dont blame her for leaving like one order of R&R for our MC here, she deserves it thanks. 

Okay, I need to end this soon cause its starting to get too long but what made me really love her here is the whole LIME thing. That part made love her so much because even when she quit on the academy, there’s still a fire inside her to do what it takes to achieve justice, even if it meant relying on the people she didnt agree with. Even when she was so broken inside believing that she’s not one of them, she’s not needed by them, she’s not worthy of helping them; she just wants to help!

IM SO FREAKING SOFT FOR HER BECAUSE THIS GIRL WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IS STILL FIGHTING IN HER OWN WAY AND JKASHFHASKJHAKSHKJHGA BRB CRYING

ALSO 

THAT BLOODY PHONE CALL OH MY FREAKING SCORPIO THAT PHONE CALL. I died when he told her that quitting is not an excuse to leave his side. THESE TWO EYE-

Okay, you have to read that phone call scene from both sides because then you’ll see how much these two are being stubborn because they still dont accept the other’s pov abt the case but at the same time how much they love and miss each other is gnawing at them inside AND THEYRE STRUGGLING TO HOLD ALL THOSE EMOTIONS BACK WHEN THEY HEAR EACH OTHERS’ VOICES OVER THE PHONE FREAKING KRIOFF TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE

Anyways, I really enjoyed reading season 1 for Kaga, especially because of his MC - I see her actually growing from the small police box officer to a PSD cadet and the sequel, especially, shows promise in how she’s going to navigate the world of law enforcement and facing difficult choices. Our girl really decided to return to the academy without finding a proper middle ground between her values and what PSD requires of her but she showed determination to work on it so I really hope we get to see more of that in later seasons. Also, WHIPPED Kaga is my fav but soft Kaga is up there as well. MC SAYING HE SOUNDED SAD OVER THE PHONE AND HER TEARING UP I CANT. THESE TWO ARE BAD FOR MY HEART.

Okay, Im not sure what I’ll be reading next. I kinda wanna start on his season 2 but considering how amazing this season is for Kaga, Im really curious abt the other characters so I might start on them before starting any season 2s. Also, idk if I would make these long argumentative-ish essays a thing but just idk why, my brain is really good at spewing essays out when it comes to HLITF and I think its fuelled by the panic from all my unfinished work so yay 

Thanks for reading!!!

#rediscovering hlitf #HLITF #Hyogo Kaga #seiji goto #hideki ishigami #ayumu shinonome #shusuke soma #her love in the force #voltage inc. #otome #voltage otome #voltage romance sims #voltage guys

[drewinator23]

FE3H MBTI [Dimitri — ISFJ]

lol so. it looks like a lot of people are subscribing to the idea that dimitri is an ENFJ, in contrast to edelgard, who is supposedly an ENTJ. i believe that misses the point of these characters — and their dynamic — almost entirely, especially in dimitri’s case. while i will say i think edelgard is an INTJ, at least that isn’t too far off from ENTJ. the cognitive difference between ISFJ and ENFJ though...oh boy, where do i start.

the whole dimitri/edelgard conflict isn’t so much a clash between Fe and Te as it is a clash between Si and Ni — with dimitri, of course, representing the former. Fe vs Te does come into play a little (ISFJ’s auxiliary Fe vs INTJ’s auxiliary Te), but i honestly think the main focus of their clash is the past vs future dynamic typical of Si/Ni conflict.

ISFP seems to be a popular choice for dimitri too, but tbh i think a lot of people are mistaking his Si for Fi. i just want to say, right now, that this man...does not have Fi. lol. not in his main functions anyway (yes i will be getting into shadow functions, and cognitive loops, and all that good stuff, so if that’s not your cup of tea then here’s your warning!) ...but yeah let’s get into it.

Dominant Si 

“I must never forget that day. I must never allow their deaths to be forgotten.”

dimitri has a very strong connection to the past. and this doesn’t just apply to his past, but to the concept of the past in general. in stark contrast to edelgard, dimitri vehemently believes in “preserving what deserves to be preserved,” which is an important factor in why his methods are far less radical than hers. he believes it’s possible to improve the system currently in place without tearing it from the ground up the way edelgard does. he places a lot more focus on honoring the fallen, on reminiscing about days gone by, and on respecting tradition in general. and this isn’t to say he’s a dense fuck. dimitri is very much capable of criticizing tradition where it’s due, and we see him do this on multiple occasions. it’s just that he has a lot more appreciation for the positive aspects of tradition/“the past” which edelgard seems to ignore completely. where edelgard wishes her “worthless dreams of the past” would go away, dimitri legit admits to relying on his headaches/nightmares of the past as reminders because he is genuinely afraid to forget the faces of those he “let die,” along with those he killed. he believes forgetting their faces would be an insult to their memory. he talks about his history with edelgard far more than she talks about her history with him. he becomes furious when edelgard’s forces attack the holy tomb and “desecrate the dead.” i think you guys get where i’m going with this. while it’s true that a substantial amount of dimitri’s connection to the past is unhealthy, that’s largely due to the trauma he suffers, along with the cognitive imbalance stemming from his Si-Ti loop. obsessing over the past the way dimitri does is far more indicative of an unhealthy Si user than it is of shadow Si, which is more likely to just abandon the past altogether...or uh, “trample the past underfoot” (looking at you, hegemon edelgard). 

“I owe you, just as I owe the spirits of those I let die.”

second point — duty. (i’m guessing this is the point a lot of people confuse for Fi. dimtiri’s pretty preachy, yeah, but not all talk about justice is inherently rooted in Fi. more on that later though.) this guy literally constructs his entire life around the idea of fulfilling his duty, be it his duty to his father, his duty to dedue’s people, his duty to his kingdom, etc. he constantly talks about his need to fulfill these duties, and pretty much all the effort he puts into anything is driven by this. even his earlier, more light-hearted supports tend to carry a running theme of him making promises (which he takes almost comedically seriously), encouraging his classmates to be responsible, creating debts to be repaid, and so on. the only reason he even goes to the academy in the first place is, by his own admission, to fulfill what he perceives as his duty as the Sole Survivor of the Tragedy of Duscur™. obsessive revenge is a fucked up conception of duty, sure, but it transforms into something healthier by the end of the story while remaining very distinctly Si. his duty to ghosts becomes his duty to the living — to the people in his kingdom who need him now. essentially, he develops a more constructive attitude toward duty that helps both him and the people he constantly feels he “owes.” my boi snaps out of his Si-Ti loop and becomes a bro again once dat aux Fe and inf Ne come back to balance shit out, y’know what i’m saying? anyway speaking of aux Fe,

Auxiliary Fe

“This victory is the result of everyone’s hard work. Thank you, my friends.”

academy phase dimitri (and i guess uh...post-post-timeskip dimitri) is just about the nicest guy ever. he can be stiff and awkward to the point of being comically serious at times, sure (thanks dominant Si), but he’s generally very polite and agreeable. he’s conscious of the atmosphere in his conversations and always makes an effort to keep things comfortable for everyone involved. tbh he could make do with less of the whole constantly-falling-over-himself-apologizing thing, and it would be kinda cool if “sorry” didn’t make up over 90% of his dialogue, but i digress. regret is dimitri’s middle name so it kinda makes sense for it to permeate even his most mundane interactions. ANYWAY my point is — dimitri’s always trying to make sure everyone gets along and he generally prioritizes harmony over being fully honest about his own feelings, which strikes me as a lot more Fe than Fi. a simple but hopefully effective example of this is his support with flayn where he eats her awful fucking food and tells her it’s delicious even though he can’t taste it. he later admits to her that he was only saying what he thought she’d want to hear, which is like...peak Fe my dudes. a good chunk of his support and even main story dialogue involves him trying to smooth things over, prevent conflict, let people know they did a good job, and so on. and this isn’t just with respect to the other blue lions, but to the other house leaders as well. a lot of the praise he dishes out commends hard work and effort (thanks dominant Si), but his focus is also largely on teamwork and cooperation. 

“I saved someone—saved you. That and that alone has always been my crutch.”  

now on to the darker side of...not-so-healthy Fe users. dimitri openly admits to dedue that saving him gave him a reason to live, that it makes him think it was worthwhile that someone “like [him]” survived. and this savior complex doesn’t just apply to his relationship with dedue, but to his behavior and decisions in general. it’s exacerbated by the sense of genuine responsibility and duty he attaches to everything (thanks dominant Si), and it sparks up in many different ways. he admits that he feels like it’s his responsibility to help the orphans at the monastery, since he lost his family like they did. he tells byleth he wants to become like rodrigue, whom he describes as “someone who can reach out and save a lost soul.” he apologizes to byleth for not being able to save jeralt (?? BRUH.) he begs byleth to tell him how he can “save” the ghosts of his loved ones, even though they’re...you know. dead. i think this prob comes from his endless regret that he couldn’t actually stop anyone from dying in the tragedy, so he’s just obsessed with saving everyone he can now. in any case, dimitri feels the pain of loss in war very, very acutely, which is why he freaks the fuck out in remire. he later admits the flames in remire reminded him of the flames in duscur, which flung him into the same rage he associates with what happened in duscur, even though he had no particular connection to the villagers in remire. he absorbs the suffering of people around him like a sponge and surprise surprise it breaks his mind. eventually his Fe gets overloaded af and shuts down (hello Si-Ti loop), but even unhinged dimitri shows an occasional connection to others’ feelings — endearingly so when he pats a random orphan’s head, and eerily so when he sympathizes with fleche’s bloodlust and allows her to join the party because of it.

Tertiary Ti

“He’s dead. There goes our chance to gain more information.”

dimitri’s introverted realm is one of Si and Ti. he wants to reconcile his understanding of what happened in the past with a logical, substantial explanation, and he works tirelessly to find this explanation. this becomes increasingly apparent when he actually spends time alone — when he isn’t in the company of others, dimitri is far more research-oriented than he is overtly sentimental. he is interested in learning the facts of his circumstances, and he spends hours in the library looking for answers, trying to find out for himself what really happened. he is skeptical of the generally accepted “truth” that duscur itself is to blame, and instead believes that the blame foisted on it is meant to cover up something far more underhanded. of course, he is right about this, and he conducts as much research as he can to get to the bottom of the event. he spends hours in the library, late into the night. he reads about his uncle, lord arundel, and immediately suspects his involvement because the church’s records of his donations abruptly stop right before the tragedy. dimitri questions the man himself about this during their brief encounter pre-timeskip, though it (predictably) doesn’t really lead anywhere. he tries this again post-timeskip, but arundel dies before dimitri can pry too much out of him, which the latter bitterly laments. 

“That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless.”

much like dimitri’s Si, his Ti becomes warped once he enters his Si-Ti loop — feeding into a harsh, twisted, self-deprecating sort of logic that only reinforces itself and ignores other viewpoints (thanks to Fe and Ne shutting down). he becomes uncharacteristically blunt and critical, and the colder, more cynical view of the world we see glimpses of pre-timeskip becomes far more pronounced. in his mind, it doesn’t make sense for the living to move on in hopes of appeasing the dead. turning a blind eye to the dead is blasphemous, and anyone who believes that the dead would want the living to do so is merely adopting “the logic of the living” — a delusion to make themselves feel better. this belief likely helps him rationalize his own desire for revenge, and inability to let go of his past, and so the Si-Ti loop reinforces itself. to reiterate though, dimitri’s Ti is incredibly helpful and constructive when he isn’t loopy (ahahah. get it.) but anyway yeah, in short, his analytical process is typically far more introverted than the sensitive, emotion-focused approach he maintains externally. also, his attention to detail and refusal to accept things at face value are more subtle, covert elements of his personality, but they are definitely there. it’s not as pronounced as claude’s auxiliary Ti, sure, but tertiary Ti ain’t a force to be reckoned with either.

Inferior Ne

“Lineage, race, faith, ideologies... If we could just accept each other and make mutual concessions, one step at a time... Perhaps... Who knows if that’s even possible.”

again, this is one of claude’s functions but more baby. take upside down man’s dominant Ne and make it a bit smoller, more scared, and quicker to shut down. inferior Ne is brilliant, but unfortunately the fourth function tends to be one of insecurity. dimitri aspires to be open-minded and accepting (there’s a reason the inferior function is sometimes called the aspirational function), but it’s something he admittedly struggles with at times. he believes in compromise and understanding, and not just in an Fe way — dimitri advocates for reaching out to other perspectives in war, in politics, and in various other contexts throughout the story. it isn’t the first thing on his mind, but it’s an ideal he genuinely admires. and later in the game, once he snaps out of his loop (which is inherently tunnel-visioned due to its introverted nature), he opens up to the idea again and seeks to understand edelgard’s point of view. he asks to speak with her, to get a better idea of where she’s coming from, to negotiate and hopefully reach a mutual understanding. this echoes his dialogue in chapter 3, where he laments the incident with lord lonato and expresses his belief that they shouldn’t have cut him down, but talked to him instead. dimitri’s Si-Ti loop effectively shuts this desire down, for a very long time, but it finally wakes up again once byleth reminds him “there must be another way.”

“I wonder which is best, Professor... To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway.”

again, as long as byleth is there to steer him back on track, we all know the answer dimitri gets to this in the end. there is always an air of uncertainty about it all — and he definitely needs someone to help kick that inferior into “aspirational mode” — but he is ultimately capable of it. it begins as more of a question than anything, but with guidance it becomes an ideal he can properly believe in and seek for himself. it’s what allows him to finally reach for edelgard’s hand in the end. once he accepts the parts of himself he previously couldn’t, he finds himself able to accept edelgard as well — to extend that same mercy to her. once he’s out of his loop, he doesn’t just regain awareness of his loved ones’ needs with Fe, but becomes invested in understanding their perspectives and motivations again with Ne. he listens to people again, lets them help him, asks them questions, and shows genuine curiosity in their answers. claude would be proud eh?

Shadow Functions

okay here we go. i’m going to make this part shorter since it’s the main functions that matter most, and i know not everyone subscribes to the idea of shadow functions. but anyway here’s the dirt.

Opposing Se

“It’s not that I have grown weary...more that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment.”

this man literally cannot taste food. do i even need to elaborate? okay for real though, dimitri often finds it hard to remain present. he’s often caught up in his duties with Si, or worrying about the atmosphere with Fe, or stuck in his research with Ti, and so on. he is very much capable of making pleasant conversation, but actually feeling present is very difficult for him, and he even goes so far as to describe joy as “fleeting.” he struggles to enjoy festivities, claiming they “don’t suit [him],” and prefers instead to chat with byleth about his childhood. he can’t truly enjoy the meals he eats with others, but he remarks about the dishes he “used to love as a child.” trauma aside, dimitri finds genuine comfort in reminiscing about the past, and he often brings it up in his conversations with others. this is a classic dynamic between dominant Si and the opposing Se that comes along with it.

Critic Fi

“Whatever my feelings, it is all the act of a monster.”

dimitri’s personal feelings are...very, very low on his priority list. and despite all his preaching, he ultimately believes that whatever his personal moral compass may be, it doesn’t justify his actions. and he extends this belief to everyone else as well. simply put, dimitri doesn’t think any set of ideals or morals can justify the actions committed in war. as Aleczandxr words it, “the only reality of war is tragedy for him. there is no such thing as a ‘glorious’ or ‘romantic’ death, and sacrifice is blasphemy.” this is evident in his disgust at people trying to glorify glenn’s death (which dimitri ironically shares with felix — who of course has demon Fi — but that’s a topic for another time.) no subjective concept of morality could possibly justify murder, in any context, and this belief is a burden dimitri admits he believes he will carry forever. dimitri’s introverted realm is a reconciliation between Si and Ti, not Si and Fi. although he believes this should apply to everyone in theory, he often struggles to voice it outright, leading to the hypocritical dynamic that often comes with auxiliary Fe and critic Fi. an example of this is when he tells ashe not to beat himself up for what happened with lord lonato, in an attempt to comfort him, but then proceeds to beat himself up for the exact same thing as soon as ashe leaves. furthermore, the advice he gives marianne in his support with her is to understand that she doesn’t have to “force [her]self to smile as [her] soul bleeds,” though that is exactly what he does for the majority of the academy phase. in any case, the fact that he chooses to give her this specific advice, of all things, is telling.

Trickster Te

“I do not want you to die a death like that. Not even for the sake of loyalty or duty.”

dimitri struggles with efficiency. his intense loathing of sacrifice, regardless of context, makes it very difficult for him to strategize as a commander the way that edelgard does. his rational side is, for the most part, internal; he uses it for his research, his theorizing, his personal endeavors to obtain more information and better understand his circumstances. but he struggles to apply that same level of cold, hard logic while commanding his troops, especially in battle. this comes up in his support with ingrid, who remarks that any good king innately understands some of his soldiers’ lives must be sacrificed for the greater good. she then proceeds to call dimitri’s ideals soft-hearted, which is as good an encapsulation as any of how his Te compares to edelgard’s. war and battlefields aside, dimitri struggles with being harsh in general, preferring to speak to others in softer, more personal terms rather than being blunt. he translates his Ti findings into “acceptable” Fe terms, except for when he enters a loop and said Fe shuts down. during these phases, dimitri is harsh in a manner far more characteristic of “unfiltered” Ti than it is of unrestrained Te, as he snaps at others to leave him alone more than he is inclined to order them around.

Demon Ni

“Do I have the right to live for myself?”

as soon as dimitri snaps out of his Si-Ti revenge craze, his first instinct is to ask who or what he should live for now. and even after byleth tells him to live for what he believes in, it’s very clear in dimitri’s subsequent supports that “what he believes in” is still fulfilling his duty to his kingdom. the difference is that he now has a healthier conception of said duty, and is finally open to accepting his loved ones’ support. that said, he has never been naturally inclined to follow his more personal desires, plainly admitting that he has rarely — if ever — given his own dreams any thought. furthermore, he struggles considerably with looking toward the future, and is unable to do so without byleth, who needs to physically stop him from looking back and guide him onward in the final cutscene. even at his healthiest, dimitri is a defender of the past. he criticizes edelgard by asking her if she would really force people to “throw their lives away for the future,” and warns her that regardless of how strongly she believes in her vision, the future she creates will be “built on a foundation of tears.” this is because he understands, better than most, just how critical the past can be in any individual’s life.

Conclusion

the internet needs to stop hating Si and just let characters be well-written “and Si” at the same time lol. especially in such obvious, practically textbook cases of high Si. one of the most common arguments against Si dimitri is that his devotion to the past is only caused by his trauma, and “isn’t the real him.” the fact of the matter is, dimitri’s Si manifests in so much more than just his duty to avenge the fallen. it plays a huge role in so many other elements of his personality, as do the other functions that come with being an ISFJ. i’m tired of these implications that Ni is some inherently higher, “healthier” form of being lying under literally any indication of Si, which automatically gets discarded as trauma or something lmao. c’mon guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#fe3h #dimitri #mbti #isfj

[fyrapartnersearch]

[M//] [NOVELLA] [WORLD-BUILDING] [DOUBLING] MEDIEVAL FANTASY/DARK FAIRYTALE

| Ros | 21 | CST | Third person ; Novella ; Four paragraphs BARE minimum| [email protected] |

  Adventure, romance, drama, tragedy, well-rounded characters, fantastical settings, prophecies, detailed world-building, character growth… and more!

  If any of that caught your eye, we could be a match! I’ve never written fantasy before, which is shocking to me because I hold it so close to my heart. I will forewarn you that despite having next to nothing in mind while making this ad, I am extremely focused on plot and world-building. I’ve had partners in the past say they’re big on world-building but either contribute next to nothing or only have a vague outline of the world we’re working with before diving into things, so if you’re one of those types, we might not click! I want a story filled with plot and subplots and a living, breathing world for us to explore through our characters, which is partly why I don’t have a proposed world to work with right from the start. I want us to be able to build something together!

  I’m a big chatter OOC, so you can expect me linking songs or playlists or making moodboards revolving around our characters or world. I’m very creatively driven, so when something’s on my mind, I want to rave about it! I’d love equal enthusiasm from a partner. I can work with or without face claims, too, so let me know if they’re something you want and I’ll be more than happy to dig around for some. (No anime, of course; real people.) If you aren’t into them, I’m equally happy to run with written descriptions. Any and everything is good in my book.

  Seeing as it’s fantasy, I am definitely gearing more toward the high medieval fantasy than low fantasy. I want there to be absurdity! Dragons, magic, old gods, divine magic, mythological beings, palaces built of ice and snow, fantasy beings, ancient tomes, floating cities sustained by magic, demigods, crystal caverns, underwater kingdoms, generational curses, war, political tension… Fantastical, unreal, extravagant. I want a wondrous world and a harrowing adventure for our characters to journey on. I DO want there to be some kind of prophecy or destiny involved, whether we subvert it or stick with it or something else entirely; I want there to be a bigger picture in mind for our characters. Maybe we have a Chosen One. Maybe we have a not-so-Chosen-One; maybe the Chosen One died and someone is left to fill their shoes. Maybe a God has bestowed their powers to an earthly vessel, or maybe a character or two are the only connection to a presumably dead race or magic. The possibilities are endless.

  Like! My point here is I really want a fantasy adventure and world and conflict bigger than our characters! I’m so ready for brainstorming!!!

  As for the characters, I adore writing casts, so doubling is a must. I am perfectly fine writing two M// relationships or just one with two secondary characters uninvolved romantically with one another, or perhaps even an M// and F// couple! I do not enjoy writing M/F relationships. The point is that writing multiple characters is a requirement. I’ve never written more than two mains, but I’d be more than happy to try it out! I want something like a party on a grand quest, destined to be drawn alongside one another – or even a slew of ill-suited randos roped in on something bigger than them that they never signed up for. I love character drama, introspection, and the eventual family-like dynamic they slot into. Or even a betrayal or two! Maybe a character defects to the Other Side. Maybe that was their intention all along, but they got caught up in getting emotionally invested in everyone else, which makes their betrayal all the more heart-wrenching.

  (Note: all characters will be adults! I don’t write minors. We also don’t need to stick to the “every character is 20-25” unspoken rule I’ve seen a lot where every character is never older than 26 for some reason; different ages are more than welcome! Just no weirdly big age gaps, keep it within reason and not far off developmentally.)

  Romance is, as I mentioned, a staple. I am a fan of every trope, with every character combination. Childhood/close friends, mutual pining (if it’s got bone-deep yearning and a litany of almosts in the quiet night, I’m there), opposites attract, forbidden romance, arranged marriage drama (duty vs desire)… Royal/Commoner, Royal/Knight, Commoner/Knight, Commoner/Warrior, etc etc etc! Anything you like, I’m game for it. While romance is there alongside the plot, it is something I greatly want to focus on.

  I write smut and prefer not to fade to black. I also write switch characters, period. Been burned too many times in the past with strict top/bottom roles. However, I am a fan of subverting expectations and flipping a coin on its head, so I can be swayed with tough/physically imposing bottoms or unassuming tops. Otherwise I adhere strictly to writing switch roles. My limits are noncom or dubcon, BDSM, mpreg, master/slave dynamics, incest, underage, sexual abuse, toilet play, vore/gore, and foot fetishes.

  What I want from you: tell me your name, age, time zone, average post length, limits, and any ideas you’ve got or if you’d just like to brainstorm together. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just gotten “I want to RP with you” messages from people; I delete those right off the bat. I’m not asking for much, just some basic information of who you are, how you go about things, and what you’re looking for. Also, please keep in mind that I DO greatly prefer someone who writes novella style like I do. I write a lot (as you can tell. lmfao), like nine-15 paragraphs depending on the scene, even 20+ if it’s more extensive. I am definitely NOT stingy about multiple replies a day or even a week given the style of writing, so if you write more casually with just 2-3 paragraphs or so I don’t think we’ll fit. I’m definitely much more fine with a shorter length if the scene isn’t intensive or big, of course, lol. Just write at least three-four paragraphs on average if you don’t write novella specifically and we’ll be golden! I’m not a quantity over quality person, I just prefer we have an equal give and take.

  And that’s all I’ve got for now! If you’re interested, email me and we can move on from there. :) I also plot, chat OOC, and roleplay strictly through email; I don’t use discord or kik or even gchat, email is the only place I’ll get things done! I’d be down for a shared GDoc for world-building or characters or just anything for a point of reference, though. Anyway, hope to hear from you!!! <3

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #long term #email #smut rp #submission

[momestuck]

Epilogues

Oh boy, we’re back.

So if anyone’s not heard The News this 13/4/2019, Homestuck’s gone and done its epilogue(s) at last.

I am now several hours behind the hype curve, so no doubt the kind of person who reads this blog has already read the upd8 and developed an Opinion. Nevertheless, the duty falls upon me to liveread this.

So, it starts with an AO3 joke. Obvious comments out of the way:

“oh hey it’s well known fanfic author Cepheid_Variable” (which answers my question of whether Hussie’s still the only author: no)

“damn that’s a hefty content warning”

“this is a nice way to repeat the theme that ‘canon’ is less important than the personal and collective understandings developed by each reader, by presenting the ‘canon’ ending as just another fanfic”

of course, not every interpretation is created equal in terms of its social reception. Homestuck has already touched on discourses of ‘good fandom’ vs ‘bad fandom’ with the Calliope/Caliborn dichotomy; no doubt, with Hussie inviting a fanfiction writer on board, he took care to make a choice of a generally respected author

It continues the joke by being straight up prose. Physics terms are thrown about like a series of slightly dubious similes. The prose gets purpler and purpler until...

Your name is John Egbert, and you have just had a terrible, deeply pretentious nightmare. You snap out of bed, soaked in sweat, your heart hammering like a fire alarm. It is just as you feared. You’ve been dreaming in anime again. And you have no idea what it could mean.

Haha, got you again, suckers. Cake: had, and eaten. (Also, act 7 was literally anime so... yeah, sure thing.)

[ @drc4ble tells me there’s another level to this troll, in that Cephied_Variable is quoting a part of her own fic in this intro.]

You’ve always been confused about what, exactly, they contribute to the global economy. But it’s pretty cute how much they love playing at being suburban businessmen.

“cw: capitalism” indeed

So, in the idyllic world we saw in the credits upd8, all is not so well for the beta kids. John is 23, which means it is now, in canon as well as out, 10 years since the comic began.

Rose starts dropping some exposition, drawing on her Seer of Light abilities; of note is the ‘breakdown of boundaries’ between the different incarnations of the kids she describes:

ROSE: It’s not about gaining additional power, so much as the gradual dissolving of the boundaries between your own awareness and that of your many doomed selves who perished in other timelines.

ROSE: It’s a slow and apparently rather uncomfortable accretion of knowledge. Perhaps I’m the only one to notice any change, since my aspect explicitly relates to knowledge.

Jade has apparently detected that godtier!Calliope destroyed the Green Sun, ‘from this frame of reference’.

In much more important news than the end of the universe(s), we get confirmation of Jadedavekat OT3, or something like it:

she’s been gallivanting around with Dave and Karkat under whatever perplexing social arrangement they have settled on.

Another interesting turn of phrase:

ROSE: You will need to travel back into canon and defeat Lord English.

‘Canon’ is certainly a choice of words, given this is being presented as a fanfic. This is spelled out, which I’m going to quote at length:

ROSE: In other words, there is an important distinction between events which can be considered to occur inside canon, outside canon, and those which are not canon at all.

ROSE: The day we went through that door and claimed our reward, we passed a threshold between continua marked by differing degrees of relevance, truth, and essentiality.

ROSE: Those are the three pillars of canon.

JOHN: what?

Rose shoots you an irritated look. You know what that look means. It’s reserved for the sort of bozo who just said “what” once too often.

ROSE: Any event said to take place inside canon will have nonzero values of relevance and essentiality, while maintaining an absolute foundation in truth, by definition.

ROSE: Whereas events outside canon have diminished values of relevance and essentiality. Or, for the most part, can be considered neither relevant nor essential at all.

ROSE: But such events can’t be said to be untrue either. Instead, it’s better to regard their truth value as highly conditional.

ROSE: Are you still following?

In short: what happens in the ‘C’ universe, stays in the ‘C’ universe; it is not ‘essential’, either in the carefully-constructed-timeline sense, or, I think it’s implied, in the development of plot and theme in the story. This is one perspective on how John, Rose etc. choose to return to ‘canon’, but we are implicitly invited to come up with our own.

More precisely, everything after ‘today’ is declared non-canon, which is to say we have completely free rein; everything before ‘today’ is outside of canon, meaning we have explicit invitation to decide what happens ‘off screen’, but I presume we need to accept such things as, e.g. Rose and Kanaya getting married and the rest of the credits upd8.

But because they’re about to enter the 無 state of non-canon, they must tie up the comic’s major loose end, and deal with Lord English - since their ‘escape’ depends on that being canon.

It’s exactly as dumb-clever-convoluted as I want Homestuck to be, at this stage.

Further caveats on this whole ‘canon authentication’ gig: by reaching the ‘victory state’, Rose and all the other main characters have relinquished their ability to play a major role in canon, so John - who retains his retcon powers - has to go it alone. Or not quite alone - he has to pick up different versions of the MCs, from different points in the timeline.

So this is going to be a total fanservice fest huh. But then, I mean who would come back three years later to read a Homestuck epilogue but the kind of nerd who cares very very much about minute details of canon?

Anyway, that aside, back to shipping discourse. Roxy and Callie’s relationship is underlined, while being explicitly vague about the details of that ‘weird, ambiguous’ relationship. The narration has John dwelling on unrequited feelings for Roxy. Also there’s a mention of the ring of life, which is a plot detail I had totally forgotten about. Three years, huh.

Going to highlight this quote:

Suddenly, Calliope bolts upright.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse! what was i thinking.

CALLIOPE: this decision is far too important to be made on an empty stomach.

Callie is exactly right to check if her friend has eaten when he’s suffering an anxiety attack :) :)

Unfortunately she then makes him make another decision... which might imply Homestuck is going to return to a reader-prompted format, or at least a poll, which they’re testing out here. I don’t know. Anyway, the ride never ends, etc. etc.

#momestuck

[autumnslance]

A Lore Nerd’s Analysis of Oaths and Warriors of Light in D&D and FFXIV

This is @wearepaladin‘s fault. Kinda. Actually, I’ve been planning on doing something for awhile, and the idea began to solidify more in a r/ffxiv thread where someone asked “Anyone notice Dark Knight is more like a traditional Paladin lore wise?” My own comment can be found here, where I say I’ve been long thinking of the ways the Dark Knights and Paladins of Eorzea match up to the various Paladin Sacred Oaths of Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition. I figured I ought to expand on that sooner or later.

So yeah, “I’m your host LynMars/Dark Autumn, you can go below the cut for my TEDTalk on the Warrior of Light, Dark Knights, Paladins, and the Sacred Oaths of D&D 5e”:

Now, as a disclaimer, I have not completed the Paladin quest chains yet. I am nearly to the end of the original lvl 30-50 A Realm Reborn (ARR) chain, though, and since I usually don’t care too much about spoilers, already know what’s going to happen. Partially because I could easily guess and so just looked over the chain info. Anyway.

Paladin (PLD) is a traditional sword-and-shield wielding class of holy light users in Final Fantasy, like in most settings. In FFXIV, the primary group of paladins is the Sultansworn. As the class trainer, Captain Jenlyns Aesc, explains when you first approach him:

“A paladin swears allegiance to the sultanate. A paladin shall be the sword and shield of the sultanate. A paladin defends the people of the realm. Sellswords and gladiators and others of their ilk wield their blades for themselves, but a paladin serves the greater good. Do you understand me?

“The battle arts that the paladin learns have been held secret, nurtured, and perfected within the ranks of the Sultansworn elite for nigh on these six hundred years. Of all those sworn to protect the sultanate--the soldiers, the mounted guards, and the knights--we are the elite of the elite. Our conviction unwavering, our hearts true, our sword skills without peer.

“But the glory of the Sultansworn...Well, much of it is buried in the past now. Our brotherhood grows smaller by the year, we are a shadow of what we once were, and the sultana turns to sellswords to defend her palace. All this, because of one traitor--no, because of a blot of dishonor left by one who shall not be named...And because of him, we have been forced to seek the help of able-bodied adventurers.

“And here you are. We shall instruct you in the paladin military arts. You will not be inducted into the Sultansworn, but serve as a free paladin. However, first you will show us that both your sword and heart have mettle, and you are worthy of the honor.”

So how does this relate to the best-known traditional tabletop RPG? In 5th edition (5e), the traditional classes are handled a little differently than before. To add customization, early in leveling (mostly lvl 3, though a few classes start off right at lvl 1), players can choose a type of their class they want to be; what Bard College they study, what Cleric Domain they know, what Druid Circle they are attuned to, etc. For paladins, they choose a Sacred Oath to swear. This gives them their moral code to follow in the service of their deity or ideal that grants them their divine abilities, while also loosening some of the constraints of the old alignment system, and gives both players and game masters a framework for what the paladin’s behavior should follow, lest they stray and lose their divine favor.

The Sultansworn would fit best into the Oath of the Crown:

Law: The law is paramount. It is the mortar that holds the stones of civilization together, and it must be respected. Loyalty: Your word is your bond. Without loyalty, oaths and laws are meaningless. Courage: You must be willing to do what needs to be done for the sake of order, even in the face of overwhelming odds. If you don't act, then who will? Responsibility: You must deal with the consequences of your actions, and you are responsible for fulfilling your duties and obligations.

This oath is for those paladins “sworn to the ideals of civilization, be it the spirit of a nation, fealty to a sovereign, or service to a deity of law and rulership.” (Sword Coast Adventurer Guide, pg 132). As the name implies, the Sultansworn are dedicated to Ul’dah and the Sultan(a) sitting on the throne. As the Sultansworn train free paladins, however, the Oath of the Crown doesn’t apply. A free paladin, Solkzagyl Keltnaglsyn, challenges the player:

“Simply learning paladin swordplay does not make you a paladin--nor does the armor you wear, or the status you claim...Strike off the shackles that bind your spirit, lift the visor that blinds, and find the true path of the paladin.”

Free paladins would fit better under the more traditional Oath of Devotion, from the Player’s Handbook (PHB):

Honesty: Don't lie or cheat. Let your word be your promise. Courage: Never fear to act, though caution is wise. Compassion: Aid others, protect the weak, and punish those who threaten them. Show mercy to your foes, but temper it with wisdom. Honor: Treat others with fairness, and let your honorable deeds be an example to them. Do as much good as possible while causing the least amount of harm. Duty: Be responsible for your actions and their consequences, protect those entrusted to your care, and obey those who have just authority over you.

All the things the Sultansworn strive for, but without the strictures of devoted service to the sultanate. The Knights of Ishgard (often called Temple Knights if part of their military), though not called paladins in game, can also fall into one of these two oaths. In fact, let’s turn to the Holy See of Ishgard now...

(Aside: “But LynMars,” you might say. “My Warrior of Light doesn’t fit either of those Oaths.” Hold that thought for the end, fam.)

So where do Dark Knights fit in? Why consider them “paladins” in all but name?

Dark Knights (DRK) are from Ishgard, like the Temple Knights; most knights of the Holy See should fit into Crown or Devotion, especially with the emphasis on the worship of Halone the Fury, one of Eorzea’s Twelve gods. But, sometimes...holy men aren’t so holy, especially when so many are younger sons sent to the Church because there’s just no other place for them in the noble household structure. When many are orphaned poor joining out of desperation--and finding they’re still given short shrift over their nobleborn brethren. When sometimes, those in power are corrupted by power, or were corrupted to begin with. What then?

I already have a post about the historical origins of Dark Knights in Eorzea, from the Encyclopaedia Eorzea lore book and the official website. In summary, a lowborn knight, Ser Tryphaniel, solid and true and everything a knight ought to be, saw a priest doing unspeakably evil things to a child. Tryphaniel killed the priest on the spot in rage, and as a result--and thanks to Tryphaniel’s unpopularity among the elite due to his staunch beliefs--the knight was stripped of his rank for killing a “holy man.” Tryphaniel gave up his shield, with its crest and symbology, and used only a great sword.

“A heart bleeds, a man weeps, a soul burns. Thence comes the darkness, to consume…Yet even in the depths, the flame endures…Submit to the flame and harness the abyss…” - Ser Ompagne Deepblack

The Dark Knights appear as heretical monsters to the pious of Ishgard. Their abilities are given names such as “Souleater”, “Abyssal Drain”, “Salted Earth,” “Bloodspiller”, “Shadow Wall,” “Living Dead.” They glow with red and black energy. Ser Tryphaniel decided to fight using “any means necessary” in his crusade to protect those the Church could/would not, the great swords of those few Dark Knights acting as beacons in the dark. Those he trained, those also disaffected by the Church and the corruption in its heart (the plot of Heavensward addresses that), followed in his bloody footsteps.

Dark Knights fit perfectly into the framework of the Oath of Vengeance:

Fight the Greater Evil: Faced with a choice of fighting sworn foes or combating a lesser evil, I choose the greater evil. No Mercy for the Wicked: Ordinary foes might win my mercy, but my sworn enemies do not. By Any Means Necessary: My qualms can't get in the way of exterminating my foes. Restitution: If my foes wreak ruin on the world, it is because I failed to stop them. I must help those harmed by their misdeeds.

This is still a paladin oath from the PHB. The Oath of Vengeance is described as “a solemn commitment to punish those who have committed a grievous sin.” The PHB even says Vengeance Paladins are “sometimes called avengers or dark knights--their own purity is not as important as delivering justice.”

“To walk the path is to suffer. To sacrifice. Justice demands no less. But we must never lose sight of why we chose to walk it.” - Sidurgu Orl

I rather like @castthemintotheabyss’ low-spoiler summaries of the DRK quest chains. Identity and duty to yourself vs others; family and justice vs vengeance and mercy; to guilt and grief and acceptance of self.

Dark Knights are considered “edge lords” and “emo” and “gothy” and sure, some of that is true to an extent! But this is a class where the capstone lvl 70 ability, “The Blackest Night”, is a protection cooldown based on love. The “flame in the abyss” is the love the DRK feels for those dearest to their heart, their friends and found family--that is what fuels their darkly named and appearing powers.

If you’ve done the DRK quests, and/or don’t mind some spoilers, I highly recommend @haillenarte‘s translations (part 1, part 2) of the original Japanese text for the ARR DRK quests; the English version is rather different, though I think there’s room for both interpretations of Fray to inform each other. I’m also eager to see translations of later quests in this chain (and how the Stormblood NPC matches up).

I also have a Dark Knight tag where I link some of these resources, thoughts, art, and summarize several of the DRK story quests to be minimally spoilery and showcase how the WoL progresses through the self-reflection these quest enforce (kinda amazing for a MMO, actually). I originally completed the lvl 30-70 quests between October-November 2017, if you check the archive.

“They say the war’s over now, but it never ends for people like you, does it?” - Lowdy

There is one more oath I would like to touch on, due to the unique nature of the player character--the Warrior of Light (WoL)--in ANY of the FFXIV jobs, and how the game’s canon generally tends to assume they’ll roughly behave:

Oath of the Ancients: Kindle the Light: Through your acts of mercy, kindness, and forgiveness, kindle the light of hope in the world, beating back despair. Shelter the Light: Where there is good, beauty, love, and laughter in the world, stand against the wickedness that would swallow it. Where life flourishes, stand against the forces that would render it barren. Preserve Your Own Light: Delight in song and laughter, in beauty and art. If you allow the light to die in your own heart, you can't preserve it in the world. Be the Light: Be a glorious beacon for all who live in despair. Let the light of your joy and courage shine forth in all your deeds.

I think FFXIV players see how it fits. In D&D 5e, the Oath of Ancients has naturalistic/Fey origins. The PHB describes Oath of the Ancients as:

“...paladins who swear this oath cast their lot with the side of the light in the cosmic struggle against darkness because they love the beautiful and life-giving things of the world, not necessarily because they believe in the principles of honor, courage, and justice.” (pg 86)

The WoL is Chosen of Hydaelyn, the World Crystal Herself. Certain enemies call them the “Bringer of Light.” To other NPCs in the storylines, they are the “Weapon of Light.”

If your Warrior of Light fits Crown, Devotion, or Vengeance, awesome! I hope you find some inspiration in roleplay and/or writing from seeing those oaths and how they can interact with the FFXIV lore. These aren’t even all of the Sacred Oaths, either! There are others out there, some official and some homebrew, and some even for evil characters (traditionally anti-paladins or blackguards).

A big part of me, though, feels like the Warriors of Light in general due to the storyline, are on the path set by the Oath of the Ancients; the WoL goes through the main story as a beacon for others, struggling to preserve the light in others, in themselves--and, in the case of the Dark Knights, in the depths of the abyss.

Still, it’s up to each player, and this is just some personal analysis on how the classes presented in FFXIV coincide with elements in D&D. In the end, it’s something that can be used, or not, as one likes (or not). I’ve just found the comparisons neat and wanted to get it down, and fate kept conspiring to push me to do that until I finally wrote all this. So thanks for reading my rambling on about nerdy things.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Dungeons & Dragons #D&D #Dark Knight #Paladin #Warrior of Light #minimal spoilers

[freedom-of-fanfic]

do you think many/most of the teenage antis will grow out of it, or at least mellow down some as they get older? or do we need to be bracing ourselves for a generation of adults who think and act this way?

I do think that a lot of anti-shippers will eventually ‘outgrow’ the aggressive, cruel behavior that defines anti-shipping as a toxic culture, or stop being active in fandom hate circles. however, I also expect most of them won’t outgrow the underlying principles that shape anti-shipping understanding of the world, and I think we’ll have fresh anti-shipper crops every year until fandom lands on a website that allows proper space segregation again.

Like: most people will leave because the energy and emotion involved in engaging in a hate campaign can only be sustained by certain people in certain situations: 

young people with relatively large amounts of time and large amounts of energy* who feel they have a personal stake in the cause

righteous anger addicts (superiority complex)

people who continue to be in traumatizing situations/don’t advance in trauma recovery and find generating control through fear in some other part of their life deeply cathartic

people who gain external benefits, such as: friends, popularity, social control, money

in worst case scenarios: recruiting potential abuse targets

people who live for drama and chaos (internet trolls, for example)

It’s exhausting to be so angry all the time, so unless there’s a near-endless wellspring of energy - usually sourced in some emotional feed off the hatred, venting pain sourced in something else, or another external benefit - it just can’t be kept up forever.

but honestly a lot of the underlying principles of anti culture are proliferating (in Western culture at least) on a much wider scale, and have been for a long time - a couple of decades at least: 

prioritization of safety over personal freedom: any freedom is worth giving up if it will protect you from harm. (helicopter parents care more about their child’s safety than their independence, for instance.) anything that might cause someone to feel unsafe under any circumstances must not just be warned for, but censored and/or (preferably) destroyed.

(my) emotions are the same as facts: intellectual honesty and true respect takes a back seat to making sure you personally feel comfortable. it doesn’t matter if something is logical or effective; if it feels right to you, it’s true. 

ignorance is safe: once you find an ideological authority that makes you feel comfortable, trust that authority to be truthful and to have your best interests at heart.exploration beyond what is taught to you can be dangerous, and what you don’t know can’t hurt you. censoring danger is a better protection against future injury than educating about danger; learning about outside ideas is unnecessary and may taint you.

the belief of being oppressed and constantly under attack no matter how privileged/equal your situation actually is: this is partially motivated by the feeling that the world’s resources are finite (sort of) and definite (no) and anything that used to be for you alone going to others as well is taking away from you. even if nothing is actually taken away. (the ‘War on Christmas’, anyone?)

the aim to censor or stamp out the voice of dissent: disagreement is form of aggression and hurt, no matter their substance. therefore opinions that aren’t exactly like your own can’t just be refuted: they need to be silenced and destroyed. by any means necessary.

you’re always right, everyone else is always wrong: your position is the only good one. every other ideological opinion is utter garbage with no redeeming qualities. compromise is absolutely impossible. (and anyone who holds those opinions is no better than a literal monster.)

us vs. the world, toxic edition: people who have a different opinion from your group reached that opinion by looking at things from your own POV and deciding ‘I choose evil.’ therefore all of the positions they hold that hurt you and your own are malicious and specifically aimed at hurting you, as opposed to a side effect of ignorance or self-prioritization.

We’re already in a world where adults think this way. the above attitudes promote extreme partisanship, hostility, stereotyping, dehumanization of others, valuing ideological purity over practicality, anti-intellectualism, and tribalism.

Basically, it’s a situation ripe for authoritarianism to take hold. and it has taken hold, especially in the US Republican party, and it’s … well. Bad. and if that wasn’t bad enough, the current social climate makes it deeply tempting to fight fire with fire, promising to replace bad authoritarian leadership with good authoritarian leadership. (spoiler: there is no good authoritarian leadership.)

Anyway.

I expect today’s anti-shippers to grow out of anti-shipping but still be highly opposed to the idea of ‘dangerous’ ideas being allowed to exist; they will prefer censorship to education, ignorance to exploration, and will be deeply hostile to any opposition of feeling or taste.

and anti-shipping in general won’t go anywhere. it will continue to attract fandom newcomers, particularly young and/or vulnerable ones, until fandom moves to a space where different communities with different interests can be properly segregated from one another again. 

with the fandom walls of LJ and site forums completely knocked down by web 2.0, it’s no wonder that some of us have decided that all of fandom must provide the same comfortable environment they might have enjoyed in a small, closed community a few years ago, and that they will force fandom to do it. When fandom moves the majority of its interactions and content to a space where communities can be closed off, anti-shipping won’t be nearly as fulfilling as much of the content they seek to police will no longer be visible to them. (the popularity of Discord groups may be the start of such a move.)

However, anti-shipping may never fully go away again. It certainly won’t as long as society in general is so protective of its ideals and so deeply hostile to fellow humans.

*in my experience, adolescence tends to be the definition of ‘always exhausted but ready to fight anyone at any time’.

#abuse mention #web 2.0 is the worst thing to happen to fandom #anti culture #anti shipping is about control #authoritarianism #this is an americentric post #fandom is a reflection of society #freedom vs censorship

[peachaidee]

Ep Ignis ramblings- mostly figured out how a happy ending could work with all the info presented to us vs the edgy sad end theory. Don’t read. spoilers, etc. just trying to make sense of it...

look i love angst and edgy stuff a lot but i dont know why some people automatically went for it in V2. to me, the story and directing was very obvious it was supposed to be a happy ending even though it was very confusing and it was difficult to figure out how it could work. i dont read reddit threads so idk if this has all been said before... just my thoughts.

after going thru V2 carefully a second time im more sure that the happy end could work out from the information given to us. Who is the "mysterious voice"? Most like the Crystal/Eos since it was the only thing around. It also could have been Luna. same VA in credits?? (Ravus did say her job wasn’t done...also great opportunity to slip future story in there for a possible ep luna, the poor girl needs it). 

Anyway, lets just say the mysterious voice was Luna since she is the Oracle. Her powers would allow her to talk about the prophecy spoken by the Crystal/Eos. In V2 when it was being explained to Ignis, she never said Noct had to die. She said as long as the ring was powered up he would ascend, and have enough power to end the scourge, kill Ardyn, and could restore the dawn. This matches with the prophecy Luna tells Noct when they were kids. 

I think some people think V2 can’t be real because we can’t forget as it was drilled into us for the entire game that it was Bahamut’s prophecy that we listened to and some people could not get over the requirement that a blood price needed to be made to fulfill the prophecy. Compare Luna’s prophecy to what Bahamut said in order for the Chosen King to ascend. He needed to have the ring full powered, and he needed the powers of the old kings and it can only be achieved by dying alone. This is a lot of requirements for ascension compared to the basic one told by Luna/Crystal. Now Bahamut...this fucker says as far back in the Omens trailer that a blood price must be paid and shows Regis the entire timeline of Omens playing out. I assume the endgame is the same where Noct destroys the scourge but just in a really terrible way. Terrible enough where Regis was like FUCK THAT and presumably does something to change Noct’s fate and asks the gods to forgive him. We don’t really know exactly what Regis did except for the very obvious action of sending Noct off WITH HIS BROS so he wouldn’t be ALONE.

I think that was the important part. Bahamut’s prophecy had everything from Luna’s/Crystals prophecy. The added parts were, BLOOD SACRIFICE and that it was the chosen king who would make his sacrifice ALONE. We hear this in the main game and it was repeated in Ep Ignis when he was shown the visions in the main route. So, by adding the bros into Noct’s journey, Noct’s fate was dramatically changed but tragically even Regis had to fulfill the prophecy in the end. Maybe everybody thought they had no other choice, the outcome was the same, Noct had to die. Bahamut is the war god that belongs to the Lucians so I guess Lucians have no reason to not listen to him and accept everything he says except for Regis who didn’t want Omens to happen.

So basically...what I think the whole story is about....is that fate changes if you have people to share your burden. Did Ignis have an idea how to change Noct’s fate when he suggested that to him? Maybe, maybe not. He tried by suggesting Noct they stop their journey. But later in Ch. 10 Ignis was 100% committed to Noct’s decision because he repeats Regis’ words and only wishes to stay with Noct. Maybe he knew there was no way to change it and he accepted that all the things shown to him were inevitably going to happen. Noct even cuts Ignis off in the last scene like Noct didn’t want the bros by his side (but he’ll have them in his heart), because Noct accepted Bahamut’s prophecy word for word. That he had to do it alone.

V2 looks like a timeline created by the power of love and friendship even though it hilariously hinges on 1 decision Ignis could have made differently but lets say he made the decision to go with Ardyn because he took 1 second to think things through and not be so recklessly gay to save Noct. Lets say he actually processed his future visions, he would choose the option that he doesn’t do in his visions. He would know that Ardyn couldn’t actually kill Noct right then and there. If he could have a chance to change fate he would go with Ardyn. So he does and this is a great timeline because Ignis actually tries to change fate when nobody did in the main game.

The question then becomes why do the Lucian kings know fate can be changed if Ignis sacrifices himself? Wild speculation here but it could be Regis' doing convincing the council to let Ignis sacrifice himself for the ring’s power knowing that fate can be changed that way because he did it himself earlier. Or Bahamut and the Lucian kings are assholes which we know already from Kingsglaive and the like... So did they already know about Luna’s/crystals prophecy? Maybe Bahamut added blood sacrifice and the requirement to do it alone to his prophecy because he's an edgy fuck and has no friends. Bahamut could have told Noct that he could sacrifice any one of his pure-hearted friends in his place but obviously Noct would never ever do that and would die for them all so Bahamut probably thought to make it efficient, only the Chosen King has to die it will be easy.  OR, it is also entirely possible that through the events of Kingsglaive, Regis was sacrificing himself to change Noct’s fate.

By the magic power and love and friendship, Noct is able to heal Ignis using the Crystal. He was very determined in this timeline to fulfil his duty compared to the main game where he struggled and was confused in front of the crystal. He only puts on the ring kind of reluctantly in the main game but manages to do it to save Prompto. In V2 he puts it on immediately to save Ignis since he was actively dying. So sweet how in one timeline, Noct buckles up to save Prompto and in the other, to save Ignis. 

During V2′s 10 year gap I was very happy to see the bros sticking together more. In the main game and in Comrades it was mentioned that they don’t spend a lot of time together but this timeline had a kind of uplifting feel and the bros felt like they had a better sense of purpose and a better plan with how to deal with the long night. At then at the last battle Noctis had all the bros +1 at his side. He had them walk tall TOGETHER, sharing the burden. I believe that was the message. If you have good friends, if you love deeply and let them share your burdens you can change fate. Of course sacrifices need to be made but you don’t have to do it alone. This is why I think at the end everyone lives. Additional detail is that Noct was still wearing the ring when it was destroyed in the main game.

Some people think V2 retcons all of Ep Prompto which I get...Ardyn uses Ignis as bait instead of Prompto but you can use your imagination to try and keep Prompto’s character development. Like, if Prompto never got into the facility, maybe Verstael would still be alive and he would have sent out all his weapons anyway? Like chase Ravus’ airship down with machines. Or maybe Ardyn wanted to fuck with Ravus and gang anyway and let Verstael do his Ghost in the Shell thing. As far as Ardyn knew, Noct still had the ring so maybe he wanted to stir up shit so Noct would finally wear it. Ravus probably could have told Prompto about his origins if they ever ran into Verstael. I feel like Ravus would know about it.

This ending did feel a bit rushed but overall it felt more like the general theme of FF games where friendship is the best and you say fuck you to fate/religion and it seems right that ffxv showed us that thru different timelines. of course this is how i rationalize everything ignoring that this was supposed to be an entirely different game 10 years, even 3 years ago and even playing Comrades I could tell they couldn’t keep the game and Kingsglaive consistent. Episode Ignis was supposed to be the last of the DLCs until they confirmed they were making more by popular demand. And to me Ep Ignis did feel like it was the end by showing V2. Because of the game’s disastrous release schedule the game ended up so messy but i think the ffxv team tried their best to tie in everything. From Omens which people speculated were story elements from vs XIII, to the main game and them confirming AU exists or that Noct’s dreams are actually real in a way. I felt like V2 was a possibility of a happy ending so I don’t see it as some dark twisted bittersweet ending. Nothing against people who do, its all good fun. I was left feeling so satisfied I actually don’t mind if they stop DLCs. But since they’re making more I feel like they can do a good job because they said they’re taking their time with these future DLCs to make sure they’re good. I hope they can explore another timeline where this time they can save Luna or something. She honestly has it the worst.

tl;dr: fuck Bahamut honestly. Also what he does in Comrades is fucked up

#. #ffxv #ep ignis #ffxv spoilers #episode ignis

[comeandlistensmalltalker-blog]

Piecing Myself Back Together: Years of Accommodation to White Privilege

I am trying to re-integrate myself into speaking up and standing up for myself more effectively.  Black Lives Matter has been effective in getting me moved and off my ass and asking myself hard questions.  I have been asleep in my mind, heart, and spirit.  At home, with my partner and friends, we get fired up talking about white privilege, whiteness, and social issues, etc.  But I feel I am yelling into an echo chamber and hearing back exactly what I want to hear.  However, when I am put on the spot and I must stand up for my opinions and beliefs when it comes to social issues, I practically buckle at the knees and have a hard time legitimizing my arguments, like it goes into the abyss and becomes void. 

For example, my partner and I developed a deal with our neighbor to raise and share chickens so we can split labor, eggs, and progress into a stronger community that can depend on each other.  Most recently, they just got tenants living downstairs of their home and forgot to let their tenants know that my partner and I will be going in and out of the back yard to take care of the chickens.  For context, my girlfriend is white and I am brown.  Back to the story, we went to feed the chickens and when I walked out of the backyard to head home before my partner, I made eye contact and waved at the boyfriend in a friendly manner and went home.  Within the next 15 or so minutes, my partner and I got a text that there was someone with a black hoodie in the backyard that was suspicious.  I said out loud, “Fucking christ, that was me, the nearest brown person in the neighborhood.”  Mind you, there are Filipinos, Asian, and Black people in this neighborhood.  This specific corner is white people and because there is a brown person in this communal corner, I am “suspicious”.  We let our neighbor know that it was us.  To further the context, the neighbors  told the tenants they were happy they were there to watch the house.  So, I get it, they were doing their duty in watching the house.  As a brown person, I did not want my girlfriend to network what happened through a text message with the neighbors and the neighbors to tippy toe with their tenants.  I felt I needed to say something and advocate for myself and say something directly.  What we lack in this day in age is confrontation and conflict directly with people.  I felt moved to go to the house and say something.

So, my partner and I went over to the house and I knocked on the door.  My heart was racing, I was scared, but I had to say something, cause I knew if I didn’t say anything, then my day would be fucked and I’d be caring that shit all day long.  

The boyfriend and girlfriend answered the door and I said, “Hey, I’m that brown person with the black hoodie you called the landlord about, that was suspicious.” They said, “what? What are you talking about?”  I responded, “we just got a text message that there was a complaint about a person with a black hoodie that was suspicious.  So, I decided to come here to let you know we go in and out of the back yard to feed and water the chickens.  However, I think if it were my girlfriend who is white walking out of the gate then you would have not reported her at all.”  He interrupted, “that is the most absurd thing you could accuse us for with no context.  We are not….we are not...racist.  That was not a race thing at all.”  I interrupted, “no, let me finish, you did not hear and are not listening to me.  This is not new to me, this happens in whatever white neighborhood I am, like, I need to have a permission slip to be here in order not to be considered “suspicious”.  He interrupts, “I know things are heated but we did not even call the cops”.  I responded, “see that is exactly what I mean, I know you did not call the cops, but you felt inclined to call the landlords and report me as “suspicious”.  I literally was standing right there, made eye contact with you and waved and you said hi back and I moved along.  If you felt I was suspicious, you should have talked to me directly and not reported me.”  He interrupts, “how would you feel if someone was in your backyard and you saw someone come from there, would you have reported them? We did not know you and did not see your face so we followed you back to your house and saw you walk into your house.  We did not know who you were.”  At this point, I was feeling heated and angry, “You are not hearing me or understanding what I am saying. What you did was hurtful and makes me feel gaslighted that my experience feels invalid and not real.”  He interrupts, “yeah but,” and then my partner interrupts, “can you just listen to what they’re saying to you now.  You need to not say anything but to listen and just hear what they’re saying.  This is intent vs impact right now.  Your intention was to watch the house and yard and that is totally legitimate.  When you say things are heated right now, things are heated for them every day.  It is their every day that they have to deal with racial bias.  Whether you know it or not, your racial bias that is innately programmed to be suspicious of POC instead of white people.  They interrupt, “but we were not being...rrrr. Racist.  We just did not see your face, we did not know who you were and we followed you home to see where you came from but we did not mean it in anyway or thought of it as racist, we were just watching the house” I responded, “I need you to hear what you are saying and doing is hurtful whether you know it or not.  Whether you understand this or not, I am telling you what you did was hurtful.  He tries to interrupt.  I continue, “let me finish what i have to say.  I am not sorry I knocked on your door and told you how I felt.  I am telling you what you did and said is hurtful whether you understand it or not.  I could have ignored the text to the landlords and carried a shitty attitude for the rest of the day and created resent me toward you and you would have never known it.  We live in the same neighborhood, we will continue to see each other and interact with each other with our neighbors.” He interrupts, “I have nothing against that” I speak up, “don’t interrupt me.  I had to say something and speak up for myself.  Conflict is scary and speaking up for myself is scary but I had to say something to you and let you know what you did was hurtful.”  We stood there for a second and Boyfriend says, “I don’t think you’ve changed your mind in how you feel” and my partner says, “right now, just take what they had to say.  They were generous and vulnerable to take the time to express and explain what they experienced with your intention and how it impacted them.  Just take that, and don’t say anything at all but let that sink in and think about it.  This conversation does not have to be resolved right now but let’s just take this situation in for all of its complexity and accept it for what it is.”  

Afterwards, I went to our backyard yard with tears in my eyes and full of frustration.  I get mad at myself for being emotional and vulnerable in a confrontation.  It annoys me that I feel I can’t hold myself together.  That my emotions and feelings make my argument and points void because I showed emotion.  I told my partner that it is insane that a white cis gendered couple is a powerhouse because anything and everything about race and conflict is deflected and considered void and I feel crazy cause maybe what I felt was not real.  But, my partner reminded me that my experience is not made up and racial bias is real.  That white privilege is so real that white people swim in it that they don’t even know they are functioning in a position of power and white people are scared of being called racist that they go in complete defensive and deflection mode that they do not hear the experience of the person who is experiencing racism and it does make the person calling it out feel crazy when their words and experiences get twisted and pulled into circles.  

The funny thing is, earlier that day, I told my girlfriend that when I do visit friends in white neighborhoods, it is not uncommon to ask for a written note with an address and signature to state that I am a friend and visitor and not an intruder, to ensure that I do not get the cops called on me or reported to neighborhood watch.  That getting a text from the neighbors that there is a suspicious person with a hoodie was directed toward me validated that even in our own neighborhoods and homes, racism is alive and real.  That yes, if there was someone coming out of my own backyard I would do something about it, such as make conversation, not interrogate or make phone calls or follow them home.  Creepy AF.  I hope they thought about their actions and swam in their white anxiety of being racist, even if they legitimized and bare down they did nothing wrong.  

This is what I need.  I need to plug in a community with other POC and not just share each other’s stories in how we experience discrimination and racism but to rehearse conflict revolution and deal with shit that white people say when they’re deflecting their racism.  Cause getting gaslighted is so toxic and disheartening, I need to connect with POC folk to work through this shit and get stronger in conflict because this is the work we have to do and move through whether white people do it or not.  I need to have my shield and words ready to stick up for myself because I have been silent.  I have been accommodating.  I have taken the side lines to be nice to the white experience.  But I can’t do that anymore.  No more gas lighting that they’re “collaborating” by projecting and controlling safe spaces, no more shaming that I’m messing up “the vibe man” or gasping, “I can’t believe you just did that!”  Aka a Karen making a scene in the grocery story that I “cut” in front of her and she had to make a scene that I was being violent toward her, at a grocery line. 

 I still hear, “well if that was me I would have said/done, XYZ”  it’s like, damn it, STF.  With respect, you were not there and you’re not being a resource right now by projecting your superhero “what if” stories.  It serves nothing.  Stop pushing aside my experience and projecting a superhero vibe that serves only your image of yourself and not the person actually experiencing it.  Don’t tell me how you would have said this or done that, blah blah blah.  

So, the journey continues, it is seeking and creating a safe space for POC to pool together racist experiences and identify stereotypical deflections and work on how to deflate and disempower them in order to feel empowered, uplifted, and not crazy for it.  Far too often, when we speak up, we are alone and more often than not, no one speaks up with you (fortunate my girlfriend was there to validate my experience and be part of the conversation with the tenants).  In order to feel confident to speak up, I want to create or find a group or if there are already resources out there, I want to be part of a group that rehearses conflict resolution and direct action.  Even if it is exhausting, it is important to have a tool kit programmed and rooted with confidence and fearlessness.

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

There’s a number of things that get passed around about firearms, even among shooters, that bear some consideration. Some of them truly deserve their own articles, but meantime, here’s a few that I hear and see pretty regularly passed around on the range, in gun stores, on forums, and in articles and videos.

Brandishing A Gun Scares Off Bad Guys

I tend to brush off legalities of self-defense, because if I’m pulling a gun, it’s the potential of life or death anyway and I’m willing to face repercussions – as well as potential retribution attempts from the deceased’s family/friends/community.

However, for those who like the “flash it” theory of scaring off would-be thieves or possible assailants, do be aware that in some jurisdictions, it’s illegal. In some, without actual threat of violence predicating it, it’s considered assault with a deadly weapon.

As far as the sound of a pump gun or facing a gaping maw sending bad guys running in fear … don’t count on it.

Before we pull a gun, we need to be ready to use it. If it’s not worth killing or dying over – killing, because “shoot to wound” is another fallacy – that gun needs to stay in our holster, vehicle, closet, etc.

When we pull a gun, or even print or gesture a willingness to shoot, we have just escalated the level of violence.

This puts whoever we’re facing in a high-level threat situation. There are three responses to threats: Fight, Flight, & Freeze.

Only one of those three actually leads to a result we want if we’re trying to scare our bad guy into leaving.

Not myth. Not supposition. Not conjecture. Not projecting. For-real 100% documented solid fact: “Fight” is a common response when people feel threatened, whether they “deserve it” or not.

It’s why higher-level defensive shooting training actually includes retention and disarming tactics. It’s also why the upper-level daily gun-toting professionals spend so much time learning to de-escalate a situation, and avoid escalations in threat – even in the military.

There’s not really much statistical chance you actually land on the loaded cartridge in Russian Roulette. Most of us still wouldn’t risk it.

Don’t risk it by counting on a show of force dispelling trouble, either.

Pulling or intentionally drawing attention to a firearm should be a last resort.

It should never be done with the expectation that it will scare somebody away and that will be that, all done, no bloodshed or screaming today.

If you’re not willing to kill or be killed, and willing to expose family and bystanders to crossfire, right then, over whatever the (possible) offense is, leave it be.

(Same goes for loading a gun with rock salt, powder bombs, bean bags, blanks, rubber bullets/shot, etc. We have to be able and willing to back it up, or we need to leave it alone.)

Preppers Must Get A Battle Rifle … and, Soon/Early

Only if you’re planning to ride into battle. Even then, only if the most-likely scenarios are already covered.

For many, a defensive pistol is likely to be more practical and thus a higher priority. We’re more likely to have it on us, every day or End of Days, because it’s lighter, smaller, and easier to carry and work while carrying.

If it’s not on us when we need it, whatever we’re doing, wherever we are, we might as well spend the money and skills development elsewhere.

A shotgun is another practical option, every day or End of Days, for home defense, walking into the wilds if that’s the plan, urban combat, property defense, and a wide range of hunting possibilities even with a shorty designed for working corners and close quarters.

If we do feel like a battle rifle is a biggie, try to get one with the accuracy to cross purpose into hunting, whether it’s new high-speed poly or an old surplus we can hack and chop to 1/2 or 2/3 the weight.

Some of the hunting rifles (and surplus bolt guns) have reasonable conversions to detachable mags and extended mags, and can fill a lot of the battle rifle roles if we really want to go that road.

Women & Small People Should Get 20-gauge Shotguns

Not necessarily. A shotgun’s action type and weight, the specific model and even era/age of that model, and the shell(s) loaded are going to play equal or bigger roles in experienced recoil.

My 1960-1970’s and 2010 break-action 20-gauges feel the exact same as my 12-gauge 1931 Model 97 and 1980’s 870 and my nephew’s 2015 Maverick. My 12-gauge 1990’s-2000’s Nova shoots lighter than any of them for bird shot, but with goose, buck, or slug loads – big grrrr-girl or not – oh, ow.

I’ve played on other people’s much more expensive auto loaders 12-gauges that feel like total whispers even with those goose and buck loads and slugs, and others that are so light they go back to the “hell no” of the Nova and ’97.

The tradeoff in shell variety, pellets-per-shell, range, and sourcing easy-to-upgrade platforms outweighs the differences for most adults.

We can have stocks fitted with pads, weigh stocks with lead shot or fishing weights, and choose lower-recoil shells to reduce experienced recoil. There are some particularly slim, petite people who would still do better with a child’s model in 20-ga., but if it’s at all manageable, the 12-gauge is a better choice.

(This lady breaks down action selection really well here http://norcalcazadora.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-choose-shotgun-for-hunting.html, and is also a proponent of 12’s for women, which she details elsewhere.)

Revolvers Are Safer/Better For Self-Defense Carry Than Semi-autos

There’s numerous arguments to this theme.

One is that because you have to cock the hammer of a revolver, it’s less likely to be fired accidentally/prematurely – as opposed to “just” pulling the trigger for a pistol.

I assume the ones who propose such have never heard of double-action revolvers or considered the possibility of an exposed/external hammer being cocked by a scuffle or by clothing or hands in the draw phase.

(A gun is a gun is a gun and should be handled and treated with respect – if only two rules are followed, there would never be an accidental shooting.)

A second is that a revolver is faster/easier to deploy in self-defense because you have to work the slide of a semi-auto.

That threw me for a while. Turns out, it stems from an apparently not-uncommon resistance to holstering a pistol that is ready to fire. That’s a training and familiarity issue, and ignores the many CCW/W&C civilians, security guards, cops, and military who do it daily with no issues.

It also ignores the possibility of holstering a ready-to-use double-action revolver.

If you’re not ready (read: comfortable enough) to carry hot, you’re not ready to carry in public, period. Train to build the confidence in safe handling.

There’s also a few that stem from the likelihood of mechanical failures, particularly in cold weather.

Since Arctic Circle cops and military keep semi-autos working in some seriously gnarly conditions, we can pretty well write off the latter.

The former is, actually, more of a risk. The more moving parts something has, the more likely it is to have a failure in one of those parts.

On the other hand, if your firearm is (reasonably) clean, checked for wear – just like we should be checking springs and pins in our revolvers – and you’re using the usual ammo (1911s, .22LRs), you should be okay.

It’s only “more” of a risk, not “risky”. We also risk more driving to work in the fog and super bright days than “normal” days, and buying supermarket greens instead of growing our own.

*I in no way hate revolvers and think they actually have some specific better-best circumstances … just not safety or reliability vs. semis.

Persisting Myths

These are just a few of the most common and most persistent “truths” that get passed around.

One of my other absolute favorites is that modern revolvers should still sit on an empty chamber (there’s a safety bar to prevent dropping/slapping causing the hammer to send the firing pin forward). The newly spreading insistence that every gun should “fit” each shooter is another head-scratcher, given how many of us own a standard-stock 10/22s, served with fixed-stock rifles (and still do), and swap or inherited firearms that perform well.

I also love the apparent belief that at household distances shotguns never miss, and the near-on “one shot one kill” mental image so many ascribe to combat and defensive situations (versus police hit rates of <50% and the averages of 10 K to 250 K shots fired per each enemy KIA in various modern war eras and guerrilla actions).

There are plenty of others out there. I’d rather not get into the political-oriented idiocies or caliber debates, but if you have a favorite myth that involves ownership, use, and safety, feel free to throw it in the comments.

It won’t step on my toes at all – I’d far rather have mistruths dispelled than have them linger.

If you have a question about some truth that gets passed around about firearms, throw that in the ring, too. You are almost assuredly not the only one with that question.

And I promise you, bottom of my heart, from behind the counter and standing in front of classes, unless you start with “but I…” and get “Red Dawn” and “Call of Duty” in the same sentence, it is not even in the running for the most ridiculous legitimate question ever heard. Promise.

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