#anyway watch that level and think about how someone like me. whos already a scaredy cat! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

panharmonium · 3 years

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THAT is the importance of an adult who Understands.

one of the things that i always come back to when i think about sasuke is that sasuke has virtually everybody in the village fooled. you couldn’t find a more messed up kid in all the hidden leaf if you tried, but you wouldn’t know it to look at him, because he can’t afford to acknowledge or display weakness - firstly, because weakness means he isn’t strong enough to take on itachi, and secondly, because signs of struggle on sasuke’s part might mean that an authority figure tries to involve themself in his life, and sasuke doesn’t want anyone interfering in something he sees as a personal quest. he doesn’t see himself as a child who needs to be looked after by adults; he sees himself as an adult in a frustratingly small body, and he wants all the other adults to leave him alone and let him do what he needs to do. he doesn’t want meddling. he wants everyone who has the power to potentially keep him from getting what he most desires to remain oblivious to his true state of mind, to not look too closely, to never see a child in distress, because if he ever lets on that he doesn’t have his shit together, it’s possible that one of the leaf’s less negligent grown-ups will swoop down on him and start trying to intervene/“parent” him, which to sasuke’s mind just means “get in the way.”

sasuke, who has long felt like he’s already an adult dealing with adult problems, won’t tolerate that. so he masks his issues, to the point where he has virtually everyone around him completely deceived. his regular schoolteachers don’t worry about him - he’s a high achiever, he gets perfect grades, he’s top of his class in everything, he doesn’t make trouble. his classmates don’t worry about him - they buy the ‘i’m so cool, nothing fazes me’ act and worship at his feet, even as he demonstrates that he wants nothing to do with them. the rest of the leaf village doesn’t worry about him, either - they see him as a source of village pride (and a source of entertainment/drama, like when they’re all so excited to watch The Last Uchiha fight for their nation during the chunin exams). even though sasuke is so messed up on the inside, the exterior facade he presents to people is specifically designed to prevent any wondering about how he’s doing. as far as the world can see, he’s doing Just Fine (and while everyone is busy not wondering about his health, he can get down to the business of getting his revenge).

sasuke’s strategy for relating to other people is, essentially, the opposite of naruto’s approach. naruto, in his early childhood, draws as much attention to himself as possible, causing all sorts of mayhem, in the hope that someone, somewhere will see him. he makes trouble and causes problems precisely because he desperately wants someone to acknowledge his pain, and that’s how he ends up landing iruka as an adult support figure, because iruka notices what’s happening and decides to get involved. sasuke, in contrast to naruto, doesn’t want anyone to acknowledge or even notice his pain, because if they do notice it, they might try to stop him from pursuing what he thinks is the only way to alleviate it. that’s not an acceptable outcome for him, so instead of making a scene and calling attention to himself, he hides in plain sight.

sasuke doesn’t want people to get involved in his life. he wants to be left to his own devices. he doesn’t think he needs (read: deserves) anybody’s help, and some tiny part of him knows that a Responsible Adult might raise their eyebrows at what he’s doing to himself, so he uses his “high-achiever, too cool for school” persona to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. and he almost succeeds - until kakashi enters the picture. kakashi, who can’t be fooled. kakashi, who has known from Day One, Minute One exactly what goal is driving all of sasuke’s high achievement, and who knows that sasuke is NOT okay, in either the head or the heart. kakashi, who in the above gifset can tell that sasuke is having a crisis without even turning around. kakashi doesn’t need to be shown evidence before he gets concerned. he’s known from the very start that sasuke is struggling, because he lived through similar pains and tried to cope with them in similarly unhealthy ways (remember: “useless things like emotions only get in the way”/“having too many ties in this world will only lead you astray” + “everyone you’re talking about has already been killed”/“they’re all dead...because i wasn’t strong enough to save them”).

sasuke still tries to put up the front. a few scenes prior to the above gifset, sasuke is the one who is making fun of naruto for freezing up - you’re not hurt, are you...scaredy-cat. and he completely fools his peers with his attitude - sakura’s got stars in her eyes, naruto’s super jealous; both of them think sasuke’s So Cool and Super Powerful and Not Afraid of Anything!

but when sasuke himself is confronted with a serious, imminent threat to his life (one against which his supposedly “advanced” skills are useless, one from which he can’t protect himself; aka, one where he’s suddenly reminded that he’s actually a twelve year-old genin and his safety is out of his control, just like it was the night his family was murdered), he’s the one who panics. the other kids are scared, too - but sasuke completely loses it. he almost kills himself to get away from the intensity of his fear. *cough* it’s the ptsd *cough* but anyway -

kakashi is able to sense this without even turning around. he’s preparing to fight an aggressor under the least ideal circumstances possible - they were supposed to be on a mission where it was four people protecting one man, but because tazuna lied to them, they’re now in a situation where it’s one man protecting four people, including three children - and even with all of that competing for his attention, kakashi is still focusing closely enough on each individual kid to sense that sasuke is going off the rails. without even turning around, he knows.

we all remember this, right?

it doesn’t matter how much of an act sasuke puts on. kakashi has been there. he knows better. he can’t be fooled. he calls for sasuke by name and pulls him back from the brink.

kakashi interrupts this crisis so effectively. not only is he able to snap sasuke out of his panic, but he’s also careful to then extend his reassurance to everyone present, accomplishing the dual purposes of calming everyone else down and also redirecting attention away from sasuke’s more extreme reaction, which the others haven’t noticed yet. it’s deftly done. it addresses sasuke’s crisis on an individual level without putting him in the spotlight. it works. the way sasuke relaxes in that last gif...man.

calm down. i’ll protect you with my life.

i’ve already talked a little bit about how much it would mean for somebody with sasuke’s particular history to hear that (especially when those words are spoken by an adult who follows through on the promise every single time), but here i just want to focus on the fact that the only reason sasuke is lucky enough to receive this reassurance in the first place is because kakashi isn’t fooled by sasuke pretending he doesn’t need to hear it. kakashi and the kids are very new to each other at this point, but even so, kakashi still understands sasuke better than any other adult in the hidden leaf. he’s the first authority figure who sasuke hasn’t been able to trick into obliviousness - sasuke can’t pretend away his problems in front of someone who used to have all those same problems himself! kakashi is too savvy to be waved away with the whole ‘i’m super advanced for my age i don’t need any help don’t look behind my mask’ charade. kakashi invented that game. he knows it’s one you don’t want to win. he won it himself, when he played it, and winning just meant that everybody took him at his word when he acted like he was fine and nobody ever gave him the kind of help he needed. he’s not going to let another kid get away with the same self-destructive shenanigans, not when he’s around to call their bluffs and be the kind of support structure he himself could’ve benefited from when he was younger.

#naruto #pan watches naruto #meta #he's like me #*#haven't written tracts upon tracts of thoughts about these two for a couple days so you knew it was coming #i think about kakashi calling for sasuke in this moment at least once a day #the utter certainty in his voice when he tells sasuke 'calm down. i'll protect you with my life'#sasuke has never ever had anybody talk to him like that in his life #the dramatic change in his expression in that last gif......the Relief #for a first brief moment in five years sasuke feels.......................safe #literally i will NEVER be over kakashi managing to reach this kid #who thinks he's too strong to need adult assistance and in too much pain for anyone to ever understand #'i DO know how you feel'#every single day i think about that #the power behind 'trust me'#especially where i'm at in the show now #when sasuke has never been able to trust ANY of the adults in his life #his parents; itachi; his own community's government; orochimaru; 'madara'#everybody lying to him or using him for something #for him to have one adult who said from the very beginning #'my first priority is your safety. i will die before anything happens to you'#and for that person to make good on that statement again and again #that means so much #even if sasuke can't recognize it right now #someday......he'll see more clearly

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

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Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Laito Route ー Chapter 4

ー The scene starts on the Carnival’s venue

Male Vampire A: Oi, we have to hurry or we won’t make it on time for the Carnival’s finale, you know?

Female Vampire A: Let’s hurry! This doesn’t happen every day, so I want to watch it from a good angle!

Laito: ...You heard them?

Yui: The Carnival’s finale...

Which means the Carnival is almost over?

In that case, even though I don’t know what exactly happens during the finale,

we should probably hurry up and head back to the castle as well, huh...?

Laito: Eeh~? What are you saying?

If the Carnival is going the end, we definitely shouldn’t be returning to the castle right now!

Yui: Eh...!? What do you mean...?

Laito: In~ other~ words~! While the Carnival is still ongoing...

We have to make sure to enjoy it to the fullest!

That being said, come on! Let’s go over there! Right there! I bet we’ll have a blast!

Yui: Eeh!? B-But...Can we just act of our own accord?

Laito: Of course we can! As long as the Queen has a good time. Nfu~

Come on, hurry~

*Thud*

Yui: Wait, Laito-kun! Don’t push me so strongly...!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: ( Laito-kun dragged me over here but...Where are we...? )

Laito: Nfu~ This is Saint Nore Park. By human standards, I suppose you would call this an amusement park?

As to be expected of the Carnival, this place is bustling with energy as well.

Well then, Bitch-chan, since we’re here now, why don’t we try out one of the rides?

Come on, take a look. It seems like all attractions have granted the customers special entrance for the Carnival.

Which one should we pick...? They all look fun, it really makes it hard to choose, huh?

Yui: Uhm...

( He said ‘fun’ but...As to be expected of the Demon World, all of them seem kind of creepy in one way or another... )

Laito: Ah! Hey, how about that one? ‘Berawecka’s castle’.

Looks like it’s similar to what would be called a haunted house in the human world!

Yui: H-Haunted house? They have those here in the Demon World too...?

Laito: Of course. But you know, they’re on a totally different level from the boring (1) haunted houses made by humans...

I’m sure the two of us will be able to enjoy it. ...In various ways, you see? Nfu~

Yui: ( A haunted house, huh...? )

Selection

→ Seems fun! (☾)

Yui: A haunted house from the Demon World sounds like a blast!

Laito: Right~? As to be expected of Bitch-chan! I knew you’d say that!

→ I’ll pass

Yui: I-I’ll pass on that!

( It screams danger! ...Laito-kun more so than the ghosts themselves. )

Laito: Eeeh~? Geez, Bitch-chan, you’re such a scaredy cat...

And here I was thinking of comforting you after you got frightened by the haunted house, you see?

Yui: ( ...Seems like I was spot on. )

Magician A: Excuse me. If you have a spare minute, would you like to see a magic trick?

Clown A: Oi oi. A Vampire should have plenty of time on hands, right? Wait...Huh...?

...Seems like this young lady over here isn’t a Vampire.

Yui: ...

Clown A: But rest assured!

We will show you a magic trick so amazing, you will not regret using some of your limited time on it!

...What do you say? Hihi~

Yui: ( ...! This Clown...He looks normal at first glance, but he’s kind of spooky... )

*Rustle*

Laito: Excuse me, Mr. Clown? Could I ask you to kindly refrain from getting too close to my Queen Bitch?

Magician A: Queen? Then, could this human lady possibly be...?

Laito: Exactly. She’s the star of this year’s Carnival! So you better not make any mistakes!

Magician A: I see. In that case, I have even more reason to give you a spectacular showing!

Well then, let us start with this steel case...Go ahead, Clown, get inside.

*THUD*

Magician A: There, why don’t we stab the case with this sword repeatedly?

Yui: ( S-Stab repeatedly...? )

*Cling*

Clown A: Eeeeek~! Save me~! Hihi~

*STAB*

Clown A: Gyaaaah~! He got me~!

*STAB*

Clown A: I’m gonna die~!

Laito: Eeh~? Is this a magic trick? If you’re a Vampire, you won’t die when stabbed anyway.

Magician A: Mister, why don’t you try and stab him right through the heart through that hole over there?

Laito: I don’t usually make it a habit to mess with a random clown I don’t know though...There!

*STAB*

Clown A: Gyaaaaah!

Yui: ...!?

Magician A: Well then, let us set the steel case on fire next! There!

ー The case is set on fire

Laito: Eeh? You’re gonna burn him on top of stabbing him through the heart?

Ahaha! This is amazing! Demon or not, one wrong move and he might actually die!

Yui: This isn’t a laughing matter!

Magician A: Well then, what could have possibly become of the Clown? Behold...

ー He opens the case

*Creaaak*

Laito: Oh dear~? It’s empty. Did he burn up?

Yui: N-No way!

Magician A: Fufu. No need to worry, Miss. Oh dear? Who could that be standing behind you...?

Clown A: Look here, the Clown has come to haunt you~!

Yui: Kyaah!

Clown A: Just kidding~ Hihi~

Laito: Heeh~! Amazing! When did you get out of there?

Magician A: I hope you are convinced of our skill now? Well then, while we’re at it...

Miss, would you be willing to help out with our next act?

Yui: Eh? ...Me?

Magician A: Yes. You won’t be asked to do anything difficult. All you have to do is step inside that black coffin over there.

Laito: Hmm~ Why not? Give it your best shot, Bitch-chan!

Yui: If that’s all I have to do. ...Okay then.

Magician A: Thank you very much. Well then, Miss, this way, please.

*Rustle*

*THUD*

ー The screen fades to black

Yui: ( Uwah, everything turned pitch black the moment he shut me inside... )

( I wonder what kind of magic trick he’ll do...? )

???: ーー I’ve been waiting.

Yui: ...!? I-Is somebody there?

( ...? ...What’s happening? ...I suddenly feel drowsy...Laito-kun, save me... )

ー Yui collapses

Magician A: Well then, we shall have her disappear into thin air now. Take a look! There!

ー The coffin opens again

Laito: ...! Bitch-chan is!?

Clown A: Oh dear! What a surprise! Who would have guessed the young lady would turn into a stuffed rabbit!? Hihi~

Magician A: As you can see, she is nowhere to be seen!

Laito: Amazing! Bitch-chan actually disappeared! How did you do that?

It doesn’t seem like this cute little bunny is actually Bitch-chan...

Magician A: Oh no, I am extremely glad all of you enjoyed it. Well then, this marks the end of our magic show.

Laito: ...Eh? The end? What about Bitch-chan...?

Clown A: Who knows~ Hihi~

*Flap flap flap*

Laito: Wha...!? Familiars!? They were just posing as a magician and a clown!? What is going on...!?

*Flap flap flap*

Laito: Wait, hold it! Who is behind this!?

*Flip*

Laito: Hm...? What’s this...? A letter...? ‘To the King of the Carnival’ it says...

*Flip*

Laito: ...! No wonder I thought something was fishy about all of this...!

I have to hurry! Bitch-chan will...!

ー Laito runs off

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ...Uu...Nn...Where am I...?

Maid A: Miss, we have been awaiting your arrival. Someone unexpectedly got in the way the last time after all.

Yui: Huh...? You’re that person from before...

( She’s the kind maid who promised to show me the way to the castle...Right? )

Maid A: Fufu. I am grateful you remember me.

I wanted to sit down and enjoy a chat with you like this.

With you, who is the Queen of the Carnival...

And the beloved of that man who used me...to his heart’s content!

ー She suddenly lunges towards Yui

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyaah! W-What!? Let me go!

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( What is she talking about...? )

Maid A: ...Stop struggling!

I was able to give up on him because he said he would never truly love someone...However...

You are loved by him...I can’t allow that...

I definitely won’t!

ー The maid tries to cut Yui with a knife

*Swoosh*

Yui: Kyah!

*Rustle*

Yui: ( ...Was that...a knife just now...? )

( E-Either way, I have to get out of here... )

Maid A: Hold it!

Yui: No!

( Laito-kun, save me...! )

ー Yui runs away towards the ballroom

Yui: W-Where am I...!? ...Kyaah!

*Swoosh*

Maid A: Haah...You’re quick to flee, aren’t you? However, you’ve reached a dead end.

On top of that, this is the Demon World...Who in their right mind would take the side of a human!?

Give up already! Ahaha!

*Swoosh*

Yui: No! Save me! ...Laito-kun!!

ー Laito comes running as if on cue

Laito: Hey! Stay away from her!

Yui: !?

Yui: L-Laito-kun!

( He actually came to my rescue! )

Laito: Say, Miss Maid. I don’t know what exactly is going on, but she’s not the one you bear a grudge against. I am, no?

Maid A: ...Laito-sama...!

Laito: If I did something to you, I’ll apologize. I’m sorry, okay? So please,spare her!

Or is just an apology not enough? What do I need to do for you to forgive me?

Maid A: ...I never thought I’d hear Laito-sama apologize to me...!

Is she...

...really that important to you!?

Laito: Of course! She is my precious Bitch-chan after all! There is nobody who could ever replace her.

Yui: ( Laito-kun...! )

Laito: However, she is a human, you see. Unlike us Vampires, she dies so very easily.

So please, could you put away that dangerous thing you’re holding in your hand right now?

Maid A: ...

Laito: I’m begging you. Also, please stop making that scary face?

Tonight we’re celebrating the once-a-year carnival after all...Okay?

Maid A: ...As to be expected, Laito-sama.

Yui: ( Amazing...! Laito-kun actually managed to convince her... )

*Clap clap clap*

Yui: Eh...? The people around us...What suddenly got into everyone?

Laito: ...Haah, I see. So I was right after all. I thought something smelled fishy.

Shuu: Haah...Try and put yourself in our position, being forced to play along with this ridiculous farce.

Yui: Shuu-san!? And...The others too!

Laito: We’re the ones who suffered the most! You guys knew everything but didn’t say a thing? Why?

Shuu: ...Like I know. Here, this is a letter from Father.

Yui: Hold on...! I have no idea what is going on!?

Laito: Let’s see...? ‘I planned the Carnival wanting to celebrate Adam and Eve.’

‘However, a regular Carnival would be far too dull, so I set up a few shenanigans.’

‘You two are the stars of tonight. Enjoy it to your heart’s content.’ ...It reads.

In short...This is another example of one of his little ‘games’ going too far?

Yui: Eeh!? In that case...Everything down to me getting kidnapped...

Ruki: Exactly. Everything is the result of the plan that man set up for you two.

Laito: Haah, he really is such a pain in the ass. Even though he’s supposed to be the Vampire King, you know?

ー The maid walks up to Yui

Maid A: ...Eve.

I am truly sorry for scaring you earlier.

Yui: Eh!? Uhm...

Maid A: Like the others explained right now, I acted entirely according to Karlheinz’ orders...

The part about me being tossed aside by Laito-sama was all just made up as well. Please rest assured.

Well, it seems like Laito-sama himself had long seen through my lies.

Yui: ...Really?

Laito: Pretty much~ Even someone like me can at least remember the faces of the people I have messed around with or not.

Besides, I noticed way back that this maid was working for that person.

Maid A: ...!

You realized that much?

Laito: I realized when we first saw you in town. You somehow seemed familiar to me~

That’s when it hit me. I wasn’t quite sure what he had planned, but I knew that man had something in store for us.

Yui: ( I see...Everything was an act thought out by Laito-kun’s Father... )

Haah...I’m glad...

Laito: Aah, Bitch-chan. But don’t get the wrong idea, okay?

All of this might have been nothing but an act put together by that man.

But the things I said to that Maid just now...Those were all my true feelings.

Yui: Eh?

Laito: Eeh~? Don’t tell me you weren’t listening? Guess it can’t be helped...

ー He moves closer

*Rustle*

Laito: You are my oh-so precious Bitch-chan, remember?

Yui: ...Laito-kun...

Reiji: ...Well then. Raise your glass. The party has yet to begin.

Kou: Exactly! Congratulations, M-neko-chan! Oh, you too I guess, Laito-kun.

Laito: Haah~? ‘I guess’? (2) How rude, you’re talking to the King of the Carnival, you know?

Laito: Well then, Bitch-chan. Why don’t we use this opportunity to enjoy the banquet as well?

Yui: Yeah!

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) ぬるい or ‘nurui’ means ‘lukewarm’, but in this context, Laito is mocking haunted houses in the human world for being not all that scary.

(2) Kou actually uses the expression ついでに or ‘tsuide ni’, which means ‘to do something on the side’. However, I couldn’t find a way to translate the first sentence using a literal translation of the expression, so I altered it a little.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 3

→ PROCEED TO FINALE ENDING

→ PROCEED TO NORMAL ENDING

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #laito sakamaki #vandead carnival #diabolik lovers translation #vclaitochapter4

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dear-yandere · 4 years

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[ mirror, mirror ]

yandere! demon! johnny joestar x ghost-hunter! reader. modern au. headcanons and scenario inspired by buzzfeed unsolved.

› collab with: @lafirmament. › warnings: religious and anti-religious themes, demons and supernatural shenanigans, possession. › art credit: 4156948.

— Such a pretty little thing, face scrunched in fear and screams echoing through the haunted buildings you insist on dragging him to. A renowned ghost hunter despite your renown as a scaredy cat, and yet you’re one of the bravest humans he’s ever laid eyes on. You’ll wander the halls with the eyes of a priest who’s been told their God is far from real, and yet, you’ll utter prayers and carry holy water as a last resort. Your naivete is the only thing keeping him from offing you for his own pleasure, really. What an interesting little human you are, what an interesting little pet.

— Your forays into haunted areas is a silly endeavor considering the greatest threat to your life is right beside you, masquerading as a best friend rather than a predator. Initially, he’d been meaning to have you as a snack — feed off your life force, as you’d once explained demons are capable of doing — but you make for a good play thing. It’s not often he finds a human who makes him chuckle with delight at every twist and turn, especially one so enamored by the supernatural that they’d venture into the very thing they hate most.

— As a human, it’s no secret he was crippled. A fact he hates to remember more than anything, he refuses to allow himself the same fate in the afterlife. Who the hell would be scared of a crippled demon anyway? When he takes trips to the human realm, he’s more than happy to possess some random asshole he finds on the street. Of course, when he met you, he more or less doomed himself to forever possess the body you met him in. Thankfully, glamour is a thing and he can make you and others see him as whatever he views fit. He wasn’t terrible looking when he was mortal, so he’s fine with making this body more or less look like him.

— He likes listening to you speak. Your voice is pretty when you get excited, high-pitched with stars in your eyes. You’re so keen on telling him all these interesting stories about spirits and ghouls and... demons. Your tales are amusing considering some are so far-fetched he can’t help but laugh. Perhaps you’re simply biased, because for reasons beyond him, you hate demons in particular. The thought of being terrorized by one is one of your greatest fears, he’s come to learn, though it would wound him if he didn’t like that about you in the first place. He wonders how you’ll react when he reveals his true nature to you, if you don’t die of a heart attack by then. Will you scream just how he likes it? Pass out? Bring out that phony holy water and shoddy cross as if they’ll protect you from anything? The curiosity all but kills him all over again, but he likes you too much to cut the fun short so soon.

— Those sounds you swore you heard, or that breeze or tap you swore you felt? He takes pride in these little pranks of his if only to see you cuddle into yourself and shriek for the entire building to hear. Luckily, there’s no one else besides you two. Your screams are fairly useless, but he doesn’t plan to do anything sketchy yet. It’s why he scares off the poltergeists who want to hurt you when you bring out that funny little... spirit box of yours. Of all Seven Hells, he hates that thing with a passion. It has a sound frequency that seems to draw spirits in and demons away; he’d rather you get rid of the thing entirely, but you keep it around because it’s ‘top of the line technology’ and you always ‘hear spirits talking to you through it’, even if it’s only when johnny isn’t accompanying you.

— And funnily enough, it is because you attract them — through your evident fear and pleasant screams, that is what they are naturally drawn to out of pure curiosity. You don’t realize this urgent fact, simply because Johnny makes sure you don’t catch onto it lest you don’t go feigning bursts of confidence. He loves it when you’re terrified shitless, and if you weren’t such amusing company, he’d terrorize you far worse than your wildest fears. It’s easy to pick your worst fears apart from the things you can tolerate — you’re awfully open with him. He shouldn’t be surprised, you did say he’s your best friend.

— His true intentions are unclear. What he feels for you is far from love, borderline obsession and curiosity above all else. Your companionship is nothing short of amusing and your reactions all the more alluring; he could easily off you, but you’re his for the taking. Demons are awfully possessive with their prey, completely incapable of mercy, sympathy, or love. If he senses any dangers from other spirits, he wards them off, the task easy enough given how highly he ranks in the Underworld. He’s a force to be reckoned with, a force that the lower-level spirits you encounter have no chance again. It’s fun watching them play around with you, sure, but he’s always close-by, watching, protecting what’s his.

“J-Johnny!”

He rolls his eyes, feeling your timid hands clutch his jacket — as if he’d save you. At this point, you should know how much joy he elicits from seeing you nearly piss yourself and scream at what he calls “nothing”. Seeing you now, he wonders what you’d do if he told you ghosts and demons really do exist. Coming from him of all people, you’d be shocked, but you’re so gullible and trusting that you’d believe his words in a heartbeat. The incessant teasing he’d have to endure afterwards is the only thing stopping him, though.

“There’s nothin’ there, pussy.” He snorts, glaring into the abyssal darkness of the hallway you just rushed from. Shadows flicker a few meters away as if scared by his presence. “I don’t see anythin’,” he snickers, enjoying the power he has over those shit-brained lesser demons. No one would dare touch you when he’s around. As animalistic as humans view demons, the system is more like a hierarchy ruled by position and fear. He’s by no means a hotshot in the demon realm, but he’s well-known enough to not attract unwanted attention from weaker spirits. That courtesy extends to you, for better or worse.

“There was!” You scan the darkness as if expecting to see something, balking when nothing shifts as it just had. The sudden silence has you feeling like you’re being mocked. “I-I’m certain of it! I t-thought I heard a voice, so I used the spirit box and...” teeth dig into your bottom lip, a habit to stop you from screaming too much. “I think someone’s trying to talk to me, Johnny!” The prospect both excites and terrifies you, he can tell that much.

“Yea, and? What could they possibly got to say to you?” He shoots a glare down the hall, daring whatever cocky spirit you’re talking about to man up and approach you again. “’Save me’? Some shit like that? As if they ain’t already dead. Yer the last person I’d ask, anyway.”

You scoff and push him away, furious that your first instinct was to cling to him of all people. Considering how he gets a good laugh outta your fear, you’d sooner cling to a random mannequin in the halls than this asshole. “It wouldn’t kill you to be nice to me sometimes, Johnny.”

A laugh sputters past his mouth. “Yeah guess you’re right.” Can’t kill what’s already dead, so you ain’t wrong. Unfortunately, a lot of his witty one-liners would blow his cover, especially since you already joke about him being a demon in disguise. “Still ain’t gonna do it, though.”

“Asshole.”

“Pussy.” He returns your scowl with a shit-eating grin and a light push against your back. “Well? Git goin’, you came back before the timer went off y’know. Or are you too much of a wimp?”

There’s that habit of yours again, chewing your lip when you’re nervous. He knows you’d rather cling to the title of ‘wimp’ or ‘pussy’ at this point, but your pride is far too big for that little mortal body of yours. You won’t back down, not after you came running all the way back here just to cling to him.

“F-fine!”

You’re already off down the hall before he can tease you some more. S’alright though, no one’s gonna bother you this time. No one but him, anyway. He’ll make sure of it.

#yandere johnny joestar #yandere johnny joestar x reader #johnny joestar x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure x reader #yandere jojo x reader #yandere jjba x reader #yandere jjba #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere #yandere scenario #yandere imagines #*headcanons #*scenarios

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lingdidi · 3 years

Note

Hi 💕✨💕✨ Could you ship your mutuals with The Boyz? 👀

i love this kind of asks because i can go full love-connoiseur and think who would be more compatible with who so absolutely yes i could and i will. i don’t have many mutuals tho so i’ll only do the people i talk to more often+stan the boyz! i wish i had fuse mutuals because i’d ship them with onf too :(

isa ( @bluedelilah ): Sunwoo. i don’t know how much you will agree with this but i’ve already said it before that i think you two would both look good together and be good for each other? from things like how sunwoo seems kind of impatient with some things (like how he gets desperate @ the wifi lag in vlives or tends to scream when someone scares him) and meanwhile you’re calm i don’t think i have ever in my life seen you angry so i feel like you two would balance each other out and i feel like he’d almost even find your calmness somewhat contagious?? and feel quite chill and at ease with you. also you’re both scaredy cats so watching horror movies is out the window and he’s probably the type to cry easily at movies too so i think you two would have similar taste. the type to cry during a sentimental part in a movie but tease you about if he sees you crying even though he’s crying too? a dumbass but a cute dumbass. he’s super talented and i feel that’s very charming and you’re both very creative so i think you’d like that about each other. I think Sunwoo wouldn’t be the best with words or most meaningful actions for example when you feel sad but you’d be able to feel just how much he cares and wants to help and cheer you up so he’d do whatever he can if he can to distract you from whatever’s bugging you. also i read he doesn’t like vegetables and u like spinach and that stuff so. u can eat the vegetables he doesn’t like so that’s great we love teamwork. ngl i thought of shipping you with jacob but he’s such an angel i’m not sure if any of us would deserve him

mirfio ( @zhangpdf ): Sangyeon. i ship you with sangyeon because you two are so reliable i feel like you could lean on each other for anything (he’s also super caring as we all know so he’d listen to whatever you need to talk about or if you just wanna be alone for whatever reason then he’ll let you be with no problem because i doubt he’d be a super needy clingy bf esp if you don’t want him to be.) i’d say he’d be alone with you if you want to but then??? what’s my role in this family anymore?? i’m the one who gets to be alone with you when you need to be alone and we stand in silence together thanks. i feel like he’d also be the type to be quite thoughtful but not in a cringy-cheesy way? he’d think of different spots you could like/you’ve mentioned you wanted to go recently like for example a cat café or a zoo and he’d take you there !! i feel like he’d put your happiness before his own even but at the same time i feel there wouldn’t be much wrong with that because his happiness wouldn’t be ignored anyway because you’d also take good care of him and you’re very realistic and mature so whenever he’s worried about anything you know just what to say that’s not just sweet words to make him feel better but the actual truth. and also he’s quite dorky sometimes and you are v silly so you two would have those moments of just being dumb together and laughing so hard at the silliest things

L ( @nyuwings ): Younghoon. i feel like i don’t know you that well on a personal level and obviously neither do i know younghoon personally BUT i just??? feel it??? that you two would be really cute together because you are both really sweet i feel you’d be very nice to each other, you’d give each other the attention+affection you two need (i feel like he’d be especially affectionate idk younghoon looks like a cuddly boy to me) and i also feel like, even though he’d also let you know with words frequently, actions would be more his love language towards you. holding your hand whenever, surprising you by buying you your favorite drink and snack when you’re stressed during exams period and it’s hard to find time for a break to even get something to eat. i feel like he’d also be the cheesy type to like, imagine it’s really cold then he’d love to either share a blanket together and snuggle or imagine he’s wearing a big coat/jacket and he’ll open his arms for you to hug him and then he’ll try to close it (but not fully just with his hands) around you so that you two can be warm sjfndsjknfs or if you’re walking somewhere he’d probably be the type to take your hand and put inside his coat’s pocket with his sjfndsjf overall really sweet and really loving and i feel like you deserve someone like that and as far as i know you i think younghoon would also deserve someone like you,,, he will always know he’s so loved and appreciated and supported by you and that’ll make him the happiest :( <3 im soft

marta: this is an ig mutual i have who i don’t think has a tumblr account but !! we’ve been talking a lot lately so i wanna try and ship her too so i’ll send a ss to her! Juyeon. Juyeon is more extroverted than introverted according to his mbti but he’s not like most of the other extroverted members? i see him as someone super sweet and caring and you too seem super caring as far as i know you! you are very supportive over people’s passions like for example art!! i always see you sharing other people’s arts to try and promote them or for example you always have something nice to say when i’ve shown any sketches or anything i’ve done and i feel Juyeon would also be that kind of supporting and caring? i feel like you two would be really positive for each other, motivating each other to do your bests, sharing your problems and overcoming them together with the promise of how everything is going to be okay no matter how stressing it may get, like when you’re so busy you barely even have time for your hobbies. Juyeon would listen to you vent about uni if you needed to and once you feel like you’ve let out a little of that burden he’d offer something you two can do to get distracted from the stress and just have fun together. If you ever drew him he’d feel so touched and he’d love you even more deeply than he already would. he’d also try to be romantic by telling you compliments but not like in a way that’ll make it overwhelming? as in if he cut your hair he’ll notice and he’ll smile sweetly at you and say that you look really beautiful :( sweet boy juyeon

#love counselor berry

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schtroumpf-a-lunettes · 5 years

Text

The Smurfs That Canon Forgot, Chapter fourteen.

This is the final chapter, everyone!

Read this chapter on: ff.net | AO3 | As always - this post!

Previous Chapters: Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 | Ch12 | Ch13

“Just what are those things?” the doctor asked Scruple, eyeing the smurfs atop that bird of theirs which led the way. “Uhh… Those are my pets?” The physician’s voice sounded rather bored. “Pets aren’t allowed in the room you’re staying in.” “Oh, god damn it. A-actually, they don’t live with me, doc. And they’re very well-trained. To get help. Like they’re doing right now.” “They’re wearing… clothes? And riding on top of a bird.” “Yes.” Scruple nodded, “They tend to do that.” Somehow, the doctor left it at that and didn't press him any further. “Oh yeah” Scruple added in a louder voice, “And they can’t talk either. I mean obviously. They’re all very stupid creatures.” He held back a laugh at the looks the smurfs gave him as the physician stared fixedly ahead, Scruple’s goal decidedly achieved. What’s wrong, smurfs? Why not speak up and defend yourselves? Ha! Their stubborn unwillingness to interact with unknown humans… He was damned if he wasn’t going to take advantage of that. Gargamel began to come into view, and so Scruple hastened his pace forward. He was just lying there in a stream that hardly reached Scruple’s ankles. Next to Gargamel, there was also some kind of red speck, which grew clearer as Scruple approached. Was that -- ?! “Holy –“ he rushed over, leaving the doctor trailing a fair bit behind. “Papa Smurf?!” Papa Smurf looked up. “Ah, you’re here! My, you really have grown!” “Nah, can’t be you. Come on. Same stupid disguise again, right?” Scruple insisted as Feathers touched down to the ground and the other smurfs came over. “Not falling for that again. I mean, you died, right?” “Ahem, not at all. The rumours of my death are greatly exaggera- wait, again?!” Papa Smurf shot both Dreamy and Dabbler a suspicious glance. “You didn’t mention that Papa Smurf is back?” Dabbler asked the others, failing to notice the look. “Oh. Yeah. I don’t think we did, huh…” Dreamy realised. “Well, what do you know…” Another voice pierced the air. “Will… will you all stop your infernal…!” “Gargy!” Scruple exclaimed, noticing the extent of the bad shape the emaciated wizard was in, and said the first thing that came to mind. “…You look awful.” “Oh, speak for yourself!” Gargamel spat through the pain. “You smurfs had better scram. The doc’s coming. But uhh…” Scruple trailed off uncomfortably, unwilling to go on. Papa Smurf smiled knowingly. “You’re welcome, Scruple.” By the time the doctor was close enough to attend to Gargamel, the smurfs had slipped off into the trees. “Took you long enough!” both Gargamel and Scruple unwittingly found themselves saying at once. “Well I’m not as young as I used to be. Hmm” he started directing all his focus to assisting the currently helpless wizard, apart from casting a single aside comment to Scruple. “Your pets ran off.” Scruple shrugged. “They’re outdoor pets.” *** “…The nerve of him to call us – but especially me – stupid! And that’s not even to mention what he said about me earlier…!” They were now back at the village. Papa Smurf, Dabbler and Hefty watched passively from a distance as Brainy ranted in earnest to the nearest smurf, who just so happened to be Dreamy. Dreamy was rather animated in his responses, irritated, throwing back remarks, trying to cut through and put a stop to Brainy’s nonstop speech. It looked like it would only be a matter of time before Brainy would get kicked out of the village once again. “Don’t you think Dreamy’s rather… lively right now?” Papa Smurf observed. Understanding dawned on Dabbler. “Gosh, I think you’re right, Papa Smurf. I don’t think I remember the last time Dreamy didn’t seem… detached and withdrawn.” He always seems so miserable, just beneath the surface, but he keeps himself so closed off that it’s always so hard to tell. I worry about him sometimes. “Now that you mention it, Dreamy was pretty talkative when we went to get Scruple. But other than that he hasn’t been very talkative lately” added Hefty. Papa Smurf pondered in silence before speaking again. “What I think Dreamy needs… is distraction. He needs to spend some time away from his own thoughts, to be drawn out of them for a while. I think that would be good for him, and we can try to help him where we can. And… It seems that any distraction large enough, be it negative or positive, can draw him out…” But it’s so hard to get any kind of reaction or response out of Dreamy these days, Dabbler thought to himself. “So what are you saying? “Negative distraction”, so Brainy…” “You don’t suppose that…” Hefty trailed off, an amused grin flickering on his face. …That Brainy is so profoundly annoying, he has the power to distract Dreamy enough to get him to actually come out of his shell, if only in a desperate attempt to get Brainy to stop? It sounded like Papa Smurf had just implied as much. But he wasn’t about to say it out loud. Brainy still had yet to be tossed out of the village by Dreamy. Maybe he wouldn’t be. Dreamy probably didn’t fully realise it, but perhaps he had refrained so far because he could sense on some level that his chatter could be useful for him. *** In the “past”… “Did you try talking to him?” “Yeah. I did.” “And?” Poet shook his head, and Tracker sighed. “Well. What are we going to do?” “This isn’t the time to hide away. We need you, Scaredy.” “No, you don’t.” “How… how are we going to… The village can’t go on indefinitely without guidance.” There was no uncertainty in the way that Scaredy spoke. No room for argument, even though his tone was devoid of any harshness. “Well, you’re going to have to figure that out. We’re going to have to manage.” “But why, Scaredy, why? We’ve barely been managing as it is. We can’t…” Scaredy spoke with a strange calm. “You don’t have a choice.” “Without Scaredy to be the village leader… The whole reason we asked him, chose him is because he can really unite us…” “Wait” Dabbler approached them from behind, “You… you were going to make Scaredy the village leader? This is the first I’m hearing of this.” Poet and Tracker looked up. “You mean… Replacing Papa Smurf with… with someone else? With Scaredy?” Dabbler continued on. “No one is being replaced by anyone, but Papa and the others… they’ve been gone a really long time. This village has been without a proper leader for so long.” “So… you’d think we’d be used to it by now, right? We can continue to manage ourselves, instead of needing to elevate a fellow smurf to a position of leadership.” “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Because Scaredy… I don’t know what’s smurfed into him but he’s completely refusing. So I guess we will be “continuing to manage ourselves”, as you say.” “Maybe that’s for the best... And what are you saying, anyway? We’re smurfs! We stick together, look out for each other.” “But, we still need-“ Dabbler shook his head, not letting him go on. “And what were you saying just now, about him uniting us? Because to me, it seemed that all Scaredy was doing was dividing us.” “A few outliers-“ “If it wasn’t discussed with everyone… it’s not any kind of uniting, is it? So instead of relying on some kind of other outside force for help, why don’t we all start trying harder ourselves?” *** In the “present”… There was a knock on the door. Scruple went over, opened it. Nothing there. “Down here!” It was a smurf. “Uhh… Hello? What are you after?” “Me? Uh, well, you know… Sassette is really worried and… We were wondering how Gargamel is doing!” “Oh” Scruple said. “Uh, well, he got pneumonia. Lying in the water that long and all, can’t have been good.” The smurf’s face fell. “He what?” “But” Scruple said hastily, “the doc says he should make a full recovery.” “I-I see… Well that’s good…” Another smurf walked up now. Scruple hadn’t noticed them. “I could have a quick look over Gargamel. Smurfmonia isn’t very smurfy at all…” “And how would you be able to help?” “That’s what I do. I’m Doctor Smurf.” Scruple couldn’t help it; a laugh slipped out from him at that. “Oh? Completed your qualifications at smurf medical school? At the little smurf university?” The smurf claiming to be a doctor frowned. “Ahh… Well you have to admit. The thought is pretty goddamned funny.” “I’m trying to make an offer to help. And besides, did the doctor that saw to Gargamel even go to medical school?” “I sure hope so… I mean, he always was one of the more reliable doctors in the village at least. He saw to me when I was… hurt.” Scruple hadn’t meant to intentionally invoke that, make the smurfs uncomfortable. But he didn’t really care either way. Let them feel uncomfortable. “So, can I come and have a quick look?” Doctor Smurf asked. Scruple toyed around with a possible biting response in his mind. You guys just feel bad, don’t you? You’re just trying to somehow make up for the stuff you’ve pulled over the years. But instead, he just shrugged, and said, “I don’t know. I mean, it’s not my house… right?” It’s really strange, isn’t it? I mean he was actively trying to kill you, eat you or turn you into gold or whatever it is. And here you are, checking if the guy’s okay. What gives? “Scruple!” Gargamel’s sickly voice called from inside the hovel. “Who are you talking to?! Hurry it up already!” “I’m talking to the smurfs, you old man!” Scruple called back irritably. “They wanna come inside your humble abode!” he added with heavy sarcasm. “What?! Send them away! Why are you-“ Gargamel’s voice broke off, replaced by coughing. Scruple turned back to face the smurfs. “Sure, whatever, you can come on in. But with Papa Smurf. He’s around here somewhere, isn’t he?” Papa Smurf emerged from nearby. “Of course. Sorry to be a bother, Scruple, but Sassette insisted we stop by.” “Right. But she didn’t come herself?” The smurf that was neither Papa nor the doctor one spoke. “A little dangerous for a smurfling, we still think. Speaking of which: don’t bother trying anything.” “As if I would.” *** “He’s going to be fine.” “Ya sure?” Sassette asked hopefully. “Yep! Gargamel’s sure had it rough lately but he’s still going to come out of it okay. So there’s no need to worry anymore.” It was Architect relating the news to the smurfling. Dreamy was standing with Papa Smurf nearby. “It’s getting colder… Which means that the anniversary is fast approaching. Strange to think about” said Dreamy. Papa Smurf looked questioningly at him. “Anniversary?” “Yeah. Of when you and the others all… left. We made a point of observing the day every year. But now this year… You’re here with us, so we don’t need to anymore.” Dreamy paused. “It was kind of one of the things that brought us all together.” He was going to say more, but got rather distracted because something – no, someone – was flying nearby. “Hello!” a voice called cheerfully. “Oh, hi Cupid. Come to shoot me with one of your stupid arrows again?” Architect asked darkly. Cupid chuckled good-naturedly. “Not for a few years yet, I’m afraid. I’m just passing through, actually.” Surprise lit up Architect’s face. “Wait, wh-“ “Papa Smurf?!” Cupid exclaimed in complete shock, catching sight of the red-clothed smurf. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” “Not at all” “Are you sure?” “Quite.” “Oh, he was never dead, just missing” Smurfette added helpfully. “Oh, apologies. It’s so good to see you, Papa Smurf. I’m glad you’re still alive. I really thought you were gone…” “I get that a lot” Papa sighed. “We were missing in time actually. Jumping continuously from one point in time to another” Smurfette informed him, and a thoughtful expression crossed her face for a few moments as Cupid processed this information before she continued. “…Actually, you should probably know about our time travelling. Didn’t anyone tell you?” “I remember hearing something about how Papa Smurf, among several other smurfs including you Smurfette, were gone… But I don’t know how I could have possibly known you were time travelling.” “Because” Smurfette said seriously, “You were there. We met you, when you were younger.” “You…?” Cupid scratched his head in bewilderment. “You what now?” Dreamy asked, now concentrating intensely on the conversation at hand. “Van Garg? Turning the arrows of love into arrows of hate?” Smurfette prompted. “The arrows of…?” Cupid smacked at his balding head in sudden recognition. “Now there’s something I haven’t thought about for centuries! But my, that was…” He tried counting on his fingers and gave up. “And you’re telling me that…?” Smurfette nodded. “Oh. Oh, wow… Some of it’s coming back to me. It was you. All of you were there…” “You. You met up with them?!” Dreamy abruptly burst out. Cupid took little notice of the outburst and continued to address Papa Smurf and Smurfette. “I thought you were… Well, you know, as I said, no longer of this world. I knew- I heard that you were – gone, missing, what have you! But if I had known at all that time travel factored into it… well, perhaps I could have pieced it together-“ “You’re telling me- okay, no. No.” Dreamy took a deep breath before continuing. “You’re telling me that the entire time, you maybecould have told us that they were still alive, and travelling through time, and that there was still some hope left to be had?!” Papa Smurf put a hand on Dreamy’s shoulder. “Cupid wouldn’t have been able to lead you to us.” “He would have been able to give us some information. We had nothing. We didn’t know what had happened or what was going on! It would have made a huge difference! Argh!” Dreamy kicked at the ground in frustration, started storming off. Cupid hovered there in the air awkwardly, looking rather guilty. “It was uh, good to see you again Cupid” Papa told him briefly, and hurried after Dreamy. *** “It didn’t have to be over six years. We could have found you first. Or, we would have had a much better chance at it. So much could have easily been avoided.” Papa Smurf patted Dreamy on the back. “It is what it is, I’m afraid…” The two smurfs sat in silence for a little bit before Papa continued. “But we’re here now, my little smurf, and that’s what matters. No time crystals can split up this village permanently. We’re all together once more and we’ll move forward together. That’s what really matters.” Dreamy nodded slowly. “Yeah... Yeah. I know. I just- You’re right. It’s no use dwelling on it, as you say.” He sighed. Papa nodded in turn. “It can be difficult sometimes, trying to put it all into perspective. And that’s okay. But as long as we’re all trying our best to be as smurfy as we can be, we’ll have many good times to look forward to.” “I hope so.” “We will, don’t you worry.” “Alright. I believe it, and everything you said… I just want to be alone for a little bit.” “Okay.” Papa Smurf gave Dreamy a hug. “I’ll come back to get you after a little bit. I think I should be getting back to the others too.” Papa left him, respecting Dreamy’s wishes, and Dreamy sat quietly, not thinking of much at all, simply enjoying the nature around him for a while. *** It was evening, and dinner was about to be served. Papa Smurf held Baby close and walked carefully through the snow, over to the mushroom-shaped house. Gave a knock at the door. “It’s dinnertime, and we won’t start without you” he said amiably. “Can’t have a nice meal without everysmurf there.” There was a rustling inside, and the door opened to reveal Scaredy. “I saved you a seat at the dinnertable, next to me” Papa told him. “Thank you, Papa.” Over six years had inevitably impacted each of the smurfs left behind, each of them in different ways. There was a huge amount that Papa Smurf still didn’t know about. But even though he didn’t know exactly why Scaredy tended to be rather reclusive these days, that was hardly going to stop him from doing his best to acknowledge him and make him feel included just as much as the other smurfs. “Din!” Baby announced. “Yes!” Papa Smurf said happily, cradling the youngest smurf of all in his arms. “Dinner, dinner!” “Deeeeee” Baby cooed. “DeeeeeeNUH!” His hand wrapped tightly around Scaredy’s outstretched finger. Scaredy’s face was enveloped with a smile. In that moment, looking upon Baby, he couldn’t help feeling like everything was right in the world, and that everything was going to be okay.

End.

Author’s Notes:

That’s a wrap! But it’s not over yet – this fic might be over but there WILL be more. Please tune in to the next smurfs fic that I’ll be uploading soon – keep your eyes peeled everyone, and watch this space.

Writing this has really been an experience, what with it being my first real fic and all.

The final thing I want to mention is I need to acknowledge and credit someone I still consider to be a good internet friend; a fellow smurfologist. My discussions with them from years ago really got me thinking and were a source of inspiration that fuelled this story. If you’re reading this, I hope you know who you are, and PLEASE shoot me a message so we can catch up. I miss you :P

Also, links to posts I’ve made responding to some reader questions:

https://schtroumpf-a-lunettes.tumblr.com/post/177646693330/a-reviewer-of-my-fic-mentioned-that-given-whats

https://schtroumpf-a-lunettes.tumblr.com/post/179961351025/response-to-questions-about-my-fic-by-guest

#smurfs #the smurfs #Papa Smurf #Dreamy Smurf

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the-musical-cc · 6 years

Note

In the entire Ghostbusters franchise of film, TV, and games, who are your best characters?

TRICK QUESTION! ALL OF THEM EXCEPT RON. Nah, JK *cracks knuckles* here goes.

Look, thing is, I really love all the characters, particularly when those who didn’t get much of the limelight, like Peck, start getting more of a backstory, allowing me to better connect and understand them, but if I had to go for like my top six or whatever, this would be it:

Janine Melnitz (In any incarnation, really), Eduardo Rivera, Jillian Holtzmann, Garrett Miller, Egon Spengler (Again, any incarnation although dorky RGB Egon holds a special place in my heart), IDW Kylie Griffin and Patty Tolan. That’s the short-ish answer. My reasons? Under the cut ‘cause it’s gonna be long.

Janine Melnitz- It’s no secret to anyone who’s seen at even 5% of my GB posts that she’s my fave, but it’s not really an unbiased opinion, I guess. I watched the cartoon as a young kid and she was my favorite back then, so it makes sense that even now she’d still hold my heart. The games and films don’t really give us much detail about her, except for some vague generalities, but even these vague generalities make for a pretty lovable character. What’s not to love about this tough-as-nails, no-nonsense kinda character constantly surrounded by either scientific nonsense, sass or plain out bullshit? And yet she still finds the time to care. She’s full of love and rage in equal amounts and GOD, do I love it. The cartoon pretty much cements this and adds a layer of the weirdest mix of tomboyish attitude with flirty, playful charm- for most of the seasons, at least. I’m also a sucker for the kind of hero who doesn’t have the ‘Power’ to justify the ‘Responsibility’ but ACTIVELY chooses to take the responsibility either way, simply because they are that kind of person, which started as a tendency in the cartoon, having her grab the proton pack to fight when the need came and continued in the comics, both IDW and NOW. I could go on and on with reasons I love Janine, but this is long af already, lol, moving on.

Eduardo Rivera- I admit a good part of the soft spot I have for him stems from him being a latino guy (Probably of mexican descent, since he uses the term ‘Chamaco’ and I'm not sure other latin-american countries use it) but it’s mostly the context in which he is a ghostbuster. It’s like someone took the power-fantasy of one of those fans who think they own the material because they’ve liked it for years, and decided to go completely the other way. Eduardo is a bit of a smartass but more often than not it plays against him, he isn’t a chick magnet, isn’t a scientst like Egon or even scientifically inclined as Kylie or Roland, isn’t physically very strong like Garrett and has a bit of a scaredy-cat streak. In terms of people fit for being a ghostbuster, he’s probably at the bottom of the list. But he IS a ghostbuster, and a constant in the few episodes we got is him constantly failing to do as well as his team-mates and just trying to be better. Taking care of them as best as he can, trying very hard to feel like part of the team, refusing to back down when something isn’t going his way. He’s the real underdog story in GB, the way I see it, and I love it. I wish we’d gotten to see and know more of him than we did, but even with what little we got, I love him.

Jillian Holtzmann- I think she's a general fave in the new team and I can see why. If anyone ever wondered what a mad scientist would be like if they were on a sugar rush, Holtzy's the answer. She mixes a bit of the generally cooky vibe we got from the tech of the old team and how they used it or learned from it –with seemingly complete disregard for common sense unless Winston was there- with a higher energy and a more playful disposition. She's loud and rowdy and loves joking around. Geeky. Unsubtly gay but not really a token gay either. There is just so much about her that I needed to see in media when I was younger and I love that today's kids get to see. She's not all perfection either, under all that flare, she's still scared and insecure and a little bit lonely, but getting better. I generally love how the new team is so damn feelsy, because, dammit, I'm a sucker for team-as-family dynamic, but I really feel deeply for how awkward at her affection Holtzy is, and how patient and understanding the others are for it. It's just really wholesome.

Garrett Miller- I’m gonna be straight up and say a disabled Ghostbusters really made an impression on me back in the early 2000′s when ExGB was on in Canal 5. Before rewatching I couldn’t really remember much of it- hell, I was under the impression that Egon and Janine were an official couple in the series, for whatever reason? (I wonder if I just assumed because they were the group’s ‘Mom and dad’?) and didn’t even remember Eduardo having a crush on Kylie, but I DID remember Garrett clearly. How he looked, who his Latin-American dub actor was, his attitude... it just really stuck with me. Upon my rewatch I realized he was also one of my favorite types of character; he comes from all kinds of bad places in the sense of toxicity. Hung around would-be neo-nazis when he was young and adopted a lot of their attitudes without meaning to, has a generally bad attitude about asking or receiving help or accepting any sort of vulnerability, even though at times it comes back to bite him on the ass. He actively works towards getting better too, working on his empathy and tolerance for ways of thought that don’t match his, and that just really gets to me. Unlearning toxic behaviors is never easy, showing it as a struggle without making it a lecture through him really cemented Garrett as a fave.

Egon Spengler- What can I say. He was my crush as a kid in the cartoon (according to my mom, at least) and now as an adult, Ramis Egon is my crush. Embarrassing fangirlish-reasons aside, you gotta love a guy that's somehow figured out portable atomic lasers that catch ghosts but most likely has forgotten to eat for the past two days. He's the perfect mix between being a genius and being a dumbass. And I know a lot of fans find how he seems to find the emotional fields completely alien... cool? Even though, when you have problems reading other people's emotions IRL it's anything but? But what I love is the lengths he goes to try sometimes. It's clearly not easy for him to understand even his own feelings at times, always translating them to the intellectual approximate, but he's still constantly trying. And when he does get it right, like he clearly has with the companionship with the rest of the team, it's beautiful. It's glorious to see him act just a little bit immature with the rest of the guys when they pile on Peter or start teaming up to throw shade at someone. It's beautiful to see him being able to come out of his shell more and more, the more he learns how to. I guess that's what really gets me about him, thinking eventually everyone finds their place and their people with whom they can be more true to themselves.

IDW Kylie Griffin- Why specifically the comics Kylie? I feel like ExGB Kylie suffered from this thing in the late 90s, early 00's where they thought making a female character mean was a feminist thing; I appreciate the whole 'Women don't HAVE TO be agreeable or make men's feelings their priority' thing, but... I'm just not a fan of someone who constantly humiliates a person who has a crush on them simply because they can. IDW Kylie keeps the edge to her attitude but on a much more reasonable personality. She has little to no tolerance to bullshit- but still seems mindful of boundaries and of who deserves to be on the bad end of her temper and when. I'm tempted to say she's more 'Mature'. Less on the 'Edgy' side. What I love about her is how she balances the gloomy, goth aesthetic with a kind, eager to learn and help others type of personality, without this meaning she's a pushover or naïve in any way. Plus, she's both a dog AND a cat person. Sure, it's possible this was who the original Kylie was under all those layers of soapbox activism and 'Better than you' attitude, but I can't know for sure.

Patty Tolan: You know how a lot of people was whining about the way she spoke? Ironically dubbed as a 'Racist stereotype' even though the whole argument against 'Ghetto speech' is racist in it's core? But anyway, you know the way Patty expresses herself? If people would have bothered to listen to what she said rather than try and find reasons to get mad, they would have noticed that what she said and what she did was what mattered. They immediately saw a black woman, using a commonly regarded as 'Black' pattern of speech and stopped paying attention. A mistake, I think. Patty has a degree in History (Confirmed by IDW but I honestly thought as much before that) and is the most well-read of her team, on top of possibly being the only one of them with common sense that isn't over-whelmed by other thoughts, and having the most practical way of thinking that doesn't get too reliant on the ghostbusting gadgets. Patty singlehandedly puts the myths that looking or talking a certain way determines whether you're smart or not to rest, in what Ghostbuster respects, and I love her for it. I'm not gonna lie, it's also really impressive to see someone exorcise another person via slap. That's Phoenix Ikki level of badassness, and I will never be over it.

Thaaaat’s about it? Wtf this is so long. Thank you if you read all the way to here and I hope this answer was a good one.

#ghostbusters #ghostbusters answer the call #extreme ghostbusters #the real ghostbusters #cc rants

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theornerypoet · 6 years

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What the Future Told Me

My spin on the meeting between Barry and the mystery girl who we’ve already declared as Dawn Allen. Please, let me know what you think! I am just getting into fanfic so go easy! Thanks for reading : )

Deep breathes, Barry.

In. Out.

He coached himself with his eyes closed, willing his heart to keep time with the slow breaths he inhaled through his nose and out his mouth. Barry’s hand trembled slightly as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, and he honestly couldn’t tell if it was excitement or nerves. If he was nervous, he couldn’t figure out for the life of him why. He had been dreaming of this day since he was 11 years old. Still, the thought of Iris getting ready just down the hallway caused the butterflies to attack his stomach as mingling thoughts and emotions rushed through him.

Love. Adoration. Anxiety. Fear. Excitement. More Anxiety.

Cisco had blocked every attempt he and Iris made to sneak a kiss before she put on her dress. He went on and on about how he didn’t want them “ruining the enchantment” and “his patience being greatly rewarded.” Barry had finally relented, but he knew nothing could prepare him for the sight of Iris walking down the aisle, as she had so many times in his dreams. Each time, more thrilling than the last.

Only this time, he was getting the real thing. All over again, the thought would send his heart back into his throat while he practically vibrating with warmth and disbelief.

He just wanted to see her.

He knew the moment he laid his eyes on her, the anxiety in his gut would melt away, and he wouldn’t care about irrational, invading thoughts or that he was about to wax poetry to the love of his life in the form of overly sappy vows in front of close friends and family. He would focus only on her, and she would make it go away. She always did.

But for right now, he’d just have to deal with the twists in his gut, while the chatter around the room drove him insane along with the slow tick of time.

“Dude, you okay? You’re spacing over here.” Cisco clapped a hand on his shoulder snapping Barry from whatever realm he had been transported to.

“Yeah, I’m good, Cisco.” Barry cleared his throat, wiping his sweaty palms on his pant legs.

Cisco quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Actually, I think I might need a minute?” He sighed, letting his body drop into the chair behind him. Cisco saw that he was a bit beside himself and opted a smart remark for being a supportive best man. He smiled and called, “Alright, everyone out! The groom needs some time alone to throw up!” Making Joe’s concerned eyes snap to him. Barry shot Cisco a dirty look while he escorted the men out of the room, leaving him and Joe alone.

“Son?” Joe quirked an eyebrow and immediately Barry stood to reassure him.

“Joe, I really am fine. It’s just-”

“A lot to process, I understand.” Joe finished, nodding. “I’ll leave you to it.” He enveloped him in his signature hug. “If you need me, I’m in the open area. I’ll send someone in with some water.” Barry smiled gratefully and Joe turned and left the room.

Barry was a solitary thinker, always using alone time to sort through intense thoughts and feelings. Iris called it brooding. He had gotten so he didn’t mind her presence beside him during his introspection. Most times she was able to pull him from inside himself. She would look up at him with those devastatingly beautiful eyes and make funny faces until she got him to smile. It was just to let him know she was there, that it didn’t always have to be hard. It was times like those when he felt extremely lucky to finally have her in that way. She made everything worth it, and he was going make the most of his time with her every day of their forever.

He basked in the quiet, letting it soothe him the best it could and thought of her, wondering if she was as anxious to see him as he was her. A smile played on his lips knowing she was more than likely about to shoot to the moon with excitement. She was fearless. It’s why he always looked to her, even when they were kids. Yes, he had grown more confident in the last four years as The Flash, but from time to time he still felt his past-self peeking from behind the new red exterior more often than he’d like to admit. Niggling fear still swirled inside him, and he began to wonder if it was stemming from something deeper. Before he could continue the thought, a rapid knock on the door interrupted him.

He opened the door to reveal a small, young woman around Iris’ height staring at him with wide hazel eyes. Most of her brownish curly hair was pinned on top of her head, and she donned the same black and white outfit as the rest of the caterers. Only Barry had been introduced to the team of caterers beforehand. He didn’t recognize this girl. Barry decided not to think much of it, and chalked it up to her slipping past him without noticing. However, he did notice her death grip on the cart beside her. She still didn’t say anything, just stared at him like a deer caught in headlights emotions he couldn’t quite decipher reflecting in her lightly colored eyes. Did she know him?

Barry absentmindedly looked down and checked himself self-consciously. Deciding there was nothing wrong with him, he gently prodded, “Do you have something for me?” peering at the cart of beverages behind her.

“Oh! Y-yes, Mr. Allen?” She blinked, snapping out of it walking into the room as he moved aside to let her enter.

“You know, if you grip that any harder you’ll break it off with your super-strength.” He joked attempting to break the ice, picking up she was nervous. Maybe this was her first job.

She made a face, smiling a little. “So what’ll it be?” she chirped. “We have regular and sparkling water, soft drinks, or are we needing something a little stronger?” she eyed him intently, a hint of humor in her eyes.

“Sadly, it wouldn’t do me any good.” he caught himself, “Being drunk at my wedding, of course.” He rushed out, making her eyes light up with humor. He didn’t know why he was self-conscious about the first half of his statement. It could’ve meant anything.

“So, you mean you’re not some kind of meta-human whose metabolism won’t allow him to be affected by alcohol?” she joked.

Barry froze and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“I was only kidding!” she giggled nervously, afraid she may have given something away. “What are the odds of that right?” She groaned internally. Why would she even say that?

“Yeah, what are the odds?” Barry chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Water is fine.”

She poured water in a glass and handed it to him.

“Why are you in here alone, anyway?” She asked watching him take small sips. “I thought people liked to be surrounded by family and friends before their wedding.” Her voice was very soft. He could tell she was genuinely curious.

“Not if you’re a nervous wreck like me.”

She smiled looking down. She was a nervous wreck like him, she thought back to her kindergarten Christmas program when she had her very first speaking part. The first time she became the self-proclaimed “scaredy-cat”. It was only two lines, but every second that ticked closer to her time to go on, the more she felt like was being eaten alive by her own fear. She cried and hugged her daddy’s leg begging him not to make her do it. He could have caved, lord knows she’d made him do it before, but he insisted she be his brave little girl. Her being the daddy’s girl she was, she wanted to make him proud. Her twin brother prided himself in being the more outgoing one. He got it from their mom.

“Why would you be nervous? I mean, you’re marrying one of the best women in the world…” Barry quirked an eyebrow and her eyes widened for a millisecond, “I…assume?” she supplied.

She was definitely making this weird. It was just harder than she thought it would be to pretend she didn’t know him, like she wasn’t dying to see his face. She didn’t think this through clearly, and if he found out who she was the consequences could be monumental on an existential level.

“You don’t even know us,” Barry said but the sparkle in his eye told the girl what she already knew. “We could’ve just met last month and be making the biggest mistake of our lives.”

“I don’t know… It’s just the lightness of everyone I’ve come across today. If you’re making a mistake, not one person here thinks so.” Her eyes sparkled with something he could’ve sworn was pure admiration. “I feel like I’m about to witness something really special.”

The girl gave him the most brilliant smile, and it could’ve been her youthful innocence, or that the way her smile reached her eyes reminded him of something so heartwarmingly familiar that his chest tightened with something he couldn’t really place. Still, he ignored it. It must’ve been the nerves manipulating his emotions.

“So, do you cater weddings just to talk the groom of the ledge?”

“No, you were a special case.”

“Really? On what grounds?”

“On the grounds of you looking as if you were going to faint when you opened the door.” She sat down. “By the way, you still haven’t told me why you’re nervous.”

Barry shook his head, sticking his hand in his pockets. He didn’t want to believe that he was about to spill his guts to a girl he just met who looked at least 8 years his junior, but something in her kind eyes begged him to trust her. And somehow, even after the swirling thoughts of past betrayal and his circle being infiltrated so that he could be manipulated, he did.

Cautiously.

“Don’t get me wrong, I am so thrilled.” He sighed, sitting next to her. “But I guess I’m a little afraid too.”

She nodded for him to continue.

“In my line of…work,” He began, choosing his words carefully. “I have experienced a lot of scary, life-changing things. With these things, came a lot of mistakes that I am still paying for at the expense of myself and my family.” Once he started, it was hard to stop the spilling of words from his mouth. “I have known Iris for over 15 years, and not once has she wavered as this unmovable source of strength and security in my life, even if she was angry at me.” He chuckled, thinking of a confrontational Iris showing up in Star Labs demanding answers about his alter ego. But once she stepped into the new world he was building, she never left. She made it clear she didn’t want to.

That was what worried him.

They had faced so many obstacles that threatened to rip holes in the fabric of everything they had woven together, and each time, it ended with him being ripped away from her. Yes, they’d come out stronger, but for how much longer? And when would be the final time she kissed him goodbye for him to never return? The 2024 newspaper article flashed in his mind as a reminder of what they still had to face.

“I just want to be there for her like she has for me, always. I don’t know if that’s guaranteed.”

“Have you talked to her about this?”

“Briefly,” He shook his head, and laughed. “She still hasn’t shown me anything other than her eagerness to be my wife.”

“Then, what’s the problem? You said it yourself that she’s always been there, so what? A wedding drives up the stakes?”

“Marriage is supposed to be a source of happiness for us both.” Barry sighed, “It’s just more to dangle in front of us to be snatched away.”

“You think too much.” She commented.

“Yeah,” he sighed glumly. If he had a dollar for every time someone told him this, he’d have enough money to buy another planet to whisk Iris away to. “It’s been known to get me in trouble.”

“You’re not really having second thoughts are you?” The girl looked at him so absolutely heartbroken it was almost comical. She must be the romantic type like him.

“No, of course not,” He scoffed.

Not marrying Iris? He was positive there wasn’t an Earth where he would give up the chance.

“I just have times when I wish things could be different than they are.” He shrugged, but it was tearing him up inside to think about the possibility of leaving Iris hurt and alone again because of the life they led. Especially now that they were getting married. But also, leaving behind the life that had become such a big part of them didn’t feel that good, either. The Flash was literally etched into his DNA now. He had the altered body chemistry to prove it.

“I bet she doesn’t.” She said. “You’re not giving her enough credit.”

“Excuse me?”

“If your lives are as…heavy as you imply, she’s probably thought about this a zillion times, and is still choosing you. Some people were just meant to lead extraordinary lives. No one said it was always fair or easy for everyone involved, but somehow the people you love makes it worth it.”

“You seem to know a lot about this,” Barry looked at her warily. “How?”

The young woman looked at him, as if she were struggling with her words. She finally began speaking again, her voice quiet and hesitant.

“When I was five, my father disappeared. I didn’t know much about his work; I only knew that it was dangerous and he saved lives. He’s my hero.” She was looking at him again with those shining, doe eyes. “My mother had to take on two rambunctious children, along with the weight of my father’s responsibilities after he was gone.”

She remembered the pitiful looks people gave them probably thinking her father had skipped out on them. Her mother handled it with so much grace, but we could see through the cracks. She was falling apart. She was embarrassed to show it, but she was tearing up at the thought of her mother crying into her hair when she thought she and her brother were asleep. She was too young to understand then, but she did now.

“I’m really sorry about that.” He did know a thing or two about loss, it must’ve been hard for her.

“Don’t be,” She held Barry’s eyes so intensely she might as well have been speaking to him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Barry dropped his gaze to his hands.

“Your parents must really love each other, then?”

She nodded.

“Even before they said ‘I do’, they’d been through hell and back together. She’d suffered through losing him again and again with no reason to believe he would come back to her. To this day, she can still look me in my eyes and tell me it was the most exhilarating feeling to walk down the aisle to my father know she was finally securing her future as his wife.” She swallowed hard, trying to blink away the tears.

“Did he ever come back?”

The girl hung her head, closing her eyes against the onslaught of sadness. Barry had his answer and he knew how she felt. He missed his father more than anything. He raised his hand and hesitantly placed it on her back feeling the need to console her.

“How is she able to keep her faith in him? After all this time?” Barry asked, doubtful. If anything happened to him, his wish would be for Iris to move on.

“She said that she would never give up on ‘the impossible.’”

Her words struck Barry deep in his core, making him stand abruptly. His mind was transported to the endless conversations he’d had with Iris and Joe rooted in “the impossible.” It was only a phrase, but it followed him even through the tragedies he’d suffered as a child. It was a phrase that had become so interwoven into their vocabulary, into his life, that he had long ago internalized that it was a marker for the hero he had become. There was no way her word choice could be a coincidence. Only someone who knew him would use it in the context she just did. Someone very close.

She knew it was irrational and she didn’t intend to blow her cover, but the opportunity presented itself so perfectly. She realized this could be how she saved him. She knew he was a smart man. He could make sense of the things she’d littered before him and he could do something about it. Something they didn’t try before. Anything. Sitting here talking with him for the past 15 minutes filled her with a desperation for the man that had unwillingly been snatched away from her before they were ready. She wasn’t sorry. Not yet, at least. There was no way of knowing if it was enough yet, but there were two outcomes. She could’ve just screwed time or she could’ve saved her father from whatever oblivion he had been flung to for 15 years and counting. She hoped it was the latter. She’d just have to keep a close eye on the situation.

Please figure it out.

He stood there staring blankly across the room no doubt trying to piece together her connection to him. She smiled at him once more, wistful and sad getting another good look at him. She would hug him if she could.

Her time here up.

For now, anyway.

“Who are-” Before Barry could finish, the girl leapt for the door, telltale lightning trailing behind her.

What the hell?

He was aware she could be working for someone, but she didn’t seem as if she wanted to harm him. He had been fooled before though. Clicking the pieces of the puzzle together made it even more difficult for him to process let alone accept. His mind was still struggling to pursue the train of thought, but the possibility presented itself. Was she related to him?

What if she was their daughter?

He immediately felt silly for thinking it given the little evidence, but he had learned to accept that in his realm nothing was off limits. The everlasting impossible always found new ways to turn his life upside down. It would also explain her acting as if she were in on jokes he never told and the unusual enchantment of his relationship with Iris.

She smiled just like her.

Barry’s eyes widened in disbelief at the turn of events. He had fully intended to chase after her, but his mind was still playing catch-up with his body. While he was in his stupor, she had gotten a head-start. She was probably long gone, but he still needed answers. Right when he made the decision to take off after her, Joe and Cisco were running to the door.

“Barry? What the hell is going on?” Joe demanded, just as confused as he was. “We thought that was you!”

“I- Joe, I have no idea!” His brain was still spamming him with overwhelming thoughts of what had just occurred. He couldn’t explain it if he tried.

“You have no idea who it could’ve been?”

“This is going to sound insane, but my daughter? I think-” He stuttered.

“Cool!” Cisco breathed, “All the fun stuff happens to you!”

“Excuse me?” Joe blinked rapidly, rubbing at his forehead. “How do you know?”

“It doesn’t matter. I have to go after her!”

“Barry, wait!” Joe caught his attention by wrapping a strong hand around his shoulder, “Did she seem dangerous?”

“No, but she-”

“Was she in any danger?”

“I don’t think so, but-”

“Then it can wait.” Joe said, pointedly.

Barry opened his mouth to protest, but Joe intervened.

“Son,” he leveled with him. “Right this very moment, you have a fiancée who is beside herself with excitement because she’s marrying the man of her dreams in,” he peeks at his watch, “Ten minutes. We both know we have to take these moments as they come. There’ll just be something else tomorrow.”

“You’ve seen her?” Barry smiled, already a little calmed at the mention of Iris. “She really looks excited?”

“Over the moon.” Joe leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “And beautiful.”

A smile bloomed across Barry’s face as he was once again encased in thoughts of Iris.

“Joe’s right, man.” Cisco said. “If whoever this girl is turns out to be a possible threat, she’ll be back.”

“Alright,” Joe smiled. “It’s time for you to take your places.”

Barry nodded. They were both right. He and Iris deserved this day. They weren’t separated from each other for six months for him to come back and skip out on his wedding to rush off after the unknown again. He had meant what he said about wanting to make the most of his time with her. Barry willed himself to push the girl’s troubling story to the back of his mind. Whether it was referring to them or not, he could use it as inspiration. He would accept that he couldn’t make the bad things in their life go away, but if everything crumbled to dust around him, he wanted her untouched. Deep down he knew it wasn’t entirely possible because she was a part of him, but he decided he was going to spend the rest of his life trying.

It was time for him to marry his girl.

You can also read here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13194177

And here: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12778870/1/

#westallen #barry allen #iris west #dawn allen #the flash #westallen fic

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dreamerology · 6 years

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my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

#dont feel like u gotta read this im just yelling 2 the void djkfhsjdhf #its rly long nd a lot of text but i wanted 2 write something nd it got sorta out of hand #i say 2k later kdjhfsjhfkjsd #long post /#IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILE AND THE READ MORE DOESNT WORK #lu.txt #for those who are wondering why its real ass emobebe hours its bc its my 1 year stanning mx and im a Giant Sap #now im gonna shut up and not talk for the rest of the year ://

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fvckingjongdae · 7 years

Text

Mystery Crush

Summary: You are a trainee from JYP. You’re visiting your brother Kai at his dorm that he shares with his group mates. It’s your first time meeting them and you’re super excited but also super nervous! Espescally to finally meet your crush!

Genre: Fluff, protective older brother Kai, silly boys, etc. blah blah.

Length: 2,246 words

I know I’m no expert or anything, just wanted to write a little something something. Didn’t proofread either so sorry if there’s any errors... Enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

You stood nervously in the elevator as you continued to ascend higher and higher into the earth’s atmosphere. Your stomach starts to do somersaults and you feel a bit dizzy. You were already nervous enough before about meeting your brother’s group mates for the first time, now you also have to worry about being simultaneously sucked from a hundred story window after a bird flies into it causing it to break and the strong winds from being so high up and plummeting to your death thousands of feet below. Why didn’t Kai tell you that they were so high up. He was always not so great about disclosing important details such as this. 15. 16. 17. 18 fucking stories high and the dings just kept dinging and dinging.

You closed your eyes and imagined being on a beach. A deserted beach, just you sitting on the dry sand watching the water. Watching the fish jump in the water and watching the crabs walk like their walking sideways. This was the only thing that could soothe your nerves when you were in high places. Your brother taught you that.

Knocking you out of your happy place, you finally feel a jolt and hear the elevator opening. 27 stories high. Buildings this high should be illegal. Relieved that the mobile horror show was over you excitedly step out of the elevator and walk down the long white hallway. Instead of the mild somersaults, your stomach starts to do a whole olympic level gymnastics routine performed by Gabby Douglas and your head feels like it’s oozing fragments of your brain. You needed to calm yourself before you even made it to the door. Leaning back against a door, you take a few deep breathes and fan yourself with your hands. You can do this. You can do this. They’re just guys. Guys. 8 incredibly insanely beautiful guys. Men. 8 incredibly insanely beautiful sexy men. You stop fanning yourself. I can’t do this. I can’t. I’m leaving. I’ll just tell Kai that I forgot that I had singing lessons today or something. Just as you were about to balance on your own two feet the door behind you swings open and you yelp as you feel yourself falling further and further behind you. This is it. You think with your eyes closed. A thousand feet to my death. Before you feel yourself hitting the ground you feel two strong arms stopping you.

“Yah! Y/n! What are you doing?”

You look up into familiar eyes.

“Big brother!” You exclaimed excitedly and turn around to give him a hug. You haven’t seen him in person for months, you we’re both really busy, him with his comeback and you with your trainee training but somehow you were lucky enough for this little get together to even be possible.

Kai hugs you back. “What were you doing standing out there for so long? You a made a lot of noise when you were leaning against the door, I thought someone was trying was break in!”

“You were always an irrational scaredy cat.” You laughed as you thought of the equally, actually more irrational thought of being sucked from a building and falling to your death. You both laughed as you released each other from the hug.

“You’ll be the scaredy cat when you finally meet your “future husband”. Kai puts up quote signs as he’s saying this as a fit a giggles leaves his mouth.

“SHHHH! Someone might hear you!” You say as you press a finger to your lips.

Kai uses his best stereotypical girl voice imitation, “Oh the man of my dreams, my knight in shining armor, the father to my children - “ just before he announces the name of your crush you cover up his mouth just in time as some of the members back their way into the entry hall, probably wondering what was all the noise about.

“Hi!” You say over excitedly as your hands continue to cover up the mouth of the man that is laughing hysterically now.

“Hello!” Chen says matching your enthusiasm. “ You must be Kai’s sister, y/n.” He says now in his regular voice. Such a sweet, soothing voice.

“Yes I am.” Taking your hands away from a still giggling Kai, you bow to him and Sehun and Chanyeol who entered with him.

“Ah.. I should have known just by looking at Kai, that his sister would be very pretty. I should have braced myself better.” Chanyeol says shaking his head.

“You’re right, hyung.” Sehun says with a shy little smile.

You blushed at their complements. “Yah! Don’t get any ideas about my little sister. I already know she’s pretty and so does she, that’s all that matters.” Grabbing your hand, Kai pushes past the boys and goes into a living room full of more members. You see Kyungsoo and Suho in the kitchen. Xiumin and Lay sitting at the dining room table with a laptop. Baekhyun sitting in front of the TV with a PAUSED screen displayed. They all look dead in your face as you enter the open concept living space.

There’s a few seconds of silence. You feel your cheeks heat up as all eyes are on you.

“Hello y/n! Welcome to our home!” Suho says as he exits the kitchen space and bows.

“Why so boring hyung?” Baekhyun says chuckling as he gets up from the floor and walks over to you, pushing Suho out of the way. “Hello y/n! Welcome to our home!” Baekhyun says while doing exaggerated aeygo and doing a little dance that included shaking his butt.

A few seconds of silence.

An eruption of laughter coming from all mouths in the room, including yours.

“Wow this guy is embarrassing!” Xiumin says as he clutches his stomach.

“That was priceless!” Lay says clapping his hands like a seal.

“I think Suho’s greeting was better!” Kyungsoo says in between breaths.

“That was so cute!” You say wiping tears from your cheeks.

“I’m glad you appreciated it!” Baekhyun says stepping to your side, poking his elbow out for you to hook your arm into his. “Y/n! Come play video games with me.” Baekhyun says leading you into entertainment space. “You can have Sehun’s controller.”

“Yah! Why does sh - “ Chanyeol gives Sehun an nudge. “Don’t be rude to our honored guest.” Chanyeol says as he follows behind you and Baekhyun, grabbing his controller, leaving behind a pouting Sehun.

Within several hours, you’ve played and dominated various shooter and hand to hand combat video games with Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Sehun. Ate some delicious food prepared by Kyungsoo. Caught up with your brother Kai. Exchanged witty banter with Chen. Watched funny EXO cracks on youtube with Lay and Xiumin. And took mental notes of being a good leader with Suho, with sutle giggles and chuckles in the background. Now it’s the end of night and you were all playing drinking games and having a great time. By this time you were all extremely drunk.

“Ahhh! I think that I’ve finally found the girl of my dreams. Y/n please marry me.” Chen slurs as he downs another shot.

“No no no no no. She doesn’t want you at all. I’m her type. Y/n marry me instead.” Chanyeol says extending his hand to you for you take.

You just laugh and laugh, not really understand what was currently happening. Man were you super drunk.

“No! I would never let my sister marry anyone of you guys. She’s too good for all of you.” Kai says while pouring himself another drink. “Besides,” He downs his drink. “Neither one of you is who she’s crushing on anyway.”

A few moments of silence. Even the side conversations had ceased. Eyes dart from you to Kai to different members around the table. Damn it. Kai and his big drunken mouth.

“Whaaaaaat?” Suho exclaims, mouth a gape.

“Who is she crushing on?” Kyungsoo asks with wide eyes.

“Is it me?” Sehun asks pointing to himself, looking straight into your eyes, your soul.

“No! It’s me!” Baekhyun says, jumping to his feet pointing to the heavens.

All of this yelling could be heard on Mars. Your dizziness starts to creep in again. Gabby Douglas has also retaken the stage in your tummy. You feel your cheeks getting hot, hotter than ever before.

“It’s obviously me.” Xiumin says, as he downs another shot.

“Sorry hyung but it’s me. We’ve been exchanging looks ever since she stepped in our dorm.” Lay says patting Xiumin sympathetically on the back.

Kai rubs his temples slowly as the commotion gets louder and louder. He looks over at you and sees how uncomfortable you’re becoming.

“Alright! Alright! Everyone shut up!” Kai yells, louder than anyone. The arguments cease, but the frowns do not. Kai turns to you. “Y/n, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, it just slipped. I know I always make fun of you because of your crush but I would never try to expose you like that.” You smile at your brother’s sad eyes. “Oh big brother. You’re always so extra emotional when you drink.” You chuckle and look at the other boys as they awaited your answer. You grab the bottle of alcohol in front of you and gulp down it’s remains. You’re going to need to be really extra drunk for whats about to happen next. You slam the empty bottle down on the table and gaze over all the extremely handsome faces. One in particular.

“You really want to know? The name of my crush?”

You see 8 heads nod frantically.

“Well how about I tell you who it’s not. We already know it’s not Chen or Chanyeol thanks to my big brother over here.”

Chen and Chanyeol give you pouty faces.

“Sorry boys, I think you’re both handsome and I like you but just not in that way.” You give a shrug. “My crush is not someone who was in EXO-M.”

“Aww man!” Lay says, looking defeated. Xiumin pours himself another drink, head hanging low.

“My crush is also not apart of the beagle line.” You said lowering your head as the truth slowly makes its way to the surface.

“Noooooooo!!” Baekhyun says, clutching his heart dramatically. “Y/n. I thought we had something.” Baekhyun says while pretending to wipe tears from his eyes.

6 eyes stare intensely at you as they await your next clue. You feel sweat start to form on your forehead.

“My crush is not a maknae.”

“Ahh. So this is what heartbreak feels like.” Sehun says as he leans back in his chair.

4 eyes. Gabby Douglas is also accompanied by Simone Biles at this point, and they are performing a special, complicated duo routine for the fans all around the world.

“My crush is not the main singer."

A few moments of silence. You close your eyes as you begin your thousands of feet descend into the abyss.

“Suho???”

“The boring guy?”

An eruption of questions fill the room, as objections and confusions are thrown at you. You glance at Suho, who hasn’t said anything during all of this. You can see a small smile and a hint of red on his cheeks.

“Alright everyone it’s getting late. Y/n needs to go back to her dorm.” Kai says standing up, looking at his phone for the time.

“Maybe she should just sleep in Suho’s room.” Baekhyun said with a sly grin.

“You little!” Kai says as he throws a piece of leftover shrimp at Baekhyun, which he annoying catches in his mouth. Suho gives him a subtle pinch on his arms, making Baekhyun make a face full of pain.

You help the boys gather up all the trash and dirty dishes and make your way to the entry hall with Kai.

“Ah! It was so great to see you little sis.” Kai squeezes you a give hug and gives you a kiss on your forehead.

“You too big bro.” You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. “My ride is here.” You said looking at your phone. “Until next time!” You said opening the door but something spots it from opening it all the way.

“So. Now that you’ve finally met your future husband, what do you think about him?” Kai asks with a curious smile, as he holding the door.

You blush. “He’s perfect.”

Kai smiles at your adorableness and lets you out the door. You walk down the long, hallway back to the hellevator when you hear someone running behind you. Probably Kai with a plate of leftovers. The person finally catches up to you and you turn to see the face of Exo’s leader.

“Y/n.”

You just stare at Suho, not sure what to say. All you could think about is that you’re alone with him.

“Y/n.” He says again. “Here’s my number. Call me sometime.” Suho extends his hand with a small piece of paper with some numbers on it. You take it out of his hand, slowly, like a zombie and couldn’t do anything else but smile like a clueless little girl. He gives you charming smile and walks back toward the dorm, hands shoved in his pockets.

The ding from the elevator and whooshing doors snaps you out of your trance, but only a little. You back into the elevator, still watching Suho walk back to his dorm. You look down at the piece of paper in your hand and smile dreamily.

“Perfect.”

#exo scenario #exo scenarios #exo fluff #exo #exo fluffs

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ventregardless · 4 years

Text

huge mood swing

weird how those have been happening a lot more than usual lately.

im trying to beat my computer about to die. I only have a few things to say, and I cant be fucked to get up and grab the charger from my room only to put it back in there so that I can watch hunter x hunter in the living room before it gets too dark, because frankly im a big scaredy cat pussy that cant do anything remotely required of an adult.

so.

im pretty proud of my shopping habit today. I went in, I assesed properly, I didnt give in to buying stupid shit that I already had, and because of my absolute god tier discernment I managed to only buy one thing!!

one!

very proud. in the grand scheme of things, that doesnt matter all that much, but it was a big deal to me and im excited to get my habits under control.

I dont know whats going on with my feelings lately.

I dont feel my best but I don’t feel my worst. some days are better than others. I can feel really good one moment but then the next I get smacked with a huge let down that brings my entire mood down to shit despite it not being a big deal at all.

I am realizing now that I probably really need to get my charger because I have a lot more to say than I figured and I kinda dont want to risk fucking up my flow.

brb.

I am back.

I supposed its a good thing I went to get up because I was able to put my zara bag back in the guest bedroom/second closet room.

Okay, in the super grand scheme of things, spending a solid $500 dollarinos on a bunch of clothes is probably not the best step in the right direction. BUT! To justify it, I really went on that wild bender because I have transitioning. It’s a big transition, a very big girl transition into adulthood. I have an aesthetic I want to keep up, and frankly, Miss Kelly Stamps has taught me that wanting to keep up with an aesthetic takes fucking work, so I sought out to put that god damn work in and I did. That was a very privileged sentence; putting in work towards my closet as if that’s the biggest thing I could be doing with my time. But honestly, I’m working towards an overhaul of like... everything. It’s not terribly torturous, at least not to me, (I just glanced outside and I’m noticing that I’m losing sunlight, but I really want to watch more hunter x hunter, but im scared to do that at night because im on that chimera arc, and I find it very dark and scary. So perhaps I should stop wasting time and wrap up my thoughts, but I have so many that idk how im going to do it)

Anyway, yeah, at least not to me.

It’s not that I don’t want to be myself. It’s that I’ve felt so trapped by an old self for so long, and a new self is ready to emerge that I really like, but she needs work to come out. And its ugly work, it is.

She’s trapped in here and I’m working to get her out.

Now, I’ve been slacking the last few weeks. Thankfully not to the point of no return, but enough to where I’ve really been feeling like garbage about it. So I’m starting again, and I’m pretty sure I can do it better this time. I had a wonderful start (not sure what it is with me and new weeks, I feel like fresh starts are best launched at the beginning of new weeks) but I did well. Made some returns, picked up my glasses, exercised some habits I want to curate, I’m doing a good job.

I’m hopeful to not have much errands to run after wrapping all of this up the next coming week. I say hopeful because honestly, I say that every week, and it doesn’t get any better because I’m an idiot. I know this.

But I feel this new change in my bones!! Can you believe it. Bones!

Few things I still want: Solid pairs of trousers (camel and black) Levi’s ribcage jeans/everlane cheeky jeans (black and classic blue) and heeled mary janes with a strap or some other black, square toed heel.

that’s a solid five more things I want in my arsenal that I can argue I need! But I cant order four of them until I get more other issue sorted out. Then will come winter, and I’ll have to replace my sweaters because I should look much different by then, and they will no longer due. Luckily, I have plenty of cardigans to buffer the issue, and thankfully the coats I boat were in mediums so I can get away with them, I believe. I’m imagining purchasing no more than like, four additional sweaters. Maybe even two, if I’m being as strict as I should be.

But that shopping will be spread throughout the year. Hopefully by september I will be where I want, if these habits I develop end up bending to my will.

I really want to stop being scared of little things eventually. But I need the fear so that I can do things. I need to be limited now so I’m not as much later, and I’ll have good habits to balance out any cravings I may have so that indulgence doesn’t lead to weighted regret.

I want to come up with a name for this idealism. I’ve bought six books this week, I want to read them... and I will. I want reading to be a habit. I want staying inside to be a habit. I want skirts and dresses and heels to be a habit. I want yoga and light work to be a habit. I want a lot of things.

I’m a little worried about my connection to Kelly. I want to be like her a lot. I think her philosophy is very cool, I rewatch the same videos multiple times over the course of a few days because I just like what she says. I like how smart she is and how sure she is of things. The discipline she has is very cool, and I want to get on a similar level soon. Not her extreme methods, per say, but a similar mentality because it’s fun to mimic and very much resonates with me.

She’s really cool.

I kinda want to be cool like that.

Things Ive learned:

This crochet and I are not friends. I miss my twists and my braids to my ass. But you see, I am not going anywhere, so investing in braids to my ass at this time would be incredibly stupid and hard on the neck for no good reason.

For someone who loves books so much, reading them is quite the hassle. How awful of me to buy so many but hardly read one?!

Slightly obsessed with my closet... unsure if in a good way... I’ll have to sit down with myself and inquire if we have a problem, which I think we might, and then go from there on how to get it under control.

Speaking of closets! I still think mine could be paired down some more. Though I went through it yesterday and happily got rid of things I don’t like nor fit, I still feel like I restrained on a lot of things. I’ll have to give that another go and be harder on myself and my items.

I like minimalism a lot. I want to read more about it and find more youtubers that talk about it. It interests me a lot, not because I want to be one exactly but I want to share their sentiments and teachings. It sits very well with me and my soul. I like that feeling.

Hair being short is a no go. I don’t care what itch I gain; never again. that’s dead, if you will. Though I don’t fully regret doing this cut, because I needed to scratch the itch to learn what I didn’t like. I saw what I look like and thats that!

I get full fast. Gotta slow down the habit of stuffing my face just because I can. You know. Eat when hungry, or whatever. How do people eat three times a day? Or more? I can’t even think about it without feeling full.

I like tea. I should drink it way more often.

I need to read more as well.

Anyway, some goals before I wrap this up:

I hope to hear back from crown and remodel soon. I would really like to take on either of those projects because it’s what I want. I love those spaces and I’m hopeful to aid in their curation.

Hopeful that this cut will get into full affect by mid july. It was a bit hasty of me to start it up at the beginning knowing that all of my items hadn’t arrived yet, so returns still need to be made as well as assessments.

Fill out that damned application (BH)

Watch some barbie/princess/disney movies cause you like that shit.

Read something! What is your deal! You have fics and books to devour why are you like this!

Anyway, I think I’m on the right track. I’m trying and it feels like it’s working sometimes but other times it doesn’t. It is working though, in ways. It’s okay that I don’t always feel like it... but it is.

This is going well!

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