#anyways. joe squared my beloveds i want them in more things now

[boyzphantasy]

do not separate

#mar.txt #VERY BIG DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT ME SHIPPING THEM. #I AM NOT SHIPPING THEM TOGETHER. #THIS IS FOR FUN BECAUSE THEY'RE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS NOW. #anyways. joe squared my beloveds i want them in more things now #stranger things #joe keery #joseph quinn #the only men to ever man #fruity four sv

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Callbacks & Cannoli Cake

Requested by: The wonderful Wignony! (“If I haven't missed the cut off, could I request an imagine with Joe and reader? Something sickeningly sweet and romantic, maybe along the lines of a proposal/ wedding day/ honeymoon?”)

Summary: Joe got good news at work, but tonight you’ll have something even better to celebrate. 

Warnings: Language, literal sugary sweetness, a tiny bit of angst (I’m sorry, you know me, I couldn’t help it! 😂).

Word Count: 1.5k.

You’re reading the text for the fifth time when he walks through the front door. I GOT THE PART!!! See yo fine ass at 6:15 ;)

“Hey, firefly!” Joe calls brightly, racing into the kitchen and linking his arms around your waist from behind, kissing the back of your neck with loud, comedic smacks as you giggle and try not to massacre the icing you’ve been painstakingly smoothing with a spatula. He’s called you that since your first date, a picnic in Grand Hope Park that was supposed to just be lunch and turned into drinks, tapas, dinner, and ice cream for dessert as fireflies crept out of their shelters and freckled the sky with their harmless, inborn lightning.

“Joe, babe, stop, please stop, I’m going to ruin the cake—”

Joe gasps, spying it for the first time. “A cannoli cake? You made me a cannoli cake?!”

You lift up the heavy glass cake plate and gingerly show him, wearing a sheepish smile. “I thought we should celebrate. There’s lasagna in the oven, it’ll be done in twenty minutes.”

“So we get to eat the cake first.”

You laugh, ferrying the cannoli cake to the kitchen table as Joe picks up the spatula and licks it like a lollipop, moaning orgasmicly, mascarpone frosting peppered with miniature chocolate chips dotting his nose and chin. “Tonight, Mr. Mazzello, you get everything you want.”

Today was his third callback for the part, a co-starring role of the protagonist’s best friend in a romantic comedy directed by Richard Curtis. And while you are firmly of the belief that Joe is more than worthy of lead roles—especially in romantic comedies, a genre in which he has been criminally underutilized—you know he’s thrilled to have landed it. Rebel Wilson, Colin Firth, and Zendaya are involved in the project as well, and filming will take place mostly in the gorgeous island paradise of Turks and Caicos. Which means that Joe will soon be jetting off to the Caribbean for months on end, leaving you here in Los Angeles to tend your bakery and catch up on your reading list and snuggle with the cats and try not to grow bitter about the fact that most people don’t have to give up their significant others for vast, volatile stretches of the year, most people don’t constantly feel like they’re battling to keep a surfboard level over waves of impermanence. And that’s what you’re really trying to do tonight: not just celebrate Joe’s accomplishments, not just make him happy, but to make sure he doesn’t notice the sadness around your eyes, the mournful slump in the set of your shoulders.

But as he sits down at the table and cuts two messy, hulking slices of cannoli cake and gives you the bigger one, Joe does notice something. His dark eyes catch on you and narrow. His brow furrows in concern. “What’s up, firefly?”

“Nothing,” you reply, slipping into the chair beside him, running your fingers through his hair and forcing a smile. “I’m so proud of you, Joe. And I know you’ll love it. I just...you know.” You take an unenthusiastic bite of cake and shrug, apologetic, feeling childish and selfish and ridiculous. “I’ll miss you.”

“Aww, I know, firefly. I’ll miss you too. But we’ll talk all the time, we’ll text and call and I’ll comment heart-eyes emojis on all your Instagram posts, and you can take a few long weekends to come visit me...and we can FaceTime so I can say hi to the cats and our beloved apartment!”

“Our apartment,” you murmur; because it doesn’t feel much like both of yours. You’ve only shared it for three months, and Joe has easily been out of town for two of them. And although you have no right at all to be disenchanted with an arrangement that you knowingly signed up for, you can’t help but fear that it all has an inescapable aura of transience, that one day Joe won’t come back home at all, and that the apartment won’t even feel that different without him in it; like he’s a comet that comes with the decades, a passing marvel that you can see but never own.

Joe reaches out and takes your free hand, the one not holding your fork. “Hey,” he says softly. “I know. Believe me, I know.”

“I’m not mad, I’m really not, I want you to have this. I know it’s what brings you happiness, I know it’s what you’re brilliant at, I just...I guess I just wish this all felt a little more permanent.”

That seems to surprise him. “What, like, you and me being permanent?”

“Yeah.” You take another bite of cannoli cake. It’s good. It’s really freaking good, actually. Joe’s massive slice is gone already; he cuts another, peering uncertainly over at you. He still doesn’t appear to get it. “What I mean is that I feel like you’re never here long enough for the apartment to start feeling like ours. You’re more like a guest. Petunia and Iris might think you’re just my hot friend who occasionally sleeps over and takes bubble baths with me.”

“I don’t think cats have a particularly deep understanding of commitment anyway.”

You laugh, mostly to break the gravity. This is the precise opposite of how you wanted this night to go. “Never mind, I’m being dumb. Forget it.” You smile again, as convincingly as you can. The scent of lasagna now fills the small kitchen; the orange-pink light of the sunset pours in through the open windows. “Enjoy Turks and Caicos. Make a hilarious movie. Slurp down your weight in daiquiris served in coconut shells. And try not to get too sunburned, I want to be able to touch you when I fly down to visit. We don’t need a repeat of Miami, lobster boy.”  

Joe sets down his fork, crosses his arms over his chest, and grins at you thoughtfully, craftily.

“Uh oh. What?”

“Well, you see, it’s interesting that you brought up this whole permanence thing.”

You shake your head. “Joe, really, I don’t want to make tonight about me. I just want to celebrate. Can we do that?”

“Oh, we’re still celebrating, firefly. But I have one more thing to tell you about.”

“It better not be another cat. That’s really not the solution to this problem. Is it another cat? Jesus christ, if your mother is trying to get us to adopt another one of her rescue cats, I’m going to fucking scream—”

“It’s not a cat.”

“Then what is it?”

“Well,” Joe begins, grinning broadly now. “I guess it’s less of something I have to tell you and more of something I have to ask you.”

“...Ask me...what...?”

His hand slides into the pocket of his Hawaiian cargo shorts—not his best look, if you’re being totally honest about it—where for the first time you notice the faint outline of a tiny square. He takes out the ring box and sets it down between you on the table. Your fork tumbles out of your grasp and hits the floor, splattering frosting and cake crumbs. An ecstatic gasp rips from between your teeth. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth.

“No way...”

“Yes way.” Joe gestures to the box. “I don’t know what continent I’m going to be on six months from now. I don’t know how often I’ll find myself home in our apartment. I don’t know how great of a cat dad I am. But I know that I want you with me every step of the way. So, if you’re down to make this thing permanent, and to bake me cannoli cakes for the remainder of my earthly existence, I’d like for you to marry me. I’d love for you to marry me, actually. And if you need some time to think it over before giving me an answer, I completely understand—”

You rush out of your chair and into his shocked but welcoming arms, almost knocking him out of his seat as you climb into his lap, laughing, crying, kissing him as tears stream down your cheeks. “I don’t need time. I’m saying yes. Right here, right now, Mr. Mazzello.”

“You don’t even want to see the ring first?” he teases.  

“Nope. I’m in no matter what it looks like. I swear on our neglected feline daughters’ lives.”

“Oh thank god, because my bank account is super sparse until this new gig starts paying and it’s a literal Ring Pop.”

Joe’s joking, of course; he’s joking almost all the time, which is one of the innumerable things you love about him. But you really don’t care what the ring looks like. You care about what it means, about the promise it holds, about the peace it gives you to carry around like armor against all the uncertainties of the world.

And Joe whispers, beaming: “Now, future Mrs. Mazzello, I really do have everything I want.”

#sleepover event! #joe mazzelo x reader #joe mazzello imagine

[msindrad]

an insanely long crazy-ass post about the dollars trilogy, I’m so sorry y’all

I FOUND THIS POST. I DID IT. I FOUND IT. JESUS. I spent the entirety of my yesterday searching for it.

I’m going to tag everybody who participated in this discussion and whose posts I‘ve found while searching for this discussion on the off-chance that they still might be interested in, yeah, discussing these films.

@clinteastwood-blog @geekboots-blog @istadris @sybilius @bleak-nomads @thenotsobad-thebad-andtheugly @bloncos @mcicioni-blog @unrealthings @stephantom @colonelmortimer

Also, please feel free to ignore me and my analytical outburst if you don’t feel like talking about the films or talking about them with my crazy hyperfixated ass specifically, lol. I didn’t mean to be rude by calling you out of nowhere, it’s just that sometimes people get excited when there is an enthusiastic newbie in the fandom and gladly return to their beloved canons.

Anyway. The dollars trilogy.

I’ll start with The Good, the Band and the Ugly (and will probably make myself instantly unlikable by nitpicking things, (sigh)).

As stupid as it might sound – the film being an absolute masterpiece, a cultural milestone that is timeless, epic, work of genius, love it, will write and draw about it with pleasure etc. – I’m kind of inclined to find the GBU the weakest film in the trilogy storywise. Don’t get me wrong: the plot is interesting and strong, every scene is entertaining, smart, and instantly quotable… But.

There are a few things that make the story, taken holistically, weak to a degree, especially in contrast to the other two films. Now, let me explain my bold-ass claim.

The first reason I couldn’t even pinpoint for myself until my best friend asked me: yeah, it’s all cool and fun, but what has really changed at the end of the film? They stopped the battle/blew up the bridge (kudos for the pacifist message), they killed a few folks on the way including Angel Eyes, but what did the story amount to in the end? Was their relationship changed? Have they themselves learned something about life, universe and everything? Tuco is still on the rope, Blondie still shoots the rope. They both got their money, split it 50/50. Sure, now it’s an insane amount of money but will it make them reconsider their ways of life? I don’t know, and I don’t necessarily think so. They’re really back to square one. If you consider the graphic novel The Man With No Name canon, then (spoiler) Blondie gives his money away to help rebuild the monastery of Tuco’s brother, and Tuco himself doesn’t really invest his share in anything other than booze, and sex, and troubles, so. Then, Angel Eyes got killed off, but he had even less backstory/character arc than, for instance, Captain Clinton, not to mention that his image, as memorable as it was, kind of lacked certain complexity, so, does it really matter storywise (although he is a great, stylish character, but I hope that you get what I mean)? (Note: Angel Eyes should have been the film’s ultimate personification of the war (inhumanely ruthless, only interested in money, extremely goal-oriented etc.), which, the war, kind of is the main antagonist of the film if you think about it; but the way he was used in the plot, the way he acted, and was generally presented, communicated it only in a limited way, imo).

Everything about the adventure was fun, smart, entertaining, one of the best films ever made, I agree 100%, and I rewatched it with pleasure many times. But I believe that stories have to bring about some palpable change in their world in order for them to be successful and finished. The GBU, in my opinion, doesn’t do it because it doesn’t want to be a story-story, and it’s fine with just letting its characters exist in a magic Western/a cowboy fantasy/a fairy tale. And I guess it’s also one of the reasons why the story didn’t go anywhere from the GBU – there is nothing to add to a basis like that. And I can’t help noting that it’s super ironic that the only film in the trilogy that truly seems to be all about money-money-money has no “dollars” in its title.

Another thing that I think is super important: there is almost no female energy or presence in the film. And it’s not even a matter of representation that bugs me, although I think it’s very important. It just feels like there is a deficit of something vital that renders everything even sort of unrealistic. In AFOD we have Marisol and we have Consuelo Baxter, and they’re relevant for the plot, and they have goals, motivations… lines. In FAFDM we have Mary, who has only a few brief moments, but she’s memorable, endearing, and she has a small story/motivation of her own, and we also have Mortimer’s sister, who is EXTREMELY important, and who also isn’t just symbolic, she herself makes a plot-relevant decision on screen, although a really horrible one from my personal moral standpoint. In the GBU we have what? A prostitute that’s beaten up by Angel Eyes (I never watch this scene), another woman at the hotel where Blondie stays in that is shut up and called an old hag or something like it, and another woman that makes a comment about Tuco’s hanging. None of them are memorable or have motivations on their own, and to me it makes the film lacking some really important counterpoint in terms of dynamics etc.

And nobody needs me to describe all the things that the film is awesome at because everybody knows that the film is one of the best films ever made, so painfully gorgeous that it’s difficult to praise it. So, I’ll move on to the other two films but will briefly talk about Tuco and Eli Wallach.

Eli Wallach is considered one of the best actors ever to appear on film for reason, so, I’ll just say about my personal impressions from his performance: he really made me emphasize with Tuco. His acting is incredibly rich, nuanced, concentrated, and, imo, just leaves you no choice but to think of Tuco as a real complex human being, not a film character. And Tuco is a superb character. Over the course of the story he gets to be loathsome, humane, funny, silly, terrifying, and cunning, - often all those at the same time. That’s one hell of a captivating character who’s just very, very interesting to watch and to analyze, regardless whether you like him or not.

Then, we have A Fistful of Dollars. I’m a huge fan of classic adventure stories that are gen, plot-driven, and have smart main characters figuring out a way to get what they want without being destroyed by other characters for wanting or trying to get it in the first place. I think it’s very difficult and very rewarding to write a good story in this genre. AFOD is exactly this kind of story, and this kind of stories is only as good as their protagonists’ maneuvers are. And Joe is, like, a tactical genius (the barrel! the fire!). And it’s much better to rewatch the film to remind yourself of how smart he is than have me talking about it, so.

But apart from that he is also humanized by his deeply personal motivations that appear completely irrational especially in contrast to his clever manipulations of the Baxters and the Rojos. And he doesn’t do it egotistically, to “get the girl,” which wouldn’t make him particularly sympathetic one way or another. Sure, he makes a good buck at the end, but his primary motivation still is justice for Marisol and her family (and then protection of his friend). Additionally, Joe gets his fair share of punishment for providing said justice, which further humanizes him and kind of makes you worry about him. And Silvanito with his scolding, humor, and skepticism helps with it a lot, too.

And then, there is the fact that the film wants the audience to either want to be Joe or want to be with him, sometimes both at the same time. Everybody on screen is a single Joe’s wink away from swooning because how he practically oozes charisma (only Silvanito is immune to his charms). I can’t blame them, though.

And I also want to point out the last lines of the film: Joe says that he doesn’t want to get involved into politics because that would be too much for him, and I think that it’s very fitting. The film just showed how cool he is, but he knows his limits, and he knows that he operates on a different plane.

So, all in all, it’s a masterfully done story.

Finally, we have For a Few Dollars more. I love all three films, but FAFDM is my favorite, there’s no doubt about that. I’ll start with the fact that it’s perfectly structured and perfectly balanced. We have three big players, Mortimer, Manco, and Indio, and the film shows how dangerous and how smart each of them is, so that the conflict between them ends up being very, very suspenseful. Not to mention the fact that it takes Manco and Mortimer almost 40 minutes, I think, to finally properly meet – by that time we are already speculating who will be the winner in the end, how will they react to each other, how will they interact, how will they work together etc. We get to know them quite well first, and then their relationship allows us to explore their characters even deeper through their interactions, their differences, and their similarities. For some time, storywise they become a single unit. While the story of Indio’s assault on Mortimer’s sister is revealed parallel to the plot.  

Indio himself is terrifying as hell without being cartoonish. He is a really dangerous, broken man that is also methodical, smart, and ruthless. He is so bad that he kills the opponent’s family just to make him bitter enough to draw on him. And he is so bad that he is okay with killing off his own gang.  

Speaking of which, Indio’s gang is colorful. He has interesting interactions with them at the beginning, in that church. And Klaus Kinski made his Wild stand out to me. I swear, the moment he almost cries in that saloon when Mortimer takes away his cigar, I feel bad for him every single time. And when he recognized Mortimer, it was tense. He even had a cool witty one-liner after Mortimer said that he should come to him in ten minutes to help him light that match and smoke: “In ten minutes, you’ll be smoking in hell!”

By the way, Indio’s tendency to get unnecessarily physical with his gang looks even more unnerving when he touches Manco to check his wound/shares a smoke him with some clearly visible eroticized subtext, which gets even creepier when you realize that he is a rapist. I swear, I was worried about Mortimer when I saw the film for the second time – that is even though I knew the plot – because Manco brought up that family resemblance between Mortimer and his sister, and we all know what Indio did to her.

What else? I could bring up all sorts of things, the action, the final duel, the small smart details that allow the plot to happen the way it happens (e.g. how Manco manages to hide the bag with all the money on that tree before Indio’s gang capture him and Mortimer – only to re-collect that bag at the end of the film), the humor, the street kids and all the other cool-cool secondary characters (Joseph Egger’s informer probably is my favorite), the opening sequence and the title card (oops, already rambled about this one) really, anything and everything including the perfect chemistry between Manco and Mortimer.

But I’ll just say that the music in this film is special to me. Every single composition by Ennio Morricone is special, unique, memorable, and intriguing, it’s true, and so it feels redundant and banal to say something like this. The Ecstasy of Gold is almost extraterrestrial, the main theme of Two Mules For Sister Sara imitates actual mule sounds, how genius is that, etc., and you must be dead to not be enticed and mesmerized beyond words by the main theme of the GBU, which is a hymn of all spaghetti Westerns now, a universal call for adventure (I feel like a bad person saying this, but I’ve always wanted to joke that Ennio put sexy back into the “waah-waah”… no, I regret nothing).

BUT. To me personally, the music in FAFDM is as personal as the film itself, and dare I say even more important to the story than in the GBU, despite the theme of the GBU being a kind of Greek choir throughout the film. The personalized sounds for Manco and Mortimer accentuate their personalities to the point where they almost create a reflex in you. The pocket watch chime is literally part of the story and plays a huge, crucial role in the plot! And it’s decidedly one of the saddest musical scores I’ve ever heard. It’s minimalist, mournful, and yet also nostalgically bittersweet. It feels like a reminder that there’s no going back whatever that might mean in the actuality. And the famous moment where Manco asks Mortimer whether his question was indiscreet and Mortimer says that the answer could be… I feel personally touched whenever I watch the scene. For me, it doesn’t feel like just an amazing scene, it triggers some deep emotion that is hard to express and almost gives me the urge to cry. Something along the lines of respectful and compassionate “I’m sorry that it happened to you,” “I’m sorry that I can’t help you.” The feeling of personal tragedy is conveyed infinitely better than a three-volume backstory ever could.

And then, there is this huge potential for all the stories about Manco, and Mortimer, and Blondie, and Tuco, and Angel Eyes, and even Joe to explore... Well, I better stop here.

So, yeah. It turned out to be a crazy long post, and I‘m grateful to anybody who reads it till the end. And if you haven’t watched these movies please do. Cheers.

#the dollars trilogy #dollars trilogy #spaghetti western #sergio leone #clint eastwood #lee van cleef #eli wallach #the gbu #the good the bad and the ugly #for a few dollars more #a fistful of dollars #joe #manco #blondie #colonel douglas mortimer #angel eyes #tuco #klaus kinski #out loud #the spirit of the west #ennio morricone #two mules for sister sara #the man with no name #mantimer #mancomer #blonco

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 6 Extravapalooza

This week’s slate of early games....is not good. If ever there were a day to forgo NFL football and attend to some neglected tasks around the house, catch up on some paperwork for the office, or even spend some time with family, today is that day. OR maybe just drink more than usual to make the football appear more attractive than it is. Both paths are healthy and good.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today. 

EARLY GAMES

Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans (-3.5)

Like everyone else, I was GREATLY amused by Derrick Henry leaving a chalk outline of Josh Norman on the field via stiffarm in the Titans’ win over Buffalo on Tuesday. That said, Derrick Henry isn’t having a great season thus far. He’s averaging a career-low 3.7 yards per carry (down from 5.1 last year and 4.9 the year prior). His drop in efficiency has been masked by an increase in attempts (25 per game this year, 20 per game last year). His longest run so far this season is a measly 16 yards. Is he already wearing down? Is this just small sample noise? I dunno, but I don’t feel super great about his prospects today despite the great matchup, considering that he just had 20 touches against the Bills on Tuesday night.

Cincinnati Bengals at Indianapolis Colts (-7.5)

I really don’t have much to say about this game. I’m rooting for Joe Burrow like always, but this Indy defense is nasty and he’s still a rookie. Could be a rough one for him, but don’t worry I still think he’s the coolest and wish more than anything that he’d start smoking cigarettes on the sideline.

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings (-4)

We’re long past the point where I need to accept that my faith in the Falcons was misguided, and yet here I am, picking them to cover once more. Gotta capitalize on that dead Dan Quinn bounce, baby! At least this time they’re squaring off against another squad of top-shelf bed-shitters in the Minnesota Vikings. Each of these teams have already sustained multiple heartbreaking losses already this season, with the Vikings somehow picking up two one-point Ls in their last three games. I’m genuinely impressed by the ability of these franchises to rip the hearts out of their own fanbases. Even when they blow games in ways they’ve blown them many times before, they still somehow manage to make it feel fresh. That’s not easy.

Denver Broncos at New England Patriots (-8)

As of now it looks like Denver QB Drew Lock will be back for this game, which is nice. He’s going to be without RB Melvin Gordon and TE Noah Fant, which isn’t so nice. After what felt like an eternity, but was really only one game, New England is getting QB Cam Newton back after his asymptomatic bout with COVID-19. Hallelujah!

Honestly, I don’t have a clue what to expect in this game. The Broncos haven’t played since October 1st, and the Patriots have had their facilities closed multiple times over the last couple of weeks, so practice has been sparse. I’m gonna go ahead and assume this one will be kind of ugly for both teams and I’m tempted to take the eight points. That said, I think Denver is really going to struggle to score, so fuck it I’ll make the homer pick.

Washington Football Team at New York Giants (-2.5)

Baltimore Ravens (-9.5) at Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles QB Carson Wentz is a broken man, his offensive line is in shambles, his favorite target (TE Zach Ertz) is either completely washed or isn’t trying due to contractual unhappiness, his #1 WR today is a 2019 6th round pick named Travis Fulghum, and he gets to face a Ravens D that ranks in the top 5 in EPA (Expected Points Added) against both the pass and the run and that blitzes at the second highest rate in the league. He’s gonna have a bad time. Luckily, fans will be allowed inside Philadelphia’s stadium for the first time this season, so he’ll at least have kind words of support from the stands to keep him going.

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5)

This is a tough matchup for Browns QB Baker Mayfield. He’s struggled with accuracy all season, and I can’t imagine having injured ribs is going to help him zip the ball where he wants to, especially after he gets hit a few times by the very good Pittsburgh pass-rushers. My #1 hope for this game is a bench-clearing brawl, preferably after Myles Garrett levels Ben Roethlisberger and then taunts the hell out of him.

Chicago Bears at Carolina Panthers (-1)

It’s time for me to admit that I was wrong in my belittling of Panthers QB Teddy Bridgewater and the rest of the Carolina offense. They’ve been sharp as hell, and there’s been hardly any drop-off at all going from injured All-Pro RB Christian McCaffery to journeyman backup Mike Davis. Add WR Robby Anderson to the growing list of players who have IMMEDIATELY flourished after escaping the vortex of incompetence constantly swirling around incredible dipshit Adam Gase.

Detroit Lions (-3) at Jacksonville Jaguars

BIG CAT BATTLE! In a fight between Lions and Jaguars, it really comes down to terrain. Lions are bigger and stronger, and if this confrontation were out in the grasslands they’d have a decided edge. However, this contest takes place on the turf of the Jaguars, where they’ll be able to use their agility and climbing skills to their advantage.

LATE GAMES

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins (-9.5)

I’d like to think a thorough ass-kicking by Miami here would rid the Jets players of Adam Gase once and for all, but expecting a logical move from an unqualified failson is probably unwise. I’m enjoying what the Dolphins are putting together under Brian Flores, the first good Bill Belichick disciple. 

Green Bay Packers (-1) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

Most of the focus on this game has been on the QB matchup, which is understandable. The fact that each of these guys is welcoming back an All-Pro WR (Davante Adams for GB, Chris Godwin for TB) does make it extra spicy. But, I think the deciding factor here is gonna be defense. This is bad for the Packers, because outside of DB Jaire Alexander, theirs has sucked so far. Meanwhile, the Bucs come in at #2 overall on Football Outsiders Defensive Efficiency Rankings, where they’re equally effective against the run or the pass.  

SNF: Los Angeles Rams (-3) at San Francisco 49ers

Niners QB Jimmy Garoppolo looked horrific last week in his return from an ankle injury. He was clearly not close to 100%, and despite positive practice reports this week on his injury status I can’t buy in until I actually see him able to step into his throws. I was actually surprised to see the O/U on this one at 51.5, as it feels like a low-scoring game to me, a man who definitely knows what he’s talking about.

MNF (Early): Kansas City Chiefs (-4.5) at Buffalo Bills

I’m furious with Kansas City for bringing in RB Le’Veon Bell to siphon touches away from my beloved Clyde Edwards-Helaire. IT’S NOT HIS FAULT THE O-LINE CAN’T RUN BLOCK WORTH A DAMN! Anyway, due to COVID-19 protocols, Bell won’t be suiting up for this one, so here’s to CEH ending his time as the primary back in a blaze of statistical glory. These teams are each coming off of bad losses, so I expect them to come out guns-a-blazin’. The Bills are fun as hell, but I can’t take them in a shootout against K.C. just yet.

MNF (Late): Arizona Cardinals (-1) at Dallas Cowboys

Dak Prescott’s gruesome injury was a huge bummer, even if you’re like most right-thinking people and viscerally dislike the Cowboys. I hope he recovers and eventually ends up with the huge pile of cash he was headed for prior to his lower leg turning into a Rice Krispies Treat. As far as backup QBs go, Andy Dalton isn’t terrible, but you know what is? The Dallas defense. I don’t think they can make enough stops to keep the Cowboys in this one, even if the offense still looks decent.

Last Week’s Record: 7-6

Season Record: 37-31-4

#Sports! #Football #NFL #Gambling

[ducktracy]

128. westward whoa (1936)

disclaimer: unfortunately, this is one of those cartoons that requires a disclaimer. this review you’re about to see entails racist stereotypes, concepts, and imagery. i do not at all support or condone these ideas in any way, shape, or form—they’re gross and wrong. it would, however, be just as gross of me to skip over them. this review is for the intent of educating and informing, and i don’t at all intend to harm or offend anyone. with that said, PLEASE let me know if i say something harmful, offensive, or wrong. it’s not my intent whatsoever and i want to be aware of my mistakes so i can fix them. thank you for bearing with me, and i hope you can understand.

release date: april 25th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: bernice hansen (ham and ex, kitty), tommy bond (beans), joe dougherty (porky)

hard to believe it’s time already, but this is the last appearance of beans. little kitty makes an appearance in plane dippy (i’ve seen some sources list plane dippy before the blow out, which i suppose makes more sense. it can be difficult to decipher the order of these cartoons when you have 3 different conflicting release dates for each cartoon. i suppose the order doesn’t matter as much as the content but still. i think around 1937 things start to get more concrete) and the bespectacled unnamed dog with an overbite who occasionally makes appearances reappears in shanghaied shipmates, but now the cartoons begin to shift focus towards porky. it’s been a good run, beans! unfortunately, his last goodbye isn’t the most savory of cartoons—out west, ham and ex cry wolf, pretending to be native americans and crying for help, but, of course, REAL native americans show up and no one believes their pleas for help.

open to a wagon train traversing the old west. beans and kitty are included in the band of pioneers, singing “covered wagon days”, vocals contributed by their cattle, some other pioneers, etc. even porky’s shown playing a flute solo. another gag includes a man riding his mule, essentially walking on top of it—he walks on ahead with his beer bottle, leaving the donkey behind. i’ve said it before, but i find it so interesting that jack king included songs in his cartoons. freleng and avery has mentioned how the merrie melodies format was nothing but a burden to their cartoons, having to work around the story to arbitrarily include a song in, yet king seemed to make it a point to include a song when he didn’t have to.

the gang settle in (kitty excitedly babbles on about how nice the spot they chose would be, with a lovely lake, big rock, trees, etc etc) quite comfortably. fade out back in to some pioneers square dancing to “oh, susanna!” (fun trivia, bugs and elmer sing a duet of “oh, susanna!” in the wacky wabbit, another western cartoon) a crowd clapping and cheering them on.

beans is enjoying himself, dancing along to the music. ham and ex run up to him and excitedly declare in unison “we’re gonna play indians!”, to which beans playfully warns “be careful the indians don’t getcha!” yep, it’s one of THOSE cartoons. unfortunately, this genre of cartoons would span all throughout looney tunes’ lifespan, moreso concentrated in the 30s and 40s, but the last ever classic era cartoon in 1969 is literally named inj*n trouble (a remake of the 1938 short by bob clampett, which he also remade in 1945 as wagon heels). so, unfortunately, this is the start of an unsavory and cringeworthy batch of cartoons.

ham and ex giggle and hobble away, but almost immediately halt in their tracks. behind a rock appears to be a native american headdress that’s moving. ham and ex exchange worried glances and eventually creep up to the source... only to find that it’s just a turkey pecking at the ground. this, of course, gives ham an idea (as always, there’s literally no way to tell them apart. i’m just going by left and right. who ever is on the left is ham, whoever on the right is ex) as he whispers into ex’s ear.

their idea? running around yelling “indians! help!” beans drops his stack of wood he’s carrying and reaches for his rifle, echoing their warning (in, for some reason, a deeper voice that is in no way tommy bond’s?) all of the pioneers are alerted and resort to gunfire. a dog in a pond shoots his rifle, skipping around like a rock in water. another dog hops into a wood stove and fires from there.

beans darts over to the rock where the turkey (unbeknownst to him) is pecking at the ground. beans fires, and does a jack king hat take when he realizes he shot the fan off of a turkey instead. ham and ex find it just absolutely hilarious, doubling over in a fit of laughter. beans is pissed and approaches them, warning ex that a native american will someday get them and (he pretends to cut his neck) “krrrrrrk! off goes your head!” he retreats, done with his lecture, when he suddenly whips around and snaps “and you too!” at ham. finally some nice comedic timing and a clever joke, but a shame it has to be wasted on something so racist and tiresome.

if ham and ex were rattled by beans’ lecture, they do little to express it. in fact, ex whispers in ham’s ear, both smiling with mischievous pride. ex thusly launches into a war call (ugh), followed by ham, and predictably beans is fooled again. he grabs his gun and starts running around in a flurry once more, his pioneer buddies also shooting aimlessly. ham and ex are now, for some reason, in the same spot where beans was prior (it never showed them running around). suddenly, ham taps ex on the back, who’s in a fit of hysterics. they both dart off screen as a frustrated and befuddled beans approaches, scratching his head.

now, ham and ex seek refuge behind a log, laughing and continuing their war cry. but get this—an ACTUAL grotesquely and stereotypically caricatured native american pops out from behind a tree! who would’ve thunk it? and, of course, he’s depicted as a barbaric savage. ugh. ham and ex run away, and once more does their routine of crying for help ensue, yet this time they actually mean it. the two pups hide inside the log, the native american diving in after them. the twins make it out of the other end as the native american gets stuck, and they both beat his head and butt with clubs respectively.

the twins cry once more, and, just as the classic story goes, no one believes them. beans runs his laundry through a wringer while kitty proposes he go check on the kids—“never can tell what they’re up to!” elsewhere, porky peels potatoes and shrugs off the cries for helps. he talks to the audience and stutters “it’s just those kids trying to fool you again.”

back to ham and ex. ham beats the native american on the butt, and he’s propelled out of his log and hurdles straight towards a tree. as the twins attempt to escape, they encounter more native americans, who attempt to dog pile on them. they narrowly escape, and this time run around in helpless circles near porky, who’s still (captivating as ever) peeling potatoes, merely smiling and shrugging. they both dive into a trunk at the base for safety. porky comments “those kids must think we’re pretty dumb.” he laughs (i think? he makes some sort of huh-huh noise but he looks more worried than joyful), but his laughter is quickly cut short once an arrow flies right through his beloved potato and splits it in two.

now porky attempts to make a break for it, running around aimlessly and tripping over a spare rifle in the foreground (i will admit that the shot is rather nicely staged.) suddenly, a ton of native americans pour into their base, all doing a war cry. porky struggles to get his warning out, but he has no trouble shouting “INDIANS!” after an arrow zings him right in the butt.

i know directors had lamented about working with joe dougherty’s natural stutter, because they couldn’t play around with his dialogue as much. mel blanc’s porky, as you know, would typically change his sentence structure in the midst of a stutter. i had watched porky in egypt earlier today, so i’ll use it as an example: at one point, porky laments “it’s awful war-wa-w-h-ho-h—gosh, i’m roasting!” that sentence structure was made famous by vaudevillian roscoe ates, who overcame a natural childhood stutter. part of his shtick would be to substitute his own words to make them come out easier. they wanted to take that direction with porky since the dougherty days, but couldn’t because of his natural stutter. tex avery has lamented about how much film was wasted during recording sessions with dougherty. so, to substitute, they’d play around with gags like these to get him to hurry up, whether it be whistling at him or, in this case, shooting him with an arrow. so it’s interesting to see them play around with his stutter as much as they could.

there’s a really strange cut that contributes to the cartoon’s incoherency—beans is chased by a native american brandishing a tomahawk while kitty cowers. beans is pinned beneath the crank of the wringer, and kitty tugs at the clothes in the wringer, which causes the handle to repeatedly smack the native american in the chin. it’s very subtle, but you see beans leap off of the wringer. a jump cut and beans is perfectly in position near a wood stove, shooting his pistols. the transition is nonexistent, almost no indication to show that he was in peril 4 seconds earlier. anyway.

an arrow pierces beans’ coonskin hat, a native american firing a number of arrows at him. beans hatches an idea and opens the door to the wood stove. the arrows fly into the stove and shoot right out of the pipe back at the perpetrator like a boomerang, pinning him against a tree. elsewhere, a native american attempts to slice a dog with his tomahawk. the dog takes off a toupee and hands it to the native american (a reference to the practice of scalping, like it sounds, cutting part of a human scalp with the hair attached. norm mccabe plays around with the word in the daffy duckaroo when daisy june tells daffy her boyfriend was wanted for ticket scalping.)

gags ensue as the fight rages on. a native american curves an arrow to shoot like a curveball, but it hits him in the but as the pioneer ducks. beans prepares to hit a native american over the head with a club, but instead hits another BEHIND him as he anticipates to go into the swing, eventually hitting them both. porky’s shooting his rifles, when an arrow pierced his suspenders. porky struggles to get his pants to stay up, occasionally flashing the audience as he continually hikes them up. another arrow shoots by and lodges in both his pants and shirt, effectively pinning the pants securely. i will give credit where credit is due, that’s a gag that actually feels somewhat funny.

meanwhile, ham and ex dive into some dresser drawers, popping out at the top of the dresser and hitting a native american over the head with hair brushes. they continue to hit and mock him, like a makeshift game of whack a mole. the native american cuts the dresser in half with his tomahawk, reaching into both halves and grabbing the kids, who cry for help. beans discovers a bear trap, and circles it like a lasso, throwing it right at the native american. it hits—where else?—right in the butt, and he retreats, the kids watching him go. unbeknownst to them, beans is creeping up slowly from behind. he does a war chant to give them a taste of their own medicine, and, of course, the pups are scared out of their wits. we iris out on their little eyes peering out of the trunk they used as a hideout.

to say the least, i hate this cartoon. this is my least favorite jack king cartoon to date, and least favorite beans cartoon. it’s a shame, i actually liked beans and i wish he had a more ceremonious goodbye. as you can obviously see for yourself, the cartoon is downright racist, mean spirited, and ugly. unfortunately i’ve seen a good handful of cartoons in this genre, and they’re all obviously racist, but this one in particular feels exceptionally mean spirited and grotesque. and aside from all THAT, it’s an obnoxious, repetitive cartoon. porky peels potatoes! beans gets mad! people shoot guns! ham and ex yell! as high energy as it is, there’s nothing very exciting about it. i saw this one in november—i wanted to watch every looney tunes cartoon, but didn’t know how i would commit/it was too daunting, so i instead settled for watching every porky cartoon since he’s been established so early on. told myself i wouldn’t watch it again, and here we are!

as for beans, it’s been... something! i say this is his final appearance, but he DOES make a cameo in plane dippy, nothing more. in fact, out of all 11 cartoons he was featured in, 2 of them are just mere cameos, so really he only has 9. and again, some sources list plane dippy as being made before westward whoa, which makes sense. regardless, i like beans. i love cat characters in general (sylvester was my favorite as a kid since i had a tuxedo cat of my own), but he definitely had more flavor than buddy, yet still falling into the happy to lucky protagonist. out of all 3 beginner stars, bosko, buddy, and beans, bosko was the most fleshed out and fun to watch. i certainly took him for granted when watching his cartoons (because i couldn’t shake the notion that “this is a blackface caricature”)—he was very bouncy and a musical character, and he was almost captivating to watch. buddy and beans you don’t get that musicality (i argue that in some cartoons, porky is a VERY musical character. i did an analysis on it here, which i’ll go more in depth on when we cover prehistoric porky). so, better than buddy, not as good as bosko. i’ll still miss him, but porky’s time to shine is finally here, and things are going to get rolling!

i don’t at all recommend this cartoon, but if you’re that curious i’ll put a link. obviously view at your own discretion.

#lt #westward whoa #reviews #long post #racism tw #king

[viewwrangler]

Chicago elections 2019

So it appears that as a result of last night’s effectively-a-primary election, Chicago will have

1) its second black mayor ever

2) its second woman mayor ever

3) its first black woman mayor ever, and

4) there’s a very strong possibility that it will have its first LGBT mayor ever

Not too shabby for one night’s elections, really.

Chicago poised to elect first African-American female mayor after Lori Lightfoot, Toni Preckwinkle advance (chicagotribune.com)

Chicago will elect its first African-American female mayor after former federal prosecutor Lori Lightfoot and Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle won enough votes Tuesday amid a record field of 14 candidates to move on to an April runoff election.

It’s only the second time Chicago has had a runoff campaign for mayor, which occurs when no candidate collects more than 50 percent of the vote in the first round.

Unofficial results showed Lightfoot with 17.5 percent of the vote, Preckwinkle with 16 percent and Bill Daley with 14.7 percent, with 96 percent of precincts counted. [...]   One of them will become Chicago’s second female mayor, following Jane Byrne, who served one term from 1979 to 1983. And if Lightfoot is elected, she would become the city’s first openly gay mayor. Both would become the second African-American elected Chicago mayor after Harold Washington, who served from 1983 until he died in 1987....

Historic Chicago election draws national spotlight, praise from black, LGBTQ communities: 'I think Chicago is potentially ready to turn the corner' (chicagotribune.com)

[...]  after Tuesday’s election winnowed down 14 mayoral candidates to two African-American women, one of them openly gay, both Chicago voters and national political groups are focusing instead on how the city’s politics are set to change. [...] Longtime Chicagoan and former presidential candidate the Rev. Jesse Jackson said in a Facebook post that he “could not be prouder” of Chicago. “For the first time in history, the next mayor of Chicago will be a black woman,” Jackson said. “Two progressive African-American women will square off in the April 2 mayoral runoff. I could not be prouder of my beloved city. We made herstory tonight.”

Live Chicago election results (chi.vote)

It will be interesting to see how the votes redistribute in the April final election. Turnout will be sharply lower, one suspects -- it generally is in what feel like special elections -- which may favor Preckwinkle. Assuming that she can shed being attached somewhat indirectly to a big, spreading corruption investigation in City Hall, that is. (There was a big hand-wringing Tuesday morning and afternoon about turnout being sharply lower in this election -- they were predicting it could be the lowest and oldest and whitest turnout this century -- but there was a late surge that was bigger, younger, and browner. ‘Cause millennials -- and damn near everyone else -- gotta work, y’all. It may be a rule/union requirement that some people get time off for voting, but hell if there’s a single business going to let ‘em, you hear me?)

I am kind of impressed that the whole thing about Lightfoot being a lesbian -- and married with children, even -- is more or less relegated to a sort of, “Oh? Yeah? Interesting. But how’s she going to handle the unfunded pension mandates without raising taxes?” issue. As it should be. (Also, pretty sure the pension issue can’t be handled without more tax increases, unfortunately.)

Elsewhere in our elections, we seem to have a theme:

Chicago’s Election Signals Break from the Past — in Wards and at City Hall (propublica.org)

...  That evening, as totals streamed in, it became clear that voters demanded a change. Hadden overwhelmed Joe Moore, a 28-year incumbent, with 64 percent of the vote. She became the first openly queer black woman elected to the City Council, and one of the first black aldermen ever to come from the North Side....

[...]  Months ago, Moore sensed that his re-election bid in the city’s far northeast corner could be tough. He watched from afar as 28-year-old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez toppled another Joe, longtime U.S. Rep. Joseph Crowley, in a diverse, liberal New York City district not unlike the 49th Ward. In the age of President Donald Trump, Democrats seen as compromising or shopworn are sometimes viewed as part of the problem....

[...] By Tuesday afternoon, Hadden thought she had a chance. “But if nothing else, we’ve got new people voting, new people involved in the campaign, and we’re going to keep organizing,” she said. “In some ways, we’ve already won by putting the community’s vision first.”Within a few hours, she had won the election, too....

Teary Wrigleyville Ald. Tom Tunney claims victory in fight versus Ricketts family (chicagotribune.com)

A teary Ald. Tom Tunney claimed victory in his Wrigleyville battle against Cubs owners the Ricketts family [...] Fighting back tears, Tunney told supporters that he has sought to make sure the neighborhood is “successful with Wrigley Field in it.” 

At his side was Mayor Emanuel, who said it’s important to support people who work hard, build schools, and invest in public safety and neighborhoods. “Tom's done that, and the people obviously reflected that,” Emanuel said."I think when you have somebody come in and say they're going to try to bigfoot the voice of the constituents, it's very important to see results like this," Emanuel told the Tribune. Asked if that was referring to the Ricketts family, which funded a group that sent out mailers against Tunney, the mayor brushed the question aside....

I should think the mayor would “brush the question aside”, yes.

Ald. Tom Tunney Holds On To His Seat In 44th Ward (blockclubchicago.org)

Incumbent Ald. Tom Tunney is poised to hold on to his seat in the 44th Ward.

With 95 percent of precincts reporting Tuesday night, Tunney had 63 percent of the vote, according to the Chicago Board of Elections. Challenger Austin Baidas was at 26 percent and Elizabeth Shydlowski was at 11 percent.

Tunney addressed supporters at a campaign party at El Jardin  in Lakeview with outgoing Mayor Rahm Emanuel by his side.

“I’m grateful to the neighborhood for their support and will continue to work with the Cubs to make sure Lakeview remains one of the best neighborhoods in the city,” Tunney said. “I always have and always will believe in being a collaborative leader for the city.”

In the lead up to the election, the Ricketts family, owners of the Chicago Cubs, were linked both openly and behind the scenes to efforts to unseat Tunney... [...]  Tunney, owner of Ann Sather restaurants, became the first openly gay alderman when he was first elected in 2003.

Apparently the Ricketts believe that the proper position for an Alderman in a ward in which they have major interests is supine, preferably beneath their feet. (Full disclosure: I know and like Tom Tunney, and it’s not as if the Ricketts have never gotten anything they want regarding the Cubs, as long as the requests are reasonable and can be balanced with the interests of the people who live there and whom Tom actually, you know, represents. He’s not particularly obstructionist. They just don’t get everything they want, they frequently don’t get it the way they want, and they don’t get it anything like as fast as they want. They get something, the people who live there get some concessions as well. Isn’t that the way this is all supposed to work? But I digress.) 

We may even wind up with a few outright Socialists (well, US style socialists) on the city council (chicago.suntimes.com) after the April runoffs.

And apparently we have a vote buying scandal in the 25th ward? Really? Huh.(It looks like the ward was having all sorts of issues, in fact, since poll watchers had been sent to observe for an entirely separate problem.) It seems to have been at least somewhat successful, since the person buying the votes made it to the runoffs -- to replace an alderman who is leaving office because he was wired for sound in a corruption investigation, and now appears to have gone to ground. Seriously, you’d think that maybe someone would realize that people would actually be paying attention to the ward under these circumstances. (Irrelevant side note: the political conspiracy in the film “Widows” assumes a lot more competence than is sometimes in evidence in this city.)

That said, being indicted for federal crimes is apparently no bar to a campaign; Alderman Burke was re-elected without even having to go to a runoff. (”He may be a crook, but he’s OUR crook!” kind of sentiment, I guess. And allegedly, he was competent in his corruption. At least, he knew better than to buy votes on the day of the election in the polling place, anyway.)

#chicago #politics #chicago politics #chicago mayoral election #chicago elections

[cee693]

Focus on the Happy

The Flash (TV 2014)

Cee693

Summary: Iris tries to overcome one last obstacle before her big day and finds her grandmother to lean on when it doesn't go as planned.

~Random, unedited 12 a.m. ramblings from me being in my head about Grandma Esther deserving to see her granddaughter well and married without nazi aliens interrupting the festivities.

__________________________________________________________

Iris West was a woman on a mission.

She had spent the last month trying to come up with a classy, feasible seating arrangement for an entire cathedral.

She'd gone through hundreds of Pinterest boards, called three different wedding planners for consultations, and looked up more church interior design tutorials on YouTube than she'd ever thought she'd have to in her life.

But, two weeks to their big day, she still had nothing.

Iris was trying to find a way to get rid of the aisle running down the middle of the church, so that all of their guests would be sitting in one collective area, not split by affiliation to the bride and groom.

Every design Iris had looked up was either impossible for their big space or extremely messy.

"Iris, you've been at this for weeks now," Barry reprimanded when he'd found her sleeping on the kitchen counter one morning with a floor plan spread out in front of her.

"I don't think it's gonna work out the way you want it to. What's the problem with the way the church is right now anyway? I think it's beautiful the way it looks," Barry told her.

"It is beautiful, but it's not perfect," Iris said.

She hadn't told him why exactly she didn't want a traditional aisle for the wedding.

She hadn't told anyone.

She didn't want to make Barry feel a certain type of way.

Iris finally came clean to her father when he'd walked in on her sniffling over her wedding binder two days before the big day.

"I've been to enough weddings where people have tried to kill the whole 'pick a side' tradition to know that guests are gonna do it anyway," Iris confessed. "I just don't want Barry to feel bad when he looks at his side and sees he doesn't have a single family member there."

"Baby, Barry has an entire army of friends coming literally from all across the multiverse. He'll have his people there for him," Joe assured her.

"I know he has friends coming for him, but it's not the same, dad. He deserved to have some of his family there too," Iris cried. "Henry should be there. Nora should be there. He should have family who've known him all his life and who get to see the amazing man he became."

Joe couldn't argue with that. Barry did deserve that. Everyone did.

"Oh, baby," Joe comforted. "It'll be alright, I promise. You don't have to redesign an entire church for him. Saturday is going to be the happiest day of Barry's life. No matter who's there. I promise."

Iris didn't look entirely convinced to drop her quest so Joe said the one thing he knew would pull her right out of her funk.

"Grandma's plane should be landing soon."

_______________________________________________

Besides Barry, Grandma Esther was the best part of Iris' childhood.

Iris vividly remembered the long summers she spent running around the countryside, picking wildflowers from her grandmother's garden, eating her fill of the most comforting comfort food on earth.

She remembered the hours she used to spend with her cousins out on the lake behind the house. Iris remembered exploring the woods alone and then she remembered when Barry joined right alongside her.

Grandma Esther had been the first member of the extended West family to welcome Barry into the family.

His first Christmas with them, she'd sent Barry a care package so heavy, he literally couldn’t wrap his arms around it.

She always made sure there was a place for him at every family function and she was quick to talk to her son whenever she saw him being a little too hard on Barry when he started his tales about what really happened to his mother.

It was no secret grandma Esther had a serious soft spot for Barry. Not that she'd be too quick to admit it, mind you.

"Look at you, Bartholomew," she smiled, reaching up to pat Barry's cheek after he gave her a hug at her terminal. "You get taller every time I see you."

In all his time with them, Grandma Esther never called Barry by his nickname.

She always said that, for her, the name Barry conjured up an image of a soulful jazz singer and not a tiny, green-eyed boy who tripped over himself rambling off science facts and who always tried to finesse Mac and cheese for breakfast.

"His momma named him Bartholomew, so I'm gonna call him Bartholomew," she'd said more times than Iris could count.

Barry never seemed to mind, though. She never said it in a reprimanding type of way. With her it was just his name.

He was always at ease when Esther was around. There was something just innately calming and comforting about her.

"How was your flight?" Barry inquired as he grabbed her bags and led her to Iris' car.

She didn't know about his... abilities. They all thought it would be easier on her if she didn't.

"It was alright," she said. "Would've been a lot better if they'd offered me a glass of wine."

Barry laughed.

He'd definitely missed her.

The two spent the short cat ride to the apartment catching up and going over the pre-wedding schedule for the next few days.

A few of Iris' cousins who'd driven down earlier were already at the apartment with Iris waiting for their grandmother to join them for dinner.

When Grandma Esther entered the loft, she was greeted by the usual big swell of affection and greetings, the most coming from Iris who hadn't seen her grandmother in ages.

When Iris excitedly hurried away to put the final touches on the dining room table, Grandma Esther pulled Barry aside. "I wanted to give you something before all the madness of the wedding picked up," she said lowly.

She carefully unwrapped the small package in her hand and revealed a beautiful, teal silk fabric.

"This was Iris' grandfather's favorite pocket square," Grandma Esther revealed wistfully. She ran a gentle hand over it before handing it to him carefully.

"There's no rule that the groom can't get something old or something blue," Grandma Esther said matter-of-factly.

"Thank you!" Barry smiled, touched by the gesture. "This means a lot, really."

Barry had never met Iris' grandfather, but if he searched his memory hard enough to before they'd become friends, he could remember catching glimpses of a jovial, gray-haired man who used to shoot the breeze with the custodians and crossing guards while he waited for Iris in the school yard.

Between all the fond stories from Joe and Grandma Esther herself, Barry knew how loved the West family patriarch had been.

And he knew what it meant for Esther to give away one of her late husband's keepsakes.

"You're very welcome," Grandma Esther patted his cheek affectionately.

"Now where's dinner?" she asked all of a sudden, switching right back to the no nonsense tone she was so known for.

She pulled Barry towards the kitchen. "Iris told me you cooked one of my recipes for tonight yourself."

"It'd be very uncouth of you to give me food poisoning right before my grandbaby's wedding, Bartholomew," she warned over her shoulder.

Barry blushed deeply when a few of Iris' cousins started to laugh and he quickly hustled after her.

_______________________________________________

Their wedding arrived on the heels of days filled with laughter and joy.

Iris' family was huge. And they were as close-knit as they come.

Barry fell into his usual pace of just trying to keep up with all of them and Iris tried to soak up every moment she could with aunts, uncles, cousins and her beloved grandmother.

Iris didn't bring up the seating arrangements again.

She knew it just couldn't be done.

She was so happy to be surrounded by her family, but there was a tiny part of her that kept getting beaten down every time she remembered Barry couldn’t have the same.

She was thinking about that as she put the final touches on her dress while she waited for the cue the ceremony was going to start.

"In all my years, I have never seen a more beautiful bride."

Iris got a little misty-eyed when she turned and saw her grandmother standing by the door, a hand over her heart.

She felt her heart swell with affection. It always did when her grandma was around.

Iris knew she owed so much of this moment to her.

If there was any ounce of courage or an indomitable will in Iris, it all came from the woman standing before her.

"I doubt I come close to you," Iris returned.

Grandma Esther guffawed and waved Iris off.

"Your daddy told me what's been bothering you," Grandma Esther revealed quietly.

Iris sighed. Of course her grandma knew exactly what she was thinking about.

"I know it may seem silly in the scheme of things, but it's something that meant a lot to me," she shrugged. "I just wanted everything to be perfect for him."

Grandma Esther chuckled, breathless. "I hope you didn't forget that the first time I met Bartholomew was at your third grade Christmas show for all the families. And that he was on stage, wearing a glitter tutu, the two of you prancing across stage as if you didn't have a care in the world," Grandma Esther reminded her.

Iris gasped and laughed. "Ohh. I haven't thought about that show in years," Iris told her.

Grandma Esther laughed too, shaking her head at the memory. "And when I pulled you aside after and asked why the teachers made that poor boy dress up in a tutu knowing how cruel kids could be, you remember what you told me?"

"Hannah D'Agostino had broken out in chicken pox literally ten minutes before we were supposed to go on," Iris recounted dreamily. "And without her as my partner I would've had to sing with the choir in the back so that I wasn't dancing alone."

"And you'd cried until Bartholomew stepped up and convinced the teachers to let him dance with you cause you'd worked so hard to get all the steps perfect," Grandma Esther finished.

"Barry had let me do the dance for him so many times at recess, he'd memorized it too," Iris grinned. “They said he didn’t have to wear a tutu, but he put one on over his suit because he wanted us to match."

"And you know no one ever laughed at him for it. I mean Barry was teased in school, of course, but not for that," Iris told her. "He was never teased for that."

"Because he was happy doing it," Grandma Esther said firmly. "Anyone and everyone could see Bartholomew was happy because he'd made you happy. He's always happiest when he's making you happy. So focus on the happy, baby. Not the pain of the past. It'll steal your joy every time."

Iris nodded tearfully.

She knew everything her grandma said about Barry was true.

Iris lived it every day.

And in her mind, she caught a glimpse of Henry and Nora in the audience that day, their eyebrows furrowed in pure confusion and surprise, their mouths holding such wide grins.

They’d cheered and whistled the loudest when Barry and Iris took their bows.

Iris dove into her grandmother's arms, praying that she could somehow feel all of the love and gratitude Iris couldn't put into words.

Esther kissed her cheek before pulling back and looking at her, Iris swore she could.

"Now on to more important matters," Grandma Esther wiped Iris' eyes and settled into a nearby chair. "About that honeymoon..."

And Iris West spent her last few minutes as a single woman sputtering indignantly and trying to cool her burning hot face as her 83 year old grandmother told her things that would make Cosmo magazine wither with blush.

And later, during the ceremony when Iris found the will to pull her eyes away from Barry's long enough to take in the sight around her, she saw her grandmother sitting front and center on the right side of the church.

Her back was straightened with pride and her eyes shined with joy and love.

And Iris felt herself blown away, for the thousandth time in her life, by her grandmother's heart.

"Thank you so much, grandma," Iris said as she hugged her tightly during the reception. "You didn't have to do that."

Grandma Esther waved off Iris' gratitude.

"I mean it," Iris insisted. "And even though he wasn't dwelling on that today, it meant the world to Barry that you sat for him."

During her dress change, Linda told Iris Barry had interrupted his walk to the alter and hugged Grandma Esther tight when he saw her sitting there.

"Sweet pea, Bartholomew is as much our family as you and Wally are," Esther said sincerely. "He's been right there with you and your daddy for every family reunion, every barbecue, every christening, every graduation, every wedding in the last 18 years. Hell, I've gotten more just-because-I-felt-like-it calls and emails from him over the years than most of your cousins. And some of your aunts and uncles if I'm being honest. When he was in high school, he used to come up every fall at first frost and chop firewood for me. You remember that? Used to pile it so high, I couldn't reach the top without a stepper. He's done that most winters since. He treats you better than I could’ve ever asked of him. And he's never once complained about my chicken," Grandma Esther finished, peering at Iris knowingly.

"So you don't have to thank me for anything. I was just doing what family does best. Making a happy moment even happier," Grandma Esther winked.

She patted Iris' arm and stood. "Now you'll have to excuse me, I want to share a dance with your husband. You know Grandma didn't get this dolled-up and put on this extra special dress just to hide off in the corner all night."

She gave Iris a slow twirl, showing of her shimmering blue dress before she shuffled off in search of a dance partner.

"Ayesha just told me your grandma spiked the lemonade earlier," Barry informed her when Iris made her way back to their table.

"There's a champagne fountain not even a two feet away!" Iris exclaimed in disbelief.

Barry laughed and shrugged, at a loss as well.

Iris shook her head and chuckled under her breath. "Never a dull moment with her."

They both looked out on the dance floor and took a mental picture of the sheer perfection of the moment.

"I still can't believe we're married," Barry admitted, somewhat dazed.

"Is it everything you dreamed of?" Iris teased, nudging his hip with hers.

Barry grinned bashfully.

During the last few months, as they brainstormed and discussed venues and cakes and such, it became very obvious to Iris that Barry had been low-key planning their wedding for years.

Not that he even denied it when she finally asked him.

Barry looked around at all the people in the big hall. And he thought about the bonds he shared with all of them- some old, some new. Some small, some made of stone.

"I never thought I'd have so much of my family here me today," Barry revealed honestly. Iris sighed in relief and swallowed the lump in her throat. She kissed the back of his hand "And you know it's all because of you."

Iris furrowed her brow. "I didn't do anything," she reminded him.

"It all started because of you," Barry told her sincerly. "After my mom died, there wouldn't have been a single moment in my life that could've led me to this moment if it hadn't been for you."

Iris started to disagree, so Barry pulled her close, kissing her so sweetly and softly, she forgot what they'd been talking about.

Grandma Esther eventually did steal Barry on the dance floor, after she'd danced to her content with Cisco and Captain Singh of all people.

Barry towered a full foot over her and she kept cuffing him softly on the chest when his two left feet kept cutting in, but they were both smiling wide and they looked to be deep in conversation, like two old friends.

And watching them side by side, Iris realized for the first time that day that Grandma Esther's blue dress matched Barry's blue pocket square perfectly.

Notes:

Pretty sure it's cannon Grandma Esther is Iris' *great*grandmother, but in my head she's still alive and sprightly so she's her grandma here.

Thanks for reading!

#The Flash fic #westallen fic #Westallen #Westallen Wedding #iris west #Barry allen #Grandma Esther #MyFics

[mdwatchestv]

Game of Thrones 7x06: Run Joe, Run

Woo boy that was A LOT. Like a lot, a lot. In so many different ways. I would even go so far as to describe some elements as 'extra'. Yes there was excitement, action, and feels. I even admit to screaming bloody murder when the zombie bear came from a direction I didn't expect. But when all was said and done I couldn't help but feel a bit...used. This season, although boasting some great moments, has felt undeniably different than previous years. Instead of focussing on building out a world and the characters that inhabit it, the show is now rocketing towards a foregone conclusion. If the world of Game of Thrones is a chess board and we have spent the past several years watching knights and queens slowly slide around the squares jockeying for position, this season is the equivalent of knocking it all to the ground and letting the pieces literally fall where they may. Alternatively, if the world of Game of Thrones was a high-end Barbie collector's basement, this is the season his eight-year-old niece broke in, ripped 1993 Holiday Barbie out of her box and made her make out with 1960 1st edition Ken. And neither of those things are inherently bad, playing with dolls and knocking a boring game on the floor are both entertaining in and of themselves, but they are also a departure from what we have come to expect.

Before this season I never thought about things like "Wait- how many long miles IS Westeros? What is the land speed of a laden Raven? What's the MPH on a dragon? How long by air? How long by sea?" I wasn't worried about the logistics, the tech specs. We had other things to worry about, like battle strategies, familial strain, and tyrannical kings. But now it feels as if the curtain is starting to be pulled aside and we are for the first time seeing the mechanics at work behind the scenes. While there were thrills to be had in this super-sized penultimate outing of season seven, they came at a price. In the after-episode special Benioff and Weiss openly admitted to essentially reverse-engineering the entire episode in order to get the final shock of zombie dragon, rather than letting it be the consequence of an organic series of events. One of the reasons Game of Thrones works so well is that consequences, even the upsetting ones, feel earned. The Red Wedding, for example, tragic as it was, was ultimately palatable because it made sense in the larger story. It was the tangible result of a series of connectable actions, not a gambit for ratings. Often the killing of beloved characters leads fan to become disillusioned with a show because it's done in the service of shock value, rather than organic storytelling. But as major characters drop on Game of Thrones, it only acts to draw the audience in further because it’s done in a way that rewards previous storytelling. The idea that characters are existing in a real world with real stakes and consequences is compelling and rare. Up until this season Game of Thrones never had characters rendered immortal by their series regular contracts, or even clear-cut heroes and villains. Yes, we root for different characters and houses, but at this point no one has a clean moral conscious. Those qualities are exactly what made Game of Thrones so good, and what it is seemingly starting to lose.  It's worth pointing out that up until recently the show has had source material to rely on for guidance, and is now having to pick it's own path to the end. Viewer’s theories about the show’s endgame have become increasingly out there, perhaps in response to a world where outcome is not necessarily determined by prior events. For better or worse, anything is possible. 

This episode was some moments of interest strung together with moments of "what?!?!?". Let's begin. ZARTF (Zombie Acquisition and Retrieval Task Force), as well as a few randos clearly marked for death, sally forth into the north. This whole episode gave me greatest hits of Lord of the Rings vibes, including "walking in a straight line across a mountain", "being rescued by a giant winged beast at the last second", and "rolling up half dead on a horse". I really gotta carve out 10 hours to rewatch those. To pass the time tromping through the snow our seven "heroes" try and work through their daddy issues (a little late imo), and Jon makes a half-assed attempt to give Longclaw back to Jorah (conveniently failing to mention it's like the only thing that kills White Walkers). The first sign of trouble comes when the group is set upon by a zombie bear! You hate to see that. Some of the red shirts are killed, Top Knot McGillicutty is wounded, and Jorah saves the day with his dragon glass dagger. Which I guess they all have? Or just Jorah? Unclear. This scene is what we like to call in the biz a foreshadowing.

Meanwhile in Dragonstone Dany is mooning over Jon Snow, even though he is a short stack (he IS super little) and ignores Tyrion who is attempting to invent democracy. In their exchange it's reiterated that Dany can never have babies (beyond her dragon babies), making a potential hold on the Iron Throne tenuous at best (Jon is still the *true* heir, but doesn't seem like Bran is going to tell anyone that anytime soon). Dany would rather not talk about any of that though, and would rather crush/not crush on the King of the Short. Speaking of women on the edge, the Sisters Stark are also failing to see eye to eye. After discovering Arya's BAG OF FACES (I have so many questions about the logistics of face wearing, but I am simply too tired to get into it), Sansa is understandably concerned. These concerns are heightened when creepy-ass Arya pops in to play a decidedly threatening game of questions. Arya seems to think Sansa is out to usurp Jon because she is a Cersei-in-training. Sansa thinks Arya is a terrifying demon child. This is a relationship that has also become frustrating centering around a conflict that doesn't ring true. While it's true that Arya and Sansa have become very different young women, there is more that unites than divides them at this point and Arya's extreme aggression towards her sister feels unwarranted. The core characteristic of the Stark family is that they ARE the Stark family. Arya put aside her dreams of Cersei killing in order to reclaim her heritage, and with the pack dwindling the remaining wolves have to stick together now more than ever. Both of these women have been through extreme trauma, both of them have had to make unthinkable choices in order to survive, and both of them have been continually underestimated by their male cohorts. I'm not saying this is a relationship that should not be without conflict, but their animosity lacks nuance. Granted this show doesn't have a lot of experience with complicated female relationships, but Sansa and Arya attempting to reconnect as complex young women in a time of crisis feels like a real missed opportunity.

And I have seen the Twitter theories that say that the two girls are gaming Littlefinger together, that Sansa sending Brienne away (to an I think prematurely scheduled zombie viewing) right after Littlefinger advised her to use Brienne against Arya is concrete proof. As much as I hope this is all true, it just doesn't seem likely at this point. But maybe Sansa's bizarrely abrupt send off of her last loyal subject really was a clue to a larger plot, or maybe it's just an excuse to put Brienne back in Jaime's path to give him a last second shot of moral obligation. I would love nothing more for my pessimistic theories surrounding two of my long time favs to be proven wrong. These two characters, no matter their ultimate fate, deserve the chance at a final team up.

Back up north, our band of brothers conveniently stumble upon a manageable squadron of zombies led by a White Walker. After dispatching the Walker all the zombies but *one* turn into dust. The plan is going smoothly! However the last zombie calls the rest of the hoard and they are well and truly fucked. The group sends good old Gendry to run back to the Wall (an unknown distance) to raven Dany for help, while the rest of the pack becomes stranded on a rock in the middle of an ice lake surrounded by the entire undead army. Here's where I have questions. Question 1: If Ole One Eye and Top Knot McGee can make fire whenever they want, why cant they have a fire on the island? Or at least gather around one of the swords? Question 2: Can the zombies not use bows? It seems like our group would be pretty easy to take down with a couple dozen arrows. Question 3: How long are they waiting/expecting to wait? How long does it take for the raven to get to Dany? More questions to come later. Anyway Top Knot succumbs to his wounds, meaning that One Eye is now on his final life. The Hound, who was pretty useless most of this episode, continues to be useless by alerting the zombie hoard that the ice is safe to walk on. Our party engages in a seemingly hopeless battle against an untold number of assailants, hoping against hope for a dragony miracle to happen.

And it does! Dany swoops in with her brood in the last second, blasting the zombies with fire, and rocking a seriously fabulous white fur coat, to save the day! Not only is her winter wardrobe literally to die for, it also looks like she may have skinned Ghost to make it, symbolizing her new allegiance (romance?) with Jon. I also have to ask at this point why this wasn't the original plan. Dany made pretty good time getting up there, didn't have to tromp through the snow, and likely could have had Drogon pick up a zombie in his talons-  all in seemingly less than a day! But I guess that would have been much less macho than grimly marching through the snow. It looks like the tables have turned in favor of our hereos when suddenly....the Night King picks up an ice spear and takes out Viserion! Nooooo.

This was a genuinely heart-wrenching moment, as an audience we have watched Dany's dragons grow from hatchlings to giant death machines, and seeing one of them ripped out of the sky was just as painful as losing any beloved human character. Again this was a moment that delivered an emotional punch, but the journey to that payoff was not as satisfyingly authentic as it could have been. Jon, realizing the White Walkers are somehow ready for dragon combat, sacrifices himself so Drogon can take off with his payload safely. But it's an empty sacrifice, because Jon is last minute rescued by BENJEN STARK, who is part ice monster, part North of the Wall lifeguard, all Stark all the time. If you recall Benjen, or Cold Hands I guess is his nickname, previously came in for the save with his swinging lantern when he rescued Meera and Bran. But Benjen's last minute saving days are over as he is eaten by zombies in order to allow Jon to escape. Sad.

Back at the wall Dany ignores Daddy Jorah in favor of wistfully staring out over the tundra, hoping for Jon to appear. And appear he does! Jon is more than fine, especially shirtless and wrapped in furs on Dany's pleasure yacht. The two have some weird flirting where Dany reveals she can never have children, and Jon actually refers to her as 'Dany'. Good thing they are both so hot, because that banter wouldn't cut it anywhere else. Also she's his aunt. I simply cannot stress that enough.

As a final coda to this decades long episode, we see the Night Army dragging the corpse of Viserion out of the lake only to reanimate him into an ice zombie dragon! Gah! Shit is most definitely getting real, as the Night King adds some real power to his arsenal. Will zombie dragon still breathe fire? Ice? Freezing rain? Excited to find out. Next week (the season finale???) looks like it will be the zombie summit down in King's Landing. I have zero predictions for this. My only hope is that Euron will be there, I miss him. In a world of uncertainty, Euron brings the party.

Stuff I didn't get to:

Stop shipping Dany/Jon, START shipping Brienne/Beardy

They almost took Beardy from me after I SPECIFICALLY asked them not too.

Beardy learned the word dick <3

Beardy rode a dragon!!!

MVP: Beardy. I don't have to defend myself.

XO MD

#game of thrones #Martha writes #hbo game of thrones #game of thrones gif #game of thrones gifs #game of thrones spoilers #tv recaps #tv reviews #tv gifs #tv spoilers #tv writing #game of thrones review #jon snow #kit harrington #daenerys targaryen #emilia clarke #ginger beard #jorah #sansa stark #arya stark #dragons #maisie williams #sophie turner #zombies #joe dempsie #gendry baratheon #kristofer hivju #brienne of tarth #littlefinger #aidan gillen

[flauntpage]

How Dr. J and Larry Bird Helped Build a Video Game Empire

Growing up, Trip Hawkins was a big fan of strategy board games; he's been a paying Strat-O-Matic customer for more than 50 years. While a student at Harvard University in the mid 1970s, he created AccuStat Football, blowing $5,000 of his father's money on a few hundred copies of a board game that found hardcore fans but not a larger audience. He loved his simulated pigskin creation, but for his friends it lacked a certain visual pizzazz.

"It was basically a computer game without a computer, and my friends didn't find it all that fun. They gravitated toward watching TV," says Hawkins. "I enjoyed the idea of a sports game that involved thinking, making choices, and living with the outcomes. When I first heard about computers, I thought, Someday, if I can combine the simulated gameplay with the pretty pictures of television, everyone will want to play it."

His first business venture may have been a flop, but he already had a plan to turn his beloved geeky football game into something bigger. Hawkins designed his own major with a focus on game design, and after the first retail store to rent microprocessors opened in Massachusetts in 1975, he began conceptualizing what his video-game company might look like.

After graduating from Harvard in 1976 and getting an MBA at Stanford, Hawkins spent a few years working for a small startup called Apple, eventually rising to Director of Strategy and Marketing before leaving to start his own company. Electronic Arts was officially founded and incorporated on May 28, 1982, with one major goal in mind: Hawkins, a sports nerd going back to his childhood, wanted to change the way sports games were played.

"It was hard to see the football game I poured myself into fail, but I realized two things. I loved being an entrepreneur, and I had a lot to learn about running a business," he says. "I'm not an engineer, but I was working with some of the best software developers in the world, who weren't seen as artists. The angle I decided to take was to embrace them as the creative divas that they were and treat video games as the new Hollywood."

As the company celebrates its 35th anniversary this week, it's worth noting one early title that proved to be especially pivotal in EA's transformation into the $4.4 billion juggernaut it is today, and did, in fact, fulfill Hawkins' dream.

The 1983 release of One-on-One: Dr. J. vs. Larry Bird brought professional athletes into the video-game realm for the first time. It was a big leap forward for the company, and for the industry. There had been games like MLB Baseball for Intellivision that slapped the logo on a box, but there had never been a video game that allowed people to play as the athletes they watched.

"Dr. J. vs. Larry Bird was a major breakthrough for us, and it held up really well over time," says Hawkins. "The all-time best games have mechanics players don't get tired of. One-on-One has that design elegance, and it stayed alive even past Dr. J's retirement when we brought Michael Jordan on board."

Over its lifespan, the game was a huge financial boon for EA Sports, but the biggest payoff was in how it shaped the company. Hawkins says One-on-One gave him the confidence to further develop team sports games, letting players live out their athletic dreams from the couch.

EA Sports now boasts best-selling Madden, NHL and FIFA franchises, but One-on-One was first.

"It's a fantasy streetball version of basketball, instantly appealing because as a fan, you know who Larry Bird and Julius Erving are," says Jeremy Saucier, assistant director for the International Center for the History of Electronic Games in Rochester, New York. "I grew up in Massachusetts, and in the early 1980s, it seemed like the Celtics and 76ers met in the Eastern Conference Finals every year. EA took the cultural currency of the rivalry to create a best-selling game the likes of which hadn't been seen before."

One-on-One was more than just a bridge from the rudimentary video games of yore to today's technical marvels. It was a unique gaming experience that's remembered fondly by kids of the short-shorts era. In a warm tribute to the game at the website Kill Screen, writer Abe Stein says One-on-One can be seen as "a piece of surrealist art" and "absurdist basketball" in comparison to naturalistic gaming experiences like NBA 2k17.

"I'm sure the game looks ancient now—today's games are almost like real life—but I'm proud I got to be part of an early success," Larry Bird told VICE Sports. "Knowing that Julius and I were the first guys ever involved in something like it is pretty cool."

Julius Erving and Larry Bird's on-the-court rivalry helped sell popularize the video game. Photo Dick Raphael-USA TODAY Sports

Other factors helped lay the groundwork for EA's success. One-on-One came out in the same year that the great video-game crash of 1983 decimated the home console market. Some blamed the catastrophic release of Atari's E.T. the Extraterrestrial, thousands of copies of which were infamously buried in a New Mexico landfill. But E.T. was far from the only phoned-in title, and the glut of consoles and games flooding the market is widely believed to be the main culprit.

The Atari 2600 had been instantly popular since its release in 1977, but the company's glory days were over. EA came on to fill the gaming void.

"I considered the 2600 a toy, played for amusement, destined to be an electronic hula hoop that was dead in a few years," says Hawkins. "It only had 128 bytes of memory—notice I didn't say 'K'—so you couldn't do anything with it. What I was interested in was simulation, so we leapfrogged the 2600 and went to home computers. At the time, they cost around a thousand dollars, but were so much more powerful and allowed EA to do real software development."

Originally released for the Apple II, One-on-One would also become available for ColecoVision, Atari 800, Tandy TRS-80, and, crucially, as a floppy-disc game for the Commodore 64, the most popular computer in history. EA envisioned sports games as a staple from the outset, but Hawkins admits that baseball and football came before hoops in his hierarchy. His early focus was on the gridiron. He knew there wasn't enough processing power at the time to do a full 11-on-11 football game, but he had an idea based on his personal fandom.

"I'm a 49ers fan and EA launched the year of their first Super Bowl win, which followed 'The Catch,' Joe Montana to Dwight Clark. I thought maybe we could animate a quarterback, a receiver, and a couple of defensive players," says Hawkins. "The one thing I was certain of was that the game had to have the actual players in it, real-life heroes in a box. As it turned out, Atari made a deal with Montana to be an endorser of its entire product line, so I had to go a different route."

In considering how best to create a mano-a-mano game, Hawkins recalled a one-on-one basketball tournament sponsored by the hair-care product Vitalis. (Hawkins says he saw short black-and-white clips when he was a kid, but the only reference we found to the competition dates it to 1972, when Hawkins would have been 19. Check out the amazing title match between Bob Lanier and Jo Jo White. To honor the concept, the winner was paid $15,000 in singles!) Hawkins believed that a two-player basketball game could work because it would reflect a version of the sport people played in real life. Once he decided on the concept, he knew he wanted his favorite player in the game: Dr. J.

Julius Erving flew to the company's original headquarters in San Mateo, California, for principal photography and to give Hawkins and his team pointers. That was great, but Hawkins also needed to find the perfect stylistic foil to Erving, a sharp-shooting yin to Dr. J's sky-walking yang. And it would help if they were already NBA rivals.

"I played pinball as a kid, wasn't much for video games, but I remember when my agents explained what the concept was, I thought it was a great idea," Bird says. "I specifically remember the cover, it turned out great, really looked like Dr. J. and I just finished working out on a New York City playground… I can't remember if we shot it in New York. We must have. Sure looks like it."

Actually, both men had attended an event at the Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts. EA photographers went to Massachusetts and grabbed Bird and Erving for a quick shoot afterwards. EA didn't have license to use Sixers or Celtics jerseys in the game, but luckily NBA jerseys wouldn't have fit with the playground motif, anyway.

Instead, EA told both players to wear street clothes for the cover shoot. They also instructed Erving to go shirtless and socks-up, and for both men to give their hardest-ass glare. It wasn't the Rucker, but it didn't really matter. It's not like they would've played an actual game.

"The photo features sprayed-on sweat," Hawkins says. "They both had lucrative professional basketball contracts, so they're not actually going to play one-on-one. If one of them got injured, EA would've had major issues."

Even the way the game shipped out to consumers was unique. Previously, floppy disc games were delivered in standard plastic baggies, no style whatsoever. Hawkins upped the flavor by going with a custom-sized cardboard record-album package. The 8-inch-square gatefold, with a sleeve for the game, was an entirely new presentation.

(For the record, Hawkins' favorite version was for the Commodore Amega, which included ambient sounds he and producer Joe Ybarra recorded live at a Warriors game. The hot dog and beer vendor sound samples were legit.)

The cover for the game was shot in Springfield, Massachusetts. Courtesy Electronic Arts

For all of its early-80s technological innovation, One-on-One would've had all the lasting cultural cachet of Double Dunk had it not been a monster hit. The game starts, like so many amazing basketball careers, with two competitors, one ball, and a playground. It was as cool as Dr. J. from the jump, opening with a Mooged-out version of Scott Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag" with options to play against the computer, and four levels ranging from "Park and Rec" to "Pro." Or, of course, the version that whiled away many a sunny afternoon indoors, the head-to-head showdown, played either timed or to a certain score. Players even got to choose "Winner's Outs" or "Loser's Outs" on the possessions. (Law of the hooping land: half-court games are winner's outs.)

" One-on-One hit at a time that allowed it to be successful, but it wouldn't have had the same impact if it didn't have such great playability," says Saucier, one of the early video-game historians. "It was only six years after the introduction of Pong, the original sports game, but One-on-One seems like decades ahead in graphic advancement. Compared to Atari Basketball, which also featured two players, the game play of One-on-One has sophisticated movement. It's an extraordinary upgrade."

One-on-One didn't miss a trick. It features "Hacking" fouls called by a diminutive ref, traveling, 24-second shot-clock violations, instant replays (believed to be a video game debut), turnaround over-the-head baseline jumpers, 360-degree pirouettes in the lane, fallaways, putbacks, plus the sartorially correct vintage kneepads, accurate non-NBA jersey numbers, and, depending on your vantage point, rec-specs. There were also nifty audio details: dribbles that sound like a metronome, swishes that sound like rustling leaves, and a referee's whistle that sounds like nails on a blacktop.

"I'm an entertainment designer, it's what I do. I knew if we got Erving and Bird you already have built-in dramatic tension," says Hawkins, who currently teaches entrepreneurship and leadership at UC-Santa Barbara, and mentors men in recovery at his local rescue mission. "We kept the layout simple, half-court with a three-point line, so we could use all our animating power on these two spindly guys and their advanced moves. We wanted the shooting to be realistic, the matchup to have organic flow, and to have the attacking and defending be authentic, so you couldn't just run into a player and nothing happens. Physics had to be accurate. We also added the feature of making the jump and the release of the ball, at its apex, two separate motions. It was the game's most beautiful feature. I used it later with the John Madden 'Oomph' button."

As smooth as the gameplay was, there is one glitch that runs contrary to the popular collective memory of One-on-One. As it was being created, a young undisciplined developer was tasked with using accurate shooting percentages for Bird and Erving to highlight their individual skillsets. He failed to do so, which means they both have the same moves. It's true. Dr. J. didn't dunk more than Larry; Bird didn't make more threes than Erving.

Still, the legacy of One-on-One endures. Sure, it's graphically antiquated when stacked up next to the just-released NBA Playgrounds (which, side note, looks awesome as hell), but its hip-hop vibe is as relevant as ever. EA's statement game dropped right as rap records moved beyond the simple party songs that defined the genre's early years. It was released the same year as Kurtis Blow's "Basketball," which named-checked both Erving and Bird, and came hard on the heels of Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five's classic "The Message." One-on-One's packaging shared the gritty graffiti-strewn, baked-asphalt Rucker Park ethos of the song that took hip-hop in an entirely new direction, capturing the hard realities of urban living. The lettering looks just like the chalk scribblings on Gotham's streetball meccas. You could totally see The Get Down crew playing it at Shaolin Fantastic's crib.

Electronic Arts cleaned up. In 1983, One-on-One sold for $40 and reached No. 2 on the Softalk magazine bestseller list. (Over the long tail, it kept selling at annual sales cycle reductions to $30, $20, $10.) Hawkins estimates the original version sold more than a million units, with sales numbers of several million over its lifespan. It paid off for the Atlantic Division foes, as well. Both Erving and Bird signed deals for $25,000, and a 2.5 percent royalty rate, according to Hawkins. Dr. J. also got a bit of company stock, a perk not offered to his Indiana counterpart.

In return, the Larry Bird and Dr. J helped turn EA into a powerhouse.

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