#are far away from me atm

[razzmic]

started having to wear a wig around the house bc my trich is way out of control all of a sudden & nothing else is helping but at least its super cute 👍🏾

#posts #its curly and black w purple in it :+) bought it two yrs ago for my sisters wedding but ending up not wearing it & forgot abt it until now #ive never worn a wig before* i always either have my hair out or in crochet braids but the ppl who normally do my hair (mom and sister) #are far away from me atm #*outside of cosplays

[defective-4068]

This could be a controversial take but I really kinda don't care about what the actors do outside of the show? They are great actors but I don't want to know about their personal life at all really. I just want to obsess over the characters without thinking about whatever shitty thing so and so actor did this week (or 10 years ago lol)

#Like i can separate the actor from the character #But I don't like that people dig shit up to justify their hatred of said character or actor #911 abc #911 on abc #911 #911 on fox #tommy kinard #evan buckley #bucktommy #Not tagging this as bddie because they're giving me the ick atm tbh #I also don't really want to see twitter drama on my tumblr #Keep that shit as far away from me as possible

[cyborgcatboys]

-- TAKING A BREAK --

hewwo, im gonna be taking a break from tumblr for the next while.

ive come to realize that im on tumblr wayyyy too much bc of my (newly found) ocd so im leaving for a while to try and deal with it (+ other stuff in the op tags)

i'll be back once im satisfied w/ my progress, but there is a chance i won't be back for months, so if u want to stay in contact send me a DM w ur discord or smthn, i'll check them a couple of times in the next couple days, but after that no tumblr at all.

so yeah, byebyes & i'll see u people later hopefully <3

#cybernetic meows #im putting more reasons why under the cut in the tags #xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx #okay so ive found that i probably have ocd and the whole chronological dash is actually quite bad for me bc ive gotten obsessive over #seeing every single post from all the blogs im following and thats just not really worth it in terms of time and #plus im quite lonely atm so seeing people on the dash being friends and having fun together is honestly making me feel sick and #a bit dysphoric #which just sucks but its not really anyones fault (but mine ig) #this break is mainly just so i can sort out life #finish exams get a job #get some mf therapy cuz yeah i def need it #try and connect w my local queer community hopefully #maybe try and move out but thats probly years away yet #anyway if u read this far thanks i appreciate it alot <3

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

more alt L? more likely than you think

kinda liked my base colors

#death note #death note fanart #l lawliet #my art #i am obsessed #i have 1% battery on my tablet it wants me to stop drawing #but anyway #i love him and i love mullets and i want any excuse to draw a mullet #though something about him keeps bugging me. i feel like i’m straying too far away from canon maybe #i need to fuse this version with canon to get a better vibe from him methinks #or maybe try drawing him in a different style. i think this one is throwing me off a bit atm #i’ve been saving my cartoonish line-art oriented style for the washing machines #maybe they’re calling for me #like a siren #i will drown in one

[driftpng]

「 COULD FIX ME 」

#thinking abt how badly i need hrt rn even though it feels so far away atm #i'd love to have my voice completely changed n unrecognizable from how it is now and i will be happy #and once i achieve that. nobody will ever try to take that happiness from me or pressure or make me feel like #i have to keep myself miserable for their own sake n happiness forever #art #2024 #humanoid #oc #briar.oc #vent #eyestrain #syringe #needles

[dan-crimes]

I love it when I'm not actually as invested in something as others are yet I'll still spend. 10+ hours just watching content about it cuz I still have to know about it like I might not have brain rot or anything but I gotta have that info in my brain

#I mean in general it takes a lot to really catch my attention #like I like lots and lots of media #constantly looking around for new stuff to invest my time in #and when I find smth I will go over it a lot if it's cool enough #but like to ACTUALLY hook me with literal brain worms it has to be SOO specific #in a way idk how to even really explain #like the list of things that'll hook me almost INSTANTLY if I start looking @ them again is like #WoY. NoN. i.i. and uhhh Dano :] if u read this far that mod is in my pinned ^^ #I really like the mod a LOT and got them brain rotting worms in my head for em #atm I'm trying to branch out and keep up with new media. catch up or rewatch old media etc etc #so it's distracting me from any specific brain rot atm cuz I'm so all over the place but yeah! #Indigo Park is cool :] I do really like Rambley a lot but I'll have to see more if him and more of the game in the future #before it really makes anything in my brain I think #OH Secret Squirrel is a new one that's really got me but I'm staying away from that FREAK bcuz I'm not normal abt him #plus there's only like 13 episodes but tbf I'VE WORKED WITH LESS #I'm like the master of getting invested in the most obscure shit possible man

[skeletalheartattack]

WATCH MS. PAC-MAN DANCE

WATCH MS. PAC-MAN DANCE

#this is from the instruction manual for Namco Museum vol. 3 #got it today with a bunch of 360 games while i was yard sale shopping today #im honestly surprised to have found a house that was selling games. usually i figure folks would just sell them online for good money #but no each game ranged from 3-6 dollars #so i got: Dead Island 1. Mirrors Edge. Borderlands 1. and Namco Museum. #i also got Banjo Nuts & Bolts elsewhere. i had it a long time ago but i think i gave it away/sold it #so now i can see how far i got into the game now that i have another copy #that yard sale w/ the 4 games i got. they also had borderlands 2. some COD games. halo 3. and kinect adventures #they did have some PS2 games. only two worth mentioning is an eyetoy game. and Kingdom Hearts 2 #i'm always on the lookout for PS2 games but. i didnt grab KH2. theres a lot of pretty dudes in that game (from org 13) but im not a KH-head #though theres always a part of me that regrets not buying literally everything #but given that those 4 games costed me 15 dollars..... listen thats a good deal but i didnt have a lot of money on me #or not a lot i could risk spending all in one place #anyway. im playing dead island atm :) i picked sam b

[stories-by-rie]

while i made that post for the ten first lines tag game, i realised that i have written 2 flash fiction pieces the whole year. some short stories are already over a year old, it feels like yesterday that i wrote them. and i haven't worked much on my writing behind the scenes either. it simply has been a year without the hobby that is so prescious to me.

and while i know that sometimes breaks are long, can be much longer than a year, it still does not change the fact that a part of me is grieving for all the words i didn't write. i had ideas, i had the want, i just couldn't. 2023 has been one of the worst years for me and it is no surprise that this is mirrored in the lack of creative energy.

so i am trying to be gentle with myself. forcing out words has never worked for me and i certainly don't want to put out rubbish (even if it can be fun, but i digress). though i certainly won't just give up. one more piece of writing has to happen before the year is completely over. this is less a plan than a threat. who knows what my fingers will spill. beware of the words.

#rie rambles #writeblr #vaguely #do i have a fresh idea for that piece of writing? no. #i will open myself up to inspiration #the fact that i wrote for flash fiction friday at LEAST bi weekly is so far away to me atm like wtf where did that come from

[non-un-topo]

Went to a support group specifically for FTMs last night and had a good time. Surprised myself by tearing up. That's not a very cis sign, is it

#denial is an oppressive power #i know what i am lol. and still. #i've got a lot of internalized transphobia that i wasn't completely aware i had. not brave enough to air it out in the group #for fear of saying something 'bad'. everyone else seems to have it figured out already. most are on T. #i just don't want the group to sort of influence me in one direction. #< a ha. internalized transphobia. also i don't think i need their help in that department. i'm already mentally there. just blocking myself #a research project i'm doing atm is really bringing these feelings to the front. #how am i 26 and living far away from my parents and i'm STILL like 'i can't disappoint my mommy' #i know the answer. family baggage and high expectations etc. snore. #someone in the group kept telling me 'you don't have to go on T just because everyone else is doing it' and like........................... #idk if i found most of their thoughts to be very helpful. they just kind of liked to talk and were clearly struggling with insecurities. #but i had to fight that urge to be defensive. that is not how i feel and that is not what's even happening. #this person had a problem with putting words into people's mouths. don't do that in a support group lol #but other than that they were fine and everyone was super nice. it helped to talk to an older trans guy. #i'll say it again. if i wasn't fucking 5 foot 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

[b-blushes]

got some really sad news today and the sad thing isn't even going to happen for another couple of days. feeling the physically alone emotion, friends

#i'm trying to like. keep up with my normal life not in a way that's acting like it's not happening but in a way that's not tunneling #everything into solely that thing you know. i am blogging about the joys but like. the horrors yk. anyway. #missing being at college hours because i had friends i spent all day with and with whom physical touch was so baked into everyday :P #the people i would hug rn live so far away from me atm so it's just like. the woe is here :P #grief about one thing will spill into grief about all the things i guess! but. genuinely. we stay silly :3

[fingertipsmp3]

The sims 2 is so funny because you can do everything right, you can make your sims study cooking and go to work on time and micromanage everybody so that they don’t die in stupid ways, and then the goddamn nanny burns your house down

#AN NPC CAUSED THE FIRST FIRE IN MY NEW NEIGHBOURHOOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS #so i’m playing the prosperity challenge right. which is basically where you randomise some families and play them in rotations #i’m on the third family atm and it’s a single mom with a teenage son; child daughter and twin toddler boys #she has an ltw to become media magnate but i got her a job as an EMT in the meantime because it didn’t show up in the paper #and hired a nanny to take care of the kids while she and the oldest son were out #nanny was fine at first. she just made sugar cookies and made sure the toddlers didn’t get taken away by social services which i massively #appreciated. but then my sim came home from work and immediately got a promotion #to paramedic; which meant she had to switch over to nights right away. so the nanny came again a few hours later and immediately proceeded #to set my kitchen on fire #thankfully they have a smoke alarm but she sent the two older kids into aspiration failure. SHERYL WHEN I CATCH YOUUUU #bizarrely the person who is absolutely coming in clutch for this family is none of the family members and nor is it the nanny #it’s gerald who is the grandpa of a different family i created in the neighbourhood. he works with the mom (although he’s an intern now) #and she brought him home from work and he has just been here all night #it’s 4:20am and he’s sat playing with one of the toddlers helping him learn words with his bunny 🥹 #gerald we looooove you. platinum aspiration for gerald. GOOD THINGS FOR GERALD #the most annoying people in this challenge so far are sheryl the nanny who burns stuff down and jackson; a kid in one of the other houses #who keeps calling everyone at 2am even if he barely knows them. and also at 10am on school days #jackson’s mom also irritates me because she came to pick her daughter up who was just playing chess on a porch at 8pm; bothering nobody #but doesn’t stop jackson from spamming everyone with calls. where is the logic #personal

[curiosityjams]

my future when it comes to still being Active on social media is teebeedee, but my main resolution for 2024 is like...be comfortable w/ being completely offline even if it's just for a day or a week.

#the good news is that i don't check sm during the am hours anymore (by that i mean like as soon as i wake up i still need to work #on being less online during the after hours aka anything later than 9-10pm ish) #BUT i've learned that being active hasn't made my ppl pleasing tendencies better and that there are many many things i need to like #work on far away from places like tumblr and The Big Four #(that being ig twitter still not calling it x fb and like...reddit #though tbf i haven't been ACTIVE active on twitter + fb for almost 4/5 years now so theres that #i still lurk the former when i'm feeling REAL bored but thats rare these days which is an improvement? #though i also have to work on doing shit that doesnt involve online brainrot 24/7 aka reading and writing and like...watching media that #isnt like...football (soccer 4 the us/canada/aus folks) #but lb ruined my love of film for a LONG long time bc it values getting the most pop review over idk actually loving movies #idk its just me rambling abt my relationship w/ sm and where it stands atm perdon sghdjfhj #the tl;dr is i need to shut up and log off when my body is telling me to stop gsbdhjfghjikejr #be quiet drea

[arcgeminga]

♚— I managed to get a bit of free time on the weekends from training, but since I haven't gotten my official schedule yet, I don't know when I'll be for sure free.

So, I'll get to and queue my replies for the week(s. Hopefully). I'll still be delayed until I find a really good pattern to stick with in regards to life-hobby-work balances, plus everything else I need to do these next 8 months.

Roleplaying is going to be a pretty low priority for me and everything will be thrown in the queue. From my private Multi-muse account to this one, everything will be SLOW. I am trying not to burn myself out too much since I need to save energy for September as well.

Big thank you to those who are waiting patiently for my reply. I know it's been a while, but I'm trying to find a better pattern. It's just going to take a while.

#OutofGeminga #I am. tired. #I live so far away from the workplace that I need to sleep early and wake up at asscrack o'clock. #So if I'm spotty or more absent then usual it's because I'm trying to figure out how to time manage again. #After 5 years of remote work I need to go back into the habit of setting up priorities. #Especially since this job WILL take a bite out of me physically and mentally. #All in all... I'm just here to write at the most. I love typing and this is the only outlet for that. #So. If you want to RP or start a thread with me #You have to let me know ahead of Sunday (atm). #With that said my drafts are enormous so let me get to that #Thank you to those who are patiently waiting for my reply. I'm sorry that it's going to keep being inconsistent from here on out.

[hella1975]

Hope you have good day today :)) it’s always nice to see your posts and read your writing, you have so many interesting things to say

thank you suspiciously nice anon

#KSJDHGKJSDHG ILY <333 sorry this is a ref to that other ask i answered #'you have so many interesting things to say' the fact u believe this is so sweet even if it is a lil delusional ty best friend #i hope i have a good day too even though so far ive gotten my period AGAIN (?!?!) and had a shit day of revision #BUT i have work and i acc like work atm bc it gets me out and away from revision so that should be good #ask

[horrorwebs]

me when my friends tell me to get together after class to merendar!!yay!!!! but when i get there they have actuallyalready eaten and i dont even sit we just walk to the train station and them i have to leave :/

#like dudes......why do you do this to me #the plan was they got together for lunch and i couldnt cause my vlass was at that time but they said i should joing them amd then we would #have tea etc together but when i got there one of them had to go. so we walked her to the train station like 20 blocks away :// #and then my other friend was like ok we should all go 2 my house they can pick you guys up from there. but her house was much further away #from my house than where we were atm. so like. yeah i cant go dude. #so i just called mother and left #and like it was nice to see them #but it somehow always end up like this #'lets do x plan! ok!' then when we are about to do it one of them goes actually we should all go to this other place. which is always super #ibconvenient to me and usually me only bc i live sort of far away from most and my transport mediums are quite restricted #so #yeah #merienda alone :_( #but hey i got to see them at lesst #spikeposting

[veryangryhorse]

Currently revising the Underfell!Sans X Reader thingy.. as the original is very spicy, and I don’t want that on my page until I decide to make either a separate page for it or something-

#idk man #I’m staying far away from Twitter atm #making me realize why I left the UT fandom so long ago #I’m in extreme emotional distress atm #but you know #at least I have #uh #idk something