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ask-the-crimson-king · 3 years

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Music Shill of the Day: "JUDAS" by Lord of the Lost

PART 2 of 2: "SALVATION"

Welcome back to part 2 of me shilling the fuck out of Judas and telling you, the lucky reader, of why it's so great. If you didn't see part 1, here's a link. Beware, it's long as fuck. LINKS TO ALL SONGS WILL BE PROVIDED. All songs will be rated on a scale of 1-10; 1 - garbage. Horrible. Why did you let this leave the studio. 5 - average. Meh. Not horrible, but not impressive. 10 - fantastic. Thank you for this existing. I love this too much. I will make a final post about my overall thoughts separately as well as give the top 5 songs of the album. BUT FOR NOW, we venture ever onwards. STARTING WITH--

13. "The Gospel of Judas" - 9/10

Starting off EXTREMELY strong with a very excellent piece with a brilliant message.

These lads said "happy last day of Pride, please take this video and this song" and I say thank you because. Watch the video. Careful with some people malding over them becoming "political" by adding a pride flag in the comments (but there are plenty of responses shutting them down since LOTL has regularly been supportive of the LGBT+ community and very vocal about that support).

This song is meant for those who are outcasts in society for being who they are, whether it be from gender-based, sexuality-based, race-based, whatever. Great intention and a great message.

The song itself, I find myself liking the choruses more than the verses. I'm not a huge fan of the "Judas, Judas" parts, but it works well enough for the song. Not quite an absolute banger of a song, but still really fucking good.

14. "Viva Vendetta" - 9/10

This song is fascinating for two reasons. The first; it features a full 386 person choir. The second; its instrumental was given to 32 different artists, with no title attached, to see what they'd do with it. That's really fucking cool.

As for the actual piece, it has a very nice, flowy, bouncy beat all throughout. I like it. It's something to vibe to, most certainly. It has almost a bit of an 80s feel to it.

The instrumentals are very neat, with the guitars making a very nice sounding bassy groove. Though there does seem to be acoustics used throughout as well, and the occasional synth. Overall? Dope as fuck song. It's genuinely awesome. It slaps.

But. As much as it slaps. A challenger approaches. A song I had been anticipating for over 3 weeks since I heard the "Track by Track" 30s preview.

15. "Argent" - 11/10

Okay. Okay. I know. Priest? Slaps. Born with a Broken Heart? Beautiful. Death is Just a Kiss Away? Love the strings. But.

But, dear reader. Allow me to enlighten you as to why this is, in my humble opinion, the best song on the album.

Let us start with the wonderful, Arabian-sounding vocals to open it. And then the introduction of the piano, it begins to build. And build. And then the guitars and the drums kick in, along with that industrial sound in the back.

It keeps growing and growing, then it begins to cool for the verse. Everything is still there, just waiting. Slowly, everything keeps growing in intensity. It builds and builds along with the vocals of the first verse.

Then we transition to a pre-chorus for a small calm...

Are you out there? Are you out there? I suffer... Your thirteenth suffers!

And then...

IT GOES OFF!

ARE YOU OUT THERE? I'M CLINGING TO THE DARK! ARE YOU OUT THERE? MY FALLEN COUNTERPART! BETRAYAL BURNS, LIKE THE SILVER IN MY HEART! ARE YOU OUT THERE? THE ERROR OF THE STARS!

The best chorus of the album. Without a doubt. There is so much raw emotion here barely simmering at the surface. As my friend @hoholupercal-adopts said;

"It captures ethereal rage, suppressing emotions, sorrow, bliss, and a love and need for hope."

And he is so spot on with that. It is beautiful. It is intense. It's amazing.

And then we come right back to a verse. And we start again, and after the second chorus we enter a small break of calm.

As the bridge starts up, the vocals from the beginning return, along with Chris' wonderful and soft yet gravelly voice with the slowly building instrumentals behind him...

The error of the stars... The error of the stars... A searing oath on the circles of the heart, Are you out there?

The error of the stars...

A brief pause, and then it smashes itself right back into that insane chorus.

This entire song is so powerful. Its so... so raw. So full of just a mix of emotions that it almost feels overwhelming. I just. I love this song so much.

If there is any song you listen to off "Judas", please make it be this. I cannot stress enough how fantastic this piece of incredible artistry is. It is, apparently, "Globalization in practice" according to Chris Harms himself. It is so beautiful. Please listen to it. Do yourself a favor.

16. "The Heartbeat of the Devil" - 8/10

This song has a great groove to it. I like the choice for using electronic drums. It has a very 80s feel about it. Very nice opening, with very open sounding verses and then a very nice chorus.

The piano also works as a nice accompaniment, as per usual at this point. The song is a fine song indeed, it really is grand. However its missing a few things that keep it from a 9/10 or a 10/10. Not entirely sure how to pinpoint what they are, but they're there.

Overall, a grand song, as most of these songs have been. Also this is a song for the Emperor of Mankind and it's funny cause it's number 16, which is Horus' number. But you wanna know what else else? It isn't the only ironic incident of this happening.

17. "And it Was Night" - 10/10

This song took me a bit. Off its intro with the synths, I wasn't vibing with it too much. With the introduction of the guitar and drums, I started to get into it. For the verse, I was still uncertain. That kinda odd synth was back. But it still sounded fine, I supposed.

However. The chorus is, ironically enough, where it shines the most.

It sounds beautiful. There, everything reconverges after the break in the verse, along with the backing choir, and it is simply...

It sounds ethereal. It sounds dreamlike. It sounds perfect for a song entitled "And it Was Night".

Everything afterward sounds great. The elements used in the intro and the chorus are used a bit more in the following verse, and the chorus just hard carries this song to a 10/10. It is fucking fantastic. It has some raw emotion within it, similar to Argent, but instead on a more... dreamlike, hopeful level. Kind of like childlike hope and wonder.

Also I've had 2 people tell me it's a Lorgar song and I agree wholeheartedly. Plus its #17. So ha.

18. "My Constellation" - 6/10

The vocals are fine, and they remind me of a song I can't really put my finger on. But this song just doesn't really do it for me. It has plenty of nice emotion and power with it, but the instrumentals feel kind of... weird. They fit, somehow, but they feel like they shouldn't.

It's still a very above-average song for the musicality of it alone, and the very pretty lyrics. Plus the vocals of the chorus are also nice. But it's still just missing things. It's not that great, but it's definitely an above-average song. One of the weaker entries on this album, but that's not saying a lot since this album is still fucking amazing as a whole.

19. "The Ashes of Flowers" - 8/10

The synths in the back of the intro with the piano sounded kind of odd at first. This is a song that doesn't have much buildup, it just goes along for about a minute and then BAM, intense instrumentals.

I do appreciate such songs as much as I do those that build. Those that slap you in the face will usually, indeed, slap. And this song does, for the most part. There are some bits that sound a bit janky to me, but it is a good song. Very strong entry on the list. At times it shares in that "these don't feel like they should fit together" vibes as its predecessor, but it only happens twice at most. Very gospel-sounding song, especially with how it sounds around the 3:30 mark, with the choir and Chris singing.

20. "Iskarioth" - 9/10

Now we got that more classic sounding heavy metal on the album. I grew up listening to stuff with this sort of style. But of course, the song has some newer elements added in. I love the riffs, though. They sound great. Love that classic sounding over-overdrive on the guitars. Love how it carries into the second verse. The beat and rhythm have that classic metal feel to them as well.

The chorus is, as most on the album thus far, very powerful and clean. The heavy riffs from the intro and breaks between chorus and verse are absent, leaving room for Chris and the backing choir to shine alongside the beautiful piano.

The break for the bridge that slowly builds to the final chorus is very nicely done, and I like how the guitars were added back in. An extremely strong song. Very well done. Love it.

21. "A War Within" - 9/10

Strings are back. I'm a bitch for strings. I love them when they're used in metal. I love them when combined with an organ and piano. I love them also when combined with great vocals. The opening verse leading to the pre-chorus, the repetition, the build to that powerful chorus, it's wonderful. The piano, as always, twining beautifully with the vocals.

The fucking cello solo with the leitmotif is fucking amazing. Favorite part of the song. It's so beautiful.

Very, very excellent piece of music. This song is a 9 for sure. Not quite a 10 since, while the chorus is nice, it could've used a bit more intensity. The pre-choruses where the rhythm picks up and everything feels more urgent is where the song shines for sure. Without a doubt.

22. "A World where We Belong" - 8/10

An interesting somber song that blends the heavier and intense pieces with this overall feeling of melancholy, yet hope. This song doesn't have an instrumental intro. Instead, Chris just starts right off singing. This song definitely feels like a sort of cheesy church song. But it does have a nice message to be found within the lyrics, and it's a nice and slow song too.

Good pacing. Good vocals. A good song.

23. "Apokatastasis" - 10/10

So. Um.

This song is an instrumental that's basically entirely strings.

The name means "the restoration of equilibrium after the apocalypse", and it serves as a respite for the album. A breath of fresh air, similar to Be Still and Know.

However, where Be Still and Know had the various members of the band show up, this one has them quieting down. It features the leitmotif once more, and it definitely has that feeling of peace and quiet. The album, until now, has been a bit chaotic. There's been a lot of emotion, power, and just... feeling.

This is a beautiful piece. It truly is.

10/10, easily.

Now let's wrap up the album.

24. "Work of Salvation" - 9/10

Soft, gravelly vocals greet the listener after that beautiful respite, paired with a lovely choir and piano as well.

Slowly, we get that buildup again. The organ comes back. The song feels very much like "The Death of All Colours", only this time with instrumentals backing instead of just vocals. A nice callback after this long journey.

This song works as a great ending to the album, a very nice catharsis. It isn't overbearingly powerful, but it isn't too soft either. It matches the mood of its predecessor and of that of the album wonderfully.

I'll talk about that in the post after this, but wonderful song.

It even ends with a beautiful, and almost sad rendition of that leitmotif on piano. As if lamenting that the journey is over. A beautiful end to a wonderfully amazing album.

#rip me cause tumblr ate the original reviews for the first 4 songs #i had it done and was about to start my constellation when it bugged and it was all gone #pissed me off lmao #ah well #music shill of the day #judas #lord of the lost

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hateswifi · 4 years

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Rising from the Ashes: Of Revelations and Mistakes

So this is Part Eight here is to my Master List and Part Seven.

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She got up the next day and went to work for the half-day of work. Diana only opens the boutique from seven to one. Marinette also asked her to stay after the store's closing to work on some design because she needs to borrow the sewing machine. She drew an off the shoulder ribbed sky blue long sleeve shirt, she sewed high waisted ripped black jeans. Diana had stayed back to check out her work and close up after she was done. She loved the outfit it was simple but nice. Luka's solo had inspired her to make the outfit and she couldn't wait to show him.

When she finished cleaning up and showing off her outfit it was three-thirty. She headed to the grocery store to pick up stuff to make Chicken Cordon Bleu Skillet. She needs to buy penne, butter, garlic, heavy cream, ham, parmesan, and chicken. Her mama used to make it for her when she was young and she hasn't had it in forever.

After she was almost done cooking, she heard a knock at the door. She answered it and saw her prince. She smiles while saying. "Hello, Prince, come on in, foods almost finished baking, only five minutes left."

"Hey, Angel," he said, kissing her cheek. "I love your outfit. Is it new?"

"Yes, I made it after work. Would you be able to set the table?" Marinette asked, holding out two plates with forks on top.

"It would be my pleasure," Damian said taking the plates then placed them. "So what inspired you to make the outfit, was it Nightwing?"

"No, it wasn't Nightwing. I watched Luka play yesterday, he won the best guitar solo," Marinette called over her shoulder as she opened the oven, taking out the skillet.

"Luka is the bluenette, a bit older than the rest of your friends, and is in a band, right?" Damian asked, looking for cups in her cabinet.

"Yes. I'm surprised you remember that" she said, putting the skillet on the table. "He played at Uncle Jagged's competition with his band and by himself yesterday. He won the best guitar solo."

"That's great," Damian said, pulling out her seat.

"Thank you, such a gentleman, prince," Marinette said, serving both of them. "Bon Appetit."

"This is delicious. Where'd you learn how to cook?" Damian asks taking another bite.

"This is the meal my mother made me when I was young. I haven't had it in forever and I wanted to give you a taste from something of my childhood," Marinette explained. They chat as they eat. When they're done eating they clean-up which ends up in a water fight after Marinette flicked water onto him as he was drying dishes.

Damian won the water battle or so he thought. He had caught her in between the sink and himself. She leaned up and kissed him, he thought he had the victory in the bag until she broke the kiss with a splash and a giggle.

"I win," She says, bopping his nose. She then walks into the living area and sits down on the couch saying. "Want to watch a movie?"

"What do you have?" Damian asked, sitting down beside her.

"My friend gave me Tangled before I left, would you like to watch it?" Marinette said, snuggling into his embrace.

"I've never seen it before," Damian said.

"Well we were making jokes about Rapunzel being Adrien due to his blonde hair and being held practically as a prisoner in his house by Gabe," Marinette said, turning on the movie.

Halfway through the movie, they both fell asleep on the couch. Marinette's alarm went off the next morning, but she didn't hear it. She didn't wake up till twenty minutes later when Damian's alarm went off. They woke up in a confused blushing mess.

"I guess we fell asleep," Damian yawned, stretching.

Marinette checked the time cursing. "Crap, I'm almost late for work."

"Would you like me to drive you?" Damian said standing up and grabbing his keys.

"That would be wonderful. I just have to get change real quick," Marinette said, walking down the hall. She throws on one of her older Jagged Stone shirts, which was worn by Uncle Jagged, ripped jeans and converse. She put her hair up in two small buns on her head.

She runs downstairs and jumps into Damian's waiting cars. Marinette smiles. "Thank you so much for the ride."

"Thank you so much for dinner last night," Damian said, driving the car. When they got there Damian got out of the car quickly and opened the door for her. She then opened the boutique door for her.

"Hi, Diana, sorry I'm late. I woke up late because we fell asleep watching a movie," Marinette said, walking to the back to put her stuff down.

"Hi Diana, it's been a while. How have you been?" Damian asks.

"Pretty good. Life has been easier since my little spot has entered my life," Diana said, sweeping the floor.

"Life has been brighter since my Angel has entered my life. Thank you for sending her to do my measurement," Damian said, with a smitten smile.

"What do you need me to do?" Marinette asked, emerging from the back.

"Well, the suits you took measurements for are done, why don't you go with Damian to tailor them?" Diana asks.

"I have a class right now and my brothers have work. Marinette, can I pick you up after work so you can tailor the suits?" Damian asks.

"That would be more efficient anyway. We have a couple of clients coming in today to get measurements and maybe an original design," Diana said, checking her agenda.

"Ok, Prince, I'll see you after work," Marinette said, going on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"Bye, Angel," Damian said, leaving the boutique.

"So what happened to being no one's girlfriend?" Diana teased with a smirk.

"Well Damian is just so sweet and he asked me out on Friday," Marinette recalled with a smile and butterflies in her stomach.

"You got one of the coldest people in the city to be your boyfriend and you've only been here for a week," Diana said, picking up the dust in a dustpan. "I like your shirt, but I don't recognize the artist."

"My Uncle Jagged, well-adopted uncle, he is popular in France and Western America. He gave this to me because he wanted me to fix a hole. I left it in Chloe's room for when he would be back in Paris but he didn't come back in time. I did design some of his merchandise, including this one."

"Well, that is lovely. Oh! I almost forgot to tell a customer came early this morning, she had seen you leaving in your outfit and she asked where she could find the outfit. I told her to come back later to talk to you," Diana said, excitedly.

"That's awesome!" Marinette said, folding a shirt. They work on little things until a woman walks in. "Hello welcome to Lucky Spot, I'm Marinette, how can I help?"

"Were you the one wearing that beautiful blue off the shoulder shirt yesterday?" the small redhead asked, looking Marinette up and down.

"Yes, I made it before I left the store. My friend, Luka, inspired me. So what's up?" Marinette said, stepping out from the counter.

"Could you design an outfit for my bridal shower?" she asks.

"Come to the back and I'll take your measurements and you can tell me what you're looking for," Marinette says, beckoning the woman to follow her to the back. They talk and the red-head woman, who was named Scarlette, told Marinette a blue shirt and white skirt. Marinette finished taking the measurements, she started drawing out the design.

"I'll this done at the end of the week and I'll text you the price tomorrow," Marinette said, leading Scarlette from the back. "Have a good day, I'll keep you updated."

"Thank you, Nette, have a good day," Scarlette said, leaving the shop.

"So, it sounds like that went well," Diana said, waving goodbye to a customer.

"It went so well! I want to talk to you about the money. I'll give you a cut of it," Marinette said. "I'll pay you for the material and a bit extra."

"That sounds great. So for this upcoming week, we are closed for the day before Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve, and Christmas," Diana said, closing her agenda. "Also I just bought a new sewing machine. I want you to take the sewing machine from the back as a Christmas gift."

"Seriously! Thank you so much!" Marinette exclaimed, hugging Diana. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything."

"Don't worry about it you're starting your new life here in America," Diana said, breaking the hug.

The rest of the day was uneventful. At the end of the day, Marinette packed up the sewing machine and grabbed the completed suits she needs to tailor. When she was done taking the needed materials for Scarlette's outfit, a car was waiting outside, presumably to take her to the manor. Damian got out of the back and opened the door.

"Hey, Angel, I'll grab this if you open the trunk," Damian said, taking the stuff. She opened the trunk and then got in the back of the car.

"Hey, Alfred, how have you been?" Marinette asked, buckling her seat belt. Damian slid in the seat next to her, closed the door, and buckled.

"Pretty good, Miss Marinette. I'm going to make dinner when we arrive at the manor, so we can all eat when the suits are finished," Alfred explained, pulling out into the street and traffic.

"How was your day, Angel," Damian said, holding her hand.

"It was good, someone saw my outfit yesterday and commissioned me to make her a bridal shower outfit," Marinette said with a smile.

"I'm so proud of you," Damian said, kissing her head.

"Thank you, Prince," Marinette said, hugging him.

"Angel, would you join us for Christmas?" Damian asked, kissing her hand.

"I... I would love that. I thought I was going to be alone," Marinette said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yes, Angel I would love to spend Christmas with you. Please never cry again," he said, wiping her tears.

"Thank you so much. You are a prince," Marinette said, hiding into his shoulder.

"We've arrived Master Damian, Miss Marinette," Alfred said, pressing the button to open the gate. When they park Damian opens the car door and the manor door for her.

"Sunshine! I didn't know you were coming today," Dick screamed, looking down on them from the stairs.

"I was asked to tailor the suits to make sure they fit fine. What are you guys wearing these for?" Marinette asked, holding them up.

"I'll go get the rest of the young masters," Alfred said, walking down the hall.

"Can I go first?" Dick asks, running downstairs three stairs at a time.

"I guess," Marinette said, turning to Damian. "Prince, you coming?"

"I'll join you in a minute. I'm going to wait for my brothers," Damian said, kissing her hand.

"Ooooh! Prince! I prefer Demon Spawn," Dick teases as Marinette blushes. She slaps his arm and starts to walk down the hall. "Wait, you don't know where you're going!" he called after her."

"Then show me. I have to get these done," Marinette says, pausing her walking.

"Follow me. Damian we're going to be in the parlor," Dick called back over his shoulder. "So you're dating the Ice Prince."

"I don't know how he got that name, but he isn't as mean as people said. He's so sweet, kind, and such a gentleman," Marinette said, reminiscing of their time together, a smitten smile spreading across her face.

"Awww! You like him a lot!" Dick cooed, opening the door to the parlor.

"He is my boyfriend. Would you get changed quickly so I can tailor your suit," Marinette said, handing him his suit. He left to get changed.

"Did I hear that right?" Jason exclaimed, bursting through the door. He hugged her and spun her in a circle. "You, an actual angel, is dating Demon Spawn?"

"Put me down," She giggles. Once she was safely on the ground, she confirmed what he had said.

"I'm happy for you guys," Tim said. sitting down on the couch.

"That is quite exciting," Bruce says, opening the door.

"Father, this is my girlfriend, Marinette," Damian said, introducing them. "Marinette this is my father, Bruce."

"Hell, Mr. Wayne, it's a pleasure to meet you," Marinette said, sticking out a hand.

"Hello, Marinette, please just call me Bruce," He responded, shaking her hand.

"Ok, I'm ready," Dick says, entering the room again. "Hey, Bruce. Can you believe that Demon Spawn got a girlfriend."

"I had faith in him," Bruce said, he then left the room.

"Ok, Dick stand over there and the person going next please go get changed. Dick, is there any place that is to lose?"

"Could you make the biceps a bit tighter along with the ankles," Dick asks, holding out his arms.

She starts working immediately and she finishes what he asks quickly and precisely. Jason goes next, he asked for the shoulder to be a bit tighter, which she completed. Half-way through Tim's fitting, a bang from the door interrupted her.

"Oh my gosh! Jason wasn't lying!" a boy with black hair, and blue eyes burst in. He was wearing a red hoodie, ripped blue jeans, and red converse. He also was wearing black glasses. "I'm Jon Kent!"

"Who?" Marinette asked, standing up.

"I'm Jon Kent, Damian's best friend, and I'm disappointed he didn't bother to tell me he got a girlfriend," Jon said, plopping down on the couch next to Damian.

"My friends are in a different country and I already told them! Do best friends have different traditions in America?" Marinette asked, sitting down on the other side of Damian.

"No," Damian said, pinching his nose. "It's just I knew he would pester me."

"Aww, I knew you loved me!" Jon said.

"Well, I have to get back to tailoring. Damian, please go get in your suit," Marinette said, sewing the last bit of Tim's sleeve. When she was done with Tim's fitting, Damian walked in his suit. She blushes seeing him all dressed up.

"Angel, like what you see?" Damian smirks, looking at the flustered girl.

"J..Just get over her... here," Marinette stammers. "Where does it need to be tighter?"

"Just the biceps and shoulders," he said.

She starts working quickly. Her fingers dance across his arms as she sews them a bit tighter as he asked. When she was standing in front of him to sew the last part of the sleeve he leaned down and kissed her head, which made her smile.

"All done, Prince," She says smiling up at her boyfriend. She then hugs him. Little do they know Jon took a picture of that moment and sent it to Jason.

Jason immediately posted this tweet with the picture Jon took.

@realJaSonToDd

'Look at it! They're official thanks @JonKent2015. They're adorable together. Love the Sunshine that stumbled into our lives! <3 #Daminette #DemonSpaw'sgirlfriend'

"Thank you, Angel. I'm going to get changed, Alfred will be here in a couple of minutes to show you to the dining room," Damian said, leaving the room. The rest of the boys, except Jon, had left to do other things before dinner.

"So how'd you meet the Ice Prince, "Jon asked, turning towards her.

"Titus tackled me when I first moved here. He then bought me breakfast to say sorry. Diana, my boss, sent me here to do Damian's measurements. Then he took me out to this small cafe the next day. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend," Marinette smiles, thinking about her boyfriend.

"You love him don't you," Jon says, looking her in the eyes.

"I only met him a little more than a week ago, but I really like him," Marinette said not meeting his eyes a blush spreading across her cheeks. A knock came, she and Jon stood up to follow Alfred.

"I already knew Master Jon, was coming. I could feel it," Alfred said, opening the door to the dining room. Most of the family was already sitting down. Damian walked in behind them.

"Sit here, Angel," He said, pulling out a seat.

"Wait that's not fair I want to sit next to her too!" Dick said, shoving Jon out of the way. "Sorry, Jon, but I want to sit next to this Sunshine.

"I get it," Jon shrugs sitting on the other side of Dick. "She's nice and pretty sweet."

Dick takes out his phone to take a selfie with her. "Smile!"

"Make sure you don't post that please," Marinette said after the selfie was taken.

They ate dinner together in a surprisingly happy chatter. The dinner seemed so homey. "I haven't eaten a family dinner in forever. It's so nice to see you guys so close and together," She smiles, collecting plates to bring to the kitchen.

"You don't have to clean up Angel, you're our guest," Damian says, taking the stack of dirty plates from her hands.

"But I want to help," she says, collecting the silverware she also took the stack of plates before he could object.

"Damian, I need to talk to you," Jon said, pulling him aside before he could follow her into the kitchen.

"What?" He groaned as he was dragged into the hall.

"There's something wrong about her," Jon started, Damian stiffened. "She is very injured. I saw it when she was tailoring your suit, with my x-ray vision."

"What do you mean?" Damian asked his voice stern.

"She has recent burns, which is normal if they were on her hands, but the scar tissue was all over her back. She has remnants of a stab wound in her side. She also has multiple broken bones that looked healed ridiculously fast," Jon explained. "I want my dad to take a look at it."

"You will do no such thing. Here's the thing about her, she is a hero of Paris. There is only one problem there's something called Miraculous cure that heals everything. Maybe it doesn't heal everything," Damian said.

"How'd you know?" Marinette said closing the door behind her she opened her purse. "Ya know what, I gotta get going. No one was supposed to know. Tikki, Spots on." After a flash of pink light, they heard footsteps and they look just in time to see her jumping out the closest window.

"Marinette!" Damian screams, running toward the window she had jumped out of. "What have you done!?"

"I was trying to help! I was worried about her well being," Jon exclaimed backing up.

"We heard screams, what happened? Where's Marinette, she was coming out to ask if you guys wanted dessert," Jason asked bursting through the doors.

"She's gone! Jon made her leave," Damian screamed, shoving Jon.

"It's not my fault I was worried. She looked broken," Jon said, shoving him back.

"I can't lose her over this! I... I really really like her. I invited her to Christmas dinner and everything," Damian said, falling to the ground. "I didn't even say good-bye. I swear, Jon if I don't see her again, you'll be answering to me."

"I was worried about her well being--" he started.

"But you wanted to call Clark, just freak her out more, why don't you?" Damian said, slamming the door shut

"Damian, she told me herself she really likes you! Her face was so pink when she was talking about how much she liked you! Dude, I don't think she will leave you over this," Jon said, following him.

"You don't know that though! I can't lose her, she makes my life brighter," Damian said through his bedroom door. He was sitting on the ground looking on his phone. He screamed Twitter was blowing up again.

"Jon! You sent a picture of Marinette and me to Jason!" He exclaimed, slamming open the door.

"Ya, why? I couldn't believe that you were being kind and I wanted to show Jason and how'd you know?" Jon asked, backing up.

"He posted that picture! The hashtags DemonSpawn'sgirlfriend and Daminette are trending!" he said.

"Her face isn't in the picture," Jon reasons.

"It doesn't matter look it!" Damian said, holding out his phone with Twitter opened.

@GotahmOfficialNews

'It only makes sense that Sunshine as @realJaSonToDd put it would melt the heart of Damian Wayne a.k.a. Ice Prince and only blood heir to Bruce Wayne. Who is she? How did they meet? Does she have a cute nickname for him? These are things we need to know!'

"I didn't realize he was going to post it! I just wanted to show him how sweet you were being with her!" Jon reasoned. Damian slammed the door again and started punching his punching bag that his Father had added in when he turned thirteen and had to replace it when he was fifteen.

Marinette arrived home at eight in the night crying, knowing that she would have to leave. No one was supposed to know about her being Ladybug because it endangers them. She decides to put on the Notebook at least they had a happy ending. It hadn't been this hard getting over Adrien, why does it hurt so much right now? 'Because you stupidly fell in love,' her mind supplied.

After she finished watching the Notebook, she transforms and flies across the cold winter night. She lands on a building that isn't Wayne Enterprises and faces away from it. She sits out in the cold for a while thinking about where she could go. She was sad because she had already started building a life here and she already had to throw it away not even two weeks into it. Her thoughts were brought back to the present by the sound of feet crunching the snow behind her.

Big oof of a cliff hanger. Haven’t done one like these before, enjoy.

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Tag list (Open):

@northernbluetongue @melhuney @ladysblackcat @sturchling @otaku4312 @g-arya @smolplantmum @bluefyoto94 @echpr @moonlightstar64 @thesunanditsangel @cutechip @heaven428 @elmokingkong @kass-is-weird @niza13149 @urbanpineapplefarmer @ginamarie1512 @chocolatecatstheron @iggy-of-fans @crazylittlemunchkin @komatsuna-yuki @weird-pale-blonde-person @ellerahs @sinnamonroill @daminett4life @queenmj10 @indecisive-mess-named-me

#ml new life au #ml salt fic #maribat #marinette x batfam #batfam #damianette #damian x marinette #damimari #daminette #miraculous salt #lila salt #ml x dc #wifiwrites #damian wayne #marinette dupain cheng

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doctorguilty · 3 years

Note

Hello, I follow you but I don’t think we’re mutuals, so I hope it’s not strange to invite myself to talk about using blood for art. I use to paint in blood and I feel I’ve went through the same stream of thoughts as you expounded when I was discovering it. I haven’t posted anything in years but my tumblr is mostly blood art, including my own (there’s no gore). I think you should experiment with medium so long as you’re being safe. It’s a very emotional and personal experience and way to express one’s self. Maybe even spiritual. I’ve felt it was therapeutic. Everyone will find it strange, and be concerned. That’s okay though, I’ve learned that’s just the natural reaction. It’s from a place of care, it’s not meant to be invalidating towards the artistic aspect of it even though it can feel that way. And it sounds like you have a strong conviction to to explore it and you’ve already put a lot of thought into it. We can talk more about it if you’d like. Again, just be safe!

Omg hello!!! It's not weird at all and you're very welcome to talk, I'm not even sure why I said mututals in the post maybe I thought like "only my friends will care" or something?

I didn't even realize blood art had it's own like, community or anything until looking at your blog. I feel really validated by it and what you had to say ;o;

///death mention///

I could go on a lot about my thoughts like... maybe the spiritual aspect for me is a frustration with mortality and the thought of dying and not having a physical relationship with the world anymore. Like its gonna sound weird but I have considered looking into stuff and making it my dying will to be used for science so like, my organs could be preserved in jars and stuff?? If that's possible? The idea is warm and loving to me ;;;

I dont know if this is where it stems from but when my dad a abruptly and tragically died, I was not at all involved in the decisions on what would happen to him and it happened very, very fast. He was cremated and they threw his ashes in the ocean. Like.. that was it. Gone forever. I hate it. I hate it!

///end death mention///

I guess what I'm trying to say is these things that seem morbid to others help me cope with mortality and comfort me.

I'm all about safety and I know a lot about it since I'm really into medical stuff!!! I plan to use leeches to collect blood for a necklace I'm going to make my bf so I'd probably just do the same thing! (My roommate has TONS of them like more than he even wants cause they keep breeding so I'm gonna adopt some)

Thank you for your thoughts I!! Feel more empowered, maybe enough to even ask close friends if they'd be comfortable and interested in recieving a blood art gift from me ;0;

#death mention

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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 4 years

Text

It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You): A Critical Role Fanfic

Guess who’s back? Honestly, I have to thank the Essek Fanclub Server for this. You guys are awesome, and an amazing inspiration. 2019 was a pretty bad year in terms of my writing, but, it ended amazingly because of the Critical Role Fandom. Here’s to 2020! Have some hot wizard yearning and sexy dream sequences inspired by my favorite song by the 1975.

Enjoy!

Warning: Explicit Sexual Content

Read it on AO3

Preview:

This was all because he hadn’t seen the Mighty Nein in a month. He was...getting all confused and acting like some sort of lovelorn maiden from one of the trashy Empire smut novels that he definitely didn’t read after he confiscated them.

“By the Luxon, let them come back soon, or else I might really go mad,” Essek muttered to himself.

“Where are they?” asked a courtier. The question was hissed at Essek as he paused in the Lucid Bastion, the green-lantern glow washing his face out to a pallid hue.

“I do not know,” Essek said simply, with a smile, finding it better than lying.

____

“Where are they?” Professor Waccoh grumbled at Essek, over the tops of the papers she had stacked on her desk. Reports, ideas, and death machines all found their place there, scattered like snowflakes or ashes amongst the heap.

“I do not know,” Essek responded, still smiling.

____

“Where are they?” the Bright Queen demanded, hand dripping with jewels glinting like knives in the light as she slammed it upon the table.

Essek smiled, and shook his head.

____

“Where are you?” Essek asked the empty house, but the windows remained darkened. It stared back into him, searching, and he didn’t have a response.

____

“Will you be long, Shadowhand?”

“Not too long, but I do wish for some privacy,” Essek told his shadow with a sidelong look. In the next moment, the shadow disappeared. For a moment he remained outside the temple, just relishing the stolen moments of being alone, before slipping inside the building without any further delay. Really, it was better to get this over with.

The Temple of the Lord of Light that was closest to the Bright Queen’s abode was a lavish affair. The ceilings were crowded with rows of geometrically patterned lanterns that cast a glow that could be hard for Essek’s eyes to handle. Carved into the walls were the sculptures depicting the mythology of the Lord of Light, His Glorious creation, the Vanquishing of the Spider Queen, and the Ascension of the Bright Queen. Along that were prayer altars that various drow and other citizens of the Dynasty huddled by, to light their own candle and pray. Often when one saw Essek float by, they bowed their heads out of respect for him.

He approached the private praying rooms, and as he did so he apparently caught the eye of one of the clerics. Essek recognized her as Derise, one of the head clerics of the Lord of Light. Though he loathed to do so, he dispelled his levitation magic. His heels clicked as they touched the floor. Clerics could be touchy about the appearance of power in their sacred spaces, and many of those with power among the clergy did not like him for a litany of reasons. He was young, not of one of the storied bloodlines, rather recently adopted in comparison to others, and yet he had gained remarkable power within his first life. They didn’t like him because he wasn’t one of their little puppets and he knew all their secrets in a way that perhaps only the Luxon might, and that made them afraid of him.

(Though he didn’t wish to think of them, it was part of the reason he had found certain members of the Mighty Nein so refreshing. Religion without certain pretenses had its own charms.)

“Lord Shadowhand,” Derise said, pointedly not bowing her head. She held her head up high instead, as if issuing him a challenge. Essek, instead, smiled as he usually did. He curled his fingers behind his back in a display of complete openness.

“Lady Derise, I pray the Light finds you well on this day,” Essek said, not bowing because he was certainly still wearing his back brace. Instead he inclined his head an inch. A vein jumped at her jaw. Amatuer, Essek thought derisively.

“And may it find you well, too. It is a lovely surprise to see you haunt these halls,” Derise said, with a tight smile. “I am sure the Bright Queen will be pleased to hear you are working on your religious studies today.”

“Matters of security tend to keep me from my spiritual needs. A bad habit of mine, unfortunately. The Bright Queen understands, of course, being the leader she is.”

“The Bright Queen is certainly accommodating with her favorites,” Lady Derise said, looking down at him from her nose.

“I am afraid that I am far too stubborn to be accomodated,” Essek laughed lightly as he walked forward only pausing to look back at her. “Your daughter, however, is a very accommodating creature. I know she was so pleased about her cousin’s engagement to General Dozall, that is how she ended up at his house at the witching hour.”

“That--it was---” Derise sucked on the air like it had been punched out of her chest. she coughed hastily, like being caught on her own deceit was physically painful. Really it was pitiful when those older than him were so easily tangled in the web. He almost felt bad for her. Almost. But it wasn’t in his nature to pardon stupidity.

“Hm? Well, all’s well that ends well,” Essek said evenly. “You really ought to go to a healer. I can always have one of my shadows escort you, just like they did for your daughter. It wouldn’t do to have you in trouble, my lady.”

“I am too busy to entertain bad jokes, Lord Shadowhand,” Derise said, her tone clipped and icy. “May the Light keep you.”

“And may it keep you as well.”

Derise stormed off. Essek found the royal prayer chamber, which he was allowed to use due to his position as Shadowhand, off of the main cathedral. It was a beautiful chamber with lofted roof painted with images of the constellations and the sun and the moon. In the center was a large fountain, portraying one of the first lives of the Bright Queen holding her arms aloft with the dodecahedron, about her were creatures of the forest and behind her was the fountain styled as a waterfall. It was popular among artist renderings of the queen to have her placed like that, though the fountain of youth iconography was a bit on the nose for him. Essek enjoyed the arts, but hadn’t had time to properly commission something since he had his portrait painted.

He cleaned his fingers within the blessed waters, before kneeling before the altar. He cleared his mind, closed his eyes, and prayed in Undercommon,

“Oh Glorious Lord of Light, You who were first in the Universe and Master of All Creation. Keep me and bless me, in this life and my future lives. Let Your glow illuminate the darkness inside, so that I may reach new heights. Show me the way as you did Our Most Righteous Queen, so that I may never be led astray. Let me pray for ascension, for consecution…”

There was the sound of delicate footsteps upon the marble and rustling fabric. Essek opened his eyes and looked to see the Bright Queen. As always she was arresting to look at, today fashioned more like a river-bathed-in-moonlight. She was without the armor she tended to wear at court, but adorned with a necklace made of platinum and blue topaz that clasped high at her throat and spilled across her skin like the tide. He began to stand, but she lifted her hand and he remained where he was.

“Your recitation of the Book of Madark is quite beautiful,” the Bright Queen remarked, looking towards the altar with the deeply fervent expression she always did. “I always did prefer Madark. He made me sound quite grand.”

“He never overstated your glory, your majesty,” Essek said honestly, bowing his head slowly.

“Madark was quite in love with me, I’m afraid,” the Bright Queen sighed, smoothing out her dress that shimmered like the scales of a fish. “Quite boorish about it too. I do not like men who overstay their welcome.”

“Or women who flirt and swoon,” Essek added before clearing his throat, “And the glorious star herself, may She guide us forever. Our Eternal Blessed Queen, who Heralded the Truth. Beauty Incarnate, who sets the heart ablaze with a single look-- ”

“Oh, the Book of Terawane. Ghastly stuff. I always told her that she was much better suited to singing than to writing. So melodramatic,” the Bright Queen said with a long-suffering hum. “I can bear it when you recite it, Essek. But do not make me listen to the High Priest give his lecture of how my breasts are twin fawns and my lips are a violet ribbon one more time.”

“Are you asking me to sanction his disposal?” Essek asked, taking a seat beside her.

“Nothing so dire,” the Bright Queen laughed, her voice silvered bells upon the marble and high ceiling. She looked into the fire of the candlelight thoughtfully. “No…”

Looking upon her, he often wondered what she felt. She had achieved perfection, she was the umavi. And yet as the firelight danced across her cheek, Essek wondered if she ever tired. She broke his revelry with a tap of her fingers against the stone bench.

“I’m sure you need no news,” the Bright Queen said. “The Mighty Nein have met with King Dwendal after being missing for so many weeks.”

“I was aware.”

“What do your shadows tell you that the human arcanist did not? Was it right to pull back the assault do you think?”

“Yes, it was. It was the cultists who were utilizing our assault to better their aims, we have confirmed reports of a Priestess of the Dawnfather being in cahoots with the conspiracy, and the Mighty Nein dispatched her. Now they work to broker peace. They are being asked to coordinate a parlay between Empire and Dynasty, by giving us back one of the beacons. In their private talks, they are anxious about finding a neutral location, but have not seemed to betray us. Though, Beauregard did state she infiltrated us to get closer to the enemy.”

This was all really just a formality. She knew what he knew, and he knew what She knew. Just another part of the game, Essek thought. The game in which they would all be winners or they would all be losers. It would be up to the Mighty Nein, and the prospect was somewhat terrifying.

“Just that claim is enough for me to have them killed on sight,” the Bright Queen warned him.

“Considering the slipshod job they did of infiltrating us, I find it very likely and compelling that they are just saying what they need to say to retrieve the beacon. That was the assignment given, and that seems to be what they are doing. Besides, they did not hinder our operatives while in the Empire.”

“One of the reasons you amuse me so is you are such a delightful pacifist,” the Bright Queen said.

“So long as it amuses you, your majesty.”

“You would be all I wish you to be, then? Have you no thoughts of your own?” the Bright Queen dared.

“All I have ever done, and will ever do, I do to serve at your leisure. I am just one of the voices you allow to fill up your ear. However, considering you chose and continue to choose to fill it with mine, it gives me some hope about where your opinion lies.”

“And where is that?”

“The long game, your majesty. It would do the Dynasty no good to rip the Empire out by the throat, utterly decimating their population and society. It would only serve to prove the Empire’s propaganda right, and move the masses against us. Instead, we take the high road. We show the Empire citizens we are not the monsters they claim us to be. And then, slowly, we can...improve upon their society,” Essek said simply.

“You care for the masses.”

“I must admit my bias for the common people, no matter their country of origin. At my core, I am still very much the street rat Skysybil yanked off the street.”

“And does it not concern you that they haven’t messaged?”

“I’m sure they are just busy, saving the world and all that,” Essek stated.

"Are you sure you are not just lonely for your wizard pet?" The Bright Queen's asked.

"This is far more amusing," Essek promised with a smile.

The Bright Queen's considered him. She reached out to cup his face and turn it up towards the candlelight. Essek blinked rapidly, but was docile and allowed her to do what she wished.

"Tell me something that no one else knows, Essek," she commanded him.

"I have no secrets from you, your majesty," Essek said, unable to help the way his head tipped to the side in curiosity. "What would you have me tell you?"

"I would have you look at me, unhindered by the mask you wear," she bid him, her fingers running in his hair. "And tell me your feelings, uninhibited. Do you believe that I am in the right?"

"With all of my heart," Essek said without hesitation, "I believe in you, for you are my sovereign."

"And you live to serve me, of course. But do you trust in my judgement?"

"I do, but I do not trust those who may seek to influence your decisions. You are divine, my queen, but not infallible. Though I am devoted to you with all of my heart, I will do my best to change your mind should I think you wrong.”

"With most of your heart," the Bright Queen's corrected, releasing him. "I hope you don’t take me for a sentimental idiot. You are a mortal, and your desires are that of a wild young foolish creature."

“I’m sure it seems that way.”

“They cannot be changed, my dear Shadowhand,” the Bright Queen said mournfully. “My nation will only ever be safe when the Empire has been decimated. It is within their nature to expand and conquer, and even if we broker a peace now it will not last.”

“If you believed that, I would be out of the job,” Essek informed her.

“Perhaps,” the Bright Queen stated. “But for now, what can we do besides pray?”

Between that breath and the next she was gone, leaving him in the prayer chamber alone.

_____

"Will you require anything else, my Lord?"

Essek looked up from his reading to see one of his servants. Essek smiled at him, and watched as the servant relaxed minutely and settled the tray with tea by the bedside table. This one was a newer hire, an assistant to the cook when he wasn’t completing general housekeeping tasks though Essek had the sneaking suspicion he would prove to be a better cook with time. It was important, to know and cultivate your assets.

“No, Amald, you are dismissed for the night,” Essek said. “Tell your wife I send my regards and well wishes to her health. She is with her third, yes?”

“And ready for the end of it, I’m afraid,” Amald said, tusks showing with his smile. “This pregnancy has not been easy on her. Our Denmother believes the birth will be difficult too.”

“Well, I shall send for my personal healer then,” Essek said, closing his book. He held up his hand at Amald’s immediate attempt at response. “Do not worry about the cost, I shall take care of it. Consider it my gift to you and your wife, and a favor I may ask repaid.”

“Of course,” Amald said his voice rich with feeling and gratefulness, bowing so deeply that Essek was worried he would topple over. “You are most kind, my lord.”

Essek blinked at the sight, fighting off his frown easily. Essek often enjoyed compliments. He was handsome, talented, shrewd, powerful, generous any number of things. Kind though? Not one of the usual ones.

“Until tomorrow,” Essek said, and Amald took off.

Essek enjoyed the remainder of his tea, a wonderful blend of ginger, licorice root, peppermint, and chamomile. He always found going into a trance so much more pleasant on the tail-end of nice tea and a good book. He could almost hear his Denmother lecturing him about the importance of trance, after collapsing with exhaustion during his first year of his education.

Essek slipped into bed, laying down among the sheets and pillows. It was always easier to trance when he wasn’t sitting, or his back would protest. He listened to his heart beat, to the breath in his lungs, felt the way his ribs moved beneath his skin, fell deeper...deeper…

He was in his Denmother’s salon. Not his Denmother yet...at least not on paper. Mathulsda Theylss was frowning at him severely, looking him up and down as if all his faults were written upon his features and could be categorized accordingly.

“Smile in a way that doesn’t make you look like you swallowed a frog,” his Denmother scolded. Essek’s reflection looked back at him. A sixteen year old Essek looked annoyed at best, contemptuous at worst. “Smile.”

“I don’t want to smile,” Essek snapped at her.

“You are lucky you were born in this era, boy,” his Denmother scoffed, leaving his side for a moment to take a sip at some wine. “Or you wouldn’t have a choice about what was done with your pretty face. You were the one complaining about the way they treat you, listen to my advice or don’t bother to complain.”

“How is smiling better going to help me? They hate me because they think me common,” Essek demanded, and was given a pinched cheek for his question. She released him and he held his cheek, glaring at her.

“No, they hate you because they know you are anything but common,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She looked at herself in the mirror, and Essek looked at her reflection and saw the transformation. She was truly arresting, in the way she smiled and turned her head just so. “It is easy then, to change hatred to love. You suss out those who hate you, and then you go to their friends. You find their weaknesses and can exploit them easily, because there is nothing for them to hate about you. Your professors will adore you, and will teach you all you wish to know. The noble dens will look at you and say, what a wonderful boy. The Bright Queen will favor you. Forget how to frown, Essek. That horrid little street urchin you were doesn’t exist. You are pretty, pleasant, considerate, and you smile. It is no longer a mask you can slip on and slip off when you play your childish little games with Skysybil. It is who you are now, forever.”

“I’m not like that, that’s not who I am,” Essek said, staring at himself. “I’m…”

“Essek Theylss is,” she said softly, as if it were a mercy. Her hands were upon his shoulders. “If you wish to be Essek Theylss, it’s who you will become. If you cannot get along with them, if you cannot make allies and cannot play the game, we have no use for you. There are other children with talent, though maybe not as talented as you, but they can become far more useful to us if you will not. So? Are you willing?”

Essek watched his own reflection as he schooled his face into a soft smile. It fit onto his face cleanly, naturally, as if this were the way he was always meant to look. Maybe it was the way he was meant to look. Maybe she was right. If this was what everyone wanted then this was for the best. The Denmother patted his shoulder, in a mockery of fondness that tore that thought out by the root.

“Very good, Essek,” she praised, standing in front of him to fix the collar of his uniform. She was taller than him, looking down at him with cruel delight. “Isn’t that so much better? We must always look our best, don’t we--?”

Wake up!

Essek tore himself out of that trance, jerking up so fast that his back twinged. He pressed his hands to his face, taking a few moments to just breathe. He knew better than this, Essek thought, thoroughly annoyed at himself as he lay back down with a huff. A trance was a fluid state, a visitation of memories or dreams affected by waking emotions and thoughts. Bad thoughts led to bad memories or dreams which led to bad trances.

“All I have are bad thoughts,” Essek said as he breathed out to the ceiling, resigned to his fate. There was just too much jumbled together in his mind, too much worry.

Something you don’t know? Essek thought crossly. I miss the Mighty Nein, their shenanigans and their quirks that make me feel like I am not altogether that odd and that I have my life in a workable order. I don’t believe that I have a mask anymore, there is only this. I don’t know how to be without a smile. I don’t even know what it’s like to be that person anymore, but I feel as close to it as I ever have when I am with Caleb Widogast of all people. I want them to like me. I want him to want me, whoever that is.

Essek continued to breathe, though he felt that it was a struggle. He needed to rest. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be as sharp as he needed to be.

Rest, Essek told himself, forcing his eyes closed. Rest.

Entering into a trance again, he was greeted with a dark space. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was a comforting absence. It was a night sky without stars, the inside of your eyelids, the feeling of being underwater, in the warmth, in the bath--

"Essek," Caleb murmured.

Essek was in bed, somewhere comfortable and soft. A weight on the bed next to him, a body pressed deliciously to his as if searching for warmth. This wasn’t what he wanted, Essek thought dizzily. He wouldn’t be able to rest like this, not when his body suddenly felt so alive.

“Essek,” Caleb called again. There was a dip in the bed, the sensation of being straddled, a press of a kiss to his neck. Essek shuddered at the soft touch, the way he was being kissed like he was precious. Like he would shatter at a harsher touch. He gasped as his eyes fluttered open.

“Oh,” he sighed, reaching up to touch Caleb’s face, brushing across his cheek with the back of his hand. Caleb leaned into the touch as if he chased it. His eyes were the powdery blue flowers painted in the mural on their barbarian's wall, regarding him with a tender, searching expression. The emotional whiplash almost took Essek right out of this, but he was anchored by the feeling of Caleb’s body against his.

“Will you stay with me?” Caleb asked him, catching his hand. He nuzzled it sweetly, causing goosebumps to ripple across Essek’s skin, before cradling Essek's face in his hands. Caleb didn’t smile as much as he should, in fact, Essek had gotten the distinct impression that Caleb had long since gotten out of the practice of smiling. But he would look so lovely, if given the opportunity. Essek’s traitorous heart told him that perhaps he would be the one to offer those opportunities, if Caleb would let him.

"Yes," Essek said, managing to get the word out from his heavy tongue. Caleb managed to remedy that problem by dipping his head down and catching Essek in a kiss. Essek tipped his head, to deepen the kiss, to let it linger as long as he could. To feel the imprint of teeth and the stroke of the tongue that left him tingling all over. Essek trailed his fingers over Caleb's bare arms, feeling the hair there, the rough criss-cross of scars against sun-worn freckled skin.

They kissed and explored each other without worry or haste, until Essek lay breathless beneath Caleb, allowing Caleb to pamper his skin with attention, to lavish him with his desire in a way that had him shivering. Essek couldn’t untangle himself from Caleb, from his legs or his arms, and he didn’t want to. Essek was caught there and he never wanted to escape from Caleb’s arms.

"You are so beautiful," Caleb whispered, nipping his collarbone. Essek's breath caught in his throat.

Essek regarded Caleb through a half-lidded gaze, memorizing the exact way Caleb’s hair escaped his tie, and the constellation of freckles dusted across his nose. The adorable little human curve of his ear, the human thickness of his body. Essek had seen the way that others looked at Caleb, with a desire that soaked in one’s skin like a warm summer rain. It made Essek covetous and proud, because Caleb had eyes for him. They were a well-matched pair, in Essek’s opinion.

"Please, do tell me what you find so beautiful about me," Essek bid him.

“Smug,” Caleb chuckled.

“I am merely asking for the facts of the matter,” Essek told him, sitting up. He climbed into Caleb’s lap, something very bold and daring for him, but it was nice to be somewhat taller than Caleb in that moment. Essek found the shell of Caleb’s ear he had previously admired, tracing it with his lips and the barest brush of his canine, letting Caleb shudder under his touch. He curled his arms around Caleb’s neck, looking deep into Caleb’s eyes as he pulled his head back with the softest tug. Caleb bared his neck to him easily, so easily submitting to the touch, and it set upon Essek the fire of desire “Tell me, be a clever boy and tell me what I want to hear.”

“You are the most powerful and beautiful man I’ve ever laid my eyes upon,” Caleb groaned, moving their hips together in a way that made Essek shudder. “I need you. No one else could ever compare to you, Essek.”

“Yes,” Essek gasped, feeling Caleb hot and hard and longing against him. It was driving him crazy. He had spent so long without a lover, without sampling the pleasures of flesh. He hadn’t needed it, and he hadn’t missed the few and sparse flings of his youth. They had been bare-boned things that couldn’t even be called romance, a simple almost instinctual satisfying of urges, a useful distraction, a way to utilize his pretty face to get what he needed. Knowledge, power, the game of politics had been so much more entertaining, and intellectual curiosity being quenched was so much more satisfying. People were easy to manipulate when they were kept at an arm’s length, it was so much easier to smile when there was nothing at stake.

But this? This was something else entirely. He couldn’t even control his body, couldn’t think through the haze of desire. He resurfaced and had to have pushed Caleb underneath him, because suddenly his hands were digging into his shoulders and his hips were moving desperately to the staccato rhythm of his heart as Caleb dragged him harder and more deliciously against him. Pleasure tore him open, it filled him up, it was so good--!

“Look at you,” Caleb moaned, pressing his flame-hot hands against Essek’s belly. “So lovely, so beautiful wrung out like this, just for me. What a treasure you are…”

“More,” Essek demanded, not sure how much longer he could last but wanting to wring out this moment as long as he could. Everything was on fire, on a pin-needle edge, but he wanted to be greedy. He wanted all the things he couldn’t allow himself, all the things that Caleb could give him and that he could give to Caleb in equal measure.

Oh by the Light, they were making love. The realization made Essek lightheaded, it made his back arch with the intensity of the sensation, it sent his teeth on edge. He would be ruined for everything else, Caleb would ruin him, but he had to give in.

“You are exquisite,” Caleb gasped, reverently, desperately--lovingly and then he gave in to the pleasure, forcing Essek over the edge with the intensity. Essek wilted upon him, no more strength in his limbs to hold him. Caleb stroked him through it, with him. For a few blissful moments, there was nothing else in his mind.

Slowly though, he emerged. Essek peppered Caleb’s face with kisses, curling his leg around him, burying his face into Caleb’s shoulder and his soft, fragrant hair. Caleb’s fingers scratched the back of his head, in a way that made him sigh with sated pleasure.

“It is time to wake, Essek,” Caleb chuckled, voice amused and hazy with warm gentle lovemaking.

“No,” Essek grumbled, more firmly pressing himself to Caleb. It was a stubborn childish thing that well in his chest, but he didn’t care. In that moment, completely divulged of his mask, he just wanted to be selfish.

“Yes, it is,” Caleb said wistfully, and as Caleb gently stroked Essek’s back in soft comforting waves that drew him deeper, further...softer…

Essek resurfaced having drooled into his pillow. He sat up and looked at himself in the mirror, at his mussed bed-head and very inelegant splotches across his cheek and--his dream!

His face burst into heat, he grabbed the closest pillow, buried his face into it, and bit into it hard to stifle his scream. Oh by the Light! Had he reverted back into his second decade? He thanked the Luxon and all the Gods above and below for the gift of living alone. He didn’t think he had ever been so mortified in his entire life.

“I’ll never be able to look at him again,” Essek said mournfully, spitting out feathers he had managed to rip out with his fangs. He brought his blessedly cool fingers up to press to his hot cheeks.

“By the Luxon, let them come back soon, or else I might really go mad,” Essek muttered to himself.

His reflection in the mirror seemed to agree.

#Critical Role #Critical Role Fanfic #shadowgast #essek theylss #caleb widogast

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jeremystrele · 3 years

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BE. Founder Grace Dlabik On Smashing Stereotypes + Parenting A Child With Disability

Family

Ashe Davenport

Grace at home with her pup Buzz, featuring beautiful bedding from the Kip & Co. x Bábbarra Women’s Centre collection! Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

A divine family portrait – Grace, Elijah, Morganne and Buzz. Grace’s fab robe is from Suku! Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Left – Grace’s ‘Reclamation Wall’. Artefacts clockwise from left : Woven tray, Southern Highlands, PNG, Small mask, Sepik, PNG, Large mask, Sepik, PNG, Fan, Lese Oalai, PNG, Hair adornment, PNG (origin unsure), Afro bamboo comb, PNG (origin unsure), Woven basket, Highlands, PNG. Right: Morganne, Elijah and Buzz hanging out at home. Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Grace, Elijah and Morganne at the dining table – cooking is one of Grace’s great loves. Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Left: Grace is the founder of BE. a global creative collective dedicated to establishing new pathways to champion young people. They also have a creative agency arm, BE.ONE CREATIVE. Right: Grace, Elijah and Morganne’s home, which is their sanctuary. Artwork in centre is a Tapa Cloth piece, from Oro Province, PNG. Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Grace and Elijah at the BE.HQ! Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Left: Some of the incredible talent at BE. Right: Grace in the studio. Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Grace surrounded by some of the incredible talent at BE. ONE CREATIVE (Grace’s creative agency). Photo – Nynno Bel-Air.

Late in her pregnancy, Grace had a feeling her baby was in trouble. She took herself to hospital for some monitoring, but after checking the fetal heart rate, medical staff concluded that everything was fine. This was 17 years ago, before 3D scans had become routine and readily available. Grace accepted the advice and went home, but disquiet settled over the remainder of her pregnancy.

Elijah was born with his umbilical cord wrapped six times around his neck in a true knot. It caused severe damage to his brain, resulting in quadriplegia Cerebral palsy. Grace, who was 23 at the time, was told that it was very unlikely that he would survive, and if he did, he wouldn’t be able to see, hear or recognise her. She was advised that his quality of life would be too low to justify.

‘Says who?’ Grace asks me over Zoom, 17 years later, fresh from dropping Elijah at school. ‘Who’s to say what the experiences of each one of us should be like? Everybody’s different, has different experiences of life. Everybody wants to be seen and valued.’

Elijah has curly hair like his mum and a grin that can turn your day around. He can see and hear. He doesn’t just recognise Grace, he loves her deeply. He likes playing the drums. He’s wheelchair bound but he’s thriving and loves his life.

Grace’s experience as a parent directly informs the work she does. It’s a big part of why she founded the collective BE. a creative hub for young freethinkers and BE. ONE CREATIVE. BE. is a place that celebrates difference, creativity and gives voice to young people through a multitude of ways. BE. ONE is a creative agency that not only champions expressive and young people’s work, but also allows for that knowledge to be passed on through their mentorship program for young aspiring creatives.

Here’s Grace.

Hey Grace! What was your morning like?

Grace: My day starts at 5am. It means I can get things done and have some time with Morganne. We’ve started going for little walks together. We go through the parklands near our house. There’s no one around, and everything is so soft and tender. The birds are beginning to sing. You might hear a kookaburra, a couple of frogs, but apart from that, everything’s quiet and sleepy. It’s really special.

At the end of the day we’re completely exhausted, and I have my hands full with Elijah. I mean literally my hands are full. The care I need to give to him includes lifting him, changing him, dressing him and tending to him in that way, then I’m smashing out work for BE. while he’s at school, but that morning walk is just mine and Morganne’s.

What’s a typical evening like at your place?

I pick up Elijah at 3, and then it’s all hands on deck until his bedtime at 7. We have dinner together as a family and afterwards I give Elijah a massage. I get his legs out of his wheelchair and rest them on me while I massage them. He loves that part of our daily routine. Touch is such an important and beautiful thing. It gives him a little bit of relief, too, because he’s been sitting all day. It’s a special time for us to bond. He can’t articulate if something’s sore. He’ll communicate to me if something’s really bad, but his pain threshold is so high. He’s used to having niggling discomfort.

How do you and Elijah communicate?

The way that we communicate is through intuition. That’s something to be said for mothers in general. We’re so deeply connected to our children. Elijah understands a lot more than he can say, but because of the extent of brain damage that he had, he also has an intellectual disability. But we’ve been communicating with each other since before he was born. We have our own language and it’s deeply connected.

My experience as a parent directly informs the work I do at BE. I’ve learned huge lessons and I’ve come through the other side of these very complex challenges without a handbook – of course it’s an ongoing and ever-evolving life but now I know how to project my voice when I need to. I also understand the importance of surrendering, and trusting the pathways that life has given me. And don’t get me wrong, it’s really hard sometimes. Especially for people with a disability or people of colour, bla(c)k or Indigenous people, like myself. There’s a lot stacked against you from the get-go. But I’ve been given these tools that I can give to others, so that’s what I do, and I believe a big part of what we’re here to do.

What does next year look like for you and your family?

Elijah finishes school at the end of this year. I’ve been very overwhelmed thinking about what’s next for him. How will the outside world view him and welcome him? How will he take pride in what he’s able to contribute? Who will give him a chance? Will he ever be able to go to the footy and pay his own way? He doesn’t have those opportunities unless I create them for him, so what does this all look like?

Our society is so ableist and doesn’t really embrace or respond well to people with disabilities. We haven’t learnt how to do that. We don’t have important access to people with special needs, so the stigma builds up. We’ve got to smash these stereotypes around who is “normal” and “not normal.” There’s no such thing. Such a journey of “undoing” that needs to be done.

The National Insurance Disability Scheme (NDIS) was given a bunch of money in this year’s budget. Will that be helpful to you in any way?

To some degree, yes, however it’s a real battle to advocate for the requirements and needs for Elijah. Everything they’re affiliated with is privatised. It costs Elijah $870 for a night in respite care, for example, just so I can have a night off. Or go out on a date with my partner. Before NDIS, it was $560 per night. They’ve increased the price so much, because they can. There’s greed at the core of it, not humanity. It’s ridiculous how much everything costs.

I fought for years for Elijah’s standing wheelchair, so he was able to be upright and have the autonomy to change his position of his body with the aid of this amazing wheelchair. Years. I had support from a number of MPs, even a Greens Senator. In the end I showed up with a team of medical experts and Elijah, too, so they could fucking see his face and be confronted with him, as a person. Not a case number. They ended up overturning their decision, but that’s how much effort it took, to be granted something that he is clearly entitled to and that will benefit him greatly.

What’s it been like going from a two person family to three?

Elijah’s Dad and I split up when Elijah was little, so I’ve mostly cared for him on my own. What we have is very sacred to me, so the person who came into it had to be pretty bloody special. I’ve worked really hard on my own reflection of love, recognising areas I needed to work on and undo a lot of the adopted heteronormative world, and look at what love really is.

Then along came Morganne, who is a proud trans man. I think I’ve always been a queer person, but I had a fairly heteronormative outlook. I come from a generation that didn’t have the language around identity that we have now. Morganne and I just connected. He’s half Jamaican, half black, like me. I love that my partner can identify with my cultural roots and what it means to be black and on the outer. He prioritises community and family in the same ways that I do and views life on a deeper level.

Morganne has a rescue dog (Buzz) so when we came together as a family unit, it all made sense, with each of us navigating life as an outsider and actively smashing stereotypes. It’s been really hard, beautiful and easy. All at the same time.

Morganne has beautiful sensibilities and a tenderness that allows him to connect deeply to our lives and apply this to his work as a dog walker/adventurer – but he can also smash out caravan walls.

I saw you guys got a caravan! Any trips planned?

We’ve got to make it accessible for Elijah first, that’s something we’re working on together. It’s a labour of love. And maybe a weekend trip here and there for the two of us if Elijah is in respite care. It’s so hard to find an accessible property, unless we go to a fancy hotel, but that’s not a feasible option, I also like to cook and be in nature when I go away.

Our ultimate dream is to buy some land and create a fully accessible and creative space, where we could build our dream accessible home and build fully accessible guest houses. On the property there would be private healing rooms, studio spaces where we could have artist residencies and creative workshops, and people could host retreats such as creative writing, painting, etc. I want a gallery/museum and a large space for talks, conferences or classes (like yoga and mediation).

There’s such a need for a space like this to exist – where nature surrounds us, where healing can occur and where creativity can be harnessed and explored and where people who have a family member with a disability or special needs can seek respite and a getaway. I know this is a big vision but this is what I’m manifesting!

I feel certain you’re going to make that happen… What brings you joy?

Being a mama brings me joy. My culture, aunties and sisterhood bring me joy. Massaging my son’s legs brings me joy. Bathing my son brings me joy. Being of service to people brings me joy. Holding space for people brings me joy. Wholesome, critical and inspiring conversations bring me joy. People mobilising brings me joy. When I see people show up at a rally because they care about someone other than themselves, when they feel compelled to say: Enough is enough, that brings me joy. We’re shifting the paradigm and that brings me joy.

When it comes to political and social oppressive structures, it’s especially important that privileged people, those who benefit from those structures, are joining the fight. I feel hopeful because I see all these younger generations standing up and pushing back. We’re making ourselves actively responsible for each other. Most people just need an opportunity to do better, and they will.

Family Favourites

Weekend getaway? Oh wait…

Lol. Not applicable. We can’t find accessible properties to go away to, so it’s not something we do.

Cafe?

Everyday Coffee. We especially love their coffee for home, because we can’t always get over to Collingwood.

Go-to album?

The Whitney Houston radio station on Spotify. It has Mariah Carey, Lionel Ritchie, Luther Vandross, everyone you need, really!

Sunday morning breakfast ritual?

We often do a big cookup: eggs, greens, roasted tomatoes and mushrooms, whatever we’ve got in the house. Cooking is cathartic and such a loving act for me.

Me time?

Between 6.30-7am I mediate. We have an east-facing window in our living room. I watch the sunrise. It’s nice.

Follow the links to find out more about Grace and Morganne’s projects – BE., BE.ONE CREATIVE, and That Dog Life! You can find Grace on Instagram here.

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years

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Simon Said: 2x05 Recap

Welcome to Hellatus 2017, guys! We’re recapping all of Ben Edlund’s awesome episodes this summer. Hopefully reminiscing about his fabulous episodes will distract us from the pain of losing Cas, Crowley, Rowena, and Eileen (who are we kidding. blerg.)

Then:

Baby Sam is a psychic.

Now:

On a quaint city street, an elderly man gets a phone call and see visions of himself unloading a shotgun. The man looks temporarily concerned, but soon has a relaxed face and walks into his local gun shop. The shop owner greets him as an old friend, but is surprised when “Doc” wants to look at a gun. He’s even more surprised when the doc loads the shotgun, shoots him, and then himself. Our poor Sammy had a psychic vision of this whole event.

On the road, Sam insists they head to the Roadhouse (awww) for Ash’s help, but Dean is reluctant. Dean calls Sam a freak (awwww). They eventually make it to the Roadhouse, Dean greets Jo, but Sam is on a mission to find Ash. Dr. Badass is chillin’ naked in his room.

With the help of Ash, and Sam’s stellar artistic skills, they’re able to pinpoint the town to Guthrie, Oklahoma. No demon activity, so Sam has Ash research house fires in 1983.

Later that evening, Jo queues up REO Speedwagon on the jukebox. Dean takes notice. They briefly exchange pleasantries of hair vs. heart rock, before Jo asks about their mom’s death. Dean shuts her down. And admits to being afraid of Ellen (lolz).

Sam gets a match so the brothers head out. Not without Dean getting a serious REO Speedwagon earworm though. As Dean’s singing in the car, Sam questions Dean’s musical choices, and performing!Dean shuts it all down, asking Sam about what new information he has. Andrew Gallagher: Born in 1983, mom died in a house fire 6 months later.

The boys, dressed in their finest early years cheap suits, start to question a local waitress who worked with Andy. It seems that no matter how hard debt collectors tried, they didn’t get very far with information on Andy. Dean changes their story--they’re lawyers and Andy’s aunt left him a sizeable estate. Another friend of Andy’s sits down to fill the boys in on Andy’s amazing ability of persuasion. He once got them into an Aerosmith concert! The waitress lets them know if they need to find Andy, all they have to do is look for the van with the barbarian queen riding a polar bear. She’s kinda hard to miss.

(FUCKING STONEHENGE FROM SPINAL TAP? REALLY? YASSS.)

And no surprise to us season 12 folks, but Dean’s kinda into Andy’s whole aesthetic. Sam isn’t quite ready for real!Dean. He’s also concerned that they’ve found another weirdo like himself. What does it mean? Dean wonders, “So the demon wants you out there killing with your minds, is that it?” Sam doesn’t disagree. Not really convincing himself, Dean calls bullshit. “You’re not a murderer, Sam. You don’t have it in your bones.” (Guh, what a parallel to Dean and Mary “you’re a killer” --Sam is a Men of Letters, he doesn’t have it in his bones, but he’s badass enough to bring it when it’s needed.)

For Science (but, like, serious science, because I’m pretty sure Jensen Ackles hasn’t aged a day in 10 years):

Just then Andy emerges, complete with scruff, silk kimono, and complete lack of any social grace, and somehow walks away with some dude’s coffee in hand. We soon see him interact with the doc from the cold open! Sam recognizes him right away. The brothers separate-- Sam with the older man and Dean with Andy.

With Dean in not so subtle pursuit, Andy pulls his van to the side of the road and classic dialog commences:

Andy: Hey

Dean: Hey

Andy: That’s a cherry ride

Dean: Yeah, thanks

Andy: Man, the '67? Impala's best year if you ask me. This is a serious classic.

Dean: Yeah. You know, I just rebuilt her, too.

Andy: Yeah?

Dean: Yeah, can't let a car like this one go.

Andy: Damn straight. Hey. Can I have it?

Dean: Sure, man.

Andy: Sweet.

Dean: Hop right in there. There ya go.

Andy: Take it easy.

Dean: All right.

Like, WTF, Dean?

At the same time Dean is losing his most prized possession, Sam is trying to stop the gun store shooting by getting to the gun shop before the doc, and pulling the fire alarm. Afterwards he happens to see Andy casually driving down the road in a ‘67 Chevy Impala. *Does not compute*

Just as Sam calls Dean about the stolen Impala, the doctor gets another call himself. This time he just walks right in front of A VERY FAST BUS.

Later, as the brothers watch the clean-up, Sam admits he thought he had stopped it. And Andy shows up at the restaurant, letting the waitress know that Doctor Jennings is dead. She tells him that some guys were around looking for him earlier that day.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean locate Baby, much to Dean’s relief. The brothers surmise that Andy is verbally controlling people --Dean, and the doctor. Dean doesn’t think that Andy is guilty (OJ though? Guilty.)

The boys break into Andy’s van. And holy shit, “this is magnificent, that’s what this is.” Couldn’t say it better myself, Dean.

Later, during their stake-out Dean admits, “Ugh. You know, one day I'd love to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a minimart.” Oh, Dean, you’ll have to wait 6 more years (and 40 years in Hell) before that dream happens. You’ll nest, I promise. Sam’s still wondering about Andy’s motive. Dean (WHO’S NEVER WRONG) still isn’t convinced. Just then Andy appears, wondering why they’re following him. Sam starts with their lawyer cover when Andy demands they tell the truth. Sam sticks with their story but Dean is quick to admit that they hunt demons. Lolz. Dean just can’t shut up. Dean Bean. He spills EVERYTHING.

Andy demands that they leave him alone. Sam is immune to his persuasions though. Sam makes it clear that they have similar pasts --they’re connected. And just as Sam demands more information about the doctor, he gets another vision about a woman and a gas station. Andy denies knowing anything about the doctor’s death.

Sam collapses under the weight of the vision and when he comes out of it, he’s able to tell Dean about the cell phone call that triggers the victims to kill themselves or others. Dean leaves Sam watching Andy while he heads to the gas station. Not too long afterwards, Dean calls Sam from the station. The woman from Sam’s vision is already extra crispy and, as Dean notes, “the smell hasn’t even cleared.” (Shudder) Sam’s visions not only have zero chill, but they’re not giving them enough lead time anymore.

While Dean deals with the horrifying lingering smell of fried human Sam chills out with Andy and they exchange stories about their special mind powers. Andy loves his powers and never feels the need to use them to get a whole lot more out of life. He still lives happily in his Polar Queen van, after all. He’s got everything he needs to be happy. Dean pulls up then and lets them know that he had Ash run a background search on the dead woman. It turns out that Miss Extra Crispy gave birth to a kid in 1983. Since Andy was adopted, maybe she was actually his mother? They head to the county records department to learn more.

They review the birth records and discover that the woman was indeed Andy’s birth mother. The shotgun happy doctor delivered the baby. Or, we should say, BABIES. That’s right! On this extra special Doctor Phil, Andy learns that he has a twin brother. Andy sits back, astonished. “I have an evil twin.”

Meanwhile, in evil twin land, Andy’s friend Ansem chats up Tracy the waitress, asking if she and Andy were ever serious about each other. He compels her to tell the truth. Aaaaand I’m already grossed out.

In the car, Sam suffers another vision. It’s Tracy standing at the edge of a dam and ready to jump. (She’s only wearing a slip so we get the implication of sexual assault preceding this suicidal leap. UGH)

Cut to Creepy McCreeperson, I mean Ansem, who is sitting in his car with Tracy out by the dam. It’s where he takes all the ladies. (Sexual assault no longer just implied.) She cries and begs to leave. He orders her to stop crying. “You can’t have him,” he tells her, referring to Andy. I don’t even know how to begin to rank the levels of creep in this scene.

The boys pull up nearby and prepare to go after Ansem. Sam suggests that Dean stay back and Dean readily agrees. Sam and Andy will take point.

Back at Ansem’s car, Evil Twin orders Tracy to undress - slowly. He tells her that when they’re done she should walk to the edge of the dam. When she gets there she’ll think she can fly and just step right off. Thankfully, Sam interrupts this dark instruction by breaking the driver’s side window and punching Ansem.

Andy helps Tracy out of the car while Sam wrestles Ansem under control and slaps some duct tape over his mouth. Great thinking! Only...Ansem mind controls Tracy anyway - with his mind - and she whacks Sam with a great big chunk of wood. While Andy and his twin scuffle, Tracy walks to the edge of the dam.

“She’s trying to come between us,” Ansem tells Andy by way of explanation. Aghast, Andy tells him that when you learn to have a twin you call them up and chill out. No murder! Bad twin!

Evil twin sheds some light on his evil-ness then, telling Andy that he dreams of a man with yellow eyes who promises him great things. What’s a little killing here or there when destiny calls?

A little ways away, hidden in the underbrush, Dean draws a sniper’s rifle up. (Me, rn → dead on the floor from attraction.) Unfortunately, Ansem hears him and Dean finds himself moving the rifle up to point the barrel at his own chin.

A gun fires.

Don’t worry guys, Andy saved the day! He shot his evil twin dead. Tracy gets off the ledge and Dean pulls away the gun.

The next morning Andy tells the cops investigating the crime scene that Ansem just shot himself and there’s nothing to investigate. He then wanders past a super freaked out Tracy and over to Sam and Dean. “I never used my mind thing on her before last night,” Andy says, “She’s scared of me now.”

Sam apologizes to Andy. The Winchesters have gotta split. But Sam gives Andy his phone number so he can call if he needs anything. Team Psychic Kids for life!

“What am I supposed to do now?” Andy asks.

“You be good, Andy,” Dean tells him. “Or we’ll be back.”

As the Winchesters head back to the car, Sam reflects on the outcome. Andy ended up killing someone; Andy became a killer. But Dean sees it differently. Andy was a hero who saved Dean’s and Tracy’s life. Still, Sam heard Dean’s little spate of honesty before and he’s not buying Dean’s line of total confidence.

The boys head back to The Roadhouse where they’re cornered by Ellen. She confronts them about information she got from Ash and notes the key details of the psychic kid cases: house fires at 6 months of age. All Ellen wants is the truth. “Something big and bad is coming and it’s coming fast.” They’ve got each other but they have to be honest. (I love you, Ellen.)

Sam tells Ellen all about the other psychic kids and how Yellow Eyes has plans for them. There could be tons of demon-blood-infected youth running around but finding them might be difficult. Not all kids suffered house fires at 6 months. For all those other psychic kids, there’s no way to trace them.

Ellen takes this all in and then says, “Jo, honey? You better break out the whiskey instead.”

The show closes with Soundgarden’s Fell on Black Days - which is super relevant to everyone mourning Chris Cornell right now.

We Full on Obi-Quoted This:

You’ve always been a freak.

He sings it from the hair. There’s a difference.

He full on Obi-Wan’ed me. It’s mind control, man.

And Moby Dick’s bong.

You still live in a van.

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

What are you, seven?

#spn recap #spn 2x05 #simon said #dean winchester #sam winchester #ellen harvell #jo harvell #ash #andy gallagher #supernatural season 2 #he was my ben edlund thing

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ificouldflytotheclouds · 6 years

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Ranking 5 Seconds of Summer by Album - Sounds Good Feels Good (Deluxe Edition)

Long story short, when this album first came out I was pressured by my friend not to listen or buy it. I download the 'She's Kinda Hot Extended Play.' Besides SKH I really enjoyed the songs. At one point or another, I tried to listen to the album but could not get past the first three songs; If only I had known the shell was hiding a gem.

Present day: I keep thinking that the content of the album would've been good for me, but maybe not. Around the time the album came out I was emerging from my state of being depressed. I was trying to figure out my own life again and One Direction's last album was distracting enough.

I listened to the album in its entirety and fell in love with Sounds Good Feels Good this year. While I was late on the game, I believe this album knocked on my door at a time I was welcome to let it in and hear what it had to say. I started listening to SGFG in February. I remember being more excited to go to the gym because I could zone out and listen to this beautiful masterpiece. I can't pinpoint the date I started listening to the album, but I believe it was before Want You Back came out because it helped me see that they were coming out with a new song. But I could also be mixing that up, but I do remember seeing promo for the song and merch before the song dropped. Anyways onto my review (tl;dr: I haven't had as much time with the majority of these songs compared to other fans so the songs ranking and meaning may still shift but honestly that is the case for any album there are songs you can’t relate to at one time but may years down the line).

I love this album, deciding on an order will be difficult, and for that reason, I will be listening to this album on shuffle.

Hey Everybody!

This is one of the first three songs that I just was not impressed with upon first listen. Now I have heard it enough, I jam to this song, not my fav, but I’m not mad at it.

If you are not listening, this song sounds like money, and I may or may not confuse it with money because they talk a lot about money lol.

I can really relate to this song at the moment because I just graduated college. It is important to me that I pay off my loans as soon as possible and for that reason, I am taking a gap year before I go to do my masters to help reduce the financial burden. The issue is I currently do not have a job. I did a temp job the week after graduation, so I’ve only had one week not working, which I am actually very grateful to have gotten the opportunity to do because there are not many times in one's life where they are able to do so. Worse comes to worse I’ll go back to my old job but I want to look for other things first. One of the reasons I didn’t go back to my old job is because I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, I have been with this organization for 5 years, and I think I need to change it up. At the same time I know sometimes a job just needs to be a job. While I am hoping to earn money before I go back to school I am also making sure to focus on me and letting myself live. I am so excited for the 5sos concert this fall, I have a Harry concert in less than a month, and I am traveling to Chicago with my friend to see Niall on the 3 year anniversary of seeing 1d in concert for the first time. Additionally, I am hoping to go vegan and spend my free time doing things that I love such as singing, writing, doing yoga… things that I didn’t give myself enough time to do during college.

Ranking: 1 of 1

Permanent Vacation

Sonically I am so in love with this album. WOw. This song has so many meanings (not that this post was supposed to be me analyzing the lyrics). This is 5sos. They didn’t go the typical route and now they’re on a permanent vacation. I can relate to the prechorus when you just don’t have any motivation for anything and it gets really frustrating, I can relate this to bad mental health days (in which I literally went on a vacation to 2 other countries and I came back and I remember being so happy and content in my daily living, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time) but also I’ve jammed to this while doing homework, I was so over it. They have us in the system, go to school, go to some more, get a job cubical job, it’s a cycle, but I don’t want that to be my life. I want it to be something more. And I feel like that’s what the songs about.

Ranking: 1 of 2 over Hey Everybody!

Fly Away

I always forget how hard this song goes because the chorus is softer than the verse. Just based on these three songs you can tell how the album ties away, going away from the normal, living your life to it’s fullest and not wasting your time mulling over things you don’t find fulfilling. This is a reminder that you can create your own future. It’s all up to you.

When I think of SGFG this song doesn’t stick out to me. I think money and hey everybody makes a bigger punch. With that said...

Ranking: 2 of 3 over Hey Everybody!

Airplanes

Michael Michael. He is so underappreciated. I love all of their voices and I hope Ash gets more solos/parts in Youngblood. I feel like people don’t talk about Michael’s singing enough. Have you listened to live performances when he killed the harmonies? Focusing on when he leads: I think his voice is sooo important to bringing together 5sos’ sound especially when it comes to new broken scene. This song is so adorable, someone coming into your life and suddenly your life has meaning. They way that they describe their life, suddenly bursting to colors. But it’s not that straightforward, the individual isn’t getting better for the new person in their life, this person brings the light, the purpose of the individual doing things for themselves.

The second verse kills me emotionally because this is many of us when we struggle with xyz, our ego gets in the way, we think we can deal with it ourselves, but at one point or another, we recognize that it is larger than ourselves and we think we should��ve sought help. But the thing is, it’s never too late to get help. Even when you’ve found someone who brings neon lights to your life, getting a little extra help from someone never hurt anybody.

Lyrically I like this song better than permanent vacation but permanent vacation is such a bop.

Ranking: 2 of 4 over Fly Away

Broken Home

This song is. So. Good. It’s heartbreaking. While I am adopted and have had some rough times at home I can’t say I can relate to the chorus. This song makes me cry none the less and I can’t imagine how much this song must mean to those who have or are currently dealing with divorce or something similar. My heart breaks for you, my heart breaks for your family. While a dream may be lost hopefully the individuals who once made a couple can find their own happiness and be treated the way that they deserve (not saying that one person is intentionally hurting another, but even neglect, intentional or not isn’t giving the other partner what they may need). Sending you all the love.

Ranking: 1 of 5 over Permanent Vacation

Invisible

This song is so pretty and it’s a song totally up my alley. But when it comes to ranking I know it’s going to be towards the bottom. It’s not a standout song, sonically or lyrically. For me personally, I think that this has to do with life stages, it’s not to say that I don’t have times that I feel invisible at 22, but I think this relates to my time in middle school and high school where was forming my identity. It’s funny going through time and going through friends because sometimes you feel like you aren’t understood, you blend into the background. When you find your people when you truly find your people you burst into light similar to airplanes. That’s not to say that with amazing people surrounding you that you don’t feel invisible, misunderstood....

I don’t know. I find this song difficult to relate to when I don’t currently feel this way. And the times of feeling invisible don’t stand out, in my life as much as it may for other, such that my state of being depressed was persistent for around 2 years. (This song can easily relate to depression/states of being depressed, but I don’t personally feel the connection)

I don’t question that this and the last song are things that 5sos has dealt with but these are also songs that are specifically dedicated to the fans.

Ranking: 5 of 6 over Hey Everybody!

Jet Black Heart

This is 5sos’ anthem. This. Song. Is. Everything. While the last song I couldn’t relate to my own state of being depressed (I say this rather than depression because I was not clinically diagnosed but it was the emotional state of being depressed). There are no words. I want to scream these words on a rooftop for everyone to hear. This song is so vulnerable, which they do an excellent job of conveying in the music video, and just them as artists. We don’t need to know their life stories, but they have given us a glimpse at some of the most difficult things that they have had to deal with in their life.

‘As we burst into color, returning to life’ recently is one of my favorite line because I can relate it from going to dark days to living in a consistent state of grey to having a period in my life where I found AMAZING people and I was So. So. SO. happy every single day.

Ranking: 1 of 7 over Broken Home

San Francisco

Aka the cutest song ever. This is happiness in a song. It is a sand out because it’s lightness and emotional state. “We don’t gotta say anything, don’t say anything at all” sums up the song. It’s about those magical moments that you don’t want to end and you want to last forever.

This is when the ranking is going to get difficult bc broken home was my number one at one point, it no longer is, but that just shows how amazing this album is.

Ranking: 2 of 8 over Broken Home

Waste the Night

I have less and less to say about my favs because I have no words. Also because this song doesn’t have too many lyrics, it’s fairly straightforward, it’s the music that tells the story in this song.

This is one of those songs that makes you so emo in concert because youre standing there living your best life feeling love all around you. (Also when I went to the concert I should’ve been writing in a paper due the next day, ended up turning it a day late. I think it would’ve been crap even if I didn’t go to the concert bc I would've been distracted by the fact that it was going on, it’s not till the next day did inspiration and motivation hit me. I got lucky got a very small reduction and an A in the class)

Ranking: 1 of 9 over Jet Black Heart

Money

So this is the song I had to jump over to properly enjoy this album but this is a BOP. I was so turned off on my first listen it took a while to appreciate the song. Hey Everybody! makes me think of Money but whenever I listen to money it stands out on its own. It another one of those lets fall in love and run away from this town songs. It’s surprisingly cute.

Ranking: 7 of 10 over fly away (this might win over airplanes but I’m going to let it fly)

Outerspace/Carry On

I can’t separate this beauty.

ugh. The feels. They hit hard. This is...a masterpiece and will be on the top of 5sos accolades. “Nothing like the rain when youre in outerspace.” I have no words. And then Carry On ending the album I want to cry. It’s like life can beat you up, you’ll go all over the place, but all you need to know is it’ll get better.

I feel like this song transcends everything else on the album, but at the same time it’s not my #1 you feel?

ugh now I’m questioning all of my rankings should jet black heart go bf san fran and outer space after jet black heart?? I think I am going to go with

Ranking: 2 of 11 over San Fransisco.

Catch Fire

A certified BOP. This makes me think of the line in JBH (but from a bright and beautiful viewpoint). I love when an artist makes references to their others songs within songs. The big thing while listening to Catch Fire is, will it rank above or below castaway bc those are both WOWWOW.

Ranking 6 of 12 over Permanent Vacation

Castaway

This song goes hard it’s so goood. But I’m feeling

right now. So catch fire wins over castaway. Ugh this is the point where the ranking gets hard.

Ranking: 7 of 13 over Permanent Vacation

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

This and saftey pin are second tier songs to me. Like you have top songs that you will die over, second tier is your good, your amazing, but I wouldn’tdie over you. It could be because I’ve been with these two songs longer than other songs on the album. For both songs, the chorus is the best. This is a good song to cry to in the rain (it’s an experience) while walking down an empty street.

Ranking: 8 of 14 over Permanent Vacation

She’s Kinda Hot

I was not a huge fan of this song when it first came out, I viewed it as a bit sexist and just ehh. Over time I realized I was missing the point. Especially by the end of the song, it feels like a different song. There is a reason why they chose this song as their lead single, they were introducing the new broken scene. The title is a bit misleading but I also think that brings a different intrigue to the song. The message of the song empowering...

Ranking: 8 of 15 over The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Saftey Pin

The bridge of this song is everything. I don’t have much to say about the song. It’s solid. This is another one of those songs where you are like this. this. is a 5sos song. Michael said the new album would still have the feeling of running away and being free in the new album and I am excited to hear it on Friday.

Ranking: 8 of 16 over She’s Kinda Hot

Vapor

When we end with the best song. I could see some people seeing this song as nothing special as it is a song that is repeative. Also I do not promote vaping. Don’t do drugs boys and girls. This song is just so pretty and the repeative nature of the song feeds into the softness of the song. Contrasted with the more agressive singing in the chorus, showing how much this individual means to them. Or at least how they dream it to be. I feel like it’s a good compliment to Lie to Me. Vapor = falling for the girl before they’re together, even though she’s not into him. Lie to Me = Heart Break over a girl who destroyed him and he cant get her out of his body.

Ranking: 1 of 17 over Waste the Night

Sounds Good Feels Good Ranking

Vapor

Waste the Night

Outerspace/Carry On

San Fransico

Jet Black Heart

Broken Home

Catch Fire

Castaway

Saftey Pin

She’s Kinda Hot

Girl Who Cried Wolf

Permanent Vacation

Airplanes

Money

Fly Away

Invisible

Hey Everybody

Album Review/Ranking Masterlist

#lol at trying to make this relatable #that wasnt my aim in the first place #im just sharing a lot more than i expected #ugh i need to stop writing with gender pronouns im sorry #this took me forever to do #i should've had it done earlier but *shrug*#all but the last three songs discussed were written yesterday #5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #mikey #sounds good feels good #sgfg #album ranking

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