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infiniteimaginings · 2 months

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You’re so Pretty (Klaus Baudelaire x GN!Reader)

Summary: With a peaceful and quiet moment of studying with Klaus, you notice some features on him that you admire. So, you tell him. Pronouns: You/Yours Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1.2k A/N: This was requested but Tumblr ate the request </3, this one is short and sweet, in my opinion anyways.

Quiet moments are extremely rare in the Baudelaire children's case ever since their parents died. They were constantly on the run, fighting away from Count Olaf and his group of associates, wondering who they could trust and who they couldn’t.

They finally had some sort of quiet at Prufrock Preparatory School, a gloomy boarding school that they were sent to since there were no other guardians to watch over them. They could ignore the nasty comments from Carmelita, the short and pink covered girl who had made it her mission to make everyone feel inadequate to her. They could ignore them because at this school they at least had multiple people defending them and sticking by their sides. Those people were Duncan Quagmire, Isadora Quagmire, and you.

Isadora and Duncan were currently pretending to be Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire (a sack of flour) for gym class so the two eldest could study, Sunny staying with her siblings. Since there were only three Baudelaire siblings, you went with them to study instead of going with the Quagmires.

Violet had taken Sunny to the library, expressing a need for some English textbooks that were closer to date than the dust covered and ripped pages of the ones she was provided by her teacher earlier that day. Sunny babbled her preference for a change of scenery, something different than the orphan shack they had been shoved into.

Klaus had stayed in the leaky orphan shack, he had all he needed to study. You would have followed Violet to give him a bit of peace but he grasped your wrist gently, asking you to stay so he wouldn’t be alone. You nodded and returned to your seat, asking him a few pop quiz questions to which he answered correctly with no hesitation.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you. Sounds of pages flipping, pencil scribbling on paper, and the occasional shift in the seat had filled the room. Klaus had been muttering a few facts under his breath as he tried to connect them to the almost useless textbook in front of him.

Your gaze had shifted up from your writings, landing on Klaus’s concentrated expression. A small smile grazed your features before you looked back down, eyes flickering up once more then right back down. You hummed a bit, inhaling a quiet breath, “You’re so pretty Klaus.” You spoke into the room, not even looking up to see his reaction.

It was a simple comment, small compliment. You weren’t embarrassed or nervous to say it, the words actually spilled from your lips rather easily. That’s why you just went back to your work, jotting a few notes, skimming the book. Silence had enveloped the two of you once more and you didn’t mind it, it was a simple comment.

You looked back up to see what page Klaus was on and he was looking right at you, your reflection slightly in his glasses. His face was filled with shock? Confusion? A small blush had formed on his face, so wide that it went from his cheek and inflamed his ears. His eyes were slightly wide, the light from the makeshift light source that Violet made was glossing over them. His mouth was only slightly open, he wasn’t gaping like a fish, but he did look like he was trying to find words. All that came out was a quiet, “What?”

You had blinked at him, already forgetting what you had said until it filled your mind once more. You shrugged, “I said you’re pretty.” You repeated, now making eye contact with him, studies long forgotten. He furrowed his brows, putting his pencil down, “What prompted you to say that?” He asked you.

No one had ever called him…pretty before, so it felt foreign for him to hear it. He hadn’t been doing anything that could gain a compliment of such from anyone, nonetheless you.

You thought about it, tilting your head with a twist of your face as you thought. “Nothing necessarily,” You began, now softening your expression, arms crossing to lay on the table in front of you, “I just looked up and wanted to tell you.” You told him simply, shrugging once more. Klaus pursed his lips, deeply sighing, “You think that I'm…”

“Pretty.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You asked with a raised brow, unsure of what to make of the question.

He nodded, hands now messing with his glasses, “Yes, I did ask why.” He spoke, slightly avoiding your gaze.

You puffed air into your cheeks, shifting your arms on the table for a more comfortable position. You chuckled a bit, “Um, well.” You began, not expecting him to ask such a question. You found his gaze once more, his more hesitant than yours. Your eyes were gentle, welcoming, and kind. “Your glasses are big and they frame your face kind of awkwardly,” You observed to which he shifted and adjusted them, “and it's cute when you have to adjust them.” You giggled out when he did just that.

He had realized he had been caught doing exactly what you described, he playfully rolled his eyes, “Okay, I do not-”

“But they make it easier to see the shine in your eyes.” You interrupted him, the comment caused him to look at you surprised. You cleared your throat, “Your eyes are brown but it's like gold is glittered over them.” You explained, your words met with silence so you decided to continue. You took a deep breath, “You have freckles and they’re prominent when you’re focused.” You continued on, eyes unintentionally scanning over his face where his freckles stare back at you. You turned to face him completely instead of it just being your head, biting the inside of your cheek. “When moonlight or sunlight hits you” You spoke quietly, your own eyes shining, “you kind of glow.” You informed him.

You remembered every time the two of you were outside together, how the sun would shine on him, making him look like some sort of scene from a book. When you walked back to the shack at night, the moon high and bright, his skin would glow like it was absorbing the light, an ethereal look he seemed to never notice about himself.

Klaus listened to your words carefully, following every phrase until you were silent, eyes glistening as they looked into his. It was only then he realized you had finished your explanation. He sputtered a bit trying to find words, moving his hands to awkwardly move his glasses and move hair out of his face. He inhaled deeply, exhaling just the same, “Thank you.” He expressed his gratitude to you quietly, reaching his hand out over the table slowly, nervously.

You noticed this action and moved your hand to move to his. He turned his hand so his palm would be upward and you interlock your fingers with his.

The two of you went back to studying, scribbling on paper and turning pages, fingers still interlaced above the table.

Klaus continued to look through his studies before mumbling a small, “You’re pretty too.” He wasn’t sure if you heard it, so he decided to not repeat it due to him being quite flustered from the past few moments. You did hear it, you smiled and held his hand a little tighter, writing down the boring information from the textbook.

Quiet moments are extremely rare in the Baudelaire children's case. Klaus Baudelaire wished to relive this specific peaceful moment everyday, because he didn’t think about anything else other than you. He would like to keep life that way.

#klaus baudelaire #klaus baudelaire x reader #asoue #asoue x reader #a series of unfortunate events x reader #a series of unfortunate events

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agaypanic · 1 year

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can you write a fluffy confession fic w/ a mr poe’s daughter reader x klaus?

like, reader has been going with mr poe to drop the kids off at their new guardians’ houses ever since they stayed the night w/ the poes, and eventually reader stays w/ the kids bc she cant deal with her mom gossiping abt them anymore? they encounter olaf and klaus admits he wants reader to go home so she’ll be safe. reader also is really nice but knows how awful her family is and trusts the baudelaires more than the poes. thank youuu <3

i love how you write and would love to see more! hope you have a wonderful day/night <3

Keep You Safe (Klaus Baudelaire X Poe!Reader)

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Summary: Being sick of her family’s comments about her friends, Y/n Poe decides to stay with the Baudelaire’s when they’re sent to Prufrock Preparatory School. When Count Olaf comes to the school to get to the Baudelaire’s, Klaus becomes concerned about Y/n’s wellbeing.

***

Y/n didn’t know how she pulled it off, but she was able to convince her dad to let her stay at Prufrock Preparatory School with the Baudelaires after the lumber mill incident. Maybe it was because she said she’d keep the Baudelaires out of trouble or because the Poe house was too small for three growing children and their parents. But however it happened, her father, Mr. Poe, let her stay.

Y/n had known the Baudelaires since their parents, unfortunately, passed away in a fire that destroyed their home. Mr. Poe had the Baudelaires stay with his family for a week while he tried finding a guardian for them. Y/n had become friends with them during that time, despite the gossip her mother kept spreading about them. She would accompany the Baudelaires and their father to every guardian they got sent to, making them promise to stay in contact with her so she would know how they were doing. It didn’t feel like a sacrifice of her time; she loved her new friends. It helped that she had a growing crush on Klaus Baudelaire.

But now, they didn’t need to make that promise because they would be staying together. Unfortunately, because the Baudelaires were orphans, they had to stay in a shack because their parents couldn’t sign off on permission for them to stay in a dorm. Y/n didn’t have that problem, but it just made her feel worse. She was staying in a spacious room with three other people while her friends didn’t even have a real bed. She felt even worse after they met the Quigley triplets, two orphan siblings who were also dropped off at Prufrock Prep after being handed from guardian to guardian. But she would push the guilt away whenever she hung out with them, wanting her friends to experience some fun times despite their situation.

But that didn’t last for long.

Unlike her family, Y/n believed the Baudelaires when they would tell stories of Count Olaf constantly following them. The eccentric man was their first guardian and was only removed from guardianship because he tried to marry Violet so he could have access to the Baudelaire fortune. He’s been trying to get his hands on it and them ever since. And it had happened again.

At an assembly, the Baudelaires and Y/n were shocked to see Count Olaf walk up onto the stage in a ridiculous costume, naming himself Coach Genghis, the new PE teacher. And the worst part was that everyone believed him. Even after Klaus and Violet ran up to expose him. Count Olaf had covered up his identifier, a tattoo of an eye on his ankle.

To make matters worse, Count Olaf had another plan to try to get the Baudelaire’s fortune. He made up some lies about how orphans have frail bodies, which leads to paranoia and delusions. To combat this, he developed a program that he would be offering to select students. It didn’t surprise Y/n or the Baudelaires that they were the select students.

This led them to their current predicament. Count Olaf’s running program took place at night, so the Baudelaires had no time to study for their classes, even though they were meaningless. This was causing them to fail their classes, which could later cause them to fail out of school, which would give Count Olaf the opportunity to steal them away.

Luckily, with every problem, there was a solution.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to pull this off?” Y/n asked as she and the Baudelaires walked to their classes. “Count Olaf may be silly and dumb, but he’s not completely stupid.”

“Trust us, Y/n,” Violet said. “It’s worth a shot. Now, I gotta go. I’ll see you guys at lunch.” The eldest Baudelaire sibling then walked away to her classroom. Y/n and Klaus continued their venture to their own class.

“It’ll work, Y/n. Don’t worry.” Klaus reassured her. “Are you sure you want to help Violet and me study for our tests? We’ll likely be up all night; I’d hate for you to lose sleep.” It made Y/n giddy that he cared enough about her sleep schedule.

“Of course, Klaus! I’d do anything to make sure Count Olaf doesn’t get his hands on you and your fortune. And if that means I lose a little sleep, so be it.” Klaus mirrored her bright smile.

“You’re such a good friend, Y/n. I don’t know what we’d do without you.” Y/n’s smile dimmed a bit, but Klaus didn’t notice. She loved being Klaus’ friend, but her heart hurt a bit at the thought of her being nothing more than that to him.

He held the door open for her, and they walked into Mrs. Bass’ classroom to learn about the metric system.

***

The Baudelaires, Quagmires, and Y/n were lucky to find an ally in Olivia Caliban, the school’s librarian. Even though the library would only be open for a few minutes every day, Olivia would allow the students to stay to read or get away from everyone else. This was one of those instances, except they were doing more than just reading.

Their plan was to have Duncan and Isadora, the Quagmire triplets, take the Baudelaires’ places, so they could study for a test to determine whether they would fail out of school.

The Baudelaires were reluctant to the idea. They didn’t want their friends to be put in any of the danger they had to face, and being alone with Count Olaf and his henchmen could be dangerous. But the Quagmires were insistent on helping their new friends.

Using wire and stringy trim from a lampshade, they made disguises for the Quagmires that could pass them off as the Baudelaires in the dark.

“How do I look?” Isadora asked Y/n and Klaus as she secured the fake fringe to her forehead.

“Convincing.” Y/n smiled, going back to helping Sunny use her teeth to shape spare wire into a pair of fake glasses for Duncan.

“Different,” Klaus said. “I mean, not a bad different. That’s not what I meant; you look very nice. Just, different.” Y/n tried not to show confusion on her face. Why did Klaus suddenly not know how to talk to Isadora?

“Thanks.”

Soon, the Quagmires were ready to impersonate their friends. Since they didn’t have a smaller sibling to replace Sunny, the group decided to put a bag of flour in a small wagon. The Quagmires would pull the wagon behind them as they ran around the track.

“Good luck.” The Baudelaires and Y/n said to the Quagmires. In thanks, Isadora leaned forward and kissed Klaus’ cheek. They shared a look before Isadora moved to leave, Duncan and the bag of flour behind her. Klaus stood in his spot momentarily, seemingly not knowing what to do.

“Well.” Violet broke the silence. “We better get going.” She picked up Sunny and went to the library doors, waiting for Y/n and Klaus.

“What’s wrong?” She asked him. Her voice seemed to shake him from whatever trance he was in.

“Nothing.” Klaus grabbed Y/n’s hand and made his way over to his sisters. “Let’s go.”

***

They had been studying for three hours when Sunny and Violet dozed off. Klaus and Y/n knew they should wake them up so they could keep studying, but they also knew that trying to retain information with no energy wouldn’t help them. So Klaus and Y/n kept studying on their own.

“How long was the banana?” Y/n quizzed Klaus. He was doing very well, getting all of the questions right. But he was starting to be less quick with his responses, which concerned Y/n. “Klaus?”

“Ten centimeters?”

“That would be a short banana.” Y/n tried to laugh to cover up her increasing concern for Klaus. She put down the flashcards she had made for him. “Klaus, are you okay?”

“I’m fine; why do you ask?”

“You’re becoming less responsive. If you’re tired, you can take a nap, and I can wake you up later so you can keep studying.”

“No, it’s not that.” Klaus patted her hand. “Thank you, though.”

“Then what is it?” Y/n tried racking her brain for an explanation for his behavior. “Are you worried about Isadora?”

“What?” Klaus sat up from his slouching position. “Why Isadora specifically?”

Y/n shrugged, fumbling with the flashcards as she tried to find an answer that wouldn’t make her come across as jealous.

“I don’t know. I mean, she’s running around in the dark, being watched by Count Olaf. Doesn’t that worry you?”

“I’m more worried about her and Duncan together, not just her specifically.”

“Right.” Y/n shook her head, trying to escape the thought of Klaus and Isadora. “Sorry, it’s just that it kind of seemed like there was something more there.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I mean, she kissed your cheek. That must’ve meant something, right?”

Klaus was silent, trying to think of a response. Y/n regretted saying anything about it. She should’ve just pushed for him to fall asleep; it would be better than having this conversation with him right now.

“Never mind.” She said, picking out a new flash card. “What was the length of the-”

“It would’ve meant more coming from you.” Klaus cut Y/n off, looking at her sheepishly.

“What?”

“That kiss would’ve meant more to me if it had come from you.” He picked at the hay bale that the two were sitting on. “No offense to Isadora, but it’s the truth.”

It was now Y/n’s turn to find a response. It didn’t take too long.

“I can, if you’d like.” She looked at Klaus. “Give you a kiss, that is.”

“I, uh, I’d like that.” Y/n dropped the flashcards onto the hay and leaned forward. She was going for Klaus’ cheek, but in a split-second moment of bravery, she kissed him on the lips instead. It was just a peck, but Klaus didn’t seem to mind. There was a moment of silence where the two just looked at each other, heat evident on their cheeks.

“After our tests, and when Count Olaf is revealed for who he truly is, I want you to go home,” Klaus said matter of factly.

“What?” Y/n was taken aback by the confession. He took her hands.

“Y/n, I care about you too much to let you get wrapped up in this mess. Count Olaf is a murderer; he’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants. I can’t let him get to you.” He squeezed Y/n’s hands. “Promise me, Y/n.”

“But what if I never see you again?”

“We’ll meet again; I’ll make sure of it. But until Count Olaf is defeated once and for all, I need to know that you’re safe. Please, Y/n, promise me.”

Y/n was reluctant. She didn’t want to leave her friends or Klaus alone at the hands of Count Olaf. But Klaus was being persistent.

“Only if you promise that we’ll see each other again.” He nodded in understanding.

“I promise.”

“Then I promise.”

They sealed the promise with another kiss. They spent the rest of the night studying some more, not wanting to think about the future too much. The two hoped that when Y/n went home, they would see each other sooner rather than later.

#klaus baudelaire #klaus baudelaire x reader #asoue x reader #asoue #a series of unfortunate events x reader #a series of unfortunate events #agaypanic

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luluwquidprocrow · 5 months

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sometimes a family is three orphans, their adopted daughter, one not-so-sad writer, and two triplets

frank, beatrice the second, the baudelaires, lemony, ernest, implied ernest/lemony

gen

3,598 words

In the grand tradition of all parents, the extended baudelaire family find themselves trying to pull a fast one.

for @asouefanworkevent's woevember day 4, the hotel denouement! some rambling headcanon nonsense half-fic about post-canon family that i had great fun doing. my favorite thing in the whole world is post-canon babybea interacting with her absurd enormous family. i love them all so much.

okay. so bear with me here

so i think most parents/guardians are at one point or another faced with Pulling The Ultimate Fast One on their children. this is related to Your Beloved Pet Died But We’re Telling You We Sent Them To Live On The Farm, but this version, in particular, is infinitely easier and harder. this one is The Switch. The Replacement. The Double. when the intrepid parent or guardian, under the cover of night, goes to the pet store to purchase The Exact Same Animal because the first animal had an untimely death. i will admit, this is the easiest with like, a goldfish, or something else small where you can usually get one that looks very similar.

now, for babybea, it’s a pumpkin.

so babybea (who is twelve at the time this story takes place), at the very end of september, carves a pumpkin, and she goes in with a VISION. she spends a couple hours on this pumpkin, carving an owl. It’s not, yknow, a realistic owl, but she adds a lot of tiny details, lots of lines for the feathers, and she carves a little mouse on the side too, and even gets the side of a tree in there, and the pumpkin carving kit the baudelaires purchased that year came with these little stick lights, to put in the owl eyes after carving, so it has orange eyes!! this is!!!! The neatest thing babybea has ever seen, and she is so thrilled with the results and very proud of this pumpkin. (for the record – violet carves a few pumpkins into a starry night with a moon, klaus carves monstera leaves, and. let’s be real. sunny bites a series of turnips into jack-o-lanterns.) (and then she stabs a couple white pumpkins into bigger jack-o-lanterns, for variety. all of them get different expressions!

sunny, arranging her carved vegetation on the baudelaire porch in order of emotion: perfect.) (no, i don’t know what order of emotion means. But sunny does.)

Then they all pile into violet’s car – pumpkin included!! – and drive almost an hour out of the city to the bildungsroman bed and breakfast. (frank and ernest decided, at this point in their lives, if they were going to commit to anything, it may as well be The Bit.) (it has a local reputation as a place with solid wifi, stellar bread, and great mattresses. The owners are considered minorly eccentric, mostly for the portrait they have in the lobby, of, just one of them.

some impassioned yelp review: okay so the stay was great big recommend PLEASE try the bread but i cannot figure out the story behind the portrait in the lobby????? it's just one one of the owners?????? but I don't understand why bc they're twins and it's just ONE of them?????? and he's wearing this frog-patterned tie in the painting and when you see them like in person. neither of them wear the tie. what's the deal here

the locals are sure it's not an ego thing, bc the owners don't seem to be self-centered or anything like that. In fact, if asked about the painting, both of them will say, “oh, that's a painting of my brother.”

an additional yelp comment: I think. there's THREE of them a third yelp comment: don't be silly, they're definitely twins.)

frank and ernest have a very elaborate series of outdoor autumn decorations, with lots of pumpkins and mini gourds and hay bales over the front steps and corn stalks on all the porch posts, and babybea wants to not only show her uncles her hard work, but also put the pumpkin on their steps where everyone can see it!!

(her uncles also include lemony, of course – I think he did live with the baudelaires for some time after reuniting babybea with them, but has recently moved into ernest's side of the private apartment at the back of the hotel. this was mildly distressing to babybea, who likes everyone she loves under the same roof, but she can't deny that lemony is very happy. and so is ernest. and now she can see all her uncles in the same place whenever she wants!! so the baudelaires tend to spend weekends at the bed and breakfast, because they also miss lemony. and they get to know frank and ernest better, which is very important to them, as people who are important to babybea, and to lemony, and, to the baudelaire's past.) (not to like, detract from the sentiment here, but i do need everyone to know that i imagine ernest spends like, 80% of his working hours just making out with lemony.) (okay maybe not 80%. ernest does legitimately get work done, it’s his hotel too. ………but like, a lot of time.)

AND SO. the baudelaires arrive at the bed and breakfast, and frank and ernest and lemony are very proud of their niece's pumpkin. they take a lot of pictures. (re: my previous post-canon thoughts, frank has actually acquired a phone now, and does text. it is a flip phone.) babybea places it, very gently, on the third front step, and is so pleased. sunny steals two mini gourds while looking ernest dead in the eye. ernest approves.

But october turns out to be unseasonably warm, and babybea’s pumpkin, while lovingly carved but now lacking the support an uncarved pumpkin has to keep itself A Pumpkin, does not take kindly to the weather, and babybea actually becomes very distressed at the smallest signs of rot beginning to form in her pumpkin, when it is only the second week of october. She doesn’t TELL anybody, because there’s not really much you can do about a pumpkin doing what a pumpkin does in warm weather, but she’s very upset. (almost uncharacteristically so. usually she’d say, oh, well that’s how it happens, and rather pleasantly move on, but lately, she’s been kind of. quieter than usual.) And frank, who spends a great deal of time at the front desk, closest to the pumpkins, becomes Concerned.

now, in general, babybea’s family is like, pretty good at being realistic with her. She is of course an optimist, but still Aware of a great deal of the ways of the world, given her family, her upbringing, lemony’s books, her own adventures, everything. You can’t really shield this twelve year old from the ways of the world, even if that way of the world is, a rotting vegetable. All things have their time, and it cannot be stopped. Including seasons, and in-season foods.

However. She put SO MUCH WORK into that pumpkin, and as the week goes by and the pumpkin starts to shrink in on itself, turning all of babybea’s work black from the inside out, those charming little glowstick eyes CAVING IN, and the baudelaire’s weekly weekend visit grows closer and closer, frank has been imagining her devastated reaction when she sees the pumpkin, and decides, He Must Pull The Fast One. he will re-carve the pumpkin, exactly as babybea carved it, replace the pumpkin, and no one will be the wiser. They get a little more time with the pumpkin, presumably at least until halloween, and his niece gets to see her beautiful handiwork as much as she likes. Maybe, you know, there is a little magic in the world after all, to make a pumpkin look so nice.

(also, i think frank has. A shaky relationship with babybea, from his end. She loves him, as much as she loves everyone else in her family, and babybea herself would NEVER rank her uncles in order of how well she knows or admires them, but i, lulu vandelay, putting this together, have no qualms in saying she knows lemony the best, bc she has spent the most time with him, between trying to find him and both of them trying to find the baudelaires and all of them having lived together, and she’s rather deeply attached to him – ernest is very personable, and funny, so he’s easy to get along with – and she and frank both like tiny detail work, so they have things in common, but frank always seems very awkward around her. And he is. It’s bc he’s very nervous around her. Frank doesn’t think he’s good with kids. And he is usually acutely aware that in an ideal world, he isn’t the one she’d be spending her time with, that dewey would be so much better at all of this than he is. A better parent, a better brother, a better everything. Because dewey always was, to frank. but, dewey would probably want frank to do as much as he could for her, and would believe him absolutely capable of doing it, without a doubt. So he wants to be a proper uncle to her and THIS is his opportunity, he thinks. He so desperately wants to do something kind and considerate and important for her, like family is supposed to do for each other.)

the thing about pumpkins, though, is that, for some reason, mid-october, THEY ALL DISAPPEAR. I’m serious, you ever try and find a good pumpkin even like a little over halfway through october? It can be hard.

frank: i need your assistance. ernest: i’ve killed my quota for the month. frank: i – ernest, please. ernest: alright, my apologies. What do you need? frank: a pumpkin. lemony, from the kitchen: jarrahdale or red warty? frank: no, i mean a carving pumpkin.

The three of them take a good, long look at babybea’s pumpkin. Uncle Instincts Have Activated. They, very solemnly, bury the pumpkin in the back garden (lemony is the one who takes one for the team and removes the glowstick eyes from the depths of sad, sad pumpkin). And then embark on a mission. Please imagine the three of them packed into a mint green 1960 chevy corvette. Sunglasses optional. Who’s driving? That is up to you, my friend. Oh, google informs me it is cascade green. Imagine accordingly. (yes, no corvette has ever been made with more than two seats, but isn’t that just funnier? They really are packed in there. Lemony sits in the middle.)

The hunt for the right pumpkin is long. Grueling! Kinda chilly! This is october!! Much comparison is made between potential pumpkins and the pictures they took of babybea’s pumpkin. Snacks are purchased. (lemony, who has recently been introduced to instagram, posts a picture of his pretzel. [ernest is out of focus in the corner, eating a chocolate ice cream cone.] [#pretzel.]

sunbad: what is that lemonysnicket: I have purchased a pretzel sunbad: without me sunbad: you’re dead to me.)

(it was actually not sunny who introduced lemony to instagram, although she was his first follower. It was klaus.) (klaus uses instagram mainly to never post anything ever, just to follow his favorite authors, so he wanted lemony to have an instagram, especially since he just moved out.) (klaus……..my heart………..) (oh, frank bought chex mix. he likes those gross rye bread pieces.)

(don’t get me started on lemony with an instagram……….I think this is a hilarious but also heartwarming thought – this man who has avoided being photographed for years and years and years and YEARS (yes that much repetition was in fact necessary) is at a point in his life here he is not only comfortable of taking pictures of his life, but he is capable of doing it, he’s allowed!! It’s still probably mostly food and it’s so good!!!!!!!! and think of the amount of pictures he keeps just in his phone gallery, too!!! violet’s inventions and klaus’ library displays and sunny’s baking and babybea’s school projects and ernest’s record collection and frank’s breakfast spreads, and nature shots with lemony’s thumb in the corner, AAAAAAAAAAAA) (uh, anyway, these men are on a mission. back to the mission.)

Eventually, they do find a comparable replacement pumpkin! Does it fit in the car? Lemony, by virtue of sitting in the middle, holds the pumpkin.

They return to the bed and breakfast. Between the three of them, many different knives, and all of their photos, frank and ernest and lemony painstakingly recreate babybea’s pumpkin, down to the last, smallest detail. Including the little mouse and the side of the tree and the feathers and everything. (frank does do most of the work, because ernest and lemony very much see that this is important to him, but he doesn’t mind them helping, because, yknow. This is about family, and babybea is their family too.) (frank feels like he owes lemony a lot. for trying to set the record straight about their past. or as straight as one could try and set it, with what all of them did. for their niece. for making ernest happy.) (ernest deserves to be happy, with everything they put each other through. ernest thinks the same for frank, too.)

(ugggggg if you told the three of them when they were so much younger that one day they’d stay up late recreating their niece’s perfect pumpkin masterpiece so she’s not upset about the passage of time………..)

(who’s in charge of the bed and breakfast while all of this is happening??

ernest: mallory, you’re in charge. mallory, a twenty-two year old with a major in hotel management who runs the front desk when ernest and frank can’t: sounds like a plan.

mallory has a deep respect for the denouements. meanwhile –

mallory: so you’re lemony snicket. lemony: i am, yes. mallory: you don’t look like your photo. lemony: that’s my legal representative. he has a stamp.)

meanwhile meanwhile – it is not necessarily about the pumpkin.

For babybea’s part, she already firmly believes that there is some sort of magic in the world. Even at twelve. Especially at twelve!! Look, she knows it wasn’t magic that reunited her with her family, that it was her and lemony’s hard work, but she wound up with SO much more family than she expected, when she first contacted lemony. And like, that is what there’s magic in. this whole group of people who care about her and love her and want to spend time with her. Babybea thinks she has the best family in the whole entire world. (AND SHE’S RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!)

But that is also babybea’s problem right now. She loves her family so much, and she loves having them, and it’s been a couple months but she is still not entirely comfortable with people she loves being so far away from her. Not now! Not when they’re all supposed to be in the same space, like they’re supposed to be!! And some kids at school have teased her, not so much about her puzzle-piece family but that she talks about her uncles so much. She’s just proud of her family and she loves them!! But middle schoolers are like, rude as fuck sometimes, okay. And they don’t even think they’re saying anything wrong, just offhand comments about how much she talks about them. They don’t even know anything about her parents, not really, but babybea starts to feel like, it’s the unspoken throughline in what they’re saying, why doesn’t she ever talk about them? Why only her uncles, her guardians? They’re her family, but –

she feels almost guilty, that she goes through periods where she doesn’t even think of her parents at all, and periods where she can’t stop thinking about what they would look like and what they would be like, and that makes her feel like she doesn’t value the family she DOES have. So it’s not necessarily about the pumpkin starting to rot, what’s making her upset. It’s that, the pumpkin is another thing in a line of things babybea is Thinking about, things that aren’t Going the way she thought they were supposed to go. Her uncle moving out, missing somebody who was supposed to be there, her pumpkin not staying like it’s supposed to, she’s SUPPOSED to love her family but is she loving them right? Is she loving the right people right? Can you miss people you didn’t even know? And babybea has it very set in her head, the things she knows and is supposed to do – this is something she hasn’t quite worked on, but she’ll get to it eventually, she is still twelve – and they keep not happening like that. And now. Something else she worked really, really, really hard on, that isn’t going right either.

So she spends the week a little gloomy about her pumpkin, and worrying the whole ride friday afternoon after school to the bildungsroman bed and breakfast. Violet and klaus and sunny are very aware of babybea’s mood, and try to cheer her up by asking her about what she’ll be for halloween, but babybea’s heart is not super into this conversation. (she has ideas about a big group costume where they’re all different local birds, but now she’s not even sure about that.)

And then! She sees her pumpkin!! Glowy eyes and all!!!!! And, mysteriously, those little spots of rot she’d noticed the week before are gone, and, in fact, it looks a little sharper than it had before? And she didn’t think she’d cut the lid quite like that, but! That’s her pumpkin, exactly where it’s supposed to be!!! And it makes her feel just a little better. That’s good. That’s right. But she still can’t, entirely shake off all her previous feelings, about family. But. right now. Her pumpkin still looks very special.

Later, babybea can’t sleep. So she sneaks out of bed and goes down to the lobby, and sits down on the floor in front of the front desk, and looks at the big painting on the wall, that ernest did of her father.

This, of course, is where frank finds her. (because frank has never been very good at sleeping consistently, even when there’s nothing to worry about now, and he likes to walk through the hotel to make sure it’s secure.)

(ernest would say something very clever, like, aha, with a raised eyebrow, but all frank says is – )

frank: hello, beatrice. beatrice: oh! beatrice: hello, uncle frank. frank: may i sit down? beatrice: yes, please.

They spend a little while looking at the portrait.

beatrice: um – beatrice: does it –

What she wants to ask is, does it look very much like my father, which she then realizes is such a STUPID question if her father was a TRIPLET and she has a mirror image of him right in front of her, who acts like she thinks a father is supposed to act, so, but, it’s not like that doesn’t mean dewey didn’t look like dewey. Just because dewey looked like frank doesn’t mean he only looked like frank. And beatrice forgets, sometimes, that he would’ve just looked just like her uncles. But still!

beatrice: i mean – the painting, is it –

But she thinks it’s such a terrible thing to ask!! But frank knows EXACTLY what she means.

(some time ago, when the hotel had just opened and ernest had just painted the portrait of dewey –

ernest: i wanted it to look like him. And, it’s not like i, don’t know what he looks like. Looked like. I mean – that could just be me or you up there, couldn’t it. It doesn’t look like it’s him. frank: no, it does. frank, knowing exactly what he means and feeling like, he needs to make ernest Not look so abjectly miserable: you don’t look nearly as happy. ernest, in tears, very amused and touched and still terribly upset: wow!

The point being, god of course it looks like dewey. It couldn’t be anybody but dewey, even if dewey looks like other people. Dewey looks like himself, he looks like his family, he looks like beatrice, around the eyes. And family means lots of things. It means your guardians raising you, and your uncles raising you, and your father’s portrait on the wall and never knowing him at all, and loving so many people and being loved back by them, whether or not it’s Supposed to be a specific way, and sometimes it means missing somebody, sometimes it means missing different people, sometimes it means being sad for something you’re not sure if you should or could miss, sometimes it means not missing anyone at all, sometimes it means your uncle going to live with his definitely boyfriend even if they won’t say the words out loud who’s also your uncle just on the other side of your family and that doesn’t mean anyone’s going anywhere. Sometimes it means your pumpkin rotting, because things change. uh, does this make sense.) (admittedly, i put a lot of things in this.)

frank: yes, it looks very much like him. frank: i think about him a lot. beatrice: ......would he like my pumpkin? frank, without hesitation: absolutely. beatrice: do you like it? frank: i do.

of course babybea already knew that, but it's nice to hear. it's just. nice. it's not, like, everything? just like before. but beatrice is loved by a lot of people, and she loves them, too, and. she feels loved, right here, like she's supposed to, and that's what's Supposed to happen.

beatrice hugs him, and it's not the first time she's hugged frank, but it means more? frank hugs her back.

beatrice: thanks for fixing my pumpkin. frank: i’m sure i don’t know what you mean, beatrice.

beatrice hugs him again, and then goes back upstairs. frank looks a little longer at the portrait, and then goes to bed himself, and doesn't get back up until his alarm goes off.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #woevember #tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...................#you know what. for as much as i Did In Fact jam in here. bc my thoughts get away from me. i DO think i wrapped it up rather nicely.#the capitals are inconsistent bc i wrote this in googledocs and it just wants to capitalize EVERYTHING. AGAINST MY WILL #i am as stunned as you are that this is frank-centric. but sometimes the words happen.#if you were wondering. yes my parents did in fact Pull This Fast One on me. with. yes. fish.

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just-an-enby-lemon · 1 year

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Going into the Bruce Wayne adopts a random fictional orphan famous AUs: Bruce Wayne becames the legal guardian of the Baudelaire childrem. Now Count Olaf can try to murder trick and steal TWO whole fortunes.

Imagine Klaus in the Wayne Massion library and discussing books with Jason and having conversations over feeling missplaced and not yet belonging to the Waynes even tho he fits with Duke and bonding with Barbara over her time as a librarian

Violet helping Lucius Fox invent equipament for Batman and bonding with Dick over their shared eldest daugther sindrome and working in the cars with Jason and Bruce and bomding with Tim because Tim totaly would not fall for Olaf's bs.

Sunny cooking with Alfred and being a menance with Damian and learning to talk with Cassandra and Bruce finally having the toddler experience and being besties with Stephanie who will see sassy powerfull baby and become automatically the cool older sister.

All while Count Olaf and Esme Squalor bond with the Rogues Gallery. And even fied with some of them.

Olaf discussing arson with Firefly and trying to outdrama Riddler and bounding with Deadstroke over the fact everyone forgets about their weird comentaries involving a fourteen years old.

Esme exanching date advices with Harley and doing make-up with Joker and bullying Jonathan because he dresses like a poor person.

All while Lemony(the only person that can maybe take Bruce's place over being the most paranoic human being ever) fails in finally meeting the Baudelaires because he keeps getting lost in Gotham because he is a trouble magnet and everything there is trouble.

Also Alfred sassing Mr. Poe. Everyone's dream.

For my personal preferences let Batman take the place of the Vilage of Fowl Devotees: that would mean that we still have Duncan and Isadora, we already have Esme and Jacques may not die. Absolute perfection.

#batman #asoue #bruce wayne #the baudelaire orphans #klaus baudelaire #violet baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #count olaf #esme squalor #lemony snicket #batfam #batkids #batman rogues gallery #no but bruce the world greatest detective looking at one of olaf's disguises and being yeah totaly not count olaf is objectivally funny #on the reverse count olaf sees matches malone and has no idea that is bruce wayne but he somehow knows that bruce is batman #I am batman says bruce #and the baudelaires are super relieved because he is not part of any cult nor working for count olaf #they are already very traumatized wich makes them perfect for batkids candidacy #srlys how is batman adopting the baudelaires not a famous au yet #they are traumatized orphans with no powers but an amazing super human skill set they are right up his alley #and he is a secretive weird and emo jewish dad who has an ongoning theme and runs strong with it wich is also very up the baudelaires area

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unfortunatetheorist · 6 months

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*Joint Theory 4: @unfortunatetheorist with @snicketstrange* :

Liar, Liar? Quag's on Fire? - (BCT & NCT)

We're back! This time, to discuss the apparent contradiction surrounding the Quagmire fire:

How did Duncan and Isadora get out of the Orphans Shack if their parents were already dead when they got there?

But perhaps, more importantly, When did the Quagmire fire occur?

Well, there are some key excerpts that further our understanding:

The letter to the editor found in TAA indicates that the Baudelaires stayed a half-term (half-semester) at Prufrock-Prep.

According to Nero, for a child to live in the good apartments of Prufrock-Prep, a signature from a parent or guardian would be required. It could not be Mr. Poe, who was in charge of their inheritance.

TAA - Chapter 3: "My sister and I went through the experience of a terrible fire, and we know what it's like. Did your father die in the fire?" "Our parents also died in a fire. It's horrible to miss your parents, isn't it?" "For a long time," Duncan confessed, "I was afraid of any kind of fire. I didn't even like to look at heaters or fireplaces." "Duncan and I had to live there for three terms because we needed a father or mother or a guardian to sign our authorization pass, and we had no one."

According to Quigley's account in TSS, the fire occurred after the events in TRR.

Brett Helquist's Letter to Lemony from Ch 11 of LSTUA:

Note: There was a Quagmire case that Lemony Snicket was accused of being involved in that PRECEDED the Baudelaire mansion fire. (Mr. Helquist arrived at the mansion while it was still on fire, and made the drawing that can be found in TBB).

Quigley's speech from Ch 8 of TSS:

You can verify that the Quagmire fire, according to Quigley, happened after the events described in TRR, that is, after the Baudelaire mansion was destroyed.

And all the main events described from TBB until Ch 13 of The End, take place within a MAXIMUM of 1 year. We know this because Violet and Klaus start the story at 14 and 12 years old, respectively, and have birthdays during the story: Klaus in TVV and Violet in TGG, and when they arrive on the island they are 15 and 13 years old respectively.

Actually, this is something the showrunners of the Netflix series picked up on - and SOLVED:

THEORY: The Quagmire parents faked their deaths. This means the children would've been sent to the Orphans' Shack before the revelation of Mr & Mrs Quagmire being alive allowed Isadora and Duncan to live in the apartment section of Prufrock Prep - they would've been alive to sign the necessary paperwork, and thus get out of the Shack. Then they died for REAL, meaning that the two triplets went back to Prufrock, but they STAYED at the dormitory because the papers had already been signed.

Netflix clears a lot of it up [hence 'BCT & NCT'], answering the questions we posed earlier:

Q: How did Duncan and Isadora get out of the Orphans Shack if their parents were already dead when they got there?

A: They were sent to the Orphans' Shack during the time when their parents' deaths were faked. The problem was that they didn't have someone to sign the paperwork. The Orphans' Shack is a temporary location until the parents can sign the paperwork. They only managed to get out of there, because their parents weren't really dead, and they signed the papers. When their parents actually died, they had already signed the papers.

Q: When did the Quagmire fire occur?

A: As Netflix states it, during the events of TMM.

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph & @snicketstrange,

Unfortunate Theorists/Snicketologists

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mashpotatoequeen · 7 months

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can you make a crossover fic with asoue? like where the baudelaires go to live with mr benedict

also constance and sunny would be besties

Okay-

I don't think I have it in me to write a fill asoue and tmbs crossover, especially cause I know for a fact that a couple of very talented people have already written some truly lovely fics for this exact cocept, but this prompt is definitely making Me Think.

Cause like. You have have this trio of kids. Maybe even six kids, if the triplets are with them, and they are tired. They are traumatised. They have been through one ordeal after another and they are so disillusioned that they're holding onto eachother with nails dug in tight. They're a script that has been written into the marrow of their bones and the Baudelaires have accepted that their lives are tragic ones. No one is gonna be there for them but themselves, their books and their smarts and their teeth.

And then they show up at Mr. Benedict's house.

And the Benedicts are an eclectic and odd bunch. There are so many of them, and between the lot of them its so easy to find people who love books and create machines and make excellent food. I can see Klaus's fingers twitching in anticipation to read a new book as soon as Reynie has finished it, and Violet making little mechanical contraptions for Kate's bucket, and Sunny sitting in the kitchen with Moocho all quite happily.

But that's gonna come later. Cause they're tired, and they're wary. And they've had guardians who were kind and clever and good before. And they died, quite horribly, and it just seems safer to not get too attached.

I think it's going to make a difference, the fact that The Mysterious Benedict Society kids are there and they clearly trust these adults. That, or the Baudelaires (and Quagmires, if they're there too), are gonna watch them with a bit of jealousy and longing fostered into their chests until they eventually realise all that love is waiting for them, too.

(I can see them making a quiet pack among themselves, these unfortunate orphans, to run away before harm befalls these grown ups and ruins the lives of more kids. They wouldn't wish this existence on anyone.)

If I'm honest, though. If I'm really honest. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of an ASOUE and TMBS crossover is one Number Two.

Number Two, who is peculiar and never sleeps and is incredibly talented and who was never listened to growing up.

Maybe Number Two had her own adventures with VFD. Her own unfortunate childhood where she was thrown into a world of grown ups all trying to get the upper hand, where no one was really good or evil and justice was not wrought. Maybe she dreams of her own snakes, and her own fires, and a bad beginning that steamrolled into a malady of a middle and then an erroneous ending.

Like. I can just see it, in my mind. Number Two's justified rage on their behalf, the way she can look at them as a grown up who made it through a childhood of being ignored, and can empathize. She knows how ugly it can feel, to be that desperate and that clever and that lonesome when all the adults in your life who should have been there to help you just fail you abjectly. The way she would tell them never again and mean it fullheartedly.

(The way she can tell them, hey, you'll get through this, and it won't erase all the hurt and the pain but you'll get to be okay anyway, and mean it.)

It's a family who loves Truth. Who holds it as an ideal close to their chests. I think that these unfortunate orphans could use some of that.

(I want Olaf to go to jail, in this AU. I want him to come to the door cleverly disguised, and I want Number Two to smartly, with no hesitation, punch him in his smug face. I want Milligan to come in with his cuffs and his agent connections, and I want Olaf taken away. I want the Baudelaires to never have to see him again, for him to be a sad pitiful man in a cell who never gets the fame and fortune he so desperately desired to fill up that empty hole in his chest with.)

The Bauldalaires make Pasta Puttanesca, a few months in. Mr. Benedict takes them shopping for ingredients- they take a couple of detours to get books and invention supplies, but that's only to be expected. Rhonda offers some tips and tricks that she's picked up over the years with Violet while carefully chopping the onions, and Sticky excitedly chatters with Klaus about a newly published research paper from one of their favourite authors. Constance and Sunny - who are best friends, and appreciate the other's intelligence- happily discuss favourite foods and peculiarities of being young.

The whole family raves over it, delighting at the handmade pasta and complimenting the sauce. Miss Perumal, Moocho, and the Washingtons take care of the after dinner clean up. The kids are shooed upstairs, laughing and talking over one another and stumbling slightly into eachother's space in the narrow halls. None of them mind, not really.

They have they're whole lives ahead of them, after all. It's going to be okay.

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emmettverhoogen · 2 months

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esmé disguising as officer luciana was such a solid proof she was capable of acting. she threw dust on the orphan's eyes the whole book, and even when olaf came up as a detective they weren't suspecting that bossy, red lipsticked woman to be the previous guardian who ran away with olaf at the end of the auction

i mean, the baudelaires only found out about esmé's disguise because she took off her helmet in front of them

#esmé squalor #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #the vile village #count olaf #the baudelaires #i can see esmé being a convincingly good method actress #but she gave up bc of beatrice everything and the financial sector pays much more for what she wants #officer luciana

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ursecretadmirer0610 · 2 years

Text

The Bad Beginning

To Lillian,

Dearest, Darling, Dead

……………………………………………………………………….

“Orphan!” Count Olaf’s voice rang out in the dark dingy room startling Eleanor awake. She sat up quickly, causing the rickety old bed to screech. “We will being having company today,” he snarled, “don’t worry about your chores.” He slammed the door behind him.

Ellie sat there perplexed. Guests always meant Count Olaf’s theater troop and that always meant more chores. In fact she couldn’t remember the last day she hadn’t done chores. Even though she was happy to have the day off.

……………………………………………………………………….

“I’m from Mulctuary Money Management.” A familiar voice rang out from the entryway. It was Mr. Poe the idiotic banker that had placed Eleanor with Count Olaf in the first place. With him were three children. The oldest, a girl, was holding a baby who couldn’t be much older than one. Next to them stood a boy around Eleanor’s age who made eye contact with her and smiled. Ellie smiled back and blushed.

“Money sounds familiar,” Count Olaf said. Eleanor rolled her eyes. She had long ago figured out that Count Olaf only kept her around because of her mother’s family vineyard whose profits would go to Ellie once she came of age.

Flustered by the awkward situation, Mr. Poe directed his attention to Ellie. “Hello Eleanor! How are you doing?”

“I’m well Mr. Poe, how are you?” She replied knowing that any other answer given in front of Count Olaff would result in an ugly sight later.

Before he had time to answer Count Olaf butted in, “Well do I need to sign for them or something?”

“Of course not,” Mr. Poe looked baffled at such a question.

“Well then as we say in the theater,” Count Olaf growled, “exit stage right.”

Mr Poe said a hurried goodbye to the children, telling them to visit him at the bank should they need anything. Ellie scoffed at that. She had visited Mr. Poe only once and nothing good had come of that other than a lecture from Mr. Poe and much worse from Olaf.

The second the door shut Olaf shifted from the false excitement he had shown for Mr. Poe disappeared. “Well children,” he said, “aren’t you going to say how do you do to you’re new guardian?”

“How do you do?” the oldest girl said nervously.

Count Olaf let out a chilling laugh. ”How do I do? Better and Better Baudelaires.”

After the scary experience with Count Olaf, Eleanor began to give the Baudelaires a tour of the house as well as a brief overview of the chores that went with each room. As the Baudelaires eyes grew wider and wider Ellie began to remember that life with Olaf wasn’t normal.

“How rude we’ve been,” the oldest Baudelaire child said, “We haven’t introduced ourselves, I’m Violet and this is my brother Klaus and this is our little sister Sunny.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ellie smiled, “I’m Eleanor Snicket.” They finally reached the top of the steep, rickety staircase. “This is our room,” Ellie said, her tone slightly apologetic.”

“There is only one bed,” Klaus pointed out. Before Eleanor could respond Count Olaf threw the door open.

“Do you know what this is,” he said dramatically in place of a hello. He was holding up a dirty piece of paper that all four children quickly recognized as a list.

“A list?” Klaus said.

“Wrong! It’s a list. A list of chores. The freak can help you get used to it,” Olaf said, raising his voice. Ellie gave them a sad smile.

………………………………………………………………………

“He’s terrible!” Klaus exclaimed, “did you see the tattoo on his ankle?”

“A tattoo isn’t a sign of a wicked person,” Violet tried to reason, “it’s just a pigment on skin.”

“Not if its on a wicked person,” Eleanor spoke up.

“I never want to see a toothbrush again,” Klaus lamented. Although the chores were tedious Eleanor had to admit that it was easier with company. And what great company the Baudelaire‘s were. Violet and Ellie quickly bonded over being creative people and her and Klaus both shared a passion for reading. Sunny immediately took a liking to her, nibbling on the buttons on her dress.

“Why aren’t you cleaning?” Count Olaf yelled, barging into the room.

“We finished,” Ellie said.

“No you didn’t,” Olaf argued like a small child.

“Yes we did,” Klaus sighed exasperatedly, “we even washed your underwear.

Count Olaf scrambled to grab a pen from his pocket and add an item to their list. “You missed one,” He said. Klaus and Ellie exchanged annoyed looks behind his back. “You still have to prepare a large meal for my theater troupe.”

“We don’t know how to prepare a large meal.” Violet said angrily.

“Plan the meal, purchase the ingredients, prepare the food, set the table, serve dinner, clean up afterwards and stay out of our way,” Olaf listed off.

“How will we purchase anything if we don’t have any money?” Klaus pointed out.

Olaf tossed a bag of coins to Violet. “Do you know what this is?” He said.

“Something greasy,” she said sassily.

“Money,” he said, ignoring her attitude, “Hard-earned money. The most important substance on earth besides applause and lip balm. Since the bossy banker won't let us use any of your parents' enormous fortune, I am now forced to cough up my own earnings from theatrical performances and the occasional bit of consulting work. Now... quick. Get a move on. The troupe will be here at 7:00. And in the meantime, I will be up in... can you guess?

“Your secret tower room,” Klaus said, obvious annoyance in his tone.

“WRONG! My secret tower room. Which you are forbidden to go into. Understood? Forbidden!” He yelled. All of the children nodded. As he stormed out Sunny babbled something that vaugly translated into “That was dismaying.”

“How are we supposed to make dinner for an entire theater troupe,” Klaus said, sounding overwhelmed.

Ellie put a comforting hand on his shoulder.“We can start with recipe,” She said with a smile. Violet came up behind the pair. “Do you think Justice Strauss's library has any cookbooks?”

……………………………………………………………………….

“Baudelaires, Eleanor, I wasn’t expecting to see you.” Justice Strauss said opening the door.

“We were wondering if you have any cookbooks,” Eleanor said.

“My private library is open to you whenever you'd like. It's mostly law books, but there are sections on everything from Italian cuisine to the world's most threatening fungus,” Justice Strauss said entering the library.

After a few hours of searching for a recipe the children settled on pasta puttanesca. Justice Strauss took the children to the local open-air market.

“Thank you for taking us,” Violet said kindly.

“We don’t know what we would have done without you,” Ellie added. Over the terrible years living with Count Olaf she had always made it a point to visit Justice Strauss whenever she could, although it wasn’t a common occurrence.

“Oh, you're resourceful children. I daresay you would have thought of something. I think it's nice that you're cooking dinner for Count Olaf and your new theatrical family. I had dreams of becoming an actress, you know. An actress and a mother, instead of ending up as a world-renowned member of the judiciary and in a series of strained, platonic relationship,” Justice Strauss said staring sadly of the trolley.

For a moment Ellie imagined what her life would have been like if she had gone to live with Justice Strauss instead of Olaf. Living in a loving household with a real parent and loads of books. She imagined what her life would have been like if her house a hadn’t burned down and her mother had lived and her father hadn’t left. Everything that happened felt like a different life, but all that was a strange spyglass and the last name Snicket.

Justice Strauss began to speak again, pulling Ellie out of her daydream, “Baudelaires, Ellie, I always find cooking for family to be something of a mitzvah. Do you know what that means?”

“A commandment,” Klaus guessed.

“A blessing,” Justice Strauss corrected, “You children have all had such sorrow in your lives already, you deserve the blessing of a new family with Count Olaf, and, if you don't mind my saying so... with me.”

As all the children smiled at each other Eleanor spoke up. “We don’t mind you saying so.”

……………………………………………………………………….

As the children entered the house, Eleanor and Klaus holding grocery bags and Violet holding Sunny, the children heard music started up. Ellie sighed, knowing the torture that was about to ensure.

“It’s the Count, It’s the Count, It’s the Count,” Olaf’s theater troupe began to sing. Ellie sighed and tried to tune out the racket. Though she was distraught over her mothers death and the fire that burned down her house and all her belongings the though that she would be placed with an actor and musician seemed to be a gleaming light in the darkness for Ellie. She had always loved music. From the time she was three she would sit on her mothers lap at the piano and pluck out music. As she got older she would experiment with different instruments, playing the violin, the flute, and even the bassoon. She would however always gravitate back to the piano as her instrument of choice. However the hope of being around other musically inclined people quickly fell.

As the musical number finally came to its end, Count Olaf stood in the center of the room, in a dramatic pose. “The Count……” he sang, staging out the last syllable.

“Yes, we’ve met.” Violet said causing Ellie to stifle a giggle.

“Orphans,” Count Olaf declared, “this is my theater troupe.” All the hench people introduced themselves. “And as everybody knows,” he continued, “After a grand entrance, the audience is supposed to applaud.”

“But we aren’t an audience,” Klaus tried to reason.

“No, orphans,” Count Olaf continued, “You are not. But we have been preparing an exciting new production that, on opening night, will change your life. All of the artistic and financial aspects of my career are finally coming together like two pieces of a bread in the middle of a sandwich.”

Sunny babbles something that was unintelligible to Eleanor but Klaus was quick to try and translate.

“What my sister means is that,” He began before Count Olaf cut him off.

“I don't care what she means. I don't have time to learn a second language besides whatever it is I'm speaking right now.” He spat out “In any case... we demand congratulations.”

“Congratulations?” the Baudelaire children offered awkwardly.

“A big round of applause,” Count Olaf prompted the children. The all quickly began clapping, not wanting another fit from the man. “And the delicious meal that you promised myself and my troupe?”

Sunny babbles again, angering Olaf even more. “You know, every time she talks, it's like the tines of a fork are being jammed into my eye...” he said his voice raising with every word.

“What my sister means,” Violet cut in quickly, “is that dinner will be served shortly.”

“What are we supposed to do until then?” Olaf said, still annoyed with the children.

“We could wait patiently?” the henchperson of indeterminate gender suggested.

“How about some wine Olaf?” The bald man spoke over them.

“Yes, wine,” one of the white faced women insisted, “We had that nice rosé last time.”

“It wasn't rosé, it was just watered down,” the other argued. The children glanced at each other awkwardly and hurried to the kitchen.

………………………………………………………………………

The children quickly put themselves to work. Ellie stood next to Klaus whilst pitting the olives. Violet stood at the counter across from them working on the pasta maker.

“I wonder if Count Olaf’s troupe will enjoy the meal?” Klaus wondered out loud.

“Mother always said actors would eat anything,” Violet joked.

“You’ve seen them perform,” Ellie said, “Would you call the actors?”

“They’re all as talented as Count Olaf,” Violet responded.

As the Baudelaire’s converse moved to their parents Ellie began to think of her parents. It had been two years where barely a day passed without thinking about her. Loosing her Dad was hard of course but she had always had her mom. Without her Ellie barely knew who she was.

“Yeah,” Klaus’s voice brought her back to reality, “Better than nothing.”

…….…………………………………………………………………

Count Olaf sat at the dinner table, one hand wrapped around his drink the other resting on his chair. He appeared to me in the middle of a lengthy soliloquy. “At times like these, surrounded by colleagues and cohorts, gathered in fellowship for the purpose of plotting theater, there's an eternal question that always springs to mind... when are we going to eat?”

“Dinner is served,” Eleanor said, with just a hint of her anger in her voice. She carefully approached Count Olaf, placing the noodles on the plates of the theater troupe. Once she got to him she moved to place the noodles on his plate when he yelled, causing her to drop the spoon and the noodles on his plate.

“Where is the roast beef!” he yelled.

“We didn’t make any roast beef,” Ellie said nervously.

“We made puttanesca sauce,” Violet said with more confidence.

“And homemade noodles,” Klaus added.

“No roast beef!” Olaf screamed, sounding like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. “Look at my guests! They... they can hardly touch this revolting foreign food! In agreeing to adopt you, I became your father. And as your father, I am not someone to be trifled with!”

The theater troupe began to interject, all complaining about dinner while still slurping it down.

“I demand you serve roast beef to myself and my guests.” He continued yelling.

“We don’t have any,” Violet spat back, “We made pasta puttanesca.”

Sunny babbles something that Ellie was able to translate into that night’s desert. Olaf grabbed Sunny and held her high above the table. Klaus, Violet, and Eleanor held their hands out trying to catch her. “This table is a mess,” Count Olaf said, “There’s hardly a place to put a baby.” He placed her on a tray near the middle of the table.

“Sunny!” Violet cried out.

“We are leaving for rehearsals,” Count Olaf announced.

“But the baby said there was chocolate pudding,” the hook-handed man said. All four children looked at him in surprise that he had understood Sunny.

“You children are to clean the table, and wash the dishes, and polish the silver, and rinse out all the wine bottles for recycling. And then you are to go straight to your beds,” Olaf continued.

“You mean our bed,” Klaus reminded him, “You only provided us with one bed.”

“If you want another bed, tomorrow you may go into town and purchase one.” Olaf said as if explaining something very simple.

“You know perfectly well we haven’t any money,” Klaus argued more.

“Of course you do,” Olaf said, “You three lucky orphans are inheriting an enormous fortune.”

“The money our parents left behind is not to be used until Violet-,” before Klaus could finish Count Olaf slapped him to the ground.

“The theater awaits,” he said, making his exit.

Ellie raced over to Klaus with Violet on her heels. “Are you alright?” She asked.

“No,” he responded, “This isn’t.”

“What?” Violet questioned.

“Better than nothing.”

a/n hey there! thanks for checking this out. sorry this chapter is a little late, i got a mild concussion on sunday but i’m all better now. beware updates for this are going to be long but there is a lot of books to get through. have a nice day!

#klaus baudelaire #klaus baudelaire x reader #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #count olaf #violet baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #lemony snicket #klaus baudelaire love story

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flanneryculp · 2 years

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I've been thinking about the snicketverse reveals - the Beatrice one at the end of asoue, and the Hangfire one at the end of atwq - and what they mean thematically.

Both Beatrice and Hangfire, are pretty minor characters, with Hangfire appearing in only 4 chapters in the whole series, and ofc Beatrice not appearing at all. but even though they don’t show up, they’re both very important. they drive the story from behind the scenes -- theyre the reason why all the conflict is even happening.

Also, Beatrice represents the past and future which reflects the story as a whole. There’s a lot of longing for how things used to be, before the Baudelaire mansion burned down, but there’s also so much hope for how things will be. The Quagmires and Baudelaires planning to start a printing press, the Baudelaire guardians assuming that the children will live there forever, there’s just so many plans that never got fulfilled.

On the other hand, Hangfire is only representative of the past, and that’s also similar to the story as a whole - everything used to be wonderful when Stain’d-by-the-Sea was in its glory days, and everyone is reminiscing over how it used to be. likewise ellington reminisces over the memory of her father, and how wonderful it was before he disappeared. Hangfire doesn’t represent the future because no one knows if Stain’d will even have a future. (and he’s trying to make sure it doesn’t, lol)

with that, asoue ending with the birth of Bea II symbolizes hope for the future. i’m not certain what hangfire’s death represents, but the combination of his death, ellington having to completely reevaluate her perception of her father, and the ending lines pertaining to what the other associates were hoping for in the beginning of the story (“I knew that Moxie’s mother would never send for her, just as I knew Pip and Squeak’s father was gone forever…”), i’m guessing that it means that the past is truly behind them. for better or for worse, stain’d can never go back to the way they remembered it.

one final thing I thought was interesting was how the baudelaire orphans were the protagonists of asoue but bits of lemony’s life bleed into it (especially through Beatrice), while atwq is the opposite, with Lemony as the protagonist but you can glean bits of his friends’ secrets & personal lives as you read into it.

maybe i’m stretching things too far, but I think it’s really neat how these short reveals add a whole new layer onto the story and recontextualize it !! :0

#counting the times hangfire appears as when hes physically present and lemony knows its him. i might have miscounted tho #either way hes described as working behind the scenes #asoue #atwq #a series of unfortunate events #all the wrong questions

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whoslaurapalmer · 2 years

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was going through my asoue tag yesterday (of posts i’ve reblogged, not my own posts) and found the post about klaus thinking even years later that he should’ve done something to help uncle monty and prevent his death and how important and heavy and terrible that guilt is and i was reading my tags on it and wanted to make them into a bigger post bc like, this really is heartbreaking, and so is reptile room in general

reptile room is such an important book!! bad beginning sets up olaf and his desire for the baudelaire fortune (and general abuse), but reptile room is the one that creates the set up for the rest of the books -- new guardian (or new circumstances), olaf eventually appears -- and is the first time it happens!! the kids go from suddenly losing their parents, to getting olaf, who’s a terrible, abusive person, to then getting a new guardian, who’s, nice. monty is still, incredibly misguided and a well-meaning but ultimately useless adult, because he doesn’t recognize olaf and focuses more on the herpetological society than baudelaires telling him olaf is a threat, but he’s also still a good person, and he’s the first good, kind, decent person the baudelaires meet after losing their parents.

he gives them their own rooms, with things he knows they’ll like, and he lets them be involved in his life and work and help prepare for the trip to peru. (this is also assuming that peru was not vfd-related, which i don’t think it was.) he makes them feel important and needed for themselves, not for the money they’ll one day have. he gives them a home, a safe place, somewhere they’re cared for, by someone who genuinely cares about them. it’s not like being at home with their parents, because nothing is going to compare to that, but it’s close. especially after living with someone like olaf, who hit klaus, locked sunny in a cage, tried to marry violet. and in no other book do they have the opportunity to be as comfortable and safe and cared for as they are with monty in the reptile room. (josephine’s fear prevents her from really being a parent and connecting with them, sir makes them do child labor, nero doesn’t care about his students and puts the kids in the orphan shack, esme and jerome are, esme and jerome, the vfd village also treats them as child labor, after that they’re on their own and the adults they meet still can’t do anything to really help. even dewey’s offer of the kids staying at the hotel falls flat in the face of, it is a vfd hotel, and even as neutral territory and ‘the last safe place’ it’s never going to be completely safe. the only place they have ever been remotely as safe as they were in their parent’s house is with monty.)

(and especially in the way that monty isn’t just montgomery montgomery, he’s introduced as uncle monty. it’s unlikely that he really was related to beatrice and bertrand, but he’s considered family.)

and then olaf comes back. and he corrupts that safety, and murders monty.

and it’s like the baudelaires lose their parents all over again. but this time, it was supposed to be different!! because before, when the fire killed their parents, they weren’t home, they were at briny beach. but now!! this time they were home!! this time they were there!! they were with a guardian who was family and like a parent and supposed to protect them, and the baudelaires could protect him, too!! and they were there when monty was murdered and just didn’t know!!! this kind of loss wasn’t supposed to happen again but it did! of course klaus would still think even years and years later that he should’ve done something, because he feels directly responsible for this loss that wasn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, supposed to happen a second time!!

and there’s no way he could’ve possibly changed anything about how it played out. olaf would’ve murdered monty eventually no matter what, because monty was in his way, and olaf was always going to do it in a way no one could interfere with. even if klaus had called out to the taxi driver to take olaf away when he arrived as stephano, likely nothing would’ve happened. but klaus’ survivors guilt exists and stays with him because it’s a horrifying loss that he blames himself for, because he was there, and monty was alive and then he wasn’t, and there’s proof this time, there’s a body this time, there’s a house that remains that didn’t burn down that klaus was in, monty’s possessions are left behind, his peaches are still there, such tangible things that only reinforce what was lost and wasn’t supposed to be lost this time. klaus is twelve years old and just lost his parents and then lost the only other adult who could’ve come close to them. (and it’s not going to stop there, but how this loss functions first in bb/rr specifically is pivotal)

and that trauma never stops! ideally he should know better as an adult, that it was never his responsibility to save monty, or his parents, and there was nothing he could do, but he still thinks it was because they were so close and so similar. it’s heartbreaking that even some time later klaus can’t stop re-imagining what he could’ve done differently

#lulu talks about the sad lemon man #yeah i could smooth this out a lil more i got into more than i thought i would but i am tired of rereading this and want to go to bed

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jazzyjasper98 · 1 month

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The Sims 4: A Series of Unfortunate Events Challenge

By me (@jazzyjasper98 ) 💚. I couldn't find a Sims 4 Challenge based on the original books or movie A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, so I decided to make my own.

POV: You're Violet Baudelaire/The Eldest Orphan

Upon enjoying a seemingly average day at the beach with your two younger siblings, you receive the news that both of your parents have perished in a fire that's destroyed your entire home. Orphaned and homeless, you are sent to live with a vile, grime-covered Count who claims to be a relative and has a number of schemes to get his greedy claws on your family fortune. He's also weirdly obsessed with eyes for some reason. It's up to you to protect your siblings and your inheritance from your new dastardly dad.

Long Lifespan recommended. (••• Menu > Game Options > Gameplay > Sim Lifespan)

Also Highly Recommended, but not Required — MCC Command Center Mod to allow your teen Sim to parent their youngest sibling.

Rules and Gameplay:

Start with two adults, one teen, one child, and one toddler in a mansion of your choosing. You may use "TestingCheats True" + "FreeRealEstate On" to move them into their first home. Names and genders are completely up to you.

Traits:

° Parents: Family Oriented + 2 of your choice

° Teen: Genius, Creative, Good

° Child: Genius, Bookworm

° Toddler: Inquisitive

Aspirations:

° Teen: Knowledge — Academic

° Child: Mental — Whiz Kid

Once your family is made and moved in, exit to Manage Worlds and create or choose an adult to be the Count, build/choose a decrepit-looking home to move him into, then return to the family.

Aspiration: Fortune — Fabulously Wealthy.

Traits: Mean, Evil, Hates Children.

Optional: Use the cheat "ModifyRelationship [Parent First Name] [Parent Last Name] [Count] [Count's Last Name] [Amount] LTR_Friendship_Main" to set the relationship between each parent and the Count before they perish, since Count Olaf knew the Baudelaires and caused their demise in the original story. Friendship amount can be anything from –100 to 100.

• Have the teen take their siblings to any beach (preferably on a cloudy day like in the movie, but this is not required), then switch control to the parents. Make them cook, leave the fireplace on too long, or use cheats/mods. Whatever starts a fire. Make sure neither parent survives. Then bulldoze the lot in Build Mode.

• Use the "Money [Amount]" cheat to set the family funds to §0 (or almost 0), then merge the orphans with the Count household.

• Give 'em hell. It's the "Series of Unfortunate Events" challenge for a reason. Make your Count perform a number of Mean and Mischief interactions with the children. Just try to not let child services take them away, since nobody helped the orphans in the original Series until it was nearly too late.

• When the teen ages up to Young Adult, use money cheats to make the orphans wealthy and move them back into their parents' burned down mansion and build another one (or choose one from the Gallery).

• Live Happily Ever After.

Goals and Epilogue:

Have all three children survive living with the Count until the eldest grows up and inherits their parents' fortune. This is not points based, and there's really no way you can lose — unless you have the Extreme Violence and/or Life Tragedies Mods to add some extra drama, in which case the intentional death of any child by the actions or influence of the Count results in the challenge being lost.

You are allowed to make other guardians like Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine from the original Series, but you're not required to. I wanted to keep this challenge as simple as possible for Simmers with limited packs.

Once they have a new home and their own lives back, the challenge is over and the rest of their lives is up to you!

Sorry in advance if anything is confusing; this is the first Challenge I've made. Please feel free to leave suggestions or problems in the notes on this post, and tag me if you post your challenge gameplay!

This challenge is not play tested.

#the sims 4 #the sims community #sims challenge #sims 4 challenge #series of unfortunate events #baudelaire orphans #klaus baudelaire #violet baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #count olaf #lemony snicket #series of unfortunate events challenge #the sims

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chaoshaven · 9 months

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A Series of Unfortunate Events is a series that is very well advertised. A long, sad story, in which one bad thing happens after another, to the Baudelaire orphans. They weren't always orphans but that was the start of their slippery slope down into their lives, and into a chase/battle between them and a greedy, villainous Count Olaf who wants their enormous fortune.

I loved these books because they were so depressing. Weird right? but in grade 3 when every book I read is either upbeat and happy, or the hero faces a challenge but overcomes it and gets a happily ever after, this series was a breath of stale air; which is to say, not a good change, but a different perspective.

I also liked how a lot of terms, words, and phrases were explained in this book. It never talked down to you, it used big words and then explained what they meant by explaining a scenario and using that term in a sentence.

It's hard to put my thoughts of this series into one post, spanning 13 books, 7 guardians, a submarine, a mysterious secret society, and a very flamboyant delinquent. The author Lemony Snicket, is a character in the world who is trying to solve the mystery of the Baudelaire fire. While also evading the cops for a crime that is only subtly told, but, yea, he may or may not have killed someone its fiiiiine.

The movie adaptation with Jim Carrey was fun, and I adored the Netflix series too. There are people who don't like the tv show, saying it doesn't do a good job adapting the story, to which I point out that the author was a producer for the show.

There's side novels, and a prequel story which takes place with the same author, but as a kid, solving mysteries around his home town. I haven't read them, but a friend did and he enjoyed them. It's because of these books that I love mysteries, psychoanalyzing characters, and get anxiety over everything and plan out a worst case scenario.

#books #VFD #count olaf #series of unfortunate events #asoue #lemony snicket

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absolutely-esme · 4 months

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Batman and A Series of Unfortunate Events crossover prompt

What if the Baudelaire siblings were related to the Wayne family?

The Baudelaires are a Trio of orphans who get bounced from relative to relative while being pursued by a villain that leaves each new guardian dead in his wake. They've tried, time and time again, to warn people about each new guise Count Olaf takes on, only to be brushed off each time.

I feel like there's two main ways this could go.

Option 1

Count Olaf gets brought down the same as any villain in Gotham without any special attention paid to him. The Baudelaires are a bit anxious about Count Olaf just never showing up, but eventually they get word that he's in either Arkham or Blackgate. Turns out, people in Gotham aren't trusting enough for his usual tactics to work.

Option 2

The Baudelaires are desperate to stop Count Olaf this time because their new caretaker has other kids who would be left orphaned as well if count Olaf killed him. They contact Gotham's heroes in hopes that maybe they will actually take the problem seriously. Batman finds his newest adoptees on the roof of the PD next to the Bat Signal after Violet used her mechanical smarts to get them past Wayne Manor's security system.

How things go beyond that would largely depend on which version of Batman and which point in the timeline they arrive at.

#A Series of Unfortunate Events x DC #a series of unfortunate events #Batman #Gotham

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countessviolet · 4 months

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Family on Fire - Ch. 1 - Morning Commute

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

The Baudelaire siblings bustled quickly from their makeshift attic bedroom, shrugging on coats and boots as they prepared to sneak down the decrepit steps and out the even more decrepit house.

"You have —" Klaus panted as he struggled into a sweater, fighting with his glasses as the rough material scratched at his skin. "Study Hall first period, right?"

"Yeah," Violet responded as she finished putting Sunny's tiny beanie on her head. They hoped their neighbor, Justice Strauss, would be able to look after Sunny while the eldest Baudelaires were at school. Since their move into the dilapidated House of Eyes, their kindly neighbor had been more than helpful with getting the Baudelaire's adjusted to their new circumstances, whether it was lending them books or keeping Sunny. Violet and Klaus readily agreed they would leave her in a sewer before they left them alone with their strange, often drunk or hungover guardian. Violet led the way down the rotting staircase, having mesmerized the noisiest portions of stairs, a necessary inkling of information to avoid their wayward guardian's tyranny. They did not have the luxury to deal with his jabs and unreasonable demands this morning. Well, any morning really, but today they were exceptionally pressed for time. After all, when one's guardian kept the entire household awake with play practice, or whatever Count Olaf and his theatre troupe were doing until the wee hours of the morning.

Good fortune seemed to be on their side as they neared the end of the stairs, the front door a glowing, abet dusty, beacon that signified that the day might be saved yet.

And then Count Olaf stepped around the corner, long legs crossed casually at the ankles as he very intentionally blocked his wards' escape.

"Hello, hello, hello," he greeted cheekily, sneering as they jolted, the sight of their pitiful figures giving him a bolt of energy. "Count Olaf," Klaus greeted with clear irritation. "We need to get going so if you wouldn't mind—" “Has being an orphan for three months completely stifled your manners?” the Count inquired mockingly, giving the boy a sick twitch of a smirk. “What would your parents think?

Quickly, and with as passive an expression as she could muster, Violet prevented her brother from shouting at their guardian and/or from bounding down the stairs to him by prodding Sunny into his arms. Klaus was still very defensive when it came to the subject of their parents. Violet had learned to internalize the pain from Count Olaf’s stabbing reminders of their loss.

“Good morning, Count Olaf,” Violet greeted as she stepped around her siblings, putting even less distance between themselves and their dreadful guardian.

“Much better,” the Count remarked with a wink. Violet managed to hide her wince of discomfort.

“Yes, well," she said, carefully clearing her throat. "We’re going to be late for school as it is so if you'll please—”

Olaf scoffed, the action so exaggerated the Baudelaires could see coffee-mixed-spit fly from his mouth. "School," he mocked in a high-pitched voice, leaning against the banister. "Such a waste of time. I never finished school and look at me now!"

The Baudelaires were well aware from past situations with the Count that a sudden change in his posture following a great exclamation warranted a bout of praise and applause, or so Olaf had told them before.

"Yes," Klaus falsely agreed, his nose slightly wrinkled.

"Bort," Sunny babbled, meaning something along the lines of: "Don't you dare sneer at educated people, you lout!"

Violet took the smallest step forward, shoulders squared. "Count Olaf, you recall Mr. Poe's recent requirement for him to consider allowing us access - "

"To your glorious fortune that should have been handed over to me the second I became you brats' guardian? Of course I recall!" Count Olaf finished with a snarl. "Perfect grades and attendance for the selfish orphans!" he continued with heavy mockery. "As if feeding, clothing and housing you wasn't enough."

"You've barely done any of those things in the three months we've been here!" Klaus shouted from behind Violet who turned and begged with wide eyes for him to stop.

"Oh, I've done more than you, mouthy brat," Olaf shouted back, his frame solidifying. "All you've done is complain!" "Anyone who stayed in this house an hour would understand why!" he roared back, placing Sunny on the stairs behind him. "You give us lists of chores every day but destroy all progress we make the very same day! You threaten us with bodily harm constantly and make life generally unbearable!" "Oh, you little - " "Klaus!"

"Temp!" Sunny cheered, meaning: "Make him cry, Klaus!"

Violet had no choice but to press herself into the wall as her brother and godawful legally-appointed guardian faced each other, their sneers equal in malice.

"You're not a guardian," Klaus growled. "You're a tyrant with an alcohol problem and a complete disgrace to the entertainment industry!"

In a flash, Count Olaf had his hand intertwined in Klaus's sweater, yanking him down to his level until their foreheads threatened to collide. "I'm going to rip your eyes from your skull you son of a - "

"Count Olaf!" Olaf and the Baudelaires shot around to find none other than an agape Mr. Poe standing in the entryway, just behind the Count's most recognizable henchman, the Hook-Handed man. His expression was slack, pity mixed with second-hand embarrassment clear on his scarred face. Hanging from his signature hooks were what appeared to be several plastic-wrapped costumes.

Mr. Poe quickly recovered, marching into the house with purpose.

"Oh, Mr. Money - Poe!" Count Olaf corrected quickly. "This is not what it looks like!" The banker glared at the wirey fingers still woven into Klaus's collar. The Count released him, making a show of trying to smooth out his clothes before the young teen slapped his hand away.

"Well, it's more what I heard that ignites my concern, Count Olaf," the banker spoke as he covered a light cough in his ever-present handkerchief.

Olaf turned to his associate, his eyes hardening. "Why are you letting people into my house!"

"He just sort of followed me, boss!" the hooked-handed man said, struggling as the costumes danced from his flailing arms. "Said he wanted to make sure himself the Baudelaires made it to school, something about a requirement to - "

"The glorious Baudelaire fortune, yes I know!" he hissed at his associate with malice.

“Yes, well, that's what we were trying to do until -" Klaus's explanation was silenced by Count Olaf's purposeful but well-hidden shove. T

he young scholar landed beside his baby sister with a thud, his kidneys and spine aching from the impact. Violet ducked under Olaf's arm to her brother's aid, glaring at the Count's back.

"But of course they're going to make it to school!" the Count practically sang, wrapping an arm around the banker's shoulders and spinning him around before he had a chance to protest. A quick eye-cut to the hooked-handed man sent him sprinting to the living room, costumes raised high to protect them from ruin. "Surely you know I'm nothing but interested in my wards' education, yes?" Olaf inquired through a forced smile. From the stairs, the Baudelaires picked themselves up, brushing dirt off their wrinkled school clothes and watching the scene before them, annoyed that Count Olaf had once again managed to worm his way into the holes of Mr. Poe's logic before they could get a word in.

"But you...what you said to Klaus - "

"Just a dialogue suggestion for the next time he runs into bullies at school. I am an actor after all," the Count bragged, leaning closely into the banker's ear. "Between you and me, I hear they dunk him in the toilets in the girl's locker room. Poor kid needs all the help he can get."

"We can hear you!" Violet called out.

"Quiet dear, grown-ups are talking," Olaf returned. With a hum and a barely thorough glance back at the Baudelaires, the banker seemed almost contempt with the Count's explanation. "Well, as long as they get to school on time. The requirement -"

"For the fortune," Count Olaf forced out, teeth clenched. "I'm aware."

"Mr. Poe, wait!" Violet called out.

"Oh, don't fret, Violet," Mr. Poe said as Olaf straightened his hat and coat for him. "Of course I wouldn't leave without telling you all goodbye."

The Baudelaires watched in annoyed despair as Count Olaf practically waltzed their financial advisor right out the door.

"Goodbye Baudel - " Count Olaf spun towards his charges as the front door promptly slammed in the banker's face, annoyed and now exhausted from having to put on an act with a fleeting hangover. Damned brats did not consider how hard he had to work to steal their glorious fortune. "Well," he snarled with a toothy grin.

"I suppose I better get you brats to school, hmm?" The siblings stared frightfully at one another, unsure of which fate was worse: spending day after day in Count Olaf’s terrible home or getting in a moving vehicle with said man.

“Um,” Violet began, working through her initial shock. “That’s very…generous of you but we really—”

“I’m so full of love,” Olaf deadpanned, long neck twitching in the direction of the front door. "Now get."

"But Sunny - " Olaf groaned, the sound reminiscent of a wild animal or an incoming emergency siren. "Hooky!"

The Baudelaires flinched as the Count's handless associate came bounding into the living room. Olaf quickly grabbed Sunny from Klaus' arms and hung her by the back of her onesie on one of his hooks.

"There! Car, now!"

The Baudelaires wasted no time in finally easing past their guardian into the cool morning air. Instead of relief however, a thick dread filled them all. Mind you, this was the first time the Baudelaires had set foot in Count Olaf’s car. Violet, having a broad mind for mechanics, already knew it was far from safe for him and his troop, let alone three children. She could hear gears grinding whenever he parked and there was always a lingering burning smell, like oil or rubber, that followed him into the house. The inside, as the siblings found out, was just as concerning. The back seat, though roomy, was stained and ripped. There were only frayed strips of elastic where seatbelts were supposed to be.

“We could just make a run for it,” Klaus suggested.

"From the metal death trap or the human one?" Violet returned.

“Oh, good morning children!” The Baudelaires turned to see Justice Strauss strutting across the street, perky despite the early hour. "Is everything alright?" the kind but often ignorant judge inquired. "You're running a bit behind today."

"Everything's fine!" Count Olaf exclaimed as he came bounding into the driveway, placing tight grips on the eldest Baudelaires' shoulders.

"Oh, Count Olaf," Justice Strauss greeted with an air of surprise. "I...wasn't expecting you this early."

"None of us were," Klaus grumbled.

Olaf's grin flickered a bit but he kept to his role. He was an actor after all, and right now he was playing the part of a concerned, stable guardian, even if he really, really, wanted to choke one of his charges.

"Well," He said through a clenched smile. "I just...lo...loo..."

The Baudelaires exchanged worried looks as Olaf struggled to release a certain four-letter word. Klaus finally released a loud cough in an attempt to pull the Count from his stutter.

"I...adore these brats—eh, children. I just have to spend as much time with them as possible," He said, looking greener than he had a moment before. The Baudelaires rolled their eyes at the very obviously false garbage their guardian just spat out, but their law-abiding neighbor did not seem to catch on.

"Well, it's very nice to see you all getting along," the judge offered despite Klaus and Violet's obvious discomfort. Before either of the siblings could respond, the Count steered them back towards the car.

“Welp,” Count Olaf said as twirled the keys around one finger. “Hop in.”

The siblings exchanged worried glances before reluctantly sliding into the back, sitting together as tightly as possible as Olaf jerked the wheel, speeding into the street where he narrowly missed hitting several parked cars and a couple walking their dog.

“Oh my gah—” Klaus exclaimed as he and Violet whirled around in the back, gripping any piece of the car that felt stable.

"So..." Violet inquired hoarsely. "Just for conversation's sake, when was the last time you had your car serviced?" Olaf looked up at her through the rearview mirror but supplied no answer.

"Oil change, brake test?" she offered.

"Airbags tested," Klaus added as the car went over another hurdle in the road. It was surprising how a public road could have so many dents and injuries.

Olaf shrugged as he rounded a left-hand corner, narrowly missing hitting a car that very legally had the right-a-way. Ahead, several traffic lights began to change from green to yellow, falsely giving the Baudelaires hope that he would abide by the laws put in place and slow down. Violet and Klaus were subsequently forced back as he sped through the quickly changing red lights, earning the ire and blaring horns from several vehicles.

"Slow down, you animals!" Olaf shouted out the window. To Violet and Klaus' increasing horror, he turned his lanky body awkwardly around in his seat to look at both of them. "First rule of the road, watch out for idiots," he instructed.

“You're driving on the sidewalk!” Klaus gasped, gripping Violet for dear life. The Count glanced away for them to the road.

"Oh!" he exclaimed as he jerked the car back on the road, narrowly missing a fire hydrant. "That could have been nasty."

Violet looked around the rapidly moving exterior. Rows upon rows of high-class houses passed in one mass blur. She could just make out the home’s occupants—school children the parents that were seeing them off—scurrying into their and their neighbor’s yards for protection.

"The speed limit is 35 in this area," The young inventor gasped.

The Count scoffed in response. "Speed limits are suggestions," he said, his grin widening. "Oh, that's good advice."

"Here's some more," Klaus said as he clutched onto the shoulders of the seat in front of him. "Slow down."

"Yes, I'm teaching you orphans valuable skills and getting you to school on time, I'm brilliant!" Count Olaf cackled, the exaggerated gesture causing him to once again distract his hands and eyes. Mr. Poe would love this! Him, a brilliant and humble actor, building three grubby children into perfect pillars of his greatness. Yes, he'd have a massive check written out in no time -

"Watch the road!" Klaus and Violet shouted out.

The Baudelaire siblings bustled quickly from their makeshift attic bedroom, shrugging on coats and boots as they prepared to sneak down the decrepit steps and out the even more decrepit house.

"You have —" Klaus panted as he struggled into a sweater, fighting with his glasses as the rough material scratched at his skin. "Study Hall first period, right?"

Violet led the way down the rotting staircase, having mesmerized the noisiest portions of stairs, a necessary inkling of information to avoid their wayward guardian's tyranny. They did not have the luxury to deal with his jabs and unreasonable demands this morning. Well, any morning really, but today they were exceptionally pressed for time. After all, when one's guardian kept the entire household awake with play practice, or whatever Count Olaf and his theatre troupe were doing until the wee hours of the morning.

Good fortune seemed to be on their side as they neared the end of the stairs, the front door a glowing, abet dusty, beacon that signified that the day might be saved yet. And then Count Olaf stepped around the corner, long legs crossed casually at the ankles as he very intentionally blocked his wards' escape.

"Hello, hello, hello," he greeted cheekily, sneering as they jolted, the sight of their pitiful figures giving him a bolt of energy.

"Count Olaf," Klaus greeted with clear irritation. "We need to get going so if you wouldn't mind—"

“Has being an orphan for three months completely stifled your manners?” the Count inquired mockingly, giving the boy a sick twitch of a smirk. “What would your parents think?

“Good morning, Count Olaf,” Violet greeted as she stepped around her siblings, putting even less distance between themselves and their dreadful guardian.

“Much better,” the Count remarked with a wink. Violet managed to hide her wince of discomfort.

“Yes, well," she said, carefully clearing her throat. "We’re going to be late for school as it is so if you'll please—” Olaf scoffed, the action so exaggerated the Baudelaires could see coffee-mixed-spit fly from his mouth.

"School," he mocked in a high-pitched voice, leaning against the banister. "Such a waste of time. I never finished school and look at me now!"

"Yes," Klaus falsely agreed, his nose slightly wrinkled.

"Bort," Sunny babbled, meaning something along the lines of: "Don't you dare sneer at educated people, you lout!"

Violet took the smallest step forward, shoulders squared. "Count Olaf, you recall Mr. Poe's recent requirement for him to consider allowing us access - "

"You've barely done any of those things in the three months we've been here!" Klaus shouted from behind Violet who turned and begged with wide eyes for him to stop.

"Oh, I've done more than you, mouthy brat," Olaf shouted back, his frame solidifying. "All you've done is complain!"

"Anyone who stayed in this house an hour would understand why!" he roared back, placing Sunny on the stairs behind him. "You give us lists of chores every day but destroy all progress we make the very same day! You threaten us with bodily harm constantly and make life generally unbearable!"

"Oh, you little - "

"Klaus!"

"Temp!" Sunny cheered, meaning: "Make him cry, Klaus!"

Violet had no choice but to press herself into the wall as her brother and godawful legally-appointed guardian faced each other, their sneers equal in malice.

"You're not a guardian," Klaus growled. "You're a tyrant with an alcohol problem and a complete disgrace to the entertainment industry!"

In a flash, Count Olaf had his hand intertwined in Klaus's sweater, yanking him down to his level until their foreheads threatened to collide.

"I'm going to rip your eyes from your skull you son of a - "

"Count Olaf!"

Olaf and the Baudelaires shot around to find none other than an agape Mr. Poe standing in the entryway, just behind the Count's most recognizable henchman, the Hook-Handed man. His expression was slack, pity mixed with second-hand embarrassment clear on his scarred face. Hanging from his signature hooks were what appeared to be several plastic-wrapped costumes.

Mr. Poe quickly recovered, marching into the house with purpose.

"Oh, Mr. Money - Poe!" Count Olaf corrected quickly. "This is not what it looks like!"

The banker glared at the wirey fingers still woven into Klaus's collar. The Count released him, making a show of trying to smooth out his clothes before the young teen slapped his hand away.

"Well, it's more what I heard that ignites my concern, Count Olaf," the banker spoke as he covered a light cough in his ever-present handkerchief. Olaf turned to his associate, his eyes hardening.

"Why are you letting people into my house!"

"The glorious Baudelaire fortune, yes I know!" he hissed at his associate with malice.

“Yes, well, that's what we were trying to do until -" Klaus's explanation was silenced by Count Olaf's purposeful but well-hidden shove. The young scholar landed beside his baby sister with a thud, his kidneys and spine aching from the impact. Violet ducked under Olaf's arm to her brother's aid, glaring at the Count's back.

"Surely you know I'm nothing but interested in my wards' education, yes?" Olaf inquired through a forced smile.

From the stairs, the Baudelaires picked themselves up, brushing dirt off their wrinkled school clothes and watching the scene before them, annoyed that Count Olaf had once again managed to worm his way into the holes of Mr. Poe's logic before they could get a word in.

"But you…what you said to Klaus - "

"We can hear you!" Violet called out.

"Quiet dear, grown-ups are talking," Olaf returned.

With a hum and a barely thorough glance back at the Baudelaires, the banker seemed almost contempt with the Count's explanation.

"Well, as long as they get to school on time. The requirement -"

"For the fortune," Count Olaf forced out, teeth clenched. "I'm aware."

"Mr. Poe, wait!" Violet called out.

"Oh, don't fret, Violet," Mr. Poe said as Olaf straightened his hat and coat for him. "Of course I wouldn't leave without telling you all goodbye."

The Baudelaires watched in annoyed despair as Count Olaf practically waltzed their financial advisor right out the door.

"Goodbye Baudel - "

Count Olaf spun towards his charges as the front door promptly slammed in the banker's face, annoyed and now exhausted from having to put on an act with a fleeting hangover. Damned brats did not consider how hard he had to work to steal their glorious fortune.

"Well," he snarled with tooth grin. "I suppose I better get you brats to school, hmm?"

The siblings stared frightfully at one another, unsure of which fate was worse: spending day after day in Count Olaf’s terrible home or getting in a moving vehicle with said man.

“Um,” Violet began, working through her initial shock. “That’s very…generous of you but we really—”

“I’m so full of love,” Olaf deadpanned, long neck twitching in the direction of the front door. "Now get."

"But Sunny - "

Olaf groaned, the sound reminiscent of a wild animal or an incoming emergency siren.

"Hooky!"

The Baudelaires flinched as the Count's handless associate came bounding into the living room. Olaf quickly grabbed Sunny from Klaus' arms and hung her by the back of her onesie on one of his hooks.

"There! Car, now!"

The inside, as the siblings found out, was just as concerning. The back seat, though roomy, was stained and ripped. There were only frayed strips of elastic where seatbelts were supposed to be.

“We could just make a run for it,” Klaus suggested.

"From the metal death trap or the human one?" Violet returned.

“Oh, good morning children!”

The Baudelaires turned to see Justice Strauss strutting across the street, perky despite the early hour.

"Is everything alright?" the kind but often ignorant judge inquired. "You're running a bit behind today."

"Everything's fine!" Count Olaf exclaimed as he came bounding into the driveway, placing tight grips on the eldest Baudelaires' shoulders.

"Oh, Count Olaf," Justice Strauss greeted with an air of surprise. "I…wasn't expecting you this early."

"None of us were," Klaus grumbled.

"Well," He said through a clenched smile. "I just…lo…loo…"

The Baudelaires exchanged worried looks as Olaf seemed to struggle releasing a certain four-letter word. Klaus finally released a loud cough in an attempt to pull the Count from his stutter.

"I…adore these brats—eh, children. I just have to spend as much time with them as possible," He said, looking greener than he had a moment before.

The Baudelaires rolled their eyes at the very obviously false garbage their guardian just spat out, but their law-abiding neighbor did not seem to catch on.

"Well, it's very nice to see you all getting along," the judge offered despite Klaus and Violet's obvious discomfort.

Before either of the siblings could respond, the Count steered them back towards the car.

“Welp,” Count Olaf said as twirled the keys around one finger. “Hop in.”

“Oh my gah—” Klaus exclaimed as he and Violet whirled around in the back, gripping any piece of the car that felt stable.

"So…" Violet inquired hoarsely. "Just for conversation's sake, when was the last time you had your car serviced?"

Olaf looked up at her through the rearview mirror but supplied no answer.

"Oil change, brake test?" she offered.

"Airbags tested," Klaus added as the car went over another hurdle in the road. It was surprising how a public road could have so many dents and injuries.

Olaf shrugged as he rounded a left-hand corner, narrowly missing hitting a car that very legally had the right-a-way.

Ahead, several traffic lights began to change from green to yellow, falsely giving the Baudelaires hope that he would abide by the laws put in place and slow down. Violet and Klaus were subsequently forced back as he sped through the quickly changing red lights, earning the ire and blaring horns from several vehicles.

"Slow down, you animals!" Olaf shouted out the window. To Violet and Klaus' increasing horror, he turned his lanky body awkwardly around in his seat to look at both of them.

"First rule of the road, watch out for idiots," he instructed.

“You're driving on the sidewalk!” Klaus gasped, gripping Violet for dear life.

The Count glanced away for them to the road.

"Oh!" he exclaimed as he jerked the car back on the road, narrowly missing a fire hydrant. "That could have been nasty."

"The speed limit is 35 in this area," The young inventor gasped.

The Count scoffed in response. "Speed limits are suggestions," he said, his grin widening. "Oh, that's good advice."

"Here's some more," Klaus said as he clutched onto the shoulders of the seat in front of him. "Slow down."

"Watch the road!" Klaus and Violet shouted out.

The Count's attention, thankfully, returned to the road just as he approached an angry red light. With a yelp matching the Baudelaires, he slammed on brakes. Though the car stopped, the echoing screech of metal hitting metal and Count Olaf's shoe going straight through the floorboard sent a new wave of terror through its occupants.

"What was that?" Klaus inquired carefully.

"Um," Olaf stuttered as he stared at the scattered remains of his car's brake system scattered on the asphalt under his shoe.

A series of angry horns resounded behind them. The traffic light above them had morphed into its signature green light.

"No don't—"

But Olaf had already slammed on the gas, soaring away from the angry drivers into a thankfully mostly empty stretch of road. It was a clear shot to the school now.

"For God's sake!" Klaus moaned as gravity pushed him further into his seat.

"Hey, a little gratitude would be nice!" Count Olaf barked.

"Oh yes!" Klaus shouted as he maneuvered himself to the middle of the car, leaning over the expansive front seat to glare at Olaf. "Thank you for forcing my sister and me into a car with no brakes! Thank you so much!"

"It had brakes when we started!"

"You blundering—"

Violet pushed herself between her brother and wayward guardian, tying her hair back with her faux silk ribbon as she tried to remember alternate braking features on cars.

"Oh good, Violet," the Count said. "You take the wheel while I kill your brother!"

"Take your foot off the gas, now!" she demanded.

The Count looked at her, flabbergasted at her flash of audacity. "Who do you think you are barking orders at —" Klaus and Violet both grabbed Olaf by the face and forced him to look forward. To all their growing horror, the car soared closer to a completely oblivious crossing guard escorting a hoard of pedestrians across the street.

"Emergency brake! Now! NOW!" Klaus exclaimed.

Olaf blinked, freed from his stupor to reach beside his seat to pull at the tool in question. However, the car's erratic speed did not change.

"Get your foot off the gas," Violet pleaded.

"My foot is not on the gas!" Olaf lifted his legs to his chin, holding them tightly as their doom eased closer.

The oldest Baudelaires flew into action—as well as someone could while the car they were trying to stop was threatening to collide with early morning traffic. Violet, after pushing Olaf as far as he would go against the door, banged her fist against the horn but not as much as a whimper echoed out. Of all the things in Count Olaf's metal deathtrap he called a car to not work…

Violet pushed aside the Count's legs and reached for the gas pedal, the sight of the zooming gravel below making her nauseous.

"It's stuck!"

"Of course it is!"

"What did I say about gratitude!"

Violet felt around until she found the problem: a loose bolt.

"Klaus, Olaf, pull on the brake while I fix this, hurry!"

The two men pulled with all their might, the brake not budging.

"Come on…"

"I'm too handsome to die like this!" Olaf exclaimed, the burst of emotion somehow enough that the brake loosened just as Violet loosened the gas pedal, sending the car to a screeching stop and its occupants into the spacious front seat.

"Ow," Violet moaned, having hit her head against the window when the vehicle settled.

"Is everyone okay?" the young inventor inquired as her head finally stopped spinning. Thankfully though, the car had stopped mere inches from the crosswalk, the near-catastrophe having gone unnoticed by the attendant and pedestrians. Count Olaf had pulled himself upright and was attempting to compose himself. Violet could make out a small tremble in his hands. Klaus had been sent into the back seat yet again, his glasses crooked on his pale face.

"Well…we made it."

Violet and Klaus looked out the window. Low and behold, their high school was waiting, and by the number of students still mulling about, they made it just in time.

"Wow," Violet said, genuinely surprised they made it at all and at how the car was still running.

"Hey!"

The three shouted and shot towards the driver's seat window where the crossing guard stood with a deep frown. She pointed at an unknown object in the car, the tip of her finger smudging the already dirty glass.

"None of you have your seat belts on!"

The three stared at the guard, exasperated, then at each other. Slowly, they re-strapped themselves in whatever their section of the car had as a seatbelt.

The guard, satisfied, left to yell at a group of children walking too fast across the crosswalk as the car's occupants continued to recover.

"Four minutes before first bell," Klaus sighed, attempting to fix a dent in his glass frame.

Count Olaf glanced out the passenger seat's window at the mass of students heading into the school.

"We made really good time." Klaus admitted, still so dazed it felt like the words had come from someone else entirely.

"Of course you did," the Count scoffed. "I couldn't have planned it any other way.

Violet groaned, stretching out their aching sore limbs as Violet struggled to get the passenger door open.

"Here," Olaf said when he noticed her, leaning over and pulling the door handle in just a way that the door opened with only a few loud pops.

"Oh," Violet replied, surprised at the Count's flash of consideration. He shrugged in reply.

"Let's go," Klaus whispered, urging his sister out of he car.

The Count seemed perfectly content to simply drive off, but Violet had yet to close the passenger door or move from the car at all. Her stillness was because she knew she was going to regret what she was going to do next. She could easily just leave things the way they were and continue to ignore him until Mr. Poe allowed him access to her fortune or she turned 18. However, it was apparent now that they could co-exist and work off each other. She didn't want to spend the next three years struggling and fighting for comfort. She didn't deserve that. Klaus and Sunny didn't deserve that. Maybe Olaf didn't either.

"Problem, orphan?" Olaf teased, though he was curious as to why she was holding them up.

"I…could look at the car later tonight. Perform that oil change and a few other things, if you want."

Olaf's eyebrow arched in suspicion. From the corner of her eye, Violet could see Klaus's head shoot up, his eyes wide with stunned terror.

"Just to make it safe enough to get us back and forth to school, and maybe the grocery store,"

Count Olaf scoffed. "Near-death experience stir up some more audacity, orphan?"

Violet crossed her arms and rested them on the rolled-down window, staring at her appointed guardian with discontent.

"I was just thinking Mr. Poe might be quite impressed if he saw you continuing to make an effort - "

"Starting to," Klaus corrected bitterly as he wiped his mouth.

"And," Violet continued, unperturbed, kept her stare on Count Olaf. "He might be encouraged to make sure we are plenty comfortable so you can continue those efforts, don't you think?"

Count Olaf's grin was diabolical, but Violet was satisfied he got onto the hint.

"Glad to see at least one of you brats is finally starting to cooperate," he said.

"My siblings will follow as long as you cooperate," Violet returned, stepping away from the car. "Do we have a deal, then? Can we try to cohabitate at least?"

The count stared at the eldest of his three charges. In all honesty, he was charmed at her pluck. She knew how to ease into his good side, unlike her loud-mouth brother who was practically paying property taxes on his bad side.

Really, it wasn't terrible having them with him. He'd grown used to their presence in his halls, used to the little flaws they had been leaving in his life for the past three months. He was less annoyed with their existence now, and could look at each of them without seeing Beatrice or Bertrand looking back.

And the closer he kept them, the closer he would be to their sweet, beautiful fortune. How did that saying go? About closeness and enemies? Yeah, he could do that. For now.

He shrugged, putting the car in drive.

"Just don't scratch the paint. I'm keeping a total of what you brats owe me, you know."

"Fine," Violet sighed, stepping onto the grass where Klaus gave her a worried frown.

Count Olaf waved them off as he sped off into the road, just making it to a changing green light.

“See you at three!”

Violet and Klaus stopped in their tracks, shooting around to see the Count speeding off dangerously into traffic, his hand waving wildly to them out the window. After the initial shock wore off, Klaus made a mad dash away from his sister, and the school at that.

"Where are you going?" Violet called after him.

Klaus, a crazed look in his eyes, pointed into an unknown location. "I'm going to beg the school board to put a bus stop on our corner! There's half a town of eyewitnesses who will gladly sign that petition!"

#a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue fic #violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #count olaf #family on fire verse

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