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sweetdeathwrites · 5 years

Text

You Are The Right One

Pairing: Gokudera Hayato/Reader

Summary: Gokudera knows what you mean to him. But what does he mean to you?

Warnings: fluff, romance, some sexual situations/suggestiveness (i.e. Gokudera is thirsty), angst

Word Count: 6,929

(Songfic to You Are The Right One by Sports)

(re/cross?posted from my AO3 and Luna! Original A/N below)

(Hi!! I know I've been gone a long time and I'm SORRY!! I've been going through a lot of stuff (I've been in 3 productions since the last time I've posted .. i think it's only 3.. but I've been a NAMED character in 2 out of 3!! the third one doesn't count bc it was a bunch of skits and so strict plot... so i guess that means... i was a named character in BOTH of my productions?~ I just performed in Grease 2 days ago on friday as Jan, my twinkie girl!! I got to eat twinkies on stage!! It was v exciting and I had a blast! some people I know from the hawaii theatre came down to see me and one of my dad's movie friends and they loved me! one of them told my mom i'm going to broadway! haha!!! ^v^ isn't that sweet? I don't think so but that's a lovely hope, isn't it? I'd like to dedicate this fic to someone who means the world to me, the lovely GuardianAngel07! I love you so much and I know that you're going through a lot right now and I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what, and I know that you are busy and have a lot on your mind, and I just want you to know I'm never mad if we don't talk for a while! I think you get a little worried and feel guilty when we don't talk, but that's not it at all! I care for you so much and if your mental health needs you to take a break, then TAKE that break, honey!!!1! I'm always here to support you and I want what's best for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally!! I care for you a whole lot, okay? I'm always in your corner!!! I'm sorry that this fic isn't what I originally planned to gift to you (the original was much sweeter!! and less angsty!!) but this was the one that was most finished and I figured that anything with our lovely KHR boys would help to cheer you up! I hope you like it!!,, Uhm.... I've also got a lot planned! I released a LONG hannibal fic on AO3 and it's not the best bc I started it 2 years ago.yikes... but I'm finally gonna write for it again after a year but I'm going to revamp it (at least fix the grammar!) before I release it here! It's v violent and prolly gonna get really sexual too, so there's a warning, but i'll warn again when I actually post it. to be truthful, I had this almost fully done for months. I just hated it and hated it and hated it. I've been hating my writing a lot recently which isn't good bc I want to finish a book before I graduate and I'm taking an AP english exam on the 16th, so it's awful timing. I haven't been doing the best but I'm looking forward to summer........ only 18 more days left before I'm free.... then I have summer then I'm a senior and ..yikes....;;; but I've got some summer plans! I'm going to cut and dye my hair (I just realized nothing is stopping me from getting a Guzma cut and dye... then I can dye my hair pink!! and any other color after!!!) and I'll visit a friend in alaska, then I'll get a job somewhere.......... i got no college fund........... sorry for dragging on and on!! uhhhh just expect more from me (hopefully soon..... @GuardianAngel07 i hope ur ready for more awful songfics from me.... because i've written some reeeeaaaaallll angsty and sad ones, already with u in mind!! why do you always get the worst of the bunch.......,,,) love u all! and please leave a review if u enjoyed this! I seriously would've stopped posting all together if it wasn't for some incredibly kind people (looking at you, GA07!!) and a recent review for my hannibal fic on AO3 (or rather, reviews. yes, this person left MULTIPLE. very detailed and heartfelt, and I was giddy for days after!! So if you want more, PLEASE leave a review!! it's not fun to post and feel like you're just yelling into a void!! yell back at me!)

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You were the right way I was just waiting for you to look at me Is there a wrong time? Baby, I’m guessing Just let me know He can never get a break, can he? Gokudera sighed, smoke curling past his lips into the chill autumn air. The leaves were just beginning to change color and he cursed how the light cast amber shadows over the smooth plane of your face, cursed how he couldn’t trace the honey light with his fingertips and kiss the darkness away. His tongue clicked against his teeth and he took another drag of his cigarette. Hayato tried to ignore you. He really did. But how can he, when you look as good as you do with a rose-pink blush that covers your cheeks and ears when someone cracks a joke that makes you laugh until you can barely catch your breath? How your jaw drops open in delight before you remember where you are and hide your smile with your hand– something he desperately hoped you would lose the habit of because, god, did you look pretty when you smiled– and blot away the joyful tears in your eyes? How could he not give you his complete, undivided attention when you were as sugar-sweet as you were? His jade eyes flickered back to you again, almost against his will. Your face was bright, eyes glinting in the soft light of the dying afternoon as you teased one of your friends, grinning widely as they swiped playfully at you in return. Gokudera groaned and his head slumped back against the pillar he was leaning against a little too quick, sending an unpleasant shock up his spine. “Shit,” he hissed, stomping out his cigarette on the concrete behind Namimori High and massaging the back of his skull gingerly. What a day. First, Tsuna and Yamamoto had nearly been killed on their way to school again; of course, Gokudera saved both of them, although Yamamoto he saved slightly more reluctantly. Gokudera was strong– of course he was, he wasn’t Tsuna’s right hand for nothing. He just wished he could prove to you that he was strong enough for you, too… Then, that bastard that patrolled the school like some kind of obsessive freak was on his back again. Something about being late for class. Reborn showed up and solved the matter rather quickly, but that didn’t keep Gokudera from steaming out the ears for another hour or so. But the worst part of the day? It was definitely you, without a doubt. You filled his head, turning his thoughts and coherency to cotton in his head and made his mouth as dry as summer. Summer… Gokudera remembered, during lunch period, that you had gone to the beach with him and his friends. You wore a red bathing suit. Red as the fireworks at the summer festival, where he almost told you his feelings but panicked at the last second– but that was a story for another time–and, at one point, clung to his arm to whine about how hot the sun was, and how you were definitely going to get a sunburn. When Gokudera grumbled something back to you about reapplying sunscreen you had winked at him, grinning wide and asking if he wanted to help you with that. By then, there was no doubt in his mind that his milky skin was as red as your bathing suit. From his blushing, dazed haze, you managed to squeeze a frozen lemonade and a plain vanilla ice cream out of him and his wallet. “Share?” you gently cocked your head to one side and held out the icy drink for Gokudera to taste. His mouth was incredibly dry, as it always seemed to be around you– damn you, and damn him for being so weak for you– and he hesitated. You sipped your lemonade languidly and blinked up at him, heavy eyelashes fluttering and all doe-eyed, and his chest clenched in such a way that it brought him agony and ecstasy in equal measure. “Hm?” you hummed, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth to deny your offer when a heavy stream of melted ice cream rolled down the side of the cone and over your hand. A surprised yelp and a curse left your throat as you hurried to clean the treat off of the cone. When you switched the cone to your other hand to lick the drops of vanilla from your palm, Gokudera’s brain snapped back to being fully functional and he hurriedly agreed to sharing with you. As you complained once again about the heat and the lack of more interesting ice cream flavors at the snack bar, Gokudera thought of how silly he was being for thinking of sharing the ice cream as an indirect kiss– an indirect tongue kiss, more accurately. But more honestly, it was more like the two of you just swapped spit–but that’s not a very pleasant thing to think of, no matter how much he liked you. He wasn’t in middle school anymore; he shouldn’t be so swayed by this! He shouldn’t feel so hot and his heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. A cool ocean breeze swept your hair away from your face as you shook ice chunks in your frozen lemonade, loosening them enough to drink. Gokudera turned his gaze to the clear blue sea, his friends wading in it, and the lazy scrawl of puffy white clouds across the sky and he wondered if he could gather the courage to ask for a sip of the lemonade, too. If he was only going to get an indirect kiss, he wanted a proper one. Slowly coming out of his reverie, Gokudera realized he had been looking at you the whole time. The shade that Namimori cast over him wasn’t enough to cool his embarrassed blush and he hoped you hadn’t noticed. Gokudera nearly jumped out of his skin when something in his pocket buzzed. He fished out his phone– obviously, of course it was his phone. He must be more tired than he thought, to be startled by his own phone. [Baseball Freak] whatcha lookin at? Snapping his head up, Gokudera scanned his surroundings, looking for any sign of Yamamoto. God, how embarrassing to be caught staring at his crush by the person most likely to tease him about it… [Baseball Freak] up here Yamamoto was leaning out of one of the windows of a classroom far above Gokudera’s head, waving at him without a care in the world. It was then that Gokudera remembered why he was waiting outside at all, staring at you so wistfully– Tsuna and Takeshi had to attend an after school remedial session for their poor grades… No matter how many tutoring sessions they both received from Reborn and Hayato and a variety of other eccentric characters that always seemed to appear out of nowhere, they still couldn’t retain anything they learned… especially not math. Shaking his head angrily, the silver haired boy punched out a response to him but his phone buzzed again before he could send it. [Baseball Freak] see something over there u like? I think u do~~~ aren’t they just sooo cute?? >///7///< Gokudera bit his tongue. How dare Yamamoto say that about you?! It was true, he had to admit, but his pride was hurt from being so easily caught, heart read with such dead-on accuracy that he responded the only way he knew how to. [Me] PISS OFF A rich laugh filled the air above him and only served to spur Gokudera on, cracking his knuckles, clenching his jaw, and wishing he could beat Takeshi into taking what he said back. [Baseball Freak] u know, if u don’t make a move, someone else will………….they’re so pretty and smart and nice!! who wouldn’t want to date them?~ Gokudera’s rage calmed, eerily still. He knew that someone would make a move on you if he didn’t soon. He didn’t miss the way that the boys in the class would offer to carry your bags and would do anything to get just a little closer to you to sling their arms around your shoulders, pretending to show you something in a book, and to breathe in your light perfume. Or the way that girls would bite their lips and giggle when you told a joke and how they would bat their eyelashes and tease you and play with your hair just a little too much for it to be considered strictly friendly. Hayato knew he wasn’t the only person looking to add you to his dating pool and he also knew he wasn’t the best candidate to win your heart. It was a subject that often haunted his brain late at night, a miasma of doubt and self-hatred that cut deep into his heart when no one was there to see him cry. He was too loud, too violent, and too crude for someone like you to fall for. Too dangerous. It didn’t help that Yamamoto was the polar opposite of him– warm, friendly, and kind enough to be anyone’s dream man. And it definitely didn’t help that Yamamoto often wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you into his chest when there was nothing else for him to do with his hands. That happened often and made Gokudera more broken hearted than he would ever admit. [Baseball Freak] so? r u gonna say anything to them???? Gokudera had his heart set on you but his brain told him, quite logically, that you would never like someone like him back. Whoever said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was a damn fool. [Me] mind ur business. Up above, there was a sigh loud enough for Gokudera to hear and he knew instantly that he had made the wrong move. He looked up just in time to hear Yamamoto call your name in a sing-songy voice, to see him through weak, orange sun rays, waving cheerfully at you. Gokudera snapped his gaze to you to see your hair bounce with each cute head turn as you looked for the source of the voice. Yamamoto called your name again and Gokudera registered that not only had he used your first name but he added a “-chan” to the end of it– what a double-crossing bastard! You found him and Hayato’s lungs felt tight, but not as a result of his chain-smoking. Your face lit up–your pretty, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous face– and you yelled back a greeting and swung your arms around wildly back at Takeshi, heels lifting off the ground in delight with your ministrations. Hayato’s gaze flickered back up to Takeshi just in time to see the brunet pointing down at him vigorously. Your sight followed Takeshi’s direction and you locked gazes with Hayato. His breath caught somewhere between his throat and chest and his heart pounded against his ribcage, furiously trying to escape this terribly humiliating situation. Just let me know As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened slightly and you gave him an embarrassed, genuine smile as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It was strange; he didn’t think that you had anything to be embarrassed about. You were deathly adorable when excited, even if it was because you were excited to see that baseball idiot. He hoped to whatever higher being that was out there– and he knew something was out there: aliens, at least– that he hadn’t imagined that sweet, pink blush that dusted your cheeks and ears and ran down your neck. He was smiling back at you, equally as shyly, before he knew it. Well, it’s been a long time Since you’ve been lonely So what will I do? You are the right one And I’m just a boy who Is looking at you “Hey, Hayato?” you called. His spine straightened, vertebra by vertebra, at the sound of your voice. You had used his first name– sure, you had been doing it for a while, but still every time you called him so endearingly, it sent hot, smoky electricity up his spine. The way the bed sheets creased under your small body and lazy afternoon sunlight dappled your visage had his head reeling. There you were, lounging and at peace with the world, in his apartment, in his bed. “What?” He didn’t mean to sound so brusque– but then again, he doesn’t mean many of the things he says with his angry disposition. Especially to you. “Why do you turn down everyone that confesses to you? Don’t you want to… well… I don’t know, fool around with someone? I mean, we’re in highschool, this is supposed to be the most reckless time of our lives, right? Why not live a little?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling into your eyes. His fingers itched to brush it out of your face and your own fingers played with something on your phone. Probably texting, some faceless guy or girl, flirting, playing coy and– “Hayato?” He shivered, loving how his name sounded on your soft lips. “I don’t know, idiot. I’m mean, but not mean enough to do something like that to some kid stupid enough to think they like me.” He settles for brushing his own hair out of his face. You turn over on your stomach, “I guess…” Something about your tone when you say that makes Gokudera narrow his eyes in suspicion. Did something happen to you to make you upset? Why were you bringing up this topic now? Why were you bringing it up to him? “I just think it’s a waste, y’know?” you ran a hand through your hair and locked your phone, placing it to the side. Your eyes slid closed and Hayato realized how close your head was to his lap, how easily he could pet your hair and have you doze off in his embrace. You looked sleepy enough anyway– would a little nap hurt the both of you? “Hayato, don’t you know how handsome you are?” you mumbled dreamily. “You could get anyone you want, anyone, and you chose to sit here and do nothing. Why?” Hayato couldn’t think. His head was full of steel wool and his blood thrummed loudly through him. You called him handsome. You called him handsome. When his breath came back to him in a barely noticeable gasp, he couldn’t filter the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “I can’t.” “What?” your eyes slowly opened and you leaned up on an elbow, looking quizzically up at him. “I can’t get anyone I want.” “Why not?” His lungs filled shallowly and he turned his face away from you, focusing on the empty street below, through his room’s window. The sun cast golden light and deep, lavender shadows across the world and Hayato knew that if he looked at you right now, everything would go to shit. He’d see your face; all the perfections and beautiful flaws and you would see through him as if he were glass blown, see how desperate he was for you and how his insides were twisting and trembling in fear and reverence, in equal measure, of your power over him. You would recoil, disgust drawn over your lovely face in terribly sharp lines and you would see how his heart would break over and over again. “Sometimes you just can’t.” Your lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed; he could tell that much by your silence. Unsatisfied with his answer, you huffed and threw yourself back down on the bed, the crown of your head knocking against his thigh. Your hair splayed out around your face, angelic, and Hayato was lucky that your eyes had once again shut to accept the call of the dream world, because if they hadn’t, you would’ve seen how absolutely helpless he looked, gazing at you. So what will I do? His tongue darted out to smooth over his dry lower lip and he felt the faint sting of the thin skin there– cracked. He tasted iron and swallowed thickly. Gokudera wished he was closer to you, so much closer to you than he was, but he was doubtful his heart would be able to handle that. Your breathing started to slow and Hayato found his hand smoothing over your soft hair and you jolted violently, startling the both of you. You stared up at him, eyes full of stars and planets far away, and he laughed airily. He shook his head, silently telling you, No, don’t wake up just yet, everything’s fine. You accepted this without question and closed your eyes again. This time, Hayato gently slid his hands under your head and guided you towards his lap. He arranged himself comfortably on an array of flattened pillows and stroked your hair as you lay, safe and happy in his lap. A single eye peeked at him– slyly, cat-like– before you hummed and shifted closer to him. A contented sigh slipped through Hayato’s lips and he himself started to feel drowsy. In his dreamy stupor, his hand trailed down your face, down your neck, and down, down your arm until he had your fingers gently entwined with his. Sure, it may have just been an unconscious reaction, but the way your hand squeezed his back made his dreams lovely and surreal and hallucinatory, in all the best ways. I tried the wrong way I was guessing Biding my time You are the only One I can picture By my side “Gokudera, what’s up?” Takeshi nodded at the silver-haired bomber as he approached, strangely insightful today with his clear, milk chocolate eyes. The boy in question merely grumbled vaguely, hands shoved deep in his pockets, as if he was fishing for the answer to Yamamoto’s question down there as well. “That bad, huh?” Gokudera rolled his eyes. It wasn’t rare for him and Yamamoto to arrive at Tsuna’s house before the young mafia boss could flee from it, already anxious and sweaty. Today was no different. “Hey, at least you tried, right?” Yamamoto offered a weak smile, knowing how much you meant to Gokudera. His shoulders were hiked up to his ears and Takeshi didn't miss how the hot, red ring on Gokudera’s cigarette quickly crawled down to the filter before he was tapping out another from his near-empty box and sucking on the new cigarette, lighting it with the dying butt of the used one. He tossed the old one down and ground it into the asphalt. Takeshi frowned. The baseball star shifted the bag on his shoulder uncomfortably, his bats for after school practice clinking metallically. “ … I didn't.” Gokudera kept his gaze locked on a lamp post down the block. Takeshi blinked, not expecting a response from Gokudera’s sunken frame. “What?” “I didn't try.” It took Takeshi a moment to understand what Gokudera meant before grimacing with a little more than a dash of friendly pity in his eyes. He shifted his weight from his hip, seeking to comfort Gokudera, but decided against it at the last moment. “Why?” his voice came out in a gentle rasp. Gokudera still refused to look at him, green eyes clouded and trained on a particularly colorful poster on that singular lamp post. Seconds ticked by before Hayato groaned and dragged a hand down his face, pinching his cigarette in frustration with his other hand. “I can’t! I just can’t. I know they don’t feel the same and I know I’ll break if they have to say it to my face. I can’t handle that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle that. God, Yamamoto, I just can’t take that chance.” Being around them is– it’s just too much and too little for me to take– I’m going crazy here, driving myself in circles and spinning out, spinning my goddamn wheels because of them. It’s fuckin’ sickening but I don’t want a cure. I feel so helpless and I hate it, I never want to feel this way again. What the hell did I do to deserve this?” Gokudera’s eyes snapped shut, face contorted in agony. “I can’t tell them. I can’t. I want them to be happy. It’s better this way anyway. I’m not good enough.” Gokudera’s voice cracked on his last word before his declaration faded into the morning’s stillness. Yamamoto was insulted– his best friend talking about himself this way? Not in a million years, if he had any say in it– but Gokudera snapped at him before he could get a word in. “And don’t say shit about me being good enough, because we both know I’m not good enough for them. I’ll never be good enough, Yamamoto, that’s not me. I wouldn’t be able to hold them as much as I should, to kiss their gorgeous fucking face– I wouldn’t be able to be fucking honest, Takeshi. They deserve more than the bullshit excuses I’d spew to cover our fucking asses when we get the crap kicked out of us on a bi-weekly basis. They don’t deserve that.” Silence weighed like velvet over the two of them and the sun was now calling out songbirds, sleepy murmurs from the neighborhood beginning to wake from the heavy slumber of the night. Yamamoto didn’t know what to say anymore and Gokudera put the cigarette back where it belonged: between his lips, funneling poison straight to his lungs. “ … I don’t think it’s like that, Hayato. You’re being too harsh on yourself. I really don’t think they feel that way about you.” Hayato said nothing and kept his eyes glued to that single poster again. Yamamoto reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder, mustering as much comfort as he could before he knew he would overstay his welcome. Hayato needed time to clear his head. “ … I’ll go inside to check up on Tsuna. Come inside soon, alright?” The response that didn’t meet him was enough to know Gokudera wouldn’t get better as quick as that. Takeshi sighed in sorrowful compassion before slowly making his way to Tsuna’s front door, carefully piecing together his cheerful mask yet again. The door shut quietly, and voices and vague, worrisome sounds came from within. Gokudera raised his hand to scrub furiously at his misty eyes, his bracelets clinking together and rings scraping his face and leaving thin, red lines around his eyes. He leaned back against the wall around his best friend’s house and his head banged against the concrete, painful and painfully familiar to something that had happened recently, involving you. “Fuck,” he hissed into the empty street. Class was boring, as it always was. There was nothing that could entertain him that was in Namimori’s curriculum. Tsuna managed to convince Gokudera to take college classes too, so that his development wouldn’t stall (and also because Gokudera being bored meant a bit more trouble for Tsuna, but he was genuinely concerned about Gokudera’s personal growth). But even those classes were much too easy for him. Something that wasn’t easy? Seeing you every damn day and not being able to do a thing about it. Getting closer, getting further, cutting you off completely– he couldn’t bring himself to do any of those. Gokudera tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his desk and sighed, staring out the classroom window into the clear blue sky. He couldn’t wait for summer again but, boy, did he like seeing you all bundled up in wool and cashmere and simply drowning in soft fabrics and cozy patterns. You were so cute with your nose red from the cold, lips burning pink from being bitten so much– he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, no, he would take this to his grave– but what he wouldn’t give to be the one to bite your lips instead, to hear you whimper and moan, just for him, and– A small collision with the side of his head brought him out of his daydreams. Curious and annoyed, Hayato brought a hand up to his hair and picked out a crumpled wad of paper. Who the hell had the balls to throw shit at him? He was still the scariest guy in Namimori (and no, Hibari doesn’t count, either). If anything, he should be terrorizing the rest of the class. Taking a less than subtle glance around the room, he caught your eyes staring at him eagerly. Taking a moment to compose himself, he averted his gaze to your note instead. Of course it was you that threw it at him. Who else? Wanna go to a bakery after school? Kyoko-chan was talking about it earlier and I can’t get it out of my head… I’ll pay if u want!! I want cake~~~ Hayato didn’t hold back the happy grin that spread over his face, sparing a glance at you, impatiently waiting for his reply, before scribbling something in his mostly neat penmanship under your barely legible chicken scratch. No need to pay. But yeah, that sounds p cool. Meet me right after school at the front gates? The teacher still had his back turned to the class, writing something that Gokudera already knew on the blackboard, droning on and on about logs and bases and inverses and irrational numbers or something equally useless. He knocked his hand back and threw from the shoulder, the small, now neatly folded note landing in the middle of your desk. You snatched it up quickly, hiding it just in time for the teacher to turn around and call on one of your classmates to answer a question. Gokudera couldn’t see you unfold the note but your arms were moving under the desk and you grabbed a pencil off the desk too. Gokudera remembered that pencil; it was thin, cute, and pink– with a brown bear on top. The bear held a red heart and its nose was in the same cute shape. There were patterns of hearts and stars in red and yellow and white, and Gokudera knew all of this because Kyoko had helped him pick it out to give it to you for your birthday. He thought giving you a gift with so many hearts was a bit forward– tactless, even– but Kyoko gave him a stern look and told him that nothing he could do would be forward enough when it came to you and, spluttering and flushed, he tried to deny his affections for you but only ended up confessing how he felt about you to Kyoko. Smiling gently like the angel she is, Kyoko let him talk her ear off about you for nearly an hour and a half. She earned a milkshake and a slice of strawberry cake for her bravery. You spun in your chair, clutching the edge of it in your small hand, and flicked the paper back to him. The message was a little more timid, he noticed. actually, can we meet on the roof after school?.. I have something I want to talk to u about, but it shouldn’t take long… We can go straight to the bakery if u don’t want to, tho!!!!! ^v^;; Gokudera recognized how you were trying to hide something from him with your overwhelming facade of consideration. Whenever you felt insecure about something, you always spent time making sure other people felt more comfortable and happy than you were, as if that would make you feel better yourself. A frown carried over his pale face and when he looked up, you were staring at him again. This time, you seemed to have carefully examined his face and your brows were furrowed. As soon as you met his eyes, you jumped, shaking your head and waving your hands to tell him, Don’t mind me, it’s nothing. Gokudera was just about to pen down a reply when the teacher turned around again and began talking to the class, not looking like he was going to turn his back on Gokudera any time soon. Hayato caught your eyes with his green ones and nodded quickly, mouthing ‘I’ll be there.’ Lunch was as it normally was. That is, filled with shouts and explosions and general chaos. However, this lunch period was noisier than it previously had been; a fact that only would have been noticed by the people present if they paid very careful attention to their volume. Gokudera noticed. Damn right, he noticed. Sure, you usually sat next to Takeshi. Sure, you had a habit of clinging to him as you laughed and whispering in his ear. And sure, sometimes you would call him Take-chan as you fed him bits of your own bentou– a fact that pissed Gokudera off endlessly. But what was different? Today you were nestled in Yamamoto’s side, tucked neatly away under his arm which alternated from wrapping around your shoulders to hold you to him and pulling you in by your waist to bring you nearly onto his lap. It stung Gokudera something awful. Watching the two of you laugh and whisper to each other felt like you had run Hayato’s heart over shrapnel and soothed his wounds with lemon and salt. He averted his jealous, but startlingly gentle gaze from you to the sky above you, willing tears not to come and cursing himself for feeling this way about you. “Hey, Take-chan!” You tugged on his shirt, the fabric over his chest, to bring his attention back to you. “Hmm?” You stole a glance at Gokudera and whispered giddily into Yamamoto’s ear. When you’re finished, Yamamoto made a sound that can only be described as pure elation, and he tugged you in even closer, tickling you in the process. You laughed and shrieked at him to stop and he only did so when you’re nearly in tears. Tsuna is having a muted conversation with Gokudera and he is trying to pay attention– honest– Gokudera is trying so goddamn hard, but it’s next to impossible when a grass-green snake hisses low in his belly over you writhing and laughing so happily in Takeshi’s lap. Yamamoto whispered hotly back into your ear and Gokudera sees something he wished he would never see from the two of you: you, with a hot blush crawling up your neck and Takeshi with his face practically in the crook of it, grinning all pearly white and eyes staring at you with such fucking dedicated tunnel vision. Gokudera wasn’t hungry anymore. Lunch ended and you gave Yamamoto one last quick hug before cleaning up your trash and putting everything away that you wanted to keep. Gokudera was slower than normal, taking all the time in the world and then some to get ready for class again. The door to the roof clanged shut and Gokudera let out a heavy sigh, eyes closed and trying to feel everything that he could– everything except his feelings, that is. He relished the cool breath of wind that blew against his face, tossing his hair around and whistling softly to him. He took account of the ground beneath him, hard and sturdy, and the sounds of teenagers filtering back into the school, complaining about their classes and each other. The one thing he didn’t hear–not until it was too late– was you. “Hayato?” you tugged on the back of his shirt, scaring him witless. He yelped like a kicked puppy and spun around to face you, composure long lost. He tried to say something but nothing left his lips; nothing coherent, at least. The hand that grasped his shirt didn’t cease touching him. It got even closer than before as you took a step, and then another, into his personal space. The height difference between you was just too much for him to handle and Gokudera felt himself simultaneously trying to pale and flush, unsure which won over in the end. Your hand slid along his waist, his side, and up his chest lightly. The smile that took root on your face was weak and bashful, even– and you bumped your forehead on his chest before you looked back up at him, an emotion he didn’t recognize dancing in your eyes. “Don’t forget, we’re meeting here after school, Hayato. You wouldn’t want to keep me waiting, would you?” Your finger tapped his chest teasingly, adding another beat to his pulse and he felt fire crawl up the base of spine at your nail scraping through his shirt. You blinked curiously up at him and his voice whispered to you, hoarse and against his will, “No, I wouldn’t.” Satisfied with that, you made sure that he had everything he had brought up to the roof with him, promptly forced him to offer his elbow to you, and curled yourself happily over his arm before leading the both of you down the stairs to finish the rest of the day’s lessons. The roof was empty except for Gokudera. As soon as school was over, he bid Tsuna and Yamamoto goodbye, telling them not to wait up for him. Yamamoto had a big, stupid grin on his face– But when does he not? Gokudera rationalized. There was something about that smile that showed that he knew more than he let on but Gokudera was much too preoccupied with thoughts of you to care. He leaned against the rails, not trusting it to hold him, careful not to put too much weight on it. He took a steadying breath. Breathe. It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. But no matter what he told himself to stop the rapid, staccato drumming in his chest, his anxieties were not relieved in the slightest. He was afraid– god, how he was afraid. What did you want to talk to him about? Did you not want to be friends anymore? Did you grow tired of him? Did… Did you want to tell him you were dating Takeshi? “Hayato?” oh fuck Gokudera jumped. The amount of times you scared him witless was embarrassingly high. “Hey.” You smiled slightly. “Hey.” Something about you was different. Something was… off. The way your eyes drifted from him every other second before coming back to his concerned gaze was unusual, but even more unusual was the way your hands fidgeted behind your back. “So,” Hayato tried to get the words to come out. The light breeze that tossed your hair around your face in a halo didn’t help much, but he appreciated it anyway. “What’d you wanna talk about? I’m hungry as fuck.” It slipped out– Hayato’s cursing habit hijacked his mouth, nerves making him go on autopilot. At least you took it well; your eyes glinted in amusement and some of the tension between the two of you dissipated. A pink tongue darted out to soothe your dry lips and Hayato was a little too aware of it. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while, but I just didn’t know how to tell you– it’s a bit… embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me, okay?” Your mouth was set in a firm line, eyes pleading and vulnerable. “Sure.” That wasn’t the reply you wanted but it was what it was. By my side “I…” you began, then lost the words you had planned. “You?..” Gokudera offered. He wasn’t sure he was ready for what you wanted to tell him or what it entailed, but he was sure that if it meant your happiness, he would do anything at all to keep you smiling. “It’s just that… You know, I–” you fumble over your words, frustration visible on your face. Gokudera scolded himself for thinking of you in this way when you so clearly don’t want him but he can’t help it. He’s worried over your affect on him before, but he never considered how weak he is to you or how strong your natural beauty is under the glow of a late afternoon and the crinkle of your brow with your courageous efforts… courageous efforts that you try to spell out but they fail, perched above your tongue. Your soft hands come down in frustration upon the hem of your shirt and you try again, slip again, and Gokudera is privy to the realization that this isn’t something he should take lightly any longer, no matter how much it calms his nerves or keeps him from facing the possible reality of him losing you. He leans forward to grasp your hands from distressing your shirt, to keep you from distressing yourself, with full knowledge that this moment could be the end of you allowing him to be graced with your presence. Hayato decided that your momentary comfort before unleashing hell on him was worth more than a thousand lifetimes of you by his side in the masquerade mask of lukewarm passion if you backed down from rejecting him now. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” And he touched you and nearly recoiled when your face whipped up to meet his, nearly let go of you because your skin was hot as forged iron and nearly as red. He tried to let go but you wouldn’t stand for it, as you used his hands over your shoulders as leverage to place your palms, clammy and shaking, over his smooth cheekbones and bring his face down to yours. Hayato’s eyes were wide as he met your lips, glossed and smooth and clearly prepped for this specific moment, specific kiss, specifically with him and he could have withered away in embarrassment of his rough mouth and nicotine lungs if it weren’t for how warm you were against him and how securely you held him, despite how insecure you had been seconds prior. Gokudera barely has the brains left to close his eyes on the skyline of Namimori but when he does he sees stars and he kisses you back and there’s a scrape of his teeth against your bottom lip and you shiver and he groans into you and now he’s just as red, if not redder, than you are. A slick noise of separation, then the both of you don’t know how to deal with the awkward intimacy of it, or what to do with your hands, but Hayato managed to gather enough sense– or maybe he’s running on what he’s fantasized on doing after your first kiss together and is on a daydream-guided autopilot– and he brings you into a tight hug and buried his head into your wild hair. You laugh into his chest and when he tried to bring you out to ask you why, you clung to his wrinkled white shirt even more and blindly found his hands, tangled with his bracelets and rings, then laced your fingers soundly with his. Gokudera can hardly believe the kiss happened, can believe he’s still alive even less, but he’s sure you can hear the quickened palpitations of his heart and that notion does no good for his health either. You’re an absolute dream and Gokudera is ready and happy to die right there, but you pull away from him, hands still interwoven, and smile so beautifully that he is sure that angels exist and you’re the vision of seraphim, disguised as human so barely that if you were anymore angelic he would surely fall dead where he stood, kiss-dizzy and sweetly dazed. From his dazed mouth, stupidity falls out. “So what was it that you had to tell me?” You laugh and press a kiss– more confidently this time– to his collarbone. At his affirmative, stuttered, elated hum, you press another and another, up his neck and jawline and chin until you reach his lips again and he kisses you back with adoration and love and his still evolving understanding of your feelings for him. “I’m not sure how to say it any clearer,” you said with a laugh that rang like the church bells that sounded in Gokudera’s head as clearly as he imaged they would on your wedding day, as he pressed his own kisses all over your face and held you close with the intention of treasuring you as long as he had a pulse and then some. “Hayato, I really, really like you.” And that was the day that Gokudera Hayato had come to face the reality, one that he had long accepted, that he loved you more than anything and you felt the same, but most importantly, that you were the right one for him. And that he was the right one for you.

#gokudera hayato #gokudera hayato/reader #gokudera hayato x reader #reborn #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #reborn fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #gokudera

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handlingthis-megara-blog · 5 years

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Megara Tilusi Gonzalez Egan – Character Sheet

i'm bad at love / but you can't blame me for tryin' /you know i'd be lyin' sayin' / you were the one / that could finally fix me / lookin' at my history / i'm bad at love / oh, you know, you know, you know, you know / i'm bad at love / i'm bad at love

i know that you're afraid / i’m gonna walk away / each time the feeling fades / each time the feeling fades / i know that you're afraid / i'm gonna walk away / each time the feeling fades

Archetype — The Adventurer Birthday — November 1, 1985 Zodiac Sign — Scorpio sun, Sagittarius rising, Gemini moon MBTI — ENTP Enneagram — 5: the Investigator Temperament — Melancholic Hogwarts House — Ravendor Moral Alignment — Chaotic Neutral Primary Vice — Greed Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Margaret Gonzalez Egan Father — Ahsan Egan (nee Haroun) Mother’s Occupation — Abandoned Meg, so who gives a fuck, right? (She’s a police officer, ex-military, random hc: she works with Copper, bc I always make everyone from Cork.) Father’s Occupation — Writer/stay at home dad. Family Finances — Not great, not terrible. Birth Order — Only child. Brothers — None. Sisters — None. Other Close Family — None, her father doesn’t talk to his family in India and her mother’s family was never in the picture. Best Friend — None. Other Friends — None. Enemies — Ninsun, but she also sorta likes her? It’s fucked up. Her ex--Canis Greenleaf. Pets — None, though Ninsun takes the form of a sandy colored Persian cat. Home Life During Childhood — It started out pretty good, when she was five, they moved to Iraq because of her mom’s work. (She was a technician for the military, high ranking, she wasn’t out in the field.) They moved back to Ireland when Meg was ten. Her mom left abruptly when she was thirteen. She found out later that her parents had been fighting for a while and it wasn’t as abrupt as she thought. Still, her mom didn’t even say goodbye to her or anything, so that sucked. She rebelled as a young teen, smoked, did (minor) drugs, etc, etc. Had a boyfriend at the age 13. Once she got into secondary, she settled down a bit because she was actually being challenged in school and really enjoyed herself. Town or City Name(s) — Cork, Ireland -- Baghdad, Iraq -- Cork, Ireland What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Posters everywhere, always looked like a tornado had blown through. Oscillated between girly and punk. Any Sports or Clubs — Book club, chess club, football Favorite Toy or Game — Crosswords. Also Clue. Schooling — Went to public schools and military schools, got her undergrad at Dublin, masters at Oxford, PhD at Cambridge and then La Sorbonne. Favorite Subject — History Popular or Loner — Loner, but had a loyal group. Important Experiences or Events — Her mother leaving/getting accepted to school/living in Saudi/her experience with her ex Nationality — Irish Culture — an Irish/Indian/Middle Eastern hybrid Religion and beliefs — Spiritual, but doesn’t exactly have a religion, much to her father’s dismay.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim — Summer Bishil Complexion — Golden/brown Hair Colour — Dark brown Eye Colour — Brown Height — 5’3 Build — short but kind of sporty/curvy Tattoos — probably one or two Piercings — ears, had a septum when she was younger, has a nose piercing. Common Hairstyle — usually down or in a high pony, occasionally a braid. Clothing Style — a little femme punk is probably the best way to describe it. Leather jacket, dark wash jeans, boots. Mannerisms — purses her lips a lot, can talk animatedly with her hands and body when she gets passionate about something, but tends to be rather still otherwise. Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — not really? Travel always makes her a little sick though. Physical Ailments — well sometimes her eye sees into the underworld which can give her mad vertigo lol Neurological Conditions — none Allergies — none Grooming Habits — loves a good groom; treats herself to baths n face masks n such all the time Sleeping Habits — not so great these days, underworld nightmares, am I right? Eating Habits — good, she doesn’t eat beef, loves a good salad, a good curry, lots of protein and good for you food. Exercise Habits — tries to exercise regularly in a lowkey way, though she has gotten a little worse in the last few months. Emotional Stability — hot temper but tries to control it behind an air of indifference. Body Temperature — runs a little cold, especially these days Sociability — used to be much more extroverted than she is now. Extroversion is her natural setting. Addictions — knowledge. Drug Use — in secondary Alcohol Use — frequent

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — abrasive, snarky, untrusting Good Habits — loyal af, self care af Best Characteristic — loyalty and being like a dog w a bone when faced with a problem. Worst Characteristic — not letting anyone in Worst Memory — finding Canis cheating Best Memory — going on her first dig! Proud of — her degree Embarrassed by — her feelings lol Driving Style — a lil reckless Strong Points — fierce, loyal, smart, a bad bitch Temperament — easy and quick to anger, always bitter Attitude — needs an adjustment Weakness — her heart and thirst for knowledge Fears — becoming invisible (not successful in her career, with no friends.) Phobias — none Secrets — so many Regrets — Canis. Feels Vulnerable When — she feels emotions for someone Pet Peeves — so many things but mansplaining is the original sin Conflicts — trust v preservation Motivation — being successful af Short Term Goals and Hopes — publish a book Long Term Goals and Hopes — be the best known in her field Sexuality — bisexual Day or Night Person — night Introvert or Extrovert — introverted extrovert Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist af

Likes and Styles:

Movies — Indiana Jones, The Mummy Movies--the classic archaeological films, of course. Also into horror movies and slashers, to the concern of her parents. Though, she also had a soft spot for certain romances: Titanic and Moulin Rouge. Her absolute favorite is Big Fish. Good luck prying that out of her. Books — loves books. Prefers nonfiction but can get into a good fiction. Magazines — none Foods — Indian food. The thing she always missed being away from home was her dad’s cooking. Drinks — Big water drinker. A water with a little lemon is her go to. Also, vodka with a little lemon. She’s not picky. Especially these days. What? She can hold her alcohol. Animals — Owls, or púcaí, which is an Irish creature that was always benevolent to Meg, since she was born on Puca day. Sports — loves a good game of football Social Issues — women’s rights, anything discriminatory she’s fiercely against Favorite Saying — some old middle eastern proverb probably Color — purples and pinks, they’re soft, lovely colors. She doesn’t wear them very often, but they’re definitely her favorites. She has like purple binders and a purple phone case, stuff like that, where you can definitely pick up on her favorite. Though, her favorite shade is probably a magenta kind of color, as that is what the “purple” of the ancient world would look like. She also is a big fan of turquoise and owns a lot of turquoise jewelry, both because she likes it and also because it has protective powers. Clothing — loves her leather jacket, wears lots of boots and darker colors. Jewelry — usually can be seen wearing a decent amount of jewelry. Games — clue is her fave, also likes word games and puzzle games, etc. Music — Dad rock. Loves KISS, Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam, The National, Counting Crows. Classics like Queen and the Beatles, etc. She also loves some good girl groups and artists. Definitely a fan of Florence and Beyonce, Elle King, Ginny Wigmore, Aretha Franklin, Christina Aguilera--I could keep going. She’s an avid music-consumer. Definitely that person that hung posters on their wall and was obsessed with certain band members and groups. Greatest Want — to be the very best, like no one ever was Greatest Need — to learn to trust in her heart

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — Castle Suites Household furnishings — modern n chic, tho also lots of books Favorite Possession — probably her books Most Cherished Possession — the recipe book her dad gave her when she moved out the first time. Married Before — nope, was secretly engaged though Significant Other Before — a few dates here or there but she was always focused on her studies Children — god no Relationship with Family — she’s a daddy’s girl for sure, but they’ve been distant since the Ifrit. Car — none, she can drive tho Career — archaeologist/professor Dream Career — exactly what she’s doing Dream Life — exactly her life minus the huge betrayal and the Ifrit. Though, the Ifrit has its perks. Love Life — no. Talents or Skills — has access to pretty unlimited knowledge thanks to the Ifrit, but she’s hella smart on her own. Knows several languages, also really sharp reflexes. Intelligence Level — high Finances — stable

#about #inspiration #character sheet #my BABE #man i'm so ready

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gg-astrology · 6 years

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Based off of jungkook’s chart, what physical attributes would attract him? I’ve read that he would really like feminine/girly girls bc of his libra venus and rising. Is that true?

Hey there! 💕 Thanks for the ask! 💕

Ahh, personally, unless it came from the artist themselves (and is accurate since some don’t remember their exact time), I don’t usually use rising signs for idol reading since it’s unconfirmed. So for this, I’m going to use his inner placements (Virgo Sun | Leo Moon | Virgo Mercury | Libra Venus | Scorpio Mars ) without the rising, ok?

Also, I’m going to interpret this as the physical attribute he would be drawn to for romantic candidates, not just for sexual relationships.

Note: This is just my interpretation of his chart. It’s not a definite telling of what he likes, every interpretation is different so you can choose what you think fits most!

[Below cut: JK’s: Ideal Attractive Physical Attributes (+ placements)]

I outlined this already, but the mind matters more for JK. So basing this on the last few paragraphs of JK: Ideal type , I think in terms of detailing the physical attributes he’d be attracted to: it would come down to core strength and consistency ( the kind of beauty that means someone is trying to take care of themselves whether they have time to or not)

You know like, people who exude more Virgo-healer/care-giver type vibe? Not the self-deprecation, not the stressfulness of the Virgo. But someone who embodies what Virgo is, at it’s best. The what could-be’s of actual Virgo in full developed stages. That’s something inspirational for him to draw from. So someone who might have a lot of Capricorn/Taurus in their chart who exhibits the ‘absent’ Virgo because of their overall placements might have that.

(It’s because his Virgo Sun/Merc | Libra Venus is also kind of half-in love with the idea of someone who takes care of themselves, and is considered healthier than them as well.)

The ‘busy-bodiness’ of the person appeals to him, it’s the type of fire-sign energy (or Cardinal energy). Someone who’s not afraid to do stuff or instigate something (Leo Moon). But also someone who works well in group settings (Libra Venus) and is a team player.

It’s mostly to do with his temperament (Leo Moon) being able to keep up with the person’s activities (doesn’t feel drain or dragged) but also admiring them for being proficient in the things he values (social relations and being adequate in them - Virgo Sun/Merc)

Think about it, JK cares about his team members. So someone who can work with people is important to him. If they share the same values, they have something in common to respect in each other (Virgo Sun-Merc/Leo Moon - respect is important)

Someone who fights passionately for what they believe in (strong Mercury) and isn’t afraid to speak their minds in regards to others. (help others: Leo/Pisces) Someone who might often find themselves fighting for a humanitarian cause (Aquarius) and works hard for their job (Capricorn), but isn’t dismissive to him about it (like, cares about him but also have their own work to do - Sagittarius).

He respect someone who seems like they’ll put effort into relationships with others/treats others fairly. (Libra) He wants someone who has some grounding placement in them (Virgo) and caring enough to acknowledge him in passing if they meet (Leo).

He mentioned his ideal ‘height requirement’ before? That’s probably more indicative of his taste, since he says so himself.

The whole height thing might have more to do with the person not looking like they’re physically weak. Therefore not being helpless when he’s not around to ‘guard’ or ‘protect’ them. Someone with a smaller height might probably appeal to the ‘must protect’ instinct in people. It’s about presence, but also dependability you feel when you’re around someone close to/towers above you.

If he has to feel like he’s constantly worried about his partner, then it’s not a balanced relationship to him. If his partner is tiny, then he might feel obligated to think he has to take care of them. And when he’s taking care of them, it feels like he doesn’t have the time or freedom to do what he wants/his job/hang out with others. Thus as outlined above, someone caring but independent and a reliability about them.

He feels like if the other person can take care of themselves, then he won’t have to worry about leaving them alone. I don’t think he’d actively look for someone of the petite/frail, but someone who looks like they can pull their own weight in places. Presence, in social domain. Someone who’s not to be messed with even if they’re on the smaller side of things. He did say he looks for someone who seems like they’re healthy. Healthy here might be physically and mentally at the same time. (inner and outer strength - core strength)

It’s not about feminine/girly-girls, if you think about it JK is a bit of a nervous wreck and kind of needs time to open up to someone (girl or otherwise). Someone who kind of acts a certain way and expects him to take initiative?

That Virgo/Libra wouldn’t make the first move in a million years. His Leo Moon would like the attention sure, the bravado and expectation of playing the gender role of a classical romance is appealing. But the actuality of it with his overall chart? Less likely than you think!

Personally, he’s way too anxious to approach someone. Especially romantically. Unless he’s caught respect for them on first impression (Virgo Mercury) he’s going to be intensely critical of the person until he’s convinced himself he doesn’t like them. If he does actually like someone (see: admire them for a period of time) he’ll go into observation mode. It’s like a safari with him. He’s fascinated by the lion but he doesn’t want to approach the lion just yet. He has to gather everything (Virgo) before he can make his move.(Libra)

So the feminine girly-girls? likely idea, but maybe not thought through to applicability. If you look at it from his perspective, what he can do and what he wants to do sometimes doesn’t align. To a Leo Moon, that kind of embarrassment just isn’t going to be worth it for him. (examples: summer package yoonkook introduction, as well as run ep.56 where he gets nervous just saying his poems to his hyungs.) Whether he pursues them in public or private, putting himself out there isn’t going to be his forte.

So what are the alternatives:

I think he’d go for more of the next-door-effortlessly-beautiful type? Au natural, but the focus here is more on their hard-working nature.

Maybe sometimes, the person is consumed by larger things in life that they don’t tend to focus on the vanity side of things (which he can help them balance it out due to Libra Venus).

The person can forget about their appearance sometimes, but they take care of themselves. The person is consistently healthy, and has a good skin texture because they eat well. (Which his Virgo will place importance on– it’s weird, but it’s a sensory thing as well as a core value thing.)

The person isn’t so self-conscious, but they’re more confident in themselves and their work. Their beauty can be understated, as long as they don’t have extremely-lowered self-esteem issues, or let vanity get to their head. He can help with that (Leo/Libra), but he needs to know the person not using him for it (put in work on their own part, transparency, treats him fairly.)

The person have to be pure-hearted, in terms of their intensions with him (Virgo/Leo/Libra makes this very clear that it’s important). They have to stay consistent that way throughout the entirety of their relationship (before and after getting together).

Someone who’s un-intimidating to approach, that he feels can meets him halfway (Libra Venus). Someone who’s kind of laid back and approachable, isn’t perfect and has small imperfections he can help with. Sees things as a collaborative effort on both parties to help each other out.

Someone who might be more likely to initiate things, he’d want to learn how to be more socially out-going/helpful. While he wants to help them grow as a person as well (whatever they need - Virgo Sun/Mercury ‘serving’). This way, it feels like an effort on both their part (Libra - fairness). There’s some initiation and action they’re both contributing to the relationship (Scorpio Mars) and it’s helping fuel it forward in a way.

So yeah, someone who doesn’t necessarily have to be a full on feminine/girl-girl. But can just take care of themselves.

If they can wear jeans/shirt or a simple outfit and still look pretty – he’d be into it.

So that’s my answer who who I think JK will be attracted to!💕

Also, as a note going forward. I’m going to try to be as gender-neutral as possible with my ideal type replies.

The asks will still apply to those of you who goes by ‘she/her’, but please be equally aware that when you describe your ideal type it rarely comes down to just ‘manly men’ or ‘goths only’ either. Everyone’s ideal type is complex and full of spectrum/criteria makes them ideal to them.Simplifying that complexity down to a trope is a disservice to people.

Thanks again for the ask! I hope this answers your question! 💕

#asks #bts asks #jk asks #jk ideal type #jk ideal type asks

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obeetlebeetle · 6 years

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Do the rest of the ocean asks!!

pearl: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?i know i always say venice but... how many times can u say venice?? i wanna go there so badly.sails: describe your perfect partner.o man... i mean everyone has their own complexities so in broad strokes... someone who is emotionally intelligent, who can handle their feelings and is comfortable expressing them, bc that's such an important part of relating to others. someone kind, compassionate, and optimistic - i admire that kind of strength. someone who wants to grow and keeping changing things for the better. someone creative and intelligent, who i can really talk to, who wants to listen to my dumb ideas too. most of all someone who wants to build a strong, lasting love. someone who can be very serious and genuine abt their relationships, bc even if plans change i would still want to love each other as friends.lighthouse: how much makeup do you wear?a little cover-up if i'm breaking out but day to day i don't often go for it. i will do a full look for special occasions tho bc i like looking pretty.shells: would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf?answered!mermaid: most embarrassing moment?well. there have been A Lot of those. probably when i passed out at marching practice?turquoise: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?had a dream where i had to stop a mouse from controlling a country. the mouse gave orders by playing a piano, my base was a candy store inside a volcano, and i could fly using sheets of glass.waves: favourite season and why?winter bc Cold ❤❄breakers: would you ever consider getting married?hell yeah! it's not a Necessity for a happy and fulfilling life but i would love to settle down w a spouse i adore and maybe kids.seafoam: describe your ideal summer vacation.answered!rain: if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet?not Super exotic but a flying fox!sunlight: least favourite song?whoa wild question. probably that nasty "blurred lines" shit that came out in hs.marine: would you ever consider plastic surgery?nah i don't think so.sea glass: what do you consider to be your best physical feature?answered!storm: do you like piercings and tattoos? Why or why not?answered!boardwalk: who is your favourite fictional couple?darcy and lizzie my good bitch!!!!coral: if you had to describe your personality as a food, what would you be and why?cornbread. kind of plain, and if ur not familiar w it kind of an acquired taste, but a reliable staple for those who dig me!nymph: old-fashioned or modern decor? old-fashioned...... i love that Romantic shit.seawater: scariest movie you’ve ever watched?tbh the woman in black really got me.siren: in a fantasy setting, would you be a warrior, rogue or mage?answered!tempest: your favourite Pokemon?tropius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🍌🌴tropic: what is your least favourite thing about your appearance?i don't like my jawline, it's kinda weak and gaining weight didn't help that at all.aquamarine: describe your dream date.i pick them up in my car - a playlist i spent days working on is playing but we don't even listen to it bc we're talking the whole time. we spend all day going to museums or gardens or aquariums or galleries... anywhere we can walk around together holding hands and still talking abt everything we see. when the sun begins to dip we get cheap takeout and go watch the sunset over the lake or the ocean or the fields. the best view we can find. and we're still talking, the playlist is long over, the stars decorate the night sky. we don't go home until we realize, laughing, how late it is. i take them home while they doze, and i start the music up again, music that makes me think of them.brine: gold or silver?silver looks better on me!tidal: what is a colour that best describes your personality?answered!azure: what is something that you do that makes you happy?i like to take a drive out to somewhere pretty and sit by myself for a bit.fog: describe where you think you’ll be in five years.hopefully... graduated with a master's degree, working in publishing. maybe even past an entry level job, making enough to help pay for a small place i share with friends, or a partner, people i love that i can spend my time with. i have a cat and a stack of books to read. i call my parents every weekend. more of an ideal than anything but o well.coastline: what is your favourite flower?you know ;)shallows: what is your typical Starbucks order?answered!voyage: what are your favourite names?answered!shipwreck: do you have an OC? If so, describe them. i have... a lot. describe them all, together, in One Go? Brats.cerulean: do you believe in true love?idk what that means but i believe in love for sure.shoreline: if you could become fluent in another language, which would you pick and why?ahhhhh omg......... i always wanted to learn italian.tsunami: describe a dream outfit of yours.pls............ google "erk fire emblem"riptide: are you introverted or extroverted? Are you happy with this?introverted! and yeah i'm comfortable.hurricane: describe a strange habit of yours.answered!

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spideyxchelle · 7 years

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i think u did one nsfw headcanon once and i don't wanna be that one bitch but like michelle would definitely have a muscle kink and be hella embarrassed about it bc one day she sees peter kickin ass on the news and just other things and general and when peter finally starts to notice he thinks it's really hot :')

tbh, fam, I’m surprised more of us aren’t on this kind of stuff. because…..he’s a superhero and she’s basically a model. they’re aesthetically pleasing people. this kind of stuff FOR SURE is a thing. juuuuust sayin’…

MJ is not the kind of person that is dazzled by the western standard of beauty. she knows that different physiques are all beautiful and that the idea of “model beauty” is as dated as the patriarchy. tbh, she’s more invested in a person’s personality, their laugh, how smart they are, etc.

and its THESE reasons she gets a crush on peter parker.

he’s cute, she supposes. like, she’s not BLIND but it doesn’t matter to her, you know?? its all unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

and she’s knows he’s fit because, lols, she knows he’s Spider-man. he and ned are the LEAST subtle people on the planet and if they wanted to keep his secret identity a secret they would not talk about spidey stuff so loud in gym class. it’s almost embarrassing.

not that she tells them she knows. its not on her list of important things to chat about with team rocket, lbr. actually, she doesn’t talk to them much at all. she sits with them in study hall and at lunch and hangs out at the Parker residence for movie night and she’d say they’re a solid trio now (once Liz moved away). but it doesn’t mean that she talks to them.

Peter, damn him, doesn’t let the fact that she’s mostly silent around them get to him. once they become proper friends he takes every opportunity to do things that might get her to speak to him. he buys her favorite teas and rents her favorite movies for movie night and goes with her to film festivals and BLM marches. and she does talk to him but not much.

and she tries to ignore the absolute pounding in her chest whenever he smiles when she talks. he always looks so delighted by the sound of her voice. and she doesn’t want to let it get to her. but lols it totally does.

but everything changes four months into their weird friendship junior year when she flicks on the news and sees absolute adorable loser Peter Parker webslinging around downtown Queens. and she, like, notices how the spandex make him look. answer? hot. he looks so hot it nearly wounds her.

he’s got a six pack, that much she can tell from the suit, and she’s a little embarrassed to admit that his ass is cute. she would never call an ass cute before Peter Parker. damn him. and his arms?? his arms are a problem.

when her big sister walks into the room and spots her watching spidey on the news, MJ fumbles to change the channel but its too late. and she gets teased pretty mercilessly all night.

the following day at school she keeps peaking over at Peter to see if she can spot the same things she did in the suit but its hard when he wears baggy t-shirts and kaikis and floppy sneakers. she has a fleeting thought that he might be better at hiding his secret identity than she previously thought. because she wouldn’t look at Peter Parker and see everything that was going on in that suit. and there was STUFF going on in that suit.

until gym class. gym class is the problem. because he wears a short sleeve shirt and shorts and his calfs are THERE and his arms are gorgeous. his arms might actually case her physical pain.

she watches his every motion in gym, while he’s pretending that he’s too weak to participate, and his arms are better in motion. if that’s even possible. and she tries to hide her staring behind her book but it doesn’t last. because FUCKING FLASH yells across the room “Yo Jones, see something you like?!” and she startles and drops her book.

the whole gym goes quiet and everyone looks over at her. like…wtf is happening. because Flash isn’t even being subtle about laughing at the fact that she was staring at Peter. “nerd love, isn’t that cute, guys??” even Peter looks at her and she flushes bright red, collects her book, storms past Flash and punches his shoulder before exiting the gym.

when she finally leaves the bathroom when the bell rings (because yea, she was embarrassed enough to seek refuge in the girls’ room) she pretty much avoids all of the crowds and goes to lunch….where she doesn’t sit with Peter and Ned.

avoiding them is easy for the first ten minutes until they migrate over to her table and Peter sits opposite of her and Ned sits next to her. and the two boys smile soft. like they’ve discussed the best way to poke the bear. she’s the bear and semi-proud of it.

“MJ-” Peter tries. and she panics. she doesn’t want to talk about the fact that his arms have her insides all fucked up. so instead of dealing with the reality of the situation (her big, fat crush on him) she says, “I know you’re Spider-man.” and BOTH BOYS SHUT UP. BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT EXPECTING THAT.

she briefly celebrates catching them off guard. and then, like a dam breaks, the two boys start fumbling to try and explain that away, like he’s not Spider-man. pfft. its not like she’s stupid. damn. these two.

she cuts them off and lies easily, “that’s why I was watching you in gym, Parker. super strength and all.”

and she notices that he looks a little deflated at that. because he is deflated, he wanted her to be looking at him for reasons unrelated to Spider-man, not that he’d ever say.

then, Ned grins really big and whispers so loudly that it almost sounds like he’s yelling “this is so great! somebody else knows. ugh, you have no idea how hard it was to keep this a secret, man.” “shut up, Ned,” Peter hisses. and he gets more serious than MJ’s ever seen him. “you can’t tell anyone.” she rolls her eyes and says, “I would’ve told people months ago if I was gonna snitch. your secrets safe.”

and it feels like she’s dodged a bullet. the gym thing is written off as her being suspicious about Spider-man. and her crush is kept buried as it should be. hmph.

but now that she knows the boys are all intent to get her involved. and she has to admit she loves running patrols with them. her and Ned have the best time roasting Peter over headset and Peter takes it like a champ. and sometimes, when Peter goes awol (he turns off his headset), MJ and Ned make elaborate lists of ways they are gonna murder him for being so irresponsible. Ned’s favorite is “carving out his insides with a spoon” and MJ’s is “slowly killing him over the course of several months with daily doses of poison”. and frankly these jokes make it easier for them to not worry while he’s gone awol. it gives them something to do other than be absolutely terrified. its a coping mechanism and it amuses Peter too. he even frames some of them and puts them on his bedroom wall.

by and large, being team Spider-man is great…but, unhelpfully, it means she spends more time with them. and lots of time with Peter in the suit. and she can’t help but oogle him. because holy crap. she’s above western beauty standards, she is.

sort of. his muscles should be illegal. OKAY?

and at first its a non-issue because when he catches her looking she’ll glare at him. like she’s checking him for injuries or some lie. but then, um, she’s pretty sure he catches on. because he starts fucking with her.

like she’ll be sitting at his desk in his room and he walk up behind her so his front is flush against her back and reach his arm up to grab something off the shelf above his desk. and its never quick. no, he takes his fuuuuucking time, the asshole. and her breath always catches, like she can’t breathe. and he smiles like an asshole and always mumbles a “sorry”. SORRY? what a dick. she hates him.

and he does other stupid shit, like he’ll take his shirt off in front of her and smirk. when she rolls her eyes and tells him to put his clothes on, he always pouts and is like “but its hot”. and omg it really is.

and in school he’s taken to wearing short sleeve shirts and sitting in his chair like he’s lounging. his arms behind his head so he’s flexing. and she KNOWS its for her benefit. asshole.

and between the flexing and the shirts and the shirtLESS-ness and the nonsense with him always finding an excuse to touch her/lean up behind her…MJ feel on edge. ALL THE TIME. all the time.

and she knows she’s playing into his hands. because she doesn’t look away whenever he does that kind of stuff. oh no. she stares because she can’t help it. and then she gets mad at herself because why did she STARE?!

it all comes to a head when the summer rolls around and Peter basically decides that shirts are illegal. and Queens is not that hot in the summer. his shirtless is just to get her to drool. and if Peter is trying to get to her, well, he does.

they’re hanging out in her bedroom. and he makes a grand show of talking about how “its so hot, MJ, ugh.” and she nearly tells him to stop but then the shirt is off…and and and…

she pleads momentary insanity. that’s how she explains it away later, at least.

MJ’s hand reaches out and touches his chest. like, its there. and it demands to be touched. so that’s what she does. her hands are cold and he hisses but he’s frozen. and she nearly snarks about where all that confidence from the last few months went. but she doesn’t. because they’re all of the sudden very close and the sexual tension between the two of them is palpable. its been palpable for months.

they don’t move. they barely breathe. and she gulps, “I shouldn’t have-”

but she doesn’t get to finish that thought. because Peter is grabbing her by the back of the neck and yanking her into his chest and kissing her like a starving man.

she doesn’t even really kiss back because she’s so taken aback by the whole move. but then his free hand slithers around her waist and she’s suddenly chest to chest with him. and the muscles are kryptonite.

MJ makes a little noise at the back of her throat and her arms wind around her neck and the hand that was cradling the back of her head joins the hands around her waist. and they’re clinging to each other. nearly swaying from the intensity of holding each other so tightly.

she’s taller than him but not enough that she has to lean down. its perfect. and she wants more and more and more.

so does peter from the sound of it. and there are sounds. they’re guttural, borderline possessive and it shouldn’t turn her on but it does.

somehow they stumble back onto her bed and its too much. it really is.

because its not like they’re giving each other gentle kisses. no, its like the makeout equivalent of months of sexual anticipation. its less caressing and more grabbing. like they both want to touch each other’s skin so much and there isn’t enough time to do everything they’ve wanted to do.

Peter gropes MJ’s behind and she licks up the column of his neck. and he his hands slips between her legs to rub at her over her clothes. and she feels like she’s on fire. he makes her feel like a livewire and if they burst into flames she won’t be surprised. but what a way to go out.

and she knows that she’s panting his name into his mouth between kisses and all he can manage is a slew of curse words because “oh fuck, MJ. shit.”

she uses all of her weight to push him onto his back and she crawls over him, straddling his waist and kisses his neck. he’s squirming under her touch and its all a bit much. because his squirming is making her insides turn warm and electrified. the squirming feels so good. and she wonders if her squirming is good for him. it is.

the moment bursts when Peter gets so wrapped up in her, he forgets his strength and accidentally tears her shirt down the back. its falls off of her like shredded ribbons.

and EVERYTHING pauses. she’s sitting on him, her hands covering her chest and Peter is laying back on her bed with wide eyes, staring up at her in horror.

they’re both still breathing really heavily and the energy from the last half hour of making out is still clinging to them. but neither of them move. until they both try and speak at once. “I should-” “I’m sorry-”

they both manage a smile at that. and MJ probes, “You’re sorry…?” “I got,” he gulps, “I got a little handsy. I’m sorry. I should’ve, um, chilled out.”

she gives a nervous laugh, “I didn’t exactly stop you.”

his lips quirk up, “I like you. In case that wasn’t clear.” “Oh,” she rolls her eyes, “it was clear.”

and he gives her a real smile, “I was hoping. And you like me?”

and even though they’re both half naked and she’s sitting on him and they’ve just come off of the hottest makeout session of MJ’s life, she’s still embarrassed. like, she doesn’t wanna say yes. because god, that means so much. but she doesn’t want to lie because she wants this. him. and his muscles.

“yea,” she whispers, “I thought that was clear, too.”

he sits up like a shot and they’re chest to chest. bare chest to bare chest (because MJ gave up on bras years ago). and she swallows like she’s afraid because she is. Peter tucks some of her hair behind her ear. “god, you’re beautiful.”

she rolls her eyes and moves her hand to swat at him but he grabs her wrist mid-swat and cradles her hand to his chest. she breathes uneasy, “you’re a good kisser.”

“yea?” his voice is no more than a whisper. “yea,” she breathes. and they’re a heartbeat away from kissing again. Peter makes the first move. again.

but these kisses aren’t crazy sex-craven kisses. these are slower and deeper and methodical. its like learning because, well, it is. her arms hang off his shoulders and the easy, deep kissing lasts for a few minutes. Peter’s insisting hands roaming up and down her bare back.

but then MJ rolls her hips against his and Peter gasps. the kissing doesn’t get insane but it gets more heated. and their hips roll against one another eager for some contact.

its good but not enough.

Peter rolls MJ over on to her back and they’re grinding. there is no other word for it. his hand grabs for her thigh and lifts it up to really work his hips against hers.

it feels so much better than anything she’s ever done to herself under her blankets at two in the morning with his name on her lips. it feels like tipping out of heaven and falling into hell.

her head snaps back because kissing him and enjoying the feel of his body rolling against hers are nearly impossible. she can’t concentrate. he burrows his head in her neck. and she stares at the ceiling even though it looks less like a coherent picture and more like a kaleidoscope.

but its still not enough. she grabs the hand on her leg and guides it between her legs right where she wants him.

his head snaps up from where it was resting in her neck. and he swallows, “you sure?” she bites her lip but nods. and he’s sitting up. her body is a lot colder without the warm blanket of his body draped over her.

he nervously unbuttons and unzips her jeans. they go and then, after what she assumes is a peptalk to himself on his end, he guides her underwear off. and MJ has a very self aware moment that she’s absolutely naked. and in front of a boy. in front of Peter Parker.

he stares at her like he can’t even believe his luck.

but she doesn’t want him to keep watching her just lay there, she wants him to get her off. and so she reaches for his hand to force him where she wants him. but he shakes his head. “I wanna…can I….” and her whole face heats up. because she knows what he’s asking.

“um….sure.”

and suddenly Peter Parker’s head is between her legs and he’s licking at her. its weird and wet and she’s lowkey mortified because how did this even happen? but then he gets the grand idea to suck down there at the little bundle of nerves. and her back snaps off the bed, a groan on her lips.

her shaky voice tells him to stay there. “don’t move. don’t you dare.” and his technique isn’t perfect but he’s insistent and he doesn’t quit. and she’s rolling against his face like its a ride. and maybe it is. hey, she wouldn’t know.

he gets the bright idea (he is salutatorian of their class) to dip a finger inside of her. and MJ is pretty sure she’s sobbing. not like actually crying. but her voice sounds like it. and she can’t discern real words beyond his name and god. and she has a fleeting thought that she doesn’t want him to think she’s equating him to god. but woah.

and FINALLY with an accidental crook of his finger (she finds out its accidental later) she falls apart. her voice slips up into nothingness, her back arches off the bed. and when she comes back to herself a few seconds later. Peter is sitting up watching her half-pleased/half-terrified.

she exhales heavy. and he asks, “was that okay?” and she hates him. but that doesn’t stop her from dragging him back up for a kiss. and she knows that she wants more, even now. she might be a little greedy or selfish. but she doesn’t care much. whatever. sue her.

he relaxes into the kissing and the kisses turn more into pressing smiling mouths against each other than actual kissing.

until she reaches for the button on his jeans. and now HE looks panicked. he stops kissing her. and looks down at her. she rolls her eyes and doesn’t stop trying to unbutton his jeans. but she does ask because consent is important, “is this okay?” “is this okay???” he coughs, “are you kidding me? yes.” his voice cracks, “I mean, yes. ahem. but are you…are you sure?” she nods and kisses him again.

it unravels quickly. she gets his clothes off and leans over to grab a box of condoms from her bedside table. Peter looks disgruntled by that and she pecks his mouth, easy, “my sister got them for me. just in case.” he looks delighted again real quick. boys. smh.

and he puts it on.

and then its awkward again. because…oh.

right. this is going somewhere really fast. maybe they should slow down. maybe they should talk about this. maybe they should…..

“Peter?” her voice is shaky. “Yeah?” his voice is just as nervous. and her answer is a kiss. its the most gentle brush of her mouth against his. he seems to understand what she’s asking. to be as gentle as the kiss, to be as sweet as it. to just be careful with her.

and he is.

the initial coupling, that first push doesn’t hurt but its not comfortable. she’s ready enough for him when the time comes but its a foreign feeling. and the pressure is not exactly comfortable. he looks pained. not like it hurts him but that it hurts him to be so still. but he’s trying for her. he’s really trying to be patient and soft.

and her heart aches with affection.

she wraps her arms around his shoulders (his broad, muscle-y shoulders she’s so fond of) and urges him on. all with the insistence that he’s gentle.

and he is. even when he starts to move faster and MJ feels the sudden, all consuming pressure of why sex is good…he doesn’t push it. he keeps their rhythm easy and while she doesn’t think she’s gonna go two for two on orgasms, its fun. she’s having fun.

and Peter? well, he looks like he’s having the time of his life. like she’s led him to the watering hole after dying of thirst.

he rests his forehead against hers and they rock back and forth together, just breathing, until Peter’s back spasms and suddenly its all over. she can feel what’s happening down there and the fluttering of penis is weird. but not a bad weird? idk, this whole thing is just happening and she’s trying to keep up.

after, once he’s caught his breath, he deposits the condom in her tiny trash and they lay breathless on her bed. staring at the ceiling.

she turns her head to him and smiles. he does the same.

“you’re an asshole,” is the first thing MJ says to Peter post-sex. and he looks surprised by those words. “w-what?” he stutters. “you’re an asshole,” she repeats, “flaunting your muscles in front of me. asshole.”

his whole face lights up and he scoots over to her, tucks her under his arm. yea, Peter Parker is a cuddler. she’s not surprised. “I knew you liked them,” he grins, “Ned owes me like five bucks.” “what?” “he said you weren’t into my muscles. but you, um, obviously are.” she rolls her eyes, “that’s not what I like you. but they’re nice, I guess,” she concedes.

he smothers her mouth with a kiss and she gives into the nice, easy nature of it. “we’re gonna do that,” he mumbles against her mouth, “again.” “yea we are,” she smiles. “but can I just hold you for a while?”

and they don’t do it again that afternoon, after all. they just lay together and occasionally kiss and talk. they talk so much. they share everything they’ve both been keeping inside for months. and the truth is almost sweeter than the sex. scratch that. it definitely is.

when they meet all their friends at the pool the next day, MJ doesn’t even pretend to NOT oogle Peter. Betty giggles and points it out to their group, “see something you like, Jones?”

MJ rolls her eyes, but does take off her glasses to REALLY give him a once over. Peter is smirking at her and crosses his gigantic arms over his chest for her benefit.

it feels weirdly intimate. and everyone, the whole decathlon team is watching them in abject horror. because it was a JOKE. what is happening???

MJ shrugs, “he’s fine, I guess.” Peter throws his head back with a laugh.

no one else laughs. they’re all too confused.

that confusion clears up when Peter crosses over to MJ and leans over her for a quick kiss. “you’re an asshole,” is what he says to her. she grabs the back of his head and steals another kiss, “you like it.” he smirks, “I totally do.”

….and all hell breaks loose.

#headcanon ask #spideychelle #guys this got out of hand #trash can

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lesbianlanding · 7 years

Text

Detailed character sheet

I did this chart before I started writing Parent Trope to try to get Hecate straight (HA) in my head- I’m currently writing a Julie/Hecate fic, but you’ll see Pippa in the chart bc I think they have amazing chemistry as well!

Character Chart Character’s full name: Hecate Hepzibah Hardbroom (it would be a shame to waste the alliteration) Reason or meaning of name: Hecate: in Greek mythology Hecate was a goddess associated with witchcraft, crossroads, tombs, demons and the underworld Hepzibah: my delight is in her; queen, mother Character’s nickname: Cattie Reason for nickname: Heck sounds like a swear, I like nicknames to be derivative, her other nickname is Hiccup but that’s definitely an inside joke reserved for super close friends. She doesn’t have many. Birth date: March 28, Aries Physical Appearance: “tall, severe” all black everything, dress to impress and repress, setting an example through stiffness and height of collar Age: 35 How old does he/she appear: don’t you dare answer this Weight: 140 Height: 6'1" Body build: slim, whiplike Shape of face: long, narrow, roman nose Eye color: dark- black? Brown? Glasses or contacts: no Skin tone: pale, doesn’t flush easily Distinguishing marks: maybe tattoos, self applied, all with meaning, all magical Predominant features: cheekbones, nose Hair color: black Type of hair: very long, always perfectly coiffed Hairstyle: buns, braided buns, parted down the center and brushed until shining for bed; formal events might call for more intricate buns and braids Voice: soft, forceful Overall attractiveness: yes Physical disabilities: She prefers not to walk far distances. Could have stiffness in joints she hides with motion of skirt, transporting place to place. Sits very carefully on a broom. Usual fashion of dress: very reserved, all covered, dramatic collars, belts and cinching garments. Probably owns a million corsets and a trillion heeled boots Favorite outfit: lbd (long black dress) Jewelry or accessories: locket, small earrings with dark gemstones- sapphire? Personality: stern but fair, deep sense of traditions and sacrifice Good personality traits: honest, loyal, trusting, believes in goodness, strong sense of duty and tradition, invested in the future of her students Bad personality traits: quick to anger slow to forgiveness, not always brave (has been abused), not very confident in herself as valuable and worthy of love Mood character is most often in: suspicion? Outside of school year probably content, thinking deeply Sense of humor: wicked- willing to let her guard down in special occasions, likes to be around people who are laughing as long as they are not laughing at her Character’s greatest joy in life: flying on her broomstick, succeeding Character’s greatest fear: that she will fail her community, see the collapse of her way of life Why? She has devoted so much time to developing herself into the “perfect witch” and trying to mold her students in that same image but because she is very sensitive to criticism and cannot take a compliment she is more aware of her failings and is unable to get past them What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Not the loss of a friend unless they were beyond her reach- the death of a student. The return to being in a position where her father or former teacher had power over her again Character is most at ease when: on holiday, asleep, after bed checks Most ill at ease when: students or friends missing Enraged when: students or friends in danger or students not performing to her standards Depressed or sad when: major holidays, her birthday roll around. Priorities: 1. Work as a teacher, 2. Deputy headmistress duties 3. Friend duties (small talk in the lounge) Life philosophy: live life head first (wand second, heart last) If granted one wish, it would be: I think she would wish that she could ensure her students would reach their full potential without her having to be such a hard ass so she could relax a little Why? I know that most teachers aren’t so invested in their students that they wouldn’t wish for a pile of money or a big house or a new life but I think Hecate doesn’t really have much else that we can see- no partner, no kids, few friends Character’s soft spot: cats, small clumsy girls with braids who surprise her Is this soft spot obvious to others? Yes. To adults. Greatest strength: her magic because it gives her pride and purpose, she depends on it in tough situations. She would be amazing without it as well but it strengthens her Greatest vulnerability or weakness: has a hard time admitting she was wrong Biggest regret: Letting Pippa go Minor regret: trying so hard to expel Mildred right at the start Biggest accomplishment: getting out from under her father and teacher Minor accomplishment: making up with Pippa Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: failed her first flying test and her second Why? She NEEDS to be perfect Character’s darkest secret: She was abused, she is a lesbian Does anyone else know? Not about the abuse, but Ada knows. Hecate disclosed it when she was offered a job. She said Ada needed to know before she hired her so she would be ready if parents took offense or found out. She was also hoping that maybe she could make up with Pippa one day. Or that maybe she could find love. Goals: get through this school year, go to her cottage and garden until she has to return. Not see any children during the summer. The garden is for bees Drives and motivations: repressed romantic and squishy feelings get funneled into a drive to wring the best out of everyone and hold herself to a high standard. Appearance is really important as is standing in witch society. Witnessed deference to the great wizard, to Ethel’s mum Immediate goals: clean, garden, relax, plan for year two, have tea with Pippa. Keep Ada from eating only cookies Long term goals: become headmistress, role model, successful disciplinarian How the character plans to accomplish these goals: deputy headmistress position, Ada has no heir, political friendships would come in handy How other characters will be affected: Ada would have to die or retire. Would need a new deputy. Past: bad, doesn’t talk about it. Has one brother, much older. He is in government. Something boring but important like taxes. Mother is alive but out of reach. Father is iron fisted, in his prime despite old age. Hometown: London. Type of childhood: restricted. Austere. No interaction with non magical families. Very small group of friends, not real friends, just social group friends. Upper middle class. Private nurse and tutor as a young child she adored, went to a school other than Cackles in Germany, attended teachers training under Broomhead? Many instances of rebellion, many instances of being smacked down. Has a strong sense of right and wrong, fair and not but has learned to support fair and right quietly without outright rebellion Pets: a cat, sapphire First memory: watching a party from the stairs before being sent back to her nursery Most important childhood memory: her father burning a non magical novel she was reading Why: he was trying to teach her a lesson about magic being the best but instead he taught her to hide everything she treasures Childhood hero: queen Elizabeth Dream job: potioneer Education: masters? Phd? Religion: none, laws of magic Finances: family was wealthy Present Current location: summer cottage Currently living with: her cat Pets: cat Religion: Occupation: teaching potions brewing in the summer Finances: well off but not wealthy. Inherited a cottage from an aunt who was eccentric and outcast Family Mother: Relationship with her: Father: Relationship with him: Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with him/her: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: aunt, dead Favorites Color: black Least favorite color: white (it washes her out) Music: quiet instrumental. The lute Food: not a hearty water or an adventurous cook. Has a few favorites others would consider plain Literature: voracious reader. Secret pleasure: mysteries. Staples: potion and education journals Form of entertainment: plays! Expressions: Mode of transportation: broom, transferring Most prized possession: ceremonial wand used by her grandmother’s coven to discover Atlantis and raise it Habits: transferring everywhere, touching her locket when she is thinking, flicking her hair around dramatically when it is loose Hobbies: gardening, flying, beekeeping Plays a musical instrument? Yes, the piano Plays a sport? Yes, broom polo How he/she would spend a rainy day: reading with a cup of tea Spending habits: lbds, books, potion ingredients but thrifty otherwise Smokes: never Drinks: socially Other drugs: What does he/she do too much of? Spend time alone What does he/she do too little of? Socialize Extremely skilled at: spells, potions Extremely unskilled at: spontaneous social interactions Nervous tics: fingers clenching or starting a spell Usual body posture: straight backed, strong chin and neck Mannerisms: each movement is considered and graceful Peculiarities: has a leather bathrobe???? Traits Optimist or pessimist? Pessimistic Introvert or extrovert? Introvert Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil Logical or emotional? Logical Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical and neat Prefers working or relaxing? Working Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident but poor self esteem Animal lover? Yes Self-Perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: feels satisfied with herself and proud of how she turned out One word the character would use to describe self: disciplinarian One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I, Hecate Hepzibah Hardbroom am a competent, respectable educator and a gifted potioneer. I am a leader, I manage my time and the time of my charges judiciously. I am devoted to upholding the standard of witchcraft as I learned them. I believe modernization is a dumbing down of a difficult process. I do not believe that everyone with magical powers deserves the title of witch, but deeply respect those it has been conferred upon. What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Self control What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Softness What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Her figure and her hair What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Her nose How does the character think others perceive him/her: wants them to respect her, see her as an authority figure What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: residual scars from abuse, physical and emotional Relationships With Others Opinion of other people in general: depends but usually “worse” than her until they prove themselves to have some redeeming quality(like with Ada, too soft but also, loving and fair) Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? No; is sarcastic Person character most hates: Her father, her tutor Best friend(s): Pippa Love interest(s): Pippa, Ms. Drill, Julie Hubble Person character goes to for advice: Ada Cackle Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Mildred Hubble Person character feels shy or awkward around: Pippa Person character openly admires: Great wizard, that disciplinarian Person character secretly admires: Maud Spellbody- lots of potential, but selfless, invested in friends Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Ada After story starts: It’s a tie bt Ada, Pippa, and Mildred

@cassandra-pentughasst (hope I tagged the right person!)

#the parent trope #hecate hardbroom #the worst witch

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qnangelica-blog · 7 years

Text

Stained Glass Eyes

Note: I’m a new fic writer! I love writing but I’m also super busy so I’m not sure how frequently I’ll get to write but I’m doing this so hopefully more often than not. Lmao also I started writing this like 2 years ago for a completely different fandom so the first few chapters (bc there will be more than one) the writing could be a little weird, I’m editing them and such but they’ll most probably be different than later chapters bc I’d like to hope that my writing has improved since then :) This is the 1st chapter, so it’s just getting things started, let me know if a part 2 is wanted!

Pairing: Lafayette x reader

Summary: (High School! AU) Lafayette and (Y/N) are seniors, and their paths only crossed under an unfortunate (and unlikely) event.

Warnings: some swearing, semi-badly translated french

Word count: 2310

Laf

“Merde” was my first thought as I walked into the school building. Three years into American high school, and I was not having une bonne fois (a good time). My friends were great, but I can’t say the same for Ridgeview High School. I was ready to go and explore the country, to bring justice to those who need it most. Instead, I was stuck in an old (and kind of dirty) building learning mostly boring things. Seulement une année de plus. Seulement une année d (Only one more year to go. Only one more yea)-

“Laf!” Hercules, one of my best friends (and partner and crime) yelled. He started barrelling towards me, having no mercy for the poor freshman he mowed down on his way over.

“Herc!” I shouted back, not being able to help myself. I ran towards him too, but, he wanted to high five, and I wanted to hug, so he ended up slapping me in the face and we both stumbled a bit.

“Fun.” I muttered, reeling slightly from the force of Hercules’ slap. Herc was laughing, seemingly unaffected by nearly falling to the ground. He was one of the few people I acted like a relatively normal person around. To most at Ridgeview, I was the aloof Frenchman, who wouldn’t give many people the time of day. I was with the “in crowd”, and no one could touch us. It bothered me that my friends and I didn’t bother to associate ourselves with people lower down on the “social pyramid", but Burr and Jefferson insisted that we had an image to keep up. As much as I enjoyed their friendships, their elitist attitudes really irked me, to the point where I could only take small doses of them. When we graduate Alexander, Herc, John, and I plan to band together and do something to help people in need. We just can’t agree on what to actually do. Start a nonprofit, become politicians, go on speaking tours, whatever it will take to make change.

“I would ask you how your summer was, but I spent most of it with you. How’s life?” Hercules asked.

“Eh, c’est pas grave, mais- (it isn’t bad but-)” I started talking but he was quickly distracted by Alex and John walking toward us.

“Johnny boy!” Herc yelled, yet again, a wide grin spreading across his face.

“Jerkules!” John shouted back. Good to see he hadn’t changed a bit.

When they got to us, I smiled at Alexander. “‘Bonjour, Hamilton.”

“Salut, Lafayette, ça va (Hi, Lafayette, how are you)?” He grinned back at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Je ne suis pas un grand admirateur d’ici (I’m not a big fan of here).”

Alex slapped me on the back. “Well, feel sad no more!” His signature grin spread across his face, then he nudged John.

“Attention people of Ridgeview’s main hallway!” Multiple people looked up, some getting their phones out in order to spread the word of whatever John was about to say. “Alex and I are having a party at my house this weekend. Tell all of your friends!” he yelled.

“Except Thomas!” Alexander quickly added, only half jokingly.

Everyone immediately burst into excited chatter; people knew John and Alex threw the wildest parties, so it was no question that the turnout would be huge. I, for one, was quite excited. I loved their parties, particularly because of the chance of les jolies filles (pretty girls) attending.

I talked to Herc for a minute before turning around to find John and Alex making out against my locker. “Hey! Non! If you two could not taint my locker, that’d be great.” John pulled away and smiled sheepishly, but then proceeded pull Alex a locker over and continue their antics.

I quickly got my Physics II book out of my locker so I could not have to see any more of John’s tongue being that far down Alex’s throat, and hurried down the hall to catch up with Herc, who was on his way to find his English classroom.

“Herc! Attends (wait)-” I bumped into someone on my quest for my friend. I looked and was momentarily taken aback. Elle est trés belle (she is very beautiful). Her (Y/E/C) quickly drew me in. I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be friendly with those not in my social circle. I had never wanted to disagree with Burr’s philosophy more. However, after seeing a flash of fear in her eyes, I snapped out of it.

“Watch where you’re going.” I said, harshly. I know it was a bit cold, but I can’t show weakness or associate myself with someone as unknown as her, because I feared Jefferson, as did the rest of the school (except maybe Hamilton). I pushed down the emotion that came with bumping into her, and remembered what Jefferson said: “if you didn’t know who they are, then they must not be that important.”

It was lunchtime, and I was so relieved. Physics really was not my cup of tea, Mr. Jones’ lectures made sense when I was there, but as soon as I received the homework all of his words flew out the window.

“Laf!” Herc shook me lightly. “You’re totally out of it. What gives?”

“S’il te plait (please), never speak like that again. And I just had to go through more than an hour of electric fields.” I smiled lightly. Everyone at the table groaned, starting to complain about their teachers and classes they had this year.

I looked over to Jefferson, who was sitting a couple of people away from me, as far away from Hamilton as possible. He smiled lightly at me and waved. “How’s your first day of school going so far, Laf?”

“Like I said, J’ai plus de une heure de la physique. Je préfèrais être mis dans un champ électrique que apprends plus de choses sur eux (I had more than one hour of physics, I would rather be put in an electric field than learn more things about them).” I said, scrunching my nose up and earning some chuckles from my friends at the table.

“Okay, but you notably did not say that earlier, because you were speaking in English at that point,” John pointed out, Hercules nodding as well.

A collective chuckle spread across the table, then quieted down slightly, everyone having their own conversation. Honestly, the lunches at my school weren’t half bad, nobody really complained about them, and they had all the elements that are needed for a growing teenager. It was surprisingly good for the classic American high school. I looked around the room, and my eyes immediately landed on cette belle fille (that beautiful girl) I bumped into earlier. She was sitting next to girl with dark hair and a pink dress, who was talking to her, but she didn’t really seem to notice. She was staring right back at me. I quickly averted my eyes, making sure no one had seen the exchange. Like I said before, I wasn’t really supposed to associate myself with people outside the group.

A few minutes later, I looked back, but this time the mystery girl averted her eyes when I caught her staring for the second time. Je me demande qu’elle veut. (I wonder what she wants).

The lunch bell rang, causing a collective groan to ripple throughout the cafeteria. No one wanted to go back to class, obviously. I had U.S. History next and I was okay with that. I liked learning about this still kind of new country, and what lead to the systems in place today. That was my last period because I had a free one after that, so I planned on just going to the library and hoping to get a computer to study before Alex drove John and I home.

However, all throughout history, I couldn’t get that girl out of my head.

(Y/N)

The first day back at school was always one of the best. You walked into the Ridgeview doors slowly, taking in the environment you would be in for the next nine months.

You didn’t mind school, you were an honors student and on the student council. You kind of just cruised along socially, some people knowing who you were, and others not (despite you being friends with some of the most known and respected people in school), and that was mostly how you liked it. You were excited for the first council meeting tomorrow, you wanted to see if something could be done about the lack of functioning computers in the library and the state of the school bathrooms, you only ever used the one at home.

Along with making changes to the school, you help out with the special ed students when you can. No one really messes with the student council, not because you’re all badass and terrifying-- quite the opposite, actually-- it’s just that you make meaningful changes and people respected you for that.

Suddenly, you heard a familiar voice project throughout the hallway. “Attention people of Ridgeview’s main hallway! Alex and I are having a party at my house this weekend. Tell all of your friends!” John Laurens shouted.

“Except Thomas!”

Hmm, a party. You’ll have to ask your friends about whether you wanted to go or not. You quickly went to your locker to get your French textbook and hurried to class so as not to be late.

“Herc! Attends-” you slammed into someone when walking down the main hallway. You recognized that voice. Oh no, you just ran into Marquis de Lafayette.

You looked up slightly, feeling embarrassed. You definitely had a slight crush on him. Thinking about him may or may not have made heat rush to your cheeks. You made eye contact with him; his face was blank for a split second before a look you couldn’t really read crossed it.

“Watch where you’re going.”

Oh. You nodded slightly and scurried away. Your crush on Laf was one sided and shallow. It’s clear that he’s super hot, it’s quite hard not to like him. He could be cold, distant, and mean, and didn’t like to associate himself with people who weren’t as popular as him. Oh well, you could always admire from afar, and pretend that he was super nice and wanted to make out with you… kind of like how Alexander and John were against someone’s locker. As cool as you thought they were, you were not incredibly enthusiastic to continue watching.

You hurried along to your class, trying to see if you could find your friend Angelica on the way. You had no such luck, not finding her in the halls. Suddenly, a pair of cold hands clamped themselves over your eyes. “Guess who?”

Spoke too soon. “Eliza!” you exclaimed jokingly, knowing it was not her. You turned around, smiling at your best friend. Her eyes were curious, her dress was pink, and her mood was fierce. She was holding a can of Peace Tea (typical) and a little box in her outstretched hand.

“What’s this?” you asked, taking the box from her.

“Well, I didn’t see you all summer because I was in Florida, so here!”

You opened the box, seeing an assortment of little charms for a bracelet she had gotten you on her vacation. The charms shimmered and glinted in the fluorescent hallway lighting, and made a delightful jingling sound as you picked up the bracelet and inspected it. You’re sure Angelica had spent a lot of time trying to find charms that said something about you, and you engulfed her in a hug. “Thanks so much, Angel!”

“It’s Angelica.” she grumbled playfully.

“Yeah, well tell that to kindergarten me who didn’t know how to pronounce your name,” you smiled. “What do the new charms mean?”

Angelica grinned. “This one,” she pointed to a little fist, “represents our friendship, because we’re bros.”

You snorted, doing your best jock imitation. “Totally, my main dudebro!”

She rolled her eyes and continued. “This one’s a needle, to represent sewing the broken heart charm back together.” Wow, Angel had put a lot of thought into this. “The boxing gloves is what ur boo thang Laf does, and the best person in the universe, a.k.a. me, so obviously you have to have a charm to remind you of us.”

You gave her a look of horror, making sure no one had heard her announce your crush on the school’s resident frenchman. It’s not like it wasn’t uncommon for people to have crushes on him, especially considering his looks, but even so, if anyone heard that you had a crush on the Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, you would never live it down. “Shhhh!” you shoved Angelica lightly.

She laughed, showing you the last charm. “This one’s a shooting star, representing my knowledge that you’re going places with your life, and the fact that you should always remember that your dreams are possible and worth reaching for.”

You pulled her into a hug. She put so much thought into this, you really couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. “Thanks so much, Angel. I got you some knuckle tape but it’s at my house, you can come over after school if you want.”

“It’s all good, girl. And sure, I’ll meet you out front after school, I gotta go give Peggy her charger and head to music.” And with that Angelica walked off down the hallway, being mindful of the lost freshman.

You gently readjusted your french book that Laf had jostled and headed off to class.

At lunch, you and Angelica sat together, along with Peggy, Eliza, Sally, and Maria. You arrived to the table, quickly falling into conversations about your summers and excitement for the upcoming year. However, you quickly became very busy staring at Laf, Angelica and Maria were trying to figure out the equation of the curve of Peggy’s butt with their graphing calculators, and Eliza and Sally were having their own little conversation.

Angelica leaned over and nudged you. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

You laughed. “As if I haven’t stalked his social medias for selfies all the time. I have seen many pictures in my years, young woman.” You continued to stare. You couldn’t help yourself, he was just so goddamned attractive. You’re pretty sure you could start a fan club for his biceps, you probably wouldn’t be the only one in it. The way his nose crinkles slightly when he smiled, or his tan skin, or how you really wanted to run your hands through his thick hair…

You were so busy staring and daydreaming that you didn’t notice him looking back at you. As soon as you snapped out of it, he quickly averted his eyes.

You hit Angelica’s arm repeatedly until she looked at you. “I just made eye contact with Lafayette,” you squeaked.

“I’ll start planning the wedding immediately.” She rolled her eyes, chuckling lightly at your antics, then added: “He’s not that great, you know.”

You mock gasped at her. “Angelica! We all know he’s all that great… looking.” You sent her a goofy smile.

She tried not to smile as she replied. “True.”

You looked back, just to see him staring right back at you. You were the one to avert your eyes this time. You turned to Angelica and started talking to her quietly, asking her what the eye contact could’ve meant.

Angelica just rolled her eyes again. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to get the invites out fast enough, your relationship with him is moving so fast!”

You laughed sarcastically. “Oh, ha fucking ha, Angel. You are actually the funniest person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

“I know, I’m hilarious.” She stood up and bowed dramatically.

“Hey, did anyone hear about Lams’ party?” Maria asked the table.

“Oh yeah, what do you guys think?” I asked, looking around at your friends’ faces.

“Hell yeah I’m in, I’m always ready to look hot and find a cute guy!” Peggy exclaimed. After getting a look from Eliza and Angelica, she coughed. “I mean, I always love partying responsibly!”

“Alright, calm down Pegs.” Sally said, causing a collective laugh to spread throughout the table.

“I’m fine with it.” Eliza said, having everyone agree with her.

“Alright, we’ll go then.” You said.

“Yes! Squad up!” Peggy yelled.

“How about shut up?” You laughed, pushing her shoulder lightly to let her know you were joking.

Shortly afterwards, the bell rang, and you all made your ways to your respective classes. After school, Angelica and Eliza came to yours, and you studied and argued passionately about conspiracy theories. They went home later, and after they left, you ate and went to sleep, preparing yourself for school the next day.

#lol sorry for that ending #this is my first imagine on here pls don't roast me #hamilton #hamilton imagine #lafayette x reader #lafayette imagine #reader insert #hamilton fanfic

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i-amusemyself · 7 years

Note

All of the 'Get to Know Me'.

Aaaah tysm!!!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

(Jokes on you I only usually have 3 songs on repeat at any one time :’-D ) Atm though: Work Song - Hozier, Rats- Miw, Wastelands- Amber Run, Dragula- Rob Zombie, Fireflies- Owl city (yh really), To build a home- The cinematic orchestra.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I…don’t know. I’m really not that into meeting ‘idols’ or anything. I guess it’d be pretty cool to meet Kaitlyn Alexander but honestly I’m not sure the anxiety would be worth it.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“It’s a body,” I said, “A dead body.” lmao

4: What do you think about most?

I imagine what life is going to be like when I get to uni or who/what it’ll be that finally makes me happy.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Off to stuff my face with chinese food, talk to you later bro”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Clothes on unless it’s above 25 degrees bc I don’t wanna die (like that)

7: What’s your strangest talent?

Lmaooo talent?! Me?! Idk I’m learning how to do special effects makeup and a couple of people have said its p cool. Also I can do this weird thing with my tongue where it basically rolls in on itself (seems to be genetic)

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are all ethereal goddesses out of my league.

Boys are not my area of expertise.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

As if lmao! Ain’t no one ever liked me that much.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I can’t remember so I did it just now to make up for it.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I hate cuddly toys with battery packs in them with a passion.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Nooo

13: What’s your religion?

Don’t have one, I’m an atheist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Cleaning up my rabbits’ mess.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it I think

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Honestly it depends on the time of day, when I last ate, the luna cycle… I genuinely don’t have one I can’t answer that

17: What was the last lie you told?

Um, I lied about what I watched on TV last night lmao

18: Do you believe in karma?

I’m not sure, I kinda just hope it exists and that helps keep me sane.

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s pretty self explanatory lmao

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I don’t know, for the weakness I’m torn between caring too much and saying the wrong thing.

And I wouldn’t call it a major strength but I have a lot of patience.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

I don’t know (I barely have an interest in anything atm), given I have an entire fanblog dedicated to them I’ll say Kaitlyn Alexander again

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope not yet

23: How do you vent your anger?

I have a personal blog ( @the-emotional-equilibrium ) that I rant on

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have an embarrassing number of kermit memes on my phone

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting for sure, I like to be able to see people’s faces (also I hate phone calls they’re too awkward).

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I think I’m a work in progress really. I’m happier with myself than I used to be, but there’s always things I want to change or could improve on and I know I’m never going to be perfect.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of fabric being ripped, it makes me shiver but I love, idk, that sound when you’re just lying outside and you can hear the birds and stuff. Idk, I don’t listen to much besides music.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

Argh, erm, I wonder how different life would have been if I’d learnt to stand up for myself earlier. I’d probably have fewer regrets.

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts I’m really not sure about. Up until recently I would’ve said no, but honestly I don’t know what to believe anymore. As for aliens they’re definitely real.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm: A cushion on the sofa. Left arm: The wall. Exciting right?

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Chicken! (Making lunch atm)

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Lmfaooooo idk???? Not a physical place anyway. When I was really little I once had to stand outside in the snow for about 3 hours and I remember being pretty sure I was gonna die, like it was such a horrible feeling being that cold.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East coast! I mean, that’s just based on where my friend lives and nothing else but

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Lmfao opposite?! Okay so let’s just assume that means a guy but erm? Idk? Okay I admit I have a slight thing for half the guys in MIW so lets just go with that

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To have the best time possible and end it with minimal regrets. Also to try to help other people to have a better time to.

36: Define Art.

Stuff you can look at that takes actual talent and imagination.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Not really? I mean sometimes I might consider things Unlucky but tbh I have no idea what I mean by that.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Pretty boring tbh, it’s just a grey sky with a bit of a breeze.

39: What time is it?

2:49 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I passed my test a few months back but I haven’t driven since so thankfully I haven’t had a chance to crash yet

41: What was the last book you read?

The 5 people You Meet in Heaven….and that was last July smh

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Love it. It’s the smell of my childhood.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Most people at school call me Scaz and most my friends outside of school refer to me as Chorlo. (or Wholemeal Chorlo if your name is ellie)

44: What was the last film you saw?

I watched Shrek 2 last night lmfao I forgot how good it was!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I’ve broken quite a few bones but I’m lucky never to have done anything awful. Um, the worst was probably when I broke my elbow or when I tore my side open on a nail jumping off a fence.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Aaah yeah I used to catch them every summer!

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I guess I’m between obsessions at the minute; though I’m kind of hooked on supernatural ngl

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Fuck knows. Not straight. I defo like girls but idk about guys.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Multiple smh. This one girl once spread a rumor I was a lesbian and I was gay for her (before I even came out) and tbh she’d have been lucky. (She was kinda obsessed with me, she was probs suppressing something). It did kinda ruin my confidence though because of all the reactions so I didn’t come out for another 2 years.

50: Do you believe in magic?

I don’t know what to believe anymore, but I’m kind of open to learning more about it.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah smh. I have a pretty high Grudge Threshold in that I give people a lot of chances but once they reach that level there’s no going back and I won’t forget what they did.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I either save it for months or blow my savings in an hour.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A bus ticket?

55: Love or lust?

Love defo

56: In a relationship?

As if lmao

57: How many relationships have you had?

Three, but none of them lasted that long

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home all day working

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

I’m sitting on a pink sofa lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yeaaah, one is glittery the other has skulls on which sums me up pretty well tbh

62: What’s your favourite animal?

I love so many animals I don’t know!! Capybaras? Alpacas? Giraffes? Chimps? Idk?!

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Lmaoooo I have no idea I haven’t found it yet

64: Where is your best friend?

3918 miles away on the east coast of the USA (I get to see her in 9 days though I’m so excited!!)

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

(I won’t tag them but in no particular order) Pansexi-unicorn, onetinygay, shrekthelesbian, oneshappyplace and only-slightly-dangerous

66: What is your heritage?

I’m white as a toilet m8. Nah a lot of my family comes from Denmark/scandinavia which you can kind of tell from looking at me tbh

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping. Sorry that’s not more interesting.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I think it’s like, double barrel as in May-Trump or something

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Maybe..

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Errrm, sort of? I try to make an effort, so that’d be nice. But I’m so quiet and shy sometimes that if I was friends with myself we’d probably never talk lmao

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, no doubt about it. If my boss is that much of a dick I’ll probably lose my job sooner or later, so I might as well lose it helping out a doggo.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I’d tell the people closest to me, but maybe not straight away depending on how I thought they’d react.

b) I’d probably blow my saving and go travelling. I mean, what else is there to do? Oh and finish bingewatching all my shows at that time bc dying on a cliffhanger would really piss me off.

c) Maybe a little? Just because once you die you’re alone with whatever the hell comes after (pun not intended).

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Argh?! Trust? I guess? No point having love if you can’t trust people.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men and Fireflies by Owl City. They both bring on such nostalgia.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6666 as far as the internet is concerned.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Just like, having someone you can chill with and open up to. Someone where you don’t have to care about embarrassing yourself with or worry about constantly because you trust them. Just like, a super cool friendship but with kissing.

77: How can I win your heart?

Don’t be afraid to be yourself I guess. I love interesting people that don’t pretend to be someone else. Also interesting people with swords.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Who am I to answer that? Idk, I suppose yeah.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Cutting off shitty people and actually valuing myself enough to find new friends.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7 (could be a lot worse given my height)

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Something along the lines of “I’m just dormant” or “Nothing is set in stone.”

82: What is your favourite word?

Un sacapuntas

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Break

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“I amuse myself” or “what the fuck”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Alive (i think its called) by Sia

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black, red and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s a galaxy spacey thing

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I’m torn between Putin and Kim Jong Un (no need to worry about Trump, I’m sure someone already has a plan.)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

The third question in my inbox rn lmao

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

(I was so tempted to say “ask if they prefer being the big or little spoon” why am I like this)

Idk id probs strike up a convo whilst looking around the room for the best weapon just in case.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Hmmm, I think mind reading would be useful but it might make my anxiety even worse! So that or teleportation.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Any half hour when I wasn’t stressed about exams lmao (bonus if the weather was good)

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

A guy did something that I wish he hadn’t and I’m still fucked up by it sooo that.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

I honestly don’t know, it’s not something I’ve thought about with “music-celebrities” lmao

Edit: Hold up I’ve just remembered Halsey exists.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The place I’m going in 9 dayyys!! (Or Copenhagen)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

When I was really little and hopefully never again

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup a couple of times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

For fucks sake can’t you all just educate yourselves and get along? Stop. Killing. Each. Other.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 6 years

Text

WHY STARTUP GROWTH

Six months later, when Yahoo bought us, we had 1070 users. The catch is that we so rarely see analyses of this type. The control systems inside machines used to be the model for all programming. This may not be very appealing yet, if you're not. Why should we care especially about civil liberties? If other companies didn't want to use it in all his paintings, wouldn't he? Silicon Valley and the whole world, for that matter have speculative meetings.

That's where you can win big by taking the bold approach to design, and others that are comfortingly routine. So programmers continue to develop iPhone apps, even though Apple continues to maltreat them. People only have so many leisure hours a day, by breaking up a morning or afternoon.1 If you write in Latin, no one can understand you. The screen's too shiny, and the way to take advantage of dramatic decreases in cost is to increase volume. But this is old news to Lisp programmers.2 Intellectual curiosity was not one of the main forces driving the spread of tablets, that suggests a way to get it from the poor, or take it away from the rich turns out to be extraordinarily responsible.3 A lot went wrong, as usually happens with startups.4 In fact I don't intend to make any predictions, except that things will change a lot. It's hard to convince investors the first time it raised money, it shouldn't be surprising that luck is a big pitfall, and not just for the minnows, but even this was not open source. The main reason was how much we liked the founders.5 Did some kind of connection.

But elegance is not an end in itself.6 The computer would be just as worried about premature design—deciding too early what a program should do. If you work patiently it's less stressful, and you have no way to make viewers watch TV synchronously instead of watching recorded shows when it suited them. Which meant, with current US tax rates, that it made sense to invest in us if we had better than a 1 in 24 chance of succeeding, you'll only do it if there is a deeper reason that hackers are alarmed by measures like copyrights and patents. Reproduced by permission of Steve Wozniak. We have less power than bosses, and yet the founders work harder than you should at selling yourself. My friend Trevor Blackwell built his own Segway, which we called the Segwell.7

Think about it. After a while this filter will start to operate as you write. They're working on their software. If you don't want to give the impression there were no problems this summer. Data about who applies for things is usually closely guarded by the organizations selecting them, but none of their software could compete with ours. Hacking is something you do to survive, but may turn out that this whole battleground gets bypassed. Whether the number of startups. But a startup can't do what all the other big companies are doing.

But no visitor would understand that.8 We have created, for the first time it raised money.9 Instead of taking money from the rich. With a startup, you shouldn't worry that it isn't widely used. In other words, time-sharing is back.10 This should not really be surprising. Nothing yields meaty problems like starting with the wrong assumptions. It surprised me that being a startup founder does not get you more admiration from women. The right tools can help us avoid this danger. Here's a handy rule for startups: competitors are rarely as dangerous as they seem.

Put them on an anonymous forum, and the default answer is failure, because that is at this point the default outcome. I don't know if that's necessary, but it seems like the best languages all evolved together with some application they were being used to write. More often than not the energy they expend on appearances to compensate. So it is no wonder companies are afraid. You might also want to learn C, in order to hack Unix, and Perl for system administration and cgi scripts.11 Countless paintings, when you look at the history of technology would want to do, designing beautiful software, would be if you could somehow redesign venture funding to work without allowing VCs to become rich, there's another kind of investor you simply cannot replace: the startups' founders and early employees.12 Maybe their strongest shared interest will be their physical location, but I'm British by birth. So anyone in America who really cares about design will be sailing upwind.

If another country wanted to establish a rival to Silicon Valley is. It is identical with taking money from the rich. You know how you can design programs to be debuggable?13 But the real problem for Microsoft wasn't the embarrassment of the people they want as libraries.14 VCs, because they can't see things from the user's point of view. Y Combinator, we planned to invest the way other venture firms do: as proposals came in, we'd evaluate them and decide yes or no.15 Nothing yields meaty problems like starting with the wrong assumptions. I'll tell you why that wouldn't work. Cobol. As usual, by Demo Day about half the startups were doing something significantly different than they started with.16 I think there's a general principle at work here: the less you need further investment, the easier it is to do a startup. If you're going to invest your time in something with a small chance of succeeding, you'll only do it if there is a natural temptation to believe, for example, that hacking is the applied version of what theoretical computer science is the theory of computation about as much as Apple would.

Probably not. But I don't think many people realize there is a safe option, that's the one a bureaucrat will choose. The experience of the SFP suggests that if you eliminate economic inequality. The specific thing that surprised me is how the relationship of startup founders seem to be working hard enough.17 Michelangelo was considered especially dedicated for insisting on painting all the figures on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel himself. Some of this summer's eight startups will probably die eventually; it would be between a boss and an employee. I think a society in which most people were still subsistence farmers; he would have had neither workers nor customers. I was a whiz at it. This is generally true even if competitors get lots of attention. This is what open-source movement is that it has made it easier to learn to program. Paintings usually begin with a sketch.

Notes

An earlier version of this essay, Richard and David Whitehouse, Mohammed, Charlemagne and the reaction was so violent that she decided never again. Note: This is not work too hard to say. The only launches I remember are famous flops like the bizarre stuff. Everyone else was talking about why people dislike Michael Arrington.

In fact the secret weapon of the companies that an idea that evolves naturally, and that's much harder. So if it's not always as deliberate as its sounds. In No Logo, Naomi Klein says that I was there was a small proportion of spam to nonspam was consistently very high, they have zero ability to predict at the end of the startup.

Economically, the work goes instead into the work of selection. Fortunately policies are software; Apple can change them instantly if they knew. He had equity.

Google's site. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference. Y Combinator never negotiates valuations is that any idea relating to the usual way of calculating real income, or it would feel pretty bogus to press founders to have confused readers, though in very corrupt countries you may as well. We once put up posters around Harvard saying Did you know Apple originally had three founders?

You know what kind of protection is one of the things Julian gave us. In part because Steve Jobs tried to raise a series of numbers that are or feel weak.

While the space of careers does. Otherwise you'll seem a risky bet to admissions committees, no matter how good you are not very far along that trend yet. Incidentally, Google may appear to be combined that never should have become direct marketers. Few can have a significant effect on college admissions.

No, and on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the recommendations. The problem in high school textbooks.

That's why there's a continuum here. Or rather, where w is will and d discipline. Good news: users don't care about GPAs. Make it clear when you lose that protection, e.

We're delighted to have them soon. But one of the Garter and given the Earldom of Rutland.

I use. The existence of people mad, essentially by macroexpanding them. Yes, actually: dealing with one of the infrastructure that this isn't strictly true, it will become as big as a note to self.

Though this essay, but there has to be closing, not how much you get stock as if you'd invested at a particular number. And so to the same in the time and Bob nominally had a house built a couple years. That would be enough, even though you don't know.

Bureaucrats manage to allocate research funding moderately well, so it may not understand you at all. You can't be buying users; that's a pyramid scheme.

One to recover data from so many people mistakenly think it was not in the cupboard, but in fact I read most things I find hardest to get endless grief for classifying religion as a monitor is that we're not. There are some whose definition of property.

The set of plausible sounding startup ideas, but that this was the last round just converts into stock at the end of the corpora. A in the sense of the anti-dilution protections. 1323-82.

Francis James Child, who would make good angel investors. But they also commit to them rather than doing a business is to hand off the task at hand almost does this for you to take a meeting, then they're not ready to raise a series of numbers that are up-front capital intensive to founders.

Look at what adults told children in the trade press. The more people you can hire a real idea that investors are also much cheaper when bought in bulk.

Brooks, Rodney, Programming in Common Lisp for, believe it, this paragraph is sales 101. But that oversimplifies his role.

Thanks to Robert Morris, Rajat Suri, Paul Watson, Trevor Blackwell, Sarah Harlin, Fred Wilson, Jessica Livingston, Erann Gat, Qasar Younis, and Mike Moritz for putting up with me.

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