#bc idk i just do 2day

[nyaskitten]

I'm hosting another Magma! I changed the canvas to 2000x2000 because I don't think that many people will show up this time.

#raine's art #ninjago #i doubt anyone will see this #bc idk i just do 2day

[pup-pee]

jokes @ night r not funny in the morning,,,

originally the blue was green but then i decided 2 b pan

#dont even ask me what i was trying 2 accomplish #CAUSE IDKKK #sighs @ least they look cute igg #bart is still hard 4 ne 2 draw idk sobbs #also i seem 2 draw him in a lot of tanktops while i draw kon in a lot of crop tops #i just ????????? #anyways i literally have no idea wtf this means #it was supposed 2 b silly & funny but if ur evil u could make it angsty #not me thoo…..i would neever #cause what kind of sick freak does that #((its me im the sick freak)) #no but this is supposed 2 b silly ITS JUST RLLY NOT FUNNY IDK #konbart #kart #still 2 scared 2 but it in their main tags or whateverrrr #NO BC LIKE I DONT WANNA GET RIPPED APART #omggg the reason y it looks more angst is bc i put the ‘dw’ isnt itttt #ughhhhhhh #ok sure whatever GRRR AAAAAA #i have a better kart drawing idea but this 1 was easier 2 draw #brrrr #i feel like im just mostly going 2 b drawing kart 2day oh man #((i say this like i dont draw them everyday)) #puppee art #holy u can rlly tell i h8 stabalizers batman #i say ‘line arts my fav part’ but i dont actually do nice line art idfkkk yyyy but mayb its bc u dont need clean lineart 2 render stuff??? #@ least i dont #man i should render smth its been so long since ive like ‘completed’ a full drawingg #HELP IM STILL UPSET HOW I DREW BART I LIKE I JUST DONT WANT 2 DRAW HIM LOOKING LIKE A KID BUT LIKE OTS KINDA HARD WHEN HES NEXT 2 KON THIS I

[traitorsinsalem]

i sound like the youngest boomer on earth whenever i say this but it really was a mistake for baby gays to learn about the term fruit. idk what it is about the internet that makes kids see a derogatory term for a marginalized group they’re part of, or even just adjacent to, which they’ve never been targeted with and decide it’s just their new Special Inside Joke Swear Word. some 16 y/o online calling a picture of a celebrity wearing a gaudy sweater fruity or faggy isn’t “reclamation” it’s just parroting homophobia and not funny in the slightest.

speaking among onesself or close friends is one thing but when it gets to the point (and it has) where people are calling real life people they barely (or don’t) know homophobic terms, it doesn’t matter if the person saying it is gay or not.

#succ speaks #also i thought people were only like this online but being at a lac. people really just do this to people they know irl. #like they actually just say things. having to listen to a girl call ross gay 'fruity' in a poetry class and then like a week later... #...a guy who i was kinda friends with but also hung out with a total of like 5 times decided yeah sure i can call the group chat faggots #just......wow. people really live like this. and not even 8th grade gsa attendees who are still learning. young adults in the workforce. #i also think this sort of faux solidarity is why this same demographic desperately tries to express personal parallels to experiences... #...they have never gone through and/or cannot possibly go through. something about slowly losing the ability to listen and needing to talk. #<- also sorry to sound like a psych major but egocentric approaches to social media has done irreversible damage to so many young ppl... #...but at the same time we (young ppl on social media) are to blame because social media platforms are egocentric by design. #being invested in onesself isn't a cause of shitheadedry but a lot of people have really just gotten so dismissive of others it's insane. #also idk pretend i made a solid link between this and The Lost Art Of The Sincere Apology And Taking Accountability #this is just me parroting a convo i had w some friends at lunch 2day btw. posting it online bc someone probably needs to see this. #<- AS IN. ppl have definitely thought the same thing and need to see it articulated not that someone needs to feel called out by it #feeling called out by this would be like. a personal problem to sort out

[lemongogo]

i need 2 stop drawing static stuff . white bg . front facing pose. <will do it again

#i looked thru my media tab 2day .horrific #WHERES THA PURPOSEEEE E #there doesnt have 2 be any . of coursies . #but thats smt i want to work on rly hard T_T 2024!!!!!!!!! #smth smth reflection but i am happy with what ive done in 2023 #definitely havent finished as many things as id hoped but thats okay.kind of touched on it w that one trgn comp a few months ago #but i tried 2 be more confident in areas i wasnt so sure abt before and it paid off in a way that im happy with T__T❤️ #like despite all my gloom & burnout and artblock . i had a lot of fun . and im rly fortunate that ive been able to meet the nicest ppl #through it T__T #idk what jm talking abt anymore but j think . i am happy w the direction im headed in and i just need to work harder now on variability #and concept and composition. not rly sure where to start but i think compiling some of my favs in a single place #and studying them will help. :3.. AND NOT GIVING UP A SKETCH IF ITS FRUSTRATING ATM😭😭😭😭 #some of them ..that one w meryl and vash . i ould not for the life of me figure out and i was like soo done w it #but then i was likeno OK just do it who cares . and then i found a workflow that worked and it WAS SOO MUCH FUNNN AND I STILL RLY LOVE HOW #IT TURNED OUTTT .. #and the one w knives . the beautiful universe one . i rmbr being so annoyed by a similar attempt that inwas lkke fuck it im just gna use the #biggest brush ever and play arnd with stuff bc its not gna see the light of day and fhen j agonized abt sharing it and everyone WAS SOOO #NICE TO ME !!&2&2 LIKEEE it was one of my earliest trgn pieces so kind of new 2 da scene and lkke . idk man it helped me enjoy my art from #an outside perspective after struggling w the doubt and its now one of my favorites ever too … #ORRR .. the vash and wolfwood one w the silly blue sky bg .. the textures were so mindless and fun #or the elendira . SOOO MANY FUN ELENDIRAS.. the perspective nail gun one is still a fav bc i shy away from perspective bc its hard as shit #but it worked out and i luv it tew . #sory anyways . very happy. and thankful^__^ ik when j post stuff like URRG MY ART!!!it mostly jst comes from .like GAAH want 2 push myself #harder bc i know itll be fun once i get 2 where im going T_T #anyways if u got 2 this point u r lkterally angel my angelll~ hamtaro pic #tys

[barkingangelbaby]

I feel like such a broken fucking person lol

I talked way too much in the tags don't read them

#fighting off the ideation like my life depends on it!! bc it does!!! #been good about not thinking certain phrases but F U C K am i feeling it. i want to turn into a pile of dust #i am so desperately trying to work on myself and change my patterns and bad habits and perspective but it feels like i always fall short #i try not to talk about it online but I'm just. having a very hard day with N because we experience our feelings in different ways #i isolate myself bc i struggle with regulating my reactions and tones when im having an episode but she needs me to talk through things and #i sometimes just. can't. bc I'm not done experiencing the negativity and am not in a place to have a productive convo bc shame spirals etc #we just spent a long time talking and being patient and i thought i was understanding and explaining myself well but i just. idk. #i don't know how to explain that of course i love her even if I'm isolating myself. of course i love her although I'm nonverbal today. i jus #t can't *make* myself talk when I'm like this i don't want to be nonverbal i don't want to isolate i don't want to be a distant partner i do #n't want to fall back into these patterns related to my grief i want to be better i am trying to be better i am working so fucking hard on #being better. i just feel so defeated bc this all spiraled from me not wanting to decide what to get for lunch n using a poor tone about it #I'm about to talk with her some more but I just. kinda don't want to exist right now. fuck dude. it feels so fucking awful when i upset her #like i love her so much she is so important to me and it breaks my heart that our entire day is shot bc i was tired and cranky #i just don't understand how that equates to me not loving her bc she is my whole world dude. I'm going to throw up #i also don't know how to explain to her that scrolling on tumblr is comfortable to me I'm not ignoring her it's just the SM that i scroll on #like we're hanging out watching tv together I'm gonna scroll a little bit. it's just not insta or anything #idk my mind is scrambled I'm crying I just want to be a better person who can calmly communicate my thoughts and emotions #today has just beat my fucking ass dude. i isolate so those feelings don't get translated into my interactions with others #i don't even know what i typed in these tags I just don't want to off myself or think about it I'm fighting myself so much 2day #rAMbles

[chirpfinch]

HIII HAPPY BIRTHDAY CTUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#I WANTED TO DO SMTH BETTER BUT I DONT HAVE TIMETAKE THIS!! #ctubbo my ctubbo i love u dearly you are so cool and smart #ctubbo #c!tubbo #tubbo #tubbo fanart #ctubbo birthday #tubbo birthday #ctubbo fanart #my art #2 years old 2day pop off #him and tommy are having cake and watching movies and playing games still celebrating their bday week #they make a cake Every day bc they’re extra and they’re happy they can spend this one together #ranboo n michael made them both little gifts and ranboo keeps sliding blocks of gold/diamonds into their pockets #tommy is surprised every time tubbo just laughs #idk man. they r having a good time and they deserve it #everyone’s in snowchester and happy and alive idc about lore today #ALSO the shirt was from tommy early lmanburg days and it said bitchboy but he crossed it out to be a birthday shirt. birth boy

[nomaishuttle]

the way i balance staying true to my tumblrina nature while also having a job and bills and rent is that at work while cleaning a room ill think of something id like to post and then repeat it over and over in my head and refine it until it sounds right and then i either post it as soon as i get a second to Or i forget it bc i think of anew post to make. and they always get 0 notes but its ok

#not a lot to post abt in a retirement home. its like yep this room is exactly the same as it was last week and the week before as well. #2day we mughtve had a missing resident idk. i also fink i saw her like 2 seconds b4 she went missing so im sure they found her #i was just sitting in the lunch room Seething and Coping ( iwas 40 minutes behind and had just found out i had an extra room on top of that #btw i didnt get out until 4:30. my shift ends at 330 but my ride leaves at 4 and due to The crisis my boss said i can stay clocked in until #4 so that i can do liberty and get overtime et cetera. whats hard is sometimes when i say et cetera i want you to read it as et cetera but #other times i want you to read it as E.T. cetera. but what can you do. #anyways where was i. right i was in the lunchroom oh also my ride didnt leave without me bc marians my bestie. anyways. i was in the break #room idk why i keep calling it the lunchroom im not a highschooler. its a breakroom we just sometimes eat lunch in there when im not outsid #or hiding in Closet <3333333333 #aaaanyways what was i talking abt. a good thing abt desktop tumblr is that i can read through all the tags so far #mobile its like a whole debacle basically. idr how but its like. whatever ider what i was talking about hold on #oh right. so i was in the break room and there was a nurse in there and on the walkie (they all have walkies. brenda also has one) i heard #someone go Sooo 245 wasnt in her room and she wasnt in the cafeteria :worried: im gonna look around 2nd but keep an eye out.. #and then like a minute later that nurse got up and quickly left idk if she got a different message bc i was listening to starstruck by sorr #and trying to figure out how expensive (indian restaurant) is. the answer is very ughhh i just wanted butter chicken and garlic naan and #rice and that wouldve been THIRTY DOLLARSSS :sobbed: it is very very good food though #i caint get it anyway my check hasnt come in. Tee be honest i might go ahead and order it anyway once my check does come in i rly rly want #butter chicken rn. if in being honest. #also the nurse was playing like a kids cooking channel youtube video rly loudly and the guy in it was obnoxious and i was having such a bad #day i was just sitting there hunched over in a corner forehead against the counter it was diree guys. #the way i made 'yeah i overheard on one of the nurses walkies that they couldnt find a resident for a couple minutes' into a 10 paragraph #debacle. this is what i mean when i say i have to be a tumblrina do you know how dire it would be if i had a social life and went outside #somebody would be like hey how has your day been! and id make it into a 15 hour long historical reenactment. lord

[bsaka7]

I think my apt is now cleaner than when I moved in!!!! A few last things to put in my car in the morning.... a long drive to pick my mom up, and then a much longer drive home!

#23hrs in 2days u guys r not going to wish u were me #18 of that with my mom tho so I won't be driving the whole time thank goodness #I feel basically zero emotions upon leaving everyone kept being like #This is your last time doing this and this #And I've just felt the same as always..... Idk #So we'll see if I start like hysterically crying in the car in one of my several next drives.... #I have to leave by like... 8am at the latest which is not bad bc I've been waking up at like 5:30

[zees-little-blog]

*whimpering noises*

#sfw agere #safe agere #sfw agedre #sfw littlespace #annoying #i told you u i was gonna b insufferable 2day ;-; #went to the mall n I though I saw my crush who left my school b4 I could talk to her last year but idk n now i’m sad :< #and tired bc socialising hard #n my cramps are worse #i just want 2 curl up in a tiny little ball n be held #im sorry for basically ventposting i would never do that on my main :(( #ooh I should probably tag it #vent

[caruliaa]

well okay my bets for the countdown are evermore longpond studio session

#/J but img im soo disoriented abt all fot his what does it meann i dont even have insta im j learning via tumblr dash #i think its prob j merch but im hoping its the next tvs announcment #(i both think its a huge stretch 2 think its new music and dont wnat it 2 b bc iirc other artists r relelasing 2day #so tht wld make doing it p shitty) #but like omgg like. the thing is merch makes no SENSE toh bc she j last week released new merch but j OMG #idk idk dont wanna jinx it. but also been listening 2 btr on loop recently so if smth happens i did tht #/j #just aah ogm ogm omg. aaahh rdhrgfjrtfgdfdsfgnsrasd #flappy rambles

[mannequinjoints]

omg its gonna b fun to actually talk on our blog now LOL!!! yaaayy this is fun <3

#i wonder if we should like differentiate whos posting 2??? #bc i want ppl 2 know its me <3 #i know ppl do like emojis?? but were like on desktop half the time (i know) #and its like so annoying to have to google emojis whenever u wanna use them #maybe just like #birch speaking #idk LOL!! we'll figure smth out #omg i missss going on long tag rants like this YAAAYY #having a little talking moment a little discussion time #its so funny that i (birch your best friend birch) keep getting pulled out 2day bc we r sooo fatigued #like idk how im even here i guess bc im being sat on by 2 low energy alters #they r just staring me down and making sure i dont do anything #hi blank and poison my besties hiii!!! <3 #(gets bitten by both of them)

[strawbebyjam]

(,:

#do our brains not have a Okay That’s Enough Crying For One Day! sense #or is that just me #like girl you are getting NOTHING from being sensitive about all this #need to stay off socials and stuff like that because i keep getting content that makes me feel worse. can’t go on walks bc too anxious n #itd give me too much time to think. can’t focus on uni bc i keep crying. cant cry bc then i cant stop. cant talk abt it bc then i cant stop #and everything ends up reminding me of something and i dont know how to stop it and im trying so hard to HDNDBD i want to be good ablht thi #s so badly but i cant and im so scared i never will be i dont knlw who im honna turn i nto if im already losing it and its barely veen 2day #i just dont know what to do GDJDHDHD i really really eeally dont know where to go or what to do lr how to hide or how not to hide #or who to tell or how to or #like i’m just doing. so so bad. and i can onl y see myself doing worse #i just want to go scream HDDNHDDH i’m not mad it’s just So Much GDNDBD i just hate it here i think #and i’m. so worried and i have absolutely no right to be but i’m so worried and i’m so scared and i want. to fix everything sobadly #but its not in my control and its just. so crazily unfair HDNDBFFB **** have had to deal with so muchalready and its just not. fair like #idk i’m. things are so unfair and that’s a given but its so. #neg #mano.mindtalk

[ishistudy]

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

#I want to be cool but I’m so crazy in a not fun way #anyway I’m mad at my husband #5 year anniversary #2day #and we’re not doing anything bc work is crazy for the both of us but like #he gets off his late work just now and decides to go to the movies with a friend #UGHHHH #I also buy myself flowers and he absolutely left my birthday to the last minute and :( #idk what to do anymore #like I’m feeling crazy for thinking he resents me or doesn’t love me as much anymore but Jesus

[grapefruitpeelz]

my bones 👇🏾

[ID: a high quality stock photo of ripple-cut potato chips in a pile against a flat white background. end id]

#feeling very excited 2 have two days off from work #also feeling very Incompetent 2day… really genuinely worrying I might get fired but I feel like maybe I won’t bc some ppl seem to REALLY #not care abt their job and not do anything purposely. whereas I’m trying rly hard but idk if that’s falling on deaf ears yk? I also do a few #things wrong but it’s just bc I’m a lil less than a month @ this job…… #idk maybe I just need 2 get anxiety meds

[lains-reality]

sorry for bothering u by sending u this ask :( but i really, really REALLY need your help 🥺 I know that ND is not a method by which we manifest but I CAN'T HELP 😭how do I manifest FOOD? How do I make anything appear in front me within seconds? Actually I left my house 2 day ago and now I'm kinda homeless and I've already spent all the money that i had and now I don't even have enough money to buy food and shelter for me 😔rn I'm staying in my friends home for next 2days ONLY and after that I gotta handle it on my own bc my friend won't be able to keep me in her home for so long :( idk what I'll do after 2 days I'M SCARED?!! Like please?? Help me out 😣

I sent this to soph too bc I'm just so scared 😭so srry for that but I want u guys to help me out

please girl read the MASTERLIST

also on sophie's pinned, it says shes not answering questions about manifestation anymore. idk if it was a recent add, but you need to actually read who you're sending this too

nondualism and "manifestation"

dealing with hard times?

extra / not mine

this will pass

when suffering happens

self torture (manifesting)

ego can't do anything

self inquiry:

who is sad? who is worried? you might say "i am worried!" the thought is worried? you can say 'i am worried' and not mean it, so its not the thought. you claim the thought, identify with it. you don't have to. "but i feel a pit in my stomach, my heart beating, i'm sweating-" that's okay! do anything needed to calm the body, its a reaction to percieved threat. it can be there and you don't have to make it a problem, do you? "but i feel-" the feeling just comes up in awareness, it rises, then falls. you can let it be there and it'll fall. by identifying the feeling as particularly yours, it can prolong it. where is the centre of you anyway? you are here claiming thoughts and feelings as yours, but who is the one that claims them? when you take yourself to be the mind-body, you will continue claiming all of this as yours. thats why you start questioning it all.

"the identity is a shadow. it is not us. analyze your mind briefly, and you will find that is nothing but a byproduct of societal conditioning, peer opinions, books, movies, whatever content you've most willingly consumed." - luvcompass

if you know who sophie is, then you know what 4dbarbie-backup is ... so you know she has a 2 part q&a with all of ada's posts ... the answers are already there. you're not getting anything new. there's no magical sentence

"I know that ND is not a method by which we manifest"

you already know you are in the wrong place. sorry. none of this is manifestation. don't come at it with such a mindset. if you want manifestation content, go to aphroditeapprenticee-archive. stay safe and take care!

#lainsmail #i'm still on break btw

[tub3rculosis]

ik i said i wouldn't engage in petty discourse but im feeling evil 2day so

i will never forgive how much everyone shit on that song "girls" by rita ora et al. bc no way yall heard a song BY QUEER WOMEN abt being queer women n went "idk man... kinda lesbophobic" babe what? god forbid bi women express themselves and have fun w it

do yk how fucking cool that song was to hear when i was i was finding out that maybe i might have been bi? just 4 queer women havin fun w identity? and the fact that rita ora fucking APOLOGIZED for making that song which she described as "written to represent [her] truth and is an accurate account of a very real and honest experience in [her] life" is kinda fucking appalling. ik this is old news and this song came out in like 2018 but uh. still smth i think abt lol?

^bonus, found this in the wikipedia page 4 the song and like yeah. preach girlypop

#girls song #rita ora #charli xcx #cardi b #pop music #bebe rexha #queer #bisexuality #bi #bisexual