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youssefguedira · 20 days

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wrote this instead of doing any of my actual tasks <3 tw for brief mention of animal death (by hunting)

Yusuf has been dreading this since the moment they left for Akkala. He had made as many excuses as he could to stay in Goron City for as long as he could, but every one had run out in the end, and he could no longer put off the inevitable.

The first time he had walked this road, his father had accompanied him with a platoon of guards, still cautious, still reeling from the attack that had taken Yusuf's mother. The second time there had been fewer, but still many.

In the years after that, the number of people sent with him had decreased even further until it was only two or three guards, enough to keep him safe. His father stopped accompanying him on these journeys after he turned fourteen and there had been no sign of their worth.

Now, only Nicolò.

He follows, keeping a respectful distance away from Yusuf, but closer than he had walked before they had gone to meet Nile, to ask for her help. He doesn't ever ask to stop, or to slow down, letting Yusuf set the pace. He keeps a hand on the hilt of his sword and does not speak.

What is there to be said? Nicolò knows what lies at the end of this road, even if he does not know what it will mean for Yusuf.

Yusuf can feel Nicolò's eyes on his back. It is bad enough that the whole kingdom knows he is a failure: he does not need Nicolò to watch him fail and say nothing.

The sun is low, casting the landscape in burnt orange. It would be beautiful were it not so horribly familiar. There is a cabin nearby, and not far from it, the Spring. They will stay in the cabin tonight; they will leave for the Spring in the morning and spend three days there, then return to Goron City and after that, the castle.

Yusuf thinks about returning, about his father's inevitable disappointment, and feels sick.

“Yusuf,” Nicolò says, sounding uncertain. He is not yet used to calling Yusuf by his name. “We are not far, yes?”

Yusuf had forgotten that Nicolò does not know every cursed inch of this road the way Yusuf does. “No, not far. In a moment you'll see the cabin.”

Nicolò says nothing. Yusuf glances back just long enough to meet his eyes before looking away.

What is Nicolò thinking? Yusuf can never tell.

Yusuf catches sight of the cabin a moment later. Dread sits like a stone in his stomach.

When they get closer, Nicolò takes hold of his elbow, gentle. It startles Yusuf all the same - he hadn't realised Nicolò was that close to him.

“Let me go first,” Nicolò says. “To check. But stay close.”

Yusuf nods, and lingers barely a handspan from Nicolò's back while he surveys first the outside, then the inside, of the cabin. Once he's satisfied, he gestures for Yusuf to enter.

“You should rest,” he says, and he is being so gentle with Yusuf it almost hurts. Perhaps Andromache has told him what this will mean for him: she has accompanied him before.

Yusuf shakes his head, because sleep means dreams, and dreams will be worse. “What are you going to do?”

“I am going to find something for dinner,” Nicolò says.

“Let me come with you,” Yusuf says. Anything is better than sitting in this cabin alone with his thoughts.

Nicolò looks at him for a long moment. Perhaps he takes pity on Yusuf, or perhaps he thinks that it will be easier to keep Yusuf safe if he stays with Nicolò. Either way, he nods. “All right.”

----------

Finding something for dinner means that Nicolò leads Yusuf a little way into the woods, far enough that the foliage and the dying sunlight makes it difficult to see, and bids him hide beneath a tree, in a space formed by the roots, while Nicolò crouches beside him with his bow, nocking an arrow in one smooth, seamless motion. From his vantage point, Yusuf can see a small clearing with a few fallen trees.

“Do not move,” Nicolò instructs him in a whisper, “and do not make a sound.”

Yusuf rests his head against the tree and watches the leaves move in the breeze. It is quiet enough that all he can hear is their rustling, the sounds of birds and animals calling to each other, the rushing of the stream nearby. After a moment, and with nothing else to watch, Yusuf begins to watch Nicolò.

He has gone as still and as quiet as the trees around them, barely breathing, his shoulders rising and falling only slightly, like he has become a part of the forest. Faron Woods is much further south from here, but Yusuf supposes that this forest must be somewhat similar to where Nicolò grew up. He wonders who taught him to hunt; who taught him to be so comfortable in this place. Why he left it behind to travel to the castle and work for the king.

There are a lot of things Yusuf wonders about him. He cannot tell if Nicolò is aware of Yusuf’s watching; he must be. Still, Yusuf cannot help but watch.

It happens faster than Yusuf can track. Nicolò goes entirely still, and draws his bow swiftly, silently. Yusuf holds his breath and so does the forest.

Nicolò lets the arrow fly.

Yusuf doesn’t see whether it finds its mark, but Nicolò looks for a moment and then stands. “Wait here,” he says to Yusuf, and then heads for the clearing. When he returns he’s carrying something behind his back, the arrow in his other hand. Blood drips onto the grass.

“You can wait inside while I prepare it, if you prefer,” Nicolò says haltingly. Yusuf shakes his head, and so he sits on a log outside while Nicolò skins the rabbit, arms wrapped around his knees and chin drawn up to his chest. Nicolò keeps his back to Yusuf, shielding most of it from view.

Who taught him this? Yusuf wonders. It is a part of Nicolò he has never seen before.

When it is done, he takes it back inside to cook over the fire, and they eat it alongside the bread and cheese they brought from Goron City, across from each other at the cabin’s little table.

“When do you want to leave, tomorrow?” Nicolò asks softly.

“I don’t,” Yusuf says before he can stop himself, and then adds, “I don’t know. Early, probably.” The thought bursts the little bubble he’s been in since they arrived. He doesn’t want to leave, could stay here for the three days they’ve been allocated and return to his father without even having tried and it would change nothing.

“Just after sunrise, then,” Nicolò says. “It is not far, you said?”

Yusuf shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Not far.”

----------

The water is freezing.

It has always been freezing. But Yusuf knows well enough that if he stands in it for long enough, it will start to warm. It reaches to around halfway up his thigh; when he was younger, it felt deeper.

The stone in front of him offers nothing. No sign, no indication that anything is listening to him except for the water and Nicolò, who has been standing at the gate of the Spring for however long he has been in here. Has he been listening? Has he heard Yusuf pleading for something, anything, dreading the moment he returns to the castle and his father looks down at his left hand and sees nothing there?

What does Nicolò think of him now? If he did not see a failure before, does he see one now?

His legs may be going numb. They tremble beneath him, struggling to hold his weight. How long has he been standing here?

“Tell me what I am doing wrong,” he begs the stone. His voice sounds like it’s coming from somewhere else. “I know I am not the one you wanted, but I am trying. I am trying. I have given everything. I do not know how much more I have left.”

The stone says nothing.

Nicolò says, “Yusuf.”

Yusuf hears him without listening, falls to his knees in the water and does not even feel the chill.

“Please,” he pleads. “I cannot return – I cannot give anymore.”

There is a splash behind him, and then there is Nicolò, pulling him to his feet, pulling him from the water. Yusuf tries to hold fast - he cannot leave now or it will have been three days in the Spring with nothing to show for it.

“Yusuf,” Nicolò says again. His grip is gentle but unrelenting, and he is warm. Yusuf, shivering as he is, can’t help but lean into it. “You are exhausted. You are going to freeze. Come with me.”

“I can’t,” Yusuf says, even as he lets Nicolò take his weight, lets him guide Yusuf out of the Spring. “I can’t.”

There is a small paved area where their camp is set up. Nicolò has kept the fire going, or restarted it, while Yusuf was in there, and he half-carries Yusuf over to it now. Yusuf’s legs buckle under him the moment Nicolò lets him go, and he sinks onto something soft laid over the paving stones. He blinks, and there is a bowl in his hands, warming even if he does not really taste it.

“It was never supposed to be me,” Yusuf says without really meaning to.

From across the fire, Nicolò watches him.

“It was supposed to be my mother,” Yusuf whispers. The only sound between them is the crackling of the fire. Yusuf is so, so tired. He has never said this to anybody else, not even Andromache, but he cannot keep the words from rushing out of him now.

“It came to her when she was nineteen,” he says, “and that’s how they knew it would happen in her lifetime. So she trained, and she mastered it, and we were ready. And then she was killed, and because I was the oldest, it came to me.”

He does not like thinking about this. He has not thought about this in years. They do not speak of it anymore.

Nicolò is still watching him.

“I was asleep when it happened,” Yusuf continues. “I dreamt it as it happened, but I didn’t know until later. The moment she died, I woke up screaming. They told me afterwards that I was– I was glowing, bright enough that nobody could look at me for long or get close enough to see what was happening to me. They just had to wait until I came out of it. It felt like I was burning.” If he closes his eyes, he is there again, twelve years old and terrified.

“That’s how we know it should be me,” he says after a moment. “Who can do it. Because I did, once, but never again, despite all of this.” He waves at the Spring, the water, the stone.

Exhaustion tugs at him. His eyes will not stay open, but he cannot let himself fall asleep, not yet.

“Don’t let me fall asleep,” he tells Nicolò. “There’s still time.” It cannot be late yet; the sun has gone down, but it is not quite dark. “Don’t let me.”

“You have to rest,” Nicolò says. It is the first thing he has said to Yusuf since he pulled him from the Spring, and Yusuf cannot tell what he is thinking.

“I can’t fall asleep,” Yusuf insists.

“At least let yourself warm up first,” Nicolò says. There is a pile of dry clothes in his hands - where did he get them?

Nicolò convinces him to change and to sit back down, to rest a little while longer. This time he steers Yusuf to sit down on his bedroll instead, and Yusuf’s grip on his arm goes tight.

“Don’t let me fall asleep,” he says again.

“You cannot go on like this,” Nicolò says. “Sleep, and I will wake you in a few hours’ time.”

Yes, a few hours. That, Yusuf can afford. “Promise me,” Yusuf says, but his eyes are already closing unbidden.

Nicolò says nothing.

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When Yusuf wakes, it is still dark outside, and there is a cloak that is not his own draped over him. Nicolò is crouched over the fire only a short distance away. He catches Yusuf’s eye, but doesn’t say a word.

It all comes crashing back at once: the water, the stone, Nicolò. Yusuf sits up.

“You didn’t wake me,” he says.

Nicolò watches him for a long moment. “You needed the rest,” he says finally.

Suddenly his consideration stings. “That wasn’t your decision to make. What time is it?”

Nicolò glances at the sky. “It will be sunrise soon.”

Yusuf’s heart sinks. Sunrise means return, means return to the castle and his father with nothing. He gets up, pushes Nicolò’s cloak aside. “You should have woken me.”

Unexpectedly, Nicolò pushes back. “You would have only made yourself ill. You were barely conscious. I would not have done it if–” “That was not your decision to make,” Yusuf snaps. “I am not a child, Nicolò. I am capable of handling myself. I have lost hours.”

Nicolò does not say anything. Yusuf almost wishes he would keep pushing, but he does not. He simply folds himself back into the same blank expression he always carries, and again, Yusuf cannot read him.

“If the sun will rise soon, there is not much use in staying here for much longer,” Nicolò says eventually, quiet. He doesn’t meet Yusuf’s eyes. Guilt twists his stomach.

Did Nicolò know? Did Andromache warn him? Or was he just worried?

Yusuf nods.

They pack up their camp in silence, side by side. By the time they set off on the road back towards Goron City, the sun has risen, and the early light turns the world around them to gold.

Yusuf walks, and Nicolò follows behind him, as always.

#neon writes #the zelda au which lives only in my head #spring of power baby! if this seems vaguely familiar setup wise its because ive moved the vague plot of the mount lanayru ficlet here #this is a fairly early stage in their relationship booker is the 3rd champion they find (before andy who's the last)#so like. yusuf is warming up to him (hence him actually talking to nicolo) but is still. going through his whole deal #he'll apologise i promise hes just having a rough go of it the springs are a bit of a touchy subject #spring of power btw. nicolo on the other hand has not quite realised the full extent of whats up wrt yusuf and the springs #and his father generally. he doesnt think yusufs a failure tho thats just yusufs brain #anyway ive been replaying age of calamity and Wow botw zelda is the character of all time. for sure. obsessed with her #so i'm channeling that into this. feat. the reveal of what happened with yusufs mom #anyway. enjoy <3 #the old guard #kaysanova #fine main tag. whatever. this is for me and the 2 people who have expressed interest in this au #it haunts me daily

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ywpd-translations · 8 months

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Ride 741: Danchiku's “shout”

Pag 1

1: In their eyes,an unshakable will....!!

Pag 2

3: Ahhhh

4: Danchiku is exhaling!! For so long!!

3.... 4....

5: 5 seconds!!

Ahh

6: No, he's exhaling even more!!

8... 9.... 10 seconds!!

Ahhhhh

Pag 3

1: 11 seconds.... 12 seconds!!

3: He's emptying his lungs using all his muscles around them!!

5: This is bad!!

Pag 4

1: It's coming!!

2: “Panda shout”

“It's a breathing technique”

“I become twice as fast”

The onw who reaches the sensor line first wins this race!!

If I don't get ahead now

3: He'll catch up!!

4: Ahhh

Pag 5

5: Filled up of “fresh”!!

6: Panda....

Pag 6

1: Shout!!

Hiigaruaaagh!!

Pag 7

1: Hiigaruaaagh!!

Pag 8

1: He caught up to me!!

2: Twice as fast!!

3: Kuaaaaagh

Pag 9

1: We entered the last curve!!

And Danchiku is still accelerating!!

2: This is Danchiku at “100%”!!

Pag 10

1: Cough cough

This is so hard!!

2: 300km left until the sensor line!!

3: Catch up, catch up, catch up

Catch up!!

Pag 11

1: Sugimoto Terufumi!!

2: Kuaaaaaa

200m left!!

Pag 12

1: Cough

Cough

2: We're all both human beings

We all have limbs, and a head

Danchiku, and Onoda, and Naruko too

3: We're all human beings!!

4: Our bikes aren't all that different

My Colnago is ligh and fast!!

5: So, I'll catch up

I'll catch up!!

6: I should catch up!!

Pag 13

1: I watched it, their running

3: I watched them from the sidelines

For three years!!

4: Onoda!!

Onoda-kun!!

Sakamichi!

Pedaaal!!

5: Doesn't matter how hard it was for them

Pag 14

1: They never gave up!!

3: Calm down, heart

Calm down, breath

4: Panda shout? Bamboo Hop Shot?

5: You're working hard,didn't you, Danchiku?

That's nice

6: Then I'll indulge you and let you practice with me!!

Kuaaaaaa

Pag 15

2: They left Onoda and the others behind.. so the race is on this lap!!

Nii-chan!! On!!

They're coming!!

3: Danchiku and Sugimoto

4: 100m left!! This will settle it!!

They both started the final sprint!!

Danchiku is ahead!! And he's smiling!!

Pag 16

1: Sorry, Sugimoto-san

As expected, you ran and practiced in Sohoku with no breaks for three years

2: But

It's over now!!

3: I'm sorry, but give up please!!

4: Sugimoto!!

5: Nii-chan!!

Pag 19

2: Kuaaaaaagh

4: Ju... just now....

Pag 20

1: They arrived at the same time.... on

2: At the end.... Sugimoto stretched ahead with a long sprint...

Who knew he could do something like that!!

3: Nii-chan really is amazing, on!!

4: But

A tie at this moment means that-

5: This race

Pag 21

1: Hasn't ended yet!!

It's a suddent death match until they settle this!!

2: A long.... sprint...

You still had.... something like that....

4: Good job.... my Colnago-chan, good job

5: No... now....!!

Should we go another lap, Danchiku?!

6: This guy.... he doesn't give up!!

#yowamushi pedal translations #yowamushi pedal #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 741 #sugimoto is so cool?????#i did not expect it tbh lmao #this chapter is prettu surprising??? makes it so difficult to guess whats going to happen #i was talking with my sister earlier and we got to the conclusion that its possible that neither of them will go to the ih in the end #and both rokudai and kinaka will #because - lbr sugimoto is too weak to compete in the ih like IM SORRY AND I HATE TO SAY IT BUT ITS TRUE!!#and he's still treated as weak or anyway not so strong you know? and yes i do know we had junta last year who was the same #but thats it we cant have the same kind of character twice right?#so yeah the chances of him going are still low for me. but at the same time. danchiku and kaburagi are being too obnoxious #its like watanabe is trying his best to not make us cheer for them #and for sugimoto to be beaten once again by them? that'd be harsh #and its suspicios that thei race ended in a tie for two times. it should have ended already at this point #so. my guess is that for some reason (maybe onoda's choice? he is the captain after all. or maybe something will happen with the first year #for some reason neither of them will be chosen and roku and kinaka will #but tbh the only thing im 100% sure is that rokudai will go to the ih #everything else is a big ?????? in my mind lmao

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bericas · 1 year

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Why did you do that? Because I love you.

#twedit #scallison #scallisonedit #teenwolfplus #teendramas #scott mccall #allison argent #making this made me so crazy i had to fight for my life to not make this a lyric edit #thats what happened with the cant help falling in love scydia set if anyone was wondering #it was supposed to be like this and then i felt crazy #literally this whole set my head was like #i see the look in your eye and im biting my tongue you'll be the love of my life when i was young #isnt it amazing despite all the space in the world im still close to you then you said to me are we enemies no baby we could never be #if i could be stronger and if you were just older we might last this out longer but the task just gets harder and my face turned to red #we huddled under covers we ddint say anything if you hadnt come ovre i would be so much colder i would be so much less confused #goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky you were more than just a short time ive got a lot to live without #ANYWAY.#these scenes are very Specific to me they are so specifically about hurt/comfort to me #both of them bloodied in such different ways; both with blood on their hands; scott's is his own. allison's is mostly her own. but not all #the gentleness that comes not because of the absence of violence but despite the abudance etc etc etc etc #i refrained from including stuff from the movie trailer but the movie has really made me a scallison endgamer its crazy i never was #but i feel fucking Insane #the question is always why and the answer is always because i love you

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opens-up-4-nobody · 27 days

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...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

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mxwhore · 2 months

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mutuals. i am getting caught in my own bitterness again...

#ill vent because this is basically my bedroom #my younger older brother is caught up in that phase of romantic love when nothing else matter but girlfriend #thats fine i guess it happens #the thing is he forgot about my birthday and i was sad. then he remembered that he forgot and called and said #heyyy lemme make it up to you. lets go grab dinner this weekend (last weekend)#he forgot he even said me and went wine tasting with his gf. so now im double sad AND pissed because #i said no to my friends who actually wanted to see me because i was under the assumption that we were going out #so i sent him a passive aggressive message like heyy dinner was great thx for that xd and he was like what dinner??#long story short he realized he fucked up again and invited me to dinner for realsies this time #but like. he isnt really inviting me? he and my niece were going to a kiddy place he promised he would take her and said i could tag along #i told him i realize now he just invited that to save face and to forget about it #but now im even sadder cuz i love my niece and she is always happy to see me... i just feel like im stupid or something #theyre going tomorrow and im debating on whether i should swallow my pride and go for her #i probably wont #im still not over it #anyway whatever i got work to do

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ra-vio · 11 hours

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semester is almost over. im dying

#my oc #rune #mori #i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing #even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED #i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately #trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day #and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom #a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere #and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man #i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH #but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week #this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail #and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont #i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i #how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project #my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that #so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work #because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it #but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO #anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again

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gibbearish · 2 months

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its been fun watching the hbomb subreddit try very very hard to stick to the "if anyone harasses james on my behalf they wont see the light of heaven" by imo overcorrecting to "any time anyone mentions somerton ever it's because you're obsessed with him and want to pick on him because he's the villain of the week" bc its like. yknow actually i dont think people keeping an eye on his various attempts to weasel back into the spotlight and keep doing his same old shit over the last /two months/ is the same as harassing him because it's hip and fun. i think maybe those are not the same thing

#and like obv yes its possible to do both but idk #im just kinda like. 'dont harass him' and 'ignore him completely even if hes continuing to do shitty things' are um #different. those are different #origibberish #i will say though that subreddit is very good for gauging if im getting weirdly parasocial at him #like i still have yet to do that at a celebrity i like afaik because i just. Dont Like Celebrities usually #so now that i have one (1) that autism brain has finally decided to look up to im like Uh Oh Is It Finally Time #and then i see posts on there sometimes and im like. ohhh ok no i get it now #and i mean i can see why they feel that way‚ its the hbomb subreddit and Thats The Most Recent Hbomb Video #and it had yknow. immediate and impressive results #so of course people are going to a) talk about it a lot and b) talk about the aftermath as it happens #and if youre in the 'only talking about this one guy' group and that one guy has only talked about one other guy in the last Year #like. yeah . youre mostly gonna be hearing about that guy #oh parasocial abt hbomb not abt somerton i just realized how the phrasing there was weird jwhfksbfk #that being said i literally made a post like two weeks ago abt how i didnt actually know his first name so like i think im probably good #my scope of knowledge about him extends Exclusively to whats In His Videos #or well and i guess to like. patreon posts too but i tend to just dismiss patreon notifs without reading them a lot KENFKSNFMDB #like yeah yeah this show i follow posted their podcast i dont follow early for patreon subs i dont care get out of my way

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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months

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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like #that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to #remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly #hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out #fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break #them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc

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feline-insolitum · 4 months

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i think im gonna make a pronouns page and then not link it anywhere (it will be full of "cringe" neopronouns that i think are neat)

#i wont link it anywhere because no one will even use them #thats what happened last time i made one #ERROR 501

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taeyungie · 7 months

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😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much.#he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months.#thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most.#but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated.#i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do.#to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓#please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓#we have esch other and we will be okay 💓#sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

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bluewinnerangel · 2 years

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small receipt because im seeing a lot of people comment on harrys state of mind when around jeff or olivia or the stunt crew. my new-ish bf recently took me on triple date with his two best work bros. one of them is married to an italian man, and during dinner we mentioned coachella and my bf made a joke about me loving harry more than him. the two guys (colleague and italian husband) casually said that they had met him over christmas in italy and that hes even more gorgeous irl. obvs i lose my mind a little bit but try to keep cool and they tell me the story of how the husband has this really good friend who has a house in the same town harry does. over christmas they went there with her, and then they went out to lunch and ran into harry, olivia and a bunch of other people, including some kids. nothing new here, but what i thought was interesting was that they said that their friend went up to harry to say hi because they've hung out before, and that he gave her a hug, introduced her to olivia and they all had a brief conversation. afterwards the three of them commented on the whole thing, and apparently the friend made a quick comment about how it had felt a bit awkward and he was colder than usual. i asked them if they had felt that way, they said he was very kind but def a bit aloof, and that the atmosphere felt a little weird, but that they wouldn't have noticed but their friend did because she said that he's usually super bubbly and happy and charming and that day he felt a bit off, and she had never met olivia before. i obvs was super interested in knowing more, but they didnt share anything else and also said that their friend barely said anything else about it so they didnt want to pry because shed basically never told them about him before and it felt like she didnt want to gossip. i just thought it was interesting that someone hes met alone would pick up on such a different vibe when hes with her. also the italian guy made fun of his husband because he had no idea who olivia was and when they told him they were dating he thought it was a joke for like an hour. oh also she was wearing the love on tour jacket which is how they were able to spot them right away and both husbands thought it was a bit weird lol.

#holivia #i feel like ppl arent gonna believe this because they wont believe h&o were in italy together over christmas #but i think they were and i think pics were taken (i mean obviously thats the whole point) but they werent released for some reason #maybe covid related #the backlash for going on another holiday like that.. or harry somehow managed to stop it? or theyre still waiting to use it another time #but were all gonna know its gonna be from last year so im not sure how that woul work #unless its like iPhOnE hAcK pics and not pap pics so theyre gonna be like oh look private shit #which like all options are disgusting but like bottom line your receipt is in line with what i think happened? I guess?#like i think harry has his nice places of comfort in italy and olivia just put her fingers in it and dragged her whole fam to this place #and went this is mine now hey while im here-#plus to get back to the receipt were seeing this on pics on vids like he looks like i look when im having being bullied flashbacks in #a crowded room ..fight of flight mode idk how else to better describe it and its nothing like how he is on stage #all of this is just.. so bad. i hope its not as bad as it looks but im afraid its a lot worse #also if this receipt is sent to a bunch and im just here late hi here i woke up hi

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