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#because they are soooo problematic
grrrlsoverdramas · 2 years
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I thought if I waited to start Vice Versa I could look at the tags to better understand how the heck the plot works but I looked through and I’m more confused lmao...
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sionisjaune · 9 months
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Part 2 of the problematic sebcedes polyamory by which i was consumed this afternoon:
The aftermath of the failed threesome is as follows: Seb spends Saturday evening watching Taskmaster with Lewis instead of dropping him off at Nico’s apartment, and he is awoken the following morning (read: the crack of dawn) by a spectacular blowjob. Lewis beckons him out of bed with promises of smoothie bowls and granola. Seb likes these things, but not as much as Lewis does. He wonders whether Nico gets this treatment when Lewis sleeps over there. 
By 5:30 a.m., Seb and Lewis are on the way to the beach, Seb in the driver’s seat and Lewis blasting ENNY from the stereo speakers. When they arrive, Lewis changes into his tiny swim trunks behind the car, and Seb strips down to his boxers. It’s fucking freezing, and the sun is just peeking above the horizon. Seb shivers and wiggles his bare feet atop the sand while Lewis ties his hair back.
The polar bear plunge involves charging madly towards the tide with a few hundred other nutty participants and submerging one’s entire body in near zero degree water. Seb grabs Lewis’s hand and orients him towards the water. He can feel himself grinning. Lewis is already bouncing on the balls of his feet—he loves this shit too. 
Seb and Lewis race down the beach, hand in hand, until the water is up to Seb’s waist, and he can practically feel his balls retracting into his body. 
“Fuck, that’s cold!” Seb shouts over the sound of a hundred other freezing people shrieking. 
Lewis giggles madly and pulls Seb under. He comes up sputtering and shuddering, but Lewis rewards him with a sub-zero kiss on the lips. 
In the end, Seb has to drag Lewis out of the water and back to the car. He retrieves the emergency blankets from the trunk, and they cuddle up in the backseat with a thermos of mint tea. 
“We should do this again next year,” Lewis says, knocking his head against Seb’s. 
“I think my toes are going to fall off,” says Seb. Lewis snorts. 
-
After the polar bear plunge, Seb savours a picturesque dinner with Lewis downtown before Lewis has to leave to start packing for a work trip. He wants to protest, but he knows it really will take Lewis most of a day to stuff his ridiculous, designer luggage. Lewis sends him a text when the plane is about to take off, and then five days later Seb is waiting in front of the airport to pick him up. 
Seb helps him heave two suitcases and a compact duffel into the back before kissing him on the cheek. Lewis lingers in his arms for an extra second, his chin on Seb’s shoulder. 
“I missed you,” says Lewis. 
“Let’s stop at the pizza place you like,” Seb says. 
Lewis pulls back with wide eyes. “Cauliflower crust?” 
“Obviously,” says Seb. 
-
Two days later, Seb is back at the airport, dropping Lewis off for the promised Bali trip. Nico is waiting at the gate with his own ridiculous mountain of luggage and giant, tinted sunglasses sliding down his nose. Lewis jogs happily into his arms while Seb lingers beside the rack of overpriced travel pillows. 
Seb crumples the receipt for Lewis’s green juice in his fist, watching Nico and Lewis tow their suitcases towards the boarding area. Nico is literally intolerable—Seb can’t stand to be in a room with him. Speaking to him is like speaking to an ex that knows how to push all of his buttons and doesn’t hesitate to do so whenever it’s convenient for him. The only good part about it is that Nico doesn’t like him either, which prevents Seb from shouldering any guilt. 
He walks back through the airport to get to his car and drive home. Roscoe greets him at the door, snuffling like a human with a severe sinus infection. Seb kneels to the floor to pat him on the head, and Roscoe flops on his back and wiggles gratefully, soliciting tummy rubs.
Seb used to have another partner—this was in the middle of Lewis, two-ish years ago—but he was younger and ultimately not interested in Seb’s lifestyle, so it ended. Still, it was nice to have someone living in his home.
Now it’s just Lewis. Seb is okay with that. 
-
Seb and Lewis are in the car again, on the road to spend the weekend camping out in Joshua Tree. Lewis reserved the site he wanted six months ago and has been talking about it ever since. Seb convinced him to pack one suitcase instead of two, and made him promise they won’t break up during the fight that will inevitably happen while pitching the tent. 
“If anyone would break up with anyone over a tent,” says Lewis, his elbow out the window, “it would be you breaking up with me. Not that I’m calling it, or anything.” 
“Ha ha,” says Seb. “Wait until I tell you you can’t light candles inside the tent.” 
“The tent is flame resistant,” says Lewis. “I checked.”  
Seb shrugs, one hand on the wheel. “Sure. Let’s test it.” 
Lewis snorts, and settles against the window. The dust from the road is floating inside the car, mixing with the afternoon sunlight to form a heavy haze. Lewis looks good in rugged conditions—as good as he does wrapped in fluffy bathrobes and slathered with shea butter.
“So,” says Lewis, turning his torso towards Seb. He really should wear his seatbelt correctly. “About two weeks ago. We didn’t talk about it… but that was objectively awesome sex, right?”
“Excuse me?” says Seb. It figures that Lewis would trap him in the car for this conversation. He blows out an overwhelmed breath. “It was… satisfying, in a certain respect.” 
Lewis tilts his head and sucks on his lower lip. He has that wobble in his eyes like he isn’t very happy with what he’s being told. “You’re telling me that wasn’t the most intense, coordinated scene we’ve ever done?” Lewis rubs his temple. “Fuck, that was so hot, when both of you…” Lewis trails off and his thighs fall open a few extra centimetres. Seb wonders if he’s remembering the part where he and Nico fucked Lewis at once, both holes filled, or when Seb held Lewis down so that Nico could eat him out. 
Seb chooses his words carefully. “It was a challenge,” he says. “There was a lot of negotiation that you didn’t see beforehand.” 
“It was perfect,” says Lewis. Seb chances another look over at Lewis, spread across the passenger side. His smoothie and his kombucha occupy both cupholders, and he clipped an air freshener to the dash that smells like pina colada. “Thank you for doing it for me.”
Seb grips the steering wheel and forces his gaze back to the endless road. He can’t think of anything he wouldn’t do for Lewis, even if Nico were involved.
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cryptidjeepers · 7 months
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Im not going to say specifics but theres so much 'through the grape vine' discourse on the internet that is so frustrating for a lot of reasons. But the most frustrating kind is the "baseless or otherwise unnuanced/overdramatic accusation of someone or something" that is either debunked, old and outdated or proven to be a much more complicated topic. But all most people will see is that first callout post and will internalize it as fact for years. Theyll continue to parrot it on other platforms whenever its mentioned and then outsiders will see that out of context and internalize that as well. Until its so far from the context and the damage is irreversible.
Or will take what might have been a understandable criticism but will turn it into a "this thing is irredeemablely bad and youre a bad person for liking it." If you so much as mention the thing you will have people saying "isnt this thing evil and bad?" Because of a tumblr post they read 5 years ago.
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apollo-zero-one · 21 days
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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incidentalblr · 1 month
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(to a gay couple) so which one of you is why georgia and which one of you is on the way home
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Tedbecca stans that shit all over Sambecca do understand that the “but she’s his boss!1!!” argument is made completely redundant by the fact that she is also Ted’s boss, right...?
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psalmsofpsychosis · 7 months
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oh nature is soooo healing i've started drawing and reading fucktons of fanfics and commenting on them and gathering inspiration and listening to fantastic songs and I'M WRITING HOLY SHIT I'M FUCKING WRITING
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sadsmihalleyface · 2 years
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now hear me out-
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hanzajesthanza · 2 years
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i watched the pilot of brba the other night and it occured to me then that there is a specific kind of guy that i become obsessed with turning over and over in my head like observing a coin shine in the sunlight:
a tragic adult male figure that ends up hurting those closest to him (and/or) everyone around him, because of his own crumbling to society's expectations and pressures of him as a man, leader, patriarch, or simply as a person, and a slow succumbing to self-loathing, insanity, addiction, curse, evil, or just long-suffering... and the tragic consequences of his instability and harmful behaviors affect his family first, perhaps the ones he loves most, or the only ones which love him, before it finally gets around back to him and he begins to suffer tenfold. sometimes they are dads (biological, or adoptive), or they are something like an unofficial guardian to a child, or they *would* have had a child had it not been for their behavior. sometimes there's a redemption arc or redeemable qualities, and sometimes there's just a slow demise.
#THISSS is what my mind revolves around. this is what i think everyone else should be obsessed with and no one seems to be#from top to bottom beginning with the good guys: emiel regis | geralt of rivia | simon petrikov (ice king)#for 'decent': odysseus | agamemnon | nandor (i put them in 'decent' by their ancient standards. obviously the war + pillaging isn't great)#nandor i gotta be real with you was a last-minute addition to this because wwdits is a comedy but i realized he fits this formula#despite the 'stay dead' mention. i forgot about wwdits#and i also forgot that he fathered a bunch of children soooo i edited it to put him in the father area#the 'awesome / decent / stay dead' ranking is by my own personal judgement of them btw and how much i like them#im sorry to put simon so (relatively) low but who didn't hate the ice king in the first few seasons of AT...#i actually really like odysseus... he's my academic poor little meow meow... but... problematic fave#agamemnon and nandor i like but they are just stupid#and below that i just have hate and contempt in my heart for them. like i hope they die and suffer greatly#i would have put emhyr but the thing is that emhyr was evil (power-hungry and selfish) since the beginning and he didn't really become#corrupted or anything he just continued being a horrible person. like just read a question of price basically lol#i dont need to explain geralt or regis. or do i. maybe i should. idk#basically for geralt i just think about sword of destiny and something more and how he left ciri in brokilon and condemned the both of them#and also how he wouldnt take the child when he went to see calanthe in something more like just real dumbass tragic hero behavior#regis. he's not a tragic hero but he destroyed his life catastrophically. he suffered a lot and made it everybody else's problem#so if you have any recs on other characters that are like this maybe i will become obsessed with them idk.#i think they have to be at least somewhat likable. learn from their past actions and try to make things better. even if they dont succeed#actually if they dont succeed thats even better (see: geralt)#but if they just suck for real then i just don't even want to watch or read more like damn get some help or k*ll yourself#i should honestly make my OC's dad like this. he already 90% is. honestly.#i like it when they are good on the inside :> and try to turn things around and save ppl they love but they meet a tragic end anyways :')#except odysseus i think he should get to live happily ever after on ithaca i'm honestly kind of glad we lost the telegony#men who are thiiiiis close to commiting s*icide from the extreme pressure society places upon them#but instead they chicken out and instead stab their wife or child. OR BOTH#txt#cw domestic violence
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zehecatl · 2 years
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sorry to hear about that anon that went around slandering you. a word of advice, don't waste your time and energy engaging with antis at all, they really don't listen to reason and they're not looking to change their stance anyway. just keep doing what makes you happy, and don't let anyone drag you down trying to convince you that there's any morality in cartoon characters lol. hope you're having a good day.
aw, thank you anon! <3
i've thankfully been in this 'game' for a long, long time, so i'm well aware of how antis are, and, like. i've seen some real nonsense from those fuckers
(like, i've seen at least one anti saying a 20 year old and a 28 year old dating would be 'uncomfortable', which really isn't that bad from them, but which is just so stupid it's been stuck in my brain since i saw it)
it's very sad that the majority of them legit refuse to listen to others, but, well, i guess that's the internet
but yeah, at this point i'm just done pretending antis aren't a literal plague on the internet, like it's sooooo bad. and what happened to me isn't even bad, just frustrating and childish, but it really shows how. brainwashed? the majority of the internet have gotten, because MK/Wukong isn't even like, problematic?
like i think that's the part that frustrates me the very most. if MK was a minor, or the whole, dad!Wukong was canon, i don't think i'd be as grumpy about it as i am. like, it'd still be stupid, but i can at least understand where the problem would lie, there
but peachynoodles is just. it's literally such a normie ship? like???? did no one else read Tamora Pierce's Immortal series growing up. was that just me. am i the only one infested with mentor/mentee brainrot
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containmentbreach · 2 years
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lots and lots and lots of thoughts on the new‏‏‎ ‎toh‏‏‎ ‎but the only thing i'll say tonight is that even if‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎huntlow‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎is canon i will never like it as a ship. not looking for an argument just my opinion. i tried to make it so the ship name wouldn't even show up in the tags
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alifeincoffeespoons · 7 months
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babel marauders au when
(sirius's languages are mandarin, french, and italian. james's languages are tamil, arabic, and sanskrit. remus's languages are french, russian, and welsh. peter's languages are german and spanish.)
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the-badger-mole · 3 months
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What Being a Zutara Shipper Means for ME!! (not YOU...necessarily)
Where is this idea that Zutara shippers are monolith coming from? I'm soooo bored with people thinking that there's any sort of requirement to shipping this couple. A lot of Zutara shippers ADORE Aang and Mai. I'd go as far as to say most like at least one of them. And that's cool. That's cool...
Hating Aang and Mai is fun, though. They are problematic in different, but oddly similar ways. Picking that apart is a completely valid way to enjoy the fandom. It's not required. No one should have to hate them to enjoy Zutara, but if you do hate them, hate them as loud as you want. They are terrible characters. They have abusive tendencies. Aang, as a character, absolutely perpetuates the Nice Guy myth that as long as you're persistent enough and not a Chan, eventually the girl who's never shown any interest in you will fall for you. Because you're "tH3 r3@L H3r0OOooO!" It doesn't matter that you've violated your crush's consent. Twice. Or that you go on to flirt with anti-miscegenation on a whim and only don't go through with it because it would effect you personally. No biggie!
I know it's a bit harder to hate on Mai. After all, Zuko did have the audacity to talk to her, his girlfriend about his feelings. He was SO out of line for that. How DARE he want support from her? Doesn't he know emotions and human connection are like garlic to emotional vampires like Mai??? Still, hating Mai is fun, so I'll do it anyway. I know it's so quirky, edgy goth of her to threaten him with death if he ever broke up with her again and then go on to not let him know her own father is trying to assassinate him, but I'm not a fan. Sorry 🤷🏾‍♀️
You know what, though? I found my people, as few as we may be. And I did it without telling people how they should or shouldn't feel about any characters. It's a good thing I figured out how tagging and blocking works. 🙃
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