#because they aren't on my blog and I had to go digging

[wolves-in-the-world]

(the gifs in question, for exceedingly weird ep1 eliot vibes)

#because they aren't on my blog and I had to go digging #like i THINK this is what he looks like when he's a specific kind of defensive and irritated and tbh kinda sulking but. goodness knows. #because we don't see this again so IF there's a watsonian explanation it's something about not trusting the team yet #anyway I didn't actually mean to talk about it more here #as per usual I'm blaming how warm it is here. #falderal speaks

[transrevolutions]

french revolution dashboard simulator

🐀 ami-du-peuple Follow

uh actually man has the right to deal with his oppressors by devouring their beating hearts. hope this helps.

🎩 departicle Follow

Hold up. Okay. Actually, fuck this. This sort of violent rhetoric should not be tolerated on here. Do you seriously think this sort of thing is going to make the nobility give you more rights???? You must be out of your minds! Reported.

🧵 seamstressproud Follow

reblog to devour this guy's beating heart

#username checks out lmao #politics #everybody point and laugh #common adp w

6,178 notes

organt-deactivated06151792

update: new canto out now!!! go check it out 😈😏🥀 (remember don't like don't read <3)

📜 sacredhostreceipts Follow

@centuriesandskies this you?? not such a great look for a convention rep ngl

🌄 centuriesandskies Follow

listen. I wrote this a long time ago, before I went into serious politics. the account is deactivated for a reason.

I was twenty. I did poorly. I can do better.

#sj.txt #if this is the worst dirt you can dig up on me #i'm way less corrupt than half the people in the convention these days #at least i'm not doing fucking. embezzlement. #also sacredhostreceipts if you're who i think you are #don't you have better things to do rn?

231 notes

🌎 landscape-showdown Follow

🌎 landscape-showdown Follow

why the fuck is everyone tagging this with french??? political figures?

#what the hell is going on over there #also maybe cool it with the death threats #I don't want this blog to get taken down #what's a girondin #is this some joke I'm not french enough to understand #showdown update

5,012 notes

⛪ progressivepriest Follow

Unpopular opinion but why is everyone so up in arms about the new Civil Oath? Literally all it's asking is for you to promise not to commit treason just because the Pope tells you to? I can see where people are coming from with the whole violation-of-religion deal, but can you blame the Assembly for trying to make sure the people aren't forcibly subjugated by the wealth of the nobility?

faith-first-alwaysdeactivated03011791

Sounds like something a heretic would say. To betray the Pope and king is to betray the will of God and your eternal soul! You should pray for forgiveness and pledge loyalty to the monarchy or have fun burning in hell. Sorry not sorry.

⛪ progressivepriest Follow

L + ratio + iirc the Bible says "it is easier for a rope to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven" (Matthew 19:24)

🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow

occasional based catholic moment, go off OP!

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

looked the faith-first-always guy's blog, he's like a massive anti-huguenot too 🙄 why is it always the prot-exclusive radical catholics smh

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

LMAOOOOO HE DEACTIVATED

#religion tag #percs fuck off #anyways op makes a valid point #reblog #percs dni

3,719 notes

🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow

she committee on my safety til I can't go public

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

I don't understand the joke, can someone explain please?? 🙂 Thank you!

🧵 seamstressproud Follow

is that fucking MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE?!!?!?!?

🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow

oh my god citizen robespierre I'm so sorry this was not meant to break containment lol I didn't even know you were on this site please forget you saw this

#this is the most embarassing moment of my life #literally sobbing rn #the original post is /j i prommy #i cannot be known as the citizen who had to explain this to the government

19,853 notes

🪓 indulgentsfuckoff Follow

fabre d'eglantine is NOT your poor little meow meow citizens he literally falsified decrees from the national convention and embezzled money to line his own pockets. I don't care how uwu babygirl you think he is he is a CRIMINAL who should be ARRESTED

💛 i-give-people-bread Follow

🥖🍞🥐

#baguette #loaf #croissant #i-give-people-bread #indulgentsfuckoff #silly

2,011 notes

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

fucking fed up with the constant threat of the swiss guard, I think it's time we got some gunpowder and weapons and took things into our own hands yknow what I'm saying

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

I'm no longer joking about this btw

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

update:

hopital

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

ok bc I've gotten like 50 asks about this: I am not injured and I am not in need of medical care. the punchline was that we stormed the fucking hotel des invalides to get guns and powder. didn't want to clarify the joke before now for security reasons but everyone knows about that and the bastille thing by now. please direct your money to people who actually need it.

#shouldve clarified the last post was /j #however I assumed yall knew this joke already #anyways #revolution #personal #500 #1k

1,930 notes

🌾 nopain-nograin Follow

got so high at the festivial 2day i thnk i saw hte suapreme being

#robespiere speech was prboably 🔥 #unforntuately i camt rember any of it #grainposting #oipum ehre is somtehing else thes days #memes

8,256 notes

🎨 jldavid-real-moved Follow

incredible speech from @springtimeofgovernment today at the jacobin club. nobody should be permitted to use their positions as civic leaders to commit crimes against the people, even under the guise of revolutionary fervor. if it comes to it, I too will drink the hemlock with him. for france. 🤝🤝

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

Thanks for your support, @jldavid-real

The situation over here is deteriorating really quickly, the representatives are getting violent and abandoning due process entirely. Anything you can do to stand with us now would be very appreciated. You do a lot of great work for the revolution, and I trust you completely.

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

@jldavid-real are you still there? We could really use your help right now.

🌄 centuriesandskies Follow

boosting @springtimeofgovernment here, can confirm he's been injured in a skirmish at the hotel de ville, they're passing summary death sentences without trial, @jldavid-real where is the help you promised us??? the people of paris are our only hope now.

edit: of course he moved blogs. coward.

#sj.txt #disappointed yet unsurprised #marat would be ashamed of you #9 thermidor #update

15,794 notes

🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow

DNI if you support any of these groups/people or their actions: m0narchists, f3uillants, br1ssotins/g1rondins, th3rmidorians, b0napart1sts, h3nri du v3rgier (also goes by c0mte de r0chjacquelin), charl0tte c0rday, or lafay3tte

(h3bertists and dant0nists you're on thin ice. behave.)

#censored so they dont show up in the tags #dni #get your nasty ass ideologies off my page #won't hesitate to block and/or report any violators #pinned

52 notes

gracchus-babeufdeactivated05271797

reblog to make the directoire choke to death on their stupid fucking outfits

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

hey staff. yeah you. where did this blog go?? notfishgoujon and prairial-95 are gone as well?? cowards too afraid to show your faces lmao especially after the fucking mess the directoire's made of the country. bet you anything that staff are on their fucking payroll too iykwim at least the republic didn't tolerate fucking bribery

#this site's gone to the dogs since thermidor yr 2 #following the trend of the rest of the country tbh #i'll probably get nuked for posting this #if so i'm not making a new account #i'll just make a paleocities or smth #politics tag #reblog #don't play with me ik full well gb didn't delete his blog of his own free will #they also zero note glitched it #just when you think they can't stoop lower

0 notes

📕 spectrehauntingeurope Follow

it's been 50 fucking years since gracchus-babeuf (and the other CoE blogs) were deleted without warning and still no response from staff, the govt, or anything. the site's gone through a fuckton of ownership changes and still nothing.

we're working on a bit of a project (some of you might know abt it already), it's gonna be out prob in the next year or so. remember '89. remember '93 and '94. remember '97.

the people will rise again. it's only a matter of time. 🚩

-mod karl

#french revolution #pigeon.txt #shitpost #frev #frevblr #robespierre #saint just #marat #oof this was. a project. #dashboard simulator #funny #meme #unreality #just to be safe

[prettiestlovergirl]

Hello I love your blog 😭 could you do Mean!Rafe Cameron who’s “punishing” fem!reader by not touching her in any way but he really wants to fuck her so he fucks her thighs 😇

This is filthy I’m going in hell but okay

oh, anon, i love this request🤭 if you are going to hell, i am right there with you, baby! hope this lived up to your expectations. enjoy, my lovely! 𓆩♡𓆪

tw: MDNI; fem!reader; toxic/jealous/mean! rafe; degradation kink; thigh fucking; some impact play; teasing; orgasm denial; this is unedited, will probably come back and fix any errors later!

you were currently being punished by your boyfriend, rafe, and it wasn't even your fault! you'd just been giving this guy directions but rafe was convinced you were about to let him into your pants!

you tried to explain again n again but he wasn't having it, so now, not only was he not touching you, you weren't even allowed to touch yourself! it was pure torture!

today, however, rafe needed you. desperately. he couldn't just fuck you, though, because then you'd get the wrong idea and be an even bigger slut.

so he had to come up with this alternative, dragging you up into your bedroom, his rings digging into your hips, before shoving you onto the bed. your room was so perfect and pristine, he loved fucking you in here, absolutely wrecking your perfectly made bed.

"god, you're such a dirty fucking slut, walking around in these teeny fucking shorts, tempting me all fucking morning." he huffed. he made quick work of your shorts, tossing them somewhere in the room behind him.

he groaned instantly as he noticed the large wet spot on your panties. "fuck, so fucking wet, ruining your pretty little panties." he huffed, used his hands to hold your thighs apart.

he hooked his finger into your panties, lifting the already soaked fabric to the side, blowing so cold air against your skin and watching as your desperate cunt clenched around nothing and gushed with arousal.

"mm, fuck!" you squealed, leaning up on your elbows as you watched him between your thighs. it had been sososo long since he'd been down on his knees for you n you were desperate for him. "please, rafe..." you begged.

"quiet." rafe demanded, spanking your pussy with his rings still on, just to hear you squeal and whine out again. this was still a punishment, after all.

you whined out, hips bucking against him in slight shock as you pouted, but your pussy gushed with more wetness against his palm. "such a dirty whore." he chuckled, his voice deep and mocking.

he used his hand to move your wetness around, trailing your slick up and down your smooth thighs, smirking as he got them good and slippery.

after he was satisfied and you were a pile of whines, he pulled away and slid your panties back over your cunt. god, he loved the way your hips bucked when you lost contact. he just loved how fucking desperate you were for him.

he unzipped his jeans, quickly pulling his cock out. you were practically drooling as you watched him wrap his hand around his red, swollen cock.

he tugged it a few times, using his thumb to rub the leaking precum in while you continued to watch, your breathing heavy with desire.

rafe lifted your legs up, bending them up to your chest before pushing his cock through your pretty, plushy thighs with a relieved groan.

you couldn't look away, the view of his angry, swollen cock peeking out between your thighs made your toes curl and your mouth hang open.

he instantly started thrusting into your thighs, taunting and teasing you while his fingers dug into the fat of your ass. "fuck, look at you, you're ruining your fucking panties, aren't ya?" he teased while you gripped your bedsheets with a whine.

"fuck, rafe, please!" you moaned, bucking your hips up so he'd rut against your panty-covered pussy with each and every thrust, providing you with some much needed friction.

"such a needy fucking slut." he groaned, pinning you down to the bed more as he started to fuck into your thighs faster and faster.

your skin was just so fucking soft and wet, it took every ounce of his self-control to stay where he was. the irrational part of his brain wanted to just say fuck it and bury himself into your dripping cunt despite your punishment.

"fuck, please, rafe, need you to fuck me! i'll be such a good good girl, please!" you moaned, continuing to buck your hips up against him and relishing in the friction.

your please brought him back, reminding him why he had to punish you like this. you had been such a desperate slut! i mean, you were practically whoring yourself out to a fucking stranger, right in front of him!

"this is your punishment, baby. you fucking deserve this, be grateful i'm even doing this for you." he grunted, as if he wasn't burying himself between your thighs entirely for his own satisfaction.

"please, please, 'm so sorry! please, just wanna cum so bad, please!" you begged, your pretty lashes fluttering as desperate tears welled up in your eyes and his thrusts just got faster.

"fine, i'll think about it." he relented, grunting more as he gave you a wicked, cocky smirk while he squished your thighs together even more. he loved seeing how fucking pathetic you looked like this.

he continued to fuck your thighs, purely chasing his own high and leaving you to rut your hips up in order to gain any sort of friction or pleasure for yourself.

he used you like his own personal fuck toy, his grip bruising until he finally came with one last thrust. he coated your stomach and thighs in ropes n ropes of his sticky white cum.

you looked up at him with a louder whine, still rutting against him as he stopped his thrusts, silently begging him to take pity on you and relieve the ache in your throbbing pussy.

"y'know, i thought about it but... i really just don't think you've earned it."

ᵈⁱᵛⁱᵈᵉʳ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵇʸ @ᵐᵘʳᵘᶠᶠⁱⁿ

#☆lola writes ! #rafe cameron #rafe imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x you #obx smut #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks smut #rafe smut #rafe x reader #rafe fanfiction #☆ lola's requests !

[strawberrystepmom]

old flame, same glow

pairing: sex worker toji fushiguro x f!reader

word count: 6.1k

about: old feelings spur you on a wild journey of paying for sex with your high school crush but you find out in the process that maybe those feelings aren't as long forgotten as you thought.

contents: nsfw - mdni. no curses au, reader and toji are similar in age (i imagine reader to be late 20s/early 30s and toji to be early/mid 30s), oral sex (f receiving), lots and lots and lots of pining from reader, reader is very pathetic it's very sad but she's my most special meow meow.

notes: this is a repost of the sex worker toji au on my old blog - full and final, with pretty extensive edits to make it flow better. i was personally asked to repost and who am i to say no? be warned tho, for being a fic about sex work this is surprisingly sexless and for that i apologize but i wanted to focus more on the feelings rather than the smut.

thank you for your support and for reading and i hope you enjoy it!!!

dividers are thanks to @/saradika

“Is it because I’ll never be him?” 

The words your now ex-fiance spit at you during that fateful last fight echo in your mind as you splash cool water over your face, the strap of your purse sagging over your shoulder. A sigh escapes as the droplets run down your nose and lips. 

Him. Toji. The man became a constant issue in your relationship that never seemed to reach resolution the moment you admitted to a one-sided crush you had on him years and years ago, long before your fiance entered the picture. You hadn’t spoken to him since before his first marriage and only knew about his life through social media and occasionally running into each other at the grocery store but your ex took exception after a single cursory glance through Fushiguro’s photo sharing app feed, each picture one of him with his shirt either lifted at the bottom or so tight you can make out each and every divot of his defined core.

Exhaling out of your mouth, droplets go flying against the surface of the bathroom mirror and you fight the urge to scream or cry or maybe both looking at your soggy reflection. You’ve never felt more pathetic in your life and now the outside matches the inside.

The memory couldn’t have surfaced at a worse time and it forced you to excuse yourself from the polite man sitting across from you in a crowded restaurant, shifting through the too small gaps between tables and refusing to make eye contact with anyone else currently sitting in the restaurant as he watched you retreat. 

He was introduced to you by a coworker who spent most of the week wondering why you haven’t put yourself back out there after a year of single life, but you regret saying yes. Not because you don’t enjoy his company - he’s smart, quick witted, and handsome which are all things regularly you’d be enchanted by. 

Truthfully, you know it’s because he isn’t him either.

Digging your phone out of the pocket of your dress, you sigh and open your most recent conversation thread. The bold letters of his name stare back at you, an F in a circle above his last name. Fushiguro.

Free later?

Toji texted you earlier today, while you were still at work, and you opted to ignore him in preparation for tonight. The intention was to clear your mind of distractions or any entanglements you may have lingering, even those with almost unimaginably broad shoulders and green eyes that twinkle mischievously with every salacious wink and smirk he tosses your direction but you didn’t realize you’d fail your mission before 9 pm. 

The sun has only barely set and here you stand in the bathroom of one of the nicest restaurants on this side of the city planning to meet up with your high school crush to pay him for sex. 

Perhaps pathetic is too light of a word for how you feel but you don’t make eye contact with yourself in the mirror for long enough to think about it, gaze darting back down to the backlit screen in your palms.

Your thumbs begin to work before your mind can catch them and you stop yourself, brows furrowed as you press down to highlight the text and delete it altogether. Rubbing your free hand over your face, you sigh and glance down at the text bubble indicating he’s typing on the screen.

You know I can see you typing and deleting?

A knock on the bathroom door makes you yelp as you look over the message, dropping your phone in the still damp porcelain sink with a clatter while uttering low curses under your breath. You hear your name from the other side of the door and in your rush to grab and dry off your phone, you slip the droplet covered device back into your pocket and rush toward the door to see the waitress assigned to your table standing there.

“Uh, he asked me to come let you know that he paid the tab and you can go.”

Panic rises in your chest and your stomach turns as you gaze around her shoulder and look around the restaurant, spotting the table you were just sitting at with its unoccupied chairs.

“Fuck,” you spit before gnawing on your lower lip and the waitress watches you as one would witness a slow motion car crash - incredulously, as if this is something she has never seen before. Part of you wonders if she hasn’t ever seen a woman struggling this close to her, the youthful round of her cheeks convincing you she can’t be old enough to have a lot of life under her belt. 

You shoot her an apologetic glance and she nods curtly.

“I’m sorry you had to do this,” your voice is muffled by your own shoulder while you dig through the purse and pinch out a banknote with enough zeroes to make her happy. You think it’s a 10,000 yen note but you can’t be certain and the embarrassment of the evening is carrying your feet toward the door too quickly to verify.

The door spits you out into a balmy evening but you don’t notice, filling your lungs to the brim with fresh air that feels restorative despite the heat. Patting around your body, you ground yourself with the knowledge that your phone is in your pocket. Pulling it out, you click your tongue at the new notification alert on the left side of your screen and exit your conversation with Toji to look at it.

The number isn’t saved in your phone but the words make you hiss as you look over them, shame making your face heat in a way that a warm summer night cannot even begin to replicate.

Hope dating gets simpler for you. Have a good night.

Sighing, you dawdle for a moment wondering how to respond, shifting your weight from foot to foot. People pass you on the street and you worry they’re going to start to wonder why you’ve been standing in front of the restaurant door for so long, dejectedly staring at the glowing screen in your palms.

Taking a few steps, you begin to walk in the direction of the train station and exit out of the conversation with your date, opening Toji’s contact info and holding down on his number until you hear your phone dialing him.

“Was wondering when you’d get back to me,” he doesn’t hesitate to speak as soon as he picks up the phone and you feel a flurry of butterflies erupt in your gut the moment you hear him. This is so bad, you contemplate with the click of each of your steps. So so bad. “Where you at?”

Humiliated, you dare to feel almost a little comforted by how happy he sounds to hear from you. You’re certain that this is how he sounds with all of his clients, everyone who hires him for a good time, but you want to believe so badly it’s just for you. The lilt at the end of his sentences that you know mean he’s smirking, one corner of his mouth turned up. 

“Do you want to hear the truth or to hear a carefully made up lie?”

He chuckles on the other end of the phone and you wish you could listen to no other sound for the rest of your life.

“Tell me the truth. You’ve never been a great liar.”

A deep exhale deflates your posture and your gaze snaps to your feet as you make your way off to the farthest part of the sidewalk, your voice lowering to keep some shred of your dignity intact. It’s bad enough you’re venting your frustration to the man you pay for sex, you don’t want to think about how mortifying it would be to have a stranger overhear your woes.

“Well, I was on a date and got walked out on so now I’m heading toward the train station.”

A sympathetic hum and shuffling come from the other end of the line, Toji absentmindedly flicking the lighter he keeps in his pocket while you speak. The silence, no matter how momentary, makes you feel awkward and your brain leaps to overcompensate.

“Did you still want to meet? I don’t have a ton of cash but I do have time.”

Another chuckle. You hate that you feel like it’s directed at you rather than to be shared with you and the hot flush of embarrassment makes you reach for your sleeve with your free hand uncomfortably. It was too hot to wear this dress. It was a stupid idea to even come out but his voice keeps your rapt attention, his next words making you genuinely smile for the first time in hours.

“I can’t make you pay full price after getting walked out on. Come over, we’ll work it out.”

Thanking your lucky stars, you shut your eyes tightly and use every ounce of willpower inside of you to keep yourself from crying. Moisture pools at your lashline and you choose to ignore it, relaxing your jaw as you respond.

“You mean it?”

He hums affirmatively and you feel the butterflies in your stomach travel further south at the sound.

“Wouldn’t offer if I didn’t. See you in thirty.”

The call drops from the other end, your phone beeping to signify the ending but you can’t keep a giddy smile from creeping across your face as you press your phone against your chest and open your eyes. Looking up at the twinkling stars above, embarrassment gives way to something you haven’t felt in so long outside of these meetings with Toji that you wonder if you’re about to have a heart attack or something equally disturbing - the familiar flush of affectionate love. 

The unimpressed gaze of your coworker follows you all the way to your desk as you make your way through the rows of desktops on Monday morning. You shrink beneath the weight of it, the wool of your pencil skirt suddenly itching more than it ever has while brushing against your legs with each step. 

She must have heard about how well your date went.

The text message sent from the man still sits, unanswered, in your phone. Shame sits like a brick in your stomach and you keep your head down, even as you sit and the hydraulics of your chair squish beneath you with a “whoosh”. Bouncing back up, you refuse to make eye contact as you get settled, logging in.

“I am never setting you up again,” she spits in a hushed whisper as soon as you sit down next to her, pulling her can of coffee away from you and setting it on the opposite side of her keyboard. 

“If you weren’t ready you should have just said so.”

It’s not like you can defend yourself. You weren’t and remain unready to see anyone else yet it didn’t stop you from immediately stuffing bills in Toji’s hand, legs still shaking while he helped you button your pants and sealed your goodbye with a wink and a kiss on the forehead.

This time, though, was the first time the two of you kissed outside of sex and you’re still reeling. Head fuzzy as you recall the way his scar felt brushing against you for more than immediate sexual gratification. Soft lips, firm flesh, warmth. You swear you feel a ghost of the kiss itself as you sit, surrounded by buzzing overhead fluorescent lights.

The two of you have had sex a dozen times now, once a month your usual schedule, but this time felt different. Maybe it’s the fact that you paid less than usual, maybe it’s the tender way he placed kisses from the underside of your breast clear down to your mound, watching your every move with those glimmering peridot eyes. 

“Are you going to say anything?”

The accusatory voice of your coworker interrupts your reverie and you blink before turning in your direction with your head bowed. Words stick in your throat and you aren’t able to swallow so you mumble a simple “sorry” with nothing further. She scoffs and turns back toward her computer, typing loudly to indicate her annoyance as you click around your desktop.

“He walked out on me, to be fair,” you finally come up with after falling short on a near infinite amount of apologies in your head and she turns once again to stare at you. Her gaze burns and you shift in your seat, the same shame you felt at the restaurant weighing your limbs and keeping you pinned in place.

“He left because you were in the bathroom for 15 minutes with no explanation.”

She scoffs and shakes her head, typing away for a moment before turning toward you again, still unfinished with her thorough lecture about the wrongs you’ve committed. Your body still feels heavy, frozen with embarrassment of your own making, but you manage to sigh and fold your arms over your chest unenthusiastically.

“I was hoping you’d at least tell me you had an accident or something.”

Without thinking, you laugh the hardest you have in awhile and several heads peek above their desktops to glance at your unusual display. They probably think you’re losing your mind and if you were to be frank with yourself, you aren’t convinced that isn’t exactly what’s happening.

You are fantasizing during work about a man you pay to have sex with, pretending you’re anything more than a client with a little cash to blow and he’s a man with a lot of free time and a natural gift for cunnilingus.

Hiccuping, your laughter subsides and your unimpressed coworkers return to their tasks, the one sitting next to you still eyeing in a way that is borderline venomous at this point. You don't blame her, though. You fucked up and can't bring yourself to own up to it when your head is too wrapped up in remembering every peak of Toji's arms wrapped around you.

How the fuck did this happen?

She says nothing further, instead turning to her computer and leaving you to sit staring at the blinking cursor on the screen in front of you. You can unpack every single choice you've made since 16 right now and it still wouldn't lend any clarity as to why you are willing to fuck up every relationship around you for the sake of sleeping with a man who you mean nothing to.

Of course, you don't know that, but it's a safe enough assumption given the dynamic itself.

You swallow thickly, pride sliding down your throat like something you may choke on, and turn your chair toward your coworker.

"I handled it poorly and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

She scoffs, dipping her head low.

"The only person who should be embarrassed here is you."

Accepting the criticism, the truth, you plaster a smile across your face and nod once. Any argument you may have tied together at another point in your life dies and you instead turn back to your work, looking at the little clock on the bottom corner of your screen.

9:15 am.

So many hours left for shame to simmer between your ribs, a molten pool of your own failure to swim around in until you drown.

The lewd pop of Toji releasing your clit from between his lips and your panting are the soundtrack playing through his otherwise quiet apartment. Darkness envelopes both of you, so insatiable by the time you made it back here there wasn’t time to turn on the overhead lights. 

I need to stop, you think in the afterglow of another orgasm delivered by the impressively skilled mouth of the man whose green eyes are fixed on your face. You take in the sight of him, chin and lips soaked from your last release that drenched him. 

“Never seen ya do that before,” Toji remarks from between your thighs. Your muscles twitch on either side of his face and you giggle weakly, tired from being thoroughly fucked and devoured. He places a kiss on your inner thigh, eyes fluttering shut briefly as he does so. 

You want to reach out and stroke his cheek, softening with every ounce of care he gives; the way his thumbs assuredly massage the outside of your thighs. It’s all so…tender. It feels like it's meant for a lover, someone you wanna fall asleep beside and rise with in the morning.

Something meant for you and someone else.

If you weren’t so tired you’d already be gone. Instead you groan softly as he rubs a final pair of circles on your skin and sits up, wiping his face across his bicep. He stands and he feels you looking at him, scoping out every nude sculpted inch of him. How is it fair that he not only fucks like a god but looks like one too?

Truly, some people get all the luck.

“Somethin’ on your mind?”

Shrugging flippantly, you let yourself melt into the comfort of his bedding, getting too used to feeling it beneath you at this point. You've increased your visits from once a month to once a week, twice if you're particularly stressed, and he certainly will never turn down a chance to make some good money.

"How many clients do you have?"

The question leaves your lips before you can really think about the implication of what you're asking but he chuckles, pulling a pair of athletic shorts and nothing else over his softening cock. You can still make out the print of it clear as day and it makes your face heat, looking away and feigning interest in the peeling skin around your unkempt cuticles.

"I'm sorry, that was intrusive," you clarify, gaze flicking up from your nail beds to where he fills two glasses of water from a pitcher on the bedside table. You dare to indulge yourself by continuing to look at him rather than away, his hair falling in his face.

For the briefest moment, you think you'd like to be the person to brush it off his forehead forever but he turns to you with a smirk and holds out a glass of water before you can go any further into the delusional fantasies your mind keeps providing to you without asking.

"Why are you asking?" He drinks after asking, finishing his glass in one gulp and setting it back down next to the pitcher. You take the glass extended in your direction, sipping to try and wash down the lump in your throat before it can fully form. "You like me or something?"

Immediately you shoot up, hauling the blanket over your naked form ready to explain away your questioning and he sits down on the edge of the bed with a smile, reaching out and grabbing your covered thigh with one of his hands.

"I was just kidding, don't get jumpy."

Fighting the urge to fidget, you stay sitting up and sip from the water cautiously again, small mouthfuls at a time to keep from feeling overwhelmed. You're so anxious despite having cum so many times you truly lost track and Toji wishes he didn't find it so amusing that after all these years you still manage to be as neurotic as he remembers.

You were a good girl back then, scared of getting caught running around with the delinquent, but you still puffed each time he'd hold the cigarette to your lips. You still tagged along when he would skip class.

He wondered what happened to you when the two of you lost touch. Figured you'd ended up married with a kid or two like him, waiting for the next day and getting through it to the best of your ability.

He was shocked when you messaged him from your social media profile, the photos displayed on your page less than interesting. You standing in front of a shrine on vacation, you smiling next to your family on your grandma's birthday, you looking lonely with a smile that never reached your eyes in photo after photo.

The rest is history, as they say, and you rush to fill the silence.

"Curiosity got the best of me, that's all."

"Five."

You look up, reaching across the bed to slide the water onto the table beside it and he keeps his gaze fixed on you.

"Four occasionals, one regular."

Eyes widening at his words, you point to yourself.

"I'm your regular?"

He hums and nods and you take a moment to process the information for what it is. A surprise, certainly, and you can't quite figure out how you feel about knowing he sees four other women even if it is just occasionally. Logic smacks you in the face as you realize you hardly have the right to feel jealous over him doing his job but you let that feeling turn in your head for a moment, wondering what he'd do if you admitted how you felt to him.

Would he stop seeing his other clients? Would he let you take their occasional spots, making sure he's making the same amount of money regardless if it's all coming from you?

"My occasionals don't live in the city so we only meet up when they're in town."

Why he feels the need to explain himself is as lost on him as it is you, your head tilted to the side in confusion. Can he tell this is what you need to hear to quell your own wandering mind or is he simply indulging you to ensure that his regular stays a regular? You hate to think the worst of him, knowing he's a good man beneath the antics he has always managed to get wrapped up in, but the ever shifting boundaries between the two of you get less and less comfortable with every session.

"How about you?" He asks while you slide your knees up and tuck them into your chest, his hand falling to the side in the process. "You paying anyone else for sex?"

Giggling, you shake your head. It's embarrassing to even be asked, your desperation as apparent as your skin itself, but you feel like if there's anyone you can joke about it with it's the man whose face is still sticky with your release.

"Nope, one is plenty. I'm not rich, you know."

He quirks a brow and crawls onto the bed, making his way to hover above you with a smirk and that same hair hanging over his eyes the way you always seem to see it in your daydreams.

Without thinking, you reach up and brush it off of his forehead, your fingers gliding across the sweat slicked skin of his face. You look at him for a moment, the way he looms above you, and your stomach turns.

This is too much. Your fingers tremble gently as you trace them over the bridge of his nose while dragging them off of his face, hand flopping down at your side while you struggle to shift from beneath him to get out of the bed.

"You alright?"

You nod and he backs away, sitting across the bed rather than lingering over the top of you. Sliding your legs off of the bed, you stand and feel him looking at your back as you bend and scramble to grab your clothes.

"Yeah, just realized it's super late."

Hurriedly pulling your pants up over your legs, you stop when you realize he hasn’t stopped staring at you since the moment you left his bed. His gaze burns and you wither beneath it, burning out like a shooting star as you stand still as a statue.

“Just stay,” he offers as if it isn’t the most self destructive option you could possibly choose. Stay and what? Chew on your nails the entire night until the sun finally rises and you can blissfully leave? Watch morning cast a warm glow over his sleeping body while birds chirp outside?

A persistent echo of the word idiot dances through your head as you briefly consider his suggestion, wondering if it would truly be so terrible to bury your head against his side and sleep soundly for the first time in months.

You can’t do this. The night feels suffocating, like it’s smothering you rather than enveloping you gently, and you pull your pants all the way up and fasten them while throwing your shirt over your head and pulling it on in a surprisingly fluid motion.

“I gotta go. Thank you for everything.”

Bustling out of his apartment, Toji watches your back head toward the door and can’t help but feel as if that was your final goodbye, gone in a flash the same way you returned to him.

Hey stranger, what's up?

The latest in a series of ignored messages pops onto your screen before you can close out the notification, today marking 21 days since the fateful night you cried in the back of an overpriced car the entire way back to your apartment leaving Toji’s behind you.

The messages are all the same - nonchalant and non committal, unspoken business proposals - but you scroll up through them anyway with a broken sniffle. How you’re still managing to cry over this three weeks later is beyond your own understanding but your fingers reach out to brush the screen of your phone regardless, just as they did the smooth skin of his forehead that fateful night.

Life has been normal without him, you reason. You go to work, keep your head down, come home and fall asleep in front of the TV. You’ve been too depressed to even masturbate but you’ve tried, crying through the measly two orgasms you’ve managed to pull out of yourself halfheartedly.

Part of you wishes you’d just die and end this misery once and for all, the other wants to die thinking of how someone would feel looking at your browser history. “Green eyed guy big dick”, “big dick DILF” , “toji big dick”, the terms thay would haunt you enough you worry they’d emblazon them on your headstone if you were to perish.

It’s dramatic, sure, your world has imploded in on itself more than once already but this hurts with the intensity of three broken engagements. Your heart feels like it could give out at any moment and it nearly does when your phone begins to vibrate and ring. Dropping it to the floor below, you sniffle again and feel another round of sobs bubble up in your throat at the name on the screen.

Toji Fushiguro. Clear as day.

You let it ring and ring until you know your voicemail will pick up and you’ll delete it. Fuck, you should really delete his number as a whole but even that feels too permanent.

How did it hurt less when you left your old apartment with an empty ring finger and a few boxes full of your meager belongings than it does to ignore a man you paid for sex?

Truthfully, you know it was never about the sex and you were treading in deep dangerous waters from the start.

You love him.

You loved him back in high school when he was a bad influence, you loved him when you’d open your hidden photos folder to stare at pictures you screen captured from his social media as soon as your fiancé rolled over to fall asleep, you loved him hovering above you with moonlight illuminating every shadow of his face.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to you and through a flood of hot tears, you close out the open adult website on your phone and pull up a search tab, typing the words that will lead you to listings for apartments for rent as far away from here as you can possibly get.

Your time here is done and you know it, the ding echoing from your phone letting you know you have a voicemail almost sounding exactly like a timer would but you look at the notification anyway.

It's curious he left you a voicemail but you watch as your screen loads from the browser to the one unopened message in your mailbox. Taking a deep breath, you press play and hear his voice drifting through the speakers.

"Hey, uhh...I dunno what I did to piss you off but maybe we should talk about it. I'll be at the usual spot tonight if you wanna meet. Hope to see ya."

It ends as unceremoniously as it started and you cry harder, rewinding to start it over again. Listening to his voice, you trace your fingers along the screen of your phone a final time before deciding to take him up on his offer.

Closure will only help this process, you think, ending it all and closing this chapter for good.

“Look who it is.”

You recognize the voice coming from behind you but refuse to turn in your chair to greet its owner, instead sipping from your cocktail before tossing your napkin down unceremoniously. 

This isn’t your first time at this less than reputable establishment but you hope it will be your last, ready to get away from the shit in this city you wished you would’ve left behind a long time ago. Him included.

“Toji,” you toss from over your shoulder and the man himself enters your peripheral vision. Refusing to give him the smug satisfaction of turning to look at him, you simply nod and begin to tear the napkin you tossed down into little pieces. You’ve always loved how easy it is to transform things with your hands, from whole to broken and back again. It reminds you of yourself in a strange way.

“I could make some time for you,” Toji sucks his teeth and you roll your eyes at the sound. “If you want.”

A shake of your head is all you offer as you continue to throw bits of paper in front of you, a small pile of bits, all that remains of what once was whole. The metaphor dies as you think about it and you sit quietly as he settles in beside you.

“What would it cost me this time?”

Toji shrugs, the already clinging fabric of his short sleeved shirt gripping him tighter with the motion. You swallow thickly seeing the muscles move from the corner of your eye. He’s gorgeous and you hate it, reminding yourself that loneliness is what led you in his direction in the first place. Or at least you’re still trying to convince yourself of that.

You wish you could have stuck to your guns when you promised yourself you’d stop seeing him.

“I can make a deal for my favorite even if she has been avoiding me lately.”

A laugh escapes before you can stop it and you turn to look at him, taking in the deep jade color of his eyes and the dark lashes that frame them.

What point did you start looking for the mischievous little sparkle that lives inside of those irises? What point did this become more than transactional?

You always have and it never was.

You sigh, tipping your head back to look at the dim modern-attempt-at-vintage overhead lighting and he sweeps his large hand across the bartop to sweep your bits of napkin into his palm. 

“No charge, actually.” 

Making a show of considering his offer, you squirm uncomfortably at the boundary that has been firmly broken by it. He has given you discounts, sure, but to offer a completely free no strings attached session is almost more than you can reasonably deny. You have been suffering in his absence, self imposed exile keeping you locked inside of your apartment when you aren’t at work. You aren’t dating, you aren’t fucking, you’re just trying to exist as simply as possible.

Even the most upright girl needs to have a little fun sometimes, though, you think. Especially since this will be the last time before you go and leave him to his life. You have no place in his world and he no place in yours, two paths that intersected briefly but have to diverge eventually the most the two of you will ever be.

Despite your better judgment, you look at him with a bittersweet smile and he finds the look puzzling. There’s still the ever present softness you hold for him deep in that gaze but there’s something else he hasn’t seen before. 

His heavy stare makes you interrupt with a question. 

“What did I do to deserve a free one?” 

He shrugs, dropping your bits of napkin into your drained lowball glass where they soak up what’s left of the water. The cycle into something new begins again. 

“Feelin’ generous. You in or not?”

Dragging it out for a moment longer, you wonder if you should tell him this will be the last time. You’ve known him for such a long time there’s an element of obligation but you shrug it off and rise from the barstool, smoothing down the fabric of your pants.

“Fuck it. Let’s go.”

Toji doesn’t bother to hide his smug half smile, tossing down a few bills to cover your drink. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you start and he cuts you off as the two of you walk so close your shoulders brush. “Told you I’m feelin’ generous, quit making me regret it.”

He’s teasing but you flinch a bit at his words despite yourself. 

What if he regrets this? What if it hasn’t been as mutually beneficial as you originally thought, you’re just another face with disposable income that wants to see what it feels like to fuck a man with reckless abandon? Isn’t this why you walked away in the first place?

The what ifs will drive you crazy if you keep it up so you let the cool night air clear your mind, gasping as he pushes you against the driver side door of your car.

“Toji,” you warn but his hands glide up your sides and you lift your chin to expose your neck, his lips and teeth easily finding the column of your throat. The vibrations of your voice feel good against his mouth and you yelp as he scrapes at your skin using his front teeth. “Someone could see us.”

He scoffs and lifts his face away from your neck, lips mere inches away from yours. 

“Would that be so bad?” You nod emphatically and he rolls his eyes, dark brows knit together as he considers what you’re saying. “Ashamed to be seen with me?” Your shoulders slump and he presses his lips against yours so quickly you wonder if you imagined it and you sigh.  “No, I’m not. Just would rather people not know I’m paying some dude I used to go to high school with to fuck me.” 

There’s too much truth to your words for him to argue so he simply leans in against, pressing his lips against yours for a moment longer than he previously did. You feel the corner of his lip rise, a little smirk, and you wonder what’s on his mind.

“Don’t seem so ashamed when you’re screamin’ about how you can feel me in your….” he feigns thought for a moment and you feel your face heat, knowing what he’s about to say next. “What is it you always say? Ah, yeah…tummy.” His lips press against yours again and you kiss him back this time, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and wrapping his dark hair around your fingers. The two of you separate before the dry humping starts, catching your breath as you wipe remnants of chapstick and saliva from your lips.

“Get your ass in the car before I change my mind, Fushiguro.” 

He smiles at the sound of his name on your pretty lips. There’s no going back now and he knows it as he squeezes your ass once before rounding your car to enter the passenger side. A glance up at the night sky allows you a moment to clear your mind before you enter the vehicle yourself, shutting the door behind you as you fire up the engine. 

Something new begins again, the night revealing thing you know to be true.

You love him too much for this to be the last time.

#toji fushiguro x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #kendall writes

[huntinglove]

How to get away from antiship spaces (mostly)

Warnings: Long post, antis mention, mentions of pedophilia, rape, self harm and gore (none show, not descriptive)

Have you recently learned that you align yourself with the proship label? Would you like to get away from antis as safely as you can? Here's what I've learned, as an ex anti:

1. It may be hard, but try to get rid of/abandon your accounts where you used to interact with antis.

This is one of the hardest steps because having a lot of followers can be discouraging, but it's the safest approach in this situation, because if antis see you following or interacting with proshippers they WILL question you about it and depending on how you tackle their asks they'll throw you to the wolves and publicly "warn" people about you so people can mass report your account/harass you

This applies to anything; Tumblr blogs, Twitter profiles, Discord servers, if you've interacted with antis block them and delete your account if you decide to adopt the proship label

Antis constantly claim that they don't harass people but as soon as someone drops the anti label they dogpile them and call them "traitors" as well as their usual buzzwords to catch people's attention, it's better to pull the plug directly than just rebrand your account

1.5. If you REALLY want to keep your account because you've used it for a long time or because it works as a portfolio, please create a different account to post about proship content

If you make a new account remember to block your anti mutuals/followers from your main account before you start posting, art styles can be very unique and easy to spot similarities in, as well as typing patterns and reoccurring emojis/symbols

If there's the option to, keep your profile private until you've built a steady environment for yourself, if you prefer to keep your profile private permanently that's also a good option!

Remember, your safety matters more than numbers on a screen!

2. This one should go without saying but, please don't share much of your trauma/mental health issues/triggers with people online in general, but especially not with antis

I used to talk about my struggles and vent publicly a lot, antis would stalk my accounts and send me all types of fucked up content.

I've had people send me rape videos and threats, people telling me I deserved the abuse I went through, people would send me gore and self harm images, as well as suicide tutorials.

They can and will use all of it to their advantage, they're restless and will dig up even decade old posts if they feel it'll be useful for them. It can and will take a toll on your mental health, so please save yourself the trouble and only open up with people you genuinely trust and feel safe talking to!

You're not alone, but please don't let dangerous people take advantage of you when you're at a bad spot

3. Keep an eye on your followers, especially if your profiles are public. There are always some things to look out for to make sure your followers aren't antis pretending to be proshippers

According to my personal experience, here's some red flags to look out for:

A.Antis think that the word proship means problematic ship, so they'll refer to pairings as "a proship"

Most proshippers dislike this terminology because it comes from an incorrect definition and usually avoid it

B. TikTok antis specifically come up and use a lot of emoji combos, creating meanings for them and usually adding one or two combos that are actually known to proshippers, along with some never seen before

A lot of the time they use it to identify themselves, a sign that means "I'm not actually a proshipper, just baiting"

I've also seen antis use the clover emoji in combos, inspired by the "clovergender/cloversexual" scam that 4channers came up with, to make it seem like the LGBTQ+ community was welcoming to offending pedophiles. Antis do this because they assimilate the proship label with problematic ships, mostly age gaps/underage content

C. Their account is brand new but they already follow a lot of proshippers. This is usually because they'll follow proshippers who've been posted on a blocklist, usually in the exact order that they've been listed too

If they're on Tumblr, they'll usually keep the people they follow public, so that other antis can find and harass those proshippers

D. Keep an eye on their follow list. Like stated above, they'll usually keep it public and 9 times out of 10 there will be an out of place antiship account, it's most likely their main profile/account/blog

E. They'll use their usual buzzwords on their own posts

For example, if they're trying to mimic a proselfship account they'll post pictures of underage characters and caption it things like "omg i'm such a pedo" and tag their post with proship related tags

Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, so it's always important to take context into consideration, as well as how many of these red flags may apply.

And lastly, please remember that the block button is your friend.

If someone's interacting with you and something about them seems/feels off, block and move on

#✯ let's get serious #pro fiction #pro ship #proselfship #profic #proship #pro ship safe #pro shipping #profiction #proship positivity #proship safe #proship selfship #proshipper #proshipping #selfship proship #profandom #comship #comshipper #comship safe #comship positivity

[pretty-weird-ideas]

Harassment Against Black Blogs Over My Post

After I made my post about racist blogs in the IWTV fandom, unrelated blogs have been intentionally harassed in my stead to continue a harassment campaign against THEM and also keep away from having to do work to harass and discredit me.

As I have said before, come on, hit me. Don't act silly. Hit me. I said nalyra-dreaming is a racist for the fact that she liked and defended a racist post regarding affirmative action and reverse racism. ME. I posted that of my own volition in the comfort of my own home. Deflecting with "Random black blogs that AREN'T this person said this" wake up, I said it.

"Well, the racism allegations are a deflection because this OTHER black blog is conspiring to-"

You're a goofy motherfucker and it doesn't suit you. Take the clown costume off, you've worn it for so long that it's gotten musty.

If you want to hit someone, hit me. It's very obvious that these bloggers are deciding between:

Start digging on a blog that has nothing to dig for

Continue a harassment campaign that's already happened against black blogs with minimal effort or explanation as to why they are getting hit still

You are forgetting that I made these statements, that I have posted about fandom racism, and that I have not gotten involved in any of this. And that was intentional, racists like we are seeing today (white, nonblack, and sufferers of internalized hatred) are now pointing to "ship wars" to deflect from real-life racist political beliefs that have NOTHING to do with fiction. I stay FAR away from that shit on purpose, with the intent that people would have nothing to deflect to when the going gets rough. I follow black fans who are antiracist regardless of their shipping opinions, and regardless of what they think in regards to fandom.

Like I said in the original post, I would never let someone do to them, as they have done to me and other black fans. I would not sit up there and let fans start a real racist political grift so that I can get one-up on black fans I do not like or disagree with. I cut that shit down fast.

So instead of digging on me, to deflect, they would rather find other users and drag them and hope it kicks up enough of a stink that users forget the posts that started it all this week.

160 notes on my post about this subject, 300+ on others, and suspiciously someone comes out with a hitlist of mostly black fans that they already dislike to deflect. It was because it's advantageous to attack blogs that they already didn't like and had beef with.

Did hundreds of people suddenly become unable to research or read things for themselves when they liked and reblogged?

Or are we fully investing in the grift that black anti-racists just puppet around white people using "White guilt" along with the reverse racism song and dance?

#fandom racism #iwtv #interview with the vampire #vampire chronicles #black fandom

[mezmer]

Here I will explain why my blog banner describes me as an anti sugar activist. I try to be as "scientific" as my brain and heart allow, but I value my experience over scientific studies even if they support my view, huge ridiculous autist sugar post incoming

Sugar is highly addictive for most people. The problem is way more dire than we act like it is. Added to foods you wouldn't even think to include sugar. The link between sugar and obesity, endocrine disruption, general inflammation and malaise, disease, diabetes, your teeth rotting out, and even cancer, is undeniable no matter what articles or studies you try to dig up. not many people want to admit how bad it is. People who enjoy sugar, who might say "you only live once! It's not like I'm shooting heroin" suffer weird problems and assume it's something else. Children set up for a lifetime of failure because their parents don't pay attention to their sugar intake at all. I have a very drastic example of this I won't go into much detail about, but a set of parents close to me are feeding their daughter extreme amounts of sugar. She has a learning disability and is a very intense child. I've hinted at the sugar link and everyone is in denial.

I have baby sat this child and gotten her to eat organic wheat bread PB and J with a no sugar added, all fruit jam.. happily told her parents who did not care at all. It was such a feat to me. Everyone knows a picky child. It's worse than you think. This is a gateway drug and I'm totally serious. I said I would not go into great detail... I too was raised on welch's fruit snacks, "pancake syrup", sprite, Kool aid, and worst of all I was allowed to put as much sugar that I wanted into my tea. My parents were wonderful, they just didn't think or know how bad it was to do this

I've struggled with a sugar addiction before and since getting clean from drugs and seen the effects of it firsthand. The most obvious to be seen from the outside that I can make people believe is my struggle with acne. We know bacteria feeds off of sugar. This is why people who drink sugary drinks are at risk for UTIs. If bacteria enters their bladder, sugar makes it grow. Well no amount of washing my face, bentonite clay masks, washing my pillow cases, wearing a bonnet, would make the acne go away. Recently I tried to only eat a certain pint of ice cream thinking less sugar would help. It didn't and I'm over two weeks off of all sugar that isn't naturally occuring in honey and fruit. Crazy how natural sugar does not feed the bacteria and hormonal disruption. I've been in this cycle more than once. Not only does the acne go away, my face appears radiant every time. Breakouts as soon as I relapse. Maybe you are thinking, this is a bunch of hogwash and I eat little cakes often without a problem. That's fine. I know addicts who have used meth for 30 years and you wouldnt wonder much about them. Smokers who lived to 80. Sugar doesn't do me any good at all.

Neither my mom, who was just put on a medication with awful side effects because she is developing diabetes. Her doctor (doctor she's had for decades who is a total piece of garbage and prescribes dangerous cocktails of conflicting medications !! That's a whole other post!!!! Put my grandma on pills which nearly killed her! Plus other people HAHAHA) saw her coming up with high blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol without thinking to suggest a diet change first. My mom is overweight and likes to eat sweets. My mom told me, I can still eat sweets, I just have to eat less. I did tell her that didn't work for me. I quit because I don't want to end up sick this way. Diabetes runs in our family. The prescription is making my mom nauseous and dizzy. Insane to me right?

Why aren't the dangers of sugar recognized? Why am I the only advocate I know? I would shut the fuck up if the dangers were believed by more people. Is it Because Sugar Taste good? Not seen as a vice. We accept that corn syrup is not so good. Canola oil pretty bad. Dyes in food causing children to develop ADHD and autism, or whatever. Is there no risk in consuming sugar? Many health professionals don't want to admit it? I feel strongly. I feel sick when I eat sugar but I can't find myself able to stop unless I truly try. We are all convinced that it's just a danger to your teeth if you don't brush enough. MIL is a sugar addict who buys birthday cakes on clearance and clears the whole cake in a few days, a twice daily flosser and brusher, who has lost over half of her teeth to extractions, sees the link, and has no intention to quit.

Finally, I bake yummy dessert recipes excluding half the sugar while using honey, maple syrup, brown sugar for what is left (which is slightly better than white sugar from my understanding) and I have never made a baked good that is ruined by doing this. You can't even tell that I've excluded sugar and the foods have more flavor because sugar doesn't overpower the dish. They don't make your teeth hurt. You can eat more cookies because there is less sugar and they taste better. The texture is the same. Bakers will tell you this isn't true and you need to use the whole amount of sugar so the cookies and cakes arent ruined. Yes, you need torched sugar on creme brulee. Fine.

Do you ever find yourself scraping icing off of a cake? I have baked more than one birthday cake for loved ones excluding sugar and adding natural alternatives (NOT stevia or monkfruit which taste like shit and suck) and ive gotten nothing but compliments. My brown sugar maple cake with cream cheese icing using very little sugar was a hit for my partners birthday that everyone probably ate too much of. This isn't a brag, it's an idea for anyone who bakes to try and change your recipes. It hasn't failed for me. Ok SOrry

#edit check notes

[babybluebex]

I would love to hear some more of your Eddie headcanons!!

but of course, my dear

this is kinda all over the place sorry 😭 warnings: fem!reader, drug use, smut, everyone in this is 18+ and if you aren't you shouldn't be on my blog!

i def hc that he likes holding you at night

like it seems obvious but he definitely loves having his arm drape your waist as you cuddle up close to him

your body is so warm, and he'll drag you close to him and nose at your hair and hold you

he likes watching you sleep

not in a creepy way, but he loves seeing your face relax and hearing your little noises as you sleep

he's a fitful sleeper, it's just in his nature, he's up and down all night, and he can't ever get comfortable

that's why he loves when you sleep over, because you give him something to do during restless nights

he can get lost admiring your sleeping face or playing with your hair or simply just holding you and thinking

he's always awake before you are, watching the news or rereading the notes of an old dnd campaign

when you wake up and trudge out of the bedroom, he'll always circle his arms around your waist and pull you into him and kiss you gently

if he's sitting at the table watching tv, he'll drag you to sit in his lap and he'll litter kisses all over your face and neck

"good morning beautiful" because he always thinks you look gorgeous

i think eddie is selective about the names he calls you

they're all specially picked out just for you, all timely and it seems almost planned

he'll call you princess when you come with him to dnd (the whole fantasy thing), he'll call you honey when he's eating you out (tasting your sweet honey, as cliche as that is), you're beautiful or gorgeous or pretty every second of the day

like imagine eddie sees you in the halls and presses a quick kiss to your lips "hi there, pretty girl"

UGH drives me wild

he's into pda but not anything like violating, he likes to put his arm around you or kiss you on the cheek or tiny little pecks on your lips

but he's already treated like shit at school and he doesn't want you catching any of that flack so he typically keeps things pretty lowkey

not to say that he isn't insanely in love with you and wants to show you off everywhere

going to one of his band's shows, and he's looking at you the whole time and performing to you and not the room, and afterwards he's gonna be putting his arm around you and squeezing your ass and kissing you long and deep

oh also he keeps polaroids of you in his wallet

they're ones he took of you in various states of dress or situations

he keeps the more scandalous ones to himself, but he'll keep one in his wallet and slip one in the visor of his van

people get into his van and see the picture of the girl in her panties slipped into the band of the visor and are like "??" and eddie goes "oh, that's my girl :)"

sometimes he could just sit and look at his pictures of you, just admiring the way you look and thinking back to the moment where the camera had gone off

some of his favorite memories of you are during when he takes pictures of you on his polaroid camera and he'll keep every single picture, even the blurry ones where it's hard to tell what's going on

he likes to smoke with you too

even if you're not smoking, he likes having you there

sitting in his lap and listening to him talk as he gets high, playing with your hair or hands

he gets majorly horny when he's had some really good weed, his hands going everywhere as the joint sits in the corner of his mouth

pushing up under your shirt to cup your tits or trying to dig down under your jeans and panties

you always giggle and roll your eyes "alright alright, give me a second" and take off your shirt for him

hc'ing that eddie is a tits man

even if you're in your bra, he's attached to your tits, pressing his hand over one absently as he has his arm around your shoulders

he likes to kiss them and could spend all night just kissing and sucking and nipping at your tits

he likes when you ride him, just so he can be inside you and get a face full of your tits at the same time

he is totally into cockwarming too

he likes when you're all full of him and warm and sleepy after you fuck, it relaxes him

watching tv and you're in his lap, resting your head against his shoulder with his arms around you, keeping him warm

he melts and kisses you all over

he's also very vocal about how much he loves you

whispers it all the time and is always finding ways to show you his affection

you're cold? he takes off his jacket and gives it to you. had a long day and need a hug? he's opening his arms for you.

he'll press a kiss to your cheek or head any ole time, he doesn't need an occasion for it

basically he's like a 10/10 boyfriend hehe

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #bex answers #curbitkirby #bex's drabbles

[catboybiologist]

I think people that post photos of themselves on tumblr like you are very brave. Aren't you scared of irl people finding your blog?

Brave or just extremely stupid tbh.

This has already happened multiple times. Most of the time, it's been friends that already knew I had a place to post these kinds of pictures online, so did a little digging. And I didn't care, I would've told them my username if they asked, and they knew that. Some of them follow me here. I've also openly told other friends.

And there's probably more, including cishet friends, that may have stumbled across me somewhere, and just haven't mentioned it irl. I'm technically closeted, but my transition is an open secret at this point considering how many people explicitly know in my life. I suspect that some people are just waiting for me to say something before they mention anything trans related.

It was nerve-wracking at first, but I stopped caring too much largely because I reached a kind of extreme point related to this. This is gonna be a bit vagueposty, but the first time someone found this account, it ultimately ended very, VERY poorly. But I pushed through, along with several other bad things going on in my life, so now I kind of have a "fuckit" mentality about it.

But yeah.... Mostly it's just stupidity and a lack of caring. I want this in my life and I don't have the energy to care what other people think about it. That'll probably bite me in the ass, like it already has once, but we'll deal with that when it happens. Worst case I can always just quote everything and work on a remote bioinformatics job from wherever the fuck or something.

I do have small limits though. For example, I don't want to like... Overtly associate my research topic with this online presence, and so I'm a little evasive talking about what I actually research. I also won't outright state what my uni is even if it can be figured out. And don't try to guess either of those publicly bc I'll just ignore it.

[hologramcowboy]

Debunking fandom rumors: Erin and Jensen

It has come to my attention that someone is creating multiple accounts and posing as ITK while claiming that Erin and Jensen have hooked up or have a love story. It seems some bloggers and users actually adopted this person's narrative without digging deeper and asking for evidence. My reason for this post is I have received asks and dms from people actually falling for these rumors and the stories behind them make absolutely no sense and there is zero evidence. I have also received warnings from the people who have, thankfully, not fallen for them and had things to share about the person responsible. There is a huge difference between speculating about your fav celeb and full on gaslighting people with made-up stories.

The story seems to vary a bit from person to person as it gets passed down by the people who have been misinformed. The web is so spun some have adopted these claims as truth. Let's debunk a few of those versions. Please note that I don't know them by heart and so they aren't super precise but the claim behind them is the same:

You may have heard that Erin posted about Austin and then deleted the post. - An actress going to Austin could be about an infinite number of events, from art to auditions to modeling etc. There is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary there because Austin is bustling with entertainment industry opportunities. Jensen was in the process of moving to Connecticut, moving involves preparing everything not just the actual move. If someone keeps insisting Erin was there for Jensen then please ask them for clear evidence and you will soon find there is none.

You may have been told that some woman who worked on set for the Boys caught Erin and Jensen in the act. - First off, Erin and Jensen barely intersected each other on set. Secondly, on-set crew signs NDAs. Thirdly, no professional actor would risk getting fired over flirting or anything related, that's a super fast way to get fired. A set is a professional environment. Most of all, people who are a part of the crew don't have so much access to the stars. They may get to interact and be around them when doing make-up, costume and other set-related situations but actors have their own designated areas and security is tight. Aside from this, rumors on a set travel at lightning speed and yet no such rumors about the cast ever surfaced. I can also add the fact that actors are trained to create chemistry and so they use various exercises to achieve this. Often, people end up believing they are in love precisely due to the powerful chemistry those exercises generate. Don't believe me? Cool, have a look here.

Some friend of a friend saw Erin in Jensen's lap in some social media post. All that was visible was the beard. 🤣🤦🏼‍♀- The beard belonged to Jai Courtney. No Jensen was involved.

Erin and Jensen got matching tattoos - In reality, Jai tattooed Erin's ankle, which had zero to do with Jensen. Here's a pic:

These are just a few examples, in some cases, the person sharing these rumors claims to be Jensen's hookup and that Jensen confided to her that he is involved with Erin. The person responsible for sharing these stories has multiple sock accounts and is posing as multiple people. The person has even resorted to stealing someone's online pictures to pose as that friend so as to differentiate one of her sock accounts from her original one.

Aside from this, this person has also taken to SM to harass the actors in their comment sections, in an attempt to make it seem as if the rumors have taken off. They have not.

Neither Jensen nor Danneel nor Erin deserved to be harassed over made-up stories. To avoid doxxing anyone involved, I have made this a general post to bring you awareness and give the person responsible a chance to reassess their actions and do the right thing. As mentioned in my disclaimer, I want to strongly remind everyone that anything you read online or on my blog or any other blog should be taken with a huge grain of salt. Just as when people contact you claiming they are Misha, Jensen etc. ask them for evidence and once they fail to provide it report and block. If someone contacts you to share gossip, stay grounded, ask questions, ask for supporting evidence and details, and make your own decision rather than adopting someone's idea of the truth. It's one thing to entertain a rumor and quite another to harass real-life people over adopting these rumors as truth. Gossip can be fun and entertaining but it should never, ever cross the line into slander, impersonation and other violations. Let's keep in mind that there are teenagers with naive perspectives, fans who suffer from erotomania or other mental disorders or people who simply lack information who might all fall victim to these machinations and suffer consequences. We all play a part in keeping fandom safe so let's exercise caution. Please stay safe online and help others do the same. I am feeling kinda tired so I apologize for not being able to compose this post as clearly as I wanted, feel free to DM me if anything is unclear.

#anti jensen hate #anti erin hate #anti fanaticism

[stevebabey]

RUBY congrats on your milestone!!! I'm extremely happy for you, you deserve it, you always post amazing fics and your blog is SO COOL AND FRESH, ugh I love it!! Sending a lot of kisses and hugs your way ♡

So I'm here to request, I hope it's okay!!

❤️‍🔥 5 and 6 from the first prompt list with steve, I just know you are going to do something sooo fluffy and cute that will mark me forever!!!

HI HI !! thank you so much ur so sweet i am SWOONING over here <3 COOL AND FRESH!!!?? ULTRA TOP TIER COMPLIMENTS MY DUDE!! ahh many kisses and hugs right back at ya ! and omg da first of the blurbs.... it is fluffy as hell im feeling clingy tonite and i hope u luv <3 (ur lucky to get in early they probably won't all be this long hehe)

You're surprised you even managed to convince Steve to come to this party. They're not exactly his scene anymore, especially considering his history with them, but it was a bit more of a familiar friendly crowd — Eddie's band, some of Robin's own friends from band, plus the merry bunch of you that were practically fused together since '83.

Besides, you're sure the fair amount of eyelashes fluttering helped too, lips pouting and eyes sweet.

Steve had even narrowed his eyes, jabbed a finger at you like he was about to say 'that's not fair!' like he had a thousand times before. Some whine about how he was powerless when you gave him those eyes.

Tonight, he had just sighed and folded, any annoyance melting away at your glee.

Parties were better with Steve. If you both had a ride home, he'd get himself into the G&T's until he was loopy and draping himself all over you. Absolute mumbler he was while drunk. It was all you're so pretty and how'd i get so lucky? between wet kisses anywhere he could land them. You not-so-secretly loved it.

Tonight, however, you're the lovesick one.

Like it's your fault; he's wearing one of his button downs that's tight on the arms and a few buttons too low. A hint of chest hair peeks out, flush against tan skin that's riddled with moles you've kissed a dozen times over each. Even without the extra beers tonight you think you'd be in a mood.

The extra alcohol just gives you confidence.

Steve's talking when you approach, his back to you, and you take no mind to distract him from his conversation. Silently, well as much you can while tipsy, you sneak your arms around his middle and slump.

You hear a rumble of surprise through where your head presses into his back, a pause in the conversation, then he places his warm hands over both of yours. You delight with a grin. Then, keeping his hands in place to keep you where you are, he's twisting to look over his shoulder. You dig your chin in to meet his eyes with a doozy smile.

"Hello trouble," He says, all too fond. God, he looks so sweet, amber eyes all sweet and smile all too mischievous. Thank God he's yours.

"Hi." You say back, a grin curling at your lips. You think about tucking your hands under his shirt, just to hold him closer. You're sure he'll get the mental messages you're sending him much better if there's skin-to-skin contact —though, you needn't worry, Steve can tell you love him just from the look on your face.

"All good back there?" He asks, mainly as a joke but you nod very seriously and then tilt your head towards his conversation partner. Some dude who had graduated the year after him, friends with Robin he thinks. It's small talk.

"Yup." You smile wide, a bit dopey, and press a kiss into his back. "Y'keep talking Stevie."

He can tell you mean it so he does, turning back around and adjusting his grip over both of your hands to hold them both tighter. You hum happily. The conversation resumes. It takes all but a minute for your attention to crawl away.

You shift your hands slightly, wriggling out of Steve's grip and you miss how he frowns down bemusedly at your wandering hands. He silently hopes you aren't heading for his pants, mainly because there's a spectator to your strange but endearing behaviour. You don't, instead just tucking them under his button up and pressing your icy fingers against his tummy.

Steve snorts a quiet laugh and tries not to shiver, but apparently, that's too much movement for you.

"Tch, stop moving!" Your voice draws out, dipped in annoyance. You thump your head against his back and Steve laughs again, a bit pink in the face when the dude moves away with an awkward goodbye. Steve doesn't blame him, with your roaming hands, though he's fairly sure you're actually just looking for a cuddle.

Steve stills himself. "Why—"

"You feel amazing in my arms," you say, muffled by your face in his shirt. You squeeze him a bit tighter, a hug that actually squeezes his heart too because fuck, if he doesn't feel adored right now.

"Baby," He starts, prying your arms off just enough to turn and face you. You whine a bit but it dies down at being able to lean your head against his chest, chin planting between his pecs. You gaze up at him and blow a half-hearted raspberry. Steve thinks about dipping you sweet and kissing you there, just to see if you'll get warm enough in the face that he'll feel it too.

"D'you wanna go home?" He asks.

You shake your head but tighten your hold. Steve sweeps a hand across your forehead, pushing back stray hairs with a loving hum. "If we go home, we can cuddle, yeah?"

You seem to only just realise this as he says it and it sways your decision in an instant. "Okay, yeah, yes please," you murmur as you bury your face back into his chest. Your please sounds like peas and Steve thinks his heart might ache a little softer because of it.

If you had told sophomore Steve that in the future, he'd be ditching a party early, just for some cuddles, he's sure he would've scoffed at himself. Steve thanks the heavens above for change and let you drag him out the door, footsteps giddy and kisses abundant.

join the celebration!

#literally i need him #rn #steve get over here i need to be ur clingy gf at a party #also omg slay kept it gn! #follower celebration 2023 #ruby's very own tour of hawkins #steve x reader #ruby writes steve #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington blurb #stevie blurb! #BLAIRSGOOOOOOOOOO #FIRST ONE #STRONG START

[renaiswriting]

Shadows of Desire (part 13)

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan/Reader

Summary:

You always thought the only romance you would experiment with in your life was the one between pages under the flames at midnight. That was until you found him, because the feel of his fangs digging into your neck was more than addictive.

Word count: (+) 1.7k words

Warnings: Kind of a claustrophobic moment, but I think that's it.

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If you wanna be tagged, please fill out the tag list form.

Taglist: @phoebe0 @sahhmochi @darkdayelixer @hipsdofangirl @ryusha-rose @arcofagamotto @lexix001 @mhlsymlysn @porridgesblog @asyre @flwrrchild @lustfulpjm @leicy0756 @zaggprincess2 @vannabanana1995

Author's note: hello! While I'm slowly coming back from my hiatus please help me by filling out this feedback form so I can see what you guys think/want to see in my blog/stories. Thank you!!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Your head was pounding so badly that you thought a hammer was hitting you from the inside.

 

A painful cry erupted from your soul, and, from the darkness of wherever you were at the moment, a fake cooed could be heard.

 

You open your eyes wide open, getting even more dizziness from it. You quickly regretted the sudden movement of your neck as a sharp, burning sensation invaded you.

 

Your hand instinctively rose to touch the place that hurt so badly, but a hand that was not yours held it before you got the chance. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

 

You were in a room that was almost completely peach-black if it weren't for the vague flame next to you. The flame moved so slowly that it made scary figures in the room.

 

You were in bed, and your head was resting on a thin pillow, which did nothing to help the soreness on your neck.

 

A soft laugh echoed in the darkness: "You are truly the sleepy beauty; have anyone told you that before?"

 

"How long have I been sleeping?" You cleaned your throat. Mark chuckled again, walking closer to the bed with a glass full of water just for you.

 

"You slept for two days; if I'm honest, I'm surprised your stomach is not complaining for food by now."

 

"Two days?" You asked shocked, attempting to sit but failing miserably as the dizziness from your head did not seem to dissipate. "Jeonghan—"

 

"Who?" Mark asked when you stopped yourself. His hand touched your sweaty forehead, clicking his tongue. "You had an awful fever."

 

"Your hand is freezing." You complained, pushing it away from your skin.

 

"No, you're just burning hot."

 

"Where's Luke?" You asked, not putting any resistance when Mark's hands pushed your shoulders back into the bed.

 

"He's resting. He had been watching you almost all day; he was on the verge of passing out because of exhaustion. One of my friends is taking care of him; don't worry about it, darling."

 

You hummed. Your head was feeling way too dizzy for you to nod. "I still think I should go; at least I need to make sure my friends know I am fine. They're probably too worried about me."

 

"What friends are you talking about?" Mark asked, confused. The sides of his legs were slightly touching yours, and now that he was sitting on the bed, the coldness you felt from his hand was now embracing you from his whole body.

 

"I was with my friend."

 

"(Y/n), you were alone in the forest. near the lake. I don't know what got into you, but you almost threw yourself there. Thank God I was walking in the right place at the right time. I don't want to know what could have possibly happened to you if I hadn't."

 

You looked at him, confused. "No, no. I was—I remember I was feeding some cows and—"

 

"Cows?" Mark started laughing, taking some pieces of your hair that were starting to pickle your check and twisting them around his finger. He touched your nose with his index finger. "Aren't you the cutest when you're all confused?"

You stared at him in a mix of confusion and embarrassment.

 

Have you truly imagined all that?

 

"I'm sorry, I think I need some time alone."

 

"Of course." Mark smiled at you, slowly standing up from the bed and letting go of your hair.

 

"Where am I?" You asked before you missed the chance. No matter how much you looked around, you couldn't find any comfort in recognizing something.

 

"My house—my parents house. It's closer to the lake, so I thought it would be safer to take you here."

 

"I'll let you rest for now; I'll bring you some food." He continued after your silence, and before he could get out of the room, he turned to you, making more eye contact. "And stop overworking that mind of yours. I mean it."

You let out a not-so-quiet sigh, your fingers gently massaging the sting of your eyelids.

 

Your head ached every time you moved it, but you felt your body needed to stretch.

 

You slowly moved your legs out of the bed, stretching your back. A groan emerged from the back of your throat; you felt like absolutely shit.

 

Your hand held tight to the wall once you took two steps forward, feeling a dizziness wave increasing abruptly.

 

If you sharpened your hearing, you could hear a faint murmur beneath the floor.

 

There was no space to see out into the room you were in, but apparently you were on at least a second floor.

 

Curiousity won over you, and, losing no time, you carefully brought the candle closer to the walls, inspecting everything that caught your attention.

You spent a good five minutes trying to reach a box in a closet that was way out of your reach before your head started aching powerfully again.

 

Your eyes fell on your barefoot feet; you hadn't noticed until that exact moment that your shoes were nowhere to be found. It wasn't that surprising, considering that Mark had informed you that you'd been sleeping for two days, but...

 

You got sick of waiting for Mark, and the need to go to the toilet was growing bigger and bigger. You attempted to open the door.

 

but it was locked.

Stupid Mark had probably locked it by accident when he closed it. Your ears had been ringing when Mark slammed the door a little harder than it had taken to get it to close.

You leaned your ear against the door; you couldn't hear footsteps rumbling down the stairs or any mumbling from Mark that would indicate he was returning.

So you saw yourself with no choice but to start banging on the door, lazily.

"Alright, let me out." You mockingly chanted, "Ya, let me the hell out."

Nothing.

Mark was known to have a good ear. When you sneak out of the house to hang out and play as kids behind your parents' backs, Mark could always catch his mother's footsteps minutes before the woman showed up to scold him for disobeying her.

So you didn't understand what could be going on down there for Mark not to be listening.

"Mark!" you shouted, rapping harder on the door with your knuckles. The wooden door was shaking with the force you were using. You could feel your skin starting to redden, hurting you. "It's not funny!"

"Shit." You muttered, giving the door one last angry knock and bringing the candle flame to your battered knuckles, where one of them was starting to bleed.

Your heart was beginning to pound hard against your chest.

And no matter how much you were breathing, the air didn't seem to be enough to fill your oxygen-starved lungs.

Your legs began to shake, and falling to the floor, you crawled against the wall, letting it crash against your back.

Calm down.

You ordered yourself.

Calm down.

Breathe.

Control yourself.

But the words echoed in your mind; you were too panicked to comprehend them.

The door handle began to shake, making your eyes travel from the floor to the door. This one was shaking hard.

 

"What are you doing here?" You heard an annoyed voice say, "You're not allowed to be here now. Go away."

 

The door was still shaking, but underneath, you could see two shadows moving.

 

"What? Aren't you listening to me? I'm telling you you're not allowed to be here." The annoyed voice repeated itself.

 

"Are you going to stop me from eating? You're starving me."

 

"It's just for some time."

 

"You can't do this forever. You know it." The voice growled, annoyed. "My food is just behind this door, so close. It can stop the aching in the back of my throat; why are you stopping me from it?" The voice spoke, even though it sounded breathless.

You have heard the owner of that voice stamp on the wall next to the door.

When the door finally opened, the fight that had begun to occur outside the room you were locked in had long since ended.

 

As much as you had been needing to call out to them for help, you were afraid of those angry voices.

 

Mark entered the room with his hair slightly tousled and his eyes slightly darker. "Why is everything lying all over the floor?"

 

Mark wasn't looking at you; his eyes were closed tightly as his fingers worked rapidly at his temple, trying to calm some discomfort.

 

You looked around; your throat was dry again, and it hurt to breathe.

 

"Why was the door locked?" you asked, trying to gather saliva inside your mouth to soothe the discomfort in your throat.

 

"What are you talking about?" Mark replied with a sigh. "The door was unlocked."

 

"No." You shook your head. "It was locked. I tried to open it and couldn't."

 

"(Y/n)," Mark raised his head, the expression on his face making it more than clear that he was somewhat tired and annoyed at your insistence. "I just opened the door myself; I'm telling you it was unlocked."

 

"Why didn't you hear me? I called out to you." You lifted the bowl of soup Mark had prepared for you to your mouth. The hot broth only intensified the burning in your throat a little, but your stomach had begun to demand food, and the broth had been more than welcome.

 

"I had to go outside to bring some carrots for your soup." He replied, sighing. "Drink it all."

You finished drinking the soup in seconds, setting the bowl down.

Your eyes felt heavy, and your breathing was starting to calm down, becoming so calm that it was hard to hear it.

 

"I'm feeling a little sleepy." You mumbled because your voice couldn't find the strength to speak louder than a whisper.

 

"I know." Mark commented, standing up. "Sleep. It's easier to put you to sleep than to try to fight it."

 

You tried to answer him, but Mark's silhouette blurred, darkening until your vision was pitch black.

"(Y/N)," you heard a voice echoing in your mind." (Y/N) I need you to be aware of what is going to happen. You need to be aware of what the shadows can hide."

You looked around, trying to find where that voice was coming from, but everything was black.

"I'll come back to you." You heard. "I promise I will come back to get you out of there, but in the meantime, please be safe."

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fanfics #seventeen fic #svt au #seventeen au #seventeen imagines #svt fanfic #svt reacts #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x oc #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #svt x oc #svt x y/n #svt x you #svt x reader #jeonghan fic #jeonghan fanfiction #jeonghan fluff #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan x you #jeonghan x oc #jeonghan x reader #seventeen vampire #vampire jeonghan #jeonghan angst #jeonghan au #jeonghan series

[many-sparrows]

Unsure if you're the right person to ask this to, but I trust your blog and it has brought me comfort many times before.

I'm converting to christianity have no desire to go to church, at least, not traditional ones, but I feel like not going to church and not making myself "officially" Christian seems... wrong. At the same time, I have so many beliefs, spiritual and otherwise, that don't align with the church, and in general it's just not a place I'm happy in.

Is it okay to be Christian and not go to church? To not be tied to one?

God bless you and thank you in advance

Ok, been thinking about this ask since I got it. I wanted to take the time to answer it sensitively and thoroughly, but there have been some intense distractions to my ability to think sensitively at the moment (*gestures at the world*)

First of all, I am touched that my blog is a place you find comfort. That surprises me a little bit, because I am simply hanging out. As for whether or not I am the right person to ask, I like to ask all sorts of people these questions; who knows what insights they might give. Then you can sort through what is and isn't of value.

This topic is difficult. It's one that a lot of "non-traditional" Christians deal with. Let's dig in.

You know, I think it is possible to be a Christian and not be tied to a church. Churches can be very difficult places, especially traditional ones. You bring up a very good point about the power dynamics- churches, despite all of the important things in the gospel and the things God has called us to, have been a part of systems that have caused a lot of harm and destruction, and you can't ignore that when making a choice like this. I firmly believe that Christ doesn't want us to do things that endanger our walk with God, and I really do believe that includes avoiding churches that are harmful and hateful and so on. I think God calls us all to our own paths, and our own relationships with Them, and you can never be separated from Him, even if you aren't in a church on Sunday. I spent years of my life not going to church, and had some of the most clarifying, important religious experiences during that time.

However, let me say a word in favor of churches. The whole point of churches, of gathering, of the Sabbath are that we are called together into community. We are called to do this thing together. I really do think that the lack of strong community networks is part of what our society is really struggling with right now. Of course, there are other types of community- friends and school, work, neighborhood groups, mutual aide organizations- and those things are absolutely somewhere you find God. This might be a hot take, but I don't think you should only surround yourself with people of your own religion or that you should only get community from there; Christ didn't do that, for starters, and in this day and age, when churches have become so inaccessible to non Christians, and White Christianity has become so warped and strange, that it's important to not lock yourself inside the church walls. However, it can be very lonely, even when you're a part of groups that share your values, to be the only one coming at it from your faith. We arent just meant to live in community, we are meant to practice our faith in community.

Every one of us struggles sometimes, with doubts and callings and questions, and having people with you makes that doable. I also know that the holy Spirit comes to us in community. When you're with people who share your faith, you know that you are with people that share this walk with you. At the very least you know that they are committed to something bigger than themselves. That is such a very, very precious and grounding thing to hold on to.

Also, none of us is ever going to be 100% correct in the ways that we interpret Scripture on our own. Good clergy have been trained in how to understand and approach scripture and how to meet people where they are, and having access to them is incredibly helpful. Having people to talk about these things with opens your eyes and can help you understand God's instructions better.

This is going to sound cheesy, but what really makes or breaks a church are the people. If you can find a group of people that works for you, everything else is workable.

As for beliefs that don't necessarily align, you'd be surprised how open some churches are. Quakers, for example, aren't even Christian, though plenty of Quakers are themselves Christian. I know many Christians who believe in universal salvation. I know Lutherans and Episcopalians to toe the line with Catholic practices. I know gay Catholics, Catholics that are pro-choice and don't believe in Hell. All this is to say, in some churches, you can make a broader set of beliefs and practices work. In many places, they are welcomed.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the United Church of Christ, and the Episcopalians are groups that have been actively working to untangle a lot of the problems in traditional church culture-- especially when it comes to racial and queer issues. If you ever feel like you want to access the benefits of churches, these are groups that might be a good place to start exploring, instead of just trying churches until you stumble on one. You also totally can attend churches loosely, when you need or want to, without becoming a member of entrenching yourself. You can rotate between churches. It really is all about you and your walk, babe.

I'm not telling you that you have to go to church. Unfortunately, I cannot give you an answer of what to do, because it has to work for you and whatever you have going on with God. I just want you to know that churches- though they can be scary and difficult and complicated- can also do some very important things for your faith journey. I also don't think that church should ever be the center of someone's spiritual life; Sunday mornings are a chance to ground yourself, a place to land when you need it, something to steady yourself, but not the only time or place God comes to you or that you're supposed to live out the values of the faith.

Regardless, this, and most things in the Christian faith, is not about finding one answer. It is about living in a way that works right now. Churches change, you move, what worked once won't always work forever, and that's ok. The whole point of this thing is to commit to the walk and the process. Of loving your neighbor right here and now. So I hope this helped somewhat. I hope this becomes easier for you-- the most important thing is that Christ is with you and that sets you free from all fear and shame if you let it, no matter how much people try to push those things onto you. I hope you find peace on this and that you find a solution that works for you.

Congratulations on your conversion! We are happy to have you in the family :)

#asks

[compusever]

Hi there! Bit of a weird question, and I’m not sure if this is the right blog for this, but… best laptop for privacy? I’m going to go to uni in a year and my parents have said that they’re going to buy me a laptop, which is awesome, except— I don’t know which one to chose? I’ve never had a laptop before but I try to take being private online as seriously as I can, and so I don’t really care… well, like, I do care that the laptop has good storage and works and stuff, but I care mostly about how private it is. Which one supports adding privacy-related stuff the best? Which one steals your data the least? I… am actually not sure what kind of questions I should be asking, since… again, never had a laptop before, and I don’t know what about its make makes it private (other than like general online privacy practices across all devices), so I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for me? Tldr: don’t care about fancy features, just want a laptop that more or less works, but would love privacy to be the main focus. This can sort of come at the expense of convenience - I don’t care it if’s harder to set up, use, etc., so long as I can connect to the internet with it.

So the hardware is pretty agnostic on this, the place where privacy is going to become an issue is in the software.

Windows loves to track you and send your data back to homebase; Apple is a walled garden that doesn't let people get deep into configurations; linux is intimidating for a lot of people.

Your actual best bet on privacy would be to get a laptop with no OS and install a linux distro on it, but it sounds like that's probably not something that's terribly approachable for you. So in that case I'd recommend getting a Windows laptop (mac prices aren't worth it) and going through this list to change the settings to ensure better privacy.

HOWEVER please note that you should be getting a laptop with a full OS. Windows has an option for "windows 11s" or "windows 10s" and first off you should be going with 11 at this point but second that "s" means that there are pretty strict limitations on what you can do as a user in terms of configuration and installation.

If you are willing to pay a bit more for Windows 11 Pro instead of windows 11 Home, the pro license cuts off some of the more annoying tracking that Windows does automatically, but I'd say you're better off simply getting the home license and really digging into the settings and getting to know it and setting it up for yourself.

BUT if it's at all possible, honestly I'd say get a bare metal laptop (that means it's just the hardware, no software, you need to install an operating system before you do anything) and install linux. HOWEVER keep in mind that there are some significant downsides to using linux as a student, mostly that you'll likely run into software at some point that you won't be able to install. Also if you're not already pretty good with computers it can be difficult to keep a linux machine running (but very easy to make it private; that's the tradeoff - you can make it more secure more easily, but you really have to know how to fix your own computer if something goes wrong.)

For your situation, again, I think a Windows 11 Home laptop with the settings adjusted is your best bet.

Absolutely positively don't get a chromebook (you've got no control of the settings on a chromebook and the thing is made to feed information to google) and don't get a mac (you can get better specs on a PC at a lower cost).

For an idea of budget on this, I'd say you can probably get something from Dell, Lenovo, or HP for around $650-1000 dollars that's got decent specs (12th gen or newer i5 processor, 16gb RAM, 512GB SSD) and maybe something more like $500-800 from acer, asus, or samsung. Whatever computer you end up getting, you should get the added drop protection warranty because that means the manufacturer will fix your laptop if you drop it, something that is a bigger deal for college students than most people (because of your environment you're more likely to end up with drop damage than a lot of people AND because you're a college student you probably won't be able to afford to fix or replace the computer)

Good luck!

[cosmic-kaden]

Oh Bite Me! (MDNI+18)

Ship: Matt x Kaden (I HATE THIS MAKE HIM GO AWAY /lh /j)

Words: 1,592 (helpmeeeee)

cw: Play wrestling and biting. Public whimpering?? (killme/j)

Summary: Kaden makes an off hand comment. Matt takes it literally and gets a lovely surprise.

Note: If you aren't a self-shipper please dni I have anxiety. lol

WHY IS THIS MAN WHO WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A JOKE F/O MAKING ME FEEL THINGS I SHOULDN'T BE FEELING WITH HIM >: c FUCK! THIS IS ALL BROOKE'S FAULT! /LH (I'm blaming you and your ask on my other blog shhhhh lol)

ok 2 rb or whatever hhhhhh // banners by Cafekitsune and benkeibear

'Oh shit! Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do!? What do I say!? I should run? Yeah, run. Take off!'

Kaden's head was reeling, their cheeks flushed and their heart beating rapidly in their chest. It actually felt like their heart was about to explode. Kaden turned on their heel to see him, staring wide-eyed at you, almost like a deer caught in headlights. Kaden swallowed thickly.

"What was that?" He asked and Kaden wanted to die inside.

Matt and Kaden were just being goofs together. It wasn't unusual for these two to get into random playful "fights" which weren't fights in the slightest, more like playful wrestling matches over silly things like withholding keys and stuff, taunting the other to 'come get it' today was no different.

Kaden had taken his keys and taunted him until they were a mess of limbs on the couch, Matt managed to get on top of them and pinned them down on their stomach. Kaden had the keys clutched tightly against their chest so if Matt really wanted them he would have to dig them out.

"You're lucky I'm being nice and not using my full strength" Matt grinned.

It was all very light-hearted and playful! That was until Kaden made an off-handed comment, it was something they just said without thinking much of it, they didn't think he'd literally do it.

"Oh bite me!"

"Well If you insist~" Matt didn't know! He was just being playful!

Kaden was trying to squirm out from under him and told him no, do not bite them!!

They were laughing because yeah, they were having fun. Kaden managed to squeeze out from under him and stood to their feet but Matt was quick, he sprang up from the couch and wrapped his arms around Kaden's upper arms, trapping their arms against the sides of their body, he pulled them in flush against him, their back collided with his chest when Matt let out a playful growl and bit into the junction of Kaden's shoulder and neck it was a playful bite but it was also hard, he used some force when he clamped down on their skin which caused Kaden to accidentally let out a low moan.

They both froze. Matt detached his mouth from Kaden and Kaden's expression was nothing less than horrified. So this was where they were right now, Kaden inhaled deeply they wanted to eject themselves into space, Kaden you dumb fuck…

"W-What was what?" Kaden tried their best to feign innocence even though they both knew what just happened. Kaden's eyes flicked up to Matt's only to see that his face was equally as flushed.

"I was expecting a cry? A yell? ….you…" Matt shuffled on his feet, the confidence he once had from playing around had disintegrated and he looked a little shy.

'Oh god, I made him uncomfortable!' Kaden was mentally slapping themselves, they glanced away. This relationship was still somewhat fresh and while they've done stuff together they haven't gotten too intimate with each other, not enough to find out what kinks the other person had.

"I..uh…" Kaden fell silent, they didn't know what to say, they just knew they wanted to run away and try to stop their face from wanting to explode. This was terrible!

"So you're kinda a freak?" Matt said bluntly, his voice holding a hint of playfulness to it and Kaden's attention drew to him, they looked at him in shock only to see Matt with a rather smug little smirk on his face. "My lover is a freeeeeeak~" Matt grinned, grabbing Kaden's arm, pulling them into him.

"I am not!!!" Kaden flailed and Matt grinned, resuming his position before, wrapping his arms tight around Kaden.

"You are~" Matt chuckled lowly.

"S-Shut up!" Kaden laughed softly.

"Now to use my powers for good or evil~" Matt teased, as he dipped his head down, nudging his head under Kaden's chin as he placed soft kisses along their jawline. Kaden's face felt like it was going to burst and their breathing hitched when they felt him reach their neck.

He pulled away and grinned widely when he heard Kaden let out a little whine. Matt was quick and snatched his keys out of Kaden's hand and Kaden was standing there dazed and stunned.

"I win~" Matt dangled his keys in front of Kaden's face and smiled widely.

"Son of a bitch! you cheated!" Kaden snapped when their brain caught up with them.

"Hey, it's not my fault you got distracted. It's also not my fault you get horny when you get bit~" Matt winked playfully and Kaden had to walk away from the situation, they simultaneously wanted to jump him and smack him, and their reaction made Matt laugh.

Kaden ended up being distracted the entire day because of that little stunt from Matt. The part he bit was tender, he used a good amount of force behind that bite, Kaden brought their fingers up to the tender area and pressed a little, yup it was very tender and Kaden groaned softly, readjusting in their seat as they tried to compose themselves. They were at work, they couldn't think of that right now!

At the end of the day, Kaden was collecting their things when Matt surprise back hugged them and Kaden smiled, their hand coming up to ruffle a bit of his blonde hair.

"Hi Matt~"

"You done?" Matt kissed their cheek and pulled away from them.

"Yes, I'm free finally~" Kaden chuckled. It was the same thing every day, Matt would always find them and the first thing he did was hug them. Despite Matt's anger issues with other people when they arose he was actually incredibly sweet.

Kaden turned on their heel when Matt pulled away so they could face him, the corridor was somewhat loud with people talking amongst themselves as everyone was leaving work for the day. Matt glanced around. "Not too many people.." he mumbled.

Kaden tilted their head, a quizzical expression tugging their face. "hm? No there usually isn't..why?" Kaden raised an eyebrow. "Matt. Whyyyy?" Kaden asked, their voice holding a bit of suspicion.

"Well, you know…" Matt reached out and grabbed Kaden by their hips, pulling them into him. Kaden flushed a little but wrapped their arms loosely over his shoulders, they looked up at him and chuckled softly. What in the hell was he up to?

That's when Kaden felt themselves being pushed back, they nearly tripped and had to move their feet quickly to keep up with Matt, their back collided with the wall and Kaden groaned softly. "Matt," Kaden said sternly, their eyes locking with his.

His brown eyes glimmered with a hint of mischievous intent. "I've made a decision.." His voice was low, only enough for Kaden to hear as he moved in closer to them, he planted a firm quick to their lips that left Kaden feeling momentarily lightheaded.

"A-And that is?" Kaden asked breathlessly, their body once again heating up like they did earlier in the day.

Matt grinned, peppering small kisses along their jaw and down their neck, his lips pressed against the tender spot from earlier where he had bit, his grin only widening when Kaden let out a soft whimper. This was embarrassing, thankfully everyone was too caught up in their conversations to see the two at the end of the corridor.

"I think I'll use my power for evil.." Matt breathed against the spot.

"Remember to be quiet now~" Matt hummed, his one hand going up to Kaden's mouth before he sunk his teeth into the same spot he did before except this time he bit and he bit hard. Kaden's hands gripped the fabric of his uniform tightly, their eyes screwing tightly shut as they felt that familiar shiver of pleasure wracks through their body.

Matt pulled them flush against him as he began to suck at their flesh, Kaden could absolutely feel his arousal pressed up against their leg and Kaden whimpered against his hand. Matt finally let go of their skin, bringing his hand off their mouth as he lightly kissed the now-darkening purple mark on their skin.

He straightened his posture as Kaden's fists unballed from from uniform. He admired the look on Kaden's face, their cheeks flushed, their chest heaving, their lips parted and their eyes glazed over.

A small smug smirk graced his lips but it soon turned into surprise and laughter when Kaden grabbed him, dragging him off to the nearest janitorial closet. "Can't wait till we get back to your place?"

Kaden slammed the closet door behind them and kissed him hard, it was messy full of teeth and tongue. "You pull a stunt like that again and I'll fucking kill you.." Kaden moaned against his lips, their hands already finding their way to the zipper on his jumper, pulling it down as their mouth travelled down his neck.

"I pull a stunt like that again and I'm sure you'l-- a-ah.." Matt hissed through his teeth, his eyes screwing shut, Kaden gave him a taste of his own medicine in the exact spot where he had marked them. They sucked his flesh and moaned teasingly against him when they heard him groan softly.

Matt surprised himself with how he was reacting to Kaden's bite. "T-Touche.." Matt moaned softly as Kaden's hand went lower, making a point to gently scratch over his abdomen with their nails, not enough to draw blood or hurt him.

"G-Guess we're both freaks now huh~?"

I ain't tagging ANYONE my face is going to fucking combust, goodbye >///<

#[screams into my hands] MY FACE IS ON FIRE AND I HATE IT! I HATE THIS GUY! HE'S UGH- /affectionate #Okay to rb but I won't expect it! sldkjflsdf #mdni!!! #18+ mdni #mdni #not minors allowed #not for minors #cw: suggestive #tw: suggestive #long post

[sophieinwonderland]

hey so anti-psych-pro-endo is currently seeking to have a conversation with you but feels that you are ignoring them. I feel its good to atleast respond to them but we understand if you just would rather not

Lots of people want to have conversations with me. Unfortunately, after getting my ask box down to 160 at the end of last year and being hopeful I could get it down to 100 by the end of this year, it's since ballooned to over 200 that I'm failing to keep up with. All while syscourse is getting more chaotic and I feel the need to try my best to keep up with that while defending our community from people seeking to harm it.

And between there, I want to be able to just make posts about topics I actually want to talk about. Things like my Dimensions of Fronting post or more "Plurality of..." I was planning on trying to get out a "Plurality of... Rogue" to coincide with the ending of X-Men 97. I never even started that!

That rambling ask that I wrote to them and never sent wasn't even about them really. I was hurt because someone else, who had been a longtime mutual, had blocked me for my views and I was going to send that ask to someone I knew they followed just so they'd have to see it. It was petty and stupid of me, and I realized before finishing the ask how petty and stupid I was being, which was I never sent that ask to them. (At the same time, I felt like I invested way too much work into it to completely delete it, hence posting it on my blog with no tags. Call it sunk cost fallacy. 😜)

Getting into a drawn-out argument over this isn't something I'm interested in though.

Some people just aren't ever going to be on the same wavelength or share the same values. People who know me know that I can be very critical of the psych industry for a lot of things. Historically, the psych industry perpetuated a lot of ableism. Too many people have been abused by individual psych doctors. There's too much clinging to tradition. And on top of that, we have a pharmaceutical industry that is digging in, bribing doctors, and leading to medication being overprescribed across both physical and mental health fields.

But I also know countless people who rely on it, were able to heal because of it, and who might be dead without it. Overall, I see it in the current age as a force for good in the world. And I want to see an even better psych industry that is more inclusive, helps more people, and can take stronger steps towards dealing with corruption and abuse.

I've heard them. I know why they feel how they do. And that's why I know nothing I say will change their minds. But nothing they say will change mine. So what's the point? Is there anything to be gained by having this conversation while our community is under fire from sysmeds?

I don't think there is. I'm okay agreeing to disagree on this and work towards our shared goals together. Or if they'd prefer, I'm okay with going our separate ways and working towards our shared goals separately. But this conversation doesn't seem beneficial nor enjoyable to me.

And if I don't think it will benefit the community and I'm not having fun with it, then I don't see a point in dedicating more time to it. 🤷‍♀️

#psychiatry #psychology #syscourse