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the-fiction-witch · 6 months

Text

Feelings

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Sweet + SMut

Requested:

Hey fiction witch, if u can see this I have a request, in the show Beth leaves New York and goes back to her house and when Beth and Benny r on the phone Benny gets upset and tells Beth to not call him, after that happens can u plz make y/n find out that Beth hurt Benny and y/n being her sweet and empathetic self, goes to comfort Benny in his house and yk wtv happens next 🤭 if u can make that story asap that would be amazing thank u 🙏

I shifted my hips from side to side humming along with the tune coming from my record player speaker, My hands in the hot water washing up the dishes and pots from dinner. I jumped as I heard my phone begin its blaring. So I left the last pot to soak trying off my hands on my apron as I scampered my shoes across the floor of my little townhouse I quickly turned down the volume on my record player as I passed the shelf, I lost my footing a little on the rug's stupid curled corner and went tumbling onto my sofa on my back, luckily just beside my phone table so I picked up the red rotary phone from the table bringing it to my ear.

"Y/l/n Residence." I smiled

"Hi y/n" Beth smiled

"Ohh, My my to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Harmon?"

"Oh you know, nothing unusual. How's queens?"

"Boring. But finally unpacked my last few boxes so shaping up nicely. How's kentuky?"

"Much the same" she smiled "So, I had a question."

"ahh there is the point of your call, of course, ask away"

"You've been to Moscow correct?"

"Yes, I have. I assume there is a follow-up question."

"Yeah, I'm doing a bit of packing. I know everyone says Moscow is cold but... exactly how cold?"

"When they say cold they mean cold beth. It's freezing in Moscow. The snow came up to my knees. I was so cold I ripped stuffing out of the hotel pillow to shove in my bra because I was convinced my nipples would freeze off. and that's coming from a New York girl" I laughed "Pack for ice. Pack for snow. Pack for seeing your breath inside buildings."

"Really?"

"If you're too hot you can always take layers off," I explained

"Fair enough,"

"That all?"

"I had something else to ask too"

"Sure, fire away."

"Did you... Like to fuck Benny?"

"That's a bold question for six pm"

"But did you, when you two were... together?"

I laughed "My darling Elizabeth. Me and Benny never have been... together. Not officially anyway."

"But when you did. Did you like to?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"You can say every time you've had sex you liked it? sometimes stuff's just shit"

"But other than those times"

"I did. Course I did. Benny... is a complicated man"

"How so?"

"Because he's Benny" I laugh "He's weird, he thinks fifteen steps ahead at any one moment, he's passionate and dedicated with an ego big enough to fly himself to Moscow and back, but he's also... you know a man. so he's blunt and simple, and can't see a hint five inches in front of his face." I explained, "Why?"

"I think. it might be over."

"Over? Did it ever begin?"

"I mean... kinda. sort of. It's complicated."

"Beth. What happened?"

"So you know how Benny's been bugging me to come to New York"

"Yes. Because he misses you. That's his way of saying that."

"Yeah he even told me"

"He told you he missed you?"

"Yes"

"And you did what?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing!"

"Yeah I mean we called a little more but not much else. and I kinda... pissed him off"

"What did you do?"

"I gave the church the money back. I tried to ask him for money. if he wants to come he can help me pay for it right? he flipped out and told me not to call him again. That was... two days ago and he won't answer the phone. Guess I'm just kinda..."

"You're serious?" I sighed

"Yeah."

"Okay... I have not got time to deal with you" I sighed sitting up normally "All I'm gonna say is you've fucked up Beth. And I am going to clean this up, not because I want to help you. But because I care too much about Benny. I will call you later and we will have a chat" I told her before hanging up the phone

"Fuck..." I sighed "Harmon, you do make my life difficult" I grabbed the phone again and dialled the number for the Brooklyn basement listening to it ring but no answer, I tried again but still no answer, I gave it one more try but still no answer.

I gave up setting the phone back on the receiver and I got to my feet untieing my apron throwing it on the kitchen table grabbing my handbag making sure to grab my spare key. changing my shoes and slipping on my gloves before rushing out locking up my front door as I scampered down the steps of the stoop I unlocked the door on my little red mini threw my bag on the passenger seat quickly started the car up and scampered through the New York streets using all the little cut thoughts I knew to travel the six miles from my townhouse in queens to the basement in Brooklyn. I pulled my mini up behind the little blue Beatle parked and grabbed my bag climbing out of the car and heading down the little foul-smelling stairwells until I finally reached the metal door giving it a firm few taps. No answer came. but I could hear noises from within. I knocked much louder but still no answer came.

I rolled my eyes grabbed the spare key from my handbag forced it into the lock and opened the door shutting it behind me immediately I could tell things weren't good.

This apartment was dark, gloomy and damp as usual, bottles littered his table enough you could use them as pieces in a chess game, and things haphazardly moved around the apartment. And Benny amongst it all. Barefoot. Black jeans tight to his body, his belt gone, his black turtleneck on with his sleeves rolled up, frustration across his face, a beer in hand that he finished and there across his apartment smashing it on the wall.

“Benny?”

He ran a hand through his hair and glanced up at me “Hey y/n.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine” he snapped grabbing a cigarette from his table setting it in his mouth and lighting it up with his old Zippo

“Benny.” I glared

“I'm fine.” He snapped

“Beth called me.”

“Did she now? You come down to tell me I'm an asshole”

“I don't make judgements till I hear both sides” I answered “So, tell me what happened.”

“So it fucking -”

“Calmly.”

“It's over. I'm done with her. I have put up with so much shit from her. She treats me like a doormat, and only calls me when she needs something. Well she can go fuck herself” he says pacing around his apartment

“Okay, what exactly happened?”

“She gave the money back. Asked me to pay for us. She ignored everything I told her. All because she didn't want to sign some worthless bit of paper. Now I can't go to Moscow with her. Fine, she clearly didn't want me with her anyway.”

“Alright, and you told her?”

“I told her not to call me again. She wants to do this on her own fine. She can. She won't hear a word from me, but she can fuck off if she wants anything.”

“You've been ignoring calls?”

“I didn't exactly feel like talking right now”

“Alright, go get changed and I'll make you some tea”

“I don't -”

“Benny. Don't make me bonk you with a spoon”

“Fine I will get changed” he sighed going to his room “and make coffee.”

“No tea. Coffee will keep you up and you do not need more energy right now” I explained going and making some nice tea one for me and one for Benny taking and sitting them both on the small table in the centre of the living space, as well as a glass of water I took a small dustpan and brush from the cabinet and cleaned up the broken glass from the bottle as well as any other little mess that littered the apartment. I went to the small record player beside the chair and for a moment flipped through his small collection grabbing a nice album of some gentle swing music adding it to the player letting it spin and turning it down to almost nothing, and I took a seat on the pile of pillows he used as a sofa. Soon enough he returned with a fresh set of clothes, some new jeans, a black T-shirt and his green button-down

“There you feel a little better now?”

“It is nice to have some fresh clothes on” he grunted back

“Come on” I offered patting the pillow beside me

“I'm not in the mood y/n”

“Benny. Come here.”

He rolled his eyes but came and sat beside me still as angry and frustrated as before leaning his head against the exposed bricks

“Good, now when did you last drink something?”

“I'm not thirsty”

“Did I ask that?”

“No”

“When did you last drink something? You're only going to give yourself a headache” I told him, offering him the water but he turned away “Hydrate. Or I will hit you with a spoon”

He took the glass and had a sizable sip

“Thank you, now come here and talk it out”

“Y/n I know you mean well but I’m-”

“I will get the spoon in a minute.” I warn “Come” I demanded patting my thigh

He rolled his eyes but leant over so I wrapped my arms around him letting him lay his head in my lap “I don't see how this is going to help”

“You need to acknowledge and work through your feelings”

“I don't have feelings. I'm a man.”

“Ohh no you don't have feelings. That's why you've been spending your days in a dark basement drinking like a fish and frustrated smoking. No feelings at all” I smiled gently petting his soft fluffy hair

“I don't need to work through my feelings.”

“Yes, you do. Otherwise, you're just going to be angry forever. And god knows I can't deal with that” I laughed

“Fine” he sighed

“Take a moment just to clear the brain” I smiled playing with his hair in all the usual spots he liked me too

“My brain doesn’t clear.”

“Then hyperfocus. On the ticking of the clock, the nice gentle music, clear the mind of all other things and just exist for a moment”

We sat for a few moments just enjoying the quiet of his basement, the gentle hum of the music and the rhythm of our breaths

“Okay” He nods sounding far calmer than before

“That help?”

“A little”

“Okay do a Big breath in.”

“Why do I-”

“Benny” I warned so he did as I asked “Big breath in. And back out. Another one in… and another out. Okay? Feel a little better?” I smiled walking him through it a few times

“A bit”

“Are you calmer?”

“Somewhat”

“So, tell me what happened”

“You going to tell me when I’m wrong?”

“No. I'm not going to say anything you just explain and I will listen.”

“I try asking her for months to come up to New York, actually spend some time together, no she's busy she needs to do this, she needs to do that, she ghosts me for six months, okay I try asking to go to Paris with her support her with the tournament, no she's going on her own, she can't afford to take me too, so fine she goes on her own only when she's fucked herself up so bad she looses her tournament and has headlines everywhere she was drunk as a sailor then! I got a call. I try to be supportive and offer to pick her up from the airport. No, she wants to be alone. I try to talk her through everything and offer her a safe space, so we can be together and work stuff out, no she wants to be alone. She wants to drink. Fine, I try! I try and say she can drink so long as she came here no she wants to go and get drunk. She goes home to Kentucky and ghosts me again. She calls me finally because she wants my advice and again I try to get her to come here, I try and be nice hell I told her I fucking missed her nope she wants to stay on her own meaning she wants to fucking drink. And again I'm ghosted. She completely ignores what I tell her to do. She gives the church their money and calls me up like I'm the problem! Like I haven't spent the last year waiting for your phone calls like some abandoned puppy! Says she's paying her own way to Moscow and can't afford to take me with her, if I wanna come I need to pay, when she knows full well I don't have two thousand dollars laying around to jet off to Moscow. Accused me of gambling it all away. So fuck it. Fuck her. She wants to go and her drunk and fuck her life up that's her decision she's not taking me down with her. I'm not staying as her fucking doormat fuck to treat her how she wants. If she'd rather get drunk than be with me fine I hope she and her bottle are happy”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“Benny, feelings are not shit. use your words. Not just your swears.”

“Like… why should I bother you know? Like I'm trying so so much and you're giving absolutely nothing back. And that makes me feel like I'm the asshole for wanting anything”

“You're not an asshole for wanting acknowledgement Benny. You've done a lot for Beth and it's not easy for you to be emotionally numerable”

“Exactly! It's like you bare your fucking soul to someone and their response is okay cool. What else? Like I don't know what more you want from me. Am I being a dick? Asking for too much or something?”

“I don't think so, I do think you also need to respect Beth is also not an emotional person. The two of you aren't going to have a great emotional conversation because neither of you are good emotional communicators and that's fine some people aren't, but it would seem you are putting a lot of effort in, now Beth may not see it as a lot of effort in her mind and may not be seeing how much effort that Is for you and not appreciate it as much or it could be that she just expects more. and if you can't give her that then you can't there's nothing wrong with that Benny”

“Do you think I'm an emotionally distant person?”

“You can be. You're… very practical Benny. You're emotional to the extent of practically, when emotions aren't useful you don't bother to express them. But I do think you not in the wrong here you've made a lot of moves to be more outwardly expressive and it was clear you were upset long before this” I explained “I think, and of course, you don't need to take my advice. But I think you and Beth need time apart I think you both need to not see one another, not speak to one another, for a couple of weeks I think you both need to separately decide the kind of relationship you want together. If you want to have the kind of relationship where you call every other day and talk or if you want a relationship where you talk every six months how much emotional investment you each have needs to be equal and it clearly isn't so I think spend time apart to think and when she gets back from Moscow you two need to talk and see where you go from here.”

“... Your right.” He sighed sitting up “Where did you learn all this stuff anyway?” He asks having some tea

“Therapy. You know that thing I keep telling you to go to”

“I don't need therapy”

“Everyone needs therapy, Benny.”

“I don’t”

“Yes, you do.” I told him “You have a lot of untapped emotional issues rattling around in that big head of yours” I told him having some tea “And I’m boarder line convinced you have… some type of-”

“No I don’t” he snapped

“Benny you hyperfocus on chess, don’t understand your own emotions, freak out when someone tries to touch your skin, and use your rings like fidget toys… and you don’t think there might be a possibility you could have some form of -”

“No.”

“Fine, fine. I’m not going to argue with you” I giggled “You should go to therapy though Benny.”

“Ohh what because I have ‘emotional trauma’?”

“Yes. you do.” I told him “Even if it's just having someone to talk to, to rant about your problems”

“That's why I have you”

“I'm not your therapist Benny”

“Sorry”

“It's fine” I smiled pressing a kiss to the top of his head “You really liked her didn't you?”

“I did. I kinda thought we were the same. Maybe we're too much alike”

“Do you think maybe… you're seeing the bad things in Beth that you see in yourself?”

“Kinda. I think it's … made me realize how bad it is to be on that side of it. To be the one waiting by the phone on the promise of a call that never comes. I think I'm .. trying though. I can see how bad it is and in trying to fix it but just feels like bailing a bucket out a lake”

“Well, baby steps. Just the fact you see it and are making steps is still better. You're never going to bail the lake if you don't start with a bucket”

“I guess so. It makes me wonder… how she sees me. I know officially we didn't label anything but, I kinda think she just saw me as a chessboard that could make her cum”

“What did you want her to be?”

“....I don't know. Guess I wanted someone to call. Someone to spend time with. Someone who wants to talk to me. Listens to me. Makes me feel like what I say makes a difference. Like I Matter to them. Someone who gets excited about spending time with me, who wants to be with me not because we might play chess or we might have sex but just because we like being together”

“You ever tell her that?”

“No.”

“Then … you can't expect her to give you that Benny. She's not a mind reader. She doesn't know that's what you want same as you don't know what she wants. You two are both people not great at emotions be the best course is to straight forward sit her down and say that's what you want and if that's not what she wants you can either try to find a middle ground or that can be it”

“Your right. But I don't want to see her. Or talk to her. I don't completely want to think about her but there's no getting out of that” he explained lighting another cigarette “But I'm done. Unless she's willing to try I don't want anything more than to be her friend”

“If that's what you want. That's what you want” I smiled taking the cigarette from him putting it out in the table’s ashtray “You’re not smoking because you want it you smoking because your frustrated.” I laughed

“Your therapist tell you that too?”

“No. I just know you, Benny. Besides you’ve been doing really good. Don’t destroy all your progress just because you’re mad” I told him

“You rather I drink?”

“I’d rather you have healthy coping mechanisms but you know… baby steps.” I smiled “You feel a bit better? Got all that off your chest?”

“Yeah. Thanks y/n.”

“Your welcome” I smirked having some tea “It's kinda funny”

“What is?”

“That's exactly what I wanted. Back when we …”

“Really?” He asks

“Yeah. I'd have killed for you to want to spend time with me without it seeming like I was dragging you away from something you wanted to do more”

“.... Fuck. I was a dick.”

“You kinda were.” I laughed “But we wanted different things that's okay”

“I feel like shit. Maybe things would be different if I figured out this is what I wanted”

“Maybe” I shrug “But you didn’t want that then that’s fine you can change your mind as life changes, that wasn’t the sort of thing you wanted then”

“You’re a very emotional person. I think I struggled with that”

“I can be… overly emotional. In working on it. Trying not to overthink everything so much.” I said “How do you think it felt for me sitting here miles deep in overthinking as to why you weren’t talking to me, that you were mad, that I did something wrong, all the while you just sat there playing chess completely unaware I was even upset being quiet because… you like to sit quietly.”

“I saw you were upset… when it was too late. By the time I picked up on it you crying so far down an emotional rabbit hole even if I did know How to deal with it, it was kinda too late”

“And yes that is on you for not noticing my emotions but also on me for not being clearer with them, literally could have fixed all my overthinking with, Benny are you mad at me? But no I wanted to sit there pouting getting more and more anxious waiting for you to figure out that I was worried.”

“I always felt like a dick for asking you what was wrong,”

“Because I wanted you to pick up on it. I didn’t want to tell you I just wanted you to pick up and fix it. And that's on me. That was my issue and I’m getting better. Can’t expect people to know everything. But you're getting better too, learning when people are upset being more outwardly emotional if you need a little coaxing.”

“Or threatening”

“Everyone is different Benny. The sooner you realize that the easier life is. Everyone you speak to, and everyone you see is completely different we all think differently, behave differently, and have different responses to things, and no one can read minds. We all need to give each other a little more slack because we don't know what's going on in their head and they'll never know what's happening in ours. Some people can read emotions across your face like a book, some people need to be told or they'll never learn. I was an emotionally overthinking young woman craving emotional intimacy without having to ask for it. While being in a non-official relationship with a man who can't read emotions, has a hard time expressing his feelings and craves reassurance. On top of the very basic one, what's to fuck one wants to love problem. You surprised it went south?”

“I crave reassurance?”

“Benny. You're a chess player who dresses like a goth pirate.”

“Point taken”

“It's fine people grow and change neither of us are the people we were then”

“That's true” he nods “Can I get the number for your therapist?”

“Why?”

“He sounds good. The fact you rattled all that off is pretty impressive”

“Find your own therapist. Don't want conflicts of interest”

For a moment he was puzzled “You talk about me in therapy?”

“Yeah”

“God was I that much of a cunt?”

“No. You’re my friend. Our lives are very intertwined is all” I laughed leaning on his shoulder

“that’s fair” he laughed “... Do you think I ask for too much? With Beth?”

“I think… you ask for more than she's comfortable with. Let's face it Benny your fighting against an addiction. You might have an ego and you might love chess but you're not physically addicted to it”

“I just feel like in trying so hard, pushing myself so far beyond what I'd normally be comfortable with the least she can do is try”

“if that's how you feel. Then I think she should respond to that”

“I'm not a dick?”

“I don't think so” I smiled

“Thanks y/n. I'm really thankful you came over”

“Well I can't just leave you someone has to try and get you through these gross… feelings you're not used to”

“Can you stay?”

“What?”

“Can you stay? I don't think I wanna be on my own tonight”

“Of course Benny”

We stayed up a little long chatting about things but soon it came time for bed he put up the air bed for himself and I took his bed even if I argued but he let me have it.

I changed borrowing one of his shirts for the night getting cosy in the warm bed.

The lights out the only sound the occasional sound of the New York cars above the basement.

I was about to drift off when I perked up hearing the creek of the door and soon enough the covers moved and Benny crawled in with me

“Hi”

“Did you want your own bed back?”

“No, I just… I don't wanna be alone right now” he says slowly wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight to his body my hips to his my back to his chest squeezing me almost like I was his teddy bear

“Okay Benny, you don't need to worry I'll be right here,” I reassured letting him squeeze me tightly to his body, he held me tight pressing his lips to my shoulder

“Can I get my anger out?” He asked

“Alright” I nodded

He moved and pushed me down on my back “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I nodded

He nodded and leant down to nibble and kiss my neck, before he pulled down his boxers and tugged off my panties, he started off gently slipping himself inside me he held my hips firmly digging his nails into my skin as he aggressively thrusted, often bitting his lips and gritting his teeth letting out his frustration and anger though the movement of his hips. He began to slow so I smiled and held his hips gently turning us so he laid on his back and I sat on top of him gently moving my hips slowly “Reveling in your anger is not going to make you feel better” I smiled stroking his stomach as I moved

“I know. I just wanted to get the anger out” he sighed moving his hips with me

“Wouldn’t this be nicer?”

“It is much nicer.” he smiled “Nice and calming” He cooed sitting up a little and wrapping his arms around me to pull me into his chest for an intense kiss I smiled into the kiss as I moved my hips faster trying to match his own speed getting more and more intense the longer it went on I knew I was close starting to nibble on his neck as I began to slow getting close to my edge he noticed and smirked making sure to work as hard as he could letting out the last of his frustration until I reached my peak biting his neck as I did which in turn got him to his own edge burying himself deep inside me and riding it out before he collapsed against the bed and I basically fell off onto the other side

“Feel better now Benny?”

“Yeah” he nods between gasps “That is way better than therapy”

“They're not mutually exclusive Benny.”

“I still think this is better”

“You can’t just ignore your feelings and deal with your frustrations through sex” I told him

He smirked and turned over to spoon me “Did it work?”

“...yes but?”

“Did it work?”

“Yes.”

“Then I'm gonna do it” he shrugs

“Alright Benny, if that’s how you wanna deal with your feelings” I laughed “Come on, let's get some sleep”

“Alright, Night”

“Night” I smiled giving him a little kiss before we cuddled up and drifted off to sleep.

I yawned as I woke up I gently pushed Benny’s arms off me climbed out the bed and headed across the apartment, I went to the kitchen and began to make coffee humming to myself a little.

“Morning,” Benny spoke up from the bedroom door

“Morning, How are you feeling today?”

“Better. Much better” he smiled coming and wrapping his arms around me giving my neck some kisses “You always make me feel better”

“I do?”

“You do. I’m sorry”

“For what?”

“For being a dick, when we…” he began “I realize it and I’m sorry”

“That's very sweet. Apology accepted. I’m sorry for how I was too”

“Apology accepted” he smiled

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with the shit from Beth”

“It’s fine. I know how to deal with it”

“Oh?”

“She can find another doormat. She wants to drink and wants to go on her own she can. I don’t want that. We can be friends if she wants but nothing more than that. I don’t feel like I want anything more”

“Okay. I’m proud of you, for expressing your feelings” I smiled

“Did you wanna stay for a while? Spend some time together?”

“Is that also part of you dealing with this?” I giggled turning to face him

“Kinda. But Now I know what you wanted. And I want that too. Maybe now we're a little older we’ll be better, more communicative, better with our feelings. So? Did you wanna try again?”

“On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Go to therapy, Benny.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“How much therapy?”

“How about one session, one date.”

“Three dates one session”

“Two.” “Deal” he smiled pulling me into a sweet kiss “Will you help me find one?”

“Yes, I will.” I giggled “Come on we’ll have coffee and a cuddle”

“Sounds perfect”

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imonlyhereforthexreaders · 9 months

Text

Gold Rush (part 6)

Benny watts x reader

Warnings: cliche tropes, the water class glass exchange was inspired by another author but I can’t find the exact quote so just know I’m not that creative

A/n: howdy darlings, I’m not too happy with this piece but I think I’m starting to find my footing again in this story so if this is well received I will make more parts so please lmk if that’s something you all are interested in. As usual be gentle with yourselves my lovelies ❤️‍🔥

The rest of the cocktail hour went by without any hiccups, with Benny’s arm around the back of your chair you noticed substantially less backhanded remarks, which, while sexist, was still appreciated. Dinner is brought out in carts with silver dishes overflowing and ready to be distributed.

“You got drinks, I’ll grab us both food” you offered, already on your feet. Benny made some effort to deter you, arguing he had no problem getting the food but you only brushed him off.

“I know the drill, you don’t like raw tomatoes,capers or olives” you assured, already heading towards the growing line, he followed you anyways.

“How’d you know that?” He inquired, and you almost laughed at the question.

“We’ve been to countless of these events together, I’ve just noticed overtime” he smirked teasingly,

“You’ve been watching me, huh?” You give him a gentle jab to the ribs,

“Yeah, with judgment at your childlike pickiness” he rolls his eyes but resigns himself to your shared table

Benny POV

I sat and watched her as the line creeped along, nursing a new bottle. Usually I’d drink at these events but seeing as I’m driving (y/n)s car, which was very close to her heart, I decided to stick with non alcoholic radlers.

“Are you Benny Watts?” The voice to my right catches me by surprise, the owner of the voice even more so. A woman, tall and thin, about (y/n)s age but maybe a little older, stands before me. She has short red hair and large eyes, and is wearing a black and white shift dress. I cleared my throat awkwardly, I was used to being around (y/n) but the idea of another chess girl did make me a little uneasy.

“That’s me, who’s asking?” I lean back into my chair, opening my legs and making eye contact, looking her up and down for any sign of familiarity.

“Beth Harmon” her arms are crossed over her chest, not moving to extend a hand, so I chose not to either. “You hold the US title, correct?” I nodded my head and for a while neither of us spoke, we just sized each other up. Deciding to test my luck I lean across the table, propping my chin up with one arm.

“Come to ask anything or just look at me? I’ve been told I’m quite easy on the eyes” She doesn’t smile or blush or send back a witty remark like (y/n) would, she just narrows her eyes,

“I’m just trying to meet my competition” I raise my eyebrow and am about to ask her what makes her, unheard of by me, my competition. Before a much more familiar voice behind me speaks up.

“I got us food Ben, it was wild in there, nearly had to shank someone in the eye in order to get the last of the garlic rolls- Oh hi! I saw you earlier and meant to introduce myself. I’m (y/n) (l/n), you’re Beth, correct?” Her voice is chipper as she sets out plates down on the table, extending her arm enthusiastically to the woman next to me, who just gives her a look before nodding her head and reluctantly meeting her handshake.

“That’s correct” (y/n) smiles widely,

“You should join us for dinner, we’ve got this table to ourselves and I’d love to know more about you-“

“I’m just leaving” Beth explains quickly “I think I’m going to take my dinner up to my room, thank you though” I watch (y/n)s grin falter before quickly producing another, more artificial smile.

“Of course, maybe I’ll see you tomorrow in competition” Beth nods and responds with a noncommittal “maybe” before removing herself from the situation. (Y/n) takes the seat across from me. She had grabbed two plates full of penne with vodka sauce, complete with the garlic rolls as she had described. I give a quick thank you before diving wholeheartedly into the food, not having eaten anything since breakfast. (Y/n) follows suit but in a much less enthusiastic way and I can see the cogs turning in her head.

“She’s supposed to be really good, new to the competitive world but very serious in the sport” her eyes raise to mine “Beth” she clarifies, as if there were an abundance of women competing in the event. I nodded in thought,

“Seems like a piece of work, feisty for sure” she nods in a distracted manner and continues pushing her food around. After about 20 minutes of deliberation I finally clear my throat,

“I’m going to take my plate back” I state, standing and gathering my used silverware “Do you want anything?” I ask. She had only eaten about half of her plate but quickly pushed it towards me.

“You can take mine back as well, if you don't mind.” she answered.

“You sure?” I question, glancing between her and the half full plate “You didn’t eat much”

“Yeah, I’m sure” she confirms “I just have a bit of a headache so I don’t really feel like eating much more” I nod in response,

“Alright, how about I drop these plates and we pull an Irish exit?” I offer, immediately feeling better when her face brightens into a smile.

“Sounds like a plan to me” she agrees, finishing off her glass. I made quick work of dropping the dishes off on a cart by the door before heading back to the table where (y/n) was standing, gathering her belongings. I pull her coat off the back of her chair, helping her into it. She offers me a shy smile over her shoulder and I mindlessly rub her biceps before gathering my own coat.

The night was still young and the room was even more crowded than before, I protectively wrapped my arm around (y/n)’s back, guiding her towards the staircase, feeling a swell of pride as she subconsciously leaned into my embrace. Her hand finds the bend of my arm as we make our way down the stairs and she doesn’t make any move to release it until we’ve let out into the cold evening air. She buries her face into my sleeve, muttering something I couldn’t quite make out.

“What was that, love?” I inquire, she pulls her face off of my arm scowling into the wind.

"Said it’s cold as shit” she repeats, before curling back into my side. I chuckle, reaching a hand up to stroke her hair reassuringly.

“We’ll turn the heat all the way up in the car,” I promise “you’ll be cooked medium rare by the time we get back to base” I hear her muffled giggle and smile to myself. Give me all the national titles and championship rings in the world, none of it stroked my ego like making her laugh. I’d spent the last 8 years of my life, at least, pushing myself to be competitive in chess in large part just to have a reason to be around her. We both lived for the chase, we both reveled in the intellectual challenge that the other presented, and at the end of the day we were both hard to satisfy. I couldn’t recall either of us maintaining a relationship beyond a few months in the past couple years at least. Arriving at the car I pull open her door for her which she rolls her eyes at but offers a ‘thank you’ regardless. I slid into the driver's side and turned the key in the ignition, allowing it to idle as I cranked the heat up and leaned over the bench seat to rummage through a box left on the back seat.

“What are you doing?” she asked, having kicked off her boots and pulled her feet up on the bench, hugging her knees for warmth. I unceremoniously dumped a wool blanket over her, just as I had done a few weeks ago that rainy night of the qualifier.

“Oh, Benny…” she said, probably meaning for it to be scolding even though it came out more like a coo.

“I know you well, doll” I smirked, finally shifting the car into first gear and pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. She scooted next to me, eliminating any space between us and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The proximity wasn’t new to us but her intentionally closing the distance made me want to hold my breath. She was much more shy in her advances and I knew any poorly placed joke could send her running, so I bit my tongue and kept my eyes on the road as if nothing had changed. She draped the blanket across both of our laps and I released my held breath. Of course there was a reason, there always is. (y/n) is a chess player, nothing if not calculated and I couldn’t allow myself to so easily forget that. But she leaned her head against my shoulder and shut her eyes.

“Thank you, Benny,” she hummed and I could feel her breath fan across my neck with each word. My skin burned where we connected, my entire right side from shoulder to thigh feeling so hot it may as well have been emitting light. I cleared my throat, keenly aware of the hot blood rising to my face.

“Don’t mention it,” I choke out. The closeness was one thing when we were both half awake and my body simply functioned to warm hers, but there was no reason to write this off as, no simple justification for her mouth to be so close to my jugular, for her legs to be pressed against mine. The car was warm, and getting warmer by the second, there were no misogynists to scare away from our table. It was just us in this vacuum and I drive forever if that’s what kept us here. The drive didn’t last forever, unfortunately and soon enough I was pulling into that long gravel driveway. The rattling of the car pulled (y/n) from her nap which she groaned in annoyance at, sitting up and stretching her arms behind her head. The movement relieved me of her contact, and although between her touch and the thick wool blanket covering us both I had been practically cooking alive, I felt cold without her almost instantly, as if she had taken all of our shared warmth with her. I shifted the car into neutral, pulling up the hand brake and turning off the ignition before turning to her. She looked warm, her cheeks slightly flushed, soft hair tangled around her face like sunbeams. She was like the sun and I was lucky enough to be basking in her light. She catches my gaze, quirking an eyebrow in question but I just look away and clear my throat. During the course of the drive back from town the sun had completely set, so after we both exited the car I linked our hands together as we squinted through the darkness towards the shadow-hidden cabin doing our best not to trip on rocks and fallen branches. After making it successfully up the porch steps I shoulder open the door and feel along the walls until I find the light switch which, when flipped, illuminates the dull yellow overhead lamp. I pull off my jacket and hang it along with the keys to the car by the door. (y/n) strides past me with a determined gait towards the bedroom and I hear a muffled “umph” accompanied by the whine of the old box spring letting me know she had found her destination. I lock the door behind me before heading towards the bedroom as well.

The room was still dark, only the faint yellow glow of the living room casting any light into the cold room. I begin searching through the drawers where I had unpacked my clothes the previous day in search of something warm but comfortable to sleep in.

“Benny?” comes a muffled voice from behind me. I see (y/n) cocooned in blankets with only her eyes and above visible peering through the darkness at me.

“Yes?” I answer, pulling two sets of fleece lined flannels and baggy sweats from the dresser.

“Could you grab me a glass of water?” She squeaks out.

“Yeah, here’s a set of warmer clothes if you want” I offer, dropping them beside her on the bed before heading to the kitchen. The water sputtered in the tap before finally evening out. I made quick work of washing two of the glasses in the cabinet just to be safe before filling them both and heading back towards our shared room. Upon pushing the door open I found (y/n) in a similar position as before, curled up on her side of the bed, but she was now wearing the sweater I had left her. She offered me a tired smile as I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her, handing her the glass. She took only a small sip before placing it nearly untouched on her nightstand, turning her attention back to me. Her eyelids were heavy as she looked up at me through her lashes. Reaching out she ran her hand over one of mine, grasping it in my lap.

“Do you remember asking your mum or dad for a water before bed?” She asked, shutting her eyes now.

“I do,” I confirmed, reaching my spare hand up to mindlessly brush the loose hair from her face.

“Do you remember how you hardly even wanted the water,” she nearly whispered, my hand stilled across her forehead “You just wanted the hand attached to the water, and the arm and the body”. Her eyes were squinted tightly shut as if she could convince herself she was saying it to no one if she didn’t have to look at me. As if her grip around my hand hadn’t tightened as if afraid I would pull away. I wouldn’t.

“I do,” I said simply, resuming the brushing of my hand across her hair. This time cupping her cheek and brushing my thumb over her eyelashes. She takes the invitation to open her eyes, and she smiles.

“Thank you, Benny” it's so quiet I almost miss it when she says it. I smile in return, pulling my hand from her slightly liquor flushed cheek.

“Anything for you, dollface” I return. Grabbing my own set of clothes and heading to the bathroom to change. When I return she’s already asleep beneath the mound of blankets and quilts. I slip into bed on her opposite side, managing to dislodge one blanket that would just have to be enough to get me through the night. The house had warmed noticeably from running the heater throughout the day but it still didn’t do much to keep the night cold from creeping in. I lay on my back, closing my eyes and feeling sleep start to take over only for it to be chased away by a weight covering me. I opened my eyes to find (y/n) had slung her body over mine, hand finding a fistful of my shirt as she curled her face into the crook of my neck. Her breathing hadn’t changed, her body had sought mine out in her sleep. I smiled and pulled the mound of blankets over us, creating an envelope of warmth. The wind whistled violently outside but we may as well have been camping on the sun.

#readerinsert #benny watts #benny watts x reader #queens gambit #fluff

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