Tumgik
#boost mayhaps??
secnghwa · 2 years
Text
ok uhhh hello i dunno if promo posts are a thing anymore but .. i am now back on tumblr after like half a year break and suddenly everything is different so i’d appreciate if mooties reblogged this <33 
anyways hello i am vivi !! i am an ateez gifblr who’s deathly in love with yunhwa and some of the gifs that ive made include sets like this seonghwa one or this san one or even this wooyoung one !! anyways i promise i am v nice and always open to talk to people :D 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
47 notes · View notes
ahollowgrave · 12 days
Text
I've been trying to queue things more so as not to spam people, idk if it's working or if it's just double spam (':
23 notes · View notes
lockandkeyhyena · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
COMMISSIONS OPEN!
LockandKeyHyena#1959 on discord, payment in AUD and through paypal only.
55 notes · View notes
that-glasses-dog · 1 year
Text
i want to promote this a bit. so basically, i have a webtoon.
do you want to read a story with a trans main character? who is also a badass villain with superpowers? (and is also hot)
and guess what? she has this best friend. and he has powers too (and is honestly a bit of a himbo) and he's her nemesis and neither of them know.
it's called The Tale of Two. read it.
tagging some people:  @shellyseashell @theogony @dellaskye @ash-the-enby-nerd @ravs6709 @an-absolute-travesty @callas-pancake-tree @not-the-arson-frog @florida-fruity-frog @maxsrainbowsheets @arson-anarchy-death @theprocrastibake @camelspit
23 notes · View notes
buttercup-bard · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Andreas Pietschmann als Hans Liebknecht & August Wittgenstein als Wolfgang von Boost, mit Maria Ehrich als Helga von Boost in
Ku’damm 59 - Teil 3
(Pt. 3|3)
22 notes · View notes
eeveedel · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Hi all! I’m getting ready to move out of state and am getting rid of some old things, and one of the things I’m trying to declutter are my old Harry sweatshirts. These are from his very first merch drop from HS1! I’ll be selling them cheap due to wear and tear. Individual details under the cut!
Pink pullover: $10 + shipping SOLD
Size Medium. Most discounted due to staining on the front and issues with the embroidery that were there when I first got it.
Blue pullover: $20 + shipping SOLD
Size small. Light wear and tear.
Black hoodie: $25 + shipping
Size small. Some wear and tear, in the best condition of all three.
If you are interested in any of these, please DM me! You must be comfortable giving me an address and using PayPal or Venmo. Let me know if you want more detailed photos as well!
19 notes · View notes
suchagallabitch · 2 years
Text
Hello stinkies, long time no see. 
a very, very long story short, I want to start writing again! except I also desperately need motivation lol (😭)
so I ask of you to send me a number 1-166 and i’ll write a silly little oneshot accordingly based on the list I have :) except I am just a little annoying and do have numbers that I can’t use: 11,61,65,77,81,82,139,144
anyway, that’s all, thanks! :) hope to be back soon with words
send me a number 1-166
13 notes · View notes
helioselene · 2 years
Text
user change !!!
incipientdream -> helioseline
12 notes · View notes
gauntghoul · 3 months
Text
gna go home nd pass out nd then be such a conch shell warrior 💪
1 note · View note
thesilliestofgals · 8 months
Text
Seeing the reblogs of my Rosabella Beast idea and reading the tags...!!
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
spookysweaterblog · 7 months
Note
I know you probably get this a lot but. Thank you SO much for introducing Leslie Vernon to the wild. I learned about him from you and I think a lot of people have too. I’ve watched the movie three times in three days. I bought the comic omnibus. I’m being him for Halloween. I’ve cried over him five times since monday
Tumblr media
thank YOU so much! teehee!
I love Leslie and seeing him go from rarely seen/underappreciated to finally being recognized in the slasher space is so satisfying to see
also mayhaps that is why I forced him into the billy and brahms group at first, to boost his popularity. my diabolical plan all along
243 notes · View notes
parkermunson · 2 years
Text
Eddie begging for your attention and hands.
No specific pronouns but reader wears a skirt♡ [1.5k]
TW: Smut, 18+ only!!!!! Handjob, dacryphilia, begging (obv)
A/N: This is my very first smut, please be kind! But also I'm open to suggestions. I wrote this at 2am and haven't really looked it over so mayhaps some grammatical errors are present.
~
Perhaps the warmth of the oncoming spring ignited something in you, an insatiable hunger to tease. Or perhaps a need for control. You've been teasing him all day with your subtle touching. He's barely holding it together, his breathing unsteady and labored.
Sitting next to him at Hellfire was the perfect advantage (or punishment), gliding your hand over his knee and thigh, rubbing your thumb through his jeans with slight pressure. When you felt particularly evil, your fingers would dive into the hole in jeans to drag your nails against the skin on his lower inner thigh. Eddie's eyes would flick to you immediately, unsure whether he wants you to continue or stop altogether. When his breath hitched particularly noticably, you pulled your hand away. His knee would jerk toward you, but this was just a pause to the torture. When his attention was fully invested in the game again, his mind drifting from you finally, you repeated the cycle.
By the end of the meeting, his thoughts are focused only on you and yearns for your hands to be on his, preferably bare, body. But you're having too much fun with this cat-and-mouse game.
On the ride home, you keep your attention out the passenger side window, away from him, with your hands folded in your lap. He sighs over the soft music playing on the radio, hoping it'll grab your attention, but it does little more than boost your confidence. You can feel him shifting in his seat uncontrollably, his eyes jumping between the road and studying you. He leans over and grabs your hand to hold in his, thankful to feel your warmth, even if it isn't exactly what he wants. His thumb rubs the back of your hand, reminiscent of the pattern your thumb drew on his thigh earlier.
After a few minutes like this, he realizes it isn't enough. Your bare thigh is right there, peeking out under your skirt, and his memories from the night before recall the soft feel of it against his cheek. Your attention is still focused on the passing houses outside the van and your hand is limp in his. He lets out a whine, and you smirk out the window, not breaking your facade. The van is nearing your house and he's nearing his breaking point. Eddie isn't afraid to beg when he's desperate, and your actions are hurling him toward it.
"Baby, look at me, please," he whines. You heart skips a beat at his voice. Even after hours of listening to him narrate the game, he still has the ability to melt your insides in seconds. Your eyes drift from outside to his figure in the driver's seat. He glances between the road and you with pleading eyes.
"Yes?" You bat your eyelashes innocently. After all, your grazes have barely reached anywhere sinful.
His grip on your hand tightens and his gaze is held longer on you while expertly gliding down the road. His lips part for a moment, but close again when no words come out. He's nearing that begging point, though isn't there just yet. His head turns back to the road with another sigh escaping his lips.
The moment you pull up to your driveway, you leap out of the car, leaving a very needy Eddie to follow behind. His hands slide up your waist while you fiddle with your keys in the lock. He's squeezing your hips, wrapping his arms around your torso, and breathing in your scent at the back of your neck. You arch forward the smallest bit, grinding slightly into him, egging him on just a bit more.
A whine escapes him when the lock finally clicks and you pull away. His eyes follow your ass with each step, and he follows you like a magnet. You saunter into the living room, knowing your one-man audience is locked on your every move. Stripping your shoes and jacket off, you pull your shirt out from being tucked tightly into the waistband of your skirt and lift it just high enough for Eddie to glimpse your skin. Finally, you turn to him, only to quickly look away to your television.
"So, should we watch a movie? Maybe find something on T.V.?" His shoulders drop. You think you've lost him for a moment, but then he's sliding to you in long strides, colliding his hips to yours. His eyes are wide, dark, and filled with lust. He needs your attention. He needs you.
He grabs your chin in his thumb and index finger so gently and lifts it to meet his eyes. "Please..," he begs. His hips pushing further into you so you can feel his need pushing into your lower belly. Your hands remain at your sides, knowing the smallest touch would be giving in too soon.
"What do you need, baby" you all but whisper. Your eyes bore into his, daring him. He grows harder with your eyes on him now, as if your attention in itself owns him. As if the very essence of your being is the gravity holding him here.
"Please touch me." His eyes soften at the words leaving his mouth. The voice that leaves him sounds almost breathless, a huge contrast to earlier at Hellfire. He's breaking and you're eating it up.
"I need more than that, love. You can do better," you assert. While his voice grows softer, your's becomes firmer. The confidence in you is building the more you remember your control over him. Usually Eddie is the boisterous one, with a mouth that never shuts up. Now, he can barely form words, poor baby.
He closes his eyes for a moment, as if willing himself to stay focused. His hips stay pressed to you, unmoving. He knows better than to try anything. His breathing falls heavy on your face, and his grip on your chin has a slight shake to it. He's reached that point, he's at your mercy completely.
"Please... please touch me. I'll do anything, please–" you cut his whines off with an open-mouthed kiss. The begging wasn't nearly as long as you would have liked, but your patience is wearing thin. Your hand grips the hair on the back of his head while the other slides between your bodies to cup his length. A moan hums through him, and you can feel him relax against your touch. You continue to fondle him through his jeans when you break away from the kiss for air. His eyes remain closed and his breathing is labored, practically shaking his frame with every breath.
Much to your disapproval, he bites his lip to keep silent. Your hand immediately stops its stroking, and he lets out a cry. His soft eyes find yours, knowing instantly of his mistake. "Beg," you spit. His eyes are on the verge of tears with how needy he is. He can feel how desperate his cock is with each twitch. You've barely given him a crumb, and he's treated it like a buffet.
"Baby, please, I'm begging you. I need you so badly." His eyes have glossed over, and his knees are weakening. Your hand is still lingering on the front of his crotch, the warmth of your fingers sending jolts through him. "Please touch me, I need to cum, please." His voice is gravelly, and gains strength the more he talks. You raise a brow at him as he starts to babble our pleas, yet your hand continues to remain in the same spot, unmoving.
When a tear finally falls from his lash line and streams down his blushed cheek, both your hands yank down his zipper, freeing him from his jeans and underwear in seconds. His face scrunches at the cold air meeting his heated cock. Another tear breaks free, and your tongue glides along his cheek to lap it up.
His head falls back and moans freely, pleas escaping his lips. You spit on your hand and guide it along his length, squeezing him the way he loves. When you reach his tip, your thumb flicks the underside subtly, and barely glides over his slit. He's in heaven, moving his hands to grip your hips to ground himself. Your hand begins pumping at a quickening pace, the feel of the veins rubbing against your fingertips has your mouth watering. He tries to look down at your hand moving over him but the pleasure is too much, and his eyes keep closing. You mouth at his neck, biting and sucking marks into the soft skin you can reach. The sounds running past his lips has your legs ready to buckle beneath you.
As he nears his orgasm, you speed up your hand. He's a mess of moans and begging. "Don't stop" leaves his lips, over and over like a prayer alongside your name. His eyelids are fluttering and his hips are thrusting forward to collide your hands with his pubic bone. Your hand reaches into his hair, and pulls, hard. It pushes him over and he's jerking against you as he spills against your wrist and arm. You continue stroking him as he rides out the rest of his high. His hand finds your wrist and grips it tightly, when the movement becomes too much.
"Fuck, I love it when you beg."
Tumblr media
898 notes · View notes
toasterydocs · 2 months
Text
vi — love story
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
woah, a free toastery doc!! download it HERE
love story is a 3 page, mobile-friendly doc primarily made for shipping purposes! this was created using @tragedynoir's shell template for her creator sprint! it's made up entirely of tables, so navigating it should be fairly easy! please be mindful of how much you write, as adding too much or too little can mess up the formatting! (rip bill and frank)
features :
3, 7.25" x 10.5" pages
character synopsis, basic information, extra space, and a backstory
how to use :
after downloading, you will receive a link to the template! just click on it, select "file" and then "make a copy"
be sure to change the settings so nobody can make copies of your doc! click on "share", then the settings wheel, and turn off "viewers and commenters can see the option to download, print, and copy"
terms of use :
feel free to edit however you want!
do not remove the credit.
do not copy, sell or redistribute my templates.
if you like this temp, feel free to reblog and boost my work, mayhaps ? <33
38 notes · View notes
sea-moon-star · 8 months
Text
To You || YJH
Tumblr media
Pairing: Boyf! Jeonghan x f.reader
Genre: Fluff, slight angst (barely), slice of life
WC: 1k
Summary: What does Jeonghan have up his sleeves for your date night? Him taking care of you after a long day at work by cooking Korean comfort food for you (Mayhaps pranking you!)
A/N: Thanks to Elle's Mama I made it video for being the inspiration for chef & domestic Hannie! This is as self indulgent as I could ever be. 🌊🌙⭐️
-----------------------
Y/N's POV
I had to pinch myself when I entered the house after a particularly long day of work, to the aroma of food coming all the way to the front door. Jeonghan was so busy focusing on the simmering tteokboki & ramen on the stove while he prepped for the gimbap ingredients that he didn’t even notice that I’d come home. I went upstairs and freshened up, only to come down and see him in the same position as I’d left him, with his brows furrowed in concentration as he prepared his gimbap. Earlier, he’d been chopping the veggies but now he was rolling them up carefully, as if he was on Masterchef about to impress Gordon Ramsey himself.
I chuckled to myself as I decided to lay out the table in the meanwhile, not wanting to shift his focus from the task. I put a bunch of roses inside the vase that lay in the centre of our dining table, it was our little ritual where I got him a new bouquet of roses because it was his favorite flower and it reminded us of an inside joke we had while drunk watching the bachelorette, he’s said that if he ever starred in the show, he’d win all the roses and break the competition because no man would ever stand a chance against him. Usually I wasn’t one to further boost his ego but drunk me had all but agreed wholeheartedly and since then, I’d always given him roses on date nights like this one.
As I opened the cabinet to remove a favorite bottle of red, one that he loved along with two wine glasses, I couldn’t help but get a bit distracted myself. It’s not like this was new but everytime I saw him, I couldn’t quite believe that the Angel of SVT, the man who stole the heart of Carats worldwide, Yoon Jeonghan was just standing there in our shared kitchen, making me dinner for our date night. He looked gorgeous, even as a sheen of sweat covered his forehead, a stray lock from his messy bun covered his face & he struggled to pull up his sweater sleeves to keep them from getting dirty as he cooked. I couldn’t believe this man in a bunny apron, still managed to look that sexy & that he was not a figment of my imagination but he was real, he was mine… it felt incredulous.
In my bid to not look away from him, even for a second, I failed to see that I hadn’t closed the overhead cabinet & bumped right into it. Despite the initial shock & the tiny exclamation of pain that left my lips, I felt shaked but relieved, knowing that the bottle of wine & glasses were unscatched. I had managed to hold onto them before they toppled over so there was no damage done. In the flash moment that I managed to keep the glasses & wine on the table, while steadying myself, he was there in front of me, as one hand reached above my tiny 5 foot frame to close the cabinet doors, the other hovered protectively over my head, keeping me from getting hurt again.
“Are you okay? When did you come? Why didn’t you tell me you were home?” He said, his voice laced with worry while looking me all over for any bruises. “I’m okay, it’s not a big deal. Don’t worry, I saved the alcohol, not a drop wasted!” I said, & chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Eyyy, that’s not what I’m concerned about, you know that! Look at that, you’ve grazed your head! Stay still, let me fix that, jagi." I blushed in a way that might’ve outdone the red on the table, as he traced the cut on my forehead gently with his cold fingers & despite my million protests, proceeded to put a cute animal band-aid on it.
He always kept a band-aid in his wallet, not even the first aid box, it was one of the first things I’d noticed when I’d met him. For all his aloof, savage & mischievous behavior, he was the first to come to anyone’s rescue if they were hurt, like the time Soonyoung had scratched his nose with their SVT ring & Hannie had been the one to give him the band-aid. I ended up smiling, thinking of that kind gesture as he glared at me in anger, “Yah! Where is your attention? This is no joke. What on earth has you this zoned out!? “I’m sorry, it’s not my fault that I have a visual like you as my boyfriend, it’s only human for me to get carried away.” I answered sheepishly. He tried to keep his poker face intact but I knew him too well to see the corner of his lips were turning upwards, that he was fighting the urge to smirk. “What am I going to do with you? Bubbleproof you? Sigh! The food’s getting cold, just sit down & no, I don't need your help, don't even say it. Just stay here & don’t touch anything, don’t move, don’t breathe- I’ll be back.” He said & I could swear I heard a small laugh as he went to the kitchen to bring the dishes.
I played, our song- “To you by SVT” in the background, to set the mood for our date as he gave me a plateful of food & gestured at me to begin eating. He wanted me to take the first bite & tell him how it tasted so I abided. I eagerly reached out for the gimbap, my favorite item. But when I bit into it, I tasted a mouthful of carrots, Han & I both hated carrots so it was quite the sight to see as I forcefully tried to stuff down the gimbap while he laughed his ass off. “How dare you!? Jeonghan!!” I screamed as I gulped some wine to wash down the taste. “You’re one to talk, you’re the one who gave me a heart attack a while earlier, this is just an equalizer.”
I pouted, accepting my defeat, knowing this was just his way of showing his care & affection. I’d signed up for this, not just the visuals or the kindness, but the pranks too, I loved him for all of it. “You win, Hannie-1, Y/N-0. Happy?” I replied, a smile on my face because I’d eat as many of these carrot filled gimbaps if it put a grin on the face of the man I loved the most.
THE END. 🌊🌙⭐️
77 notes · View notes
vaguerantingrat · 2 months
Text
Ok, I have a scruple. I was perfectly aware going into Ducktales 2017, there would be some changes, perhaps some inconsistencies with with certain beloved characters.
HOWEVER Lauchpad is an actual mechanic!!!!!!!!!
In Ducktales 2017 season 2 episode 20: "The Golden Armory of Cornelius Coot!" We get some admittedly funny moments and, on the whole, I gotta appreciate Della and Launchpad butting heads. Also yeah, the hamster turbo boost was kinda funny, but seriously?!
In season 1, episode 29 Darkly Dawns the Duck - Part 1, Launchpad was not only running an entire plane hangar, he singlehandedly built the Thunderquack! Mayhap I am reading too far into a cartoon, but look at the evidence! We often see Launchpad working on the Thunderquack in the series and no, he is never patching it up with bubblegum, thank you very much.
Most of DW's gadgets, as we've seen, tend to come from SHUSH, but the Thunderquack was all Launchpad. Personally, I'd have liked to see some of that underrated and unexpected genius side of this amazing character in the 2017 Ducktales.
Tumblr media
Quick doodle of Launchpad cause I feel bad just posting a rant.
27 notes · View notes
plothooksinc · 5 months
Note
Assuming you don't have an excess of NRFTW prompts already, mayhaps a missing scene of Mikey confronting Leo about that "Don't kill yourself for a corpse" line? Because I just *know* he had a lot of feelings about that, diversion or no. 👀👀
Me: That should be pretty straightforward Me: ...only now I want to address some other stuff, so-- /17 pages later
The Jupiter Jim figurines that April had put on the bedside stand were gone, replaced by a tray of Mikey’s paints, and Draxum’s (lab? Secret lair? He insisted it wasn’t a castle--) place was dead silent.
They were moving today. Donnie had declared their new residence-to-be hygienically and structurally sound enough to begin the shift over, but Leo was still benched. And Mikey was also benched—unfairly, as far as he was concerned, but Draxum had pushed for him to stay out of the heavy lifting.
(“There’s being able to lift a pound or two, and there’s being able to shift furniture and boxes. It’s a world of difference,” the old goat had said patiently. “Yes, you’re doing much better, but don’t try your luck.”
“But I can use my chains, they won’t weigh—”
“Ahhh, yes. Your chains. With your mystic energy. And what have we said about using your mystic energy?”)
Donnie had told him outright to be thankful he had an excuse to sit this out. But it was Raph who mollified him by pointing out that leaving Leo here entirely on his own probably wouldn’t be the greatest of ideas. Both because he was still hurt and might need help, would be feeling kind of useless and in need of morale—and because a lonely and bored Leo was often a dumb Leo, and if he would listen to anyone and just stay put, it was gonna be Mikey.
And fair. Sometimes Leo definitely required a Delicate Touch.
Today, he’d apply one of a different kind.
Leo’s shell was a mess of fibreglass patches and newly sealed cracks still fragile in some places—Donnie had come up with a thin protective cover for the bulk of them, but the whole look wasn’t pretty and his brother was self-conscious about it. Not that he’d said as much, but the fact that he pulled the blanket right up over it even when it was warm spoke volumes.
Also, Mikey’s fingers itched every time he looked at it. He wanted to make it look awesome. Hence--
“Give me some suggestions?” Leo said. “You’re the artist.”
“Could do a cool dragon?”
“Mmm. Yeah.”
Well, that was noncommittal. He thought Leo would like a dragon. Mikey frowned. “You know I’ll paint whatever you want. I don’t care what it is.”
Leo chuckled. “Well, that’s way open to abuse.”
“I’m serious!”
“Hmm.”
And he was quiet again. This time, Mikey frowned at him. Was it time for morale boosts already? It seemed a bit early--
“Hey.”
“Mmm, yeah, I’m thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
“Thinking abooout… how I can abuse your mad painting skills?”
“Leo.”
“Seriously, what if I got you to draw, like, a terrible cartoon of Barry falling off a roof or something.”
“...really?”
“You did say anything.”
Mikey narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “I mean sure, if that’s what you really want.” Though it was such a cheap shot he didn’t think Leo even tried with that one; it felt more like misdirection. “Didn’t know you were so obsessed with him you wanted a reminder painted on you, but—”
“Oh pizza supreme, ew.” Leo shuddered, mashing his face into the pillow. “When you put it like that—”
“So what are you thinking about?”
“Rude.”
“Answer the question, Leon.”
“Ruder. No privacy. Maybe I’m thinking that I miss pizza.”
“You get some tomorrow.”
“What about now?” he whined.
“Leo?”
“Miguel.”
“Do you not want me to paint your shell?” Leo hesitated, and Mikey squinted at him. “We don’t have to.”
“...it’s not that,” Leo muttered, muffled by the pillow. “I do, but…”
Time to pull out the big guns. He flopped onto the bed next to him, offering his best puppy eyes and trembling lip when Leo shifted to face him. “Do you think I’ll do a bad job?”
“What?” Leo pulled back a little, looking panicked. “Of course not! You’re amazing, I just—”
Mikey grinned at him cheerfully. And then stuck his tongue out for good measure.
“—who taught you how to weaponise that, seriously.”
“You did.”
Leo swallowed a laugh. “Okay, okay. Fine. Give me your hand.”
“Huh?”
His brother held out a hand, beckoning, and Mikey obliged him by taking it. Leo instantly turned his hand over, pushing gently along the joints. “That hurt?”
...oh. That’s what was going on. It said a lot that Mikey hadn’t even thought about injury stress; his arms had been behaving themselves for days now. It was possible, he guessed.
On the other hand, he hadn’t painted in weeks. He missed it. And he wanted Leo to like his shell. So he pulled back, deliberately shaking his hands out and wiggling his fingers, smiling wryly as Leo winced. “Promise I’m good. In more ways than one, baby!”
“Yeah, but what if it starts hurting halfway through?” Leo made a face. “Then I’ll be stuck with half a dragon or something and probably, like, the lamer part. There’ll be a dragon’s ass on my shell and everyone’ll make fun of me.”
Mikey sighed, seeing the whining for the thinly disguised concern it was. It was touching, but he could feel the annoyance starting to bubble up. Of all of them, Leo was the one that generally didn’t baby him. He managed a smile. “We do that already.”
“Shh, let me live in denial. Anywhizzle--”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t ready,” he said, sharper than he intended. (Probably because that wasn’t entirely true—okay, he hadn’t given any thought to it before this, but after reflection, he was pretty sure--)
“You sure about that?”
Leo said it...lightly. For the most part.
Maybe Mikey just imagined the strain underneath, or maybe it was because he was already riled, but the doubtful look on his brother’s face made him bristle defensively. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What?” Leo paused. “Nothing, I’m just kidding around.”
“You sure about that?”
And this time Leo frowned at Mikey’s mocking tone and shifted gingerly to face him more directly, hugging a pillow to his chest. “Whoa, okay, I honestly didn’t mean anything by it, I’m just… making sure.”
“Why?”
“...you seriously have to ask?”
“Yeah, actually,” Mikey said flatly, fingers tapping a rhythm on the protective sheet. He just wanted to paint. “I’m more than okay. I’m fine, Leo.”
“Annnd you’ve said that before.”
“I—” He paused.
(“Fine! Just fine. You?”
“Fine. Just fine.”)
Again, oh.
(“You’re both liars and I don’t see why you bother.”)
Mikey let a breath out. Sure, okay. He still felt tetchy about this, but Leo had a point. But it took two to have that conversation, and if they were gonna talk about recklessness--
--and oh, for the third time. He got it now, why he was so hair-trigger irritated. There was a ninja damned elephant in the room.
One thing at a time.
“It’s just painting,” Mikey said finally, voice even. “It’s not like I’m using any kind of mystic mojo and I can stop any time it starts to hurt. I can paint something that can be done in pieces, no dragon asses necessary.”
Leo blinked at him, and then mustered up a lopsided smile. “I dunno. What if dragon asses are my thing?”
He could take that offer for what it was; Leo attempting to walk their conversation back from an edge. For a moment, Mikey was tempted. He just wanted to do something nice for his brother and artistic and prove he could still--
Still paint. He could. He had no trouble at dinner, no trouble lugging Dad’s casserole, and now Leo was making him second guess himself when Leo was absolutely the biggest hypocrite in the room for this kinda thing.
“...Angelo?”
And man, now his brother wouldn’t even let him second guess himself in peace! Rude. He leaned forward to rummage through his paints, voice flat. “What.”
“...hey.” Hesitant and soft. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, belittle you, that’s not what this is about.”
“That’s a big word for you.” As soon as he said it—heard the snap of his words leave his mouth—Mikey cringed. Especially as Leo stilled on the bed, then sank down into the pillows again, face blank. Okay, he didn’t deserve that. If Mikey didn’t want to be babied, he shouldn’t be a brat.
So he gave an overly long, dramatic Mermista-style groan and flopped back down on his back next to his brother. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m just… I’m frustrated. It’s been a while. And you were the last person I expected this from!”
“I get it,” Leo said quietly. “You got stuck here on babysitting duty, you’re already feeling left out.”
“That’s not it. Well, not all of it.” He hesitated, stretching his hands up to link behind his head, voice innocent. “Um… I was so caught up in the euphoria of being able to paint your shell that for a minute I lived in a world where mystic backlash didn’t exist…?”
There was a long moment of silence.
And then Mikey grinned a little as Leo raised his head to glare at him. “You did not just apple juice meme at me.”
“I sure did, Leon. Whatcha gonna do about it?”
“Ask you nicely to brain yourself with a pillow,” Leo said grumpily. “I’m keeping count, you know.”
“Oh, I bet.”
They lay there in companionable silence.
“I was looking forward to it, too.” Leo said after a while. “I mean, I even let you put the sheet down. It’s only after that we—look, we both forgot, okay? And then I panicked, because I’m not meant to forget that kind of thing. What if you get hurt because I encouraged you?”
“Hmm.” Okay, that was a fair, kind of dumb but standard Leo reaction. “I kind of get it, except for the part where you’re not responsible for my life choices.”
“Yeah, but I’m enabling them. Raph would—”
“Raph would get exasperated at me for pulling a dumb stunt! This isn’t like… being out fighting bad guys and for some reason your plan means I have to hurt myself painting.”
“Close enough,” Leo said, barely audible.
Mikey shifted up onto his elbows, looking at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry, what? Did I hear that correctly?”
“Mmf.” Leo dropped his face back into the pillow. “Sorry. Forget it, I’m just—”
“Oh no, we are not forgetting it, son.” Mikey sat back up again, folding his arms like a disapproving parent. “Seriously? Are we doing this now?”
“Can we go back to the part where you were going to paint, like, something easy and—”
“Hell no. Leo.” Mikey poked him in the shoulder-- the good one, because he wasn’t a complete jerk. “I don’t remember any point where you had a say in my portal choices. Oh, wait! Yes I do! And your say was dumb and I ignored it—”
Leo blinked at him, baffled. “You-- what? I never—”
“Aha!” Mikey pointed at him triumphantly. “You can’t have it both ways. Either you’re responsible or you’re not, which is it?”
“No, I’m seriously lost,” Leo said blankly. “Putting aside the whole responsibility or feeling guilt or whatever, I get it, we’ll come back to that (maybehopefullynever) but when did you ignore me? I don’t remember saying anything to you about portals.”
For a moment, Mikey was just. Speechless. Because he could infer two things from that, and he hated both of them. One, that Leo had absolutely talked about his portals, just not with him. And two…
“You don’t remember,” he said, irritation shifting into genuine anger. His voice rose with every word. “The warehouse? That cheap action hero line you threw at me while you were hanging like so much netted roadkill? ‘Doesn’t ring a bell?’ Seriously!?”
Recognition dawned on Leo’s face, and he mouthed something silently—a sentence that he recognised because it had been on Mikey’s mind, on and off, that he’d muttered to himself in the bathroom sometimes, that he couldn’t decide whether it was a cool line or something Leo needed to be slapped for, and that he’d decided to maybe just try and let it go until Leo--
--did this. Forgot it.
Like it didn’t matter.
Don’t kill yourself for a corpse.
“Mikey,” Leo said faintly, and a helpless, placating smile twitched at the corners of his mouth for a moment before it faded under Mikey’s glare. “That was just stalling.”
“Was it?”
“Yes!” he snapped. “That wasn’t a-- I thought you knew! Do you really think I’d just encourage you to throw my life away when help was very clearly gonna be on the way?”
Annnd there it was. Because yeah, actually. Leo had put his finger on it precisely without meaning to, and Mikey surged up off the bed. “You’ve done it before, Leo! Once is maybe stalling, but this is a pattern, and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa—”
“Don’t whoa whoa whoa me!” Mikey bared his teeth. And his next words were pitched high and dramatic, hand to forehead. “’Don’t kill yourself for a corpse!’ ‘Casey, when I get to the other side, close that door!’ Actually yeah, now that I think about it, if you hadn’t been such a dumbass, I—”
Oh.
Oh, shit, way too far. Leo flinched as if struck, but he stayed staring at Mikey, eyes dark and shoulders hunched. Making himself small like he deserved it, when Mikey had been trying to point out his arms weren’t his responsibility. Good job, going the exact opposite direction.
“...fuck,” he whispered.
In a perfect world, Leo would blackmail him with threats to tell Raph about his swearing at this point. But his big brother said nothing, watching him in deathly silence.
Mikey covered his face. He was angry. He’d crossed a line. And for a long, yawning moment, he held still, hoping Leo would—snap back at him, or shove him off the bed, or be just as much a jerk back, like he’d been with Raph before the invasion, or that time at the pizzeria, or--
It was so quiet.
Oh, pizza supreme. “Leo,” he said, muffled into his hands. “I’m--”
Leo laughed, and Mikey snapped his head up in mix of confusion and dread, because that was not the correct response. But Leo’s giggling was brittle, and while he was lounging on the pillows like he was so entertained, he was staring past Mikey like he wasn’t there. Something curdled in his gut. “Leo…?”
“You can’t have it both ways, mi hermano,” Leo said, and his tone was so absolutely curated smartass that Mikey cringed. “Either I’m responsible or I’m not, which is it?”
“Don’t,” Mikey said tightly, “Throw my words back at me.”
“Why not? Seems to be a common thing today.”
“You know it’s not what I meant!”
“Seems we got a lot of that going around, too.”
Leo’s humour faded—what there was of it—and now he just looked tired. He shifted awkwardly onto his side to face away from Mikey. “Sorry,” he muttered. “You’re gonna have to tell Raph you weren’t the best choice for the whole morale thing. He’ll understand.”
Words chosen to hurt. They lost their bite when delivered so expressionlessly, and Mikey swallowed against a stupid, stupid desire to cry, because now he was angry and frustrated and guilty and a little heartbroken, and dammit, this was so important, he couldn’t let it slide, but he…
...kinda got why Raph and Leo were at each other’s throats all the time.
He wasn’t going to be the same.
“I have three doctorates,” he muttered.
And waited. For Leo to snort, to cut him down and say sure, and I have a medical degree. With stickers. Which makes it better than yours.
But Leo said nothing. After a moment, he hitched the blanket up to wrap over his shell again, and that felt more like a dismissal than anything else.
Mikey curled his hands into fists. Clenched them hard, just because he could. Because it didn’t hurt anymore, not like before. “I have three doctorates,” he repeated flatly, “And I probably should be taking my own advice, huh. You want more words thrown back at you? I’m not yelling at you because I’m mad. I’m—I’m freaking terrified, Leo! Because you nearly died like three times in the last couple weeks, and two of those times you just kind of… leaned right into it, and I don’t—don’t want there to be a fourth time—”
“You think I do?”
Leo’s response was barely audible, but his head had tilted back just enough for Mikey to know he was paying attention. And man, it was getting harder not to just burst into tears, but then Leo would probably either have to shift into comfort mode (and everything would get derailed) or he’d ignore Mikey entirely and that would feel worse. He compromised by flopping back onto the bed, curling up against Leo’s blankets, and found his voice again. He’d say what he had to say first.
“I don’t know,” he said softly. “That’s why, okay? I just—you just seem to keep going for the option that gets you dead lately. You can’t do that to us.”
“I mean, apparently I can,” Leo murmured bitterly. “Seeing as I’ve done it twice.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “That’s not funny.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“...I don’t know what I want you to say, either.” Nothing felt right.
“Okay, here’s a start,” Leo said flatly. “If you think I’m trying to throw my life away—”
“No!”
“If you don’t think that, what exactly are you accusing me of?”
“I’m not! I’m—” His voice cracked, and Mikey bit off another curse under his breath. And then went fuck it and vanished into the cool dark of his shell, so he wouldn’t have to stare at Leo’s back any more. So Leo wouldn’t turn and catch his tears that were falling without his permission because he cried at the drop of a hat and--
“I’m just scared.”
There was a pause, and a creak of the bed. And a long silence.
Mikey sniffled as quietly as he could.
Another creak.
Then Leo’s voice sounded closer, a little more gentle.
“I had a nightmare about you.”
He blinked. That wasn’t what he expected.
“Uh-- I kind of know?” He remembered the details vividly enough-- the warehouse, Sister Krang snapping his neck, way awful. But this was after the warehouse, so--
“Raph told you?” Leo said in confusion. “I mean, I never gave him the details...”
--that wasn’t right. Mikey peered out from his shell to see Leo peering back, and his brother gave him a tiny smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was encouraging. “No, I, um… remember how we mind melded at the warehouse? It kind of stuck around during all your fever dreams.”
“Oh.” Leo frowned. “I don’t really remember those.”
“Good,” Mikey said fervently. “Don’t. They’re awful.”
“Heh. Sorry.”
“Not your fault.” He sank back into his shell, but he felt a little better. Leo wasn’t being so cold. He hated it when Leo was cold. “So this was another dream…?”
“...yeah. It was a while ago, right after you showed me your arms that first time. Before… Raph.”
Oh, right. Before everything went to hell. (Again. Hah.)
“I dreamt about you opening the portal,” Leo went on quietly, “And you were trying to save me, and you kind of… just broke apart. Shattered to pieces. And I had to watch that, and the portal closed, and I-- I was stuck and you were—”
Oh.
(If he had a nickel for every time he’d thought oh in the last ten minutes--)
“I didn’t want to be there, Mikey. I promise, I really, really enjoy, you know, being alive. I love you guys! I’m not secretly harbouring a death wish, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was a lot quieter.
“But that terror—it goes both ways, you know?”
He felt Leo lay hands on his shell and try to lift him into a hug.
Which was… very sweet until reality kicked in and he popped back out in alarm just in time to see his big brother go pale.
“Oh my god, Leo!” He scrambled out fully, wiping at his face before he helped Leo settle back, and he couldn’t help the faintly hysterical giggle. “You really are a dumbass.”
“...I did it on purpose to get you to come out…?” Leo’s voice was wheezy, and he gave Mikey a watery smile.
“Liar.”
“Okay, you got me.” He wilted against the pillows. “But not about the important stuff, okay?”
“Idiot,” Mikey muttered without heat. He patted at Leo’s shoulder. “Need meds?”
“...nah. It’s actually not too bad, I just need a minute.”
“Okay.” He paused. Argument maybe averted, but… he wasn’t done. He could just do this a little less meanly. Especially if Leo was willing to talk to him.
“I do believe you,” he said after a moment, because that was important.
“Okay, good.”
“So… you did the whole heroic cool death wish line because you were scared I was gonna get hurt?”
Leo huffed in amusement, but his tiny smile faded. “Mostly, yeah. I was trying to buy you time. And my first attempt just got you hurt more, so… I went the rage route.”
Oh yeah. Leo asking for permission to treat his wounds. That had gone poorly, to say the least. Mikey smiled weakly. “Well, you picked a winner. I got so mad at you.” He still was, but it felt a little better, to pick at this.
“Yeah, well, the Bubblegum Bitch ran on murder and spite. I figured she’d love to see us screaming at each other. And…”
He hesitated.
“And?” Mikey prompted.
Leo closed his eyes. “I didn’t think I could handle watching you open a portal to... that place. Not with the damage it did the first time. Not ever again because of me. I’m not the only one who nearly died here, y’know.”
Mikey frowned. “I didn’t—”
“Don’t try that with me, Mikey.”
He shut his mouth with a snap. Took a deep breath, because he wasn’t going to yell again, and this was… a softer kind of hurt. He got it. He was starting to get Leo. So he had to continue.
“You think I could handle watching you die because I didn’t open one?” He was proud of how even his voice was. Hah. The doctor was back in session. “You said it yourself, terror goes both ways. Stalling can only go so far. By definition!”
“Okay, at this point we’re gonna end up going in circles,” Leo said dryly. “They’re both valid points, okay? But if you can understand why you risked your life in there, can you get why I’d do the same?”
“...because we’re both idiots?” he muttered.
Leo snorted a faint laugh. And Mikey finally grinned at him, before sobering. Because…
“What about before?”
Leo’s face shuttered blank so fast he almost regretted asking.
Almost.
Especially as the look broke a moment later under a lazy smile, which set his teeth on edge. “You’re gonna have to narrow it down a bit, little bro.”
Okay. If he was gonna be like that.
“Mhm, mm-hmm.” Mikey nodded, shifting enough to sit cross-legged on the bed, and pretended to write into a notebook. “Patient very sensitive on this subject, a little too late on deflecting comment and accompanying I am full of shit smile…”
“Oh, for-- you can’t doctor me, you don’t have your stupid doctor glasses.”
“Patient deflecting more… by making… immersion-breaking jokes—” He broke off and mimed looking over a pair of imaginary glasses at Leo and grinned cheekily through the churning in his gut. Two could play at this game. “All our stuff is packed. You’re gonna have to pretend, bro.”
“I don’t want to,” Leo said flatly, smile gone. “I’m not in the mood for imaginary doctors today. Can’t you just be Mikey?”
“I don’t know, can I?” Mikey retorted, voice still even. Never mind he probably still had drying tear tracks on his face. “Because apparently you can’t talk to Mikey.”
“I can talk to you just fine!”
“Without babying me.”
“I’m not—”
“Or lying. You know exactly what ‘before’ I’m talking about! I mean, how often do you throw yourself through one way portals, anyway?”
“As Dee would say, approximately never, because I can honestly say I’ve never thrown myself through a one way portal in my—”
Mikey slammed his hand down on the bedside stand so hard his paint bottles shook, two of them outright teetering and falling off the edge. Leo flinched back, sentence unfinished, his expression frozen somewhere between jackass and terrified.
“Really?” he hissed. “You’re gonna deflect now by splitting hairs?”
Leo blinked, mouth still hanging open for a moment before he collected himself. “Very professional observation,” he said faintly, voice shaking. “You should write that down in your imaginary notebook! Also, I’m pretty sure therapists aren’t meant to terrify their patients. You could lose your imaginary license and then where would we be?”
Mikey stared at him, face dark and arms folded. “And now you’re deflecting by pissing me off.”
Leo held his stare for maybe three seconds before he broke and rolled away—gingerly, clearly painfully—to face the wall again. “’m sorry. I really just wanna… I don’t know. Get my shell painted. Can we talk about this some other day?”
Mikey sucked in a breath, loudly and obnoxiously, because he wanted Leo to know he was angry. Then he rolled to collect the bottles that had fallen to the floor. The red one hadn’t been closed properly and he winced at the flecks on Draxum’s carpet. Maybe they could claim it was blood. He’d probably be less outraged, all things considered.
He knew as well as Leo there would be no other day. If this didn’t get talked about now, he’d be looking forward to Leo making sure they weren’t in the same room alone together for weeks. He was angry enough he wondered spitefully for a moment if he should beat him to it and ignore his lying ass like a--
...like a wound up little brother who was easily riled by someone who knew exactly which buttons to press. Sure, Leo would feel like shit about it, but Leo would also be relieved. Dodged that therapist bullet, right? Enough time would pass it would be too hard to bring up again.
Until the next time he pulled this stunt. (Leo wasn’t a cat, he didn’t have nine freaking lives--)
“Was there really no other way?” he asked bluntly.
Leo hunched in on himself with a faint hiss, and Mikey sat there behind him, his arms full of paint, and wondered how far to push. He wanted to know. Leo had said there was no death wish, and Mikey believed him about his reasoning in the warehouse. If it wasn’t for how Leo shut him down immediately when he asked more directly, he’d have let this go. There was something he was missing.
He had to push the right way, though. Demanding answers from a traumatised person was, okay, maybe not the best strategy? And Leo was absolutely traumatised, no matter how many shit eating grins he’d thrown over the last few weeks while being half dead. (And then half dead again.) He’d come back out of Mikey’s portal a complete mess and hadn’t talked about it since. Krang Prime had been terrifying before his only target had been his brother.
And Leo had deliberately locked himself in with a murderous alien because…
Hero moves are totally your style.
...because that’s what heroes do?
Bullshit.
“How’s your hand?”
Leo’s question took him by surprise—and hurt besides, with how colourless his tone was. Mikey frowned at him before he looked down at his hands, and—right. Probably losing his temper and hitting furniture wasn’t very, uh, wise. But he flexed his fingers, answering in a subdued voice. “Fine.”
...he had an idea. Take a page out of Leo’s book, lure him in with less threatening subjects. Mikey paused, biting his lip, knowing this could also backfire-- but if it did, it would be less devastating than the direct route. He could try again later.
So he sighed. “And… fine. I’ll let it go.”
“For now, huh.”
“...forever, if you need me to. I just—wanted to understand,” he said, turning away to start stacking the paint bottles neatly on the dresser again. “I know we weren’t there to help, and I’m sorry—”
“Do not apologise for that,” Leo cut in sharply. “You got slammed into free fall and nearly died. What kind of jerk do you think I am?”
“But Raph had to come after us and you were alone.” And that hurt to remember. His hands trembled. “And then you didn’t even warn us. You didn’t even say goodbye. You just jumped straight to—”
“There wasn’t time for anything else,” Leo whispered. “At least, I didn’t think there was. Okay?”
--that was progress. Mikey leaned forward eagerly, ready to push for more detail-- and then hesitated. He’d just said he would let it go.
So he made himself shut up and sit there quietly, hands in his lap, fingers curled inward so he didn’t fidget.
And waited.
“...Yeah, I keep thinking now about other stuff I might have been able to do,” Leo said finally. “And like, it’s all maybes and what ifs and maybe none of it would have worked and maybe some of it would have, but there wasn’t any time, and I’m not-- I mean, it’s easy to come up with stuff after. I still don’t know if I could have made a better choice. Okay? I just did… I did what I had to. It wasn’t some grand gesture or, like, ‘oh no, this is all my fault, I’ll throw my life away to fix it,’ it was-- we’d never get another chance, and I couldn’t live with what would happen if we lost.”
Right, so there was a lot to unpack there.
“You think the invasion is your fault?” he asked cautiously.
“Not… really,” Leo said, and Mikey wished he’d turn around again so he could see his brother’s face. “Like, you know, I get it. The Foot and the Krang are more to blame for this than me, but I was stupid. So there’s fault, and then there’s responsibility. If I hadn’t messed around and lost the key, maybe it wouldn’t have gotten this far. But I guess I don’t know that for sure?”
That sounded very much like someone had already had a go at him about this. His money would be on Donnie. What Mikey wanted to know, though, was whether Leo really meant it or whether he was just rattling off someone else’s argument.
“You also got the key back,” he pointed out, and Leo snorted.
“Yeah,” he said flatly. “At Raph’s expense.”
Mikey winced-- okay yeah, wrong tack to take. There was a lot he could say there about the fact that Raph was also capable of making his own choices, and he already knew Raph would prefer the whole temporary possession and scarred eye and shell over a dead brother. Just as he knew he would never, ever convince Leo of that, because they were all the same in that regard. It was hard, watching someone get hurt trying to protect you.
So hard. Mikey knew.
“Did you…” He paused, swallowed. Curled up on the bed itself, his shell to Leo’s, knees up to his chest. Maybe this was easier. “Did you think you had to make up for it? Is that why?”
He wasn’t sure if Leo’s soft huff of amusement was a good or a bad sign. “I already said. No death wishes.” His tone was more gentle than cutting, so that was hopeful. “Not on the alien ship, not in the warehouse. Just let it go.”
That wasn’t actually an answer to the question. Guilt could make you do so much stupid shit, and Leo still wanted him to drop it, which means there was more to this--
I couldn’t live with what would happen if we lost.
Mikey blinked.
“I need an oh jar,” he muttered.
“...yeah, because that makes sense.”
“Leo,” Mikey said evenly. “What did Casey say to you?”
There was a brief silence, and then Leo responded with genuine confusion. “Okay, that one you really are gonna have to narrow down—”
“About the future he came from.”
And from the way he heard Leo’s breath stutter to a halt, Mikey had his answer.
---------
He waited. Long enough to hear Leo unfreeze, breathing slow with just the faintest hint of shakiness. Long enough that he finally evened out, and Mikey kept still while he did it, not even touching him, back to back. He wanted to-- wanted to kind of turn and latch onto Leo and hug him, but from this angle he’d end up hurting a whole lot more than he’d help, so… in the end, he just gave him space.
Somewhere down the hall, one of Draxum’s clocks chimed.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Dumb question.”
“Hmm. Yeah, okay, I’ll give you that one. Will you please talk about it?”
“What’s the point?” Leo was barely audible. “It’s over now, not gonna happen. We just need to look after the one person it did happen for.”
“I think Casey’d disagree.”
“Casey has enough on his plate.”
“Well, he’s not here right now anyway. If there’s no point, why don’t you tell me?”
“Already covered that I don’t want to.”
The thing is, just by not telling him, Leo had basically confirmed for Mikey some pretty obvious key factors. This time he deliberately quashed the irritation at the thought of being babied. He got it. He did.
“So,” he said slowly, eventually, “I’m gonna assume you’re trying to protect me. Or us. From horrible, terrible, no good, bad future knowledge. Am I right?”
Leo’s silence was confirmation enough.
Mikey took a deep breath. Okay. He had it now. He hoped. (He also didn’t hope, because it was so bleak, but--)
“You know,” he said quietly, voice deliberately oh so casual, “When someone, like, drops in from some futuuure timeline—add reverb—to change the course of history, it kinda means that whichever future he came from is a lost cause. That much is obvious, you know?”
Silence.
Mikey sat up, glancing down at the huddle that was his brother.
“I know Donnie dies,” he said, and watched Leo flinch. He knew how Donnie died. That part, he would leave out just in case. “Raph woulda died before all of us. April—”
He stopped. The point was made and he was being cruel enough already. “I know I was still there at the end. So were you. Because we were the ones who sent him here.”
“Yeah,” Leo said quietly. “You opened a portal through time. Pretty amazing, bro.”
He smiled at that, a little sadly. “I know, right?”
“Be more amazing if you’d survived doing it.”
He’d figured as much, but hearing it still sent a sliver of nausea through him. And if Leo had known that much, the nightmares about Mikey shattering would just have been icing on the cake. And--
And--
“Everyone died,” he said, eyes wide. “Everyone. Except you.”
The way Leo tried to curl into himself at that could not be healthy for his injuries. This time Mikey did reach out, both hands patting at his brother’s shoulder tentatively before he latched on, trying to discourage the pretzeling. “Lee—”
“I know.”
“It didn’t happen!”
“I know!” Leo snapped. “Because I made sure it couldn’t!”
Mikey let go-- half startled by the outburst, half taken by surprise when Leo threw him off, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Also not a good idea because Leo had barely managed standing earlier, so what the hell he thought he was doing-- but apparently he was content to sit on the edge of the mattress, using his good arm to keep himself propped up, his entire body curled away from his little brother.
Well. Too bad. Mikey crawled over the bed to sit next to him. And when Leo didn’t move away again, he huffed and wormed his way under that arm, offering a better support. Leo was rigid against him, but he didn’t flinch or try to push him away, so.
Win. Such as it was.
“I get it,” Mikey whispered.
“I didn’t want you to.”
“Yeah… I don’t get that part.”
“Because it’s—” Leo broke off, darting a look at him before he turned away. “It’s all I could think of. I made a big speech about how we could change the future after all, and then when you guys got knocked down, all I could think was that we’d tried so hard, and we still lost, and—and I thought-- I wasn’t thinking. I mean I was, but it was stupid and—”
He hadn’t heard Leo stammer around the point like this in a long time, and Mikey tipped his head against his shoulder, wrapping his arms around Leo’s. “s’not stupid, bro. Like—it’s a high stress situation, y’know? D’you think me or Donnie or Raph were coming up with super logical plans while we were raining into Staten Island? You know how that place drains your smarts away.”
That got a laugh out of Leo, at least, a half hiccupped one, and he shifted a little closer. He didn’t relax; Mikey could feel the tension practically vibrating through him, and he knew what was coming. He could probably cut to the chase now and sum it up for Leo in points so he didn’t have to.
He waited. It was better that way.
“I just...didn’t.” Leo said finally. “Didn’t—want to go through that. You know, I wasn’t being heroic or a martyr or whatever, I was being a coward, okay? Because Casey told me everyone died in the future—everyone—and I thought: if we lose here, I’m gonna have to live that future. You know, twenty years in a war we’re gonna lose so slowly, watching everyone die one by one until I’m the only one left, and I was terrified and I can’t—I can’t, Mikey, if it’s a choice between me and literally everyone else, you can’t ask me to watch everyone die—”
And his voice cracked and Leo shut up, and Mikey carefully shuffled up onto his knees and curled his arms around his brother’s neck and held on. Leo planted his face in the crook of Mikey’s neck, shoulders trembling.
But when he spoke, his voice was small, but very dry. “This is gonna be real painful in about thirty seconds, just warning—”
“Then shut the hell up and get back on the bed, idiot.”
Leo sniffled, voice even tinier. “Yes, Dr Therapist, sir.”
“Good boy.”
“Don’t tell the others?”
“Doctor patient confidentiality.”
“’kay. Good.”
Leo turned away, shuffling back onto the bed to collapse onto the pillows. Mikey hovered, not really sure what to do next. Did he leave him alone? Give him space? He’d normally just drape himself on Leo’s shell, but that wasn’t exactly a good idea, so--
The question was answered for him when Leo waved a hand in his general direction, looking for a limb to grab, and Mikey helpfully gave him an arm-- and was yanked down beside his brother who curled around him like he was a teddy bear, hiding his face again. Mikey wheezed, a faint mix of relief and amusement. “Oh, okay, it’s gonna be like this—”
“Shh,” Leo said, muffled and sodden-sounding. “Therapy’s over.”
The face against his neck was wet. Mikey held still for a moment, swallowing against his own tears, and then gave a small sigh, putting a hand on Leo’s head.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “I guess it is.”
---------
They lay there for a while. Mikey was perfectly content to be used as a teddy bear and kept his mouth shut, letting Leo get it out of his system, running his thumb over the ridges of the blue mask as his brother shook apart so quietly. As if he were ashamed of letting go. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was crying on his little brother. Mikey supposed that was breaking some kind of sibling hierarchy or some shit. Whatever.
He hadn’t really meant for the afternoon to go this way—it was kind of the opposite of a morale boost—but if this was the weight that his brother had been carrying around, better to deal with it now. Especially when nobody else was around to overhear.
(...he wasn’t really sure the others shouldn’t know about this. But unless it became an issue, for now, he’d do as Leo asked.)
“You’re not a coward, you know,” he said, much later. He doubted it was hours. He’d only heard Barry’s clock once. But Leo had stopped his ninja stealth crying into the crook of Mikey’s neck, so it was time.
“Mmm, ‘kay.”
“Don’t mmm ’kay me.” Mikey poked him. “I’m serious. I mean, what do you think a hero’s motivations are, anyway? They’re not doing it for the sake of looking all fancy for the camera. Or if they are, they’re not really a hero. They’re like-- that guy from Megamind, what’shisface, the Nice Guy—”
“Hal Stewart.”
“Exactly. And they don’t run around thinking, like—” He let go of Leo for a moment to air quote, even though Leo hadn’t resurfaced, not really. “’Egads, what is the most noble thing I can do at this exact point in time?’ Real heroes aren’t like… comic book heroes.”
Leo huffed a little against him. “You’re lucky I’m emotionally vulnerable right now or I’d have to throw hands.”
Mikey grinned. There he was. “Better keep you emotionally vulnerable then.”
“A supervillain move if I ever heard one.”
“That’s me, baby! I’m so lucky I have all these moral brothers to guide me to the side of the light.”
“Plus Donnie.”
“Oh yeah, plus that guy. I guess.”
This time, the huff sounded more like a laugh. Mikey snuggled in closer, gave him a moment to relax, and then made his next point, as softly as he could.
“Why do you think Raph protected you?”
He felt the jolt go through Leo at that—felt a little guilty, it was kind of an ambush—but his brother was only rigid against him for a moment before relaxing again by degrees, and Mikey was relieved. Leo’s brain was online. And when Leo answered, he sounded more confused than upset.
“Because he’s a big brother? Because he saw me screw up and he didn’t want me getting hurt?”
“Mhm, mhm. Scared for you, right? Would rather take the fall than watch you get skewered?”
“...yeah.”
Oh, the guilt laden into that word. He couldn’t do much about that, except maybe push him and Raph together to talk it out at some point. “I see. So Raph’s a coward?”
“Wait, what?” Leo pulled back to stare at him in affront, eyes swollen and mask damp and not bothering to hide it in the least. “Raph’s the bravest one here, why would you—”
“My, my. Would you look at those double standards.” Mikey tsked at him, and waited for the penny to drop. And Leo was just as smart as Donnie, in his own way; it took him a bare second to frown and lean back, squinting at him, mouth half open like he was trying and failing to come up with an argument. “It’s not cowardly to protect the people you care about. It’s, like, the opposite. You did it in a really reckless way and yeah, maybe there was a better way, but if anyone tries to accuse you of cowardice, I’m gonna throw hands. That includes you, bee tee dubs.”
Leo blinked, and Mikey could practically see the calculation flashing across his expression. He wasn’t surprised when Leo all-out pouted at him. “Oh, I see how it is. Picking on an injured turtle when he’s down.”
Mikey gave him a flat look that said I know what you’re doing.
Leo’s pout turned into a sheepish smile. “Okay, okay,” he said. “I’ll keep any such thoughts of cowardice to myself then, wallow in them when your back is turned—”
Mikey swatted at him with a glare. “You won’t think them at all! Leonardo—” And paused as Leo’s smile sharpened into a grin, his reddened eyes bright with genuine humour. “Ohhh, someone’s feeling better! Good.” He smiled sweetly back, then pushed Leo’s face away from him with a hand. “But for serious, you might be kinda dumb sometimes, but you are like. The bravest coolest brother—”
“Mmm, I still think Raph is the bravest. I humbly accept coolest, though.”
“I’ll allow it.” He watched Leo another moment, then pulled away to scramble carefully over him for the bedside table, reasonably sure the crisis was over. “You still up to painting?”
There was a pause. Leo’s face screwed up hesitantly. “...you sure? I mean, not because of your hands, but—”
“We still got time.” He flipped a paintbrush up and deftly spun it between his fingers, giving Leo a pointed look. “And I hate not finishing an art piece once I start.”
“Have we started, though?” Leo said mildly. But he was already obediently shuffling back onto his stomach, propping the pillows up beneath his elbows.
“Therapy is art.”
“I’m not sure that’s correct.”
“I’m the one with the doctorates, shush now.”
“But you’re—”
“Uh-buh-buh-buh—” Mikey settled by Leo’s side, bonking his head gently with his brush. And time for one last ambush question. “Leo. If we’d still been up there with you at the end, do you think it might have gone differently?”
To his great relief, Leo didn’t even flinch at that one—he merely tilted his head, humming thoughtfully. Mikey gave him time, fishing through his bottles until he could find the right colours to make the mix he wanted.
If he was holding his breath a little, well… that wasn’t important. Turtles could hold their breath for a very long time.
“Hard to say,” Leo said softly. “But I’d like to think so. I mean, I could barely get him through the portal on my own. But the four of us definitely had him off balance for a while there, right? If we were all still up there… I mean. Let’s face it. We’re so much stronger together.”
Mikey sighed with relief. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Leo about the death wish thing, but hearing it summed up like that made him feel a lot better. Especially when Leo frowned and twisted to catch his eye. “You better not feel guilty about that part, by the way.”
“Guilty? Nah.” He did a little, but Mikey also knew they’d done their best. “Bad that you got left on your own, yeah. We’re a team! It was hard...you know.” He smiled a little weakly. “Not being up there with you.”
“It was hard watching you fall.” Leo relaxed, letting his head drop onto the pillows. “Don’t tell him, but I was so glad when Raph got on the line, even if he was mad at me. It meant you guys had all got down safely.”
“He wasn’t mad,” Mikey pointed out.
“...I know. Bad choice of words.” Leo took a breath, sighed it out, sounding sleepy. “Scared.”
“Scary day.”
“Tell me about it. Wait, on second thought, don’t.” Leo waved a hand at him, not looking up. “Better idea. Tell me what you’re gonna paint instead.”
Yeah, time to change subject. Mikey hummed thoughtfully at him, leaning down off the bed to collect his tray. “I’m thinking… flowers.”
“Flowers, huh.”
“Yeah.” He traced dark edges of Leo’s repaired shell with the very tip of his brush, watching his brother carefully to see if it bothered him. When Leo didn’t move, he shifted back to mix paints. “They’ll be great at masking the damage, and if I have to stop for any reason, it won’t look weird. I’m thinking, hmm… marigolds, petunias… what’s a good red flower that isn’t a rose…”
Was that too pointed a comment? Probably. He grinned, counting the seconds until Leo lifted his head again, shifting to squint at him with suspicion.
“...red, orange, and purple?”
“Yeah,” he said innocently. “Great colour combo, don’t you think?”
“I feel you’re trying to tell me something.”
“Of course I am, dummy.” Mikey smiled at him. The sweetest, most sunshine smile he had at his disposal. “It’s a reminder that we’ve always got your back, no matter what.”
Leo stared back at him with an expression that was—just for a moment, probably against his will—fragile.
Then he turned sharply back away to stare at the wall, giving a snort. “More like you’re always on my back, you mush-dispenser.”
Mikey bit back his laugh at that. Leo could have that one; let him save some face, just this once. “It’s not too late for a dragon’s ass, you know.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Barry could be riding on it!”
“Mikey—”
“And throwing you off it to your doom—”
“Oh my god, that’s low, you monster—”
“Actually I think it’s high, it wouldn’t be much of a doom otherwise, c’mon, Leo, keep up.”
“I’m gonna duct tape you inside your shell and play you like bongos for a week straight.”
“Looking forward to it! I’ll mark my calendar!” But Leo was shaking with laughter now. Mikey tapped the end of the brush on his shell in warning, and Leo obligingly tried to keep still, switching to a yawn instead. “I would never, don’t worry. Tired?”
“A little.”
“Then sleep. I’ll be here. I’ll wake you when it’s done.”
“...kay.” Leo snuggled into the pillows without arguing, and his next words were heavily muffled and more a tired mumble than anything else. “Lvvyou.”
Mikey paused. Then smiled a little, putting a hand on his shell for a moment. “Lvvyou too, bro.”
“Oh, shush.”
He cackled at that, but said nothing, listening to Leo’s breaths even out.
He knew Leo pretty well—enough to wonder how much Leo still hadn’t told him, diverting with jokes and sassy comments about wallowing in cowardice. But this was a start. And a relief. If nothing else, Leo had been genuine about his motivations, both at the warehouse and at the portal. Terror and love, nothing more, nothing less. Mikey flexed his hands out, testing them one last time, looking at the fading welts still criss-crossing up his arms.
He could relate.
22 notes · View notes