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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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kimtaegis · 2 years

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an iconic look 💛 for @hobicentric

cr. namuspromised

#btsgif #dailybts #btsedit #networkbangtan #bangtanarmynet #hopenet #houseofddaeng #hobi #memories 2021 #rolling stone magazine making film #trackofthesoul #*hs #*gifs #JULIAAAAA #I JUST SAW ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!#oh lovely I wish you THE happiest most amazing day #I hope you're surrounded by just as much love and sunshine as you give us all here #I'm truly so happy you're (still!) around brightening the place up and making me smile so so much all the time #you're truly a gem and I adore you so much #I wish I would have known earlier to make something more personal/ special for you #(I'll make it up to you once I have more time on my hands again I promise)#but I absolutely love this look and I think he radiates so much positivity & fun & brightness here. perfect for someone like you #I am thinking of you a lot today. celebrating with you! happy birthday darling I love you!!

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turtleblogatlast · 2 days

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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #the prison dimension is horrifying on its own #add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is #Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there #it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo #personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension #so it’s a prison in all ways #but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really #because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile #nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him #and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual #one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that #should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination #I’m unwell about this family #actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities #but to their relationship to family and love in general #kinda like love languages in a way #Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe #Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind #Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible #and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway #like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home #even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there #and that’s enough

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itsticklishme23 · 16 days

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top of the morning to ya ☀️🌻

#i hope these flowers and a smile brightens your day ☺️#by the way im soooo sorry to anyone who’s messages I haven’t replied to yet!!#im not ignoring them I promise #ya girl just gets a little overwhelmed sometimes #but im still sending you all my love #fun fact I picked these flowers from the ground #they were calling my name #I love spring #can’t believe how beautiful our earth is #and pink dresses just make me happy 💖

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mariegreen-2000 · 6 months

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I love these little guys already

But like, seriously tho. what parent / guardian would buy this for there kids😭. Like if I was a kid and I saw these in a toy shop, I would already start crying for my mom.

#poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime #smiling critters poppy playtime #I still like them #I hope they release plushes / merch of them #but still #Playtime co what were you thinking #when you were making theses

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smallishbabes · 2 years

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The story of Techno breaking his glasses before stream.

Source: Turtle stream

Transcription under the cut

Techno: Y’know last week I was thinking to myself, “Y’know what? We’re coming up- we’re coming up on 4 million subscribers. Y’know I- I- I’m getting- y’know I’m- I’m getting- I’m getting some money when I stream.” And I was thinking, “Y’know it’s about time I indulge on some real luxuries”, chat. Get some material goods in my life. And I was thinking here, “What could I really use?” And I thought to myself, “I should get a second pair of glasses.” (Oh Phil’s here) A second pair of glasses. Because it occurred to me that I- y’know these- y’know these glasses? This very fragile device on my head that I rely on to function as a human being? I only have one of them. And so it occurred to me- it occurred to me that’s probably- that’s probably just not a good idea to only have one and no backup. So anyways, I broke my glasses two hours ago. Uh it was not good. It was not good. I’m currently- I can currently see because I taped them back to together with scotch tape. I have- I have 3.8 million subscribers and the only reason why I can do this stream is because of tape. It’s because of tape. My life is a joke.

#mcyt #dream smp #dsmp #technoblade #one of my favorites because I was laughing so hard when I heard it live and it still makes me smile #I hope you enjoy a clip while I procrastinate on working on a comp #arah’s clip #arah post

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stizzysupremacy · 4 months

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“It’s a romcom!”

their breakup has a body count, which is neither especially romantic nor particularly funny 🤷‍♀️

#man I hope certain people experience what it is to have friends whose breakup becomes everyone’s problem #let’s see if you still think they are cute together after they tear the whole group asunder with their drama #and make everyone miserable before getting back together #and then act like they did nothing wrong and invite you to their way-too-soon wedding where you have to grit your teeth and smile #knowing one of them will be crashing on your couch for a week after the inevitable divorce #if ppl choose to be optimistic and believe in their love and their ability to work things out #that’s great more power to you. just stfu to me when I point out red flags that worry and sadden me #I DIDNT ASK YOUR OPINION. I LEFT IT UNTAGGED FOR A REASON #(to be clear I do think the show is funny and has cute love stories. but definitely NOT because of the main couple. yikes)

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hcdragonwrites · 9 months

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Thunderstorm

(a @jttw-monkeybusiness inspired Drabble)

It was hot today and we have a thunderstorm warning so I wrote something really quick! Enjoy another one this one is short.

A heat wave.

It was the only way to describe the sudden shift in temperature from the last week of travel to now.

Sophie turned her head upward, blinking against the sweat rolling from her face. The last of her sunscreen had been used now, to prevent her skin from cracking beneath the sun's attention. The hat Wukong had snatched from a while back was the only protection she had against the hungry rays of light that drove knives of pain into her skin.

This is a miserable business. She could feel the beginnings of a burn on her arms, from where the sleeves of her tunic didn’t cover her wrists.

It was midday, the heat blistering against the companion's skin. Pigsy complained at every step, at every rock in the road, at every breath. He was drenched, his robes dark from his body perspiring. He waddled at the back of the group, bemoaning his pain to the point that even Sophie was beginning to feel it grate on her nerves. It wasn’t like the rest of them weren’t also suffering in this insufferable heat.

Sandy simply stayed quiet, the only sign of suffering beneath the heat was that the demon had emptied seven water skins- ones he had carried himself. Sandy was closer to Pigsy, getting the brunt of his complaints.

Wukong kept his discomfort silent from what Sophie could see except when he would pointedly look back at them from the head of the group, staring at Trip as if waiting for him to say something. When the monk just kept walking, Wukong would turn back around and look upward to the column of thunderclouds beyond.

The heat seemed to suck all the moisture from the world, sending it up into the dark clouds that were beginning to grow in the mountains ahead of the group. It was a day that promised burning warmth and teased the relief of a downpour. A storm born of the heat. At least it was a reprieve of sorts from yesterday's typical shenanigans of Tripataka being almost devoured for the seventeenth time. At least Sophie thought it was seventeen. Was it actually eighteen?

Sophie and Trip were both walking side by side in the middle of the group, leading Yulong behind. The poor dragon horses' sides were slick with sweat, the white fur turned brown with the road dust. Wukong was carrying the saddle, the great leather contraption held easily in one arm to give their silent companion some relief.

“The gods are punishing us.” Pigsy groaned, rolling his pack from shoulder to shoulder. “Maybe they are punishing us for the wanton murder Wukong had committed just a bit ago.”

Pigsy please… Sophie groaned silently, as she saw the Monkey King whip his head around, teeth bared.

“I didn’t see you helping any to save our master.” Wukong shot back. “The last I saw was you running away from that battle when you got cut by the centipede women!”

Sandy rubbed his face, just as annoyed that these two were picking now to start something.

“I thought I would die of poison!” Pigsy gallantly said, hand to the cloth bound scrap on his arm. “I did not want my fellow companions to have to protect me and save our dear Monk.”

“Centipede's poison only hurts insects and smaller beings. Not demons like you.” Wukong countered. He had paused at the head of the group to swing his gaze on the pig demon. “You just wanted an excuse to get back and have the first taste of the sake we grabbed from those merchants at the festival!”

“You know drinking is forbidden on our holy quest!” Pigsy tried to piously counter but Wukong cut him off with his words and a savage slash of his hand.

“DIDN'T STOP YOU FROM DOWNING TWO CASKS OF IT AND LEAVING US TO EXPLAIN TO THE MONASTERY WHY THEY HAD LESS SAKE!”

“Oh for Pete’s sake.” Sophie muttered quietly. She was too tired, too sticky with road dirt, to care much for the beginnings of this argument. And it was shaping to be a big one. Pigsy wanted to take out his discomfort on someone and it didn’t take much to get the Monkey Kings hackles up. Blaming him for the heat? That would rankle his pride.

Trip also looked between the two, face begging silently please not now.

“Stupid Monkey!” Spat Pigsy.

“Shitty Swine!” Snarled Wukong.

The storm clouds ahead cracked with thunder, the noise temporarily pausing the quarrel.

The monk took advantage of the pause.

“Let’s rest.” Tripataka called, wiping his own forehead free of the sweat clinging there. The monk's eyes looked just as relieved as Sophie felt at the excuse to both rest and to stop a full blown argument from starting again. This had been the third one today, and soon it would come to blows or to Tripitaka using the charm to put the Monkey King to heel.

If that could be avoided it would be in everyone’s favor to avoid it. Wukong usually sulked after such uses and he and Tripataka would get into their own argument.

Tripataka and Sophie both beelined for a small copse of trees, Yulong snorting in relief. They left their companions behind without a second thought, both of them tired and sweating. For all Pigsys complaining, he wasn’t being baked by the sun as badly as their mortal companions. Tripataka had a red patch of skin beginning to form on the back of his neck despite the protection of the hat. Sophie could feel the beginning of a blister at her heel. She hoped it wouldn’t burst.

The immortals only took a moment before they too joined the rest of their company beneath the trees. Sandy set to making tea, already propping a fire up faster then Sophie could follow with her eyes.

Pigsy simply just fell against a rock beneath the shade, complaining loudly, grousing about how hungry he was and how he had a pain in his back that may need looking at. No one paid him any heed.

Trip and Sophie dropped their packs in an unceremoniously heap. Tripataka pulled out a curry brush and passed a flat brush to Sophie who took it wordlessly and set to work.

The two humans had fallen into a habit of helping to strip down and tend to the dragon horse, both taking to brushing the flanks. When Sophie had first been asked by Trip, she had been eager and a bit apprehensive. She didn’t have much experience with horses (let alone shape shifted magical dragon ones) to be confident in this task. But Trip had smiled and taught her the basics of care- from brushing his coat to checking his hooves for rocks that could threaten lameness, and bring discomfort.

“You're a patient teacher Trip.” Sophie had said.

“Thank you. It was actually Wukong who taught me to tend to Yulong.” The horse had nipped fondly at the sleeve of the monk in thanks.

“Wukong?” That surprised her. “He knows about horses?”

“Before he rebelled against Heaven he had been given the position of Stablemaster. It was his duty and job to tend to the celestial beasts of Heaven. He showed me what to do to take care of Yulong.” Trip rubbed at the horse's poll, earning a happy snort from the dragon horse. “You should ask him about it! He has seen so many fabulous beasts in the Heavenly stables to rival any lord or Emperor of earth.”

Of course Sophie had. She had bothered and questioned and asked everything she could of the Monkey King about what the Heavenly court looked like, what beasts he had tended, how he had taken care of them, and much more. Wukong, if in a good mood and not acting aloof or having been reprimanded by his Master, was always willing to boast about himself. Of course that usually meant an exchange of sorts. Yesterday it had been for her to sit with him as he answered her questions, rifling through Sophie’s bag and asking questions of his own on what these were and insulting them- he particularly had taken to insulting her makeup which Sophie had, of course, taken the bait on. She had only realized it was a trap until after she was halfway through the reason why her brand of makeup and mascara was perfect and made her look and feel like a goddess that she saw that shit eating grin and had shoved at him.

Today she wouldn’t ask him her typical questions. She had something else she wanted to do.

Wukong brought the saddle up and set it at the base of the tree, tail flicking back and forth. He glared at Pigsy, opening his mouth to finish the argument when Trip, without having to look up, stopped him.

“Leave him Sun Wukong.” He ordered. There was patience still in the monks voice. “He means none of what he says.”

“He means all of it, Monk.” Wukong retorted. Sophie saw Pigsy look up and grin at them, egging the demon monkey on.

“Go.” Tripataka pointed away from Pigsy to another shaded patch. “Cool your temper and yourself. Let us have a moment of peace until we must embark into the heat again.”

The Monkey king sniffed and turned on his heel angrily, leaving Sophie and Trip to their task. As he walked past Pigsy he curled his middle finger up and away from the rest of his hand, flipping the pilgrim the bird.

Of course Pigsy didn’t understand what that statement meant. Yet.

Wukong had pestered and bugged her about the hand signal she had given when one particularly shitty day finally had gotten beneath Sophie’s skin and she had reacted silently. It had been an unusually rough day when finally, her headphones (may they rest in peace) had died in the middle of Gustav Holst Jupiter.

Sophie had at first pulled the headphones out in disbelief and then tried to pop them back in. Maybe they just need to reconnect. She tried them again. No use. Her music was finally gone. So she of course reacted silently and, with what she thought at the time, was appropriate. Sophie had regretted losing her temper that way and regretted even further to having caved to Wukongs questions.

Soon all of them would know what the middle finger meant and that may also lead to further arguments. Sophie could see Pigsy using it the most to get a rise from Wukong. For now, only the Monkey King knew. She hoped it stayed that way for as long as possible.

Or at least till we get out of this heat.

Between Sophie and Trip, they had Yulong brushed down, feet picked clean and a small bucket of water set before the great white stallion. Once his needs had been tended Sophie looked back up at the sky. The thunderstorm was tall and black, staining the blue sky wherever it crossed. A blessedly cooled breeze blew into her face carrying the scent of water and damp earth. She dragged her backpack a bit away from Trip who was meditating now, to a bit of shade a few lengths away from the rest of them where she could watch the storm unfurl.

Sophie would catch up on some reading, having been lucky enough to snag a book. It was a book of poetry by a scholar of the name Li Po, and whatever magic had cast her into the past had also given her an ability to understand and read the languages here too. A small blessing, that.

Sophie hadn’t had anything new to read in what felt like ages and was eager to crack open the little book and read its contents. She craved it.

She settled herself down, setting her backpack behind her and crossing her legs. As she crossed her legs, and turned to dig into her bag, she felt something heavily land in her Lap. She peeked down and beneath her arm.

Wukong stared up at her, face set in a scowl.

“Yes? Can I help you?” Well. This was new. Wukong would sit with her when they had time to silently rest during their travels. Usually it was side by side, usually it was Sophie joining the Sage to ask him questions. But- never him resting on her. That was new.

Wukongs head was resting squarely in her lap, arms crossed behind, shoulders on her legs.

“You aren’t going to ask me questions.” He didn’t say it like a question. More of a statement. He sounded glum.

“I was going to read this book I snagged in the last town we were in.” Sophie pulled it from her bag, showing him the simple black embossed cover. She was too tired to complain about Wukong not at least respecting her boundaries or asking permission before he settled himself on her person. If I brought it up he would just say he was a king and it was his right to any person's space. To keep peace, she wouldn’t voice her thoughts. The heat had made all of them tired and she would rather have a calm monkey resting in her lap than a monkey that would rise eagerly to argue. Even if said monkey had come uninvited.

Wukong wasn’t demanding anything of her - at least not yet. Which meant he was in a … better mood ? It was hard to tell. Some days she felt like she and the Monkey King were as thick as thieves, dodging demonic creatures, bandits and the like with an ease that was comforting in this strange world. Other days it was like walking around a scalded cat, Wukong picking and poking and snapping at things Sophie didn’t understand fully. He was a prickly monkey but …

She looked down and saw that his face, though set in his typical apathetic scowl, had none of the stormy look he usually wore when something was bothering him.

When he acted like this it made Sophie want to be his friend all the more.

Wukong pulled one of his hands free from behind his head and held up a hand, asking silently. Sophie passed him the book. The Monkey King squinted at the words, turning the book and it’s pages in his hand with a disinterested air.

“I guess that’s suitable.” He said and snapped it closed.

“Suitable?”

“To read aloud.” Wukong said, passing it back to her. He closed his eyes, breathing out as another cool breeze shook the tree leaves above them.

“We may have an hour or two before that storm will be upon us.” He lifted his chin up, gesturing at the storm.

“I don’t think you want your little book to get wet in that downpour so if you want to get a good deal into it, best to start sooner rather than later.”

“You want me to read aloud to you?”

Wukong opened one glowing eye and stared at her. “Yes. It will be a welcome change to that monkey stalker crap you have.”

“It’s not crap it’s science!”

“Sounds like crap to me.”

“If you want me to read to you, you better not call this book crap either or I will drop it on your nose.” Sophie threatened.

Wukong opened both his eyes to fix her with an upside down glare.

“You wouldn’t dare.” But there was a hint of a grin about his face, a tugging of humor to his lips.

Sophie kept his stare, unblinking.

“Watch me, monkey boy.”

She shook the book in threat. She would drop the book on his nose. Sophie had a suspicion that Wukong would then take that book and either chuck it away or keep it away from her.

Wukong grinned up and then closed his eyes again, tail curling up and onto his waist.

“I wouldn’t. It’s poetry. I want to hear what this pompous Li Po has to prattle about.” With that Wukong settled back into Sophie’s lap, getting comfortable.

Sophie felt a touch of affection for her friend, something that may have struck a different cord with her if this had been earlier in their relationship (and before Wukong had squashed that very early crush). Wukong may be an ass- pompous and self important himself- but he was genuine in a sense. He may dance around things that made him turn moody and broody but he really couldn’t hide that, despite being hot and cold at times to her, Sophie and Sun Wukong had a friendship. One born of arguments and teasing, questions and prodding. Maybe he had scared her into falling into a river. But he had stolen her clothes to replace the ones soaked. Maybe he had poor communication skills and liked to get her attention by kicking walls or suddenly jumping up in front of her or taking her things and holding them at ransom. But it was friendship. A friendship so very strange and bewildering at times that It confused Sophie as much as rewarded her.

The snap of thunder had her stare back up into the sky. The storm moved closer, already a sheet of rain visibly pouring down onto the mountains beyond. It would be a bit before it reached the pilgrims but it was making its steady way toward them all the same.

Sophie opened the book, flipping to the first poem. Quite appropriately it was about storms.

As the thunder rolled closer, promising a reprieve from the heat, Sophie felt a peace settle in as she read. Even as the sky broke apart before them, she felt a calm and grounding. She may be from another time, another place. Adrift she could have felt. Reading aloud she felt an anchor settle in her. She belonged. Even if it was only to a very angry stone monkey, she belonged.

#hcwrites #writing stuff #for jttw monkeybuisness #hope you like it !#sun wukong #jttw au #jttw tag #it’s so unbearably hot here #and this kinda popped in my head and I caved and wrote it #it’s shorter then the others so I hope it still makes y’all smile.#I had Sky Full of Song when I was writing this #poor pilgrims they are all dying in the heat #I DONT blame em for snapping at eachother #I CANT stand the heat either #impulsive writing I did.#I Hope I did. this well! it was kinda just a fast spontaneous writing #drabbles #hcfanfics

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thatruerealmwalker · 10 days

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The Madness We Realized Working for Playtime Is

The Pipeworks 1: Karl’s First Assignment- Oh god why this?

Read on AO3:

HERE.

Karl Kingsworth is a simple man. Someone who doesn't have much ranking in Playtime's "Pipeworks" sector of the company, but still somewhat good at his job. He gets in, fixes the "leak", gets out.

But when he's assigned to a Leak that the BOSS would cover... well he's not doing okay.

Especially for what the damn "leak" actually is.

HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!!?!?!?!

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Soundtrack: Ryūnosuke Naruhodō ~ Overture of the Adventure - The Great Ace Attorney

Karl, a junior staff member at Playtime Co's Public Relations office, often referred to by the staff as "Pipeworks" due to it's unenviable reputation as "We fix the leaks when Playtime fucks up... every damn week", is standing in front of the door leading into a room where a very important “talk” will take place.

His first big assignment- and it has to be about this of all things. There is a almost zero chance that if he messes up here he won't end up as a test himself.

Yeah that's right, he knows what Playtime really does. Everyone in the Pipeworks does. Playtime thought they couldn't let that happen for a while- Then escape attempts started happening and how else were they going to know what to say? That didn't stop Playtime from trying to wipe out the Pipeworks staff and bring in fresh faces- but the Boss put a stop to that quickly. Who knew that telling someone about the shit under your carpet would backfire, especially when it's their job to have contacts and manage the people managing Playtime's image.

That doesn't mean anyone in Pipeworks is off the hook if they mess up. They have a lot of leeway other workers simply don't, but completely failing is still lethal. And this right here? This is something Karl has been dreading once he was assigned to it. Him, low rank new face bitchboy got assigned something the Boss would have taken if he could- How is that fair?

Of course the Boss and the top 3 were hard at work patching an even bigger leak involving a certain news company getting their hands of files that should have never left Playtime's doors. The dedicated teams weren't around either- Wrench was hunting down and trying to silence a potential whistle blower- the second this month- Hammer was dealing with the fact that the sane toy companies were suing playtime co for their next toy line push- because of course Playtime would try to make off brand Hotwheels and not ask Pipeworks if it was a good idea- and Driver... fuck Driver team was just GONE. No one knew where the hell they were sent. At least the Boss reassured the staff that they didn't get "terminated", just doing something hush hush.

And that left only the newbies and clerks to choose from for this assignment.

Of course it had to be Karl. Wrong place wrong time- he swears to god Pierre was drunk when he selected him for the task- and by himself no less!

This is it... all Karl can think is that he's gonna get killed-

The door to the room opens up and he comes face to face with a young girl, probably an intern with how young she looks, looking at him with surprise.

"Oh you're finally here! Mister James was worried we would have to reschedule."

"Y-yeah... Just traffic got in the way. Are we getting started soon?"

"Mister James actually sent me to go get stuff for lunch since it's about that time- you haven't eaten already have you?"

Oh thank the lord above!

"Oh no! And I'd love to join you all! What are we having?"

She waves her hand back and forth in the air, "Nothing too fancy, just some deli sandwiches that got catered to the office today. Any kind you like?"

"I can go for Ham and Cheese if you have some?"

"Ham and Cheese... think so! Just head on in, I'll be back in a bit!" With that the young intern makes her way towards where Karl can only assume to be the cafeteria for the building.

At least he has some extra time... maybe he does still have a chance! Just gotta see if he can figure out how to make that chance in the first place.

Entering inside, the room is rather furnaced- well it's probably normal to expect a place to want someone to feel welcomed when talking... Playtimes own interview/guest/meeting rooms, despite the Boss and the Big 3 pushing it, still lack any real comfort. "You all don't need that, just make em shut up and go away!" is apparently what Pierre said to Boss's face last time he tried.

Karl can only wish that bastard hell for that. There is a reason why Pipeworks always sends staff out instead of inviting people in. Technically two- but everyone knows letting outsiders into the main building or even on the campus itself risks someone seeing something they shouldn't. The impressions a low quality room with a folding fucking table does not make good first impressions!

And by god does Karl need that here.

“Ah, hello there. You must be Mr. Kingsworth. Such a fancy last name you have there my good sir.”

Sitting on a nice leather couch on one side of the room is a rather well dressed man. Brown hair curled up into a stylish cut, the suit he’s wearing being rather expensive looking as he gestures for Karl to take a seat.

“Please, make yourself at home. It isn’t everyday I have a toy company, especially one as prodigious as Playtime wanting to work with my humble craft.”

Humble is a fucking UNDERSTAMENT. This person Karl is talking to is Alexander James- who happens to own a somewhat high class clothes line. You know, with a clientele that could most likely pay for an average American home in a single payment.

Alexander James, who’s clothes make regular appearances on runways and fashion magazines. Alexander James, who should have NO investment in Playtime at all. Alexander James, who Playtime cannot make disappear or actually pay off.

As Karl takes a seat on the couches on the other side of the room, with a beautiful table he maybe would have actually paid attention too if he wasn’t dying from anxiety born from this entire situation, he only hopes he can actually cover this neatly.

“No need to address me as such Mr. James, I’m merely a representative for Playtime. Thank you for allowing this conversation under such short notice.”

“If we are to drop the honorifics, please, just address me as Alexander, Karl. Now, while I’m sure you’re as eager to start this conversation as I am- I believe we should first have some lunch no? May I suggest some tea while we wait? I recently had it imported from Japan. Supposed to help cleanse anxiety from the body, but it’s quite delicious as well.”

Alexander gestures toward the tea set in the center of the finely crafted table that separates the two men. As much as Karl thinks he really shouldn’t impose so soon- especially when he hopes he can cancel this entire “deal” before it gets off the ground, the smell of the tea, which is that of a very sweet scent of cherry blossoms, one that Karl almost mistakes for vanilla, entices him to partake.

Time flies by after just a cup of some rather well made tea. Soon enough the intern returns with the promised lunch, the smell of the sandwiches adding to the comforting feeling Karl’s hosts provide. He only wishes he could feel that comfort when it would stick.

Lunch is eaten rather quickly, Alexander keeping tidy as he swiftly eats the well made sandwiches. The ham in Karl’s sandwich gives a wondrous crunch as the melted cheese mixes with the taste. It’s only the bread, softly sweet but not extremely so, that makes it a fine meal.

Once again, Karl wishes he didn’t have such a heavy burden on him to properly enjoy this.

The food is soon gone and messes cleaned up. Tea refilled as Alexander is handed over a folder from his intern assistant.

“I’m glad you have been enjoying yourself Karl, but I believe we should begin our talks sooner than later, don’t you agree?”

And now the bliss is gone, and Karl realizes he still lacks any plan… he really shouldn’t have indulged. With the poker face trained into him by his higher ups, he keeps a front of joy over his growing dread, a smile shining with false bravado, “Of course Alexander. Thank you for the meal and tea, it was quite a treat… so about the partnership.”

“Yes yes, so, I will be honest with you Karl, when your company reached out with this idea, it was quite a shock. But… It has sparked my mind to begin working on some designs already.”

Alexander opens the folder and begins to lay out several papers, all Karl briefly ignores in favor for the final items to part for the insides of the folder- the damn thing that started all of this.

A set of enlarged photographs… of the BBI Roxie and Catnap… posing in several company branded cosmetics… Not in the factory. Outside of the fucking factory. Seen by someone not connected to the company.

The humor at the situation is not lost on Karl. Honestly, if it was someone else from the Pipeworks, he would be laughing his ass off at it. But it’s happening to him. He cannot find humor in this. His very life could end if he messes up here.

Somehow, an employee was able to sneak in fashion magazines for the Critter sector of the BBI. Said employee was approached by Roxie who requested them to send these damn photographs to Alexander James’ designer office so they could “Become a model with my brother!” after seeing the ad for runway models for Alexander’s work.

Someone, they got the photos out, got it set up to where it was not some random person but the COMPANY sending the damn things- and kept it undercover for another 2 MONTHS.

How?

HOW?!!

HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!?!?!

Karl simply swears if he even encounters the racoon he’ll deck them in the face for this fucking shit show! If he can’t cover this up- It’ll be the last damn thing he does!

He would lash out at the apparent mastermind behind this instead, but they are currently locked in a cell as the company finalizes the “Farewell” procedures. God Karl can only hope no one else needs to be said “farewell” too. That’ll be even more work for Pipeworks if so-

But all he has to do is make sure Alexander doesn’t… what?

Wait what hold on no that’s not how this was supposed to go-

Karl’s mind rebooted as he finally processed the last line from Alexander James… NO.

Eyes upon the paper placed down first- OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Karl was very close to breaking his false smile at this point… because Alexander made designs. MADE CLOTHES DESIGNS FOR THE FUCKING CRITTERS.

WHAT THE-

“Oh that’s wonderful Alexander. I’m glad you found the proposal that engaging… your thoughts on our models?”

“Well Karl, you and Playtime have outdone yourself. Those mannequins look almost life-like! How could I say no to such an opportunity to have some fun.”

OH THANK GOD- he thinks they're fake! Good good Karl can work with this and-

“I do hope when I get my hands on them I’ll be able to find which designs work best. Photos never do capture what I need to make my work shine.”

OH GO NO- Fuck Fuck Fuck- SAY SOMETHING- YOU CANNOT-

“O-of course sir!- we would just have to figure out how to get them ready on our part!”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- IDIOT. You can’t just-!

“Splendid! I look forward to cooperating with you all… I am worried about the bad press that using your… Catnap would bring. Can Playtime ensure that it wouldn't risk any bad press for the Magazine?”

Okay… There is still a chance! End the deal right here!

“I’m sorry sir but… they unfortunately come in a pair. We’re attempting to fix the bad PR done by the incident with the Catnap plushies but… I cannot ensure it. Maybe we can postpone this until it’s far safer to do the photoshoot?”

Alexander gives some time to ponder while Karl internally sighs. He almost messed things up real bad but he’s almost there. Just gotta make sure Alexander says no and he’s free-

“Well… Let’s give it a try. It won’t be my first controversial piece after all. It would be a waste for your kind folks to throw away the work you did with the large toys anyways.”

Oh no, “Are you sure Mr. Ja- Alexander? We at Playtime care deeply about our partner’s wellbeing. We can push this back if it would-”

With a wave of his hand, Alexander gives a chuckled laugh, “Thank you for your worry Karl, but I promise, there will be no hard in at least giving it a try. I’m excited to start soon all the same! It’s not everyday you get to make clothes for mascots after all!”

With a silent breath, Karl weighed his options. He knows for a fact that if those photos got to someone who knew just a bit more, this could end up being a leak the Pipeworks couldn’t patch up. The problem comes with Alexander himself. If Karl pushed for the deal to stop here and now… he might realize something is wrong here. The man already pointed out how life like they are, so he’s noted that. Karl can only hope he truly is that ignorant or disbelieving of the idea that those “mannequins” are really alive.

A half lie. Just say to the man that the toys are damaged and can’t be used.

“I’m sorry Alexander but… Playtime was hoping to drop the deal entirely.”

Karl suppressed a flinch when Alexander’s eyes snapped to his face like a spotlight, “Oh? For what reason Karl? Both we here and Playtime have put quite the bit of work into this already, no?”

“And you would be correct, however a… accident occurred recently and our, hehe, ‘models’ ended up getting damaged. The employe who caused such a thing has been reprimanded and demoted but-”

“Mr. Kingsworth.”

At the tone forming from Alexander’s lips, Karl’s protests died in his throat. Alexander was leaning forward now, hands interlocked with his chin over them- oh no.

“I would not survive in my line of work without being noticed when a clear lie is being told bluntly to my face. I’m no idiot Kingsworth. I had only hoped you’d be willing to keep things on track… but it seems I’ll have to force your hand.”

Sweat began to drip from Karl’s forehead as the worst case scenario seemed to come about, “Now Alexan-”

“Mr. James, Kingsworth.”

“Mr. James, please, why would I have any reason to lie about this?”

A laugh bellowed from Alexander James, once that put fear into Karl’s very core.

Alexander gestured towards the photos that laid in the center of the table “To the common person, Mr. Kingsworth, these individuals in these pictures could be assumed to be only manufactured… The eyes have a watery shine to them and I wouldn’t miss the tongue shown on this one here.” He pointed towards a photo of Roxie with one hand wrapped around their “brother” and another doing a peace sign over their head. Both are wearing Playtime branded water coats- and that fucker is with their tongue out as they practically winks at Karl through the photograph.

He can at least agree with Catnap’s face- Karl’s was fucking tired of this yesterday.

“Now… All of this could be described as you attempting your utmost best to prove to me quality hand made models… and I would have bought that if that was your sell. I really would…”

Alexander leans back, fishing out a piece of paper from his suit that he treats with utmost care. Slowly unfolding it as if to make a point of Karl’s helplessness.

“If I didn’t get a letter from this… Roxie as well.”

NO.

THAT RACOON BITCH.

HE’LL FUCKING KILL THEM YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO HIM- WHY THIS?!!

Alexander, uncaring for Karl’s internal damnation of a certain purple racoon, begins to read out the somewhat messy handwriting of one Roxie Reedcycle:

“Hello there Mr. James! My name's Roxie! Marie said she would send this to you so I wanted to add a letter! Me and my brother would be perfect models! All of your clothes are so cool and I really want to give it a try! Catnap says he doesn’t want to but he got vetoed- I’m not sure how Clothes would work with our tails- I mean it was really uncomfy trying on all the clothes Marie found for us. It just wasn’t good, I hate my tail being cooped up like that ya know! Maybe you could also figure out how to make it not itch so much? The clothes kinda made my stitches feel tingly and it wasn’t really good. I was scratching at it and everything and Naps had to stop me- I don’t think my fur likes cotton. : ( So maybe something soft? OOOOOO maybe silk! I’ve never worn silk before! I think DD would look wonderful in silk! Would you be okay with the others joined in too?! I can ask Marie if she can send more photos of them like the ones we did before! Hmm- Maybe I should see about stitching up some old clothes into some stuff for everyone- I think Bobby would love a dress! Maybe-”

At the sight of Karl’s now visible horror, his body deflating into the couch he sits on as he stares at the guillotine axe being read aloud in Alexander’s hands, Alexander stops reading out the letter and smiles so damn smugly at Karl, even if Karl would never dare point that out, “Should I keep going Mr. Kingsworth? I must say, I did enjoy reading this letter from such a dear fan of mine. So much details as well- stuff a company such as Playtime would never put into a formal letter. Little Roxie even talked about how much they wanted to try cake again after they was… oh yes “I got super yelled at when I stole that piece of cake. It wasn’t even stealing! Someone just left it out! Even if I got no food for dinner it was worth it though!”

This is a set up , it has to be. THIS WAS FUCKING PLANED- It had to be! No way that bastard Marie didn’t think this through. The fact they even set it up to be sent under Playtimes own names only adds to that! There has to be still a chance, Karl can't just accept this lying down. His life is on the line!

“Haha- Mr. James that must be just a mistake, we at Playtime Co would never condone-”

A slam of Alexander’s free hand on the table, rocking the tea set, quickly told Karl he lost the moment he came through these doors, “Mr. Kingsworth, here is what's going to happen. You’re going to set up a photo shoot for this child and their brother and friends, I’m going to make the best damn clothes I can for them, and Maybe I’ll remain quiet about the rampant child abuse your company takes part in. This is for the good of all of us, isn’t it?”

Karl could only nod at that- what could he do but follow along with the demands of someone who could absolutely spread around these images and letter to god knows who.

“Splendid. I hope you have a good day now! I’ll be looking forward to when we begin.”

That smile of a predator sinking teeth into prey… it’ll haunt Karl for a long time after this.

Karl’s mind doesn’t process leaving, or getting into his car, or driving home, or when he found himself on his bed at his dingy apartment, small tears running down his face as he stares at the fan slowly cycling above him.

Karl no longer can think about any of this.

He can longer process anything anymore.

Because his very mind is consumed with absolute dread at what Playtime is going to do with him when they learn he FAILED.

He can only hope he’s just made into a toy. God he hopes that’s all they do with him.

He can still remember the screams for the most recent tests on the properties of the poppy gas.

He can only beg that he won't end up like that.

Well… Maybe there’s a way he can avoid that fate.

Sitting up from his bed, a plan comes together. A desperate, half formed plan that could just make everything worse… but the best he has.

If he can follow along with Alexander’s idea while keeping the risk of an unfixable leak in check… and use this connection to Alexander to create a social barrier from being said “farewell” too…

All he needs to do is force the company's hand to allow this to happen. And by god does Pipework have what he needs to do that.

Well- Guess it’s time for an honest to god fashion show.

Karl is so fucked.

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And that's it for Chapter 1! I hope you all enjoyed! This was a crack thing I cooked up when talking to @visinox about the @realizinau. (look, someone has to be in charge of keeping Playtime's brand okay when Playtime is... PLAYTIME.)

Of course, since this is part of the Realizing Extra's AU, I couldn't not include the other parts from it. So thank you @iidgm for letting me use Roxie!

I may continue this if it's wanted enough, or hey, better yet even collaborate with even more creators on this project! Feel free to reach out if you ever want to chat about it! I love talking to new people about being creative gremlins!

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