#but I’d still spend my days

[holographic-mars]

Space giirrll the only way that we’d end

#WAS IF YOU WERE SUCKED INTO A BLACK HOLE #but I’d still spend my days #dreamin bout youuuu #I love him so much I’m utterly obsessed #mars doodles #maccadam #transformers #maccadams #soundwave #cosmos #tf cosmos #transformers fanart #idw transformers #g1 transformers #coswave #a tiny tiny coswave

[brownlikecinnamon]

God I loveeeee a really specific man that’s so fucking hot to me

like tell me exactly what you want me to say and do and wear and think. I’ll show you just how well I can listen 💖

#let’s make yours the only voice in my head #oooh that might be a post also lol #craving a submission so safe but fucking deeep #where we both know that nothing makes me wetter than doing whatever the fuck you tell me to #days like today i wish i still worked from home #I’d be spending my lunch break in bed humping somethinggggg lol #fuck im so needy today i feel even more feral than yesterday #just bunny things #so needy rn i could diee

[lesbiansanemi]

I don’t know if a lot of people follow me for/from my fics but if so!!! A little announcement of sorts

I think I am going to be taking a break from posting fics on ao3 for a bit, and slowing down on writing in general. Recently, I’ve been having a very hard time finding enjoyment in it, and if I go more than a week without updating anything I get very stressed and tend to feel guilty 😅 which I know isn’t healthy

So I’m going to be taking a break, to try and help myself get over that, and hopefully slowing down and only writing when I truly feel like it and not 90% of all of my free time because I’m worried about keeping updates steady, I’ll start enjoying it again

I’m not sure how long of a “break” I’ll be taking. Probably at least a few weeks, but potentially longer depending on how I feel

I hope everyone understands, and when I eventually decide I want to start posting again, I hope the quality will be a bit better as I won’t be rushing or disliking most of what I write

#even just one day of freeing myself from the expectation of spending my whole day off from work writing #I’ve clean the house reorganized my room and am working on cooking an actual meal #that’s insane. normally I’d do good to get half of one of those things done #ofc I don’t expect this to magically fix my problems regarding that #but I already feel much lighter and more relaxed #I still plan to write some over this ‘break’ #but just only when I feel like it and on what I feel like working on #rather than what ‘needs’ an update #basically I just want to have a healthier relationship with writing sharing it and my expectations regarding it again #kaz rambles

[mattodore]

hi river !!! 🫶🫶 i may have asked you this already so please disregard this as i have but im thinking about trying to get into the sims for the first time again and was wondering if you knew of any masterposts or blogs to help get someone new to the sims started? either way thank you for your time & wishing you + ur ocs a good evening/day !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

hi jo <3 i’m so bad at answering stuff like this but thankfullyyyyy there's actually this gameplay guide on google docs i know of that links to some good gameplay mods along with editing resources, tips from other simblrs, and graphic mods! and you can look at resource pages that some simblrs have like nova’s resource page here for links to cc and mods that might make your game more lively.

as for personal recommendations i'd say to follow the “#ts4 gameplay, #ts4 cas, #ts4 story” tags, follow some cc finds blogs, and follow some other simblrs whose posts you like! i’d also say download ratboysims’ ratsave file to play in so the world looks more lively!! alongside getting the @.k-hippie terrain replacements for better world visuals (unless you dig the cartoony look of the sims worlds). also northernsiberiawinds’s better in-game lighting for your sims.

#river dipping #asks #ahaura #i don't think you've asked abt this before or if you did tumblr eviscerated your message before it got to my inbox </3 #i’m assuming you mean like… simblr. #unless you mean you’ve never played the sims and are totally unfamiliar……. in which case i’d say play the sims 3 first instead 😭 #ts4 is notoriously not as good or complete as ts3 #mind you i’ve only played ts4 but i’m more into the game for oc reasons anyway #and can make my own fun even when the game’s uhhh. not very fun without gameplay mods #sorry if this isn’t helpful btw 😭 ik i only made this blog a year ago but i actually have been into ts4 since the demo dropped #so i kinda don’t. really remember what it was like to first try to get into the game… #ummm but there are a TON of videos on youtube about ts4 like there are tutorials and cc recs and mod walkthroughs #like the community is very helpful generally speaking so !! #also pirate the dlc… i’m being serious don’t spend money on a game that’s incomplete by design and to this day still has issues #hopefully this helps……….. 😭 #i’m like half asleep typing this out so idk 🧍

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

Whumpee walking somewhere by themselves. Well - They’re in public, but there’s no one around that they know. Maybe they’re shopping, or in a library.

When suddenly, they start to feel weird. Their vision appears distorted, and the ground seems to wobble beneath their feet. Everything feels distant and out of reach, but somehow they manage to steady themselves and sit down on a nearby bench before their legs have the chance to give out beneath them.

As they sit, things start to clear up again. The dizziness slowly disappears, but it’s soon replaced by this godawful tiredness. From one moment to another, they feel like they can’t keep their eyes open another moment. After they wake up from an involuntary doze of a few seconds - Or was it minutes, they can’t tell - They decide to give themselves a push, just head home and plop into bed.

So they get up, gather their things, and immediately, the feeling of earlier returns - Only that it is now accompanied by this awful, splitting headache. They blink, try to turn their focus on what they’re doing, but before they even have the chance to take action - They’re out cold on the ground, their books or whatever they were carrying sprawled out on the ground next to them.

What do they wake up to? The face of a worried but somewhat helpless stranger or employee who’s trying to help them to their best abilities? Maybe they’re looking up at dozens of people crowded around them, staring, no one daring to make the first step in helping until one person finally does, and then they lash out at everyone for being too pussy to do anything? Or what if the first thing they see is an EMT and Whumpee actually has no clue what’s happening, they just feel absolutely awful and want to sleep, but why is this person telling them to…stay awake?

#whump #whump prompt #passing out #unconsciousness #whumpee #fainting #man #this was uh. definitely not inspired by personal experiences today LMAO #I went back to our library for the first time in months #now before first lockdown hit this place was like my second home. like I’d spend hours there every single day #but then I accidentally didn’t give my books back and now I’m still in debt there so I was too scared to go there in like the last year #but today I went again #and I was walking around and everything felt literally so weird and it was like the floor was made of jelly #so I sat down and wanted to catch back up on Norwegian a little and do some school work but the very moment I sat down I just. dozed off #yah #got up again and headache ensued for literally no reason #I did not end up actually passing out. that part is made up but #the rest just somehow happened today and I got no clue why #BUT ANYWAY #yes I wanted to put this experience here because I felt like some of y’all would enjoy it hehfnvndnvnldmf #Have fuuun with this #also I did not like. proof read this. and I gotta leave for school in 5 hours so like yet

[quagsthecryptid]

Gods, the team ranchers brainrot,,,, it’s real

All I’m saying is that I Belong to You by Brandi Carlile has me lying on the floor again

Correction: the whole album. All of her albums. Don’t mind me. Again Today/Hiding My Heart is also a ranchers song in my mind. So is The Things I Regret

#‘we lend our hands and take our stands in tandem when we do’ #‘when I lied and said I knew the way I hid my eyes from you’ #‘I still don’t know why’ #‘I probably didn’t want to scare you’ #‘I know I could be spending a little too much time with you’ #‘but time and too much don’t belong together like we do’ #‘if I had all my yesterdays I’d give them to you too’ #‘I belong to you now. I belong to you’ #‘I’m gonna die the exact day as you’ #this part SPECIFICALLY #loosing my mind #brb. gotta go scream at the void #and then draw so much #anyways I highly recommend her music. it’s wonderful and has great storytelling. #team ranchers

[tyrianlynch]

I’ve been improving a lot mentally lately and today my wife (best friend who I’ve lived with for 7 years) told me she’s divorcing me (moving to a city we both swore we’d never live in) and she’s taking the kids (our dog) and this is just further proof that god will never allow me to be happy or hopeful

#i know I sound dramatic but it feels like a divorce #my entire life revolves around her #she’s my soulmate and I’ve known her for a million lifetimes #I spend all day anticipating her coming home from work so we can spend time together #I schedule nothing on the weekends because weekends are for being with her #she’s come to every family gathering I’ve gone to for at least the last five years #she’s my entire fucking life and she’s leaving me #I’m gonna have to leave our apartment that we’ve been in for 3 years #I don’t even know how to make other friends because we’ve never needed anyone besides each other #and maybe we’re codependent and rely on each other too much but it’s never bothered us #and I always swore I’d follow her anywhere but she knows I can’t go where she’s going this time #I’m still so sick that I need my family nearby to help me so I can’t leave them #and my doctors are all here and I’ve spent years finding doctors I actually like #and I HATE where she’s moving #we lived there together for a summer and it was awful and she swore that we’d never go back there #and when she told me she’s leaving she didn’t bother asking me to come bc she knows I can’t #and I’m so fucking mad at her #I don’t know who I am without her and I feel like chunks of me are being carved out of my chest

[faehrys]

which members of dtkq+ do you feel most parasocial towards for me it’s dream and karl

#like dream is obvious he’s just as parasocial towards us #but i also unironically have a crush on him #and karl.. i am just fascinated by this human i want nothing more than to spend a day with him #i’d probably be exhausted after that day and my shy ass wouldn’t have said a single word #but still he’s so phenomenal

[floralsapphics]

.

#really struggling today #my vet suspects my cat has FIP and I’m crushed since that’s basically a death sentence and he only just turned 5 :( #I know GS-441524 is somewhat available in Canada now but since it’s not FDA approved it’s like 8k #what’s worse is my family and I have a 2 week vacation scheduled on May 11 #so even though there’s this drug with a 90% success rate it’s just so incredibly expensive I doubt we could afford it #even if we did manage to get our hands on it we wouldn’t be able to administer it to him for those 2 weeks #and even though he’s doing somewhat ok at the moment who knows what his condition will be like during those 2 weeks :( #ultimately we’re trying to decide whether or not to put him down before our trip #like if he does have it and died alone and in pain while we were out of the country I would be crushed #but I’d also be crushed if we put him down when there’s the chance he doesn’t have it since FIP is so hard to diagnose #it’s the not knowing what’s going on that makes it worse #it’s so hard because he’s still so sweet and curious and has really been my rock since we got him I’m just absolutely beside myself #like the whole day yesterday he’s done nothing but cuddle me and my mom like he knows we’re upset but doesn’t know why #I just feel like I’m abandoning and failing him in his time of need #I desperately don’t want to go on this trip so I can spend more time with him and maybe scrounge up enough money to buy the drugs #and give him a fighting chance #but I can’t and I feel sick and trapped about it

[needylittlegirl]

its the season of me forgetting that sun exposure can trigger autoimmune flare ups !!! born the be a little plant forced to be a sickly victorian child

#its HOT today so of course for my break i decided to sit outside in direct sunlight #5 minutes in i can feel it seeping into my bones in a bad way #i think its funny that all my life i’d spend sunrise to sunset swimming or playing outside #and i’d be *exhausted* and my mom just figured its cause i was so active #now we know !! #ive also gotten significantly more sensitive?? to it #like when i was little i could spend hours outside and just need to sleep alot the next day #now i notice the yuck seeping in within the first hour #its nothing horrible i just get achy and exhausted so its manageable #its usually in the middle of summer where it sucks cause im outside everyday so i never get recovery time #but i always just push through it cause i like being outside #so i push through it til i physically cant <3 and then i need like 3 days to recover #but thats only towards the end of summer #i also always get a lot of symptoms in summer that i dont usually get the rest of the year #and i think its cause it so suddenly trigger flare ups #idk #my thighs and shoulders are always the first to feel it when ive been outside too long #and then i start to get a headache #if i go inside when the headache hits i can prevent everything else #buuut <3 i never listen to my body <333 #u guys dont need to know any of this #if youre still reading ilyyy kiss kiss mwa mwa

[shatterthefragments]

Me knowing FULL WELL I don’t have $1000 for a cello: but what if 👀

#hey shatters? what if you fucking got good at the two and half to three and a half instruments you have (access to) already?!? #this is. a decades long debate #bc before I couldn’t bc too expensive. #and it still is especially bc I can’t hold the bow properly so I’d need lessons #and idk if anyone still does them locally anymore since the local music school closed years ago and they retired I think? #but uhhh #what’s the point of working and living at home if not to spend money on stupid things that bring you joy? #no? it’s to save money for rainy days and maybe move out one day?? anyway #ACTUALLY ADDING THAT A NON WOODWIND OR WIND INSTRJMENT WOULD BE SO NICE FOR WHEN IM SICK OR POSSIBLY SICL #BC I CANT KN GOOD FAITH PUT MY LIPS ON MY FLUTE OR SAX UNTKL MUMS BETTER SND I CANT GET SICK FROM MY PARENTS #AND I WANT TO MAKEEEEE NOISEEEEE

[astridthevalkyrie]

feeling like you’re 12 when you’re 22 is genuinely such a humiliating experience.

#my dad and mom have been on my case ab asking for permission before I go places and it makes me kinda sick #seeing everyone around me make plans or whatever and then being like ‘I’ll have to ask 🥺 👉🏽👈🏽 #’ #and my dad’s a liar he’s like it’s not like we ever say no #except my mother does and so does he??? #even the muslim girls I am friends with have more freedom and you know what’s amazing ab this is #they can’t stop me from going to school. they don’t pay for that #they can’t take my car. they don’t pay for that #my mom can stop making food for me and I will manage just fine #they wanna kick me out???? blessing in disguise #but it’s hilarious that as an adult i’m still paying for everything I use but I still have to ask permission genuinely fuck off #my parents when I have to stay late on campus for some school event: 😒 #the way I’d be making money rn if they didn’t decide to come and stalk me at work and see me without my hijaab on #and that one’s on me I could choose to just work with it on and make them happy #but I literally can’t as a matter of principle #i’m given such little pride as it is and if I say I don’t want to work with a hijaab on that’s that #i got an internship two days ago for the summer and you can bet your ass I’m not wearing my hijaab #except it’s not paid #and as much as I have guilt spending I really don’t spend a lot and it makes me so angry #i know that your 20s isn’t your whole life and people shouldn’t think that if they waste their 20s their life is up #but it’s like #my teens were already so shitty and abusive and trapped #how much longer do I have to deal w this before i’m treated like an adult #trick question! it’s only until a man can own me bc then he can make my decisions instead of them <3

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early. #and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed. #went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done. #I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding) #actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so… #I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired. #I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die. #is this relatable? #just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda. #gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text

[sleevebuscemii]

.

#actually severely depressed that i wont be able tp go see my friends this weekend because i booked the flight wrong #ive been looking forward to this for fucking weeks and now its just. all down the drain because i was fucking stupid. #and changing the flight is gonna cost so much money and its not worth it and i still have to pay that $100 for my no-show #and im getting a haircut and i have to buy a wedding gift like. #i have too many expenses to make spending an EXTRA $130 on a flight to be worth it just to see a friend for one day #im just so fucking. angry. like if i just fucking paid attention i wouldn’t have missed my appointment and had to pay that fee. #if i had just paid attention i would’ve realized i never changed the flight time a fucking month ago. #like it just feels like such small bullshit to have ruined so much and for fucking what?!? #and now if i try to go another weekend its like. i already took time off for this one #its too short notice to have everyone change their plans #it’s still gonna cost me $100+ #and ramadan is coming up so i’d have to go very soon which will make it even More expensive #like. I HAD IT ALL FUCKING FIGURED OUT AND NOW. #now im out $100 and wasted $200 on a flight home to literally get to see everyone for two seconds and then leave immediately #m

[raccooncityriots]

At a confusing crossroads of “I really want to start looking for a house and start putting down a foundation, but I don’t want to live in this town” and “I have a decent job here that gives me a lot of benefits and I’d be foolish to leave right now”

#I’ve always been a little behind in life as far as other people my age so I’m not terribly torn up about it #but I feel silly being 30 and still living at home when I’m able bodied and working #but also why would I waste money on rent when I can live at home near my work #I already pay half the bills and all the groceries here so it’s not like I’m just being a freeloader #so it makes sense to save the money I’d be spending on an apartment #but one day soon I need to sit down and actually make a plan #bc the last few years the plan was finish school #which I did #but I failed to actually sit down and decide what is next lol #I’ve sort of just been chilling since I finished in the spring

[fingertipsmp3]

I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above

#i cry super hard every day now. sometimes multiple times a day #sometimes something sets it off specifically (like arguing with my mom earlier) #but sometimes i just think about mabel too much and start sobbing #i thought i was okay. i mean i knew i wasn’t okay but i knew time would do its thing #the first few weeks were the worst but earlier this month i felt like i’d kind of plateau’d #like i was still sad but i could look at photos and videos and talk about her without crying. i was even laughing #now… now i can’t even think of her. again #it just feels so fucking unfair that i’ll NEVER see her again. like what the fuck do you mean. what do you MEAN #what do you mean i have to live out my whole life… god knows how fucking long i’ll live; and N E V E R see her again. shut the fuck up. #that’s so fucking unfair. and everyone else is okay. i’m like how can you POSSIBLY just go about your life #the best dog in the world is dead and she’s going to stay dead and i won’t see her again for however many fucking stupid cursed decades #i live and i might not even see her when i die. how the HELL am i supposed to be okay with that. is that a joke #and there’s a part of me that’s like ‘maybe i could adopt another dog’ but i don’t know #i think i’d feel better and worse at the same time. i wouldn’t feel so alone but they wouldn’t be mabel #i put in an application for a terrier that’s at a local rescue but if i don’t get him i’m not trying again. i’ll take it as a hint #cats aren’t an option btw i found out i’m allergic. which was brand new information.. i’ve been around cats that didn’t set my allergies #off at all. but i guess there’s a difference between spending an hour at your friend’s house who has one cat #and living 24/7 with a cat that gets fur and dander and saliva everywhere #and i don’t think other pets would suit me. i just don’t feel comfortable caring for any animal i haven’t done research on #i had hamsters when i was a teenager but… tbh never again. they are so much fun but i have anxiety dreams about them now #so it’s dogs (well.. one dog) or nothing #i do have plans to speak to my doctor about my depression btw because i genuinely find this unsustainable #like i do think it’s situational (seasonal/grief/everyone around me seeming to want to argue with me lately) but i still need #mood stabilisers while i’m in this situation lol #personal