#but again. i played a lot yesterday

[semercury]

And like. I get it. You're too sensitive ha ha, just let it roll off your back, just don't worry about it. But like that's not it. I chronically feel like I'm the worst person alive, and if I fuck up and make someone upset, that's all the more reason I deserve to die. I now have confirmation that I pissed someone off. What do I do with that? It's beyond someone just calling me a clown, someone used points to give me a clown badge like a scarlet letter. It's the intent. And if it was that person, they probably wanted to add me to harass me or dox me or get my ip address (which is why I don't add people from dbd).

But mostly I feel sick bc I pissed someone off enough that they felt the need to do that. I promise people aren't actively trying to piss you off or be a dick. I was doing my best, I just wasn't making the right calls. You don't know the other person on the other side of the screen. You don't know what they're dealing with. Please just have some compassion.

#stuff sarah says #i have not been doing very well gamers. in case you couldnt tell #on a good day this would shake me up a little and then id laugh it off #this has not been a good day in a while... #a story i could make up to make myself feel better #is that they added me bc they saw i was a little confused but had the right spirit #and they wanted to coordinate #and then some random killer saw how dumb i was with my flashlight later and was like. clown. #or some clown main just gifts jesters to all profiles they go up against #or it was from a while ago and someone just thought i was dumb or funny #idk. i need to see when my points summary updates if it was from dec 3rd in the evening #but again. i played a lot yesterday #could have been anyone #but i know that one person visited my profile to send a friend request #idk. i privated community awards and also made my profile friends only #i liked having it public so i could show off my hours and achievements #but idk. not if this is going to be how the community acts...

[hydrodragons]

genshin impact gif challenge ✦

[1/?] archon quests → interlude chapter, act iii: inversion of genesis

“do you think there are any differences between your present self and your previous and future incarnations? if not, then what are the differences between humans and puppets? whoever has tasted the joys and sorrows of life in the human realm is human. whoever has loved and lost, cried with grief, howled with rage at the tragedy of death that eclipses the miracle of life... they are human too."

#genshin impact #genshinedit #genshinimpactedit #genshinet #scaramouche #wanderer #mine* #scaramouche* #gifchallenge* #tw flashing #i finally found a way to format quests!! #it hit me yesterday as i was finding a quote to put for raiden then boom here we are #i was gonna make the whole thing black and white and blue hence the first two gifs #but i didn't end up liking how it looked so more colours it is 🫶🏻 #also chose a long ass quote for the caption (it's two separate voicelines into one) #but i felt it was important to emphasize the puppet and human description that nahida tells scara #ahhhhh i love this quest a lot i remember having mixed feelings about him erasing his identity when i first played through it #but then i rewatched it again later and ended up liking it more bc it shows that not everyone can just erase themselves from irminsul #the same way rukkhadevata did #god i just miss sumeru so much it's still my fave of all the nations when are we going back y'all 😩 #pls give me more scara and nahida interactions i beg they're my favourite platonic pairing ever (besides kazuven ofc)

[gavidaily]

Gavi and Ter Stegen ❤️‍🩹

#gavi #pablo gavi #gavigif #gavi gif #marc andre ter stegen #ter stegen #fc barcelona #<3 <3 #the videos from yesterday's game lol #he's so restless #those months with his knee totally immobile must have been hell for him the poor kid #i'm so glad he's doing better i cant wait to see him playing and tackling people again <3 #i miss him a lot

[ch1zzie]

Please list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals, followers and all the wonderful people on here! Hope you've been having a wonderful new year so far ^^

Ooo, 5 things that make me happy are

Welcome home

My friends

People who are nice to me

Fun colorful things

And other things that I like to watch/play/draw!

There's many things that make me happy...way to much to list, I'm usually happy a lot! But anyway, I hope your year is going wonderful as well!

Also

EEEEEEE YOUR ART IS SO AWESOME

AAAAA

Julies for u

#welcome home #partycoffin #julie joyful #not just an ask but i didnt notice we were mutuals #what a great day! #or night? it is 1 in the morning #AND I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW NOOO #aw man i wanted to finish my wally looking at the subnautica aurora ship ruined while sitting on the escape pod at night #i started playing subnautica yesterday and cant stop thinking about it #i used to watch dantdm play it over and over #i kept rewatching from beginning to end and that takes days for how many hours he put into those video's or even HOW many video's #why do i want to rewatch them again... #I DUNNO MY BRAINS FILLED WITH SUBNAUTICA #thats a lot of talking its not even related to the post GOODNITE

[utilitycaster]

part of why I like to do ask memes is that it sometimes shakes loose thoughts that wouldn't otherwise come to mind. anyway for real why is it that in actual play, a medium where even in a brief arc you are likely to have 10-15 hours of gameplay and where you can easily get into the hundreds of hours for full campaigns, people rely so heavily on a stereotype based on a player's first appearances?

#this is like. extremely true for the zac oyama travis willingham jake hurwitz trifecta of guys who deserve better (also. sam riegel) #but also like. i feel this is true of a lot of women too; i feel this is why Emily has that reputation of a DM Destroyer #or why people are so likely to sideline ashley except when convenient #i also - and this is related in part to that wild candela post from yesterday #feel there's like. a playing telephone problem which is why people who started with c3 will parrot c1 stereotypes #see the way to get into cr properly is for your sibling to bug you about it for years and then NEVER speak about it to you again

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake…. #I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour. #I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing? #y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day. #but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!! #I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

[oifaaa]

you hate the Jason parents retcon? Me too; I've never seen anyone else like the circus parents more

I kinda feel bad now bc I meant the Jason's parents retcon of them going from victims of their circumstance to poor people bad sorry anon I'm sure there are people who prefer circus parents #2 I'm just not one of them (if you do sound off so anon knows they're not alone)

#ask #anon #im gonna continue my little steph Jason parents rant from yesterday tho bc i got a lot to say #like the way that steph and jason basically had mirror images of their parents #is a really easy way to see how the perception of poor people #changed between their two eras of batman comics #like jasons parents being poor and bc of that being forced to do shitty things #to stephs mum and dad being poor and just shitty people #but the reason i dont complain about stephs background like i do with jasons now that they've retconed his parents #is bc Jason was also retconed to always be this overly angry kid #while steph literally choose to fight her fathers villainy #and everything steph does herself fights back again poor stereotypes #like how she was a teen pregnancy #so while steph fights against sterotypes jason has been retconed to play into them #and i hate it #its why i think if you want to explore the bad poor parents you do it with steph #and we should try to steer jasons back into jason was a good kid with good parents who were doomed to fail by the system

[flower-dagger-gay]

God of War is basically a dramatization of how it feels when a neurodivergent/easily distracted person attempts to do a single simple task that ends up being a 20 step process.

#i haven't played in a pretty long time but i picked it up again yesterday #the Task is now A Lot Of Tasks #While Still Being The Same Task #god of war

[creaturefeaster]

Rede has always sounded like Ghost from COD modern warfare, i have no idea why it just makes sense

WITH THAT SEMI GRAVELY BRITISH ACCENT? that's insane thats so awesome thats so so raw and unexpected. i love it.

#man i was juuuust thinking about call of duty yesterday #something in me misses it #but also a lot of me is like god i don't wanna play online ever again that's such a shitshow

[felizusnavidad]

one thing you may not know about me is that i am a huuuuge fan of assassin's creed series & guess what...

#bought myself a present yesterday #I HAVE PS4 NOW I AM BACK ON MY AC SHIT #there will be probably a lot of shitposting so you may want to block ac tag if you don't care #i've spent 8 months without playing games but we are soooo back #(yes i do have ac sideblog no i'm not gonna use it) #i am currently playing odyssey & can't wait to start the fate of atlantis since i am heavily obsessed with hadestown #so this could be fun #guess who's gonna start collecting trophies again yaaaaay #but sincerely can you hear me?*

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 19

"We're An American Band" by Grand Funk Railroad

#song of the day #though actually it might be the version by Poison I can't quite tell #I have again not done fuck all today but sleep so I'm farming the song of the day out again. to Nick this time! he's playing it downstairs #I do feel better than I did yesterday so I've high hopes that tomorrow I might be conscious for perhaps even multiple consecutive hours! #I've got so many recurring timers and alarms across the days. meds meals check my work email etc #every four hours there's one that says 'half a gatorade again you raisin' and I don't actually remember setting that one #if i'd been properly awake I'd have known to make it shorter. as it is until I unlock my screen the phone just says HALF A GATOR #which every time hits me so fucking funny but also I can't laugh for coughing #anyway I think the song of the day posts are doing wonders for my ability to tell time as I move through this intermittently-fevered limbo #it's dark outside more than half the day but also I haven't been keeping my plant lights to a schedule so my room's always lit anyway #and if it weren't for the daily DIARY SONG alarm I feel like I'd be having a lot more trouble marking off 24hr cycles #handy

[mothram]

#diana's music diary #🌗 #was supposed to talk about yesterday but aa #I played tabletops with friends pretty much though... my fairy character Órfhlaith.. not much happened but we set up on a cliffhanger... #have a lot of ideas in mind for when we get back to that game! #it's exciting! #and then today here I was playing signalis again... #at least after my brain started working #that medicine really lingers the day after #don't like it #Youtube

[fenharel]

*threatens todd with a bat* there is a good game hidden beneath all this jank todd i can see it. why did you insist on adding all these empty planets everywhere todd? why?! why the forced focus on exploration when we already always wanted to explore your games without you forcing us?!

#saskia plays starfield #i had a lot of fun last night tbh #i started the uc questline and i was pleasantly surprised how the quests where written tbh #i had a lot of personal conversations with my companions which i loved! her background and some perk she has coming up during dialogue #i did the mantis quest which was awesome #just! yesterday was great #but today. god so many instances where i was just dissociating through them loading screens again #counting damn sheep until my protag finally managed to walk 8787m through an empty planet to reach some quest area..... #it feels like im doing work sometimes which is not good #just. there is so much where im like ''god i cant wait until there is a mod for that'' dunno man. rather would have bugs rn than that #the beginning is so slow and then it becomes good. just to be constantly disrupted by its flaws #and dont get me started how unfortunate it is that new atlantis is the central hub and first impression the player gets of the game #the blandest city i have encountered yet #there are just. a couple things where i just dont understand what toddy and co. where thinking #actually i do understand but i wish it was different. oh well #sorry about the rant if anyone is reading this lmaooooo #i just hope tomorrow will be a good starfield day again. i paid enough money for this damn game #just imagine how this game could be if it where all on one map like bethy games usually are. i cannot imagine i would rant about it

[flintbian]

Well, one year to go

#well at least im trying for that #ive scheduled round two for alaska and hopefully i see the lights this time #and my second favorite band announced yesterday they're coming here with guess who? another of my favorite bands #(blackbriar and battle beast may 2024) #i literally said the other day id be happy if i got to see them and now they're coming! can you believe it #but im tired...my health has plummeted and i am not doing well #im not going to last #ive just got to hold out for these last bucket list items #so im trying for the auora again in september around the equinox #ugh it's so bad im hooked up to shit all day now and constantly have to monitor tachycardia for instance #im exhausted. i can barely breathe. it hurts so much. i never stop shaking and spasming now #but hey ive started playing dnd...finally found a group. so that's crossed off my list too and it's been very fun so far #i need to get the motivation to read all the books i want to read #it aint in my control though...i just have to hope i can hold out until september #ive been trying lots of new foods but there's still so much more i want to try #but yeah im tired...every day i wake up from pain and feel like im going to die...if i sleep at all #even clare has given up it's progressed too much #but im trying. im trying #and ive been gathering all our family photos and things so theyll have memories #me and my dad take a selfie every time he visits too #idk. there's not a whole lot i can say without making people sad but it's been so much lately #i struggle to scrape through the pain every day. it's been 14 years. i just want to be free #it's not like i want to die...i just want to be free of the pain and rest finally #wish me luck #p

[arthur-r]

lyrics: i’m a silly stupid angel, smile sweetly as you watch / and my wings are frail and brittle, and i whisper when i talk / please don’t remind me of the role i’m here to play / please god forgive me for the things that i can’t say / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / i’m your soulmate in denial, self esteem gets in the way / and i’m just a little child who won’t live to see the day / when i’m regarded as a human being too / but all your lies just start to blend into my truth / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / don’t try to tell me i’m not happy / don’t try to tell me this is wrong / don’t try to tell me that i’m broken / cause by now i’m too far gone / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment

#hi i have a very important linguistics paper due in seven hours but i am distracting myself by playing vent music #inspired by: i typed out a long tagful of venting on wednesday night and then realized it was dumb to post it but it included the words #‘​‘tomorrow i will smile like a silly stupid angel’’ and so then the next day which is yesterday when i was once again anxious #then i wrote that part into a song. and now my roommate finally left the room for long enough that i could record it. very roughly #one of those songs where i need to get to a piano and figure out what the real chords are. but here it is for now #anyway this is about suppressing yourself in order to be more easily objectified!!!! because you feel like that’s your innate purpose #the deeper meaning of your life perhaps. the person you need to actualize. that is why i wrote this song #something something i don’t actually think this wrote this during an anxiety attack etc. me when it’s 2 in the morning on a wednesday night #and i have a midterm in the morning but i’m too busy sobbing to either study or sleep. college!! so much fun!!!! #anyways. i’m normal now basically. aside from extremely important paper due seven hours from now #but here is a song right now. i feel like a lot of us are struggling in the same boat #and i definitely am. PS this is not even about my relationship that im in right now. which is good shdhdf that would be an awful start #it’s literally so inapplicable to my current relationship. but i am just still insane. and so i am still upset and afraid. so yeah #anyway i’m in a little bit of a weird way i’m sorry for speaking weird and whatever. looking forward to dinner i think #i hope everyone is doing well. and let me know if you need anything #sending love from depression dorm room. and hope everyone is holding it together okay #me. my post. mine. #delete later #ask to tag

[nevert-the-guy]

Having Minecraft thoughts from last night.

Now that you can't actually pause anymore, the End stands out as one of the only places where you can put the controller down and just... leave.

In the Overworld, you run the risk of spawning Phantoms, or if your lighting's not too great you could have Creepers waiting right outside your door.

In the Nether, all it takes is one poorly-timed Ghast fireball to completely screw you over.

But the End? Once you kill the Ender Dragon you can just, point your viewpoint to the ground and just go. Even if someone else brings it back, you could just go to the Far End, just making sure you're not too close to an End City.

It's weird. The final dimension of the game, the one thing this endless game calls an End, is, in it's own strange way, the most peaceful part of it. Yet it's home to some of the game's most dangerous mobs too, if you aren't careful. Was this peace the thing you were fighting for? This strange, nearly empty peace?

It's something to think about.

#minecraft #i just beat the ender dragon in my newest survival world yesterday #and i had Thoughts #especially since i don't have as much time to play video games anymore #coding. calculus. discrete math. #it throws a lot on my plate each week #it's stressful and this weekend was the first time in a while that i turned on my switch again #i'd say i'm just not giving myself the time #but with how much even calc alone expects from me #i think that's just me trying to put myself down further #...this started out about the funny block game...