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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

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Do you think with the influence of the editors that the redemption of the villains may be altered? I know it’s been set up with the kuds to save their counterparts. But with the retconning of E/Hawks, do you think it’s possible?

I guess in the end I just hope HK pulls through on it 😭 I’m crossing my fingers on the kids having a discussion saving their counterparts. The vagueness on their ideas excluding Deku who outright said it is getting to me lol (I’m faking about Uraraka/Shoto)

Anon: I honestly feel quite sad it’s ending soon, although all stories eventually do. I just hope he wraps up all the characters story arcs nicely and addresses the issues he implemented regarding hero society. I’d hate for it to start at square one of heroes coming back in power. Or the villains issues being tossed aside like the whole MVA arc was for nothing (especially bring up Twice’s death. HK put a lot of effort in that part, it makes no sense for it to mean NOTHING)

To answer the first question, no. I’m not worried about the ending. And I don’t think the retconning of Endeavor was the editor. I think that’s Hori alone, and I think it’s a result of one of two things. He either had the Todofam backstory planned from the get go, and didn’t handle Endeavor’s introduction well, OR he didn’t plan on redeeming Endeavor at first but then changed his mind. Either way I think everything to do with Endeavor was the author’s personal choice. That’s just how it reads to me. Also the issue with Endeavor started long before this shit editor came into play. Long, long before. Hawks, well, we’re still waiting to see what happens with him. But I’m not sure anything will really change on that front. There’s no hint of anything changing there. So idk. And idk if that’s Hori ALSO deciding that he likes Hawks and wants to just make him a straight up hero (too little too late tbh) or if that’s the editor not wanting one of the most popular characters to be called out in canon. I’ve read other people’s opinions on the Hawks debacle and the commentary all seems to fall into those two categories.

But the ending? Nah. While we have obviously seen the editor’s influence in the last arc, that didn’t change the moments that we needed to see:

So there’s not any reason to think the ending is in question. We’re still heading that way. And idk if the author would LET the editor take that away, somehow I doubt it. That’s a lot of power to give an editor. It’s not HIS story, it’s Horikoshi’s. At the end of the day he still has the final say. The editor just adjusts the style of story telling (click-and-bait story-telling is what we've been getting as of late).

Second anon: I’ll be honest and say I’m definitely expecting some things to be dropped and/or underwhelming. Really. I felt that way for a bit, but now with Shigaraki’s reappearance being sped up, I feel that a lot of things are going to be rushed. Not so much so that everything ends up sucking, but enough to where it feels like some conflicts are resolved just too quickly. Twice’s death has already been written off at this point. Hawks has been painted as a “ray of hope” for too long now to give me any hope of seeing something happen there. I mean, there is still time, and I'm still holding onto hope for now. But *gestures toward everything thus far* I'm not putting my eggs in that basket.

The villains will be saved, but in what way? Will they be saved in that straight-forward way that says "These kids have redefined the term 'hero' by saving someone who didn't want to/seemingly couldn't be saved", or will they be saved in the complex, deconstructive way that says "Society needs to be rebuilt, with the heroes being taken off their god-like pedestals so this never happens again"? Like...tbh, the story started off heading toward option #1, which would have been fine if it stuck to that. But then the war arc was very much setting us up for option #2. But THEN if you go back and look at the chapters where Ochacko had her moments, the story seems to be veering off that track and going BACK to option #1.

I say this because those chapters were going HARD CORE with the optimism. Which is good, because BNHA is optimistic anyway. But they were overlooking that deconstructing hero society path we had been hinted at getting earlier. But regardless, those chapters being overly optimistic only SOLIDIFIES those happy endings for the villains we're wanting. Especially the Toga moment, specifically because Toga was remembered during a super optimistic chapter. We're getting a happy ending, but I do think some things will be dropped or short handed (reforming society specifically--RIP).

I just want a happy ending, and I want the heroes and villains to team up and save the world together and form bonds. That's all I wanna see. That's all I'm waiting on at this point.

#bnha #bnha asks #long post #sorry #boku no hero academia #anonymous #bnha lov #bnha league of villains #bnha endgame #bnha predictions #mha #my hero academia

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elaphaemourra · 3 years

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🖊 + Any of them ~

Hooooo this is a fckn, You Have Given Me Too Much Power. I have So Many Words.

Gonna be real tho, this is gonna be a Big Thing about Mita bc I have a fckn AU where he's the Outlander and I have some FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. Bc he's part of my main continuity as an adjacent player to the IA and BH storylines, sharing agent crew/other random shit with Phaeyla for the IA stuff (he got Vector and Scorpio, Phae got the rest) and serving as Another sidequest generator for Jeni in the BH line (I give Jeni so many nerds to keep track of whoops).

(THIS IS ALREADY LONG, AND I'M ABOUT 8 PARAGRAPHS IN, SO IT'S GETTING A READ MORE WHILE I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT)

Uh, TL;DR, Mita is handling being Commander about This Well:

OK SO in NORMAL canon he goes with Lana and Koth to go fetch the Outlander (who I decided is actually one of Zal's apprentices, a Voss named Thera-nal, until Zal fckn goes 'no fuck this. I have ghost experience. Gimme the emperor u don't have to deal with this urself' and steals Valk from her bc Good Inquisidad Takes On The Oof Ghost For His Kid) and then gets fckn Ditched on Zakuul. Like straight up that whole 'get the outlander on the ship, Vaylin is 3 meters away FUCK FUCK FUCK' thing, he pushes Thera-nal on and then the ship takes off. Without him. And he does a dive off the platform bc he's like 'nah' @ Vaylin and knows he can survive a Really Long Fall. It's all very dramatic, very ciffhangery. I'm still writing the next chapter beyond that in Left Behind.

He ends up fckn, roughing it on Zakuul, gets himself a sort-of job posing as an assassination droid in a gladiator ring (bc i'm a NERD for gladiator shit), grows up, gains some confidence. Knife baby gets a grow up and a glow up. It's awesome.

BUT. BUT I HAVE AN AU WHERE HE'S THE OUTLANDER. AND IT'S AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF WHY HE SHOULD NEVER BE IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING EVER.

He and Lana don't like each other. It's a Thing. They can put their differences aside for the sake of Professionalism or when they give each other the 'r u seeing this shit' Look when someone else is being Stupid in both their opinions, but they don't like each other (this is true in the normal canon as well, they're very antagonistic to each other, it's a little silly how petty it is but it's Fun). Despite this, and their tendencies to piss each other off on purpose, Mita thinks she's the most tolerable of the initial Pile of People. The Conflict between Koth and Senya was A Lot for him to handle, and he doesn't do Leadership Positions very well. About an hour after they picked Senya up, he was already out of patience.

The constant arguing got to him SO FAST, it ran him out of patience and Fucks so quickly, he started getting real snippy. By the time they got to asylum he was throwing around threats to people who couldn't keep their Shit to themselves. He TRIED to do good things, to pull together enough patience and good will to be Benevolent in his actions, but as his patience fell apart, so did basically everything else good. Mita getting Tora was a whole Thing where he did the Nice Thing by making her apologize to Vik and when she talked back he turned around and drew a knife on her, told her to keep her mouth shut if she was going to complain because he WOULD kill her, and he DIDN'T need an engineer/mechanic THAT much. That he'd use her corpse as payment for the next batch of cargo, which, MITA. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.

He started falling into MUCH older patterns of thinking, refusing to take any action that was Any risk to himself. It's a thought process he had before he got shoved full of implants, before he realized that he could be a Better Person and started being a rebellious little shit in Intelligence and taking risks that helped Other People instead of just being single-mindedly focused on his own self-preservation.

He's falling back into it, which is BRUTAL because he's making more and more devastating choices, and where he saved people by shutting down that reactor on the First blip of Zakuul, before he ran out of Patience and Fear, and he did Good Lightsided Things to Help People, he just went off with Kaliyo to blow the absolute shit out of that whole thing, and where he used to be like 'shit, we need to make things Better', now he's started talking about Vengeance. Which uh. Does me a Concern about Knife Baby.

Basically none of the advisors actually LIKE him. At best, Senya and him have a solid enough mutual understanding of Work Vs Free Time between them, but she's also Pissed that he keeps taking the Big Death Options and fucking over her citizens. Theron's basically constantly giving him the Pensive Side-Eye because of how consistently Freaky Mita has become. Their first interaction was Prickly at best, and Mita hasn't gained any more patience.

Ofc, Mita and Lana just Don't get along, but they at least vibe on the level of 'i am So Done with everyone here' and she's pulled him aside more than once to get him to cool off a little. Though mostly she pawned him off on HK, when the droid was still aroujd, so she's at least Done Something for his mental state, and he liked that droid enough for talking with him being Relaxing. Kind of.

He's a volatile Commander who Can and Will pull people who irritate him aside to threaten them with mortal or bodily harm, or yeet a datapad at the wall for that Big Sound, or just punch a wall while he's got gauntlets on, to get everyone to Shut Up and Pay Attention so he can yell at them for not keeping their Interpersonal Shit out of the war room and out of his presence. He's basically single-handedly driving the Alliance into the ground, driving it forwards through pure force of will and by making people scared enough to work together without Complaining, hoping that Arcann will give before he or the Alliance do.

He's refused every offer by Valkorion for Everything, and right now that's his saving grace.

Koth bounced, furious with Mita and Kaliyo's 'let's blow this bitch up' thing, and Mita's little circle of people he Actually Likes has uh, maybe Not the greatest influences among them. His inner circle is Kaliyo, Scorpio, Tora (which surprised me, but they are Remarkably chill with each other for people whose introduction was Humiliation and Death Threats, like, a 'they'd vibe and drink in a dark corner together' sort of deal), and Even More Surprising, Aric Jorgan.

Completely separate from the Alliance Advisory Squad, Jorgan seems to be REALLY good for Mita. He's just kinda, it's Working Out. Mita's doing Nicer Shit when Jorgan's around. I'm not sure if it's just, the lack of Shit-Stirrers, the comfort and familiarity of military company, Jorgan's 'ur not the boss of me' thing back in the swamps on Zakuul, or what. But Mita's doing Good Shit when that rad cat man's around. Hell, it might be that he just doesn't want to disappoint his new friend. But like, they're actually a STELLAR team friendship-wise. Mita's actually Relaxed enough to get shit done efficiently, do LIGHTSIDED SHIT, and he basically ONLY brings Jorgan when he goes raiding star fortresses. Kaliyo and Scorpio are higher up on Mita's 'would send out alone' list, but only because he worked with Kaliyo when he and Phaeyla got assigned to each other, and Scorpio was HIS team member.

Even with that though, Mita's reputation among Alliance personnel isn't a Kind one. He's terrifying, volatile and quick to snap at anyone and everyone who gets on his nerves. People avoid him in the halls unless they Absolutely Need Him, and there's ABSOLUTELY a network of people you can ask as a 'where's the Commander now' if you really need to spend the day Avoiding Him.

He's also leaned Heavily into the aesthetic of Big Scary. Dressed like a Sith all in black and white and grey (and a Republic insignia on his belt just for the added cognitive dissonance that gives him), with a Delightfully Menacing Helmet that makes him nigh unreadable. The voice modulation is something he Knows how to use to make himself more intimidating, and he knows how to hold himself to make Pointed Silence into something that can cause fear. He really leaned into that 'scaring people into working for you' thing, which isn't sustainable, and he KNOWS it isn't, but he's hoping to get shit done fast enough that it won't MATTER how unsustainable that type of leadership is.

He's Stressed and Tired and Angry, and he's going down a deep dark hole. He needs to be fckn, sat down and Confronted about where he's going because he MADE that choice to be better, on BALMORRA. It cost him his free will, his autonomy, and his identity. He was PHYSICALLY unable to say his own name without his upper body motor function locking up, for a long time, because it was part of the programming of his implants. He gave Everything up to be Better, and it took so much to get those things back, and now he's squandering it all by falling back into who he used to be.

He needs some Time to Chill The Fuck Out, an Intervention for what he's doing with himself, and a goddam nap.

Knife Baby is Stressed Out. He's the Team Medic. He was never designed to be In Charge, and it took its toll Very Quickly, and it's devolved into something Brutal and Unsustainable. Which is why this is an AU, and why my Canon Commander for the timeline is Zal.

Zal's a good leader, good under pressure, patient and fair almost to a fault, and a good person.

Mita can't handle the strain, and he KNOWS it. But he's doing it anyways, and will drag the people around him down with him if it means he'll win in the end. And in the mean time, he's frustrated, volatile, and Not Very Fun To Be Around.

#ela's asks #ela babbles #mita #outlander mita #swtor #swtor kotfe #Mita Lore #Outlander Mita Lore #ela does an ask meme #WELCOME TO THIS #AN UNHOLY AMOUNT OF PARAGRAPHS #you unleashed the fuckin kraken my friend #g o o d l u c k

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spectraspecs-writes · 4 years

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Tatooine - Chapter 60

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 59. Chapter 61.

@averruncusho @marie39544 thank you for reading you get a tag.

A/N: I had a whole note written out but tumblr did me dirty and wouldn’t let me post. Suffice it to say since I can’t leave the house to do my job I’ve got more time to type. Now it just means finding the motivation lol

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I meet Bastila back at the Czerka office and take the vaporators from her. I also trade the gaffi sticks I got earlier to the protocol officer, which quickly earns me back the 200 credits Bastila spent on the vaporators. Juhani also asks if she can return to the ship - something about the desert disagreeing with her. Honestly, I’d go back, too, but the Sand People are expecting me to return, not one of the others.

Mission also asks to come, in a way that there’s no saying no to. “If the Sand People killed Griff, they’ll have to answer to me!” she says.

“Mission, I already went through all this effort to handle the situation peacefully,” I tell her.

“Well… okay, they’ll have to answer to me peacefully!” she corrects herself. There’s no telling her no, clearly, so she comes along. Just for Griff, though. If things go south with the Sand People, I don’t want her at risk.

We make the trek back through the desert to the Sand People enclave. (Mission even takes down the mines), and we meet one of the guards at the door. He is obviously not happy to see us, but his Chieftain told him to wait, so he waited. He’s probably been standing here for about an hour. Even through the layers of wrappings, I can tell that he absolutely hates us being here. I give him a nod of acknowledgement and look to HK. “Tell him we have the vaporators,” I say, and HK does.

“Translation: He will take us before the Chieftain, as he was instructed to do.”

If I can read anything of how the Chieftain is feeling, which is tricky even with the Force, I can tell that the Chieftain is surprised to see me back. He says something and HK translates. “Translation: He did not expect us to return, master. He wonders if we have brought the moisture vaporators.”

I set my pack down and pull them out - it’s a set of two, very lightweight. “I’ve got them right here.”

Another surprised sound, and words from the Chieftain. “Translation: He does not trust you, master, but you have done more than any other outsider. They will not attack, and he grants you his Chieftain's Gaffi as reward.” Well that worked out, didn’t it? “The attacks will be reduced, and he will allow you to explore this enclave, but be warned that any lack of respect will result in death.”

I try to nod my thanks, but I’m not sure how well it comes off. Mission comes up from behind me and asks, quite firmly, “What about Griff? Where’s my brother?”

HK looks at me, and I give him the go-ahead to ask. The Chieftain tells him, and HK translates, “Translation: He says that by his very presence, this Griff defiles their home and land. He is without any semblance of usefulness to them.”

“Yep, that would be Griff,” Mission says.

“Extrapolation: I would assume we are free to take him. It is doubtful they will even waste the effort to kill him. Perhaps we could do it, master?”

“You’ve got weird taste in droids, Rena,” Mission says, clearly fighting the urge to rip HK’s head off.

“Ask about those Jawas for Iziz as well.”

“Translation: He says that the captive Jawas are slaves and that have lived past their usefulness. You may take them, if you wish.”

“Thank you,” I say, “That’s all we need.”

“Translation: We are free to leave.”

The Sand People enclave is shaped like a big circle of canvas and cloth. Rooms have been cordoned off using the same wood slats that made up the main door. But it’s all different. Different kinds of wood, different grains. There’s clearly some local plant life, desert plants. Banthas are pretty big and in order to support that size long term, there would have to be some native plants. But no trees, there’s not enough water, no stable soil. Things like that can’t grow here. Odds are it’s wood they salvaged from Czerka or other people who’ve come to this planet looking for something to sell. In some places the wood has been replaced with metal, replaced where it’s rotted. The cloth has been woven from Bantha fur - it’s thin and it doesn’t insulate very well, but it clearly keeps sand out. Any supplies they have are stored in plasteel cylinders salvaged from Czerka or a tight wicker. Mostly plasteel, though - if I were there I wouldn’t waste the rare grasses on woven goods. What surprises me though is the lack of glass. A place with all this sand, I would expect a lot of glass. But on the other hand, glass is fragile and heavy, so it doesn’t lend itself well to a nomadic species. Bantha wool on the other hand is lighter and foldable, and if it tears it can be repaired. Worst comes to worst, just shear the Bantha again.

Any rooms I peer into looking for Griff and the Jawas I close once I see they’re not in there. Most doors are on the inside of the circular track, but at one point there are two rooms opposite each other. If it were me, I would keep my prisoners close to each other. The fact that there are four Sand People here all but confirms it. “Are your prisoners here?” I ask, and HK translates.

“Translation: Affirmative, master.”

“Your chieftain said we could take them.” HK translates, and they leave. So first I open the door on the inside of the track. There are three Jawas inside, which means Griff must be on the other side. “Carth, Bastila, you take the Jawas,” I tell them, “Mission, let’s say hi to your brother.”

I pull the door open, and I can hear someone moving anxiously on the other side, standing up, and I think I hear the words “Kriffing bones.” But then he sees me - looks a lot like Mission, so it’s got to be Griff - sees that I’m human, and relaxes. “Uh... you there! I'm... I'm a high ranking executive of the Czerka Corporation!” Ha! “Eh... there's a big reward if you take me back to Anchorhead!” Good grief.

“Griff, don't you recognize me?” Mission says, sounding agonized, disappointed, “It's Mission!”

Griff’s face changes as he looks at her, really looks at her. “Mission?” he says, in complete disbelief, “Is it really you? I heard Taris was destroyed! I thought you were dead!” He hugs her. Mission doesn’t know how she feels about it. “Joy of joys, my little sister is alive!”

“I…” Mission stammers a little, pushing Griff back, “Griff, I have to ask you something. It's important. I… I ran into Lena. She... she said it was your idea to leave me on Taris. It's not true, is it?”

Wow, if Twi’leks could sweat. “Ah, well... there's the truth and then there's the truth, you know? I always meant to go back to Taris, sis,” he says, talking very quickly, “Just as soon as I had the credits to pay off my debts. But credits have been hard to come by.”

“You mean it's true?” Mission’s eyes start to water. “It was your idea to leave me there?” I want to comfort her, but I know she’s not done. “I'm your sister! How could you abandon me like that?”

“Come on, sis. You didn't need me to look after you anymore.” Griff, that is beside the point. “You may have been young, but you knew how to take care of yourself.” She’s fifteen! “Besides, you're here now - everything worked out fine!”

“That's it? That's all you have to say to me after all these years after deserting me on Taris?”

“Well,” Griff says, “that and uh... could you please get me out of here? You've got a tough looking friend there.”

Flattery will get you nowhere. “The Sand People said you can go. Go on to Anchorhead.”

“What, no speeder escort?”

“Griff…” Mission growls warningly.

“Okay, okay,” he backs off, “I should just take what I can get.” He doesn’t move, though.

“What?” Mission says brusquely, “Is there something else?”

“Uh... well, I... I wanted to thank you,” he says, “and, uh, you look like you're doing well. Financially, I mean.” Good grief. “Say... um... could you spare me a few credits to get back on my feet?”

“You... you're hitting me up for credits?” Mission says in disbelief, “I don't believe this! Lena was right about you, Griff! We should have just left you to the Sand People! Don't talk to me anymore - ever!” And she storms away. Carth looks where she goes, and thinks about following her, but changes his mind. She doesn’t go far, anyway.

“Huh…” Griff says, “...that didn't go well. Sis always was a little too fiery for her own good. She'll cool down in time.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

“Ah, she'll be okay,” he says nonchalantly, “We've had our fights before. Too bad, though. I could really have used a helping hand right now.” He pauses, and I can feel something change in his expression. “Say, uh…”

“Don’t even think about asking me for credits.”

Then his expression shifts again. “Huh - I... uh... guess you've been talking to Lena, too. That's okay - I'll figure out a way to get by without your credits. I always do. Besides, I've already got a job lined up for me.” Then why bother asking me for credits? “Greeta, the manager over at the Czerka supply shop, said I could come work for him if I ever get tired of the mines. I think I'll go take him up on his offer.

“You know, maybe there's something else you can help me with.” I’m too nice for my own good. “I need to talk to a guy first and set up the details, but if you're interested in a job come see me in Greeta's shop.” He starts to go, and passes Mission on his way out. “Goodbye, Mission,” he says, “Uh... I'm glad you're not dead.” Mission huffs at him and turns away as he leaves.

The Jawas aren’t too far behind him. “They’re on their way back to Anchorhead,” Bastila says.

“Yeah, we’ll want to head that way in a bit,” I say, “Iziz, their chieftain, says he knows something about the Star Map. I’m gonna check on Mission, you guys get a head start. HK, how many hours until first sunset?”

“Answer: Approximately four hours, master.”

“Cool. Depending on how far the Star Map is, we may want to stay another night before we get it.” Bastila, Carth, and HK start going toward the exit. I go to Mission. “Hey, you good?”

“I can’t believe him!” she says, more angry than sad, “I’m happy Griff’s alive but I’m mad at him right now.”

“Understandable.”

“And I don't know what kind of job he's got for you, but I don't trust him. It's probably just another scam!”

“Well, I’ve got to stop by the Czerka office anyway to trade in the Chieftain’s gaffi. I’ll see what he has to say, but I won’t make him any promises.”

Mission sighs. “You’re a good person,” she says, “Maybe if there were more people like you, Griff wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Somehow I doubt that. A scam artist is a scam artist. Life situation may affect the type of scam or who they scam, but they will scam just the same. But Mission doesn’t need me to tell her that. She knows. “We’ll never know, I guess,” I say, “Come on, let’s get back to Anchorhead.”

“Yeah, this heat is killing me.”

#knights of the old republic #star wars #kotor #fiction #autistic artist #star wars knights of the old republic #kotor fic #specs writes stuff #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #carth onasi #bastila shan #mission vao #griff vao #hk-47 #tatooine #chapter 60

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lokbobpop · 3 years

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Escape

An escape can be the act of escaping, like an escape from prison, but an escape can also be a calming retreat, like a vacation that gets you away from the stress of everyday life. As a verb, escape also means, "to fail to experience or know.” If the humor escapes you, you don't find the joke funny.

Escape is made up of the Latin prefix ex-, which means “out of,” and the Latin word cappa, which means “head covering” or “cloak.”

Escape esc ape e scape esca pe a scape

Writing the word escape

I worked in bar in hk which was taken over by some pretty bad Vietnamese guys with guns and i was petrified i was so scared they wanted money but we didnt give it and it went on for hours and hours until the sun came up in the morning people started walking around and they started to feel uncomfortable and we finally escaped got out i was really terrified the whole time and worried what they would do the whole event seem to last forever and it was problem only 6/7 hours all i wanted was to escape get out.

I see i have a mind construct that comes up of needing to escape i dont know if it was created the above event but i have flashed of fear of being trapped and bad things happening to me im working on it for sure as its a big one and covers many parts/levels because i had allowed it to happen and im currently unpicking it.

Reading escape

Th be movie escape from Alcatraz i thought how it might be like to be in prison how awful life must of been.

The great escape the war movie from 60s or 70s with lots of american and British actors where they try to escape war camps fear of Germans seeing it as a kid that people can do this to other people and there was some bad people out there.

Saying escape

Like a near miss i just escaped death sor of saying when you nearly got hit or fell and only by luck you get out comes up.

There is meant to be a earth quake where i live and a tsunami the tsunami id first and im beach front in the area its affected and for a long time i was scared and still when i hear a load noice coming from the beach direction i think is this it is it coming now ? But i now see it as living in chronological order i will have the signs to get out in time so why the fear ?its my unknown personality it come up to keep me locked in fear the unknown personality has good reason and says wow shit id going to happen as this personality runs deep and for many year that something will happen to me and it thrives off me building up energy of fear for me to live by but do i need this fear no i dont so should i be in fear all day every day no have every thought lead onto fear of im going to die at any given second and see my death as horrific and painful no i shouldn’t i need to live this my last life to its fullest i need to drop and try living without it or ill never know me and what its like to be free of these fears so i let them go i let them be i am me and we are ok for sure and i just need to keep my process up and going.

I see this a bigger word than i thought lol so escaping my mind which is my top priority at the moment s all the fears blame comparisons anger survival ego has to go it has to be broken down bit by bit until its not there anymore like this writing over and over gain so its no more im taking directive principle of myself im taking charge now no more fear ego survival i say what i want to think about i say this is how i want to live.

As lone as i keep on top of my thoughts and say no more or to here no more i will get this job done it takes time picking each one out but im enjoying the process now i have a handle i can see clearer

Does this definition support me no fear of unknown personality fear of death personality being in pain and terror all come up with int he word

Escape estate

Escape

To find myself within myself to be free of my mind

Free movement within me purpose meaning uncovered

I will live this word with escaping the clutches of the mind to be free within myself im one with my body and mind there is no power struggle

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ncfan-1 · 6 years

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Rewriting Malachor V

If you’ve played KOTOR II like I have, especially if you’ve played it more than once, the Malachor V stage, which was atmospheric and appropriately creepy on first play, gets a bit… tedious on replays, especially if you’re playing without the Restored Content Mod. It doesn’t feel like a stage the way the other planets do. It just feels like an endless boss fight that drags on and on and on, with little to punctuate it, and it just gets… boring. What’s worse is that, while the companions do get a couple of moments to shine, they aren’t allowed to do very much, which given the amount of emphasis the game puts on the Exile’s relationships with these people and on their importance in general, really isn’t good. And I understand that a lot of this is a natural consequence of the fact that Obsidian just wasn’t allowed the time they needed to finish this game, but I’ve thought of some ways the Malachor V stage could be made more interesting, could put more focus on the companions, and be made to feel more like a planetary stage the way the others were.

This post assumes an LS Exile (Since I’ve never played the Exile DS and the idea of doing so holds no interest for me). Also, since I’ve only played as a female Exile, I’m wary of modding my game too much, and I have no interest in playing as a male Exile, I have relatively little familiarity with Brianna. I know about her, don’t get me wrong, I’ve read through the Jedi Jesus Let’s Play and I’ve seen other posts about her, but while I can think of a couple of ways she could contribute here, there are probably other people who could think of more things for her to do here. So, with that in mind:

First, some general notes:

- The enemies you encounter on the surface of Malachor V should be diversified. If the game really wants us to believe that the planet is still inhabitable after everything that happened to us, there should be more than one type of hostile animal on the surface. There should also be, like, Sith outposts or listening posts on the surface of the planet, where they monitor the skies for any evidence that hostile ships have come to attack the Academy. The hierarchy of enemies on the surface (excepting Hanharr and the beast you find in the giant pen—more on that later) should go like this:

two or three smaller beasts, with roughly the same toughness as the tuk’ata you find on Korriban -> the storm beasts, which appear more rarely than the smaller beasts, and should probably not be allowed to deal out 100 in damage in one hit -> non-Force-sensitive Sith officers, more common than the storm beasts but less common than the smaller beasts -> Dark Jedi, much less common -> Sith lord, extremely uncommon; you run into maybe two or three of them across the whole surface of Malachor V.

- This is a Doylist gripe and perhaps not entirely realistic from a Watsonian perspective, but when dead enemies drop loot, they don’t drop credits. After all, what’s the point? This is the last stop in the game and it’s not like there’s a merchant here. Instead, the enemies drop (in the case of Force-wielders) lightsabers, armor, robes, useful items, and lightsaber crystals appropriate to the character’s level. Also health packs. Lots and lots of health packs (Though to be fair, they do that already). Some of them drop datapads for mini-quest-relevant information, or other quest items.

So, about Malachor V…:

- First, the prelude. On the way over to Malachor V, while the Exile is sleeping or meditating or something, the non-droid companions have a meeting. Basically, they know that the Exile is planning on heading out to confront Kreia by herself, that she’s trying both to shield them from the danger and trying to draw away from them because even if what the Jedi Masters said to her on Dantooine was myopic, blinded-by-fear-and-ignorance-bullshit, it’s still wormed its way into her head and she’s afraid of unconsciously manipulating her companions—and leading them to their deaths against their will.

But this is a game where free will is important, and if you’re playing as a Light Side Exile, it really doesn’t look as though she’s been psychically dominating her companions. They all have their reasons to go to her and their reasons to stay with her that can’t be explained that way. It’s not as though she hasn’t been influencing them in any way at all—see the conversation she can have with Mira, noting that even though Mira has avowed her refusal to kill, she’s been killing without compunction since joining up with the Exile—but for the most part, this influence is above-board. None of them are at all interested in letting the Exile go it alone on Malachor V.

- The Ebon Hawk crashes on the surface of Malachor V as per canon. While the ship is crashing, the loading ramp is forced open and, while trying to get it shut again, Mira is sucked out of the ship, thus explaining why she wakes up on the ground so far below the Ebon Hawk. Everyone asides from the droids is knocked unconscious in the crash, and wake up at differing points.

- Remote isn’t knocked out and sets out immediately to fulfill Bao-Dur’s orders. In this version, since Remote is heading out before the Exile has the chance to clear the area of any storm beasts, Remote has a bit more combat and defensive capability; Bao-Dur’s upgrades actually amount to something here. It can move faster than in canon, its shots pack a bit more punch (though it’s not the powerhouse T3-M4 can potentially be with his shock arm). Remote still has to sneak past the storm beasts, but the Sith won’t bother with it since it’s just a droid, and it can move fast enough to outrun the smaller beasts on the surface of the planet.

Past this, Remote’s mission plays out the same as in canon. Once it activates all the Republic warships, G0-T0 shows up and menaces it. At that point, HK-47 shows up because G0-T0 needs a killin’ and no way is he going to let anyone else handle that job. The HK-51s show up and, depending on whether HK-47 was able to program them to be loyal to him, he either has to fight them or they fight by his side when killing G0-T0. Upon dispatching G0-T0, HK-47 (and the HK-51s, if they’re loyal to him) heads back to the Ebon Hawk to make sure his escape route is kept safe.

- One by one, the non-droid companions wake up, and they start to carry out their own mini-quests before reaching Malachor V. In this case, each group must disable and/or destroy a Sith outpost they run into on the way to the Trayus Academy. At any point, if anyone asides from the Exile dies, they die permanently. If one member of a party dies but the rest lives, they don’t wake up at the end of the fight. If the whole party dies, you aren’t prompted to reload your last save game; it just skips to the next segment. Obviously, you can go into the load game list and reload your last save game to keep them alive, but I thought this feature might add a bit more weight to what is supposed to be one of the most evil, dangerous places in the galaxy, as well add more weight to the last stage of the game.

- Mira wakes up first, and we get the little cut scene about her commenting on the scenery, before it switches back to the next segment.

- Atton and Mical both wake up at around the same time. Their dialogue as they fight their way across the surface of Malachor might be strained sniping or it might be reflective of a tentative, uneasy camaraderie, depending on the way the Exile has treated them both through the course of the game, how much influence she has with them both, and just how far up the Light Side scale she, and by extension, them, is. When they reach the outpost, there should be an opportunity for some drama. Maybe somebody recognizes Atton as a Sith deserter, or maybe Mical recognizes someone he knew from his time as an initiate at the Dantooine Enclave. They take control of the outpost, and we cut to the next segment.

- Canderous, Visas, and Brianna (if you have her in the party) wake up next. This time, it’s Canderous helping Visas get up, to bookend their last exchange on the Ravager before they blew that ship to hell. Canderous and Visas’s dialogue reflects the camaraderie they formed on the Ravager, reflects their significantly improved relationship, maybe reflects the echoes of Revan Canderous sees in Visas. If Brianna’s in the party, her dialogue with Visas runs along the same lines as the dialogue Atton and Mical can potentially have. They have the opportunity to slice into the computer system in the outpost and with a high enough Computer Use and Security skill, decode some journal entries by the officer in charge of the outpost about transmissions coming from somewhere out further in the Unknown Regions. They blow up their designated outpost, and we cut to Mira’s segment.

- When Mira gets to and takes control of her outpost, she discovers a spaceship with a working hyperdrive in a hangar, and part of her “take over the outpost” mini-quest involves finding a code to get the hangar bay doors open so that the ship could potentially leave Malachor V if needed. This will potentially be important for later, and is a mandatory part of the mini-quest; Mira isn’t allowed to step outside the outpost until she's done this. When Mira steps outside the outpost, she confronts Hanharr as per canon, fighting and defeating him, and convincing him to take her to Kreia.

- When the Exile wakes up, it’s only her, Bao-Dur, and T3-M4 on the ship—HK-47 hasn’t gotten back yet. The Exile wakes Bao-Dur up and orders him and T3 to stay with the ship, because she needs to find the others, and because “[they] need to get away quickly once [her] business [there] is done.”

Malachor V is, for the Exile, like the tomb of Ludo Kressh on Korriban, except even worse. Part of it is the powerful Dark Side energy of the planet, part of it is the Exile’s PTSD, but she’s seeing Force visions (and possible hallucinations; it quickly gets to the point where it’s impossible to tell which is which) everywhere she goes. None of them attack her the way the visions in the tomb did, but she sees Jedi who were at the Battle of Malachor V dying in agony, she sees flashes of Revan masked and cloaked that disappear when she comes close, flashes of Malak whispering promises of power and answers, she sees a faceless figure writing in agony before becoming a void of stars and dark matter and unceasing hunger. And the storm beasts seem drawn to her as if she was emitting some sort of homing signal…

The Sith don’t attack her. Similar to the Sith Assassins outside the Academy doors, they treat her with a level of deference that is frankly disturbing.

- All the Kreia-Sion dialogues play out as they do in canon.

- The beast in the pen outside of the Trayus Academy isn’t a greater storm beast, because part of this rewrite is to inject greater creativity into the Malachor V stage. Instead, it’s a drexl. No, not a drexl larva like what we saw back on Onderon; it’s a full-grown drexl. Now, the drexl isn’t in the best shape, since it’s not in its native habitat and its wings have been clipped to keep it from up and flying away, but it still packs a wallop. Its toughness is roughly equivalent to the greater storm beast of canon; it can do 300 in damage in one hit, but if you’ve buffed your Exile enough you can do like I did and take it down in two rounds.

- The Kreia vs. companions confrontation plays out as in canon, except this time we also have a scene of Canderous trying to disable Academy security, only to be jumped by some of the students. They’re going to kill him, except Sion intervenes and tells them their master wants Canderous thrown in a cell with the others.

- The Atton vs. Sion battle plays out as in canon, with both of the possible outcomes intact.

- The Exile makes her way through the Academy, cutting a bloody swathe through the Sith as she goes. She can slice her way into a computer terminal at some point and read log entries about reports of activity in the Unknown Regions and old attempts on Kreia’s part to find out where Revan went after the events of the first game, all with the shadow of the enemy moving in the dark casting a long shadow over everything.

- Eventually, the Exile makes her way over to the cells where her companions are being kept. Upon freeing them (assuming the Exile doesn’t gas them all, which is an option in the game for reasons I don’t wish to contemplate), she, as per canon, asks Canderous to get them all safely back to the ship. Upon realizing that Atton isn’t with them, she tells the party that she’ll look for him and make sure he gets out safely, and that they shouldn’t wait for either of them.

- Immediately after this segment is done, we cut back to the Ebon Hawk. Bao-Dur and T3 are working on repairs, are almost done getting the loading ramp to close again so the ship can take off without everyone being sucked into space. They are, perhaps, having a conversation in which they express their worries about the Exile, about getting away from here safely; Bao-Dur again expresses his regrets about having caused all of this devastation, regrets that are amplified by being back on the surface of the planet itself. HK-47 (and the HK-51s, depending) returns to the ship just in time to inform Bao-Dur and T3 that a Sith boarding party is en route. Their mission now is to defend the ship and keep it from being taken over or destroyed by the Sith.

This is the point in which the Mira mini-quest with the other ship becomes important. It’s important because if you both fail to keep the Ebon Hawk safe, and Mira dies at any point during the Malachor V stage, you have no way off the planet, and you’re fucked.

If Bao-Dur and company succeed in driving off the boarding party, they decide they need to move the ship to a safer location as soon as they’re done fixing the loading ramp.

- The Exile continues to fight her way through the Academy, looking for Atton and Kreia both. She eventually finds her way to the room where the final Sion encounter triggers. If Atton lost that fight, there’s a big red smear of blood on the floor. The Exile vs. Sion fight occurs as per usual.

- Immediately after the last fight with Sion, we cut back to our party of companions who are desperately trying to escape the Trayus Academy. After many trials and battles, they have finally made it to the back door! …And it’s locked. Nobody can slice their way through. Nobody can blast or cut their way through. The door is sealed. Mical (or Brianna, depending on who you have in your party) determines that the door can only be opened with a Sith holocron, so… fetch-quest!

Yes, our party now has go rooting through everybody’s sock drawers to look for a Sith holocron; the back of the Academy happens to be where everyone’s quarters are. If you’re diligent and you search every room, you can actually find a Jedi holocron secreted away. Mical and/or Brianna takes one look at the thing and goes “…I’m just gonna take this. This really doesn’t need to be here.”

To get into the room where the Sith holocron can be found, you have to correctly answer a logic puzzle. I’m not quite what kind of logic puzzle; I just know this stage could be improved by logic puzzles. When you get into the room, it’s somebody’s quarters, but larger (And the stuff in the room gives the strong impression that these are Kreia’s quarters). There is a large footlocker at the back wall of the room that you can’t answer without answering another logic puzzle, this one harder than the last. But by this point, the team cannot be stopped by a logic puzzle, and they get the Sith holocron.

The team heads back to the back door, only to find Hanharr waiting for them there. He’s irate because Kreia didn’t kill either Mira or him, and he’s still stuck with his life-debt to Mira. When he and Mira fight, even though Hanharr is badly injured, he hits even harder than before and is immune to critical hits. Mira refuses to kill him, but when she’s walking back to the group, Hanharr tries to attack her from behind. Canderous shoots him, and thus ends Hanharr the Wookiee. They plug in the Sith holocron, unlock the back door, and get the hell out of dodge.

- The rest of the end stage proceeds as normal.

All in all, it’s not the same as the other planets we’ve had. I’d say this modified stage has more in common with the Korriban stage than, say, Dantooine or Nar Shaddaa. But it would definitely make the Malachor V stage less of a slog, and make it feel more like a finished stage. And it would give our companions the kind of end-stage focus they deserve.

#Star Wars: KOTOR II #Meta #Star Wars #KOTOR #KOTOR 2 #Malachor V

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kazosa · 7 years

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Secrets - SoA: Prologue

Summary: Female!Reader has lived in a life full of secrets. When her father dies unexpectedly and sends her on a trip all over the country, she finds out just how much like her father she really is. The end of her trip brings her to Charming, CA where she finally gets some big pieces of her family puzzle put back in place and form new relationships with the people there. Prologue: The reader grows up and is about to begin the journey. Warnings: angst, mentions of cancer and death, angry parent, talk of weapons A/N: This is a little taste of what is to come. Backstory is important! Word Count: 1339 Tags: (thanks for being here from the start!) @telford-ortiz-teller @sam-samcro IF YOU WISH TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN SOME WAY. ASK BOX IS SAFEST WAY, BUT I DO TRY TO LOOK AT ALL COMMENTS AND REBLOGS. COMMENTS WELCOME!

masterlist

You didn’t talk about it. You weren’t allowed. If you asked about anything that happened before you moved to Iowa, your mom would shut it down in a heartbeat or completely ignore you. Your dad would just say, “It’s better if we don’t talk about it, kiddo.” After a while, you stopped asking and eventually it got difficult to remember anything that had happened. As you got older you only had little flashes of memories before your 5th birthday. Your dad meant the world to you and he was your biggest mystery. His life before Iowa was off limits. No names were ever mentioned, no family. It was always “my friend” or “my buddy.” When your mom would go away for weekends with her friends, your dad would teach you things and he would always say “Don’t tell your mom.” There was no way in hell you would ever rat your dad out, not ever. Not only did you get to spend time with him, but he got to relax and teach you cool things like how to survive in the wilderness with nothing, how to ride his motorcycle, how to fix the motorcycle, practicing the kickstart, how to shoot, and everything else he could think of that you might need to know. Hell, he even taught you how to hotwire a car…which lead to your first, and not last, run-in with the law. Whenever you did something wrong, your mother liked to remind you that “you’re just like your father!” as if it were a bad thing. In her eyes, all of the trouble you got into was because of your dad’s influence on you. She didn’t like how close you were with your dad, either. She made it seem like the two of you were out to get her. By the time you were 18, your mother and you barely spoke unless it was to berate you for whatever it was she found issue. The straw that broke your mother happened when you’d gotten picked up for boosting a Porsche 911 GT, and, in your ultimate 18-year-old brilliance, you raced the car in traffic and wrecked it. After a month in the hospital, you left with a set of scars and were promptly arrested for grand theft. The judge gave you the option of jail or military. You took the military option. The Army was good for you and it got you away from your mother for 4 years. You served your term then went to college to become an accountant like your dad. He brought you into the company and showed you all of the loop holes to help clients make the most of their money. Everything you did was legal, but borderline. Your dad had certain clients that only he handled. He said they were too sensitive and you should stay away. Just more secrets. But you did get to be really good at making money for people and filing their taxes, you were a natural. Your dad died unexpectedly. He never said that he wasn’t well. He kept his pain to himself and by the time he said anything, the cancer was so advanced, there was no help for him. The doctors said he had probably been living with the pain for months. After the official diagnosis, he went quick. A few weeks after the funeral, the will was read and you were surprised to find that your dad had prepared something for you. The intense irritation that was coming from your mother made even the lawyer uncomfortable. She clearly did not know it was coming, either. Another secret… “Mrs. (Y|L|N), I need to have you leave the room for this,” the lawyer said. Her outrage was palpable but she got up and stormed out. The lawyer closed the door gently and didn’t say another word, he just pulled up a video file on his computer and played it for you. “Hi kiddo. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I just didn’t want to go through all of that. I want you to know that you’ve always made me proud of everything you’ve done, and I do mean everything. To this day, I don’t think Mom knows it was you that boosted that 911GT. I told her it was your piece of shit Grand Am that got wrecked. So, sorry about that… Now, onto the good part. I’m leaving it all to you, leaving enough for your mother to live on comfortably. That still leaves plenty for you both. The company is set up good, so you can do this thing I want you to do. It’ll still be there when you get back and Jack has been running it all for a while now, so no worries. What I want you to do is this; take my bike, ride it through the lower 48. Motorcycles were a huge part of my life before Iowa and I want you to know what it was that I liked about it so much. It’s something that has to be experienced. I know I still haven’t told you about my past, but this will help. I was a nomad for a long time, but I spent most of my downtime in Charming. So, I want you to end the trip in Charming, CA on March 13 at Teller-Morrow Automotive. That’s it, kiddo. No big deal, right? Use all the stuff I taught you. Frank here has a few things from me to take with you. Don’t let your mom see, she’ll flip her shit, it’ll be bad enough that I’m sending you on this trip. I love you, kiddo, and I know you love me, so don’t you worry about anything that we didn’t get to say. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Leaving Charming was the right thing to do for us at the time. I just need to make sure you know that.”

Jesus Christ… you were wiping the tears that had welled up. Neither one of you had ever been very sentimental, but when you were, you were both blubbering messes. You really were your father’s child. The “Frank” your dad referred to was the lawyer. He was busy getting into a safe while you helped yourself to the tissues he’d placed in front of you. When he came back to the desk, he placed a lockbox in front of you. “It’s open,” he said. The handle on the box screeched a little as you turned it to open the box. You shouldn’t have been surprised at its contents, but you were nonetheless. You pulled out a HK .9mm, a box of rounds, and an extra magazine. The last item in the box was your dad’s knife. It had been a while since you’d seen it, he used to always carry it on him when you were little. When the business took off and he became a more “respectable” man, he’d left it behind. It was tucked inside the familiar leather sheath. You’d figure out where to put them later. You asked Frank if it was okay to take the box and he nodded, “Least I can do.”

You sat on your dad’s ’74 Harley Davidson Super Glide, engine running, your mother staring you down in the driveway. Sometimes you wondered if you loved her or not… “Don’t you come crying to me when this whole thing goes sour for you,” she yelled at you. The helmet you had was finally going to get some real use. You put it on your head and fastened the strap. “When, in all my years, have I ever gone crying to you about any goddamned thing?” She knew there wasn’t one time, not since you were very little, if ever. “You wanna talk to me, I’ll have my sat phone. Cell service will be sketchy, but you can try that, too.” “(Y|N), don’t stay away forever,” was all she had left to say and you watched your mother walk back inside her house.

#secrets #prologue #reader insert #samcro #sons of anarchy #fanfiction #fan fic #kazosa

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swtorramblings · 7 years

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On Vaylin

I am re-posting this, my rough draft of a post that I wrote to my main blog when I found that my annoyance with certain game events aggravated me so badly I needed a place to publicly vent. I tried to move it here and broke the whole thing, so lost some of the edits and other information (I’m still learning the ropes). I still want to have it up, but I am also not putting in the tags it used to have. I am trying to be more positive, now, though I will have one more negative, but somewhat calmer, post on the subject in the near future, because even after a month and a half it still gets to me.

I am going on a rant about the SWTOR expansion, Knights of the Eternal Throne. I don’t think anyone is likely to see this that, 1. Cares about SWTOR, 2. Cares about my opinion of SWTOR, 3. Doesn’t already know the plot of KOTET. If I’m wrong, note that there are spoilers ahead.

Too long, didn’t read: Vaylin’s fate is for crap, a badly told mess even if the basic plot of “man and woman enter, only man can leave” wasn’t already a problem.

Note: I’m not really looking for debate. I’m just venting. But, if you must, keep it civil. My ire is meant for Bioware and for the people who have approached disagreements on this subject rudely.

Now, my therapy will begin.

I will be up front about my core bias: I have seen enough stories where a man and a woman fulfill similar roles in the story, have similar experiences, and, in this case, commit similar crimes (of type if not of scale), but the man survives and the woman doesn’t. I was never, ever going to like this plotline. Give us the choice to save both, give us the choice of which one can be saved (Bioware loves that), or don’t let us save either. All would be better, though I prefer the first two.

I fully understand that she was written without those little moments of remorse that he was. I do understand what Bioware was going for. It’s not difficult to see, it was unsubtle. It was also hamfisted and obnoxious. So don’t tell me how obvious it was that she was too far gone and like that: I’m well aware. I just don’t find it to be a good story, especially with so much of how it was handled. They chose to make her that way, they did not have to, and even in making that choice they could have done better.

Finally, I recognize this is a game. It is also, however, a story, and how we tell and share stories is important to me, and this one was awful. Bioware tried to tell a tale of tragedy and familial abuse and mental illness and brainwashing, in an action game with a trinary response, and the lack of nuance didn’t do them any favors. If they couldn’t tell the story with care and sensitivity, they shouldn’t have told it at all.

Vaylin irredeemable. Why? Because mummy and brother can’t find any good in her with their Detect Good spell? Please. Because daddy says she is like a wild animal? Please squared. They should get no say whatsoever.

I swear, whether or not Vaylin ultimately must die I wanted the option to tell them all off. When they say something like that, I want to say, <point to Senya> “You feared her and abandoned her.” <point to Arcann> “You neglected her and killed her brother. Out of everyone living outside of my head, you two are the most responsible for what she has become. Neither of you have any say in how we are going to handle this. And we’re going to do what we can to save her. Period. And if you want any more reason than she’s your family, or the horrible things you both allowed to happen to her, or your own empathy, Valkorian is telling me she has to die, and I refuse to do what that monster says. Are we clear?”

Oh, and that bit where you get the option to tell her that Valkorian wants you to kill her? To try to talk her down? That’s the Light option, Bioware. You’re irredeemable is the neutral option. How hard is that to figure out?

Because she’s a threat to your troops? No. The moment you tell them that Valkorian wants her dead, they should be changing their blasters to stun settings. Well, if those exist in TOR, if they haven’t been invented yet, someone should get on that (and if they do every single light side character should carry one, even if they are clumsy and random, for situations like this). But your troops know what he is, and should be willing to help you out here.

Because she killed a lot of people, including your buddy (speaking of hamfisted story telling)? Arcann killed HK-55 (but, you know, droid, and anti-droid bigotry is certainly a thing in Star Wars, even with otherwise light-side types) and almost certainly many times as many people. I do hope you don’t have him with you if your reason to kill her is because of her crimes (and if you executed him for his, congratulations, you are more consistent with your actions than the game company known for its awesome stories. I say, without irony, good job).

Because she’s killed your buddy and you want revenge? Point. I have no rebuttal, but then, I don’t really have a problem you being able to choose to kill her, here (aside from my “Bioware created an awful and poorly told story of familial abuse where you have to/get to kill the victims” thing), my problem is that you have to kill her but you can save Arcann.

Because she slaughtered her troops with her force powers when they annoyed her or just to show off? Again, hope you haven’t saved Arcann after halving his own forces. Just because she does it herself doesn’t mean he’s less heinous, and magical force powers healed him.

Because she’s too broken to live? That’s really the crux of what Bioware was going for: her mind was crippled by Valkorian and can never be gotten back to what it was. Her sanity can never be restored so we have to kill her because of the combination of her powers and her madness. Well, even if I fully accepted this, I want to be allowed to show sympathy within the game. Yeah, I can pretend that’s what the Outlander is really doing, but some things I’d like explicitly stated, and this is one of those. Just say you’re sorry you have to do this before stabbing or shooting her. I wouldn’t like it, as I said, but it’s a small step up, anyway. And they couldn’t give us that option.

Mock her like a villain? You can. Ask her to surrender? You can. Show sympathy and offer help? No, not really. Not use the command phrase, or even show a shred of sorrow or even embarrassment over its use? Nope, and you’re going to expose it to the galaxy, her shame, her lack of control, the awfulness of her parents! I can’t imagine why she hates you so much, especially with her awful family around you, but you did that to her

This is an abuse victim. Further, she had directed attempts to break her mind, body, and spirit to make her into something else. These things happened. The fact that you walk up to her, close enough to touch, with what sounds like whimpering and fear being the only sounds she’s making, and stab or shoot her is disgusting. If she’s supposed to be just Pure Evil, at least let her be ranting at the end. If she’s supposed to be Irredeemably Broken, pretty much the same. That bit of whimpering both makes her seem like someone not really all that dangerous and someone that I want to save. She made the same noises when you most recently defeat her, while she’s on her hands and knees before you, too. Shame you couldn’t have acted before she bubbled up, hero. Perhaps irrational, but there it is.

Because she doesn’t ask? Because she doesn’t want to be saved? Uhm, and? Bioware tried very hard to present her as completely gone, and why. She doesn’t get to choose whether the people around her are going to at least try to help her. Does that take away her agency as a character? Maybe, but I’d argue that her agency was already taken away by her father (and, by extension, the writers) a long time ago. In fact, note in Chapter 9: “Choice. I could get used to that.” At that point, after death, she has agency. Shame she couldn’t have gained some before that, like, by the Outlander trying to save her.

I actually think she was borderline suicidal. She fought beyond what was reasonable when already defeated, there at the end. When, after you continued her abuse by using her command phrase, she retreated and tortured herself, she shouts out not that she doesn’t want to die, but that she doesn’t want to die “in this place”. Scant evidence, since “not like this” is something people that don’t seem otherwise to want to die sometimes say. But, combined with what she has been through and her constant control by others (I’m looking at you, Outlander), it seems at least plausible. I don’t think it’s what the writers were going for, but I can’t unthink it, and it makes “she didn’t ask to be saved” take on a very different, and much worse, meaning.

Because she’s too dangerous? Maybe. There are some signs of it. She’s certainly been defeated often enough, but, yeah, her power is unlocked! Oh, wait, you beat her again. But, now she has that bubble thing, maybe it’s just going to keep going, burning her out and blowing up your base, if she’s not killed. Maybe her rage would drive her troops forward, even if she was unconscious or, say, in carbonite. It would be nice to have one of those explicitly stated before killing her, because at that point the decision to do that rather than try to take her alive makes more sense.

You had to kill the suicidal woman because she was going to kill everyone around you and it was the only way to stop her? Fine. Show some remorse that it came to that, lightsider. Show some empathy. Really all I want given the choice has already been made by the writers that she must die.

Honestly, there’s an episode of Justice League Unlimited where Batman sits down with Ace while she is dying and just stays with her. A moment like that would have been so much better for the nice characters. Instead, “You’re irredeemable!” stab/shot in the gut.

Maybe you just don’t have a non-lethal weapon. Maybe you should get one, we have them on Earth and can’t even break the speed of light or form light into a solid cutting tool.

Because it’s too risky to try to save her, long term? If you wanted the easy way, you’d have used the Emperor’s power every time he offered it, but you didn’t do that, even to save Lana, did you? But, then, accepting his advice and help is probably a bad idea. What did he tell you to do with his daughter and other family members, again?

Because she was always evil? Many of the things I’ve griped about are open to interpretation, this one included. There were moments when she could be interpreted to have a vicious streak as a little girl. She smiled when the guards died (I still believe that the guards should be hurt, not dead, because Senya should have talked about this instead of the crippled guard if Vaylin killed her sparring partners, but I digress). I interpret that as her happiness in showing off her power, and the moment after that as her guilt realizing what had happened. But, sure, the Dark Side could be interpreted as there, even then.

But that bubbly little girl, bouncing up and down with excitement while her big brothers spar? She’s evil? No. Just no. I fear I have no cogent argument to give on this subject, but I don’t accept it, anyway. They can’t all be gems. My entire diatribe is about how the Outlander should have been portrayed as more emotional, if the player so chooses, and I’m not immune myself.

Conclusion: I’m not happy that you are forced to kill an abuse victim, a mentally disturbed woman who, yes, has committed heinous crimes. This isn’t the right venue for such a story, if any venue is. I am doubly disgusted by the way it was approached, with the hero of the story mocking her and taking advantage of her weakness forced on her by the villain for tactical reasons. You don’t use the command phrase to capture her, or even really to save people nearby: it was always your plan to reveal the results of her abuse to the galaxy. I don’t like that you don’t appear to try to help her until after she’s dead, and are unable to choose to show any kind of remorse for what you must do. They took a story that would have annoyed me and made it into something really grotesque. Good job, Bioware.

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